Happy Here and Now (2002) Movie Script

MAN:

Assume the future

is bigger than you are.

Near it, somewhere...

everywhere...

people are channelin'

themselves through machines...

talkin' without eye contact,

without touchin'.

Somewhere along the line,

a new wrinkle comes into it.

Becomes possible...

to project an image of yourself

as you talk.

An image that doesn't

necessarily correspond

to how you look.

It doesn't look anything like

you really look.

In this future, you can choose

how you want to appear.

That's the form we take online.

An avatar, you know?

That's what it's called,

an avatar. From the Greek.

No, it's Sanskrit, isn't it?

Right.

But imagine you fell in love

with this image on the screen.

With you. You think

that's what's happening?

Imagine you fell in love.

A friend asked me

something strange today:

"How would you rather

think of your life:

as dust or as wind?"

Friend asked you that?

It depressed me.

A little.

I wonder why.

Listen.

Lemme tell you a story.

[SIREN WAILING FAINTLY]

[***]

We're on the first floor,

checking our extension.

All right,

upper end collapse.

Is he okay?

I'm fine.

I'm okay.

Okay.

We're opening up

the ceilings.

Whoa!

Amelia?

Bill Everson.

You sprouted.

All your aunt's photos

make you look tiny.

She asked me to pick you up.

You got any more luggage?

Here, let me

give you a hand.

No, thanks.

No, no, I got it.

[PLANES SOARING]

You haven't been to New Orleans

for a while, have you?

I've never been here.

Never been?

Well, you'll like it.

It's almost

entirely below sea level.

[***]

BILL:

French Quarter.

You've heard of

the French Quarter, right?

AMELIA:

Yeah.

Well,

this ain't the French Quarter.

BILL:

Hank Williams got married

around here.

Twice in one day.

Up ahead is Napoleon House.

Built for the emperor

of the same name.

We were gonna rescue him

from his island prison,

substitute a look-alike double,

bring the real guy here

and start a new French empire.

Well, he died

before it could happen.

It's a restaurant now.

But I prefer Bud's Broiler.

It's a chain of very slow

fast-food establishments,

usually located by cemeteries.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

Hey!

Phine, come on over here,

say hi to your cousin.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey.

Hi.

Miss me?

I hope you didn't mind

Bill pickin' you up.

You know how planes

make me nervous,

and Josie had to practice

her, uh-- Her solo.

The police haven't

turned anything up.

I'm taking that

as a good sign.

[PLAYING

EXOTIC MUSIC]

She wanted

to take a pilgrimage.

She's always asking me about

Mexico, Tibet and India

and about the sadhu...

the holy men that renounced

all worldly goods.

She was working herself up

to something.

I think she's okay.

How you doing there, Jo?

Good.

If she were in real trouble,

I'd feel it.

I wanna look for her.

I couldn't stay at home

not doing anything.

Dad's all shut down.

Doesn't talk,

goes fishing.

Felt like

I was going insane.

Well, Bill can help out.

He's part bloodhound,

and he used to work for the CIA.

Can I use your phone?

* Now here's a very nice dance

That we'd like to learn to do *

* It should come

Very easy to you *

* Just go from side-to-side

And... *

* And, uh, back and forth *

* And clap your hands

And so forth *

* And so on and ooh *

* That's kind of nice

Isn't it? *

* Really nice

Yeah, mm-hmm *

* Now here's a frantic

Dynamic romantic *

* Lil' ol' dance called... *

[***]

WOMAN:

She hadn't traveled much.

Not far from home,

and never alone.

The world seemed too big.

Filled with strangers.

[DOG BARKING]

She thought of

that Emily Dickinson poem

from her last week

of school:

"The brain is deeper

than the sea,

wider than the sky..."

something...something,

something.

It already seemed like

a long time ago.

[DOG BARKS]

Hi, Isabel.

We call him Karl,

Karl Barx.

Muriel spoke about you

a little.

[COOL R&B PLAYING]

A singer, is that you?

She said you had

a beautiful voice.

ISABEL:

Guys, this is

Muriel's sister, Amelia.

That's Peter.

And that's Quinton.

Mr. Quinton.

Quinton?

[DOG BARKS]

And that's Karl,

that handsome devil, our son.

[BARKS]

Don't be mad.

[DREAMY HAWAIIAN SONG PLAYING]

"On any trip, strangeness

is balanced by familiar things.

"And so it is in Hawaii."

Very private girl.

Withdrawn.

It's very sad.

Sometimes

she wouldn't say a word,

she'd just go up

to her room

and stay on her computer

all night.

All night?

She didn't sleep much.

None of us do.

"--shift and interplay.

"The voice of the island

speaks through the people,

"the wildlife,

and even the elements.

"The dramatic, the sentimental,

the savage.

"We do not merely listen

to the islands...

we are there."

This next song's about me

before I quit drinking.

It's not the sort of thing

you wanna say,

"Oh, yeah, that's me."

But it's a great song.

[FESTIVE HAWAIIAN SONG PLAYING]

This brings back memories

of when I was

first courting Isabel.

We used to go out to eat,

and I just couldn't say a thing.

I'd just sit there and push

my food around my plate.

Finally, I looked up at her

and said,

"I think I've fallen in love."

And realized I hadn't

made myself clear,

so I added "with you."

[PHONE RINGS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

MAN:

You don't want to

drink too much.

You're Tom, right?

Yeah.

I'm Hannah Webster.

Ritchie Webster's wife.

Widow.

I saw you at the funeral.

Have some cake.

Is it someone's birthday?

No. Jeff's wife just likes

to bake cakes.

You going to ask me

about my eye?

Which one?

I had laser surgery last week,

but it isn't healing.

Cornea's scratched.

It's very rare,

but that's why

they do the operation

one eye at a time.

Does it hurt?

I wanted to talk with you about

what happened when Ritchie died.

[ALARM BLARING]

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY

OVER P.A.]

[SIREN WAILING]

[HORN HONKS]

Hi, honey.

You didn't have to wait up

for me.

Oh, no, I didn't.

We couldn't sleep.

We rearranged the furniture,

now, did you notice that?

The piano was against

the wall over there.

And, uh, we moved the...

um, table, and, uh...

And the...

This was, uh...the chair.

And then, when it was all over,

I just looked around me,

and I thought,

"Now, finally,

my life has order and clarity."

Everything is possible and new

because I moved the piano.

Did Muriel's friends

have anything to tell you?

Just that she liked her computer

more than she liked them.

Good night.

Good night, honey.

[UPBEAT BLUES PLAYING]

* Oh, tell me, babe *

* Whatcha got on your mind? *

* But don't you hear me cry? *

* Ooh, ooh *

* Yeah, yeah *

I was reading this story...

about a guy...

who went into space

with the Russians.

Their whole space shuttle was

held together with duct tape.

The guy was

just Velcro'd in there,

waitin' for something

to go wrong.

G-7.

What?

G-7, check it out.

[HEAVY R&B PLAYING]

* I'm gonna do a little song

For you now *

* That'll make you

Clap your hands *

* Kick your feet

And as a matter of fact *

* It'll tear you up *

* La-la-la-la-laaaah *

* La-la-la-la-lahhhh *

* La-la-la-la-laaaah *

And so...

of course,

a fire broke out

aboard this Russian

death ship.

In deep space, Tom...

in outer space, if a fire

breaks out, what happens?

There's no oxygen.

It'd get snuffed out in no time.

Inside the ship

there's oxygen, Tom,

but no gravity.

Think about it:

the shape of a fire...

all the shifting points and

claws and tongues of fire,

like an animal.

Everything Heraclitus recognized

as the essence of life, in fire.

In outer space,

it's completely different.

In outer space,

a fire is spherical.

Like a little ball?

A fireball, right.

It's neat, huh?

Why are you bringing this up?

You're not interested?

No, I'm interested.

I just thought it'd be

a neat scene in a movie:

fire in outer space.

I've never seen it.

Because I'm gonna

finally do it, Tom.

I'm gonna make my movie.

Well, good.

In outer space?

Just one scene in outer space.

The rest in New Orleans.

A termite movie.

There might be termites in it.

People too.

Hey, kids.

I am going crazy.

My new boyfriend,

he brought over this TV set.

I haven't lived with a TV

for seven years.

Now it's on all the time,

and I'm watching it.

Can we order?

Of course.

Sorry.

Apple pie, heated,

à la mode, two scoops.

How about you, Tommy?

You gonna pig out

like your brother?

TOM:

Uh...sake.

Sake?

Right. You, uh,

see that on the menu?

A large sake.

Yeah, a little living large

these days.

TOM:

And, uh, sushi.

Great...

fine.

Deluxe sushi, mom, extra large.

And get yourself a sake.

We'll get drunk,

go back to your place

and watch TV.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]

Where's Muriel's computer?

You always sleep

with your clothes on?

Seriously, where is it?

Bill has it.

Bill?

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

What are you doing?

Would you know if I told you?

That's Muriel's, it's private.

The hard drive's been wiped out,

intentionally and completely.

Does that sound like something

your sister would do?

I mean, would she want

to erase herself?

Well, if she didn't do it,

who did?

Exactly.

But everything's not lost.

I picked up traces

off the Webcam.

Traces of what?

Bits and pieces.

I'm workin' on it.

BILL:

Have you seen this guy before?

No.

Just give me time.

I'll see

what I can scare up.

[PLAYING "TEQUILA"]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[BLOWS]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[TEARFULLY]

Okay, it's okay.

Let's keep on playing.

Let's keep on playing that song,

it's a good one.

[RESUMES PLAYING "TEQUILA"]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[HARD RAP MUSIC

PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

Whoa!

You okay?

Sweetie, we can wash

those clothes for you.

You don't have to keep on

wearing all that.

No, I'm okay.

I'll buy you some

flip-flops.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

BILL:

Hey!

I found something.

You might wanna come

and take a look.

The speed of light.

The speed of light is

186,171 miles a second.

BILL:

He's in Spain.

Or at least the satellite

is carrying him from Spain.

Do you know

anybody in Spain?

I don't think Muriel

knew anybody there either.

The speed of light.

The speed of light is

186,171 miles a second.

There's nothing faster

than that.

Not even in principle.

A moonbeam takes around about

a second to reach Earth.

Ka-boom.

My eyes,

lookin' at yours...

what's happenin'

as that happens?

We don't know.

Over a hundred years ago,

Nikola Tesla devised a way

of slowin' light down

to 38 miles an hour.

Think about that.

You could race a beam of light

on a bicycle.

When Tesla died,

he was workin' out a way

of slowin' light down

to 120 feet per hour,

the speed of a turtle.

Usin' Tesla's system,

you could trigger

a beam of light,

go out for a cup of coffee...

and come back in time to watch

the light

tap the other side of the room.

But Tesla...

was fanatically secretive.

He did all his inventin'

in his head.

Even so,

within an hour of his death,

the FBI busted into

his hotel room,

confiscated his papers

from a safe,

and handed 'em over

to the Pentagon.

What's my point?

Here we are,

drownin' in time and space.

Somewhere in the universe,

children are born,

bridges and sports stadiums

are constructed,

and a space shuttle uses lasers

to make a completely detailed

topographical map

of the planet.

But when I look

into your eyes...

is there any way

to understand that?

To hold it and keep it

and comprehend it?

And if I could touch you...

then it gets even

more complicated.

Which is why...

I prefer the old love songs.

You know the kind.

[COOL R&B PLAYING]

* I never met a girl

Who make me feel *

* The way you do *

* I never seen a girl

Who makes my dreams so real *

* The way you do *

* So fe-fi-fo-fum *

* Look out, baby

Here I come *

* I'm bringing you

A love that's true *

* So get ready

Get ready *

* Here I come *

* Here I come now *

* If you wanna play

Hide-and-seek with love *

* Let me remind you... *

I have that record.

That song,

that's a Wayne Cochran song.

But this guy dancing up there,

that's not Wayne Cochran.

The audio, the song,

is Wayne Cochran,

but this guy up here,

this is Ernie K-Doe.

He lives here.

In New Orleans?

Yeah.

You, you know, honey,

he was famous for that--

The "Mother-in-Law" song.

Right? He's got that club,

over on Claiborne.

Is that near here?

It's not far.

And he also used to DJ,

at, uh, WTUL, out in Tulane.

But that didn't work out

'cause he kept talking

about himself

over every song he played.

* All my friends

They gonna watch you too *

BILL:

All right.

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

And...

have you ever seen

the other guy?

The first guy?

No. Mm-mmm.

But you have leads. Huh?

Isn't that

what you call this?

Mommy,

I'm hungry.

Of course you are, sugar.

Come on.

Let's head home,

get something to eat,

and let Mr. Bill

follow his leads.

I'm gonna stay

a minute.

Stay for dinner.

I got some...

I got some crackers,

uh...somewhere.

I'd like to

see it again.

The whole thing, please.

[FOGHORN BELLOWS]

Do you know how much money

Thomas Jefferson paid

for the Louisiana Purchase?

You know, when the U.S. bought

Louisiana from the French,

they wrote out a check.

For what amount?

I'll give you a clue:

It was a bargain.

A lot of money,

but fair.

Fifty dollars.

Where are you from?

Macedonia.

Do they have termites

in Macedonia?

I don't know. Probably.

So you have no experience

in termite control?

My family moved here

when I was 12.

I worked for Terminix

last spring.

I know about the chemicals.

You know about the chemicals,

that's good.

But if you worked

for my competitor last spring,

why aren't you working

for them now?

It was personal.

Personal reasons.

Nothing to do with termites.

Well, if I call these people up

and ask for a reference,

what would they say?

I was fired because I was in

love with the boss's wife,

and she was in love with me,

too, briefly.

Quinton?

Mm-hmm.

Well, Quinton...

I have to admit,

I feel some sympathy for you.

I feel as if I've been

in the same boat.

Have you heard

of Nikola Tesla?

Yeah, of course.

So you live here?

No. This is just

a temporary office

while we renovate.

We got a big place

by the river.

This is a client's house.

They have to clear out while we,

you know...fumigate.

Yeah. A lot of these big

old houses, like my house...

uh, they're empty,

so people just live there.

Yeah, well, with real estate

being what it is,

I can understand that.

Like I was saying...

what Thomas Jefferson paid

for the Louisiana Purchase?

Fifteen million dollars.

That's in 1803 dollars.

Multiply that by 157...

phhht.

But I wonder if he would have

paid so much money

if he knew less than

200 years later,

the Formosan termite

would invade from Japan,

eatin' its way through

every stick of wood,

every house,

every wooden structure

in the state.

Seriously, it's all being

fuckin' devoured.

Splinter by splinter.

These termites have

tiny double-decker wings.

Otherwise,

they're just one big mouth.

The whole point of that mouth

is to eat wood.

For me, the business I'm in

is what you call a challenge.

* Hey now, mama *

* You sure feed me good *

* Hey, mama *

* You sure feed me good *

* You know I like pork chops *

* And with some greens

We're good to go *

Don't even try

to buy me a drink.

I can buy my own liquor.

I might buy you a drink...

but I only accept drinks

from firemen.

Firemen?

That's right.

And you are not a fireman,

are you?

Well...

metaphorically, maybe.

Sorry, that's my new policy.

Are you brave?

Brave?

I try to be.

What happened to your eye?

Which one?

You've done this before,

haven't you?

In school a few times.

You didn't like it?

Hm. I was never that crazy

about being in my body,

but...I figured out

less complicated ways

of getting out of it.

Drugs?

Fishing.

[MODEM BUZZING]

I think I just wanna

do it straight...like Muriel.

Howdy, stranger.

Hi.

What do we have here?

I felt like talking.

Everybody I know is asleep.

I never sleep.

Things are so much more

interestin' when you're awake,

in my opinion.

Yeah, sleep's overrated.

It's just a bad habit

people have picked up

over 4000 years.

If you eat right,

exercise regularly,

sleep can be avoided.

Or if you take

the right pills.

What's your name?

Eddie Mars.

That's my name.

Don't wear it out.

What's yours?

Muriel.

That's very nice.

Muriel.

All the same, I find your story

hard to believe.

No one else

you could call right now?

No one special person

in your life?

There are many people

in my life.

They're just all asleep.

You're married perhaps.

No, I'm too young.

Can't you tell?

I never judge a book

by its cover.

Sometimes a cover's

all you have.

They're not the most

interesting books, are they?

Besides, I'm not

much of a reader.

I'm more of a skimmer.

I read for contents.

What's your name again?

Muriel.

Right, Muriel.

I'm Eddie Mars.

Muriel,

do you believe in love?

Are you in love

with anybody right now?

Well...I just broke up

with my boyfriend.

So...I guess...

no, I'm not

exactly in love.

What are you gonna do?

About what?

What are you gonna do

without him?

Oh, that's why I came

to New Orleans.

Oh, you're in New Orleans.

I've heard of it.

Let me tell you

about Blaise Pascal.

It's a cool name,

isn't it? Blaise.

Blaise Pascal.

Sounds like an Italian cowboy,

but he was French.

A mathematician

and philosopher.

He invented calculus.

Thanks, Blaise.

And he was a very boring

character.

He never made love in his life.

And when he's sufferin'

from massive headaches,

which was most of the time,

he solved geometry problems.

I just had a sudden impulse

to hear a song.

You mind?

No, I don't mind.

[SNIFFLES]

"The eternal silence

of these infinite spaces

fills me with dread."

[ROLLICKING ROCK SONG PLAYING]

* Now, I know why Adam

Bit off the apple *

* And why man

Invented the gun *

* The kind of love

That you possess, baby *

* Make a cripple man

Get up and run *

* I got two jobs already *

* But tomorrow

I'm-a get another one *

* Because this sweet love

You give me-- *

[MUSIC STOPS]

Uh, did he break off on purpose?

Ow. Maybe he could tell

that you're trying to trace him.

Are you all right?

Oop--

Sit.

My foot fell asleep.

He had you on the defensive.

You've got to ask

more questions.

You've gotta keep him

on longer.

What's that place

that Lois said?

The Mother-In-Law Lounge?

How late are they open?

["UN BACIO E TROPPO POCO"

PLAYING ON RADIO]

PETER [ON RADIO]:

Word on the street

is that John Sinclair

set fire to his house so he

could have these musicians

get together

for a benefit concert.

I think

I started that rumor.

A lineup like this is worth

burning your house down for.

Kermit Ruffins

and the Barbecue Swingers,

Soul Remedy, Royal Fingerbowl,

Galactic, the Revealers,

Marva Wright, Soul Rebels,

Mutiny, MC Trachiotomy,

Iris May Tango, 3Now4,

Katey Red, Erma Thomas,

the Naked Orchestra,

Eddie Bo, The Meters,

Astral Project

and the Klezmer Allstars.

That's

1500 North Claiborne Avenue,

where you might just catch

the emperor of the universe,

Mr. Ernie K-Doe.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[CHEERFUL R&B PLAYING]

* Have no fear *

* Spread a little cheer *

* Have no fear *

* Spread a little cheer *

* Take me higher *

* Ohhh *

* Oh *

* Baby *

She's too young.

Relax. It's my night out.

She's still too young.

Give her a 7Up.

I'll have the same.

Is Ernie here?

There are three great stars

that I know

in the rhythm and blues.

That's Ernie K-Doe,

James Brown,

and Ernie K-Doe.

Of course someone is gonna try

to impersonate me.

I am a public figure.

This man is a legend.

Yes, ma'am.

You don't know these people.

I never have had

a flop-record in my life.

I don't what a flop record is.

Because I write from reality.

And when I wake up

in the morning,

I'm looking at a hit record.

I don't know these people.

I d-- I really

don't know these people but--

[CRUMPLES UP PAPER]

But I sure wish

I could help you.

Thanks a lot Ernie.

[MODEM SCREECHING]

[SCREECHING FADES OUT]

"You want to love me,"

her ex-boyfriend had said,

"but you don't know how."

["HANDA WANDA" PLAYING]

There was no answer for that.

No way to be clear

about what she wanted.

Or how love in her life

seemed like her sister:

abruptly lost.

[DOG BARKING]

Hi.

Anyone home?

Um, just me.

I'm looking for this guy.

Hey, this guy looks just like

me, don't you think?

No, not really.

Do you have any idea when

they'll be back?

They're walking the dog.

* Wham-ba-ba-lam *

Oh, I definitely I recognize

this guy.

* Wham, goddamn *

All right, wait right here.

I wanna show you something.

* Wham-ba-ba-lam *

* Wham-ba-ba-lam

Wham-ba-ba-lam *

[BARKS]

* Wham-- *

[SONG STOPS PLAYING]

This is for you.

Oh...

You don't even know me.

It's for you.

Thanks.

It's nice.

Don't try to kiss me, okay?

Who said anything

about kissing?

I didn't say anything about...

Anything about kissing.

You don't have to

say anything about it.

[STRANGE RHYTHM PLAYING]

I have a new job.

I've gotta get ready for it.

I don't have time to kiss you.

What kind of job

do you have?

Termite control.

But it could

spread into an acting job

in a movie for the Internet.

But I want to play you

this song.

Real quick. So shh.

[BIZARRE CHIRPS & THUDS]

[FALSETTO]

* Magic machine, magic machine

Magic machine, magic machine *

EDDIE:

It's a cool name isn't it?

Blaise.

Blaise Pascal.

Sounds like an Italian cowboy.

But he was French.

A mathematician

and philosopher.

He invented calculus.

Thanks, Blaise.

And he was a very boring

character.

He never made love in his life.

[COUGHS]

And when he was sufferin'

form massive headaches,

which was most of the time,

he solved geometry problems.

I just had an impulse

to hear a song.

[COUGHING]

You mind?

[BAND PLAYING FESTIVE MARCH]

Hi.

Howdy.

Remember me?

Sure, partially.

How you been?

Well, I've been taking

my medication,

but it doesn't seem

to be working.

My leg hurts.

I can't sleep.

I can relate to the last part,

the sleep part.

What you do today?

I was babysitting.

That's good,

you're a babysitter.

Yeah, I was hanging around

with my friend Amelia.

She's 16.

And Josephine,

she's eight.

And we came to the conclusion

that eight-year-olds

have a lot more fun

than most people, older people.

You wish you were

eight-years-old?

Feel like I am eight-years-old

most of the time.

No wonder you're having trouble

with your boyfriend.

He shown up yet?

No, he's supposed to step back,

remember? Way back.

You miss him.

MARS:

Don't start crying again.

Don't worry, I wont.

Let me tell you a story.

Okay.

MARS:

Right...

There was a woodcutter,

once upon a time.

And he had a ring of trees.

He'd get up everyday,

chop away.

That was his world,

his life.

He was happy.

One day,

he heard a bird singing

high up in one of the trees.

He stopped, listened.

It was the most beautiful thing

he'd ever heard.

He fell in love with the bird.

He decided, of course,

he'd have to have it.

Tried climbing the tree

where the bird was.

The bird just moved to another.

You are all right?

Yeah.

Anyone there with you?

No.

Are you gonna finish the story?

The woodcutter chased the bird

from tree to tree.

Pretty soon he realized

it was hopeless.

The bird could read his mind.

Soon as he moved from one tree,

the bird jumped to another.

The woodcutter was miserable.

Couldn't go back

to his old life.

He cursed the bird.

He cursed the bird. He thought,

"I wish I'd never seen you

or heard your fuckin' song

"'cause now, without you,

my life is hardly worth living.

I was better off

before you showed up."

So he went back

to his woodcutting.

There was nothing else to do.

Went back to his woodcutting,

but now he was shut down,

focused, no distractions.

Chopping away like mad.

And one day,

choppin' wood,

the blade of the axe

flew of the handle,

and struck

a branch high overhead.

And the bird,

who was sitting on the branch,

fell down and landed

right in

the woodcutter's hand.

And the bird was dead.

What?

MURIEL:

Killed by the axe.

Of course not, it was fine.

It lived, and the woodcutter

kept the bird.

Well, I don't know.

You don't know?

Well, that's not the point

of the story.

Well, then enlighten me.

What is the point?

EDDIE:

If there were a point,

there wouldn't be a story.

[PHONE RINGING]

[SWITCHES CLICKS, STATIC BUZZES]

Hello.

You're here? All right, hold on.

Just hold on.

Bring your friend.

[STATIC SILENCES]

Howdy.

Hi.

Eddie Mars.

Thank you for coming.

This is Isabel.

Hi, Isabel.

Um...come on in.

Nikola Tesla, having faked

his own death in 1944,

escapes with his unpatented

genius ideas

and settles

in the Texas desert.

West Texas, in a ghost town

named Mohidas, okay?

Now, around 1972,

his experiments lead him

to the first success

in the cloning of human beings.

He clones himself, okay?

Now, Tesla, now

100-something years old,

he can recite

logarithmic tables,

but he's terrified of germs,

spherical objects

and all contact

with human flesh.

Okay?

All right, this is

where our story

really kicks in.

Tesla and the clone

both go to New Orleans.

Tesla on a mule, and the clone's

pushing a shopping cart.

They meet this stripper

at Cafe Brasil.

Part-time stripper/waitress,

you know?

And since, after all,

they are actually

the same person,

Tesla and the clone

both fall in love with her.

Tesla and the clone, who doesn't

actually know he's a clone,

both fall in love

with the same woman.

ISABEL:

Yeah,

Quinton explained all this.

You did?

Yeah,

it's good.

Yeah, I like it.

Is this the set?

Uh, partially.

This is the tesla coil.

Have you acted much before?

ISABEL:

Um, musicals mostly.

And theater.

Um, I have a radio show, but I'm

tired of being just a voice.

Are you gonna shoot

on video or film?

What's the difference

to you, personally?

Well...

You think video is cheap

and insubstantial, don't ya?

Yeah, sort of.

Here's the thing:

A hundred years ago,

you could go see elephants

on stage in Aida.

That's a Verdi opera.

Live elephants.

Or you could go to the corner,

watch a little flicker of lights

on something

called a nickelodeon.

You see, opera, the stage,

had the blockbuster mentality.

Movies were just a novelty.

And now it's like

you go to the movies to see

the elephants, the sinking

ships, the explosions.

And you go to the Internet

to see people

talking and living.

The Internet is

the new hub of the wheel.

The Internet's the future.

I'm gonna meet my wife

on the Internet.

Our children will be educated

on a free and informed society

thanks to the Internet.

All our needs and dreams

will find fulfillment

on the Internet.

This movie,

this story,

will be seen by millions...

on the Internet.

Do I have to take

my clothes off?

Yeah, partially.

MAN:

Well, my house is gone,

my record collection is gone,

but I've still got my friends,

and I gotta say this:

These are some great musicians

and some great people.

And I can't thank everybody

enough for helpin' out.

At this time, ladies and g's,

without further ado,

let me introduce to you

the man they call

The Emperor of the Universe,

and the prettiest man I know,

with his band, Blue-Eyed Soul,

Mr. Ernie K-Doe!

[CHEERING & WHISTLING]

WOMAN:

Yeah!

Thank you.

Heads up, fellas!

[BAND PLAYING

"CHILDREN OF THE WORLD"]

* Heyyy *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey *

* Children of the world *

* You better listen to me

And your teacher *

* Learn *

* The golden rules *

* Know why I must talk

To the postman *

* The president and the mayor *

* Talk to your governor *

* Your parents

And your teachers *

* Wherever they at *

* Oh, stay *

* Now, stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher

Right, today *

* Learn the golden rules *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Yeah *

* K-Doe *

* I'm K-Doe *

* Ahhh *

[K-DOE SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

* Oh, yeah *

* Children *

* Wherever you come from *

* If you sanctify *

["CHILDREN OF THE WORLD"

CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

Mind if I join you?

I'm sorry I couldn't talk

the other night.

Can't talk here either.

I just wanted to say,

um, goodbye.

Okay.

Is he gone?

Yeah.

* Get it on *

* Oh, get it on *

* Ohhh *

There's a story...

I was reluctant to tell you.

A few years ago...

there was a woman.

She lived in Seattle.

And she disappeared.

Her husband called the police.

There was no trace of her.

They looked

into her computer,

and she had wiped out

the hard drive...

and she had trashed

all her files.

You're unraveling.

Spare him.

AMELIA:

Are you gonna finish the story?

Story?

The story you didn't

wanna tell me.

Oh, right.

Okay.

The missing woman.

A systems expert went

into her computer,

sifted through the rubble,

and he found

extensive correspondence.

She was e-mailing

a man in Alabama.

It was one of those

S & M relationships.

It's a secret life

that her husband

knew nothing about.

She arranged

to meet this man,

the idea being

she was gonna

allow herself

to be tortured to death.

This is what she said

she wanted,

and this, it turned out...

is what happened.

The FBI...

they flew into

this little town in Alabama.

And the man confessed.

And they found the woman's body

buried in the woods.

But Muriel wasn't sick.

She was just depressed.

I wasn't talking

about Muriel.

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

The Chinese wouldn't be

doing it for 3000 years

if it didn't work.

I'm taking classes.

[STOPS PLAYING]

Don't talk much, do you?

[PLAYS BITTERSWEET MELODY]

[WHIRRING, BEEPING]

[STATIC BUZZING]

"When I consider

the short duration of my life,

"swallowed up in the eternity

before and after,

"the little space

which I fill

"and even can see,

"engulfed in the infinite

immensity of spaces

"of which I am ignorant

and which know me not,

"I'm frightened

"and I'm astonished at

being here rather than there,

"for there's no reason

why here rather than there,

"why now rather than then.

"By whose order and direction

have this place and time

been allotted to me?"

You've changed.

It's a strange book.

It's so old, but...

Blaise, my darlin' boy,

man of a million headaches...

I've been thinkin' about you.

I wanna talk

without illusions.

Honestly. And truly.

Where do we start?

We should meet face to face.

Café du Monde in a half-hour.

I got something

cookin' tonight.

Big night. Can't budge.

This is important.

Sure, it is.

Important and impossible.

Why impossible?

Well...

I look...

slightly different

for one thing.

I think I can handle that.

Well, I'm not sure that I can.

What do you look like?

Did you read the part

where he gives his theory

on the cause

of all the world's troubles?

The basic cause

why the human race is unhappy.

"All our unhappiness,"

he says,

"comes from our inability

to sit quietly in one room."

And even if we could

sit quietly in one room,

our mind scratches and claws

and screams to get out.

Right?

Your mind's always measurin',

wishin', regrettin'.

Is there a solution?

Love?

Are you kiddin'?

I don't know.

Well, when you're in love...

you become selfless,

transparent, that's the idea.

But we live in our bodies.

And what did Blake say?

"The body is the soul perceived

by the five senses."

But if I could touch you

or kiss you...

would we know each other

any better?

I'm just askin'.

Café du Monde in 15 minutes.

I'll buy you a beignet.

'Cause even though

I despise Plato

and blame him for almost

everything wrong with this...

so-called modern life,

the way you and I talk now is,

in some neo-platonic way, pure.

The way love is delusional

but pure,

as it gives you a way

to find yourself,

yourself reflected

in another person,

as if you could reach

through this mirror

and find your best self

on the other side.

Stop chewin' at your thumb.

Why do you always do that?

Why are you always gnawin'

at yourself?

What are you, malnourished?

I'm looking for my sister,

Muriel.

I think you knew her somehow.

[SNIFFLES]

I just wanna know

if she's all right.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

You're early.

Sorry.

We're excited.

Coffee and doughnuts

are here.

[COUGHS]

You can change back there.

Tesla will be here soon.

He looked spooked,

wouldn't you say?

He did, except...

that evidently,

he doesn't look like himself

as we know him, so...

there's no way to really tell

conclusively how he looks...

or how he feels.

Except he ran.

Now, that's fairly

incriminating.

He knew her.

He knows why and how

she's missing.

I got a gut feeling.

I'd like to pistol-whip

the fuck, you know?

Just to cut through

all this bullshit.

Yeah.

And then you can take him

to Café du Monde.

I thought you liked him.

Yeah.

I think he's cute.

I think I can see

what Muriel saw in him.

I mean, that's what

I was thinking when...

I don't think

he'd really hurt her.

You traced him.

I've narrowed down

the coordinates.

He lives by the river.

He won't talk with us--

Well, with you again.

This is the only card

left in the deck.

I don't believe this.

You don't make

the rules, kid.

But-- There's no proof.

There's no proof

that he had anything

to do with Muriel,

except that he talked to her

on the computer.

And he was just lonely.

Is--? Is that a crime?

I put some of my medicine

in your drink.

You'll sleep good.

And when you wake up...

everything's gonna be okay.

Don't worry.

I'll find him.

This next number

is for Isabel,

in honor of her movie debut

at this ungodly hour.

She's got

the Jessica Rabbit part

in a little local

semi-pornographic film,

so she tells me.

Puttin' the "show"

back in "show business."

[OSCAR MACK'S "DREAM GIRL"

PLAYING]

* Darling *

* You're so wonderful *

* And you're the girl

Of my-my dreams *

Okay.

Uh, if you don't mind,

Tesla,

um, the other Tesla's

gonna sit there.

All right.

Okay, we're almost ready.

Listen, while I'm shooting,

I'm gonna be playing loud music.

A lot of people do it this way.

Uh, D.W. Griffith

did it this way,

It's just a way

of getting you into the mood.

We'll just

dub the dialogue later.

All right.

So everything's clear?

Uh-- Remember,

you don't know he's a clone,

so when the electricity

comes on...

Maybe we should go over

that part again.

I'd like that.

I also.

Me too.

Where are your gloves?

I-I don't know.

Okay.

Just don't touch the coil.

[BEEPING]

Caress her.

[DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING]

No! You're blocking--

You're blocking her.

Kiss her shoulder.

[ZAPPING NOISES]

[SCREAMS]

[SIGHS]

[TIRE POPS, SQUEALS]

Back up.

[BEEPING]

[***]

[FUN R&B PLAYING]

* I never met a girl

Who make me feel... *

I'm looking for my sister.

Downstairs, baby.

She went downstairs.

Go on.

It's all right.

Go on, girl.

You're lookin' good.

Very good.

[TRAIN RUMBLING]

[***]

Eddie?

[COUGHING]

Eddie's

still inside.

[COUGHS]

Eddie?

This is Tesla.

Well, I got something

for him.

[COUGHING]

[ZAPPING]

Eddie?

[***]

[GUNSHOTS]

[***]

[GUNSHOT]

[ALARM BLARING]

[BARKING]

[***]

[DOOR OPENS]

[COUGHING]

[EDDIE COUGHING]

[COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[COUGHS]

Hello?

Hello? Amelia?

Honey?

Honey, wake up.

Wake up.

Oh, God,

what happened, honey?

MURIEL:

I used to wonder,

if I disappeared,

what difference would it make?

What consequences would follow?

And what would change?

If I could escape...

or if I could wake

from my life like a dream.

[***]

Man is only a reed,

the weakest thing in nature...

but he's a thinking reed.

There's no need

for the whole universe

to arm itself to crush him.

A vapor or a drop of water

is enough to kill him.

But even if the universe

were to crush us...

we'd still be more noble

than our destroyer...

because we know we're dying

and the advantage

the universe has over us.

The universe knows

nothing of this.

[K-DOE'S "REAPING WHAT I SOW"

PLAYING]

* Ooh, ooh *

* I've cried and I've cried *

* So very hard *

* Until myyy

My-my-my pillow got *

* Soaking wet *

* This I believe I'm reaping *

* What I sow

Oh, honey *

* I'm just a-reaping *

* What I've sown *

MURIEL:

"It is through thought

that we must elevate ourselves

and not through space and time,

which we can never fill."

[***]

These words reached me

at a time

when everything in my life

seemed to be moving too fast.

[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]

And no one could touch me...

when I needed to be comforted.

And to know...

that what really matters

is close at hand.

I'm coming at you

at this moment.

Now.

[COUGHING]

Now.

[ERNIE K-DOE'S

"LOVE IS ALL RIGHT" PLAYING]

* Love is all right *

* Love, love

Love is all right *

* Love *

* Oh, love *

* Is all right *

* Oh, love is all right *

* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* Now, when I met you, baby *

* I wanted to die in pain *

* You made my life

Worth living *

* Girl, you made me

Who I am *

* My happiness was in prison *

* But you came

And set free *

* My love, love, love, love

Love for you, baby *

* What your love

Has done for me *

* And I said, love *

* Oh, love *

* Is all right *

* Oh, love is all right *

* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* You get some in your body *

* It puts you in a groove *

* It puts music in your bones *

* And it makes you wanna move *

* It makes a weak man strong *

* And a blind

A blind man see *

* Now, look, look, look, look

Look what your, baby *

* What your love

Has done for me *

* And I said, love *

* Oh, love *

* Is all right *

* Oh, love *

* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* It's all right

It's all right *

* In the mornin' *

* It's all right *

* Love is all right *

* It's all right *

* In the evenin' *

* It's all right *

* Love is all right *

* It's all right *

[MUSIC FADING, CROWD CHEERING]

Okay, heads up, fellas.

[ERNIE K-DOE'S "CHILDREN

OF THE WORLD" PLAYING]

* Heyyy *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey *

* Children of the world *

* You better listen to me

And your teacher *

* Learn all the golden rules *

* Knows why I must talk

To the pope *

* The president and the mayor *

* Well, talk to the governor *

* Your parents

And your teacher *

* Wherever they at *

* Oh, stay *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher

Right, today *

* Learn the golden rules *

* Oh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey *

* K-Doe *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* Stay in school, children *

* Yeah, children *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Stay right there *

* Listen to your teacher *

* Learn the golden rules *

* The captain, the Baptist *

* The seven days in a week

Wherever you are *

* But stay *

* Stay in school *

* If you sanctify *

* Stay in school *

* Stay right there *

* Ohhh *

* K-Doe *

* Oh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe, what ya gonna do? *

* What ya gonna do, K-Doe? *

* Ohhh! *

* Stay *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher *

* And learn the golden rules *

* Think that

You are too late *

* You don't have to *

* See, your mama

And your daddy

* Gonna head home *

* And learn the golden rules *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Come on, children *

[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]

* Children *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the *

* Heyyy, hey, hey *

* Hey, hey *

* Children

* They don't know *

Happy Here and Now (2002) - full transcript