Hard Promises (1991) - full transcript
A man who doesn't like stable work environments has been away for too many years, and finds out his wife has divorced him and is planning to remarry. He comes home to confront her, trying to convince her not to get married, aided by the daughter, who loves him despite his wandering ways. The couple finds out they still have feelings for each other but must decide how best to handle the contradiction of their lifestyles.
I'm tellin' you guys the truth.
On that beach...
That day...
This beautiful Tahitian
girl walked up to me
wearing nothing.
Dark brown skin.
Her breasts were...
This girl was completely naked.
She walked up to me,
she looked me
right in the eyes...
I smiled.
She hesitated for
just a split second.
Then she looked
down at the sand,
and walked away.
Her breasts silhouetted
against the golden sun.
Yeah, and?
And that was it.
What are you tellin' us? All
this and you didn't nail her?
I didn't have to.
It was a perfect moment.
Perfect moment?
Jesus.
Son, there's a better way
of dealin' with naked women
besides watching them
walk off into the sunset.
Hey, boys, come on and get it!
I got money and mail!
Hey, Joey, I got one for you!
I got one for you.
That's yours.
And you got two.
Thank you.
And, Joey, there's yours.
Looks like some young lady's
been real
determined to find you.
Is someone gettin' married,
Joey?
Yeah.
My wife.
Pinky!
Huh?
Paul Bunyan's back! Yes!
Hey, you were gone too long this time,
damn you!
You look good, though.
Joey! I gotta show you something,
okay?
I gotta show you.
Now, remember the auto show,
right?
1970, remember? The car?
Pinky, Pinky...
Hey, how was Tahiti?
Joey, I wanted to come over.
I was thinkin' of coming over.
You know, me and you,
wasted on an island,
but look at this,
I got promoted.
That's great.
Listen, I want you to tell me
what's going on around here.
Joey, Joey, listen.
You didn't see my new monster.
Look at him. Doesn't
he looked dazed?
Name's Tommy. I call
him Pinky Junior the third.
Congratulations.
I want you to tell me
how my wife can be
getting married tomorrow.
I mean, uh, it's a joke, right?
Walter Humphrey?
What was he,
captain of the stamp collecting team?
Yeah, but Joey...
I don't think it's a joke, man.
But she can't marry
somebody else.
Well, she divorced you.
She can't do that.
Joey, she did.
All right, look,
I gotta go find her.
I'll see you later.
Okay, okay. Joey,
meet me at the bar tonight, okay?
I'll bring the car.
Howard! Howard.
Hey, Joey. How you doin'?
That's a great shirt!
Listen,
you got a car I can borrow?
Got my mom's Volvo. All right.
I need you to fix the
starter on my Buick.
Can you do that today? Yeah,
I'll give it a try.
Excellent. Keys? In the car.
All right. Tell your mom thanks.
And I'll bring it back later.
Here. Keep the shirt.
Hey, thanks, man.
You know, I'm going to Hawaii
as soon as I get out of high school.
Yeah? Good for you.
Are you growin' a
moustache? Yeah.
Kinda jumps out at you,
doesn't it?
All the
way down! Keep your knees straight!
Come on,
Chuck. Get all the way down to your toes.
Stretch 'em!
Hey, coach. Hey! Hey, Joey.
All right. Come on up.
Yes, sir? Can I help you?
Joey Coalter!
Mrs. Bell.
My favorite little boy.
You spent more time in my office
than any other little boy,
didn't you, dear?
And I so enjoy the
cultural samples
that you send for
Beth to share with us.
My personal favorite...
Boy.
Sorry.
My personal favorite
is the coconut
breastplates from Hawaii.
Like armor. Good
for the older girls.
It's a difficult age.
Chris?
I'm sorry.
I have to find Chris, Mrs. Bell.
Phillip, have you seen Christy?
Yes, ma'am. Try the gym.
We're so happy for Christy.
She just had so nervous a year,
and that Walter really
calmed her down.
Walter is such a
well-mannered boy.
I'd love to chat, Mrs. Bell,
but I really gotta go.
That boy was always in a hurry.
Wendy's asleep.
What kind of a night is it?
Moonlit night.
Moon, go stand behind Wendy.
And the good dog
Nana by her side.
And the crocodile
slowly ticking and tocking.
Tick-tock.
Tiger Lily follows.
Then Captain Hook runs in,
and Tinkerbell...
Whee! And Wendy wakes up.
Oh, God.
Michael!
Hi!
I'm back.
Miss Bowman is in charge.
Oh, dear.
Mrs. Coalter,
we're not done practicing!
Hang in there, Peter.
Hi, Mrs. Coalter.
Good morning.
Chris!
Don't let him follow me!
You guys, quit the horseplay.
We're goin' to play a game.
Take me home!
Please?
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Hi, baby!
Look at you.
What,
do you grow an inch a month?
Gimme a break. I don't know you.
You're too tall and
beautiful for me to know.
You were gone
too long this time.
I know, honey.
But, look,
I gotta go catch mom and talk to her.
I'll see you after school.
Can I go with
you? I hate school.
Not now. It's real important
I talk to your mom, okay?
I love you.
I'll see you later.
Go play soccer.
Dad?
Goodbye, Mrs. Coalter!
Hello? Dawn? Come over, quick.
He's back.
What?
Oh, God. He's here!
Don't let him in,
whatever you do.
Do not let him
in. I'm on my way.
Okay, okay. Hurry.
Christy! Open the door.
This is not a good time.
Come on, open the door.
Could you come back later?
Damn!
Why'd you want me to come
home if you don't wanna see me?
Who said I
wanted you to come home?
Then why did you
send me a wedding invitation,
if you didn't want
me to come home?
What?
Chris, come on. Open the door.
This is my house, too, remember?
Good boy. Good dog.
Christy!
Damn!
Go away!
Did you cut your hair?
Yeah.
Like it?
It looks great.
Come on, baby,
let me in. We'll just talk.
No. You're staying out there,
and I'm staying in here.
Chris, I promise.
I won't even touch your hand.
I won't even touch your arm.
I won't even touch your neck.
Joey, shut up.
My lips will not go up
and down your spine.
Shut up, Joey.
And I promise not to
lick you behind your ears.
Joey! Shut up!
Oh, come on,
Chris. Gimme a break!
Joey Coalter,
get down from there this very minute!
Dawn? I'm here, honey.
Joey, I swear to God,
I'll call the sheriff.
It's nice to see you, too, Dawn.
Chris...
I'm gonna bust this window in.
Don't you dare bust that window!
It's a brand-new thermopane.
We paid $110 for it.
$110?
Them windows ain't cheap, Joey.
I waited six weeks for it.
And you will not
break the window.
It'll take ten weeks
to get a new one.
Back orders up the
wazoo at Thompson's.
I'm countin' to five. Oh,
come on!
One... It's gonna be a cold winter,
Joey.
Two... Don't you dare break that window,
Joey!
I wouldn't, Joey.
Four... Oh,
it's a goddamn expensive window!
Okay! Okay! I'm not gonna
break the damn window.
You hear that, Mr. Bentson?
I'm not gonna break the window.
Good! I'm gonna bring over
some home-baked cookies.
Stay right where you are.
Chris, honey,
come on. We gotta talk.
No!
I'm finally doing one
smart thing in my life.
And you are not
gonna talk me out of it.
Chris, what are you doing?
No,
Chris! Don't turn on the shower.
Come on!
God damn it!
Daddy!
Honey.
What are you doing
back from school?
Did you get my letter?
What letter?
Mom's wedding
invitation. Did you get it?
Yeah. I got it.
This is the new
bike you bought me.
It's nice. I like red.
Take me for a bike ride?
Not now. This is not a good time,
okay?
Dad, you promised,
as soon as you came home
you'd take me for a
ride. You promised!
Okay!
Okay.
Talk to me,
Dawn. Just say something nice.
- You need a haircut.
- Thanks.
And stay away from Pinky,
please.
We're going for a bike ride.
Cookies? Thanks, Mrs. B.
Chris? It's me.
Chris, it's Dawn!
Where is he?
Look, this is it, okay?
You have to fight
it. Just fight it.
Yeah. Don't let up.
Don't let him near you.
Where is he? He's outside.
Riding a bicycle with Beth.
With Beth? She's
supposed to be at school.
You're supposed to be at school.
I wanna kill myself.
Well, you can't.
You have a wedding tomorrow.
Dead is not sexy
on a wedding night.
I need a cigarette.
Don't let him start
you smoking again!
Bring me a beer!
You know, he's skinnier.
I never noticed his butt before.
You're supposed to be helping me,
Dawn!
Sorry.
Where are my goddamn cigarettes?
They displayed my
papier-mache map
of the United States at school,
and I put stars on all
the places you've been.
I have to come see it.
When?
Hey,
does Joey know I have a baby?
All I want is a family!
A real family.
Yeah, well, you remember that.
Where are my goddamn cigarettes?
Top drawer.
Thanks.
Joey Coalter is not
gonna make me feel guilty.
Don't you dare feel guilty!
Don't let him near you.
I mean,
my God! What does he expect?
Twelve and a half years.
Twelve and a half years.
"Merry Christmas,
honey. I'm goin' to Florida to build..."
A boat. I know.
"Happy Easter! I'll
call you from Arizona."
He's home after six weeks
with rattlesnake belts.
Belts. Pinky wears his.
You know, I figured it out.
Twelve and a half years
is exactly 4,562 days.
He was home 1,137 of those days.
You know, I didn't get
married to be alone 3,425 days!
Oh, my God. What?
Walt!
He'll kill Walt.
Or at least hurt him very badly.
Walter Humphrey
is the best thing
that ever happened to you,
and don't you ever forget that.
The best.
Life's beautiful,
isn't it? Whoo-ee!
Isn't it?
Are you gonna let
Mom marry Walt?
I don't want you to worry about it,
okay?
But, are you?
Would I ever let you down?
You didn't get to
see me in my play.
I bet you were great.
Well,
I kind of blew one of my lines.
Yeah, but nobody noticed, right?
Yeah, wanna bet?
Beth?
Beth, honey,
get your dad off your bike
and head back to school.
Where are you
gonna sleep tonight?
I don't know, but wherever I am,
I'll be dreaming of you.
Beth?
You better go back to school
before your mom gets any
madder than she already is.
See you later, okay? Okay.
Beth, you hear me?
Dad's back, Mom.
So I see.
Go away, Joey.
I am not leavin' until I
get to talk to you alone.
Why? You never
listen to me anyway.
What do you mean,
I never listen to you?
I ask you to do
something for me,
and you just go ahead
and do whatever you want.
You never think about
how I feel or what I want.
God damn it! Why can't you
ever do what I ask you to do?
Joey, do us all a favor, okay?
Go home, Dawn.
I want Dawn here. And I am here.
Which is more than I can
say for you most of the time.
What is it you want me to do?
Go talk to Stuie Haggart.
Oh, he's a turd!
Well, he's my lawyer.
Why do I wanna talk to
some blood-sucking lawyer?
Stuie is not blood-sucking.
No? He tied his sister
buck naked to a lawnmower
and sold tickets to
watch him mow the lawn.
Yeah, and you bought one.
What do you expect? I was 12.
Look. Want me to
talk to Stuie Haggart?
If Stuie has something to say
that has to do with you and me,
then you and me are
gonna go see him. Together.
You and me and Dawn!
No, Dawn's not comin'.
Well,
if Dawn's not comin' then I'm not comin'.
If Chris wants me,
I'm gonna come.
Oh, well, fine,
why don't we have Mrs. Bentson join us?
I'm not comin' unless
Mr. Bentson comes.
I can do that.
Great. Is there anybody
else on the block
that would like to come?
We could turn
this into a field trip.
I'm game.
Cookies?
I follow. I understand,
Mr. Gunderson,
but, in fact,
correct me if I'm wrong...
Isn't cow manure good for roses?
Yeah,
I realize it wasn't your cow,
but to sue your neighbor
for essentially providing
you with free fertilizer.
I do not think you've got
a very strong case here.
Excuse me.
Chris says I'm
supposed to talk to you.
Yeah,
I'm gonna have to get back with you.
And Mr. Gunderson,
could you call me Stuart?
All right. Bye-bye.
This is totally unprofessional!
Get off it, Stuie. Stuart!
In my office,
in a lawyer's office,
when that door is closed...
What is it you gotta tell me?
Hey! Guess what?
It's closed for a reason.
This is a room of confidentiality here,
okay? This is sacred.
I said,
what is it you gotta tell me? Joey!
Let go of the tie! Stuie!
It's Stuart! Stuart!
Show Joey the divorce papers,
Stuart.
All right.
Let's all just... Here.
Let me just... Joey,
you wanna sit down?
No, I don't wanna sit down.
All my clients sit down.
Really? Guess what?
I'm not your client.
Joey,
please. This is how it works.
You know, legal stuff.
You do have an idea what legal stuff is,
right?
God, you're buggin' me, Dawn.
You're really buggin' me. Oh,
I'm bugging you? I like that.
Do you ever think
that you bug anyone?
Okay,
that's it. You're outta here.
Excuse me! I'm with Chris.
This is none of your business,
so get your butt out of
here. Let go of my hand.
Who are these people
I'm yelling in front of?
These are my neighbors.
Cookies?
Just show Joey the divorce papers,
Stuart.
The terms of the divorce.
You don't... Oh, of course not.
What these mean is that you,
Joey,
you no longer
have spousal rights.
You cannot bust
into my classroom
or bust into my house.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Our house.
Uh-uh.
N-O.
The marital property settlement
awarded Christine the house,
the 1979 Honda,
five $100 savings bonds.
You retain the
land at the creek,
the rowboat,
the 15-horsepower motor,
the remaining eight
$100 savings bonds,
the 1969 Buick... Shut up,
Stuie.
Stuart!
Chris filed for divorce.
Under state law,
we then attempted to locate you.
We published her
intentions in the newspapers
for four consecutive weeks.
We received zero response.
She waits. Waits the
mandatory separation period,
at which point
the court enters an
order granting the divorce.
So, there. That's it. Finito.
The marriage is over.
So, you're really pissed?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I'll tell you why!
Beth had the flu,
I had a toothache.
The snake?
There was a snake in the house.
The car died, it was cold,
it rained, the gutters broke,
and I had to sleep
with socks on!
That's why.
Okay,
okay. I guess I stayed away too long.
I guess.
But I was making good
money. I sent you the checks.
I was thinking of bringing
you and Beth out there.
I teach school here!
Here, there,
what's the difference?
"There" never lasts. There's
always another "there."
Beth and I will be "there,"
and you'll be someplace else.
That's why I came home!
Joey...
I didn't do this because you
stayed away longer than usual.
I won't do it again.
Okay?
I promise.
I made up my mind.
No, you haven't.
I love you.
And that's why I can't let
you marry Walter Humphrey.
He thinks he can get to me.
But he can't.
He can't.
Hiya, Trudy.
Joey! It's been a while!
Yeah, I know.
Listen,
you got any of those cupcakes Chris likes?
You mean the strawberry
with the coconut?
Right there, they are.
That's it. I need a whole box
of those delivered to my house.
Can you do that? Sure thing.
But I think it's gonna take
more than a few cupcakes this time,
Joey.
Hey, big guy!
Good to see you again.
Yeah,
all right. As a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to
rehearsal right now,
so I better hurry.
Hey, Walt!
I feel better.
Guess Joey's back.
Rehearsal is starting.
I need everybody in the tent.
Let's move it,
happy people! Places!
Where's the flower girl?
Hey.
Hey!
I'm gonna be your cousin.
You want a hot dog?
Have you bit into it and
slobbered all over it?
Just on this half.
You can have this half.
What are you doin'?
Waitin' for my dad.
I love you.
I really love you.
Well, the only thing I've ever
been interested in is taxidermy.
Oh.
This arcana chicken
is an example of my best work.
I want you two to have it.
Shelley, leave Chris alone.
We have to all go
get in our places.
I wasn't doing anything.
We were just talking,
right? Right.
Talking about life.
Right? Right.
That's what we
were talking about.
Shelley. I'm sorry!
Excuse me,
Mrs. Humphrey... Stuart!
Ow! Shelley!
Thank you. Forgot what I...
Oh! The minister
wants to see you now.
Thank you, Stuart. Stuart!
Stuart!
Shelley uses large
amounts of formaldehyde,
and we wonder about its effects.
I have to go get
things organized,
But I hope your ex-husband
won't be a problem.
Joey knows it's over between us.
Well, we can only hope.
Oh! Isn't this lovely?
Looks like the first
boy that ever kissed me.
Yes. Well...
William! Tucker!
Go wash your hands
and get into place.
You don't let Joey Coalter
within ten feet of you,
you understand me?
He's just like your father.
He'll charm the pants
off you one minute,
and have you cooling
in the breeze the next.
You don't want
to end up like me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Aren't you talkin'
to me anymore?
My dad came home.
I don't know if I can be
friends with both of you.
Well, um,
it's okay with me if it's okay with him.
I'm in the middle
of a nightmare.
What do you mean?
You and me drinkin' here?
Chris! I'm talkin' about Chris.
Oh, that, yeah.
What are you gonna do?
It's not gonna happen.
I'm just havin' a nightmare.
You feel that? Yeah!
Then you're not
havin' a nightmare.
I'm not gonna let this happen.
I gotta find her again.
Joey!
She's at the wedding rehearsal.
With Dawn.
So, let's go!
Okay. We'll take my car.
You ready for this?
You're gonna wet your pants.
What'd you paint
with? Nail polish?
Custom pink. Great, huh?
I'll drive. You always drive!
You be very careful.
Joey!
Be careful!
Joey! There's people there.
Joey!
Walt!
Tell me how it's gonna be again?
We're waiting.
Well, it's gonna be wonderful.
You're gonna be
a wonderful wife,
and we'll have kids.
Yeah, and we'll build a house.
A house...
And you'll teach and
I'll have the dealership,
and who knows what else, huh?
Do you want something else?
A garden.
We'll have a garden
in the backyard.
And in the summer
we'll plant seeds.
Little tiny seeds.
Every day, we'll go out,
we'll check on 'em,
and we'll watch them grow.
Every day,
we'll watch them together.
Every day.
Can we watch them
together every day?
Chris,
I'm gonna be there for you.
Okay?
Walt, when you hear the music,
that's when you and Stuart
come stand to the left of me.
That's your cue, Christine.
No, no, look. Oh, my...
Oh, boy.
Dad!
Hey, everybody. BETH: Dad!
I knew you'd come.
God damn it.
Pinky, what are you doing here?
Joey was driving. I
came along for the ride.
I'll take care of it. oey?
Beth. Beth, come back here.
No. Hello, Maybelle.
Pretty dress. You look great.
Thanks for noticing, but...
Don't think that
means I'm on your side.
Side? Who's taking sides?
Are we taking sides
here? I'm not taking sides.
Joey,
can I help you with something?
I don't know, Walt. Can you?
Can he, Chris?
Joey, we're right in the
middle of something here.
I know that, Walt.
Jesus, a chair.
Pretty scary, Walt.
Awful scary, Walt.
Oh, shut up, Pinky.
Guys,
this is just a little childish.
I don't know,
Walt picked the game.
Joey, just leave right now,
and we'll forget about it.
I guess I got about 100 chairs to go,
honey!
I'll get there!
You're not in high school any longer,
Joey, okay?
Nobody thinks this is high school,
Stuie.
Stuie, shut up!
Hey, Walt. What?
Get him! Get him!
You guys are quick.
Damn it, Joey.
You don't come and
take what you want anymore.
Other people have a say in this,
too.
I wanted to know if Chris had
something she wants to say.
Chris,
do you have anything you wanna say?
Hmm?
Tell these people you
gotta think about this.
Hmm...
Chris?
Oh! See there now. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Mom!
You are gonna leave her alone!
Dad!
I'm sorry.
Chris!
Joey!
Joey!
Joey!
Come on!
Move over! I'm driving.
No, I'll drive. I can drive!
God damn it!
Hey! Hey, folks!
How 'bout everybody
just stay out of this,
leave them alone.
Or does somebody
want cow pie for dessert?
You get that on me,
you'll eat dog food for a month.
Hey, Dawn!
Crazy Pinky.
Okay, fine,
I won't throw cow shit at my wife.
The rest of you,
stay where you are!
Oh, go away, Pinky.
I didn't mean you,
Mrs. Humphrey.
Chris?
You don't own her, Joey.
She's made up her mind.
You gotta respect that.
I don't have to
respect anything.
Oh,
Jesus. Did you hear what you just said?
Love and respect aren't the same thing,
Walt.
And I'm not leaving
till I talk to my wife.
She's not your wife anymore!
Why can't you get that
through your thick head?
She's my family.
Chris and Beth are my family,
okay?
And you're not hornin' in.
Chris? You all right?
Oh,
you always had a weak stomach.
Don't take it as a
sign for anything.
I wanna die. Well, yeah,
we discussed that.
And you know,
I personally feel that you must live
to watch me kill Pinky.
Get your arm around
me. Lean on me.
Okay. Here you go.
Now, we're gonna walk it off.
'Cause you got it
out of your system,
and you're gonna be fine.
Watch where you're steppin'.
You've got new shoes on? Yeah.
Oh, God help us.
Cow shit and bull nettle,
you gotta watch where you're going.
Okay,
now I want you to take deep breaths.
Atta girl.
'Cause you're
gonna be just fine.
You just need to
walk and breathe.
Now, listen. Me showin' up
is bound to have made Chris
think about a few things, right?
Now, now,
maybe she's changed her mind,
and she's too afraid to
tell you about it. Huh?
I mean,
are you too chicken to find out?
You're gonna be fine. Oh,
here they come.
Oh, God! It's okay.
Do you have a mint? No. Why?
Are you gonna throw up again?
No. No.
Oh. Here. Here.
Grass. Cows have great breath.
Eat that. Don't let them see.
And just breathe
and eat. That's good.
Here they're coming. So,
just spit it out.
And then turn around. Good.
What?
You have a little
piece of grass.
There, on your mouth.
Could I have a moment
alone with Chris?
That's up to you, Chris.
Okay.
This isn't exactly alone.
Hmm.
Come on, Chris. Give me a break.
Well, I guess you don't want...
No, no,
no. This is fine. This is just fine.
This is fine. I like this
place. This is a great place.
I wanna marry Walt.
No, you don't.
Did you ever,
ever think about what I was doing
when you were off on
one of your adventures?
You were teaching, takin' care of Beth,
doing what you wanted to.
But I was alone! Well,
I could've sent for you.
I don't wanna clean out barns
so I can live on a dude ranch!
I don't wanna cook dinner for 20 guys
with BO so I can experience Alaska.
I don't wanna be a
chambermaid in Bali
so I can hang out on the
beach. I don't want that life.
So you have this life.
We both love each other,
we both have the lives we want.
What's wrong with that?
I know you screw around.
It hurts me.
You don't need me.
I needed you. I put things
off so I can do 'em with you.
You made everything more fun,
you made everything special.
But you don't need
me to feel special.
Honey, I do too.
God!
You know what we gotta
do? We gotta build a cabin.
I was thinkin' about this.
I could get the outside walls up,
insulate it,
do all the finishing
touches in November.
We could be there
by Christmas! Joey.
Look,
I know this is something we talked about
we were gonna do for like ten years,
but face it...
You couldn't stay home.
We couldn't afford it, at first.
And I wanted to do it right,
so I didn't push to get it done
because I wanted it done right,
but, hey, we could, uh...
Get one of those, um...
Home equity loans.
And I could do most
of the work myself.
I'm marrying Walt.
No. Yes!
No, Chris. Joey...
You don't wanna take
my home away from me.
You're my home.
You're my home.
You're my home.
You used our home like a motel.
You don't love me anymore?
No.
Honey, wait up.
What is goin' on around here?
What the hell
happened to everybody?
Okay,
okay. I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
Dad! Dad!
Take me with you, Dad!
Let go of me! Let go!
You always make him go away.
Beth! No!
I've never done that,
and you know it!
Shut up!
Dad!
Dad, come back!
Hey, water. Joey, water.
You see it? There's a creek here,
man!
Joey, come on! There's a creek!
Damn it!
Joey, respect my car!
I don't understand
what's happening here!
I don't know.
Except, you know...
You know women. They
think they can change things.
Make things better.
They always think
things can be better.
Man,
you know. They never let up.
Why do they never
know what we know?
Things are the way they are!
Like my car needs a hose down
'cause it's covered in cow pie.
Joey,
will you look at my car? Jesus!
Did you see Dawn's face, man?
I'm gonna be sleepin'
on the porch tonight.
I promise, after we're married,
to quit gettin' in
so many fights.
Oh, I know what you're
thinking. You're thinkin',
"Walt, you're an animal.
You're never gonna change."
But I'll settle down
and you'll see.
Have fun at your party.
Okay. You animal.
Yoo-hoo! Dawn?
The bride has arrived!
So...
I'm free.
Feels pretty good.
I never have to call home,
never have to go home.
Just go...
Anywhere, any time.
Hey,
I'm not callin' home. I'm not comin' home.
Oh, what a life.
Of course, I still got Beth.
Yeah,
but a kid's not like a wife. Yeah.
Walt can take care of her.
I've seen them together in
town. They get along real good.
Great.
So, I'm free.
You're free.
This guy, one time, wanted me to
work a steamer all the way to Singapore.
That's where? Australia? No,
China.
Of course, I couldn't do it
'cause it was like Chris'
birthday or something.
I'm going with you, man.
One of these times,
okay? You know that.
It's great. You never know
what's around the corner, Pinky.
It's all up for grabs,
and you grab for it if you want it.
You don't have a lot,
but you don't have a lot to worry about.
Just what you wanna do tomorrow.
Ah, you're lucky, man.
Yeah.
I'm lucky.
Maybe a guy
like me doesn't need a home.
Yeah. The world's your home.
Shit.
I guess it's when I
scratch my armpits when I barbecue.
Right? Oh! Oh, no!
No! What?
And your wife said...
Farting in bed.
Pinky farts in bed. Yes!
Pinky farts in bed!
Really intelligent,
well-bred woman.
Now we lost the trip
because of you. Thanks a lot.
Damn. I can't go
on a trip with her.
Look, look, look! Gorgeous.
Beth, come out here and see
how stupid your mother looks.
Chris,
I really like the way this is looking.
Hey, guys,
Walt will love this. Don't you think?
Beth?
Honey?
Please let me in. I
wanna talk to you.
I love you, and Walt loves you,
and your daddy loves you.
Everybody loves you, sweetie.
Beth?
Beth?
Do not turn that shower on.
Beth?
Beth,
don't you dare stand in Dawn's shower!
This is not your house,
and you are wasting water.
Beth? Beth, let me in!
Beth, honey, please let me in.
Please? I wanna talk to you,
honey.
Please don't do this.
Beth.
Act your age, for God's sakes.
Please.
Speech! Speech!
I've been asked to speak tonight
on behalf of one
Walter Humphrey.
But all I can say to you is,
"Tall order."
How can I sum this man up?
Is he indeed a man,
or is he a myth?
Is he a hero, or is he human?
A kind of a god
or just some guy?
Tonight we bid goodbye
to one Walter Humphrey.
Walt the playboy,
the man about town.
Dashing, debonair.
I think you misspelled "debonair,"
Walt.
And we say hello
to Walt the husband,
the homemaker, deeply devoted.
And, I would suggest,
slightly boring.
Walt, may you thrive and continue
giving me discounts at your store.
Walt Humphrey! Yes!
Let's have a speech!
Um, you guys are really great.
What a speech!
He worked on that.
He worked on it.
Really.
I got a question for you. Hmm?
How come you never told me
what was going on around here?
What do you mean?
I mean,
how come I found out about this
when it was too late
for me to do anything?
Man,
I didn't know where you were.
You could've found me.
Joey, you sent me postcards
from places you were leaving.
"Had a great time here,
bud. I'll write you from the next stop."
How am I supposed to find you?
You didn't try real hard,
did you?
Yes, I tried. I talked to Chris.
I'm your best buddy, man. I stood
up for you. Give me a little credit.
You don't even say a good
deal about my new promotion,
my new kid, my new car.
What do you think?
Nothing I do is worth nothing?
This is important to me, Pinky.
This is my family.
It's my marriage!
I know, but God damn it,
what I do is important to me!
You think what I do
doesn't take any guts?
What, you got all the guts?
I got promoted. Jesus,
that takes guts!
You ever say to me, "Good work,
buddy, you got promoted"?
No!
'Cause you never worked anywhere
long enough to get promoted in your life.
Where's the guts in that, Joey?
Huh? Where's the guts in letting
some dog here marry your wife?
Hey, that's my car.
I said, that's my car!
I'm a terrible mother.
Kids don't know
what's best for them.
What if it's a mistake?
I just don't want her to grow
up like I did, with no father.
She loves Joey so much.
Malted milk balls?
Malted milk balls?
Beth? Honey?
Honey,
you want some malted milk balls?
Dawn's got some.
Malted milk balls?
You want us to get you malted milk balls,
honey?
I'll get them. Yeah,
go get some malted milk balls.
They always make me feel better.
I'm gonna check the kitchen.
I'll check the living room.
One day,
Joey streaked the cafeteria,
and then sweet-talked
himself out of detention.
I got three months
just 'cause Joey made me
play in a bra for shirt-basketball.
I mean,
the principal said that I planned it.
No. Joey planned it.
Edna,
what are you talking about?
He is a dickhead.
These are great! They
shove your butt up high!
It drives the guys crazy!
Once, he walked right
into the girls' locker room.
I was naked, I was alone.
I knew he wanted me,
but he pretended like he didn't.
But I knew he did.
Chris and Joey,
Joey and Chris. Give me a break!
Edna.
Football captain, head of cheerleaders,
prom king and queen.
Edna,
you're stinking. Go home and sleep it off.
Edna,
maybe you should go on home.
You know,
you two were like Romeo and Juliet,
and the rest of us
were like Fred and Ethel.
What did love with
Romeo get you?
I got a beautiful daughter.
I got to see most
of North America.
Got to say yes to Michigan,
and I found out the
great American highway...
Really does belong to Buick.
Where's your precious love now?
Will somebody drive Edna home,
please?
Come on,
Edna. I'll drive you home. No.
Beth?
I got malted milk balls.
You look real pretty, honey.
Why can't we go with Daddy?
You got my keys?
You coming in? No thanks.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Relax. Relax.
I'm not here to
cause any trouble.
Walt...
I wanna apologize for
hitting you in the eye.
And I'm sorry I screwed
up your deal at the tent.
I've realized that this is
the way things are gonna be,
and I want you to know
that I think you're a good man.
What are you drinking?
Um, beer.
No, no, no,
no. You need tequila.
I couldn't answer Beth.
It was a simple question.
Why couldn't I answer her?
Honey, you and Joey...
It's not real life.
Sure, you have romance two or
three times a year, when he shows up.
But how that gets you through
the nights when he's gone,
I don't know.
Pinky's not a movie star,
I never thought he was a movie star.
He barbecues on
Sundays in the summer,
and he fries chicken
on Sundays in the winter.
And every Sunday,
I get this feeling in my stomach
that something's
right with the world.
The rest of the week,
I don't know, but,
hey, he's my husband,
I'm his wife.
Maybe you've always
stayed Joey's girl.
Hmm? You're not a girl anymore.
It's late.
You have a wedding tomorrow.
Yeah.
We better clean up this mess.
Oh, Lord. What a mess.
I gotta tell you, Joey,
I never really disliked you.
That 44-yard quarterback sneak
that you ran with ten
seconds left to beat Five Falls,
that was a great night for me.
For you?
Me and Mona Kaeccech.
Wait a minute, Mona Kaeccech?
I never got anywhere with Mona.
Too bad.
You would've liked her.
Wally!
You wild man!
Let her stay. I'll bring
her over in the morning.
Okay.
I don't suppose you've ever
been to the Grand Tetons.
Can't say that I have.
Great little town
called Idaho Falls.
Man, the girls there, Walter...
Beautiful quilts.
I remember lots
of beautiful quilts.
Ever been to Stockholm?
No.
Munich?
No.
Barcelona?
No.
They all have beautiful women.
Gotta go there sometime.
You ought to see them.
Walt?
Walt?
You're a good guy, Walt.
But you still can't
have my wife.
Oh,
God. It's beautiful out here.
Good night. Good night.
You were great with Edna.
Wasn't I great? Yeah.
Dawn, it was fun. It was.
Hey,
I'll bring over your marital toys
sometime when Beth's not around.
Good night! Good night!
Hi.
Hi.
Want a ride?
I'm gonna walk.
Could I walk with you?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Joey.
About what?
About everything.
So am I.
It's not what I
thought would happen.
Not with you and me.
No. Not with you and me.
Hey. Check this out.
We used to do this in my old Pontiac,
remember?
You mean,
before we did it in your old Buick?
Watch this.
Hey, kids! Knees and
teeth together at all times.
Don't pay any attention to him.
I invented some of the things
you're doing in there, pal.
Just go back to what you
were doing. I'm taking him home.
You are so bad, Joey.
Who, me? Sometimes.
Are you taking me home?
No!
Nuts.
So, what about Beth?
She's okay.
She's kind of confused since you're here,
but she likes Walt.
What does that mean,
as long as I'm not around, she'll be fine?
I didn't say that.
It sounded like what you said.
Oh, Joey, Beth idolizes you.
To her, you're a legend.
Just not a great father, right?
She knows you love her.
Walt got pretty trashed tonight.
How do you know?
'Cause I was at the party.
I bought him a couple of
rounds to wish him luck.
I figured he'll need it.
You bought Walt
a couple of rounds?
Yeah. A couple of dozen rounds.
I mean, I don't want him to be in
great shape tomorrow night. You know?
Ah, it's just that I fixed the roof
that summer, and I feel attached to it.
I think we made a winner together,
though.
Yeah.
Cupcakes.
Cupcakes.
See? I ain't that bad a guy.
Nobody said you were.
I was scared to
be alone with you.
There's nothing
to be scared about.
No.
Don't.
Okay. I won't.
Good night.
Sweet dreams.
I guess you could come in,
get some of your things.
Good idea.
Where's that dog?
I put her in the dining room.
Clothes.
You might need
some of your clothes.
Yeah.
I put them in boxes.
Okay.
In the dining room.
The dog!
I love my head right here.
I think this spot
was made for me.
I didn't mean what I said.
What?
I do love you.
I love you, too.
Honey, open your eyes.
This is me.
Me and you.
You didn't have to
sleep on the couch.
Well,
I wasn't ready for your mouth.
What's with you and Joey?
Honey, it's been a long night.
Go to bed. I'm feeding Tommy.
Are you going to work? Yeah,
I'm going to work.
What do you think I'm doing?
I don't know what to think.
Honey.
Did you take all my meatballs?
You got any left? Yeah.
That'd be good.
Rye or roll?
Hmm.
What do you think, buddy?
I'd like a roll.
Roll.
Okay, sweetie. Okay there,
partner.
Let's eat a little,
Tommy. How about it, baby?
Yeah, oh, yes, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like that? Yes?
Don't worry. Daddy's home.
Joey. What's going on?
Joey, you gotta go. Why?
Dawn just called. She's
dropping Beth off any minute.
So? And Angie's coming over
for the final fitting
of my wedding dress.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You don't need a wedding dress.
You told me you loved me last night,
remember?
I do love you, but...
I can't go back to
what we had before.
I don't want that.
I can't.
I can't.
Joey, you gotta go!
I don't want Beth to be any more
confused than she already is. Please.
I could always use another
good drill punch operator.
Kind of repetitive,
but damn good money.
Pays by the piece.
Got anything else?
Smelter, uh,
melting metal in large kettles.
All the overtime you want,
plus, in a year or two,
a shot at metal die-casting.
Got anything in sales?
This dress is for a fat girl.
Honey, you couldn't
possibly look fat. You're a twig.
Angie,
it's a little tight around here.
Gosh,
I got nothing to keep it up.
I'm gonna be
tugging on it all day.
Yeah, right,
Mom. You look great.
'Course, that is the only
part of my dress that fits.
I, uh, just signed up.
Got a job.
Great, man.
Yeah, I start Monday.
Yeah,
well... I'll see you Monday, then.
See you Monday.
What am I gonna do with my hair?
What do you wanna do, honey?
Can I have flowers?
Do you want to have flowers?
A flower girl's gotta
have flowers in her hair.
Well,
you could have flowers in your hair.
Why don't you go take
this dress off? Okay.
What are you doing here?
You're really going
through with this.
Joey...
What if I told you
I was staying?
I got a job at the
plant. I start on Monday.
Honey, you don't wanna do that.
You'd be miserable.
I can do that.
I don't want you to
be miserable for me.
You don't have to make
me any more promises.
Just don't get married today.
Oh, God.
Hi.
What's going on?
Hi, Walt.
Joey. Chris.
Joey just... I got
a job at the plant.
Oh, God.
I'm staying.
Chris, I can't do it this way.
Oh, God... No!
I'm not gonna get
into a contest here.
Seeds.
I love you, Chris.
Walt!
Walt!
So...
You kind of love him.
Don't you?
Kind of do.
It's okay.
I know you love me, too.
Oh!
HI, Joey. Hi.
Hey, Joey. Joey, no trouble.
Stuart. What's he doing?
I hope you catch the bouquet.
Hi, Beth.
Maybelle. Another great dress.
Joey, no. Please.
One dance. Okay?
Okay, just...
You know, not too close.
MRS. What's he doing? Mom,
it's okay.
You boys aren't gonna fight?
There will be no fighting.
This is your day. Mother.
You look very happy.
I am.
It makes me happy
to see you happy.
Ain't that a kick in the butt?
I wanna take Beth for a drive,
say goodbye.
I'll bring her right back, okay?
Okay.
Nice wedding, huh?
Promise me you'll
outlive Walter.
What?
Walt's free to live a healthy,
happy life for as long as he wants.
I just want you to
live a little longer.
Why?
'Cause I'm gonna live forever,
and I wanna be old with you.
Go on. Dance with your wife.
Hey.
I was thinking...
I just wanted you to know that
I could never do what you do.
I know.
So we're even.
Hey, hey.
Send me a goddamn postcard,
all right?
Come on, baby,
let's go for a ride.
I think I'm gonna leave today.
Even if I have to live
with Mom and Walt,
you'll still come to see me,
won't you?
Sweetheart...
I'm your dad.
Nothing's gonna
ever change that.
You're my home now.
And some day...
All this will be yours.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
Hey.
You know what?
We could finish the cabin.
Yeah, you and me.
What?
I could come back this summer
and we could finish this place.
It could be ours.
Dad,
you never make plans that far in advance.
Well, now I do.
What do you say? You
and me. This summer.
Three whole months.
You don't have to
make me promises.
I'll love you anyway.
I'm not gonna make any more promises,
Beth.
I'm just gonna
try and do better.
So, where you going this time?
I don't know yet.
You know, someday,
your mom's gonna
let you come with me.
There's a lot of
places I've seen.
And a lot of places I haven't.
But I think I should save
the best places for you. Huh?
Yeah.
Higher, Dad! I'm doing it!
On that beach...
That day...
This beautiful Tahitian
girl walked up to me
wearing nothing.
Dark brown skin.
Her breasts were...
This girl was completely naked.
She walked up to me,
she looked me
right in the eyes...
I smiled.
She hesitated for
just a split second.
Then she looked
down at the sand,
and walked away.
Her breasts silhouetted
against the golden sun.
Yeah, and?
And that was it.
What are you tellin' us? All
this and you didn't nail her?
I didn't have to.
It was a perfect moment.
Perfect moment?
Jesus.
Son, there's a better way
of dealin' with naked women
besides watching them
walk off into the sunset.
Hey, boys, come on and get it!
I got money and mail!
Hey, Joey, I got one for you!
I got one for you.
That's yours.
And you got two.
Thank you.
And, Joey, there's yours.
Looks like some young lady's
been real
determined to find you.
Is someone gettin' married,
Joey?
Yeah.
My wife.
Pinky!
Huh?
Paul Bunyan's back! Yes!
Hey, you were gone too long this time,
damn you!
You look good, though.
Joey! I gotta show you something,
okay?
I gotta show you.
Now, remember the auto show,
right?
1970, remember? The car?
Pinky, Pinky...
Hey, how was Tahiti?
Joey, I wanted to come over.
I was thinkin' of coming over.
You know, me and you,
wasted on an island,
but look at this,
I got promoted.
That's great.
Listen, I want you to tell me
what's going on around here.
Joey, Joey, listen.
You didn't see my new monster.
Look at him. Doesn't
he looked dazed?
Name's Tommy. I call
him Pinky Junior the third.
Congratulations.
I want you to tell me
how my wife can be
getting married tomorrow.
I mean, uh, it's a joke, right?
Walter Humphrey?
What was he,
captain of the stamp collecting team?
Yeah, but Joey...
I don't think it's a joke, man.
But she can't marry
somebody else.
Well, she divorced you.
She can't do that.
Joey, she did.
All right, look,
I gotta go find her.
I'll see you later.
Okay, okay. Joey,
meet me at the bar tonight, okay?
I'll bring the car.
Howard! Howard.
Hey, Joey. How you doin'?
That's a great shirt!
Listen,
you got a car I can borrow?
Got my mom's Volvo. All right.
I need you to fix the
starter on my Buick.
Can you do that today? Yeah,
I'll give it a try.
Excellent. Keys? In the car.
All right. Tell your mom thanks.
And I'll bring it back later.
Here. Keep the shirt.
Hey, thanks, man.
You know, I'm going to Hawaii
as soon as I get out of high school.
Yeah? Good for you.
Are you growin' a
moustache? Yeah.
Kinda jumps out at you,
doesn't it?
All the
way down! Keep your knees straight!
Come on,
Chuck. Get all the way down to your toes.
Stretch 'em!
Hey, coach. Hey! Hey, Joey.
All right. Come on up.
Yes, sir? Can I help you?
Joey Coalter!
Mrs. Bell.
My favorite little boy.
You spent more time in my office
than any other little boy,
didn't you, dear?
And I so enjoy the
cultural samples
that you send for
Beth to share with us.
My personal favorite...
Boy.
Sorry.
My personal favorite
is the coconut
breastplates from Hawaii.
Like armor. Good
for the older girls.
It's a difficult age.
Chris?
I'm sorry.
I have to find Chris, Mrs. Bell.
Phillip, have you seen Christy?
Yes, ma'am. Try the gym.
We're so happy for Christy.
She just had so nervous a year,
and that Walter really
calmed her down.
Walter is such a
well-mannered boy.
I'd love to chat, Mrs. Bell,
but I really gotta go.
That boy was always in a hurry.
Wendy's asleep.
What kind of a night is it?
Moonlit night.
Moon, go stand behind Wendy.
And the good dog
Nana by her side.
And the crocodile
slowly ticking and tocking.
Tick-tock.
Tiger Lily follows.
Then Captain Hook runs in,
and Tinkerbell...
Whee! And Wendy wakes up.
Oh, God.
Michael!
Hi!
I'm back.
Miss Bowman is in charge.
Oh, dear.
Mrs. Coalter,
we're not done practicing!
Hang in there, Peter.
Hi, Mrs. Coalter.
Good morning.
Chris!
Don't let him follow me!
You guys, quit the horseplay.
We're goin' to play a game.
Take me home!
Please?
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dad!
Dad! Dad!
Hi, baby!
Look at you.
What,
do you grow an inch a month?
Gimme a break. I don't know you.
You're too tall and
beautiful for me to know.
You were gone
too long this time.
I know, honey.
But, look,
I gotta go catch mom and talk to her.
I'll see you after school.
Can I go with
you? I hate school.
Not now. It's real important
I talk to your mom, okay?
I love you.
I'll see you later.
Go play soccer.
Dad?
Goodbye, Mrs. Coalter!
Hello? Dawn? Come over, quick.
He's back.
What?
Oh, God. He's here!
Don't let him in,
whatever you do.
Do not let him
in. I'm on my way.
Okay, okay. Hurry.
Christy! Open the door.
This is not a good time.
Come on, open the door.
Could you come back later?
Damn!
Why'd you want me to come
home if you don't wanna see me?
Who said I
wanted you to come home?
Then why did you
send me a wedding invitation,
if you didn't want
me to come home?
What?
Chris, come on. Open the door.
This is my house, too, remember?
Good boy. Good dog.
Christy!
Damn!
Go away!
Did you cut your hair?
Yeah.
Like it?
It looks great.
Come on, baby,
let me in. We'll just talk.
No. You're staying out there,
and I'm staying in here.
Chris, I promise.
I won't even touch your hand.
I won't even touch your arm.
I won't even touch your neck.
Joey, shut up.
My lips will not go up
and down your spine.
Shut up, Joey.
And I promise not to
lick you behind your ears.
Joey! Shut up!
Oh, come on,
Chris. Gimme a break!
Joey Coalter,
get down from there this very minute!
Dawn? I'm here, honey.
Joey, I swear to God,
I'll call the sheriff.
It's nice to see you, too, Dawn.
Chris...
I'm gonna bust this window in.
Don't you dare bust that window!
It's a brand-new thermopane.
We paid $110 for it.
$110?
Them windows ain't cheap, Joey.
I waited six weeks for it.
And you will not
break the window.
It'll take ten weeks
to get a new one.
Back orders up the
wazoo at Thompson's.
I'm countin' to five. Oh,
come on!
One... It's gonna be a cold winter,
Joey.
Two... Don't you dare break that window,
Joey!
I wouldn't, Joey.
Four... Oh,
it's a goddamn expensive window!
Okay! Okay! I'm not gonna
break the damn window.
You hear that, Mr. Bentson?
I'm not gonna break the window.
Good! I'm gonna bring over
some home-baked cookies.
Stay right where you are.
Chris, honey,
come on. We gotta talk.
No!
I'm finally doing one
smart thing in my life.
And you are not
gonna talk me out of it.
Chris, what are you doing?
No,
Chris! Don't turn on the shower.
Come on!
God damn it!
Daddy!
Honey.
What are you doing
back from school?
Did you get my letter?
What letter?
Mom's wedding
invitation. Did you get it?
Yeah. I got it.
This is the new
bike you bought me.
It's nice. I like red.
Take me for a bike ride?
Not now. This is not a good time,
okay?
Dad, you promised,
as soon as you came home
you'd take me for a
ride. You promised!
Okay!
Okay.
Talk to me,
Dawn. Just say something nice.
- You need a haircut.
- Thanks.
And stay away from Pinky,
please.
We're going for a bike ride.
Cookies? Thanks, Mrs. B.
Chris? It's me.
Chris, it's Dawn!
Where is he?
Look, this is it, okay?
You have to fight
it. Just fight it.
Yeah. Don't let up.
Don't let him near you.
Where is he? He's outside.
Riding a bicycle with Beth.
With Beth? She's
supposed to be at school.
You're supposed to be at school.
I wanna kill myself.
Well, you can't.
You have a wedding tomorrow.
Dead is not sexy
on a wedding night.
I need a cigarette.
Don't let him start
you smoking again!
Bring me a beer!
You know, he's skinnier.
I never noticed his butt before.
You're supposed to be helping me,
Dawn!
Sorry.
Where are my goddamn cigarettes?
They displayed my
papier-mache map
of the United States at school,
and I put stars on all
the places you've been.
I have to come see it.
When?
Hey,
does Joey know I have a baby?
All I want is a family!
A real family.
Yeah, well, you remember that.
Where are my goddamn cigarettes?
Top drawer.
Thanks.
Joey Coalter is not
gonna make me feel guilty.
Don't you dare feel guilty!
Don't let him near you.
I mean,
my God! What does he expect?
Twelve and a half years.
Twelve and a half years.
"Merry Christmas,
honey. I'm goin' to Florida to build..."
A boat. I know.
"Happy Easter! I'll
call you from Arizona."
He's home after six weeks
with rattlesnake belts.
Belts. Pinky wears his.
You know, I figured it out.
Twelve and a half years
is exactly 4,562 days.
He was home 1,137 of those days.
You know, I didn't get
married to be alone 3,425 days!
Oh, my God. What?
Walt!
He'll kill Walt.
Or at least hurt him very badly.
Walter Humphrey
is the best thing
that ever happened to you,
and don't you ever forget that.
The best.
Life's beautiful,
isn't it? Whoo-ee!
Isn't it?
Are you gonna let
Mom marry Walt?
I don't want you to worry about it,
okay?
But, are you?
Would I ever let you down?
You didn't get to
see me in my play.
I bet you were great.
Well,
I kind of blew one of my lines.
Yeah, but nobody noticed, right?
Yeah, wanna bet?
Beth?
Beth, honey,
get your dad off your bike
and head back to school.
Where are you
gonna sleep tonight?
I don't know, but wherever I am,
I'll be dreaming of you.
Beth?
You better go back to school
before your mom gets any
madder than she already is.
See you later, okay? Okay.
Beth, you hear me?
Dad's back, Mom.
So I see.
Go away, Joey.
I am not leavin' until I
get to talk to you alone.
Why? You never
listen to me anyway.
What do you mean,
I never listen to you?
I ask you to do
something for me,
and you just go ahead
and do whatever you want.
You never think about
how I feel or what I want.
God damn it! Why can't you
ever do what I ask you to do?
Joey, do us all a favor, okay?
Go home, Dawn.
I want Dawn here. And I am here.
Which is more than I can
say for you most of the time.
What is it you want me to do?
Go talk to Stuie Haggart.
Oh, he's a turd!
Well, he's my lawyer.
Why do I wanna talk to
some blood-sucking lawyer?
Stuie is not blood-sucking.
No? He tied his sister
buck naked to a lawnmower
and sold tickets to
watch him mow the lawn.
Yeah, and you bought one.
What do you expect? I was 12.
Look. Want me to
talk to Stuie Haggart?
If Stuie has something to say
that has to do with you and me,
then you and me are
gonna go see him. Together.
You and me and Dawn!
No, Dawn's not comin'.
Well,
if Dawn's not comin' then I'm not comin'.
If Chris wants me,
I'm gonna come.
Oh, well, fine,
why don't we have Mrs. Bentson join us?
I'm not comin' unless
Mr. Bentson comes.
I can do that.
Great. Is there anybody
else on the block
that would like to come?
We could turn
this into a field trip.
I'm game.
Cookies?
I follow. I understand,
Mr. Gunderson,
but, in fact,
correct me if I'm wrong...
Isn't cow manure good for roses?
Yeah,
I realize it wasn't your cow,
but to sue your neighbor
for essentially providing
you with free fertilizer.
I do not think you've got
a very strong case here.
Excuse me.
Chris says I'm
supposed to talk to you.
Yeah,
I'm gonna have to get back with you.
And Mr. Gunderson,
could you call me Stuart?
All right. Bye-bye.
This is totally unprofessional!
Get off it, Stuie. Stuart!
In my office,
in a lawyer's office,
when that door is closed...
What is it you gotta tell me?
Hey! Guess what?
It's closed for a reason.
This is a room of confidentiality here,
okay? This is sacred.
I said,
what is it you gotta tell me? Joey!
Let go of the tie! Stuie!
It's Stuart! Stuart!
Show Joey the divorce papers,
Stuart.
All right.
Let's all just... Here.
Let me just... Joey,
you wanna sit down?
No, I don't wanna sit down.
All my clients sit down.
Really? Guess what?
I'm not your client.
Joey,
please. This is how it works.
You know, legal stuff.
You do have an idea what legal stuff is,
right?
God, you're buggin' me, Dawn.
You're really buggin' me. Oh,
I'm bugging you? I like that.
Do you ever think
that you bug anyone?
Okay,
that's it. You're outta here.
Excuse me! I'm with Chris.
This is none of your business,
so get your butt out of
here. Let go of my hand.
Who are these people
I'm yelling in front of?
These are my neighbors.
Cookies?
Just show Joey the divorce papers,
Stuart.
The terms of the divorce.
You don't... Oh, of course not.
What these mean is that you,
Joey,
you no longer
have spousal rights.
You cannot bust
into my classroom
or bust into my house.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Our house.
Uh-uh.
N-O.
The marital property settlement
awarded Christine the house,
the 1979 Honda,
five $100 savings bonds.
You retain the
land at the creek,
the rowboat,
the 15-horsepower motor,
the remaining eight
$100 savings bonds,
the 1969 Buick... Shut up,
Stuie.
Stuart!
Chris filed for divorce.
Under state law,
we then attempted to locate you.
We published her
intentions in the newspapers
for four consecutive weeks.
We received zero response.
She waits. Waits the
mandatory separation period,
at which point
the court enters an
order granting the divorce.
So, there. That's it. Finito.
The marriage is over.
So, you're really pissed?
Why?
Why?
Why?
I'll tell you why!
Beth had the flu,
I had a toothache.
The snake?
There was a snake in the house.
The car died, it was cold,
it rained, the gutters broke,
and I had to sleep
with socks on!
That's why.
Okay,
okay. I guess I stayed away too long.
I guess.
But I was making good
money. I sent you the checks.
I was thinking of bringing
you and Beth out there.
I teach school here!
Here, there,
what's the difference?
"There" never lasts. There's
always another "there."
Beth and I will be "there,"
and you'll be someplace else.
That's why I came home!
Joey...
I didn't do this because you
stayed away longer than usual.
I won't do it again.
Okay?
I promise.
I made up my mind.
No, you haven't.
I love you.
And that's why I can't let
you marry Walter Humphrey.
He thinks he can get to me.
But he can't.
He can't.
Hiya, Trudy.
Joey! It's been a while!
Yeah, I know.
Listen,
you got any of those cupcakes Chris likes?
You mean the strawberry
with the coconut?
Right there, they are.
That's it. I need a whole box
of those delivered to my house.
Can you do that? Sure thing.
But I think it's gonna take
more than a few cupcakes this time,
Joey.
Hey, big guy!
Good to see you again.
Yeah,
all right. As a matter of fact,
I'm on my way to
rehearsal right now,
so I better hurry.
Hey, Walt!
I feel better.
Guess Joey's back.
Rehearsal is starting.
I need everybody in the tent.
Let's move it,
happy people! Places!
Where's the flower girl?
Hey.
Hey!
I'm gonna be your cousin.
You want a hot dog?
Have you bit into it and
slobbered all over it?
Just on this half.
You can have this half.
What are you doin'?
Waitin' for my dad.
I love you.
I really love you.
Well, the only thing I've ever
been interested in is taxidermy.
Oh.
This arcana chicken
is an example of my best work.
I want you two to have it.
Shelley, leave Chris alone.
We have to all go
get in our places.
I wasn't doing anything.
We were just talking,
right? Right.
Talking about life.
Right? Right.
That's what we
were talking about.
Shelley. I'm sorry!
Excuse me,
Mrs. Humphrey... Stuart!
Ow! Shelley!
Thank you. Forgot what I...
Oh! The minister
wants to see you now.
Thank you, Stuart. Stuart!
Stuart!
Shelley uses large
amounts of formaldehyde,
and we wonder about its effects.
I have to go get
things organized,
But I hope your ex-husband
won't be a problem.
Joey knows it's over between us.
Well, we can only hope.
Oh! Isn't this lovely?
Looks like the first
boy that ever kissed me.
Yes. Well...
William! Tucker!
Go wash your hands
and get into place.
You don't let Joey Coalter
within ten feet of you,
you understand me?
He's just like your father.
He'll charm the pants
off you one minute,
and have you cooling
in the breeze the next.
You don't want
to end up like me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Aren't you talkin'
to me anymore?
My dad came home.
I don't know if I can be
friends with both of you.
Well, um,
it's okay with me if it's okay with him.
I'm in the middle
of a nightmare.
What do you mean?
You and me drinkin' here?
Chris! I'm talkin' about Chris.
Oh, that, yeah.
What are you gonna do?
It's not gonna happen.
I'm just havin' a nightmare.
You feel that? Yeah!
Then you're not
havin' a nightmare.
I'm not gonna let this happen.
I gotta find her again.
Joey!
She's at the wedding rehearsal.
With Dawn.
So, let's go!
Okay. We'll take my car.
You ready for this?
You're gonna wet your pants.
What'd you paint
with? Nail polish?
Custom pink. Great, huh?
I'll drive. You always drive!
You be very careful.
Joey!
Be careful!
Joey! There's people there.
Joey!
Walt!
Tell me how it's gonna be again?
We're waiting.
Well, it's gonna be wonderful.
You're gonna be
a wonderful wife,
and we'll have kids.
Yeah, and we'll build a house.
A house...
And you'll teach and
I'll have the dealership,
and who knows what else, huh?
Do you want something else?
A garden.
We'll have a garden
in the backyard.
And in the summer
we'll plant seeds.
Little tiny seeds.
Every day, we'll go out,
we'll check on 'em,
and we'll watch them grow.
Every day,
we'll watch them together.
Every day.
Can we watch them
together every day?
Chris,
I'm gonna be there for you.
Okay?
Walt, when you hear the music,
that's when you and Stuart
come stand to the left of me.
That's your cue, Christine.
No, no, look. Oh, my...
Oh, boy.
Dad!
Hey, everybody. BETH: Dad!
I knew you'd come.
God damn it.
Pinky, what are you doing here?
Joey was driving. I
came along for the ride.
I'll take care of it. oey?
Beth. Beth, come back here.
No. Hello, Maybelle.
Pretty dress. You look great.
Thanks for noticing, but...
Don't think that
means I'm on your side.
Side? Who's taking sides?
Are we taking sides
here? I'm not taking sides.
Joey,
can I help you with something?
I don't know, Walt. Can you?
Can he, Chris?
Joey, we're right in the
middle of something here.
I know that, Walt.
Jesus, a chair.
Pretty scary, Walt.
Awful scary, Walt.
Oh, shut up, Pinky.
Guys,
this is just a little childish.
I don't know,
Walt picked the game.
Joey, just leave right now,
and we'll forget about it.
I guess I got about 100 chairs to go,
honey!
I'll get there!
You're not in high school any longer,
Joey, okay?
Nobody thinks this is high school,
Stuie.
Stuie, shut up!
Hey, Walt. What?
Get him! Get him!
You guys are quick.
Damn it, Joey.
You don't come and
take what you want anymore.
Other people have a say in this,
too.
I wanted to know if Chris had
something she wants to say.
Chris,
do you have anything you wanna say?
Hmm?
Tell these people you
gotta think about this.
Hmm...
Chris?
Oh! See there now. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Mom!
You are gonna leave her alone!
Dad!
I'm sorry.
Chris!
Joey!
Joey!
Joey!
Come on!
Move over! I'm driving.
No, I'll drive. I can drive!
God damn it!
Hey! Hey, folks!
How 'bout everybody
just stay out of this,
leave them alone.
Or does somebody
want cow pie for dessert?
You get that on me,
you'll eat dog food for a month.
Hey, Dawn!
Crazy Pinky.
Okay, fine,
I won't throw cow shit at my wife.
The rest of you,
stay where you are!
Oh, go away, Pinky.
I didn't mean you,
Mrs. Humphrey.
Chris?
You don't own her, Joey.
She's made up her mind.
You gotta respect that.
I don't have to
respect anything.
Oh,
Jesus. Did you hear what you just said?
Love and respect aren't the same thing,
Walt.
And I'm not leaving
till I talk to my wife.
She's not your wife anymore!
Why can't you get that
through your thick head?
She's my family.
Chris and Beth are my family,
okay?
And you're not hornin' in.
Chris? You all right?
Oh,
you always had a weak stomach.
Don't take it as a
sign for anything.
I wanna die. Well, yeah,
we discussed that.
And you know,
I personally feel that you must live
to watch me kill Pinky.
Get your arm around
me. Lean on me.
Okay. Here you go.
Now, we're gonna walk it off.
'Cause you got it
out of your system,
and you're gonna be fine.
Watch where you're steppin'.
You've got new shoes on? Yeah.
Oh, God help us.
Cow shit and bull nettle,
you gotta watch where you're going.
Okay,
now I want you to take deep breaths.
Atta girl.
'Cause you're
gonna be just fine.
You just need to
walk and breathe.
Now, listen. Me showin' up
is bound to have made Chris
think about a few things, right?
Now, now,
maybe she's changed her mind,
and she's too afraid to
tell you about it. Huh?
I mean,
are you too chicken to find out?
You're gonna be fine. Oh,
here they come.
Oh, God! It's okay.
Do you have a mint? No. Why?
Are you gonna throw up again?
No. No.
Oh. Here. Here.
Grass. Cows have great breath.
Eat that. Don't let them see.
And just breathe
and eat. That's good.
Here they're coming. So,
just spit it out.
And then turn around. Good.
What?
You have a little
piece of grass.
There, on your mouth.
Could I have a moment
alone with Chris?
That's up to you, Chris.
Okay.
This isn't exactly alone.
Hmm.
Come on, Chris. Give me a break.
Well, I guess you don't want...
No, no,
no. This is fine. This is just fine.
This is fine. I like this
place. This is a great place.
I wanna marry Walt.
No, you don't.
Did you ever,
ever think about what I was doing
when you were off on
one of your adventures?
You were teaching, takin' care of Beth,
doing what you wanted to.
But I was alone! Well,
I could've sent for you.
I don't wanna clean out barns
so I can live on a dude ranch!
I don't wanna cook dinner for 20 guys
with BO so I can experience Alaska.
I don't wanna be a
chambermaid in Bali
so I can hang out on the
beach. I don't want that life.
So you have this life.
We both love each other,
we both have the lives we want.
What's wrong with that?
I know you screw around.
It hurts me.
You don't need me.
I needed you. I put things
off so I can do 'em with you.
You made everything more fun,
you made everything special.
But you don't need
me to feel special.
Honey, I do too.
God!
You know what we gotta
do? We gotta build a cabin.
I was thinkin' about this.
I could get the outside walls up,
insulate it,
do all the finishing
touches in November.
We could be there
by Christmas! Joey.
Look,
I know this is something we talked about
we were gonna do for like ten years,
but face it...
You couldn't stay home.
We couldn't afford it, at first.
And I wanted to do it right,
so I didn't push to get it done
because I wanted it done right,
but, hey, we could, uh...
Get one of those, um...
Home equity loans.
And I could do most
of the work myself.
I'm marrying Walt.
No. Yes!
No, Chris. Joey...
You don't wanna take
my home away from me.
You're my home.
You're my home.
You're my home.
You used our home like a motel.
You don't love me anymore?
No.
Honey, wait up.
What is goin' on around here?
What the hell
happened to everybody?
Okay,
okay. I'm leaving. I'm leaving.
Dad! Dad!
Take me with you, Dad!
Let go of me! Let go!
You always make him go away.
Beth! No!
I've never done that,
and you know it!
Shut up!
Dad!
Dad, come back!
Hey, water. Joey, water.
You see it? There's a creek here,
man!
Joey, come on! There's a creek!
Damn it!
Joey, respect my car!
I don't understand
what's happening here!
I don't know.
Except, you know...
You know women. They
think they can change things.
Make things better.
They always think
things can be better.
Man,
you know. They never let up.
Why do they never
know what we know?
Things are the way they are!
Like my car needs a hose down
'cause it's covered in cow pie.
Joey,
will you look at my car? Jesus!
Did you see Dawn's face, man?
I'm gonna be sleepin'
on the porch tonight.
I promise, after we're married,
to quit gettin' in
so many fights.
Oh, I know what you're
thinking. You're thinkin',
"Walt, you're an animal.
You're never gonna change."
But I'll settle down
and you'll see.
Have fun at your party.
Okay. You animal.
Yoo-hoo! Dawn?
The bride has arrived!
So...
I'm free.
Feels pretty good.
I never have to call home,
never have to go home.
Just go...
Anywhere, any time.
Hey,
I'm not callin' home. I'm not comin' home.
Oh, what a life.
Of course, I still got Beth.
Yeah,
but a kid's not like a wife. Yeah.
Walt can take care of her.
I've seen them together in
town. They get along real good.
Great.
So, I'm free.
You're free.
This guy, one time, wanted me to
work a steamer all the way to Singapore.
That's where? Australia? No,
China.
Of course, I couldn't do it
'cause it was like Chris'
birthday or something.
I'm going with you, man.
One of these times,
okay? You know that.
It's great. You never know
what's around the corner, Pinky.
It's all up for grabs,
and you grab for it if you want it.
You don't have a lot,
but you don't have a lot to worry about.
Just what you wanna do tomorrow.
Ah, you're lucky, man.
Yeah.
I'm lucky.
Maybe a guy
like me doesn't need a home.
Yeah. The world's your home.
Shit.
I guess it's when I
scratch my armpits when I barbecue.
Right? Oh! Oh, no!
No! What?
And your wife said...
Farting in bed.
Pinky farts in bed. Yes!
Pinky farts in bed!
Really intelligent,
well-bred woman.
Now we lost the trip
because of you. Thanks a lot.
Damn. I can't go
on a trip with her.
Look, look, look! Gorgeous.
Beth, come out here and see
how stupid your mother looks.
Chris,
I really like the way this is looking.
Hey, guys,
Walt will love this. Don't you think?
Beth?
Honey?
Please let me in. I
wanna talk to you.
I love you, and Walt loves you,
and your daddy loves you.
Everybody loves you, sweetie.
Beth?
Beth?
Do not turn that shower on.
Beth?
Beth,
don't you dare stand in Dawn's shower!
This is not your house,
and you are wasting water.
Beth? Beth, let me in!
Beth, honey, please let me in.
Please? I wanna talk to you,
honey.
Please don't do this.
Beth.
Act your age, for God's sakes.
Please.
Speech! Speech!
I've been asked to speak tonight
on behalf of one
Walter Humphrey.
But all I can say to you is,
"Tall order."
How can I sum this man up?
Is he indeed a man,
or is he a myth?
Is he a hero, or is he human?
A kind of a god
or just some guy?
Tonight we bid goodbye
to one Walter Humphrey.
Walt the playboy,
the man about town.
Dashing, debonair.
I think you misspelled "debonair,"
Walt.
And we say hello
to Walt the husband,
the homemaker, deeply devoted.
And, I would suggest,
slightly boring.
Walt, may you thrive and continue
giving me discounts at your store.
Walt Humphrey! Yes!
Let's have a speech!
Um, you guys are really great.
What a speech!
He worked on that.
He worked on it.
Really.
I got a question for you. Hmm?
How come you never told me
what was going on around here?
What do you mean?
I mean,
how come I found out about this
when it was too late
for me to do anything?
Man,
I didn't know where you were.
You could've found me.
Joey, you sent me postcards
from places you were leaving.
"Had a great time here,
bud. I'll write you from the next stop."
How am I supposed to find you?
You didn't try real hard,
did you?
Yes, I tried. I talked to Chris.
I'm your best buddy, man. I stood
up for you. Give me a little credit.
You don't even say a good
deal about my new promotion,
my new kid, my new car.
What do you think?
Nothing I do is worth nothing?
This is important to me, Pinky.
This is my family.
It's my marriage!
I know, but God damn it,
what I do is important to me!
You think what I do
doesn't take any guts?
What, you got all the guts?
I got promoted. Jesus,
that takes guts!
You ever say to me, "Good work,
buddy, you got promoted"?
No!
'Cause you never worked anywhere
long enough to get promoted in your life.
Where's the guts in that, Joey?
Huh? Where's the guts in letting
some dog here marry your wife?
Hey, that's my car.
I said, that's my car!
I'm a terrible mother.
Kids don't know
what's best for them.
What if it's a mistake?
I just don't want her to grow
up like I did, with no father.
She loves Joey so much.
Malted milk balls?
Malted milk balls?
Beth? Honey?
Honey,
you want some malted milk balls?
Dawn's got some.
Malted milk balls?
You want us to get you malted milk balls,
honey?
I'll get them. Yeah,
go get some malted milk balls.
They always make me feel better.
I'm gonna check the kitchen.
I'll check the living room.
One day,
Joey streaked the cafeteria,
and then sweet-talked
himself out of detention.
I got three months
just 'cause Joey made me
play in a bra for shirt-basketball.
I mean,
the principal said that I planned it.
No. Joey planned it.
Edna,
what are you talking about?
He is a dickhead.
These are great! They
shove your butt up high!
It drives the guys crazy!
Once, he walked right
into the girls' locker room.
I was naked, I was alone.
I knew he wanted me,
but he pretended like he didn't.
But I knew he did.
Chris and Joey,
Joey and Chris. Give me a break!
Edna.
Football captain, head of cheerleaders,
prom king and queen.
Edna,
you're stinking. Go home and sleep it off.
Edna,
maybe you should go on home.
You know,
you two were like Romeo and Juliet,
and the rest of us
were like Fred and Ethel.
What did love with
Romeo get you?
I got a beautiful daughter.
I got to see most
of North America.
Got to say yes to Michigan,
and I found out the
great American highway...
Really does belong to Buick.
Where's your precious love now?
Will somebody drive Edna home,
please?
Come on,
Edna. I'll drive you home. No.
Beth?
I got malted milk balls.
You look real pretty, honey.
Why can't we go with Daddy?
You got my keys?
You coming in? No thanks.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Relax. Relax.
I'm not here to
cause any trouble.
Walt...
I wanna apologize for
hitting you in the eye.
And I'm sorry I screwed
up your deal at the tent.
I've realized that this is
the way things are gonna be,
and I want you to know
that I think you're a good man.
What are you drinking?
Um, beer.
No, no, no,
no. You need tequila.
I couldn't answer Beth.
It was a simple question.
Why couldn't I answer her?
Honey, you and Joey...
It's not real life.
Sure, you have romance two or
three times a year, when he shows up.
But how that gets you through
the nights when he's gone,
I don't know.
Pinky's not a movie star,
I never thought he was a movie star.
He barbecues on
Sundays in the summer,
and he fries chicken
on Sundays in the winter.
And every Sunday,
I get this feeling in my stomach
that something's
right with the world.
The rest of the week,
I don't know, but,
hey, he's my husband,
I'm his wife.
Maybe you've always
stayed Joey's girl.
Hmm? You're not a girl anymore.
It's late.
You have a wedding tomorrow.
Yeah.
We better clean up this mess.
Oh, Lord. What a mess.
I gotta tell you, Joey,
I never really disliked you.
That 44-yard quarterback sneak
that you ran with ten
seconds left to beat Five Falls,
that was a great night for me.
For you?
Me and Mona Kaeccech.
Wait a minute, Mona Kaeccech?
I never got anywhere with Mona.
Too bad.
You would've liked her.
Wally!
You wild man!
Let her stay. I'll bring
her over in the morning.
Okay.
I don't suppose you've ever
been to the Grand Tetons.
Can't say that I have.
Great little town
called Idaho Falls.
Man, the girls there, Walter...
Beautiful quilts.
I remember lots
of beautiful quilts.
Ever been to Stockholm?
No.
Munich?
No.
Barcelona?
No.
They all have beautiful women.
Gotta go there sometime.
You ought to see them.
Walt?
Walt?
You're a good guy, Walt.
But you still can't
have my wife.
Oh,
God. It's beautiful out here.
Good night. Good night.
You were great with Edna.
Wasn't I great? Yeah.
Dawn, it was fun. It was.
Hey,
I'll bring over your marital toys
sometime when Beth's not around.
Good night! Good night!
Hi.
Hi.
Want a ride?
I'm gonna walk.
Could I walk with you?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, Joey.
About what?
About everything.
So am I.
It's not what I
thought would happen.
Not with you and me.
No. Not with you and me.
Hey. Check this out.
We used to do this in my old Pontiac,
remember?
You mean,
before we did it in your old Buick?
Watch this.
Hey, kids! Knees and
teeth together at all times.
Don't pay any attention to him.
I invented some of the things
you're doing in there, pal.
Just go back to what you
were doing. I'm taking him home.
You are so bad, Joey.
Who, me? Sometimes.
Are you taking me home?
No!
Nuts.
So, what about Beth?
She's okay.
She's kind of confused since you're here,
but she likes Walt.
What does that mean,
as long as I'm not around, she'll be fine?
I didn't say that.
It sounded like what you said.
Oh, Joey, Beth idolizes you.
To her, you're a legend.
Just not a great father, right?
She knows you love her.
Walt got pretty trashed tonight.
How do you know?
'Cause I was at the party.
I bought him a couple of
rounds to wish him luck.
I figured he'll need it.
You bought Walt
a couple of rounds?
Yeah. A couple of dozen rounds.
I mean, I don't want him to be in
great shape tomorrow night. You know?
Ah, it's just that I fixed the roof
that summer, and I feel attached to it.
I think we made a winner together,
though.
Yeah.
Cupcakes.
Cupcakes.
See? I ain't that bad a guy.
Nobody said you were.
I was scared to
be alone with you.
There's nothing
to be scared about.
No.
Don't.
Okay. I won't.
Good night.
Sweet dreams.
I guess you could come in,
get some of your things.
Good idea.
Where's that dog?
I put her in the dining room.
Clothes.
You might need
some of your clothes.
Yeah.
I put them in boxes.
Okay.
In the dining room.
The dog!
I love my head right here.
I think this spot
was made for me.
I didn't mean what I said.
What?
I do love you.
I love you, too.
Honey, open your eyes.
This is me.
Me and you.
You didn't have to
sleep on the couch.
Well,
I wasn't ready for your mouth.
What's with you and Joey?
Honey, it's been a long night.
Go to bed. I'm feeding Tommy.
Are you going to work? Yeah,
I'm going to work.
What do you think I'm doing?
I don't know what to think.
Honey.
Did you take all my meatballs?
You got any left? Yeah.
That'd be good.
Rye or roll?
Hmm.
What do you think, buddy?
I'd like a roll.
Roll.
Okay, sweetie. Okay there,
partner.
Let's eat a little,
Tommy. How about it, baby?
Yeah, oh, yes, oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Like that? Yes?
Don't worry. Daddy's home.
Joey. What's going on?
Joey, you gotta go. Why?
Dawn just called. She's
dropping Beth off any minute.
So? And Angie's coming over
for the final fitting
of my wedding dress.
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You don't need a wedding dress.
You told me you loved me last night,
remember?
I do love you, but...
I can't go back to
what we had before.
I don't want that.
I can't.
I can't.
Joey, you gotta go!
I don't want Beth to be any more
confused than she already is. Please.
I could always use another
good drill punch operator.
Kind of repetitive,
but damn good money.
Pays by the piece.
Got anything else?
Smelter, uh,
melting metal in large kettles.
All the overtime you want,
plus, in a year or two,
a shot at metal die-casting.
Got anything in sales?
This dress is for a fat girl.
Honey, you couldn't
possibly look fat. You're a twig.
Angie,
it's a little tight around here.
Gosh,
I got nothing to keep it up.
I'm gonna be
tugging on it all day.
Yeah, right,
Mom. You look great.
'Course, that is the only
part of my dress that fits.
I, uh, just signed up.
Got a job.
Great, man.
Yeah, I start Monday.
Yeah,
well... I'll see you Monday, then.
See you Monday.
What am I gonna do with my hair?
What do you wanna do, honey?
Can I have flowers?
Do you want to have flowers?
A flower girl's gotta
have flowers in her hair.
Well,
you could have flowers in your hair.
Why don't you go take
this dress off? Okay.
What are you doing here?
You're really going
through with this.
Joey...
What if I told you
I was staying?
I got a job at the
plant. I start on Monday.
Honey, you don't wanna do that.
You'd be miserable.
I can do that.
I don't want you to
be miserable for me.
You don't have to make
me any more promises.
Just don't get married today.
Oh, God.
Hi.
What's going on?
Hi, Walt.
Joey. Chris.
Joey just... I got
a job at the plant.
Oh, God.
I'm staying.
Chris, I can't do it this way.
Oh, God... No!
I'm not gonna get
into a contest here.
Seeds.
I love you, Chris.
Walt!
Walt!
So...
You kind of love him.
Don't you?
Kind of do.
It's okay.
I know you love me, too.
Oh!
HI, Joey. Hi.
Hey, Joey. Joey, no trouble.
Stuart. What's he doing?
I hope you catch the bouquet.
Hi, Beth.
Maybelle. Another great dress.
Joey, no. Please.
One dance. Okay?
Okay, just...
You know, not too close.
MRS. What's he doing? Mom,
it's okay.
You boys aren't gonna fight?
There will be no fighting.
This is your day. Mother.
You look very happy.
I am.
It makes me happy
to see you happy.
Ain't that a kick in the butt?
I wanna take Beth for a drive,
say goodbye.
I'll bring her right back, okay?
Okay.
Nice wedding, huh?
Promise me you'll
outlive Walter.
What?
Walt's free to live a healthy,
happy life for as long as he wants.
I just want you to
live a little longer.
Why?
'Cause I'm gonna live forever,
and I wanna be old with you.
Go on. Dance with your wife.
Hey.
I was thinking...
I just wanted you to know that
I could never do what you do.
I know.
So we're even.
Hey, hey.
Send me a goddamn postcard,
all right?
Come on, baby,
let's go for a ride.
I think I'm gonna leave today.
Even if I have to live
with Mom and Walt,
you'll still come to see me,
won't you?
Sweetheart...
I'm your dad.
Nothing's gonna
ever change that.
You're my home now.
And some day...
All this will be yours.
Gee, thanks, Dad.
Hey.
You know what?
We could finish the cabin.
Yeah, you and me.
What?
I could come back this summer
and we could finish this place.
It could be ours.
Dad,
you never make plans that far in advance.
Well, now I do.
What do you say? You
and me. This summer.
Three whole months.
You don't have to
make me promises.
I'll love you anyway.
I'm not gonna make any more promises,
Beth.
I'm just gonna
try and do better.
So, where you going this time?
I don't know yet.
You know, someday,
your mom's gonna
let you come with me.
There's a lot of
places I've seen.
And a lot of places I haven't.
But I think I should save
the best places for you. Huh?
Yeah.
Higher, Dad! I'm doing it!