Hard Core Logo (1996) - full transcript

Hard Core Logo (1996)

The director is Bruce McDonald.

The film is Hard Core Logo.

Hey, Joe, what does
the name Hard Core Logo mean?

Logo's a Greek word.
It means "similar."

A sign.

The punk rock Hard Core Logo...

means direct action,
means question authority, means anarchy.

You don't like the world
you're livin'in, you don't
like the answers you're gettin'.

It's like, "Fuck you."
And that's exactly
what we were all about. Fuck you.

Anything else, Bruce,



that we need to cover, to finish?

- How do ya mean by...
- Joe, what do ya... How do ya...

What do you mean by Hard Core?

Move or fuckin' die.

If I want your cigarette,
I will come and get it.

I will take it from you.

But if you were smart,
you'll just give it to me.

Because that way,
it avoids confrontation.

A little while ago, Bucky Haight
got shot on his farm in the Prairies.

Nobody's sure if it was
a Chapman-Lennon thing...

or some kind of stalking thing.

What we do know is he was shot,
and both his legs were amputated.

- Both?
- Both of 'em were.

- I just heard it was one leg.
- I just got the call.



- Both of 'em were amputated.
- I think it was one.

- I just... Johnny.
- Okay, okay, sorry.

Both... Both of 'em...

were cut off just above the fuckin'...
just below the knee.

It's a stump, anyway.
That's what I heard.

And, uh... So, this
benefit concert's for him.

Fuckin' Chapman shoots Lennon, right?
Rock and roll assassination.

Cobain... rock and roll suicide.

Fuckin' Marvin Gaye. The guy's
old man shoots him in the head.

That's fuckin' nice.
Do you know what I mean?

Bucky Haight. That motherfucker
was a fuckin' huge influence.

I love that guy. If it wasn't
for him, I wouldn't be here.

You know what I'm sayin'?

That motherfucker was fuckin' robbed,
and that's what pisses me off.

It's payback time. I owe him.
This is for him.

So what have you
been doing for five years, Joe?

Whatever I want. I don't know.

Fuckin' around.
I get by.

Play a little fuckin' acoustic gig
once in a while. I'm Joe Dick.

People come and see that. This is
different. The whole band's together.

It's not just the Joe Dick Show.
This is a band. This is a gang.

How does, uh,
Pipe contribute to this gang?

When he's not a fuckin' freak of nature,

he's-he's bright and he's
really good at what he does.

He's a tough little fuck
on his own merit, you know.

If there was ever a problem, Pipe would
be in there in a second, and he's nuts.

Uh, so tell me about the last tour.

I know you had some problems
with, uh, Oxenberger.

He's a gang member.
He had some problems.

He had, like, a breakdown,
and he's fine now.

He's still Johnny to us.
Always will be, you know?

If people have problems you don't
abandon them, unless you're a fucker.

So Joe, when was
the last time you saw Billy Tallent?

He got on a plane
to somewhere being a big shot,

so I haven't seen him for a while.

But, you know, I miss him.
He'll be back. Always is.

When he says he's gonna be somewhere,
he's there.

He may not enjoy it.
He'll bitch, but he'll be there.

What are you asking me?

I grew up with Hard Core Logo.
I have all their albums.
I just totally love them.

They're amazing.
You know what I mean?

They're not just people
who are talking about stuff.

They're people who are... who are
making it happen, who are doing it.

Bucky Haight was a really
good friend of mine.

When someone shoots your friend,
you gotta do something about it.

You know, what Hard Core Logo are doing
is a really cool thing.

When Joe Dick contacted me
about a benefit...

for his friend Bucky Haight,

I thought it was an excellent way
to raise awareness about this issue
for younger people.

Joe called me up and said...

he had some record company money to
film a reunion show at the Commodore.

He made me an offer I couldn't refuse.

And, uh, I said,
"I'll be there."

You better leave me alone

You better leave me alone

You better leave me alone

Skanky stupid girls Skanky stupid girls

Castrate me Skanky stupid girls

How are you doin'?

How's it goin'?

Did you just get off the plane?

Art.

Bucky Haight has been shot.

Luckily, he's alive.

But countless others are dead
because our government...

still allows guns to be
purchased in this country.

Make guns illegal!

And now, breaking
five years of silence,

Vancouver's favorite bad boys of punk,

Hard Core Logo!

You people, you're the fuckin' coolest!

You see, I was just lying there,

'cause I saw you cut your fuckin'
ponytails, you stupid fuckin' cunts.

That wasn't very nice.

You'd think there was
a fuckin' punk rock revival on.

You don't know shit
from good chocolate, babies.

I'll fuck you when I say I'm ready

Who the hell you think you are

Rude to the waiter
'cause he looks like me

Who the hell you think you are

Tip the valet to get your Rolls

Who the hell you think you are

Takin' that hooker
to the side of the road

Who the hell you think you are

Who the hell you think you are

Who the hell you think you are

Pour yourself a glass of port

Pour yourself another port

Call your wife a fuckin' bitch
just because you're stinkin' rich

Get back home at a quarter to ten

Who the hell you think you are

Your wife and kids are all in bed

Who the hell you think you are

Pour yourself another port

Who the hell you think you are

Pour yourself another port

Who the hell you think you are

Who the hell you think you are

Who the hell you think you are

Pour yourself a glass of port

Pour yourself another port

Call your wife a fuckin' bitch
just because you're stinkin' rich

Guitar!

Not bad for four guys
who haven't played together in a while.

- Surprised?
- Yeah, I think we won.

- We won too.
- We won.

Jenifur. How serious is this?

Jenifur? It's really fuckin' serious.
It's a big contract.

I filled in for, um...
What's his name? The guitar guy.

- Earl.
- Earl, right,

on the Lollapalooza dates.

And, um, I guess now he's out for good.

So, Jenifur... Jenifur...
Is it a done deal?

It's not done completely. Not yet.
I'm just waiting for some papers.

Waiting for papers, green card,
and then I'm gone.

- You get paid.
- Yeah, I'm makin' money
for the first fuckin' time.

It's much different
than Joe and the boys.

Joe seemed pretty happy you were here.

He seemed a little worried
you weren't even gonna show up.

Well, you know, he's a bitch.

You, you, you, you

Who the hell you think you are

You, you, you, you

Who the hell you think you are

That was hotter than shit, man.

Hey, have a drink, man.

We kicked supreme ass!

Billy, that was fuckin' awesome, man.
That was so great.

- I'm Danny. This is Pete.
- I'm Pete.

- The Flash Bastards.
We opened up for you.
- Yeah, I was watching.

- You did great.
- That was so awesome, man.

- You guys are the shit, man.
- Hey, you're in Jenifur now, eh?

- Uh, yeah, yeah.
- That's cool.

- What happened to that Earl guy?
- He got sick.
I don't know what happened.

- What the fuck?
- Shut up!

He's mine.
I'm going to take him now.

- Joseph.
- Fags.

He called us fags, man.

Hello?

Thank you.

I just wanted to let you
all know that tonight,

we raised just over $20,000.

Bucky Haight!
Bucky Haight!

Okay, well, thanks again.
Party.

Five cities. It's fuckin' easy.

Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg,
Saskatoon and Edmonton.

Okay, I'll go.
I'll go, go, go, go if...

Slow down, freak.

Slow down.
No staying in the vans,

you book hotels,
and we don't stay at any band houses.

Okay, I lost you
after "I'll go."

That's all.
That's what I liked.

And I don't wanna have to baby-sit you.

- I've been both a mother
and a father to you.
- Shut up.

- Fuck off.
- That's not buddies.

That's not buddies.
I got something for ya.

Just so you know
I'm thinking about you.

It's a picture that I got when I saw it.
And it's of you and I liked it.

Put it in a frame and dust it off,
if I can fuckin' find it.

Oh! Got it.

Put batteries in it.

- That's not buddies.
- It's funny, though.

- To me, it's funny.
- When I get back I'm done, right?

- Yeah.
- No, say it. Mean it.

- Say it.
- Okay. "Say it, mean it."

- "Mean it, say it."
- Say it.

- "When I get back, I'm done."
- "When I get back, I'm done."

- That didn't make any fuckin' sense.
- So?

You asked me to say it, I did it.

Anything else you'd like from me?

What are we doing today? Hey!

Where did Billy go?
Where's Billy?

Billy's gone.
Uh-oh. Where's Billy?

Billy...

Man, you scare the shit out of me
when you time-travel like that.

It's good to see you back.
You scared me.

- I'm right here!
- You don't even care when I'm gone.

When you're gone, I look for you.
I make an effort.

I'm gone. Wow, he's gone.
He doesn't even look.

That's not buddies.
That's not a fun game.

You're still a contrary motherfucker.

It'll be fun.

Oh, my goodness.
My life is just so complex.

They can ride that whole punk
nostalgia thing as long as they want.

It'll be a piece of cake
to book the tour.

And with Billy playing guitar
for Jenifur, that's gonna pull
in some more people as well.

Not to take anything away from Joe
and the other guys. They're good guys.

Say they make six Gs,
and they take my 15%,

the van, the food, gas,

hotel, four guys,
3,000 miles, five nights.

At this point,
you do it for love, you know?

John John, it's Joe.

We got an advance from Mulligan,
Billy's in.

So pack your bags. It looks like
we got ourselves a convoy, you copy?

I lined up a van.
I got a great fuckin' deal.

That film crew's coming with us.
They're making a movie about us.

So get a note from Celine, get a note
from your doctor, whoever, man.

Don't blow this.
6.00 a.m. 6.00 a.m. Be there.

November, 5:00 a.m.

Why the hell are two grown men
still calling themselves
Joe Dick and Billy Tallent?

When they gave themselves
those names, they were 16, 17.

The question is, when do they stop
using them? Forty? Fifty? Sixty?

You wonder if they remember
their real selves...

Joe Mulgrew, Bill Boisy.

Then there's Pipe.
Can't even remember his real name.

I used to want a punk handle too.
I just couldn't find one that fit.

It was always John.
John. John Oxenberger.

John, John, John, the bass player.

John from Hard Core Logo.

Maybe I never had a real self
to throw away like those guys.

After a certain age,
it's hard to, uh, make friends.

And I've known Joe since I was 13.

And, uh...

I love him more than
anybody I've met since.

Pipe's a freak of nature.

And John, well,
there's his whole condition.

- Hard Core Logo.
- Yeah, Hard Core Logo.

Which way you goin; Billy

- You think we should wake him up?
- No.

- What do you think?
- No.

Look at this.
I got it off the board at the Commodore.

- It totally rocks.
- How much did it cost?

It takes money to make money, John.

- It's a spur of the moment thing.
- Yeah.

- Boom!
- You did the drawing?

Yeah.

It looks like a bootleg.

- Fuck you it does.
- No, it looks like a bootleg.

Look at the...
It looks like a bootleg.

- It does.
- Yeah.

Fuck you.
It's perfect.

- It looks like a bootleg.
- Yeah, it does.
It looks like a bootleg.

- You wanna know why?
- Why?

Because it's a bootleg.

Well, at the peak of our fame,

we had it all together.

We'd sell a million t-shirts a night.

We managed ourselves. We had great
hotel rooms. We had everything.

Tons of booze on the Ryder, a driver.

You know, it was...
It was working for us.

That was before Ed Festus
showed up and fucked it all up.

Joe brought in Ed Festus to manage us.

Good contacts there,

talk of a, uh,

a major label signing us.

We were a band for 12 years.
We were simply a band for 12 years.

And then we stopped being one.
That's it.

And money caused a lot of tension.

Well, it was like,
we were playing New York City.

It's our last night, right?
Last gig, we're playing New York.

Joe always had a thing
for the grand gesture.

President of Sire Records is sittin'
there, right in front of the stage.

We're halfway through
"Something's Gonna Die."

Joe jumps up on the table,

drops his fuckin' pants...

It's personal.
You had to be there.

And then pisses into
Seymour Stein's gin and tonic...

and then yells into the mike,
"Hey, see if you can sell that,
you corporate weasel!"

I mean, talk about game over,
you know what I mean?

He'd just fuck it up because
he didn't want that next level.
He didn't wanna step up.

There's two different ways
to look at it.

Billy just wants
the models and limousines,

and I'm happy with
the hookers and taxi cabs.

Addiction, um,

is a gamble, and the gamble is that
you're losing most of the time.

And losing is a place
that you're most happy.

For Joe, I think that's...

So what, are you playing us
off against each other?

So that would make you
kind of a cunt, wouldn't it?

It's the best thing
we've done yet, negative boy.

You people, you're the fuckin' coolest.

You see, I was just lying there, 'cause
I saw you cut your...

Fuck!

Hey, are we gonna stop and eat soon?

You fuckin' stopped!

You stopped at fuckin' Herbies!

Turn the fuck around right now, John.

- I'm fuckin' serious.
- You snooze, you lose.

Hey, did I or did I not say,
"When we go to Herbies, wake me up"?

- No!
- Fuck that!

You guys know I love Herbies.
If you don't fuckin' pull
this van over and turn around,

I'm gonna... I'm gonna
fuckin' piss right here.

- You snooze, you lose.
- I'm gonna piss.

- Piss in a bottle, you little piglet.
- Pull over, John.

- Nope. Nope. I'm gonna piss right here.
- John, pull over.

- Keep driving.
- I'm gonna piss right here!

It's gonna blow!
It's gonna blow, baby!

Okay, we'll stop. Pull over, Johnny.

Pull it over.
That's buddies.

Now, sit down, fucking cunt.

My leg!

John, stop the fucking van!

Oh, fuck!
Oh!

- Hey, Pipe, you okay?
- Ah, fuck.

I fuckin' pissed myself.

All I wanted was a fuckin' burger.

Here, baby.
Here's for fuckin' pissin' yourself.

Nice van, Joe.

Fuckin' mook. Covered a hole
with a piece of fuckin' carpet.

Dink.

Fuck that shit!

I'm-I'm okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

- I miss you.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Yeah, okay, bye.

You-You know I do.

Yeah, I love you, okay?

Okay, bye.

Hey, do you have a girlfriend, Bruce?

- Yeah. Okay, cut.
- You should call her.

The tour is gonna be
fuckin' fantastic, man.

I mean, it's ripping.
Our tunes are ripping.

Our set is as solid as a rock.
As long as we can keep...

the fuckin' mentals fuckin' together,

then everything's gonna be great.

This time it's a lot different, because
I think Joe's not such a dick anymore.

He's still spittin'
in my face all the time.

I'm gettin' used to
that spit thing, you know.

I think we're gonna go
all the way with it this time,

unless he dies in a bizarre gardening
accident or something like that.

You know, I see, like, if we can get
successful, it's, like, "L-L, "man...

limos and Lear jets.

That's what I want...
limos and Lear jets.

I think Joe's a little let down...

that Billy's leaving.

'Cause, you know, Billy's got
bigger and better things to do, right?

I don't know. He's a good shit.
He's got his shit together.

Because obviously, he's got
something going on after this.

I don't have fuck all.

I'd say keep the whole thing
together really, basically.

I mean, I'm a little bit of an asshole
sometimes, because they're all pricks.

That's the way it works, though.
Keeps each other on our toes.

Pipe, load in.
Billy, tune the strings.

John, you draw up a set list.

- And what are you gonna do?
- Manage.

The West is the best!

I don't need anyone

Don't need no mom or dad

Don't need no pretty face

Don't need no human race

I got some news for you

Don't even need you too

I got my damn machine

Got my electronic dream

Sonic reducer ain't no loser

Sonic reducer ain't no loser

November 6, 3:00 a.m.
The time when most people die.

Calgary's the same as ever. Big,
friendly, smiling, beef-eating faces.

Good faces here. Better than L.A.
with its "Go for it" stoner faces,

or Toronto with its
smug little rat-race faces,

or Montreal with its
separatist chain-smoker faces.

I always felt welcome here.

They are nonjudgmental faces.
They do what they're told.

Things will be different then

The sun will rise from here

Then I'll be ten feet tall

And you'll be nothing at all

I got my damn machine

Got my electronic dream

Sonic reducer ain't no loser

Sonic reducer ain't no loser

Sonic reducer ain't no loser

Sonic reducer Sonic reducer

Sonic reducer

Yeah.

So how did the whole thing
with Jenifur come about?

When I first got down to L.A.,
I was jamming with Trevor. You know him.

- Yeah.
- And then Earl got sick,
and I filled in on a couple dates.

So officially,
you're part of the band...

- No, not yet.
- Or you're just a hired hand?

Uh...

- Um...
- What are we talking about here?

- Are you recording
with their next record too?
- What are we talking about here?

- Hey, I don't know.
- Ask some more Hard Core Logo questions.

Okay. Joe Dick,

you once said the music industry
was the stupidest, sleaziest,

most boring business
in the entire world.

- Still feel that way?
- Yes, I do.

The music industry, not the music.

Rock and roll is a fuckin' sales tool.

It sells beer, swimmin' pools
and movie stars.

So, uh, I read an article...

where Ed Festus calls you one of the top
five thrash guitarists of all time.

Ed Festus has Bill Tallent
in his hip pocket.

- Does that bug you?
- Mmm. Mm-hmm.

In fact, I hate it.
Could you change the subject, please?

Ed Festus said you two...

fought like some tanked-up white trash
married couple in a trailer park.

Well, some of that's true.

But that's what makes our music
and our art great.

- All right.
- I suffer for his art.

That's what keeps you honest.

So, Mr. Dick,

does Hard Core Logo have a future?

Mm-hmm.
Yes, it does, Tiffany.

- Could you do me just one favor?
- Sure.

Can you fuck off?

You're good with people.

Fantastic.
Chicks dig it.

- You love it.
- I think that went well.

It felt good.

So how are you gettin'
to and from your rehearsal spot?

- Uh, limo.
- Limo?

No way!
Are you serious?

What's the rehearsal place like?
I bet ya it's plush.

- Totally. Yeah?
- Big.

- Yeah, and downstairs the Chili Peppers.
- No fuckin' way!

You rock star motherfucker.
I bet you soon it's gonna be like,

"Pipe, I can't talk.
My accountant's on the line."

"I got this babe
in a bikini cleaning my pool,
and I can't make it to the phone now."

Or, "I gotta meet Courtney Love
for dinner," or something like that.

So what do you think about Courtney Love
and a little bit of love?

Sorry, Kurt.
Sorry, wherever you are.

Anyway, if your drummer
ever loses his penis,

you know who to call, right, baby?

Yeah! Ooh.
Love you, man.

I'm tired of waking up tired

Waking up tired Waking up tired

I'm tired of waking up tired

Waking up tired Yeah, waking up tired

I'm tired of waking up tired

Um, Touch of Evil.

La Dolce Vita.

- Alphaville.
- Uh, Lolita.

Alphaville ends in an "E."

Uh, I've got one for you, buddy.

Eraserhead.

Uh, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid.

Unless they're from Seattle.
Dead Ringers.

Um...

Spinal Tap.

Spinal Tap.

- Um...
- Parenthood.

The category's cool movies,

- Not dumb-ass movies, Alex Trebek.
- Retardo.

Good one, Bruce.

- So, you got one?
- Um, "P."

The Passenger.

- It starts with a "T, "not a "P."
- Passenger. The Passenger.

What's the difference, anal man?

- Okay, I'll let that one go.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome. You're welcome.
- Thank you.

- Rosemary's Baby.
- Oh, that's a fucker.

Uh, "Y."

Yentl. Youngblood.

- Um, Young and the Restless.
- That's a soap.

Stop it.
Fuck, man, I can't think.

- You okay for driving?
- I'm good.

- Are you okay for driving?
- I'm good!

- Young At Heart.
- What's that?

Uh, it's Doris Day and Frank Sinatra.

He's a lounge singer.
He's drunk and he's depressed.

He marries Doris because
he's in love with her.

But then he feels
he doesn't deserve her love,

so he smashes his car up.

- I think I saw it. Does he die?
- Of course he...

No, no, he doesn't.
He marries Doris,

and they live happily ever after
and it's beautiful.

Fantastic.

November 6. It's Gary Cooper time.

High noon.
Had my flying dream again last night.

I'm free riding the thermals
over a rocky beach and whoosh,

all the air gets sucked out of the sky
by some god with a straw.

And I fall, watching the rocks grow
larger below rushing up to meet my face.

And I know if I hit them,
I'll never wake up.

I know I'm going to feel
my teeth breaking into my mouth,

and my skull shattering
and my brain splashing...

like wet clay into the tidal pools.

As I fall, I know
this is no benign passing...

from one world to a better one,

but a jolt of unimaginable
and pointless pain...

before a total and finial negation
and erasure of all that I am.

So I figure I'd better wake up.

All told, a shitty night's sleep.

Joe hasn't slept in something
like 32 hours.

Probably scored some blow.

You'd think he was
hauling a cross or something.

Hey, John, what's that writing shit?

- Hey?
- Nothing. Road stories.

Bullshit.

Freak.

I write to try and keep my head clear.

It's good, and sometimes...

I'm afraid I'll forget things.

What would happen if you forgot things?

Then I would be lost,

and no one could find me.

Well, we've been to London
and we've been to L.A.

Spain, New Zealand
and the U.S.A.

Europe, Japan and Pago Pago

Canada, Siam, Oz and Kamoto

The kids all come from miles around

The party gets started
when the sun goes down

And Holiday Inn's
the only home I know

I know, I know, I know

Rock and roll's alive 'cause
we got the power, baby

Cruising down the highway
at 500 miles an hour, baby

We got a fuel-injected tour bus
Man, it really flies

With a videotape deck inside

Let's go, rock and roll
Everybody, come on

Let's go, rock and roll
Everybody come on down

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring Oh, baby

Touring

Especially with your favorite girl

Touring, touring
all around the world

Can you back up a bit?
I can't focus on you so close.

- Sorry, sorry. Here?
- Wait.

Oh, it's Celine.

I keep her here so that I can see her
in the morning and the night.

- That's handy. Pretty woman.
- Yeah.

Yeah, I saw you
looking at her at the beach.

What else you got in there?

- John?
- Yeah. I, uh...

Are you okay?

I can't find my prescription.

- Your pres... Your pills?
- Yeah.

I can't come to the phone right now.

I'm eating corn chips and masturbating.
Please leave a message.

Billy boy, Ed Festus here.

Listen, bad news, buddy. Earl's out of
rehab and he's raring to go.

Looks like he's in and you're out.
Should've stayed in L.A., man.

What can I say?
That's life in the big shitty.

Love to Joe. Later.

There's nobody fuckin' out there.

Like, 20 people nobody
or nobody nobody?

- Empty!
- I don't fuckin' care.

I'm not going on until
there's at least 20 people in this club.

- Isn't this the only club?
- What did I just say?

I'm not going on until there's
at least 20 people in this club.

Are you all right, Bill?

Bill, are you all right?

- Did someone die?
- Where's the fucking promoter?

He's gonna lose money.

- I th-th-think the owner's...
- What the fuck do you care
about money?

What's the fucking problem?

- Can you keep that off me?
- What the fuck is that?

Serenity, man.
Serenity.

Has any of you...
Have you seen my pills?

N-N-N-N-No, I haven't
seen your p-p-p-p-pills.

I'm sorry.
I haven't seen your pills.

Yeah

I got my foot in the gutter
and I know I'll make a mess out of you

Yeah

I got my foot in the gutter
and I'm gonna make a mess out of you

Yeah I got my foot in the gutter

I'll make a mess out of you

Let's hear it for
Mr. Billy Tallent,

the heart and soul
of the Hard Core Logos.

Don't spray, Dad. I can't hear you.
Your mouth's full of shit!

Yeah, come on up here, tough...

You wanna mess with me, you're gonna
have to go through my right-hand man,

Mr. Billy Tallent.

Thank you, William.

I got a bullet in my pocket
like I'm bona fide

I'm saving it up

For the right occasion

I like the night
It feels pretty good, all right

All I gotta do is get me a gun

Stick it in the barrel Step outside

There'd be no peace
There'd be no fight

Someone's gonna die tonight

Mary!
How you doing?

- Oh, you know, I'm still here.
I'm living my life.
- Uh-huh.

I don't think you've met my husband,
have you? Evan, this is Joe Dick.

- How are you?
- Pleasure to meet you.

And this is our daughter.

Hi, sweetie.
Hi, sweetie.

What's your name?

Uh, Billy.
She's not usually so shy.

She looks scared.
Doesn't like the monster.

- Anyway, you guys sound great.
Better than ever.
- Seriously?

- Oh, come on. It-It-It... It was crazy.
- Whoa.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

- Then she gets a shirt.
You want a t-shirt?
- Hey!

- It's my band. Use that voice.
- Say "thank you."

- The best rock and roll band
in North America.
- Say "thank you, "Billy.

- Nice meeting you.
We'll see you. All right.
- Hey, thanks, Joey.

- Mary.
- Hey! Come on. Give me a hug.

Hey, how'd you get this...
this sexy scar on your hand?

Well, I, uh,

fell on a case of empties.

Well, hello,
Mr. Sandwich Man.

- Hello, little girl.
- Hello.

Are you gonna eat me, little girl?

- I don't know.
- Are you gonna eat me, Pipefitter?

Oh, yes, my friend.

I am going to eat you.

Billy, save me! Aah!

No, I'm Billy.

Your name is Billy?

Anyway, Joe pops Billy on the side
of the head when he's not looking,

and Billy flushes
Joe's stash down the toilet.

And then, they just
started wailing on each other.

We didn't even make the stage.
Major disaster all the way around.

- They were fighting over movies?
- No.

That was just how they dealt
with the real issue,

which was Joe fucking Billy
up the ass the night before.

What?

Probably out of spite.
I wasn't there.

Maybe it was a bet
or a competition they had,

or maybe they were trashed...

and Joe nailed Billy
when he passed out.

Anyways, it's vague.

What-What's your name?

I'm Mary.

Every town, man.

There they are.
Let's see.

Joanna and Tracy.

Prairie girls, born and bred.

Finished high school together,
hightailed it right here
to the big smoke.

And they share a basement
apartment with eight cats.

Joanna did a year at Wascana College.

Got bored, smoked dope.

Now she works the Orange Julius stand
at the fucking Northgate Mall.

That's okay, 'cause she's got her eye on
that cute guy who works at Le Chateau.

But she's worried that her friends
will think that he's a homosexual.

Tracy there, with the Karla Homolka
hairdo, works right here.

Tonight's her night off.
But that's cool too,

'cause all her friends are right here.

See the old guy in the hat?
That's Virgil King.

He used to work his daddy's farm.

Forty years of sweatin' shit.

The recession hit.
Kids left,

he started drinking, his wife left,
lost the whole deal.

Found God, lost God, kept drinking.

Now he just... waits.

Anyway, this Jenifur thing...

I've got no problem with you
going down there. You record and tour.

The rest of the year you spend with us.

Jenifur's your side gig.

You can do whatever the fuck
you want. That's our policy.
Has been, always will be.

- Did you ever sleep with Mary?
- What?

- Did you ever sleep with Mary?
- No.

I fucked her in the back
of the van, though.

Fantastic.

Five, six years ago, last tour?

Way longer than that.

Um, are you guys in a band?

Yes, we are.
Snow Axe.

I'm Pipe Feltcher,
and this here is John.

- And you are?
- Good looking.

- Working.
- Bonus.

- No, no, no, no.
- Turn that off.

Where are you going, Billy?

Uh, bank machine to get some money,
pay the hotel bill.

What's wrong?

Uh, Joe, fuck-head that he is,

partied with Thelma and Louise,
and they fucked off with our cash.

- So you don't have any money?
- No. You got any money?

- No.
- You got a smoke?

Thanks, man.

Welcome to the old days.

Fuck.

Closed.
I don't fucking believe this.

- Joe, what the fuck is this?
- It wasn't fucking closed last week
when Mulligan booked it.

So shut your fuckin' mouth.

Looks like their license was revoked.

Fantastic. What are you gonna
do now, Joe, manage?

Do yourself a favor, Billy,
and fuck off.

So, uh, what do we do, uh, now?

Last night I sold fuckin'
20 t-shirts and made 100 bucks.

And then you fuckin' lost it,
so shut up!

Look, Pipe Feltcher, I've told you
five times that I'm fuckin' sorry.

So you shut the fuck up!

Um, I tell you what.
I got a proposal for you.

You take all the money I got,

and then the next fuckin' place we stop
by, you can just give it all away.

You cheap fuck.
You must have some money,

'cause you've been hogging down
the deli trays and you can't be
spending your per diems on food.

Oh, so I suppose you want
your per diems back now, Mr. So and So.

- Fuck, you're an idiot.
- Well, you're a kook.

- No, you're a fuckin' idiot.
- And you're a kook.

- You gave him your per diems.
- You gave him your per diems.

- No, I love it. It's cool.
- What? What?

Los Angeles!

Billy fucking Hollywood.
Billy fucking Hollywood.

- Billy Hollywood. See ya, Slash.
- Yeah!

- See ya, Slash. Rock on.
- Yeah!

- More! More! More! More!
We want Billy!
- Rock on.

- We want Billy!
- Call 911. We hurt his feelings.

Go nuts, Slash.
Go nuts, Slash.

Me and Billy decide
everything about the band,

- Oh, fuck.
- About the way this
thing's shot, everything.

- We decide fuckin' everything.
- Yeah, we're just the roadies.

That's basically it
and everything you do.

See, we have positions
we call "the band."

- Number one, number two.
- We gotta unpluck his underwear for him.

Which is basically the same thing,
and then three.

- Four's cool, but three's fuckin'...
- Five is Zeak Street.

- He doesn't wear any underwear.
I forgot.
- If we're makin'...

If we're makin' movies,

Feltcher would be an extra,
put it that way.

- Ho number one after that.
- There is no such thing as that for you.

There's only one number one...
always will be, always have... me.

But number two, they kind of coexist,
so there's no big deal.

Anger only works for so long.

You can only be angry for so long,
and then you get, uh...

It-It turns in on yourself,
and you're a bitter man.

You become a bitter man,
and that's no place to go.

- You know what I mean?
- I think so.

- Yeah?
- I think so.

You need people around you
to tell you where you are.

Well, 'cause people
buy the shtick, right?

You're angry, everybody gets angry.

It looks like it's about the music,

but people buy into the anger
of it rather than, you know...

I have fun doing it.
The band has fun doing it.

But we're not all just, like, angry...

Joe's angry, but I'm not as angry
as I used to be.

I don't care to be.

You're not jealous
at all of Billy's, uh...

A little.
Quite honestly, a little.

But I'm jealous that
he's playing with somebody else.

I'm not jealous of the money
trip or the fuckin' fame.

- So, uh...
- That's not what it's about.

So what are you gonna do
when you're 45?

Well, it depends on how far
my alcoholism goes.

If I stop drinking and my liver's not
a colostomy bag to match my shoes,

then I'll probably be okay.

I've got it together now.
This fuck...

This gig at the Commodore
will be a great gig.

Still be playing in a rock and roll band
when you're 45?

I'll still be writing songs, you know.

And if Billy's into it...

and if John and Piper are around,
I'll be doing it.

And if they're interested,
they'll be doing it with me.

And if not, we'll see what happens.

S-Sometimes,
when you-you look in the mirror,

you-you wonder...

what it would be like
if I were honest...

every moment for the rest of my life.

Save it for your group sessions, John.

N-N-No, Joe.

Let's be honest.
Y-Y-You'd be nowhere without Billy.

You're just too much
of a coward to admit it.

Profound words
from Ernest fucking Hemingway.

A-A-And Billy,

if you were honest with yourself,

you'd admit that the Jenifur gig
has been canceled.

- John, shut the fuck up!
- What?

- A-A-And Pipe?
- What?

What's this about Jenifur, Bill?

- This is just a last tango
before a lifetime spent...
- Bill?

As a garbageman.

Oh. You know what you are?

Oh. You know what you are?

You're a schizo, man. You're on
a holiday from fucking lithium.

You belong in a fucking straight jacket.

What's this about Jenifur, Bill?

What's this about Jenifur, Bill?

Hey! Stop that fuckin' shit!

Johnny!

You don't know shit
from good chocolate, babies.

Kick the fuck back!

Okay, let's get a few
things in the open.

Pipe, the hotel guy in Regina called.

You shit on the fuckin' pillow, wiped
your ass with the fuckin' bedspread.

Hey, you know, that's uncool. I don't
get that. What the fuck is that?

- Didn't have no toilet paper, man.
- No, that's nuts.

Johnny?

Your fuckin' writing is nuts.

You're not taking your medicine. You're
fuckin' fueling something dangerous.

- What do you know about danger?
Danger, Will Robinson.
- Johnny, I'm trying to help you.

- Danger, Will Robinson.
Danger, Will Robinson.
- Johnny, I'm trying to help you.

- I'm trying to help you!
- You gotta relax!

We got three days left,
and you gotta chill.

I'm your friend and you gotta chill.
You must listen to me.

Hey, what about Billy?
Doesn't he get a little spanking too?

That's true, that's true. Bill,
I guess we can can the rock star shit.

- What are you gonna do?
- No! I'm just saying
we can can the rock star shit.

- Fuck-up.
- That's all. Thanks.

You're a major fuck-up! You fucked up
last night, got our money ripped off!

You fucked up four years ago! You go
out of your fucking way to fuck me!

Is that honest enough for you,
Mr. Write It In His Journal?

- And fuck you too!
- Oh, fuck you, Mr. Rock Star No More.

No more rock star.

- Fuck you.
- Well, where do we go now?

Saskadelphia. Saskatoon.
Whatever.

- We got two nights to kill.
- I'm not stayin' in the van.

Hey, why don't we stop by
Bucky's place, man?

- The motherfucker's laid up. We can't.
- We'll just phone him.

- He doesn't have a phone. Let's go.
- Then we'll stop in.

A little hero worship from
the great fucking Joe Dick.

Do him a world of good, huh?
Don't you think?

- Yes. Yeah.
- Don't you think? Don't you think?

Yeah.

Who the hell you think you are

You, you, you, you

Who the hell you think you are

You, you, you, you

Who the hell you think you are

You, you, you, you

Who the hell you think you are

Thank you.
This next one's for Bucky Haight.

Man's got no legs because some
fuckin' psycho with a fuckin' shotgun...

hunted him down like an animal
and blew his fuckin' legs off.

Yeah!

Um...

The first time I met the Bucky Haight...

was in the Dick's kitchen.

Um,

he was singing
the smartest songs I ever heard.

And Joe just idolized him.

I think he's a dink.

I always tried to get Joe
away from him musically.

I taught Joe, you know,

your Townshend, you know, whatever.

Just the classics.

And the only music that, uh,
influenced Joe Dick...

was, uh, Bucky Haight.

To me, anyway, he's like...

he's like a classic... like a member
of the Rolling Stones almost.

A lot of people
really haven't heard of Bucky.

I know. See?
That's what I mean.

It's like, the guys who get famous...

talk about people
who got them on the road,

and those people are nothing.

Well, like, you know,
will a big rock star...

cut their inspirer a check?

No, I don't think so.
They'll just talk about him.

It doesn't pay the fuckin'
bills though, does it?

Bucky!

Good morning.

Dick Joe, Bucky's still got...

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut up!

Fuckin' Chapman shoots Lennon, right?
Rock and roll assassination.

Cobain... rock and roll suicide.

Fuckin' Marvin Gaye. The guy's
old man shoots him in the head.

That's fuckin' nice.
Do you know what I mean?

Bucky Haight. That motherfucker
was a fuckin' huge influence.

I love that guy. If it wasn't
for him, I wouldn't be here.

You know what I'm saying?

That motherfucker was fuckin' robbed,
and that's what pisses me off.

It's payback time. I owe him.
This is for him.

Okay? Can you shut
that fucker off?

So is Bucky...
Is Bucky in on this too?

We gotta get
a fuckin' microphone in there.

I'm not getting much.

Okay, hold on.
Bruce, look at this. Check this out.

This is cool.

There he is.

Fucker.

I kind of bullshitted you about...

Bucky's legs, as you can see.

But, fuck, Billy wouldn't have gone
for any of this shit if I hadn't,

so I locked in.

- So you used
the benefit money for this?
- Yeah.

- It bought all your fuckin' film stock.
- What about the record...

- Shh!
- What about the fuckin'
record company money?

I fuckin' lied.
Bucky's got his legs back.

Cheer up and chill out.

Anyway, time to get off the coaster.

Down to Austin,
recorded "Blue Tattoo."

Got picked up by a big one.
Small, but English independent.

But I was still under contract
to the label, and they sued me.

The fuckers sued me,
and my record was recalled.

It sat around in vaults till
I didn't give a fuck anymore.

Last time I saw you at CBS,

I was hyping two bills a day.

Got so bad after you left,
I started into blood transfusions.

Everyone I met...

sucked up to me.

All my friends...

dead or dying.

Then I got the hepatitis,
came back home.

You know, Joe,

you start with these riffs
in your head...

and something you wanna say.

And you wanna spin gold,
but the thing is...

people don't want your sounds.

They only want...

They just fucking use you.

Know what I'm saying, Joe?

Well.

Cheer up.
I made half that shit up.

Who wants another drink?

- What's your name?
- Bruce.

- Do you want a drink?
- I'm all right, thanks.

I'm all right, thanks.
Look,

are you gonna sit around
in my kitchen being boring,

or are you gonna do
something interesting?

Are you a real filmmaker or are you
a journalist? Some kind of hack?

No, it's not funny. Shut up.

I mean,

there must be something interesting...

that five really cool, able-bodied
guys and a great filmmaker...

can come up with.

What do you think, Brice?

Okay.

It's a joint venture, so everyone
gets a copy of the contract.

- Two for you.
- Sweet.

- Two for you.
- Thank you.

Two for you.

Two for you.
Two for you too, Brice. Don't be shy.

Danny, we're all in this together.

Where's Naomi?

Naomi!

- You too, Joe.
- Oh, thanks, man.

That's right, John.

Right on the dotted line.

Adios, my friend.

Good morning. This is C.B.C. Radio.

Walk towards the light.
Walk towards the light.

The social contract of my inner self...

Joe?

I'm sorry.
Keep going.

Wish I'd found you before Joe did,

the way you play.

Keep it.

It's yours.
No sense in...

it lying fallow around here.

Asshole.

I killed the fucking goat.

Pipe, we all drank its blood.

- I-I only have one...
one word for this.
- What?

Blasphemy.

Joe, it was good seeing you.

- You have a good time?
- Yeah, I had a riot.

I live out here because
I got sick of being used.

I don't wanna see anybody
that ever used me ever again.

When I heard how you used me...

- I was gonna...
- Put it this way.

Ever back this way,

don't drop in...

ever.

Must be the amazing
healing powers of this place,

- You know, Bucky up and walking again.
- Shut up.

That's not buddies.
Hope you don't do time for the benefit.

Just fucking feeding the legend, baby.

- You still fucking mad at me, Bruce?
- Fuck you!

Shut up, John.

Whoo!

Hello, Saskatoon,
we're the Hard Core Logos.

This next one is for
the late, great king of punk,

Bucky Haight, who died
last night in New York City.

You had no time for corruption

You felt the world was an unsafe place

You work towards a solution

A blue tattoo

A blue tattoo on the soul of love

A blue tattoo

In the shape of a heart

A '59 Strat.

- Really nice. Yes.
- Yeah, really nice.

- You play guitar, right?
- You know, so-so.

Off and on?

You started out as a documentary
filmmaker, right? I heard that.

- Yeah. That was the good old days.
- Yeah?

Kind of bringing it all home.
That is a classic, classic guitar.

You should get up on stage with us
sometime. Can I come back into this?

Yeah, yeah.
Cut it.

Keep it rolling.
Keep it rolling, Danny.

Joe, is he still wired?
Is he wired?

If Bruce ever uses that fuckin'
shit with Pipe, then that
fuckin' goat Pipe is fucked.

- As if Pipe's ever gonna
get a bank loan anyway.
- Very true.

Look, I'm 35 years old next week.

If I play this club one more time,
I'm gonna fuckin' shoot myself.

What's up with you after this tour?

Do I have plans?
I don't know. I'm...

- What about me and you?
- I thought you were gonna bring
me up here and apologize.

No, I was going to apologize.
I was gonna say sorry...

that fucking Ed Festus fucked you over
again for the second time.

- You were gonna do that, but you didn't.
- No, I didn't.

What are we gonna do?
You and me?

You and me?
What's Pipe and John...

Fuck Pipe and John. John's talkin'
a line to his fucking coke.

Pipe fucking pops a Pop Tart.

- Pipe's fucked.
- Okay, okay, okay, okay.

- So you want you, me, you, me.
- Bingo.

Okay. New deal, though.

- Music, no coke. You wanna hang out
with fucking coke heads...
- Use your head!

- Keep your fuckin' voice down.
- I want the music. Music!

Done.

I love you.

Joe Dick, singer, songwriter.

Joe Dick, singer, songwriter.

Billy Tallent, guitar player.

Pipe Feltch...
Pipeftter.

Drummer.

Fuck you.

John... John Oxenberger,

songwriter, bassist, backup vocals.

Let's go to fuckin' Hawaii
Get drunk in the sun

I wanna lay in Waikiki
Get a tan on my buns

Runnin'from the rains
Thousands on the run

Making like the rich
Heading for the fun

Let's go to fucking Tahiti
Get tans on the beach

Runnin'from the rains
Thousands on the run

Making like the rich
Heading for the fun

- Cheese Gun.
- Snow Axe.

- Life Snow Picnic.
- Church of Worms.

Category is Fake Canadian Bands.

Okay, Faster Leonard Cohen, Die Die.

Sled Dog Afterbirth.

You're the king, Pipe. Joe?

MacArthur Parka.

Let's go to fucking Hawaii

Let's go to fucking Hawaii

Running from the rain
Thousands on the run

Making like the rich
Heading for the fun

This is a band house,
which basically means that...

touring bands stay here 'cause it's
cheaper than putting 'em up at hotels.

I get free room and board to look after
the place and cook the odd meal.

- I'm a student, so it's a pretty good deal for me.
- That's great.

So, Mulligan called.

We got third billing,
30,000 people. It's a huge gig.

- Uh, when?
- Three weeks.

Okay, so we do some of the new shit.
What about Pipe and John?

Thirty thousand fucking people.
We slap them into shape.
That's 60,000 pairs of ears.

No, it's 30,000 pairs of ears,
Mr. Fucking Accounting.

Hey, you guys.
Check this out, man.

Hey, baby. Hey, sweetie.
You gotta check this one out, man.

No, no, no, this is mine!
It's the John Oxenberger bible.

- You have no sense of privacy.
- Reverend Pipeftter
is gonna do the sermon.

Listen to this.
Get off of my shoulder.

"J-J-Joe has informed me...

that m-my journal has been
deemed a threat to the band.

Well, fuck that. What the hell
has h-h-happened to us anyway?"

Anyway, listen to this.
'All week we went through these motions,

just holding our breath in case
someone whispers a secret...

too soft to hear.

Well, I held my breath long enough.

I heard the secret and I realized...

that I really came on this tour
because I can be honest with
these guys and nobody else."

There's more. Wait.

"I came back because when I'm at home,
I have to take these pills."

No shit. The guy's a looney.
Oh, here's a pill.

Would you fuck off.
"I have to lie to everyone.

I lie to Celine. I lie to myself.
I lie to everyone else.

I have to get up every day and tell
this lie every day about being normal.

And before the reunion came up,
I was scared I'd wake up one day...

and believe that lie
for the rest of my life.

Makes me wonder what lies
the other guys are believing."

Is that hilarious or what?

You guys aren't laughing.
Oh, shit.

W-W-Well, this s-s-settles one thing.

I-I-I never knew...

i-i-if you could read or not.

I'm sorry, man.
Look, I'm... Oh, fuck.

911.

You hurt his fucking feelings.
You're so fucking stupid.

You loved it.

- Well, it was a little funny.
- I know. No shit, eh?

Would you give it a fucking break?
Give that camera a fucking break.

Why don't you guys all fuck off.

Jesus Christ. I mean, who do you
think you are anyway, Bruce?

Bruce, who do you think you are?

I've seen your movies.
You seen his movies? What is it?
Roadkill and Highway 68.

Come on.
Give me a break.

I mean, hey, hey, look. Hey, man.
Look, I'm talkin' to you.

We've been through shit
and we've been through hell and back,

and we know what it's like,
and we still survived.

'Cause we're a fucking band, aren't we?
We're a fucking band, man.

'Cause we're a fucking band, aren't we?
We're a fucking band, man.

And you wanna know something else?

I bet you we're gonna be here
a lot longer than you will.

And I bet you any money
your videos are probably
on sale at Payless for 99 cents.

There you go, blow.

Can we get some eggs here?
This beer is so fuckin' fiat.

- It's from last night.
I opened it last night.
- It's urine.

You pissed in my beer?

There you go.

John's... book.

Words come and go,

but pictures never die.

You know, it's like when
you spend so much time with it,

it's like it is family, so...

Like that's...

H.C.L.F.,
the Hard Core Logo family.

We laugh our fucking heads off, or
there's just a lot of fucking tension.

And that seems to work.
And that's what real life is.

It's like a marriage. You get along,
and fights are a drag, but they happen.

It's like your brother or your sister.

You like them. You love them.
But you never tell 'em that.

You just give 'em shit
for the rest of their life.
Always pick out their bad points.

- That's all they do.
- I marry the music.

I marry the percussion
and the electrical sound,

so I'm kind of like
the mother of the band.

Certain things that fall
into place at different times...

where, you know, maybe it was John
taking care of everybody for a while...

or maybe it was Pipe.

Sometimes it's Joe, and then
it all sort of switches around.

Someone's always falling down
and other people are pickin' 'em up.

- We helped him out.
He's doing a lot better.
- The band's a family.

The guy's getting so much press,
he's going to fucking L.A.

In a way.

Fix the bridge and it'll be perfect.

So, is it true
you guys faked the benefit?

- What are you talking about?
- A friend of mine
just called from Vancouver.

Said Bucky Haight was never shot.

- He's saying a lot of people are really pissed off.
- Like who?

We just saw Bucky.
He's in a wheelchair.

Well, I'm just saying I heard he's not.

The guy showed us his stump, Victoria.

You ever see a guy's stump?
The guy's like,

"Come on, man. I want
to show you how it feels.

Touch it.
Touch my stump."

Disgusting!

So don't tell me
that Bucky Haight wasn't shot.

'Cause we were there.
We touched his stump.

Okay?

- Okay.
- Okay, now beat it.

Oh!
That was very clever.

You're walking along the street

Or you're at a party

Or else you're alone and then

You suddenly dig

You're looking in someone's eyes

You suddenly realize

That this could be
the start of something big

You're lunching at Twenty-One

That was the Hard Cores with
"Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?"

And we have live in the studio with us
today, lead guitarist Billy Tallent.

Billy, welcome
to "Deadmenton."

Canadian capital
of rock and roll worship.

Terry, glad to be here.

All right, all right, all right.

We got the Hard Cores back together.
You're wrapping up the tour now.

Last night here in Edmonton.
You gotta feel great.

Yeah, we had a couple
of good gigs, some wild nights.

I'm glad people remember us, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

All right. Well, let's talk about
the Toronto gig you got coming up.

Big thing.
You're looking for 30,000 some-odd
people. That sounds really exciting.

I notice you got
a little film crew here today with you.
A lot of things going on.

Is there a video or a possible...
another tour coming up?

Or something on those lines?
You know what we're gonna do?
We're gonna cut to...

We're gonna cut to a little song here.

"Ten Buck Fuck" by Hard Core Logo.

Thank you.
That just came in five minutes ago.

- Billy, you've been
holding out on me, man.
- No, I haven't.

It came in five minutes ago. I haven't
told Joe. I haven't told anybody.

You're playing with Jenifur.
You're playing with Jenifur!

That's like the big time, man. That's
like the big time! This is great.

We'll do a live on-air interview.
We'll talk about this right now.

This'll be like an excellent kind
of thing. This will be totally cool.

No, nothing on the air.
I don't want you to tell anybody.

What do you mean? You don't want me
to talk about this on the air?

No. Hang on.

- You didn't hear that, right?
- We're cool.

- You're cool?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
- We're cool, Billy boy.

Just wait.
We'll show you just how cool we are.

- How much time?
- About 40 seconds.

Look, I'm gonna have to cut out
'cause I have nothing to say.

- I can't talk to you about any of this.
- What do you mean?

- You gotta go?
- Yeah.

- I'll see you at the gig
tonight, right?
- Well, yeah...

- You're on the list.
- All right. Great.

- Hey, can I still get that plus one...
- No!

Your friends are dinks, Terry.

- I'm just kidding.
- All right, man. You and me, Billy.

There's ten rules of the
Great Rock and Roll Swindle.

You establish the name,
in our case again.

You become the world's
greatest tourist attraction.

You fucking get as much
money from the record company
as you... mmm... possibly can.

You find a guitar player
that's committed, honest, trustworthy.

How was the fucking interview, William?

How was the interview, William?

You, uh...

So you and Billy
are doing a new album as well?

Why do you ask, Bruce?
Do you want to do our video?

Well, actually,
I was just gonna ask you...

how you feel about
Billy leaving the band.

What the fuck are you talking about?

How do you feel about
Billy leaving Hard Core Logo?

Rock and roll is fat and ugly

Rock and roll is fat and ugly

Rock and roll is fat and ugly

Rock and roll is fat and ugly

Take me out of this frozen season

Send me down for a holiday

I'll spend some time down in Costa Rica

I just can't wait to get away

Permeate

Till you're right here

Permeate

'Cause I think I'm leaving

She was so good to me
She's always there through every day

She's been so fine to me
She's always there through every day

Who the hell you think you are

Call your wife a fucking bitch

Who the hell you think you are

Watch her leave
'cause she hates your guts

Who the hell you think you are

Thank you very, very, very much

Who the hell you think you are

Yeah, but what do you do, man?

You get beat up and...

your heart's crushed in
and you get let down...

by a person or a place
or something you trusted.

Or you put up a fight...

till what's lost is found.

Yeah!

And you get knocked down
and you get beat up

And you reach for the bullet

And you wait around
and around and around

For whatever it is, man
that got you busted

To get inside

To hit the ground

Well, there'll be no peace
There'll be no fight

- 'Cause someone's gonna die tonight
- Hey! Hey!

There ain't no point in running around

- When someone's gonna
- Hey! Hey!

Die tonight

Oooh!

This has been a very special evening.

Not only is this the end
of our hugely successful reunion tour,

it's also the end
of Billy Tallent's fucking life.

Skins ripped off my palms.

I was dry, but now I'm wet.

Now I'm everywhere.

Bars off the window.

No more music.
No more...

Off with their...
Off with their heads.

Throw them to the lions.
Feed them to the dead.

Burn them at the stake.

Stake to the heart.

Undead fucking on the bedrock.

Of evil cowboy mouth...

bit the head off a zit.

Lobster man saves
rock and roll, rock and roll.

Gave his own life to the soul.

No control.

No control.

No control.

No control.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end, it's love.

And in the end...

Thank you very much,
Edmonton. Good night.

We're good.

We're buddies.

- End of the tour.
- End of the tour.

Did you have a good time?

Yeah.

You got everything you needed, right?

One more shot.
I thought it was excellent.

What is it?
One more shot, and salud?

Jesus!
Oh, Jesus! Was that for real?

- Christ!
- Someone call an ambulance!

Someone call an ambulance!

Well, we've been
to London and we've been to L.A.

Spain, New Zealand
and the U.S.A.

Europe, Japan and Pago Pago

Canada, Siam, Oz and Kamoto

The kids all come from miles around

The party gets started
when the sun goes down

And Holiday Inn's
the only home I know

I know, I know, I know

Rock and roll's the life
'cause we got the power, baby

Cruising down the highway
at 500 miles an hour, baby

We got a fuel-injected tour bus
Man, it really flies

With a videotape deck inside

Let's go rock and roll
Everybody, come on

Let's go rock and roll
Everybody, come on now

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring Oh, baby

Touring

Especially with your favorite girl

Touring, touring
all around the world

Well, we've been around
this great big world

And we've met all kinds
of guys and girls

From Kamoto Islands
to Rockaway Beach

No, it's not hard not far to reach

American girls knock me out ya know

Fast cars, cold beer
and rock and roll

America is the only home I know

I know, I know, I know

Let's go, let's go
let's go, let's go

Five hundred miles to Mexico

Let's go, let's go
let's go, let's go

Two hundred miles to Tokyo

Let's go Let's go

Let's go Let's go

Drive, drive, drive the night away

Straight on through
to the break of day

Drive, drive, drive the night away

Well, it's in your blood
it's in your blood

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring is never boring

Touring, touring Oh, baby

Touring

Especially with
your favorite girl now

Touring, touring all around, yeah

Touring, touring
all around the world

Touring, touring all around, yeah

Touring, touring
all around the world