Hard Rock Nightmare (1988) - full transcript
A child is convinced his grandfather is a monster and kills him. Years later he returns with his friends to the sight of the killing. It appears to be his grandfather's revenge as one by one his friends are brutally murdered.
- Some call him Lucifer.
Some call him Satan.
I call him Master.
Creatures who live off
human flesh do exist.
Creatures who drink blood and
can become wolves are real.
Do you hear me?
I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I'm one of those creatures
and I eat little boys
like you for dinner.
And on a full moon,
I become a wolf.
Do you know what a werewolf is?
Do you know what a vampire is?
- Stop this! You're
scaring the boy to death.
- It's okay. Kids
like to be scared.
I'll slip in your house
and drink your blood.
I'm a creature of the night.
- Sometimes you're
a total asshole.
- And I'll come into
your house and kill you
and the whole family.
I'm a vampire!
I'm a vampire!
- Stop it.
- Don't kill me.
I'll be back tonight,
hee hee!
Hey, Mildred.
I'm gonna lay down, take a nap.
Wake me up in time
for lunch.
Little pussy.
- Oh my god! Oh no!
No, what have you done?
He was only joking.
What have you
done? Oh no!
- Jim, are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah. I
just fell asleep.
Hey, what time is it?
- Time to rehearse. Come on.
- Paul, what would
I do without you?
- Be late a lot.
Oh, Sammy's girlfriend's
coming to watch us rehearse.
It's tough being The Bad Boys.
An up-and-coming
rock star's job is never done.
Let's go.
Oh, now Paul, fix that
sound on the new song.
Hey, the next guy
that calls me that
is dead meat, man.
- Gonna be ready
for the concert?
Yeah.
* Started when I got
my first guitar *
* At the age of 10
* I can hardly play but
when I strum that thing *
* I got the right
note now and then *
* All I could see was
my name in lights *
* All I could do was dream
* Now I see what my
mama said to me *
* Son, you know,
it's hard to win *
* It's a nightmare,
it's a nightmare *
* Soon I know it's got me
* Well, it's a nightmare,
a scary nightmare *
* Gotta work real hard
* So I can show my stuff
and blow them away *
* I used to move my
parent's house around *
* So the band could rehearse
* Dad would split
to his workshop *
* And mom would
quench our thirst *
* On Saturday it
was pack our gear *
* Head out for the gig
* Playing the National
Guard Armory *
* It really wasn't that big
* Yeah, it's a nightmare
* Yeah, it's a nightmare
* Yeah, soon I
know it's got me *
* It's a nightmare
* A hard rock nightmare
* Mom and Dad, I know
you don't understand *
* But I've gotta go
* I've gotta make myself a man
* I can't get away,
I gotta shine *
* I got a hard rock
nightmare in my mind *
* It's a nightmare, a
hard rock nightmare *
* It's a nightmare
* It's a nightmare
* It's a nightmare, yeah
Is there
a problem, Officers?
I'm not
dressed to go to jail.
That's it,
the noise has gotta stop.
- Oh, come on, officer.
All we're doing is
rehearsing our tunes.
- This is the third
complaint this week.
One more time and you're busted.
- But, Officer, we're a band.
We need to rehearse.
- Not in this
neighborhood, you don't.
- This is your last warning.
- Dude, like, what
are we gonna do?
I mean, we're never gonna
be ready for the concert.
- We're gonna have to
find another place.
- Where?
- I don't know.
How about your house?
What a fab idea.
But my mother would
never go for it.
Dudes, We
could rehearse in my van.
This is a serious,
what are we gonna do?
- Guys, I have an idea.
All right, Paul,
is everybody here?
- I think so.
Uh, I thought just the
band was going, though.
- The band, Tim, and
a couple of hot babes.
Don't worry about it.
- I'm not, Charlie.
I mean, I just want this to
be a fabulous, groovy weekend.
- Paul, people don't
say groovy anymore, man.
- Jim, do you know
what you're doing?
- Uncle Gary, it's
been over 10 years.
My friends and I need a
place to relax and practice
where we can make as
much noise as possible.
And Grandma would've
loved the idea.
- I wonder what your
grandmother would've thought
if she knew that you were
turning the farm she left you
into a home for
wayward rock stars.
- My favorite group's
The Partridge Family.
- Shut up, Dirk.
- Oh, sorry, Mr. Armstrong.
- Hey Sammy, man,
you sure you'll be able
to find this place?
- Dude, don't even
worry about it.
Connie and I are like
gnarliest to read these maps.
- Great, listen, do me a favor,
and help me get some
of this stuff in there.
- All right.
- So, who are you?
- I'm Tina. Sally's friend.
- Hi, I'm John.
- I'm coming up this week
to help you guys out.
- Great.
You know, I play the drums.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know, if there's
anything I could do for you...
- You know, there is.
- Yeah?
- Could you tell me everything
you know about Charlie?
- You feeling all right?
Any nightmares lately?
- I'm fine.
- Dirk, wait for me in the limo.
- The limo?
- The long black car
we came in, remember?
- Yes. I'm sorry, the limo.
Right away, sir.
- I wanted to talk to you alone.
- Go ahead.
- Jim, you're my
only living relative
and I kind of feel
responsible for you.
- Yeah, I know.
What's your point?
- Well, if for any
reason, how do I say this?
If for any reason you
don't feel well...
- I'm fine.
- Come on, Jim. We gotta go.
- Uncle Gary. I've gotta go.
Thanks for letting us
use your motor home.
Yeah,
really, thanks a lot.
It's really nice of you.
We'll see you in a couple days.
- Jim, are you sure
you're up to this?
- That was a long time ago.
- If there are any problems,
there's Ranger Baxter,
he'll take care of you.
- Yeah, don't worry. See ya.
Why does your
uncle always worry so much?
- He means well.
- I guess.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
All right, Sammy, you drive.
- Boom, we are at it.
* Need a little time
* It's all up in darkness
- So, we all wear mop top wigs
just like the Beatles used to.
- We don't have to wear wigs.
- Nah, band needs a gimmick.
- Why?
So we
can get attention.
- Why don't we just
try playing good music?
Am I the only one
with imagination in this band?
- Of course not. You
forget, my friend.
I'm the one who came up
with the band's name?
The Bad Boys.
- Yeah, sounds like
a gay porno movie.
Excuse me, guys.
But, who is the
blonde with John?
- Huh, you should know.
Your girlfriend invited her.
- Sally did?
- Yeah.
She's supposed to come
along, I don't know,
help cook or something.
- She cooks?
- If you ask me,
she's just a groupie.
- Well, no one asked.
- Hey, if Sally invited
her, she must be okay.
I think she's trying
to get your attention, Charlie.
I'm sitting here.
Okay. If you want me
to, I'll sit over there.
- So, um, tell me
about the drums.
Sure, what
do you want to know?
How big is your
drum stick?
- Uh, did anyone ever tell you
that you have,
uh, fabulous eyes?
- You're the first.
Oh, well.
Your glasses have no
glass in them.
- I, I, I wear those for effect.
I'm basically making
a fashion statement.
- I love-
- Well thank you, um,
I was gonna say...
Uh, Paul Shaffer's my
idol, if you would...
If you could listen...
- So, do you really
think I'm pretty enough
to be an actress?
- Yeah, I do.
You know, I'm more than, uh,
just a band sound
mixer, you know.
- She's a groupie.
- I know.
- And she's trying to
get you interested in her
by flirting with us.
- I know.
- So, what are you gonna
do about the tease?
- Nothing. I'm not gonna
pay any attention to her.
- Why?
- I'm gonna make her beg for it.
- Wow. You are so hip.
- But, for now, I'm
gonna get some sleep.
- What am I gonna do with you?
Tina, control yourself.
- Sorry, he's just so cute.
- You promised to behave if
I invited you on the trip.
- I know, I know.
You're right.
- Throwing yourself
at Charlie won't work.
Enough said?
- Yeah.
- Where is everybody?
Hello?
Grandpa!
Don't kill me! Please don't.
Sorry.
Jim!
Jimmy, are
you okay? You okay?
- You were all dead.
You're all undead.
You're all trying to kill me.
Calm down,
it's over now, honey.
- Oh, it seemed so real.
Go back to sleep.
We're almost there.
Back to sleep.
- Hey, you guys.
I have to tell
you all something,
but I wanted to wait
until Jim was asleep.
- What is it?
- This house has some
bad memories for Jim.
So, if we could all
be extra careful
about Jim's feelings
when we get to the house?
- Place isn't haunted, is it?
- No, of course not.
Over 15 years ago, someone
was murdered there.
- Stop. You're scaring me.
- I'm not trying to,
but let's make the next
few days as fun as possible
so Jim won't have any
bad memories, okay?
- Sure.
- Yeah, no problem.
- And, oh yeah, I never
told you any of this. Okay?
Any of what?
Hey, good morning.
Everybody have a
good night sleep?
I got
the bathroom first.
Who cut the cheese?
Did anyone
bring toothpaste?
Did anyone
bring deodorant?
Somebody wake up Paul.
I think
I'm constipated.
Where the hell are we?
Hey, we're here.
- Where's the house?
- How should I know?
Maybe the
house is invisible
like Wonder Woman's airplane.
- This is as far as
the motor home can go.
We've gotta hike the rest.
- Okay, everybody
grab something.
Let's get to the house.
- Come on, everybody.
Let's move.
I'll lead the way.
- Does this place, like,
have a television set?
- Sure, babe.
Come
on, keep moving.
Slow up.
How far is this place?
- Like how?
- Stop complaining.
- Paul?
Did anybody wake up Paul?
- Guys?
Where is everybody?
Hey, guys?
Can somebody help me?
- Tim, help Tina.
Why doesn't Jim slow up?
Are we
almost there yet?
My feet hurt.
Come on, keep up.
- We're coming.
- When do we eat?
Just a
little bit farther.
- Hey, guys? Guys?
- Come on, come on. Let's go!
- It's getting dark.
- When are we gonna get there?
- Oh, look, a bird.
- Great.
Hey, get down.
- Chill, okay?
- Ranger Baxter.
Yeah. This is Gary Armstrong.
Yeah, the Armstrong house.
Fine, thanks.
Listen, you can
do me a big favor.
My nephew, Jimmy, is gonna
be spending the weekend
up at the house.
Yes, it's the first time
since that terrible accident.
Well, just between you and me,
I'm a little worried about him.
He's been acting strange lately.
I was wondering if you could
look in on them this weekend?
Oh no, I didn't know.
Well, you have a nice time
at your sister's wedding.
I mean, what could
happen to them anyway?
They'll be back on Monday.
I'm just being overly
protective, I guess.
You have a nice time. Thank you.
They're up there, all alone.
- It's the house.
- I thought I'd never
catch up with you guys.
Wow. This structure is fab.
- God, it's just the
way I remember it.
The way I dreamed about it.
- Jim, your grandmother
must have been
a great lady to leave you this.
Jim? Jim, are you okay?
- You okay, buddy?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm great.
- Gonna be okay?
- Yeah, hey,
let's go show
everybody their rooms.
Guess I'm the host for
the next four days.
- Okay, everybody, band
rehearsal in the next two hours.
- The house is clean
and the power's on.
- Yeah, let's go.
- I'm hungry, Sammy.
- Let's check out the fridge.
- Look, a well.
Love Perrier.
- Tim, do you
really think I have
the makings of a great actress?
- Tina, I think that with
the right person behind you,
you could become the
next Meryl Streep.
- Who's she?
- Vanna White?
- Oh yeah, really?
- Hey, I know a lot about
the entertainment business.
- Well, can I ask
you a question?
- Yeah, sure.
- How well do you know Charlie?
* Lurking in the shadows,
dimness of night *
* Plotting evil strategies
* Making wrong out of right
* Deceiving hunks of metal
* With the sound
of lion's roar *
* And trusting in our
and waging a war *
* It's not secret,
you're gonna reap it *
* The seed's been planted
* And in time it's
gonna tell on you *
* It's gonna tell on you
* The seed's been planted
* It's gonna tell
on you, oh, oh *
* Living off the land in
the air of the night *
* Nothing's held too
sacred from its evil bite *
* Cuts in too deep where
the life waters flow *
* And it tries to
hold you back *
* And never wants
to let you go *
* You try to hide it,
you can't deny it *
* The seed's been planted
* And in time, it's
gonna tell on you *
* It's gonna tell on you
* The seed's been planted
* It's gonna tell on you, yeah
* Time is gonna
tell on you, oh *
* It's gonna tell on you
* It's gonna tell on you
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Penny for your thoughts.
You know, when Sally asked me to
come up this week for a
few days, I almost died.
- Really?
- I've seen the band play
at every concert and, uh,
I think you're the best.
- What do you want from me?
Really. What do
you want from me?
- Nothing.
I just wanna get to know
you, to be your friend.
So, long ride up here.
- Real long.
- Well, um, Sally,
she's a great girl.
- Yeah.
- I remember reading
about the murder up here.
Did you ever meet
Jim's grandfather?
- Excuse me.
- Wait, don't go.
I mean, I know I must sound
like some crazy groupie.
- You got that right.
- Penny for your thoughts?
So, if and when your songs
are being played on the radio?
- Yes, my dear.
- And, uh, you and the
band perform on that
national television show?
- Yes, my dear.
- And you all become big
stars and sex symbols
like David Lee Roth
and Mick Jagger?
- Yes, my dear.
- You gonna forget about me?
- Yes, my dear.
- What?
- Sally. I'll never leave you.
- Really?
- Yeah, here.
This is for you.
I really worked hard on this.
I hope you like it.
* When we talk late at night
* Feel so close to you
* There's no misunderstanding
* Nothing clouds our view
* There's no need
for questions *
* Because I know that
your heart is right *
* And people tell
me we're destined *
* I don't know what's
wrong or right *
* Tell me, girl, whoa
* I'm still gonna want you
* Oh, I really need you to
* Oh, I think I want to
* 'Cause your love
has got me through *
* They say our love
- Hello. Hello?
Who is this?
I don't understand. Grandpa?
A full moon?
No, don't kill
me. Don't kill me.
- Jim, are you okay?
What's going on?
That was my grandpa.
- What are you saying?
Your grandpa's dead.
- Yeah, I know.
- Jim, look. Being
here's affecting you.
That was probably some kind
of sick joke or something.
Listen to me, you're okay.
- No, no.
Yeah, I'm okay.
Really? I'm fine.
I'm just gonna go, uh,
go take a walk now.
- Okay, let me come with you.
- No, it'll be okay.
I just need to clear my
head, get some air, you know?
- All right. But
promise me you're okay.
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- So, tell me about Charlie.
- Could you forget
about Charlie, please?
- But you promised.
- I will tell you about
Charlie later, okay?
Oh, I'm so horny.
Drink some of that.
- Whew! That makes me
feel so warm and cozy.
- This will make you
feel even more cozy.
- No.
- Look, all right, if you
don't want to go all the way,
you'll at least
get me off, please.
- That's disgusting.
- It's not
disgusting, all right?
Look, just kiss it, okay?
All the girls in California do.
- No, I said!
- Please, honey.
- No.
- All right, then.
If you don't want to
kiss it, how about this?
That's very good.
- It is big.
- I know.
Oh, okay now, just start slow.
Okay. Oh, that's great.
Oh, that's great.
That feels good.
Oh yes, very good.
All right. Now
little faster now.
Faster, now faster.
Oh my god! Oh, faster, faster.
God, that feels good,
Debbie, please don't stop.
- What?
- I just-
- My name is Tina.
- What are you
doing? Don't stop!
- You don't even know my name.
- I know your
name, it's, it's...
I remember your
name. It's Terry.
- My name is Tina.
- Tina.
I can't believe you're
gonna leave me like this.
Come on, at least finish
where you started.
- Drop dead.
- Damn it, come back here.
Damn it, I'm gonna burst.
Tina!
All I wanted was a little head.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I just thought
I hurt Tim scream.
- Yeah, me too. Let's find him.รบ
Tim!
Tim, are you okay?
Oh my god!
- Grandpa. What have you done?
Come on, come on.
What's going on?
- Something's wrong.
- Let's go, let's go.
I'm
coming, I'm coming.
- Oh!
- Oh my god, he's dead.
- Who's dead?
- I don't know,
his head's missing.
- What happened?
- Dude, this is sick.
- Jim, what happened?
I, I don't know.
Tina, you tell them.
- We were messing around
and I got mad and left.
I don't know he was drinking.
He must have fell
into the blade.
- Paul, take Tina and the
girls back to the house.
Sammy, call the police
or the ranger, whoever,
whoever you call to
report an accident.
- Accident? Wait,
this is no accident.
Tim was murdered.
- What?
- A wolf did it.
- A wolf? Are you nuts?
- That is not funny, dude.
- A what?
- What did he say?
- Come on, Jim. Let's
go back to the house.
- No. Listen to me.
I know it sounds nuts
and you think I'm a
jerk for saying this.
It's very hard to
understand this,
but I know all about this stuff.
My grandfather was a,
he was a very evil man
and he killed Tim.
- Jim, calm down.
- No. Can you listen to me?
We're all in danger.
We're all in danger!
- I think Jim is losing it.
- Listen. Every full moon-
- Jim, stop it. Stop it.
Buddy, it's me, Charlie.
I mean, you're with
your friends, okay?
- Charlie, you gotta believe me.
- I do believe you. I do.
Sally, take Jim
back to the house.
Get him a drink, I'll
be there in a moment.
- Charlie, I can
explain everything.
You know about
what happened here.
It was true.
- I know, I know.
Somebody get some sheets.
Look around for his head.
- It's not your fault.
It was an accident.
- I know.
I just wish I wouldn't
have let him drink so much.
- Tina, is there
anything I can get you?
- A drink would be okay.
- Sure.
- It's not working.
- Well, it was working before.
Try jiggling it.
- Just because I used
to be a mud wrestler,
doesn't mean I'm stupid.
- I know that, Connie.
I know you're not stupid.
You're just hard-headed.
- And what does that mean?
- Nothing.
Just give me the fucking phone.
I will get it to work.
- For all I care, you can
sleep with the fucking phone,
'cause you're not with me.
- It's your loss?
They're all alike.
- Any luck, Sam?
I don't know, maybe if
I get her drunk enough.
- Not with her, with the phone.
- Oh no. It's broken.
- Shit.
- You see?
- Jim, are you
still freaking out?
- No, I'm okay.
I just know what's happening.
- Stop, Jim. Don't say any more.
- No, I have to.
Hey,
is everybody okay?
Yeah, right.
- No. Everyone is not okay.
- Jim, don't.
- This is not the time.
- Wait, just hear me out.
- Hey, tomorrow. Okay, dude?
- Tomorrow it'll be too late!
- Hey, you guys, listen to him.
You guys, just hear
what Jim has to say.
- Thank you, Charlie.
- On one condition.
Man, you're exhausted.
After we hear you out,
you and Sally go to bed.
- Fine, I'll state my
peace and let you decide.
At least I feel better
knowing I warned you.
What time is it?
- About 12 o'clock.
- Okay, for the next
six or seven hours,
we should all stay inside.
- But why?
- Because Tim's death
wasn't an accident.
A wolf did it. A werewolf.
- Sure.
- Don't start that again.
Come on,
gang. Just hear him out.
- Tonight is a full moon.
I went out to the barn
before Tim was killed
and in the bushes I saw it.
- What did you see?
- It was a big wolf, but
it stood on two legs.
I was about 100 feet from it
when it spotted me and ran.
- Wait a minute, man.
How could you see
anything at night,
100 feet away in the dark?
And why'd it run away from you?
- I know it sounds crazy,
but the creature is real.
It killed Tim.
I knew he was gonna die and
I know we're all in danger.
- How do you know that?
- A little while ago,
I got a phone call.
Didn't I, Sally?
And it was my grandfather.
He is the creature.
- He can't be serious.
- Your grandfather's dead.
- Yes, but it's very
hard to kill a vampire.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Stop it.
- Why don't you believe me?
Charlie, you tell them.
Maybe I am losing my mind.
- No, you're not.
Buddy, I will handle
everything, I will.
Paul, Sally, will you
take him to his room?
- Charlie, you're
my best friend.
You gotta believe me.
Prove me wrong.
Get help before
it strikes again.
- He needs to get help.
- Are we gonna do about this?
- Wow. Jim's, like, having
a nervous breakdown.
- Yeah, like, nobody believes in
vampires and werewolves anymore.
- No, I mean, like, if he'd said
a guy in a hockey mask killed
Tim, I'd have been scared.
Yeah.
- He was a little boy.
He really thought his
grandfather was possessed.
The courts understood that Jim
really didn't kill
his grandfather.
They ruled it
temporary insanity.
- Jim's been receiving
psychiatric help
for the last 12 years.
I guess, coming back to
his grandfather's house
triggered it again.
- So, I hope, as his friends
that we can keep his secret.
When we get back to the house,
I'm gonna get Jim some help.
- Well, dude, when is that?
I mean, are we gonna stay
here for the whole weekend
even though Tim got killed?
- Yeah, when are the
police gonna get here?
I, I don't know.
Paul, what did the police say?
- Uh, the phone's not working.
- Oh, okay. There, there's
a CB in the motor home.
- Yeah.
- Well, we'll just use it
and there's a ranger
station five miles away.
- I'm off to the ranger station.
- No, Tina, wait, you
don't look too good.
You stay here and rest.
Connie and I will go.
- Look, if Tim's getting
killed wasn't an accident,
then the only one left
out there with us was Jim.
What are you saying?
- Well, nothing, just
that I don't think
I wanna be left here
alone with Jim, okay?
- Tina.
- Well, for Christ's sake,
the guy's running
around yelling werewolf.
- Jim's our friend.
- And he did kill his grand-
- Tina!
- Just chill, you guys, okay?
She is such a bitch.
- Look, Connie and
I will head back
to the motor home and get help.
We'll be back in no time.
So, chill out, you guys, okay?
- Okay, fine.
Are you sure you guys
can do this all right?
- Sure, dude, no problem.
- Great.
- Where's my jacket?
- Over here.
- What about the ranger station?
- Could you get my bag?
- I'll go.
- Me too.
- Paul, no way.
John, man, it's a
long hike. I'll go.
- Don't worry, John
and I will be fine.
Besides, you should stay
here with Jim and Sally.
- Let's not let our
imaginations get the best of us.
Are you sure?
- No problem, man.
- Be careful.
I love technical stuff.
- Charlie, you stay
here and, you know,
protect the girls, huh?
- Jim's here too. You sure
you don't want me to go?
- Uh, Charlie, let's be real.
- Fine.
But when you get to the
ranger station, call.
- Keep your walkie
talkie on, right?
- Charlie, can I talk
to you for a minute?
- Excuse me.
- Nothing to worry about,
but keep an eye on Jim, okay?
- Oh man, not you too.
- Hey, he's my best friend too.
But who knows what's
going on with his mind?
- I understand.
Now listen. Be
careful out there.
Don't fall in any
holes or anything.
Seriously. And the
band needs you.
And you're my bro.
- Hey, don't get mushy on me.
What's this for?
- In case you run
into any wildlife.
- Come on, we're off.
- All right.
Catch you in about an hour.
- Okay.
- Listen for us.
- Don't worry, we will.
- Be careful, guys.
Be very careful.
- Are you sure you
know where we're going?
- I wish you would
stop complaining.
Connie, you don't really
think Jim is crazy, do you?
- Yeah, Jim isn't nuts.
Like, if he says his
grandfather's a werewolf,
I believe him.
- You mean like the
one in the movies?
- Maybe Jim is nuts.
- You know, my uncle told me
that he saw a
flying saucer once.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Did he report it
to the government?
- Uh, yeah, but they
didn't believe him.
- Why not?
- Well, he was sort of
on acid at the time.
- Man, I am totally
against doing drugs.
- Oh, me too.
Um, wait a minute.
Is pot a drug?
- No, no. It's an herb.
- Oh, okay.
Hey, let's take a break.
After we find the house, I
wanna do some serious boning.
- I brought just what we need.
- Oh, all right.
Gnarly.
Wow.
Mm, let me have a feel.
- Not yet.
Give me the joint and get naked.
- Oh, you don't have
to tell me twice.
Okay, I'm ready.
- So am I.
- God, this is so much better
than the back of my van.
- Mm. Boinking by moonlight.
- You must think
I'm a real bitch.
- No, you're just upset
about Tim and everything.
- No, no, forget Tim. He's dead.
- Maybe you are a bitch.
- Oh no. I'm just
scared and lonely.
- You don't look too scared.
- My room's at the
top of the stairs.
- I'll remember that.
- Charlie, Jim's
not in his room.
Wow, this is so
meaningful, Connie.
- Okay. Okay.
Like, if I'm Mary Anne, who's
Gilligan and the skipper?
- Well, uh, wait, wait a minute.
I mean, we're not even on
a desert island.
So, there goes
your theory, right?
- Okay. Okay.
So, if we're not the castaways
on "Gilligan's Island,"
maybe we're like the
Robinsons on "Lost in Space."
I'm so
stoned. I mean, we...
We shouldn't have
smoked so much.
- It's okay, we're not driving.
Oh yeah. I guess
you're right.
Look, look at that,
over there.
I can hardly see, I'm
so baked.
Oh, look. Look at
the big dog.
- Oh yeah, I see it.
Oh, I must be lost,
like us.
- He's so cute. Here
doggie, doggie, doggie.
Dude, that dog is,
like, growling at us.
- Oh, he's probably hungry.
- Oh yeah.
- Where's the candy bar?
I'm gonna feed it.
- Here it is.
Hey, but,
be careful, Connie.
Don't get fleas.
Hey, be quiet!
- Uh. What the...
Ah!
Oh, this tastes gnarly. Ah!
Oh, wait a minute, you're not...
- And to what do I owe the
pleasure of this visit?
I thought
Jim might be in here.
- Why don't you come in?
- What's this?
- It's a letter I'm
writing to my cousin.
- You're not writing about
Jim's mental problems, are you?
- No, I'm not writing about Jim
thinking that his
grandfather's a werewolf.
- The Bad Boys are one of the
most original hard rock
bands to come along in years,
but the real power
behind the new band,
The Bad Boys, is Charlie Thomas.
Charlie Thomas on stage
is hotter than Jagger
and sexier than David Lee Roth.
But the rest of the
band is average.
- My cousin publishes
a rock magazine.
- Really? But the rest of
these guys are my friends.
- Charlie, can we
speak honestly?
- Go ahead.
- Well, about six months ago,
Sally invited me to come
and see the band play
and well, the band is
good, but you are better.
I mean, you should be the star.
I have friends in
the music business
and I could...
I would do anything for
you, Charlie Thomas.
- And what do you
want in return?
Nothing.
- So, you're trying to get
your cousin to do a story on me?
- I wanna help you, Charlie.
- Do you?
- I have money,
connections to everything.
Let me help you, Charlie.
- Let's speak honestly.
What do you want from me?
- Nothing.
- You're a liar.
I knew what you want from me.
I knew what you wanted from me
from the very first
time you saw me.
- Don't make me beg.
- Ah, what the hell.
It would be rude if I said no.
* And the writing's
on the wall *
- Jim, where have you been?
- Sally, there is
something out there.
I'm not crazy.
- I know.
- Sam, Connie, Paul and
John are all in danger.
- I love you so much, Jim.
- If you love me,
you've gotta believe me.
- I do, I do.
- A wolf is out there.
- I know.
That was great.
That was really great.
- That was great?
What do you mean?
That's it? We're finished?
It's over?
God, it was so quick.
- You wanted to get
fucked and I did it.
Let's talk about my career.
- Well, that sucked.
I mean, that has got to
be one of the worst...
No, no, no, the worst
sex I have ever had.
You're awful.
- I, I did my best.
- That was your best?
Thank god I got
you at your best.
God, what a disappointment.
And I've been dreaming
about this night for months.
- I've never had any complaints
before when I've had sex.
It
was over so quick,
probably nobody had
time to complain.
- Hey, stop laughing.
No, really. Stop laughing.
You know, you're probably
frigid or something.
- Such a good looking guy.
What a waste.
Did you ever think about
getting a penis transplant?
- You're such a tramp.
You probably have no feelings
left between your legs anyways.
You're probably a lesbian.
- You know, if all men
were as bad in bed as you,
I just might be.
- You got a real problem, lady.
- Get out of my room
and forget about my cousin
doing a story on you.
You're not worth it.
- You're a real bitch.
See you later,
pee-wee.
- Jim, it's time for breakfast.
- What's going on?
How come you guys are
wearing ladies' underwear?
- It's the band's new image.
- Jim, we're not The
Bad Boys anymore.
We're the Hot Chicks.
It's Paul's idea.
- Cut it out, cut it out.
But, don't you think
it's fabulous. Hm?
Huh?
- Breakfast!
- Thank god we made
it through the night.
I thought we were
all gonna be killed.
Oh my god. What are
you girls doing?
- Jim, don't be
such a dead head.
If the guys can
wear our underwear,
then we can wear theirs.
- Don't be so square. Jim.
Sally, I
don't believe you.
You're wearing my
Fruit of the Loom.
- No shit, Sherlock.
Sally, are
you feeling okay?
- Great, never been better.
- Connie, you have
such, such nice breasts.
- Why, thank you, Charlie.
- Best breasts on the island.
- If you weren't
sleeping with Sammy,
I might bone you.
- Oh!
Would
you bone us too, sometime?
- I don't know.
- Hey, what's going on here?
Is this some kind
of a sick joke?
I don't understand.
It's all a joke.
- Tina, where's Tim?
- Oh, that's sick.
- Here!
- Hi, Jim!
- All right, this is sick.
No, a dream.
- Another nightmare?
- How long have I been asleep?
- About an hour.
- It's not over.
That thing is still out
there.
- Jim, don't go out there.
- The creature is real.
- Jim?
- If Superman and Mighty
Mouse got into a fight,
who do you think would win?
- Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn.
- Wrong, that's not the
way you play the game.
I say a line from a movie
and then you say a
line from a movie,
but it's gotta be
the same movie.
See, you can't mix up "Doctor
Zhivago" and "Stand by Me"
or "Gone With the Wind,"
and "Friday the 13th."
- That's what this trip
reminds me of, bud,
"Friday the 13th."
- I wish I'd written
the music to that film.
- What? You call that music?
Kill, kill, kill.
Kill, kill, kill.
- Hey, don't laugh.
The guy who wrote that's
making a million bucks today.
Looks empty.
- Right.
- Might be abandoned.
Why don't you go in there
and see if there's
a working phone?
- Why don't you go?
- What? Are you scared?
- No, let's just be safe.
- Okay, chicken shit.
I'll check the station.
- There's supposed to
be a lake down there.
I'm gonna go try to find it.
- Why?
- Maybe there's
some cabins there
and we can get some help.
- Oh, right.
You're pretty smart, bud.
- I agree.
I'll meet you down there in 10.
- All right. Later.
What a dump.
Anyone here?
All right. Flashlight.
Hello?
Hello?
Damn it, it's dead.
This place's a mess.
Kirk to Enterprise.
Kirk to Enterprise.
- Spock here, Captain.
- Yeah, man, beam me up.
Oh yeah, great. I
can't find the ranger.
- John, where is Paul?
- Oh, you went to the lake to...
Who is it?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing, man. I thought I
saw something move by the door.
It was nothing, though.
Hey, what the fuck? Paul?
Hey, man, something's
in here. I can hear it.
- John, get out of there.
Get back to the house now!
- No, no, it's okay man.
I thought...
I must be imagining
things in my old age.
You won't believe what I
thought I just saw.
Oh, shit!
Get away from me,
get away from me!
Help me, oh god!
- John? John?
- Help me, help me!
- It can't be!
There's no such things as
vampires and werewolves!
* It's a hard rock
nightmare, ow *
Oh shit.
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* 'Cause I still wanna rock,
singing with my guitar *
* Look alive for the time,
looking like a cheater *
* Whoa, I'm gonna for a
flame, smoking like a heater *
- We gotta do something.
- Oh god, Paul is
all alone out there.
I'm coming. Paul.
- Great. This is just great.
- So, Sam and
Connie are probably
calling for help right now.
Sally, he's got a gun.
- I knew it was
still down there.
- Where did you find that?
- My grandpa used to
collect old rifles.
- Jim, what are you doing?
- I had to see if
it still works.
Now, all I need is silver.
- Silver?
- Silver bullets.
It's the only thing
that'll kill a werewolf.
- Oh, of course.
- Do your girls have any silver?
- Look, Sally, take
the gun from Jim.
A mental case shouldn't
be holding a rifle.
- You still think I'm crazy?
- No, of course not.
- Don't you realize,
everything I've said is true?
Look, we've gotta defend
ourselves and kill the beast.
- Jim, calm down, will you?
No, listen to me!
- Jim might get violent.
- No.
- Remember, he killed
his grandfather.
- Are you talking about me?
Look, all I need is silver
and I could kill him.
- In my room I have
a silver frame.
Would that help?
- Yeah, thanks.
And Sally, get some tools.
We've gotta make
some silver bullets.
- Okay, come on.
Let's get out of here.
- What are you talking about?
- This guy, Jim,
he's a mental case
and now he's running
around with a rifle.
- He's okay. He's just...
The strain is too much on him.
- Look, Sally. We're
getting out of here, okay?
I just don't trust him.
- Paul!
Paul!
Paul?
Paul?
Paul!
Oh my god.
- Charlie, go back to the house.
Go out the woods.
Jim's right.
- What? A wolf did this to you?
- Man.
- What?
- Wolf man.
- Okay, don't talk.
I'm gonna take you
back to the house.
You'll be fine.
- I...
Tell...
Sorry.
- Oh. No, man.
Oh, man. Oh, man.
Why? Why?
- There's no silver in
your room, you lied.
Why?
- Calm down, Jim,
and put down the gun.
- Don't you understand?
- I have had enough of this.
I'm getting out
of this nightmare.
Jim, Sally, are you coming?
- Not until I find
some silver bullets.
- Sally?
- No, you go.
I love him and I have
to stay. He needs me.
- Sally, I have an idea.
A place we're gonna be safe.
- Go, but be careful.
- Don't worry, there's
not a man or wolf
that can outsmart me.
- Need to get help.
Need to get help.
Oh my god.
Get back.
You son of a bitch.
Yeah, nice and steady.
Almost finished.
A few more won't hurt.
Careful.
- Don't you worry.
A silver bullet. It's done.
- Thank god.
- Now we can go
help our friends.
- Sure.
- Oh wait!
- What?
No, do we need
crosses and stakes?
No.
Look, Sal, I know you
think I'm flipping out.
I'm only trying to protect us.
I really did see
some kind of creature
before Tim was killed.
- Oh shit. I'm
freezing my ass off.
But I'm here til
sunrise.
I can't believe I'm hiding
in a well from a werewolf.
Things like this just
don't happen to other girls.
- Don't worry, Sally.
Everything's gonna be okay now.
- I know, but could
we rest for a second?
- Sure.
- I'm tired.
- You want a drink of water?
- Thanks.
Ow!
What? Hey,
who's down there?
- It's me, Tina.
What are
you doing down there?
I'm hiding
from a werewolf.
- I think you'd better come up.
- No, I'm here till sunrise.
Now, get the hell out
of here. Leave me alone.
- Let's go. Come on.
God. Just one more
hour til sunrise.
Who's up there?
Oh, oh my god, it's gas.
Why would a wolf do this?
How could a wolf light a match?
Charlie?
Are you okay?
- Hey, catch your breath, buddy.
- What's that in your hand?
- What the hell?
- They're all dead.
- Who?
- Everybody's dead.
- What?
- Jim was right!
- Calm down.
- Everybody's dead,
don't you understand?
This big freaking wolf!
- Man. It's a man.
There's no such
thing as werewolves.
Jim, what
are you saying?
- Some animal is killing
people, but it's not a wolf.
- What animal, then?
- A man.
- Paul's dead. Everybody's dead.
I fought with it,
it's a big wolf.
- No it's not.
It's a man who wants us
to think he's a wolf.
- What the hell are you saying?
Have you lost your mind?
- No, I almost did.
But I'm all right now.
Look, that isn't fur.
It's cloth material
made to look like fur.
- Hm. Made in Hong Kong.
Yeah, he's right.
- Shit.
You mean, some lunatic in a
wolf suit is killing people?
Why?
- I don't know, but
I'm gonna find out.
- Wait, wait.
- No, this is
between me and him.
- No it isn't.
Man, some mental case is
walking around killing people
and if we don't stick
together, we're next.
- Yeah, you're right.
We gotta keep our heads.
You know,
I've got a plan.
- Come on.
- Hello, Ranger? Anybody?
Charlie fell in a ditch.
I think he's hurt!
I need help.
If you're in there,
please come out!
Ranger? Anybody?
- Come on.
Come on. Come out,
werewolf, wherever you are.
Get back!
Get back to the... move back!
No! No!
- Get back.
- No, please! No!
No!
No, please!
- Over here! Over here!
Go ahead. Make my day.
Shit!
Look at the face.
It's made of rubber.
Jim, it's Dirk.
But why would Dirk do this?
Look at
his hands. Claws.
Careful now.
God, they're solid
steel, sharp as razors.
Probably tear a person
apart in seconds.
Are you
sure he's dead?
- Yeah.
- Look at his eyes.
- Contacts.
Why would a mad man
do such a thing?
- Mad man?
All right, that's
it. Everybody up.
Put the gun down.
- Uncle Gary?
- Yeah, he's your mad man.
- On the contrary.
My plan is the work of genius.
- Why?
- Money, you simple twit.
Why does anyone do anything?
This farm your grandmother
left you, is nothing.
It's the oil underneath,
that's everything. Millions!
- Shit, Jim, you're rich.
- Why the wolf?
Why'd you have Dirk
dress up like a wolf?
- You nitwit. You are so stupid.
I can't believe
you're my nephew.
Alright, look, the police come
and they find the band and
everybody on the farm dead,
all cut up in little pieces.
And you tell them...
You tell them that
a werewolf did it!
You tell them that
you even saw the wolf!
Well, the police do
some investigating
and they find out that
when you were a kid
that you killed
your grandfather.
You claimed he was a,
a vampire!
That he called you
from the grave!
Well, you go to the nuthouse
and I get the farm
pure and simple.
Genius, isn't it?
- You had all
these people killed
for your sick plan?
- For that much money,
I'd kill everything.
- Yeah. We found out your plan.
It's not gonna work now.
- Well, I'll think
of something else,
but don't worry, you're all
gonna have to die anyway.
You too, Jim.
I'm gonna have to shoot
you too, now. Sorry.
- Uncle Gary, you can't do this.
- Well, maybe somebody will
accidentally fall asleep
smoking a cigarette
and burn down the
house.
- No, please don't kill me.
I'm scared. I, I
don't know what to do.
Kill them. I won't
tell anyone, I promise.
- Sorry, kid. Gotta
kill everybody.
It's the plan, but I'll
shoot you last, okay?
- No, please, don't
hurt me. Don't hurt me.
- Now, come on, kid.
Get up. Let's go.
- Fuck you, Uncle Gary.
- Good work, Charlie.
- Paul always said, "When all
else fails, go for the balls."
- Jim.
- We'll get an ambulance.
- Jim, I'm dying.
- You'll be okay.
- I'll be back from
Hell if I have to!
I'll be back for you!
- He's dead.
- What a sick son of a bitch.
- Yeah, I know.
- You didn't believe that
come back from Hell
stuff, did you, Jim?
- No, of course not.
I don't believe in vampires,
werewolves, or ghosts.
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* Well I'm lookin' to fight and
I hope I'm not your brother *
* Well I am torch in the sand
and I'm lookin' like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* And I still wanna rock as
I sit here with my guitar *
* Look alive from the top
* I'm lookin' like
a cheater, whoa *
* Gonna look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Don't cry, look around
* I'm gonna be surrounded
* Capture the rapture
* Come back, don't go away
* 'Cause I'm a maniac
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* And I love and the fight
* And I hope I'm
not your brother *
* Like a torch in the sand,
I'm look like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run, die, 'cause
I'm a maniac *
* Come back, don't go away
* 'Cause I'm the maniac
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* Gotta look, gotta fight
* And I hope I'm
not your brother *
* I'm a torch in the sand,
I'm look like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play, and
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run, fly, 'cause
I'm the maniac *
Some call him Satan.
I call him Master.
Creatures who live off
human flesh do exist.
Creatures who drink blood and
can become wolves are real.
Do you hear me?
I'm gonna tell you a secret.
I'm one of those creatures
and I eat little boys
like you for dinner.
And on a full moon,
I become a wolf.
Do you know what a werewolf is?
Do you know what a vampire is?
- Stop this! You're
scaring the boy to death.
- It's okay. Kids
like to be scared.
I'll slip in your house
and drink your blood.
I'm a creature of the night.
- Sometimes you're
a total asshole.
- And I'll come into
your house and kill you
and the whole family.
I'm a vampire!
I'm a vampire!
- Stop it.
- Don't kill me.
I'll be back tonight,
hee hee!
Hey, Mildred.
I'm gonna lay down, take a nap.
Wake me up in time
for lunch.
Little pussy.
- Oh my god! Oh no!
No, what have you done?
He was only joking.
What have you
done? Oh no!
- Jim, are you all right?
- Yeah, yeah. I
just fell asleep.
Hey, what time is it?
- Time to rehearse. Come on.
- Paul, what would
I do without you?
- Be late a lot.
Oh, Sammy's girlfriend's
coming to watch us rehearse.
It's tough being The Bad Boys.
An up-and-coming
rock star's job is never done.
Let's go.
Oh, now Paul, fix that
sound on the new song.
Hey, the next guy
that calls me that
is dead meat, man.
- Gonna be ready
for the concert?
Yeah.
* Started when I got
my first guitar *
* At the age of 10
* I can hardly play but
when I strum that thing *
* I got the right
note now and then *
* All I could see was
my name in lights *
* All I could do was dream
* Now I see what my
mama said to me *
* Son, you know,
it's hard to win *
* It's a nightmare,
it's a nightmare *
* Soon I know it's got me
* Well, it's a nightmare,
a scary nightmare *
* Gotta work real hard
* So I can show my stuff
and blow them away *
* I used to move my
parent's house around *
* So the band could rehearse
* Dad would split
to his workshop *
* And mom would
quench our thirst *
* On Saturday it
was pack our gear *
* Head out for the gig
* Playing the National
Guard Armory *
* It really wasn't that big
* Yeah, it's a nightmare
* Yeah, it's a nightmare
* Yeah, soon I
know it's got me *
* It's a nightmare
* A hard rock nightmare
* Mom and Dad, I know
you don't understand *
* But I've gotta go
* I've gotta make myself a man
* I can't get away,
I gotta shine *
* I got a hard rock
nightmare in my mind *
* It's a nightmare, a
hard rock nightmare *
* It's a nightmare
* It's a nightmare
* It's a nightmare, yeah
Is there
a problem, Officers?
I'm not
dressed to go to jail.
That's it,
the noise has gotta stop.
- Oh, come on, officer.
All we're doing is
rehearsing our tunes.
- This is the third
complaint this week.
One more time and you're busted.
- But, Officer, we're a band.
We need to rehearse.
- Not in this
neighborhood, you don't.
- This is your last warning.
- Dude, like, what
are we gonna do?
I mean, we're never gonna
be ready for the concert.
- We're gonna have to
find another place.
- Where?
- I don't know.
How about your house?
What a fab idea.
But my mother would
never go for it.
Dudes, We
could rehearse in my van.
This is a serious,
what are we gonna do?
- Guys, I have an idea.
All right, Paul,
is everybody here?
- I think so.
Uh, I thought just the
band was going, though.
- The band, Tim, and
a couple of hot babes.
Don't worry about it.
- I'm not, Charlie.
I mean, I just want this to
be a fabulous, groovy weekend.
- Paul, people don't
say groovy anymore, man.
- Jim, do you know
what you're doing?
- Uncle Gary, it's
been over 10 years.
My friends and I need a
place to relax and practice
where we can make as
much noise as possible.
And Grandma would've
loved the idea.
- I wonder what your
grandmother would've thought
if she knew that you were
turning the farm she left you
into a home for
wayward rock stars.
- My favorite group's
The Partridge Family.
- Shut up, Dirk.
- Oh, sorry, Mr. Armstrong.
- Hey Sammy, man,
you sure you'll be able
to find this place?
- Dude, don't even
worry about it.
Connie and I are like
gnarliest to read these maps.
- Great, listen, do me a favor,
and help me get some
of this stuff in there.
- All right.
- So, who are you?
- I'm Tina. Sally's friend.
- Hi, I'm John.
- I'm coming up this week
to help you guys out.
- Great.
You know, I play the drums.
- Yeah, I know.
- You know, if there's
anything I could do for you...
- You know, there is.
- Yeah?
- Could you tell me everything
you know about Charlie?
- You feeling all right?
Any nightmares lately?
- I'm fine.
- Dirk, wait for me in the limo.
- The limo?
- The long black car
we came in, remember?
- Yes. I'm sorry, the limo.
Right away, sir.
- I wanted to talk to you alone.
- Go ahead.
- Jim, you're my
only living relative
and I kind of feel
responsible for you.
- Yeah, I know.
What's your point?
- Well, if for any
reason, how do I say this?
If for any reason you
don't feel well...
- I'm fine.
- Come on, Jim. We gotta go.
- Uncle Gary. I've gotta go.
Thanks for letting us
use your motor home.
Yeah,
really, thanks a lot.
It's really nice of you.
We'll see you in a couple days.
- Jim, are you sure
you're up to this?
- That was a long time ago.
- If there are any problems,
there's Ranger Baxter,
he'll take care of you.
- Yeah, don't worry. See ya.
Why does your
uncle always worry so much?
- He means well.
- I guess.
Come on. Let's get out of here.
All right, Sammy, you drive.
- Boom, we are at it.
* Need a little time
* It's all up in darkness
- So, we all wear mop top wigs
just like the Beatles used to.
- We don't have to wear wigs.
- Nah, band needs a gimmick.
- Why?
So we
can get attention.
- Why don't we just
try playing good music?
Am I the only one
with imagination in this band?
- Of course not. You
forget, my friend.
I'm the one who came up
with the band's name?
The Bad Boys.
- Yeah, sounds like
a gay porno movie.
Excuse me, guys.
But, who is the
blonde with John?
- Huh, you should know.
Your girlfriend invited her.
- Sally did?
- Yeah.
She's supposed to come
along, I don't know,
help cook or something.
- She cooks?
- If you ask me,
she's just a groupie.
- Well, no one asked.
- Hey, if Sally invited
her, she must be okay.
I think she's trying
to get your attention, Charlie.
I'm sitting here.
Okay. If you want me
to, I'll sit over there.
- So, um, tell me
about the drums.
Sure, what
do you want to know?
How big is your
drum stick?
- Uh, did anyone ever tell you
that you have,
uh, fabulous eyes?
- You're the first.
Oh, well.
Your glasses have no
glass in them.
- I, I, I wear those for effect.
I'm basically making
a fashion statement.
- I love-
- Well thank you, um,
I was gonna say...
Uh, Paul Shaffer's my
idol, if you would...
If you could listen...
- So, do you really
think I'm pretty enough
to be an actress?
- Yeah, I do.
You know, I'm more than, uh,
just a band sound
mixer, you know.
- She's a groupie.
- I know.
- And she's trying to
get you interested in her
by flirting with us.
- I know.
- So, what are you gonna
do about the tease?
- Nothing. I'm not gonna
pay any attention to her.
- Why?
- I'm gonna make her beg for it.
- Wow. You are so hip.
- But, for now, I'm
gonna get some sleep.
- What am I gonna do with you?
Tina, control yourself.
- Sorry, he's just so cute.
- You promised to behave if
I invited you on the trip.
- I know, I know.
You're right.
- Throwing yourself
at Charlie won't work.
Enough said?
- Yeah.
- Where is everybody?
Hello?
Grandpa!
Don't kill me! Please don't.
Sorry.
Jim!
Jimmy, are
you okay? You okay?
- You were all dead.
You're all undead.
You're all trying to kill me.
Calm down,
it's over now, honey.
- Oh, it seemed so real.
Go back to sleep.
We're almost there.
Back to sleep.
- Hey, you guys.
I have to tell
you all something,
but I wanted to wait
until Jim was asleep.
- What is it?
- This house has some
bad memories for Jim.
So, if we could all
be extra careful
about Jim's feelings
when we get to the house?
- Place isn't haunted, is it?
- No, of course not.
Over 15 years ago, someone
was murdered there.
- Stop. You're scaring me.
- I'm not trying to,
but let's make the next
few days as fun as possible
so Jim won't have any
bad memories, okay?
- Sure.
- Yeah, no problem.
- And, oh yeah, I never
told you any of this. Okay?
Any of what?
Hey, good morning.
Everybody have a
good night sleep?
I got
the bathroom first.
Who cut the cheese?
Did anyone
bring toothpaste?
Did anyone
bring deodorant?
Somebody wake up Paul.
I think
I'm constipated.
Where the hell are we?
Hey, we're here.
- Where's the house?
- How should I know?
Maybe the
house is invisible
like Wonder Woman's airplane.
- This is as far as
the motor home can go.
We've gotta hike the rest.
- Okay, everybody
grab something.
Let's get to the house.
- Come on, everybody.
Let's move.
I'll lead the way.
- Does this place, like,
have a television set?
- Sure, babe.
Come
on, keep moving.
Slow up.
How far is this place?
- Like how?
- Stop complaining.
- Paul?
Did anybody wake up Paul?
- Guys?
Where is everybody?
Hey, guys?
Can somebody help me?
- Tim, help Tina.
Why doesn't Jim slow up?
Are we
almost there yet?
My feet hurt.
Come on, keep up.
- We're coming.
- When do we eat?
Just a
little bit farther.
- Hey, guys? Guys?
- Come on, come on. Let's go!
- It's getting dark.
- When are we gonna get there?
- Oh, look, a bird.
- Great.
Hey, get down.
- Chill, okay?
- Ranger Baxter.
Yeah. This is Gary Armstrong.
Yeah, the Armstrong house.
Fine, thanks.
Listen, you can
do me a big favor.
My nephew, Jimmy, is gonna
be spending the weekend
up at the house.
Yes, it's the first time
since that terrible accident.
Well, just between you and me,
I'm a little worried about him.
He's been acting strange lately.
I was wondering if you could
look in on them this weekend?
Oh no, I didn't know.
Well, you have a nice time
at your sister's wedding.
I mean, what could
happen to them anyway?
They'll be back on Monday.
I'm just being overly
protective, I guess.
You have a nice time. Thank you.
They're up there, all alone.
- It's the house.
- I thought I'd never
catch up with you guys.
Wow. This structure is fab.
- God, it's just the
way I remember it.
The way I dreamed about it.
- Jim, your grandmother
must have been
a great lady to leave you this.
Jim? Jim, are you okay?
- You okay, buddy?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm great.
- Gonna be okay?
- Yeah, hey,
let's go show
everybody their rooms.
Guess I'm the host for
the next four days.
- Okay, everybody, band
rehearsal in the next two hours.
- The house is clean
and the power's on.
- Yeah, let's go.
- I'm hungry, Sammy.
- Let's check out the fridge.
- Look, a well.
Love Perrier.
- Tim, do you
really think I have
the makings of a great actress?
- Tina, I think that with
the right person behind you,
you could become the
next Meryl Streep.
- Who's she?
- Vanna White?
- Oh yeah, really?
- Hey, I know a lot about
the entertainment business.
- Well, can I ask
you a question?
- Yeah, sure.
- How well do you know Charlie?
* Lurking in the shadows,
dimness of night *
* Plotting evil strategies
* Making wrong out of right
* Deceiving hunks of metal
* With the sound
of lion's roar *
* And trusting in our
and waging a war *
* It's not secret,
you're gonna reap it *
* The seed's been planted
* And in time it's
gonna tell on you *
* It's gonna tell on you
* The seed's been planted
* It's gonna tell
on you, oh, oh *
* Living off the land in
the air of the night *
* Nothing's held too
sacred from its evil bite *
* Cuts in too deep where
the life waters flow *
* And it tries to
hold you back *
* And never wants
to let you go *
* You try to hide it,
you can't deny it *
* The seed's been planted
* And in time, it's
gonna tell on you *
* It's gonna tell on you
* The seed's been planted
* It's gonna tell on you, yeah
* Time is gonna
tell on you, oh *
* It's gonna tell on you
* It's gonna tell on you
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Penny for your thoughts.
You know, when Sally asked me to
come up this week for a
few days, I almost died.
- Really?
- I've seen the band play
at every concert and, uh,
I think you're the best.
- What do you want from me?
Really. What do
you want from me?
- Nothing.
I just wanna get to know
you, to be your friend.
So, long ride up here.
- Real long.
- Well, um, Sally,
she's a great girl.
- Yeah.
- I remember reading
about the murder up here.
Did you ever meet
Jim's grandfather?
- Excuse me.
- Wait, don't go.
I mean, I know I must sound
like some crazy groupie.
- You got that right.
- Penny for your thoughts?
So, if and when your songs
are being played on the radio?
- Yes, my dear.
- And, uh, you and the
band perform on that
national television show?
- Yes, my dear.
- And you all become big
stars and sex symbols
like David Lee Roth
and Mick Jagger?
- Yes, my dear.
- You gonna forget about me?
- Yes, my dear.
- What?
- Sally. I'll never leave you.
- Really?
- Yeah, here.
This is for you.
I really worked hard on this.
I hope you like it.
* When we talk late at night
* Feel so close to you
* There's no misunderstanding
* Nothing clouds our view
* There's no need
for questions *
* Because I know that
your heart is right *
* And people tell
me we're destined *
* I don't know what's
wrong or right *
* Tell me, girl, whoa
* I'm still gonna want you
* Oh, I really need you to
* Oh, I think I want to
* 'Cause your love
has got me through *
* They say our love
- Hello. Hello?
Who is this?
I don't understand. Grandpa?
A full moon?
No, don't kill
me. Don't kill me.
- Jim, are you okay?
What's going on?
That was my grandpa.
- What are you saying?
Your grandpa's dead.
- Yeah, I know.
- Jim, look. Being
here's affecting you.
That was probably some kind
of sick joke or something.
Listen to me, you're okay.
- No, no.
Yeah, I'm okay.
Really? I'm fine.
I'm just gonna go, uh,
go take a walk now.
- Okay, let me come with you.
- No, it'll be okay.
I just need to clear my
head, get some air, you know?
- All right. But
promise me you're okay.
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- So, tell me about Charlie.
- Could you forget
about Charlie, please?
- But you promised.
- I will tell you about
Charlie later, okay?
Oh, I'm so horny.
Drink some of that.
- Whew! That makes me
feel so warm and cozy.
- This will make you
feel even more cozy.
- No.
- Look, all right, if you
don't want to go all the way,
you'll at least
get me off, please.
- That's disgusting.
- It's not
disgusting, all right?
Look, just kiss it, okay?
All the girls in California do.
- No, I said!
- Please, honey.
- No.
- All right, then.
If you don't want to
kiss it, how about this?
That's very good.
- It is big.
- I know.
Oh, okay now, just start slow.
Okay. Oh, that's great.
Oh, that's great.
That feels good.
Oh yes, very good.
All right. Now
little faster now.
Faster, now faster.
Oh my god! Oh, faster, faster.
God, that feels good,
Debbie, please don't stop.
- What?
- I just-
- My name is Tina.
- What are you
doing? Don't stop!
- You don't even know my name.
- I know your
name, it's, it's...
I remember your
name. It's Terry.
- My name is Tina.
- Tina.
I can't believe you're
gonna leave me like this.
Come on, at least finish
where you started.
- Drop dead.
- Damn it, come back here.
Damn it, I'm gonna burst.
Tina!
All I wanted was a little head.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. I just thought
I hurt Tim scream.
- Yeah, me too. Let's find him.รบ
Tim!
Tim, are you okay?
Oh my god!
- Grandpa. What have you done?
Come on, come on.
What's going on?
- Something's wrong.
- Let's go, let's go.
I'm
coming, I'm coming.
- Oh!
- Oh my god, he's dead.
- Who's dead?
- I don't know,
his head's missing.
- What happened?
- Dude, this is sick.
- Jim, what happened?
I, I don't know.
Tina, you tell them.
- We were messing around
and I got mad and left.
I don't know he was drinking.
He must have fell
into the blade.
- Paul, take Tina and the
girls back to the house.
Sammy, call the police
or the ranger, whoever,
whoever you call to
report an accident.
- Accident? Wait,
this is no accident.
Tim was murdered.
- What?
- A wolf did it.
- A wolf? Are you nuts?
- That is not funny, dude.
- A what?
- What did he say?
- Come on, Jim. Let's
go back to the house.
- No. Listen to me.
I know it sounds nuts
and you think I'm a
jerk for saying this.
It's very hard to
understand this,
but I know all about this stuff.
My grandfather was a,
he was a very evil man
and he killed Tim.
- Jim, calm down.
- No. Can you listen to me?
We're all in danger.
We're all in danger!
- I think Jim is losing it.
- Listen. Every full moon-
- Jim, stop it. Stop it.
Buddy, it's me, Charlie.
I mean, you're with
your friends, okay?
- Charlie, you gotta believe me.
- I do believe you. I do.
Sally, take Jim
back to the house.
Get him a drink, I'll
be there in a moment.
- Charlie, I can
explain everything.
You know about
what happened here.
It was true.
- I know, I know.
Somebody get some sheets.
Look around for his head.
- It's not your fault.
It was an accident.
- I know.
I just wish I wouldn't
have let him drink so much.
- Tina, is there
anything I can get you?
- A drink would be okay.
- Sure.
- It's not working.
- Well, it was working before.
Try jiggling it.
- Just because I used
to be a mud wrestler,
doesn't mean I'm stupid.
- I know that, Connie.
I know you're not stupid.
You're just hard-headed.
- And what does that mean?
- Nothing.
Just give me the fucking phone.
I will get it to work.
- For all I care, you can
sleep with the fucking phone,
'cause you're not with me.
- It's your loss?
They're all alike.
- Any luck, Sam?
I don't know, maybe if
I get her drunk enough.
- Not with her, with the phone.
- Oh no. It's broken.
- Shit.
- You see?
- Jim, are you
still freaking out?
- No, I'm okay.
I just know what's happening.
- Stop, Jim. Don't say any more.
- No, I have to.
Hey,
is everybody okay?
Yeah, right.
- No. Everyone is not okay.
- Jim, don't.
- This is not the time.
- Wait, just hear me out.
- Hey, tomorrow. Okay, dude?
- Tomorrow it'll be too late!
- Hey, you guys, listen to him.
You guys, just hear
what Jim has to say.
- Thank you, Charlie.
- On one condition.
Man, you're exhausted.
After we hear you out,
you and Sally go to bed.
- Fine, I'll state my
peace and let you decide.
At least I feel better
knowing I warned you.
What time is it?
- About 12 o'clock.
- Okay, for the next
six or seven hours,
we should all stay inside.
- But why?
- Because Tim's death
wasn't an accident.
A wolf did it. A werewolf.
- Sure.
- Don't start that again.
Come on,
gang. Just hear him out.
- Tonight is a full moon.
I went out to the barn
before Tim was killed
and in the bushes I saw it.
- What did you see?
- It was a big wolf, but
it stood on two legs.
I was about 100 feet from it
when it spotted me and ran.
- Wait a minute, man.
How could you see
anything at night,
100 feet away in the dark?
And why'd it run away from you?
- I know it sounds crazy,
but the creature is real.
It killed Tim.
I knew he was gonna die and
I know we're all in danger.
- How do you know that?
- A little while ago,
I got a phone call.
Didn't I, Sally?
And it was my grandfather.
He is the creature.
- He can't be serious.
- Your grandfather's dead.
- Yes, but it's very
hard to kill a vampire.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Stop it.
- Why don't you believe me?
Charlie, you tell them.
Maybe I am losing my mind.
- No, you're not.
Buddy, I will handle
everything, I will.
Paul, Sally, will you
take him to his room?
- Charlie, you're
my best friend.
You gotta believe me.
Prove me wrong.
Get help before
it strikes again.
- He needs to get help.
- Are we gonna do about this?
- Wow. Jim's, like, having
a nervous breakdown.
- Yeah, like, nobody believes in
vampires and werewolves anymore.
- No, I mean, like, if he'd said
a guy in a hockey mask killed
Tim, I'd have been scared.
Yeah.
- He was a little boy.
He really thought his
grandfather was possessed.
The courts understood that Jim
really didn't kill
his grandfather.
They ruled it
temporary insanity.
- Jim's been receiving
psychiatric help
for the last 12 years.
I guess, coming back to
his grandfather's house
triggered it again.
- So, I hope, as his friends
that we can keep his secret.
When we get back to the house,
I'm gonna get Jim some help.
- Well, dude, when is that?
I mean, are we gonna stay
here for the whole weekend
even though Tim got killed?
- Yeah, when are the
police gonna get here?
I, I don't know.
Paul, what did the police say?
- Uh, the phone's not working.
- Oh, okay. There, there's
a CB in the motor home.
- Yeah.
- Well, we'll just use it
and there's a ranger
station five miles away.
- I'm off to the ranger station.
- No, Tina, wait, you
don't look too good.
You stay here and rest.
Connie and I will go.
- Look, if Tim's getting
killed wasn't an accident,
then the only one left
out there with us was Jim.
What are you saying?
- Well, nothing, just
that I don't think
I wanna be left here
alone with Jim, okay?
- Tina.
- Well, for Christ's sake,
the guy's running
around yelling werewolf.
- Jim's our friend.
- And he did kill his grand-
- Tina!
- Just chill, you guys, okay?
She is such a bitch.
- Look, Connie and
I will head back
to the motor home and get help.
We'll be back in no time.
So, chill out, you guys, okay?
- Okay, fine.
Are you sure you guys
can do this all right?
- Sure, dude, no problem.
- Great.
- Where's my jacket?
- Over here.
- What about the ranger station?
- Could you get my bag?
- I'll go.
- Me too.
- Paul, no way.
John, man, it's a
long hike. I'll go.
- Don't worry, John
and I will be fine.
Besides, you should stay
here with Jim and Sally.
- Let's not let our
imaginations get the best of us.
Are you sure?
- No problem, man.
- Be careful.
I love technical stuff.
- Charlie, you stay
here and, you know,
protect the girls, huh?
- Jim's here too. You sure
you don't want me to go?
- Uh, Charlie, let's be real.
- Fine.
But when you get to the
ranger station, call.
- Keep your walkie
talkie on, right?
- Charlie, can I talk
to you for a minute?
- Excuse me.
- Nothing to worry about,
but keep an eye on Jim, okay?
- Oh man, not you too.
- Hey, he's my best friend too.
But who knows what's
going on with his mind?
- I understand.
Now listen. Be
careful out there.
Don't fall in any
holes or anything.
Seriously. And the
band needs you.
And you're my bro.
- Hey, don't get mushy on me.
What's this for?
- In case you run
into any wildlife.
- Come on, we're off.
- All right.
Catch you in about an hour.
- Okay.
- Listen for us.
- Don't worry, we will.
- Be careful, guys.
Be very careful.
- Are you sure you
know where we're going?
- I wish you would
stop complaining.
Connie, you don't really
think Jim is crazy, do you?
- Yeah, Jim isn't nuts.
Like, if he says his
grandfather's a werewolf,
I believe him.
- You mean like the
one in the movies?
- Maybe Jim is nuts.
- You know, my uncle told me
that he saw a
flying saucer once.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Did he report it
to the government?
- Uh, yeah, but they
didn't believe him.
- Why not?
- Well, he was sort of
on acid at the time.
- Man, I am totally
against doing drugs.
- Oh, me too.
Um, wait a minute.
Is pot a drug?
- No, no. It's an herb.
- Oh, okay.
Hey, let's take a break.
After we find the house, I
wanna do some serious boning.
- I brought just what we need.
- Oh, all right.
Gnarly.
Wow.
Mm, let me have a feel.
- Not yet.
Give me the joint and get naked.
- Oh, you don't have
to tell me twice.
Okay, I'm ready.
- So am I.
- God, this is so much better
than the back of my van.
- Mm. Boinking by moonlight.
- You must think
I'm a real bitch.
- No, you're just upset
about Tim and everything.
- No, no, forget Tim. He's dead.
- Maybe you are a bitch.
- Oh no. I'm just
scared and lonely.
- You don't look too scared.
- My room's at the
top of the stairs.
- I'll remember that.
- Charlie, Jim's
not in his room.
Wow, this is so
meaningful, Connie.
- Okay. Okay.
Like, if I'm Mary Anne, who's
Gilligan and the skipper?
- Well, uh, wait, wait a minute.
I mean, we're not even on
a desert island.
So, there goes
your theory, right?
- Okay. Okay.
So, if we're not the castaways
on "Gilligan's Island,"
maybe we're like the
Robinsons on "Lost in Space."
I'm so
stoned. I mean, we...
We shouldn't have
smoked so much.
- It's okay, we're not driving.
Oh yeah. I guess
you're right.
Look, look at that,
over there.
I can hardly see, I'm
so baked.
Oh, look. Look at
the big dog.
- Oh yeah, I see it.
Oh, I must be lost,
like us.
- He's so cute. Here
doggie, doggie, doggie.
Dude, that dog is,
like, growling at us.
- Oh, he's probably hungry.
- Oh yeah.
- Where's the candy bar?
I'm gonna feed it.
- Here it is.
Hey, but,
be careful, Connie.
Don't get fleas.
Hey, be quiet!
- Uh. What the...
Ah!
Oh, this tastes gnarly. Ah!
Oh, wait a minute, you're not...
- And to what do I owe the
pleasure of this visit?
I thought
Jim might be in here.
- Why don't you come in?
- What's this?
- It's a letter I'm
writing to my cousin.
- You're not writing about
Jim's mental problems, are you?
- No, I'm not writing about Jim
thinking that his
grandfather's a werewolf.
- The Bad Boys are one of the
most original hard rock
bands to come along in years,
but the real power
behind the new band,
The Bad Boys, is Charlie Thomas.
Charlie Thomas on stage
is hotter than Jagger
and sexier than David Lee Roth.
But the rest of the
band is average.
- My cousin publishes
a rock magazine.
- Really? But the rest of
these guys are my friends.
- Charlie, can we
speak honestly?
- Go ahead.
- Well, about six months ago,
Sally invited me to come
and see the band play
and well, the band is
good, but you are better.
I mean, you should be the star.
I have friends in
the music business
and I could...
I would do anything for
you, Charlie Thomas.
- And what do you
want in return?
Nothing.
- So, you're trying to get
your cousin to do a story on me?
- I wanna help you, Charlie.
- Do you?
- I have money,
connections to everything.
Let me help you, Charlie.
- Let's speak honestly.
What do you want from me?
- Nothing.
- You're a liar.
I knew what you want from me.
I knew what you wanted from me
from the very first
time you saw me.
- Don't make me beg.
- Ah, what the hell.
It would be rude if I said no.
* And the writing's
on the wall *
- Jim, where have you been?
- Sally, there is
something out there.
I'm not crazy.
- I know.
- Sam, Connie, Paul and
John are all in danger.
- I love you so much, Jim.
- If you love me,
you've gotta believe me.
- I do, I do.
- A wolf is out there.
- I know.
That was great.
That was really great.
- That was great?
What do you mean?
That's it? We're finished?
It's over?
God, it was so quick.
- You wanted to get
fucked and I did it.
Let's talk about my career.
- Well, that sucked.
I mean, that has got to
be one of the worst...
No, no, no, the worst
sex I have ever had.
You're awful.
- I, I did my best.
- That was your best?
Thank god I got
you at your best.
God, what a disappointment.
And I've been dreaming
about this night for months.
- I've never had any complaints
before when I've had sex.
It
was over so quick,
probably nobody had
time to complain.
- Hey, stop laughing.
No, really. Stop laughing.
You know, you're probably
frigid or something.
- Such a good looking guy.
What a waste.
Did you ever think about
getting a penis transplant?
- You're such a tramp.
You probably have no feelings
left between your legs anyways.
You're probably a lesbian.
- You know, if all men
were as bad in bed as you,
I just might be.
- You got a real problem, lady.
- Get out of my room
and forget about my cousin
doing a story on you.
You're not worth it.
- You're a real bitch.
See you later,
pee-wee.
- Jim, it's time for breakfast.
- What's going on?
How come you guys are
wearing ladies' underwear?
- It's the band's new image.
- Jim, we're not The
Bad Boys anymore.
We're the Hot Chicks.
It's Paul's idea.
- Cut it out, cut it out.
But, don't you think
it's fabulous. Hm?
Huh?
- Breakfast!
- Thank god we made
it through the night.
I thought we were
all gonna be killed.
Oh my god. What are
you girls doing?
- Jim, don't be
such a dead head.
If the guys can
wear our underwear,
then we can wear theirs.
- Don't be so square. Jim.
Sally, I
don't believe you.
You're wearing my
Fruit of the Loom.
- No shit, Sherlock.
Sally, are
you feeling okay?
- Great, never been better.
- Connie, you have
such, such nice breasts.
- Why, thank you, Charlie.
- Best breasts on the island.
- If you weren't
sleeping with Sammy,
I might bone you.
- Oh!
Would
you bone us too, sometime?
- I don't know.
- Hey, what's going on here?
Is this some kind
of a sick joke?
I don't understand.
It's all a joke.
- Tina, where's Tim?
- Oh, that's sick.
- Here!
- Hi, Jim!
- All right, this is sick.
No, a dream.
- Another nightmare?
- How long have I been asleep?
- About an hour.
- It's not over.
That thing is still out
there.
- Jim, don't go out there.
- The creature is real.
- Jim?
- If Superman and Mighty
Mouse got into a fight,
who do you think would win?
- Frankly, my dear,
I don't give a damn.
- Wrong, that's not the
way you play the game.
I say a line from a movie
and then you say a
line from a movie,
but it's gotta be
the same movie.
See, you can't mix up "Doctor
Zhivago" and "Stand by Me"
or "Gone With the Wind,"
and "Friday the 13th."
- That's what this trip
reminds me of, bud,
"Friday the 13th."
- I wish I'd written
the music to that film.
- What? You call that music?
Kill, kill, kill.
Kill, kill, kill.
- Hey, don't laugh.
The guy who wrote that's
making a million bucks today.
Looks empty.
- Right.
- Might be abandoned.
Why don't you go in there
and see if there's
a working phone?
- Why don't you go?
- What? Are you scared?
- No, let's just be safe.
- Okay, chicken shit.
I'll check the station.
- There's supposed to
be a lake down there.
I'm gonna go try to find it.
- Why?
- Maybe there's
some cabins there
and we can get some help.
- Oh, right.
You're pretty smart, bud.
- I agree.
I'll meet you down there in 10.
- All right. Later.
What a dump.
Anyone here?
All right. Flashlight.
Hello?
Hello?
Damn it, it's dead.
This place's a mess.
Kirk to Enterprise.
Kirk to Enterprise.
- Spock here, Captain.
- Yeah, man, beam me up.
Oh yeah, great. I
can't find the ranger.
- John, where is Paul?
- Oh, you went to the lake to...
Who is it?
- What's wrong?
- Nothing, man. I thought I
saw something move by the door.
It was nothing, though.
Hey, what the fuck? Paul?
Hey, man, something's
in here. I can hear it.
- John, get out of there.
Get back to the house now!
- No, no, it's okay man.
I thought...
I must be imagining
things in my old age.
You won't believe what I
thought I just saw.
Oh, shit!
Get away from me,
get away from me!
Help me, oh god!
- John? John?
- Help me, help me!
- It can't be!
There's no such things as
vampires and werewolves!
* It's a hard rock
nightmare, ow *
Oh shit.
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* 'Cause I still wanna rock,
singing with my guitar *
* Look alive for the time,
looking like a cheater *
* Whoa, I'm gonna for a
flame, smoking like a heater *
- We gotta do something.
- Oh god, Paul is
all alone out there.
I'm coming. Paul.
- Great. This is just great.
- So, Sam and
Connie are probably
calling for help right now.
Sally, he's got a gun.
- I knew it was
still down there.
- Where did you find that?
- My grandpa used to
collect old rifles.
- Jim, what are you doing?
- I had to see if
it still works.
Now, all I need is silver.
- Silver?
- Silver bullets.
It's the only thing
that'll kill a werewolf.
- Oh, of course.
- Do your girls have any silver?
- Look, Sally, take
the gun from Jim.
A mental case shouldn't
be holding a rifle.
- You still think I'm crazy?
- No, of course not.
- Don't you realize,
everything I've said is true?
Look, we've gotta defend
ourselves and kill the beast.
- Jim, calm down, will you?
No, listen to me!
- Jim might get violent.
- No.
- Remember, he killed
his grandfather.
- Are you talking about me?
Look, all I need is silver
and I could kill him.
- In my room I have
a silver frame.
Would that help?
- Yeah, thanks.
And Sally, get some tools.
We've gotta make
some silver bullets.
- Okay, come on.
Let's get out of here.
- What are you talking about?
- This guy, Jim,
he's a mental case
and now he's running
around with a rifle.
- He's okay. He's just...
The strain is too much on him.
- Look, Sally. We're
getting out of here, okay?
I just don't trust him.
- Paul!
Paul!
Paul?
Paul?
Paul!
Oh my god.
- Charlie, go back to the house.
Go out the woods.
Jim's right.
- What? A wolf did this to you?
- Man.
- What?
- Wolf man.
- Okay, don't talk.
I'm gonna take you
back to the house.
You'll be fine.
- I...
Tell...
Sorry.
- Oh. No, man.
Oh, man. Oh, man.
Why? Why?
- There's no silver in
your room, you lied.
Why?
- Calm down, Jim,
and put down the gun.
- Don't you understand?
- I have had enough of this.
I'm getting out
of this nightmare.
Jim, Sally, are you coming?
- Not until I find
some silver bullets.
- Sally?
- No, you go.
I love him and I have
to stay. He needs me.
- Sally, I have an idea.
A place we're gonna be safe.
- Go, but be careful.
- Don't worry, there's
not a man or wolf
that can outsmart me.
- Need to get help.
Need to get help.
Oh my god.
Get back.
You son of a bitch.
Yeah, nice and steady.
Almost finished.
A few more won't hurt.
Careful.
- Don't you worry.
A silver bullet. It's done.
- Thank god.
- Now we can go
help our friends.
- Sure.
- Oh wait!
- What?
No, do we need
crosses and stakes?
No.
Look, Sal, I know you
think I'm flipping out.
I'm only trying to protect us.
I really did see
some kind of creature
before Tim was killed.
- Oh shit. I'm
freezing my ass off.
But I'm here til
sunrise.
I can't believe I'm hiding
in a well from a werewolf.
Things like this just
don't happen to other girls.
- Don't worry, Sally.
Everything's gonna be okay now.
- I know, but could
we rest for a second?
- Sure.
- I'm tired.
- You want a drink of water?
- Thanks.
Ow!
What? Hey,
who's down there?
- It's me, Tina.
What are
you doing down there?
I'm hiding
from a werewolf.
- I think you'd better come up.
- No, I'm here till sunrise.
Now, get the hell out
of here. Leave me alone.
- Let's go. Come on.
God. Just one more
hour til sunrise.
Who's up there?
Oh, oh my god, it's gas.
Why would a wolf do this?
How could a wolf light a match?
Charlie?
Are you okay?
- Hey, catch your breath, buddy.
- What's that in your hand?
- What the hell?
- They're all dead.
- Who?
- Everybody's dead.
- What?
- Jim was right!
- Calm down.
- Everybody's dead,
don't you understand?
This big freaking wolf!
- Man. It's a man.
There's no such
thing as werewolves.
Jim, what
are you saying?
- Some animal is killing
people, but it's not a wolf.
- What animal, then?
- A man.
- Paul's dead. Everybody's dead.
I fought with it,
it's a big wolf.
- No it's not.
It's a man who wants us
to think he's a wolf.
- What the hell are you saying?
Have you lost your mind?
- No, I almost did.
But I'm all right now.
Look, that isn't fur.
It's cloth material
made to look like fur.
- Hm. Made in Hong Kong.
Yeah, he's right.
- Shit.
You mean, some lunatic in a
wolf suit is killing people?
Why?
- I don't know, but
I'm gonna find out.
- Wait, wait.
- No, this is
between me and him.
- No it isn't.
Man, some mental case is
walking around killing people
and if we don't stick
together, we're next.
- Yeah, you're right.
We gotta keep our heads.
You know,
I've got a plan.
- Come on.
- Hello, Ranger? Anybody?
Charlie fell in a ditch.
I think he's hurt!
I need help.
If you're in there,
please come out!
Ranger? Anybody?
- Come on.
Come on. Come out,
werewolf, wherever you are.
Get back!
Get back to the... move back!
No! No!
- Get back.
- No, please! No!
No!
No, please!
- Over here! Over here!
Go ahead. Make my day.
Shit!
Look at the face.
It's made of rubber.
Jim, it's Dirk.
But why would Dirk do this?
Look at
his hands. Claws.
Careful now.
God, they're solid
steel, sharp as razors.
Probably tear a person
apart in seconds.
Are you
sure he's dead?
- Yeah.
- Look at his eyes.
- Contacts.
Why would a mad man
do such a thing?
- Mad man?
All right, that's
it. Everybody up.
Put the gun down.
- Uncle Gary?
- Yeah, he's your mad man.
- On the contrary.
My plan is the work of genius.
- Why?
- Money, you simple twit.
Why does anyone do anything?
This farm your grandmother
left you, is nothing.
It's the oil underneath,
that's everything. Millions!
- Shit, Jim, you're rich.
- Why the wolf?
Why'd you have Dirk
dress up like a wolf?
- You nitwit. You are so stupid.
I can't believe
you're my nephew.
Alright, look, the police come
and they find the band and
everybody on the farm dead,
all cut up in little pieces.
And you tell them...
You tell them that
a werewolf did it!
You tell them that
you even saw the wolf!
Well, the police do
some investigating
and they find out that
when you were a kid
that you killed
your grandfather.
You claimed he was a,
a vampire!
That he called you
from the grave!
Well, you go to the nuthouse
and I get the farm
pure and simple.
Genius, isn't it?
- You had all
these people killed
for your sick plan?
- For that much money,
I'd kill everything.
- Yeah. We found out your plan.
It's not gonna work now.
- Well, I'll think
of something else,
but don't worry, you're all
gonna have to die anyway.
You too, Jim.
I'm gonna have to shoot
you too, now. Sorry.
- Uncle Gary, you can't do this.
- Well, maybe somebody will
accidentally fall asleep
smoking a cigarette
and burn down the
house.
- No, please don't kill me.
I'm scared. I, I
don't know what to do.
Kill them. I won't
tell anyone, I promise.
- Sorry, kid. Gotta
kill everybody.
It's the plan, but I'll
shoot you last, okay?
- No, please, don't
hurt me. Don't hurt me.
- Now, come on, kid.
Get up. Let's go.
- Fuck you, Uncle Gary.
- Good work, Charlie.
- Paul always said, "When all
else fails, go for the balls."
- Jim.
- We'll get an ambulance.
- Jim, I'm dying.
- You'll be okay.
- I'll be back from
Hell if I have to!
I'll be back for you!
- He's dead.
- What a sick son of a bitch.
- Yeah, I know.
- You didn't believe that
come back from Hell
stuff, did you, Jim?
- No, of course not.
I don't believe in vampires,
werewolves, or ghosts.
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* Well I'm lookin' to fight and
I hope I'm not your brother *
* Well I am torch in the sand
and I'm lookin' like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* And I still wanna rock as
I sit here with my guitar *
* Look alive from the top
* I'm lookin' like
a cheater, whoa *
* Gonna look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Don't cry, look around
* I'm gonna be surrounded
* Capture the rapture
* Come back, don't go away
* 'Cause I'm a maniac
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* And I love and the fight
* And I hope I'm
not your brother *
* Like a torch in the sand,
I'm look like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play,
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like a maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run, die, 'cause
I'm a maniac *
* Come back, don't go away
* 'Cause I'm the maniac
* See I walk and I talk
and I look like another *
* Gotta look, gotta fight
* And I hope I'm
not your brother *
* I'm a torch in the sand,
I'm look like a cheater *
* Gotta look when I play, and
I'm smokin' like a heater *
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run like maniac,
fly like a maniac *
* Die like a maniac
* Walk like a maniac,
talk like a maniac *
* Look like a maniac
* Run, fly, 'cause
I'm the maniac *