Hare Tonic (1945) - full transcript
Elmer Fudd buys Bugs Bunny from a meat market as he anticipates a nice rabbit stew. Bugs climbs out of his basket to tell him he's been robbed: the rabbit's gone! Incredibly, Elmer believes him. The dope eventually catches on when Bugs shoves him into the basket and then carries it himself. Somehow Elmer manages to get Bugs home, but the wily rabbit easily escapes. But wait! Why waste a great opportunity? Bugs returns to "heckle that character." He fools Elmer, through a faked radio program, into believing that there's an epidemic of something called "rabbititus" going about. Through Bugs's trickery he sees spots, a coat on Bugs's tongue and his own rabbity image reflected at him in a "mirror" that's really just Bugs after the glass has been removed. Dr. Killpatient arrives to help, but he has a suspiciously fuzzy tail. Still, it's we in the audience who may prove Bugs's ultimate dupes.
Mammy's little baby loves
wabbits, wabbits
Mammy's wittle baby loves
wabbit stew
Put on the skillet,
put on the--
Eh, what you got
in the basket, doc?
I got me a wabbit.
I'm gonna cook me
a wabbit stew.
Mmm, mmm!
Rabbit stew.
Love it. Love it!
Hey, let me see the
rabbit, will ya, mister?
Come on, mister.
Let me see the rabbit.
Will ya, huh, mister?
Will ya please let me
see the rabbit?
Oh, let me see
the rabbit, huh...
Oh. Well... all right.
No rabbit in there, doc.
You been robbed.
No wabbit? Why, I--
Why, he--
mammy's little baby loves
wabbits, wabbits
mammy's little baby loves
wabbit stew
Ooh, you trickster.
You're the wabbit.
I'm gonna take this wabbit home
and fricassee him.
Hee hee hee hee!
He don't know me
very well, do he?
Now, Mr. Wise wabbit,
I'll demonstrate how to
make a wabbit stew.
[Sounds like
telephone bell]
Uh-Oh. The telephone.
I'll be wight back.
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello!
Uh-Oh. Wait a minute.
This setup's too good.
I just can't leave.
I gotta go back
and heckle that character.
But you rang
my phone, operator.
Oh, yes.
My phone went brrrrng.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we interrupt this program
To bring you
an important bulletin.
The department of health warns
that all rabbits sold here
In the last 3 days
Are infected with
the dread disease rabbititus.
It is highly contagious
to human beings,
Causing spots
before their eyes,
Coating of the tongue,
violent fits,
And in the final stages,
the patient has delusions
Assuming the characteristics
of rabbits.
Oh, gracious.
Highly contagious.
Uh, good-Bye.
Oh, my.
Mammy's little baby loves
rabbits, rabbits
Mammy's little baby loves
rabbit stew
Eh... uh... Mr. Wabbit?
Uh, you're free,
little wabbit--
Free to scamper away.
Far, far away.
Ha ha ha!
Oh, no. Couldn't
think of it, doc.
We're gonna brew
a stew, remember?
Oh, no.
No, please, mr. Wabbit.
Please go away.
Don't come any closer.
D-Don't come near me.
No!
Oh, my goodness.
Don't tell me i offend.
Oh, please, mr. Wabbit.
Make tracks. Scurry away.
Scram!
Ok. I can take a hint.
I know when i'm not wanted.
Good-Bye!
[Knocking on door]
Hello.
Ooh, you wabbit!
I told you to scram!
"Quarantined
for rabbititus.
No one may leave
the premises."
Oh, this is terrible--
Trapped with a crazy,
contaminated wabbit.
Oh, now, doc,
Don't get yourself
in a dither.
How do you know
I'm contaminated?
I haven't got
any symptoms.
You don't see no spots
before my eyes, do you?
Oh, gracious.
My tongue
ain't coated. See?
Oh, my gracious.
I don't throw fits.
[Muttering indistinctly]
Oh, gracious!
Oh, my!
No, sirree.
Never felt better
in my life.
I'm full of pep.
Well, yes, yes.
Well, all reet!
Come on, jackson.
Cut yourself
a slice of rug.
Let go of my hand,
you crazy wabbit!
Oh, now you've done it.
You've contaminated me!
[Crying]
[Hissing]
Gurgle, gurgle.
Why don't you pay
your water bill, doc?
I'm dr. Killpatient
from the board of health.
Where's the contaminated
rabbit at?
Oh, i'm greatly
gratified
To see you, doctor.
Ok, ok, where's he at?
He's wight
in here someplace.
Hmm. Mm-Hmm.
Hmm. Yes?
Mm-Hmm.
Mr. Fudd, come in
a minute, please.
Oh! Oh, my gracious!
Why, what's
the matter, fudd?
Spots! I see spots
before my eyes.
Spots? Hmm. That's bad.
Spots. Hmm. First symptom
of rabbititus.
Tell me, fudd,
Do you feel
any rabbit inclinations?
Well, i--No, sir.
What's 2 x 2?
4.
3 x 3?
6.
Aha! Multiplying.
Yep. You're even
beginning to look
Like a rabbit.
Why, that's widiculous.
I don't wook one
witty bit like a wabbit.
No? Well, get
a load of yourself
In the mirror,
long ears.
Dr. Killpatient!
Dr. Killpatient!
[Crying]
I'm a wabbit!
Hmm. Better have a look
at your reflexes.
Now this one.
Now that one.
This. That. This. That.
This. That. This. That.
[Russian music playing]
Hey!
Hey!
You're not
a doctor.
You're that
screwy wabbit.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Look. The people out
there in the audience.
The lady there
with the long ears.
They're getting longer
all the time.
And the guy back there
in the 17th row
With the cute tomato.
He's getting all fuzzy.
Yeah. They've got it!
Everybody out there's
got rabbititus!
Aaaahhhhh!
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, margaret. What a dope!
That was just a gag,
of course.
You folks
haven't got rabbititus.
Why, if you had rabbititus,
You'd see red and yellow spots
before your eyes.
Yeah, that's right.
And then they'd start swirling
and swirling around.
And then suddenly,
everything would go black.
Hee hee hee hee!
And that's the end.