Happy Here and Now (2002) - full transcript

MAN:
Assume the future
is bigger than you are.

Near it, somewhere...

everywhere...

people are channelin'
themselves through machines...

talkin' without eye contact,
without touchin'.

Somewhere along the line,
a new wrinkle comes into it.

Becomes possible...

to project an image of yourself
as you talk.

An image that doesn't
necessarily correspond

to how you look.

It doesn't look anything like
you really look.



In this future, you can choose
how you want to appear.

That's the form we take online.

An avatar, you know?

That's what it's called,
an avatar. From the Greek.

No, it's Sanskrit, isn't it?

Right.

But imagine you fell in love
with this image on the screen.

With you. You think
that's what's happening?

Imagine you fell in love.

A friend asked me
something strange today:

"How would you rather
think of your life:

as dust or as wind?"

Friend asked you that?

It depressed me.
A little.



I wonder why.

Listen.

Lemme tell you a story.

[SIREN WAILING FAINTLY]

[***]

We're on the first floor,
checking our extension.

All right,
upper end collapse.

Is he okay?

I'm fine.

I'm okay.

Okay.

We're opening up
the ceilings.

Whoa!

Amelia?

Bill Everson.

You sprouted.

All your aunt's photos
make you look tiny.

She asked me to pick you up.
You got any more luggage?

Here, let me
give you a hand.

No, thanks.
No, no, I got it.

[PLANES SOARING]

You haven't been to New Orleans
for a while, have you?

I've never been here.

Never been?

Well, you'll like it.

It's almost
entirely below sea level.

[***]

BILL:
French Quarter.

You've heard of
the French Quarter, right?

AMELIA:
Yeah.

Well,
this ain't the French Quarter.

BILL:
Hank Williams got married
around here.

Twice in one day.

Up ahead is Napoleon House.

Built for the emperor
of the same name.

We were gonna rescue him
from his island prison,

substitute a look-alike double,
bring the real guy here

and start a new French empire.

Well, he died
before it could happen.

It's a restaurant now.

But I prefer Bud's Broiler.

It's a chain of very slow
fast-food establishments,

usually located by cemeteries.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

Hey!

Phine, come on over here,
say hi to your cousin.

Hi, sweetie.

Hey.
Hi.

Miss me?

I hope you didn't mind

Bill pickin' you up.

You know how planes
make me nervous,

and Josie had to practice
her, uh-- Her solo.

The police haven't
turned anything up.

I'm taking that
as a good sign.

[PLAYING
EXOTIC MUSIC]

She wanted
to take a pilgrimage.

She's always asking me about
Mexico, Tibet and India

and about the sadhu...

the holy men that renounced
all worldly goods.

She was working herself up
to something.

I think she's okay.

How you doing there, Jo?

Good.

If she were in real trouble,
I'd feel it.

I wanna look for her.

I couldn't stay at home
not doing anything.

Dad's all shut down.

Doesn't talk,
goes fishing.

Felt like
I was going insane.

Well, Bill can help out.

He's part bloodhound,
and he used to work for the CIA.

Can I use your phone?

* Now here's a very nice dance
That we'd like to learn to do *

* It should come
Very easy to you *

* Just go from side-to-side
And... *

* And, uh, back and forth *

* And clap your hands
And so forth *

* And so on and ooh *

* That's kind of nice
Isn't it? *

* Really nice
Yeah, mm-hmm *

* Now here's a frantic
Dynamic romantic *

* Lil' ol' dance called... *

[***]

WOMAN:
She hadn't traveled much.

Not far from home,
and never alone.

The world seemed too big.

Filled with strangers.

[DOG BARKING]

She thought of
that Emily Dickinson poem

from her last week
of school:

"The brain is deeper
than the sea,

wider than the sky..."

something...something,
something.

It already seemed like
a long time ago.

[DOG BARKS]

[DOG BARKS]

Hi, Isabel.

We call him Karl,
Karl Barx.

Muriel spoke about you
a little.

[COOL R&B PLAYING]

A singer, is that you?

She said you had
a beautiful voice.

ISABEL:
Guys, this is
Muriel's sister, Amelia.

That's Peter.

And that's Quinton.
Mr. Quinton.

Quinton?

[DOG BARKS]

And that's Karl,
that handsome devil, our son.

[BARKS]

Don't be mad.

[DREAMY HAWAIIAN SONG PLAYING]

"On any trip, strangeness
is balanced by familiar things.

"And so it is in Hawaii."

Very private girl.

Withdrawn.
It's very sad.

Sometimes
she wouldn't say a word,

she'd just go up
to her room

and stay on her computer
all night.

All night?

She didn't sleep much.
None of us do.

"--shift and interplay.

"The voice of the island
speaks through the people,

"the wildlife,
and even the elements.

"The dramatic, the sentimental,
the savage.

"We do not merely listen
to the islands...

we are there."

This next song's about me
before I quit drinking.

It's not the sort of thing
you wanna say,

"Oh, yeah, that's me."

But it's a great song.

[FESTIVE HAWAIIAN SONG PLAYING]

This brings back memories

of when I was
first courting Isabel.

We used to go out to eat,
and I just couldn't say a thing.

I'd just sit there and push
my food around my plate.

Finally, I looked up at her
and said,

"I think I've fallen in love."

And realized I hadn't
made myself clear,

so I added "with you."

[PHONE RINGS]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]

MAN:
You don't want to
drink too much.

You're Tom, right?

Yeah.

I'm Hannah Webster.

Ritchie Webster's wife.

Widow.

I saw you at the funeral.

Have some cake.

Is it someone's birthday?

No. Jeff's wife just likes
to bake cakes.

You going to ask me
about my eye?

Which one?

I had laser surgery last week,
but it isn't healing.

Cornea's scratched.

It's very rare,
but that's why

they do the operation
one eye at a time.

Does it hurt?

I wanted to talk with you about
what happened when Ritchie died.

[ALARM BLARING]

[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER P.A.]

[SIREN WAILING]

[HORN HONKS]

Hi, honey.

You didn't have to wait up
for me.

Oh, no, I didn't.
We couldn't sleep.

We rearranged the furniture,
now, did you notice that?

The piano was against
the wall over there.

And, uh, we moved the...
um, table, and, uh...

And the...
This was, uh...the chair.

And then, when it was all over,
I just looked around me,

and I thought,

"Now, finally,
my life has order and clarity."

Everything is possible and new
because I moved the piano.

Did Muriel's friends
have anything to tell you?

Just that she liked her computer
more than she liked them.

Good night.
Good night, honey.

[UPBEAT BLUES PLAYING]

* Oh, tell me, babe *

* Whatcha got on your mind? *

* But don't you hear me cry? *

* Ooh, ooh *

* Ooh, ooh *

* Yeah, yeah *

I was reading this story...

about a guy...

who went into space
with the Russians.

Their whole space shuttle was
held together with duct tape.

The guy was
just Velcro'd in there,

waitin' for something
to go wrong.

G-7.

What?

G-7, check it out.

[HEAVY R&B PLAYING]

* I'm gonna do a little song
For you now *

* That'll make you
Clap your hands *

* Kick your feet
And as a matter of fact *

* It'll tear you up *

* La-la-la-la-laaaah *

* La-la-la-la-lahhhh *

* La-la-la-la-laaaah *

And so...

of course,
a fire broke out

aboard this Russian
death ship.

In deep space, Tom...

in outer space, if a fire
breaks out, what happens?

There's no oxygen.
It'd get snuffed out in no time.

Inside the ship
there's oxygen, Tom,

but no gravity.

Think about it:

the shape of a fire...

all the shifting points and
claws and tongues of fire,

like an animal.

Everything Heraclitus recognized
as the essence of life, in fire.

In outer space,
it's completely different.

In outer space,
a fire is spherical.

Like a little ball?

A fireball, right.
It's neat, huh?

Why are you bringing this up?

You're not interested?

No, I'm interested.

I just thought it'd be
a neat scene in a movie:

fire in outer space.

I've never seen it.

Because I'm gonna
finally do it, Tom.

I'm gonna make my movie.

Well, good.
In outer space?

Just one scene in outer space.
The rest in New Orleans.

A termite movie.

There might be termites in it.

People too.

Hey, kids.

I am going crazy.

My new boyfriend,
he brought over this TV set.

I haven't lived with a TV
for seven years.

Now it's on all the time,
and I'm watching it.

Can we order?

Of course.

Sorry.

Apple pie, heated,
à la mode, two scoops.

How about you, Tommy?

You gonna pig out
like your brother?

TOM:
Uh...sake.

Sake?

Right. You, uh,
see that on the menu?

A large sake.

Yeah, a little living large
these days.

TOM:
And, uh, sushi.

Great...

fine.

Deluxe sushi, mom, extra large.
And get yourself a sake.

We'll get drunk,
go back to your place

and watch TV.

[TRAIN WHISTLES]

[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]

Where's Muriel's computer?

You always sleep
with your clothes on?

Seriously, where is it?

Bill has it.

Bill?

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

What are you doing?

Would you know if I told you?

That's Muriel's, it's private.

The hard drive's been wiped out,

intentionally and completely.

Does that sound like something
your sister would do?

I mean, would she want
to erase herself?

Well, if she didn't do it,
who did?

Exactly.

But everything's not lost.

I picked up traces
off the Webcam.

Traces of what?

Bits and pieces.

I'm workin' on it.

BILL:
Have you seen this guy before?

No.

Just give me time.

I'll see
what I can scare up.

[PLAYING "TEQUILA"]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[BLOWS]

[BLOWS]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[TEARFULLY]
Okay, it's okay.

Let's keep on playing.

Let's keep on playing that song,
it's a good one.

[RESUMES PLAYING "TEQUILA"]

[CLASS BLOWS ON BOTTLES]

[HARD RAP MUSIC
PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

Whoa!

You okay?

Sweetie, we can wash
those clothes for you.

You don't have to keep on
wearing all that.

No, I'm okay.

I'll buy you some
flip-flops.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

BILL:
Hey!

I found something.

You might wanna come
and take a look.

The speed of light.

The speed of light is
186,171 miles a second.

BILL:
He's in Spain.

Or at least the satellite
is carrying him from Spain.

Do you know
anybody in Spain?

I don't think Muriel
knew anybody there either.

The speed of light.

The speed of light is
186,171 miles a second.

There's nothing faster
than that.

Not even in principle.

A moonbeam takes around about
a second to reach Earth.

Ka-boom.

My eyes,
lookin' at yours...

what's happenin'
as that happens?

We don't know.

Over a hundred years ago,

Nikola Tesla devised a way
of slowin' light down

to 38 miles an hour.

Think about that.

You could race a beam of light
on a bicycle.

When Tesla died,
he was workin' out a way

of slowin' light down
to 120 feet per hour,

the speed of a turtle.

Usin' Tesla's system,

you could trigger
a beam of light,

go out for a cup of coffee...

and come back in time to watch
the light

tap the other side of the room.

But Tesla...

was fanatically secretive.

He did all his inventin'
in his head.

Even so,
within an hour of his death,

the FBI busted into
his hotel room,

confiscated his papers
from a safe,

and handed 'em over
to the Pentagon.

What's my point?

Here we are,
drownin' in time and space.

Somewhere in the universe,
children are born,

bridges and sports stadiums
are constructed,

and a space shuttle uses lasers

to make a completely detailed
topographical map

of the planet.

But when I look
into your eyes...

is there any way
to understand that?

To hold it and keep it
and comprehend it?

And if I could touch you...

then it gets even
more complicated.

Which is why...

I prefer the old love songs.

You know the kind.

[COOL R&B PLAYING]

* I never met a girl
Who make me feel *

* The way you do *

* I never seen a girl
Who makes my dreams so real *

* The way you do *

* So fe-fi-fo-fum *

* Look out, baby
Here I come *

* I'm bringing you
A love that's true *

* So get ready
Get ready *

* Here I come *

* Here I come now *

* If you wanna play
Hide-and-seek with love *

* Let me remind you... *

I have that record.

That song,
that's a Wayne Cochran song.

But this guy dancing up there,
that's not Wayne Cochran.

The audio, the song,
is Wayne Cochran,

but this guy up here,
this is Ernie K-Doe.

He lives here.

In New Orleans?

Yeah.

You, you know, honey,

he was famous for that--
The "Mother-in-Law" song.

Right? He's got that club,
over on Claiborne.

Is that near here?

It's not far.

And he also used to DJ,
at, uh, WTUL, out in Tulane.

But that didn't work out

'cause he kept talking
about himself

over every song he played.

* All my friends
They gonna watch you too *

BILL:
All right.

Now we're gettin' somewhere.

And...

have you ever seen
the other guy?

The first guy?

No. Mm-mmm.

But you have leads. Huh?

Isn't that
what you call this?

Mommy,
I'm hungry.

Of course you are, sugar.
Come on.

Let's head home,
get something to eat,

and let Mr. Bill
follow his leads.

I'm gonna stay
a minute.

Stay for dinner.
I got some...

I got some crackers,
uh...somewhere.

I'd like to
see it again.

The whole thing, please.

[FOGHORN BELLOWS]

Do you know how much money

Thomas Jefferson paid
for the Louisiana Purchase?

You know, when the U.S. bought
Louisiana from the French,

they wrote out a check.

For what amount?

I'll give you a clue:
It was a bargain.

A lot of money,
but fair.

Fifty dollars.

Where are you from?

Macedonia.

Macedonia.

Do they have termites
in Macedonia?

I don't know. Probably.

So you have no experience
in termite control?

My family moved here
when I was 12.

I worked for Terminix
last spring.

I know about the chemicals.

You know about the chemicals,
that's good.

But if you worked
for my competitor last spring,

why aren't you working
for them now?

It was personal.
Personal reasons.

Nothing to do with termites.

Well, if I call these people up
and ask for a reference,

what would they say?

I was fired because I was in
love with the boss's wife,

and she was in love with me,
too, briefly.

Quinton?

Mm-hmm.

Well, Quinton...

I have to admit,
I feel some sympathy for you.

I feel as if I've been
in the same boat.

Have you heard
of Nikola Tesla?

Yeah, of course.

So you live here?

No. This is just
a temporary office

while we renovate.

We got a big place
by the river.

This is a client's house.

They have to clear out while we,
you know...fumigate.

Yeah. A lot of these big
old houses, like my house...

uh, they're empty,
so people just live there.

Yeah, well, with real estate
being what it is,

I can understand that.

Like I was saying...

what Thomas Jefferson paid
for the Louisiana Purchase?

Fifteen million dollars.

That's in 1803 dollars.

Multiply that by 157...

phhht.

But I wonder if he would have
paid so much money

if he knew less than
200 years later,

the Formosan termite
would invade from Japan,

eatin' its way through
every stick of wood,

every house,

every wooden structure
in the state.

Seriously, it's all being
fuckin' devoured.

Splinter by splinter.

These termites have
tiny double-decker wings.

Otherwise,
they're just one big mouth.

The whole point of that mouth
is to eat wood.

For me, the business I'm in
is what you call a challenge.

* Hey now, mama *

* You sure feed me good *

* Hey, mama *

* You sure feed me good *

* You know I like pork chops *

* And with some greens
We're good to go *

Don't even try
to buy me a drink.

I can buy my own liquor.

I might buy you a drink...

but I only accept drinks
from firemen.

Firemen?

That's right.

And you are not a fireman,
are you?

Well...
metaphorically, maybe.

Sorry, that's my new policy.

Are you brave?

Brave?

I try to be.

What happened to your eye?

Which one?

You've done this before,

haven't you?

In school a few times.

You didn't like it?

Hm. I was never that crazy
about being in my body,

but...I figured out
less complicated ways

of getting out of it.

Drugs?

Fishing.

[MODEM BUZZING]

I think I just wanna
do it straight...like Muriel.

Howdy, stranger.

Hi.

What do we have here?

I felt like talking.
Everybody I know is asleep.

I never sleep.

Things are so much more
interestin' when you're awake,

in my opinion.

Yeah, sleep's overrated.

It's just a bad habit
people have picked up

over 4000 years.

If you eat right,

exercise regularly,
sleep can be avoided.

Or if you take
the right pills.

What's your name?

Eddie Mars.

Eddie Mars.

Eddie Mars.

Eddie Mars.

That's my name.
Don't wear it out.

What's yours?

Muriel.

That's very nice.

Muriel.

All the same, I find your story
hard to believe.

No one else
you could call right now?

No one special person
in your life?

There are many people
in my life.

They're just all asleep.

You're married perhaps.

No, I'm too young.
Can't you tell?

I never judge a book
by its cover.

Sometimes a cover's
all you have.

They're not the most
interesting books, are they?

Besides, I'm not
much of a reader.

I'm more of a skimmer.

I read for contents.

What's your name again?

Muriel.

Right, Muriel.

I'm Eddie Mars.

Muriel,
do you believe in love?

Are you in love
with anybody right now?

Well...I just broke up
with my boyfriend.

So...I guess...

no, I'm not
exactly in love.

What are you gonna do?

About what?

What are you gonna do
without him?

Oh, that's why I came
to New Orleans.

Oh, you're in New Orleans.

I've heard of it.

Let me tell you
about Blaise Pascal.

It's a cool name,
isn't it? Blaise.

Blaise Pascal.

Sounds like an Italian cowboy,
but he was French.

A mathematician
and philosopher.

He invented calculus.

Thanks, Blaise.

And he was a very boring
character.

He never made love in his life.

And when he's sufferin'
from massive headaches,

which was most of the time,

he solved geometry problems.

I just had a sudden impulse
to hear a song.

You mind?

No, I don't mind.

[SNIFFLES]

"The eternal silence
of these infinite spaces

fills me with dread."

[ROLLICKING ROCK SONG PLAYING]

* Now, I know why Adam
Bit off the apple *

* And why man
Invented the gun *

* The kind of love
That you possess, baby *

* Make a cripple man
Get up and run *

* I got two jobs already *

* But tomorrow
I'm-a get another one *

* Because this sweet love
You give me-- *

[MUSIC STOPS]

Uh, did he break off on purpose?

Ow. Maybe he could tell
that you're trying to trace him.

Are you all right?

Oop--

Sit.

My foot fell asleep.

He had you on the defensive.

You've got to ask
more questions.

You've gotta keep him
on longer.

What's that place
that Lois said?

The Mother-In-Law Lounge?

How late are they open?

["UN BACIO E TROPPO POCO"
PLAYING ON RADIO]

PETER [ON RADIO]:
Word on the street
is that John Sinclair

set fire to his house so he
could have these musicians

get together
for a benefit concert.

I think
I started that rumor.

A lineup like this is worth
burning your house down for.

Kermit Ruffins
and the Barbecue Swingers,

Soul Remedy, Royal Fingerbowl,
Galactic, the Revealers,

Marva Wright, Soul Rebels,
Mutiny, MC Trachiotomy,

Iris May Tango, 3Now4,
Katey Red, Erma Thomas,

the Naked Orchestra,
Eddie Bo, The Meters,

Astral Project
and the Klezmer Allstars.

That's
1500 North Claiborne Avenue,

where you might just catch
the emperor of the universe,

Mr. Ernie K-Doe.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[CHEERFUL R&B PLAYING]

* Have no fear *

* Spread a little cheer *

* Have no fear *

* Spread a little cheer *

* Take me higher *

* Take me higher *

* Take me higher *

* Ohhh *

* Oh *

* Baby *

She's too young.

Relax. It's my night out.

She's still too young.

Give her a 7Up.

I'll have the same.

Is Ernie here?

There are three great stars
that I know

in the rhythm and blues.

That's Ernie K-Doe,

James Brown,

and Ernie K-Doe.

Of course someone is gonna try

to impersonate me.

I am a public figure.

This man is a legend.

Yes, ma'am.

You don't know these people.

I never have had
a flop-record in my life.

I don't what a flop record is.

Because I write from reality.

And when I wake up
in the morning,

I'm looking at a hit record.

I don't know these people.

I d-- I really
don't know these people but--

[CRUMPLES UP PAPER]

But I sure wish
I could help you.

Thanks a lot Ernie.

[MODEM SCREECHING]

[SCREECHING FADES OUT]
"You want to love me,"

her ex-boyfriend had said,

"but you don't know how."

["HANDA WANDA" PLAYING]

There was no answer for that.

No way to be clear
about what she wanted.

Or how love in her life
seemed like her sister:

abruptly lost.

[DOG BARKING]

Hi.

Anyone home?

Um, just me.

I'm looking for this guy.

Hey, this guy looks just like
me, don't you think?

No, not really.

Do you have any idea when
they'll be back?

They're walking the dog.

* Wham-ba-ba-lam *

Oh, I definitely I recognize
this guy.

* Wham, goddamn *

All right, wait right here.
I wanna show you something.

* Wham-ba-ba-lam *

* Wham-ba-ba-lam
Wham-ba-ba-lam *

[BARKS]

* Wham-- *

[SONG STOPS PLAYING]

This is for you.

Oh...

You don't even know me.

It's for you.

Thanks.

It's nice.

Don't try to kiss me, okay?

Who said anything
about kissing?

I didn't say anything about...
Anything about kissing.

You don't have to
say anything about it.

[STRANGE RHYTHM PLAYING]

I have a new job.
I've gotta get ready for it.

I don't have time to kiss you.

What kind of job
do you have?

Termite control.

But it could
spread into an acting job

in a movie for the Internet.

But I want to play you
this song.

Real quick. So shh.

[BIZARRE CHIRPS & THUDS]

[FALSETTO]
* Magic machine, magic machine
Magic machine, magic machine *

EDDIE:
It's a cool name isn't it?
Blaise.

Blaise Pascal.
Sounds like an Italian cowboy.

But he was French.

A mathematician
and philosopher.

He invented calculus.

Thanks, Blaise.

And he was a very boring
character.

He never made love in his life.

[COUGHS]

And when he was sufferin'
form massive headaches,

which was most of the time,

he solved geometry problems.

I just had an impulse
to hear a song.

[COUGHING]

You mind?

[BAND PLAYING FESTIVE MARCH]

Hi.

Howdy.

Remember me?

Sure, partially.

How you been?

Well, I've been taking
my medication,

but it doesn't seem
to be working.

My leg hurts.
I can't sleep.

I can relate to the last part,
the sleep part.

What you do today?

I was babysitting.

That's good,
you're a babysitter.

Yeah, I was hanging around
with my friend Amelia.

She's 16.

And Josephine,
she's eight.

And we came to the conclusion
that eight-year-olds

have a lot more fun
than most people, older people.

You wish you were
eight-years-old?

Feel like I am eight-years-old
most of the time.

No wonder you're having trouble
with your boyfriend.

He shown up yet?

No, he's supposed to step back,
remember? Way back.

You miss him.

MARS:
Don't start crying again.

Don't worry, I wont.

Let me tell you a story.

Okay.

MARS:
Right...

There was a woodcutter,

once upon a time.

And he had a ring of trees.

He'd get up everyday,
chop away.

That was his world,
his life.

He was happy.

One day,
he heard a bird singing

high up in one of the trees.

He stopped, listened.

It was the most beautiful thing
he'd ever heard.

He fell in love with the bird.

He decided, of course,
he'd have to have it.

Tried climbing the tree

where the bird was.

The bird just moved to another.

You are all right?

Yeah.

Anyone there with you?

No.

Are you gonna finish the story?

The woodcutter chased the bird
from tree to tree.

Pretty soon he realized
it was hopeless.

The bird could read his mind.

Soon as he moved from one tree,

the bird jumped to another.

The woodcutter was miserable.

Couldn't go back
to his old life.

He cursed the bird.

He cursed the bird. He thought,

"I wish I'd never seen you
or heard your fuckin' song

"'cause now, without you,
my life is hardly worth living.

I was better off
before you showed up."

So he went back
to his woodcutting.

There was nothing else to do.

Went back to his woodcutting,
but now he was shut down,

focused, no distractions.

Chopping away like mad.

And one day,
choppin' wood,

the blade of the axe
flew of the handle,

and struck
a branch high overhead.

And the bird,
who was sitting on the branch,

fell down and landed

right in
the woodcutter's hand.

And the bird was dead.

What?

MURIEL:
Killed by the axe.

Of course not, it was fine.

It lived, and the woodcutter
kept the bird.

Well, I don't know.

You don't know?

Well, that's not the point
of the story.

Well, then enlighten me.
What is the point?

EDDIE:
If there were a point,

there wouldn't be a story.

[PHONE RINGING]

[SWITCHES CLICKS, STATIC BUZZES]

Hello.

You're here? All right, hold on.

Just hold on.

Bring your friend.

[STATIC SILENCES]

Howdy.
Hi.

Eddie Mars.

Thank you for coming.

This is Isabel.

Hi, Isabel.

Um...come on in.

Nikola Tesla, having faked
his own death in 1944,

escapes with his unpatented
genius ideas

and settles
in the Texas desert.

West Texas, in a ghost town
named Mohidas, okay?

Now, around 1972,

his experiments lead him
to the first success

in the cloning of human beings.

He clones himself, okay?

Now, Tesla, now
100-something years old,

he can recite
logarithmic tables,

but he's terrified of germs,

spherical objects
and all contact

with human flesh.

Okay?

All right, this is
where our story

really kicks in.

Tesla and the clone
both go to New Orleans.

Tesla on a mule, and the clone's
pushing a shopping cart.

They meet this stripper
at Cafe Brasil.

Part-time stripper/waitress,
you know?

And since, after all,

they are actually
the same person,

Tesla and the clone
both fall in love with her.

Tesla and the clone, who doesn't
actually know he's a clone,

both fall in love
with the same woman.

ISABEL:
Yeah,

Quinton explained all this.

You did?

Yeah,

it's good.

Yeah, I like it.

Is this the set?

Uh, partially.
This is the tesla coil.

Have you acted much before?

ISABEL:
Um, musicals mostly.

And theater.

Um, I have a radio show, but I'm
tired of being just a voice.

Are you gonna shoot
on video or film?

What's the difference
to you, personally?

Well...

You think video is cheap
and insubstantial, don't ya?

Yeah, sort of.

Here's the thing:

A hundred years ago,

you could go see elephants
on stage in Aida.

That's a Verdi opera.

Live elephants.

Or you could go to the corner,
watch a little flicker of lights

on something
called a nickelodeon.

You see, opera, the stage,
had the blockbuster mentality.

Movies were just a novelty.

And now it's like
you go to the movies to see

the elephants, the sinking
ships, the explosions.

And you go to the Internet
to see people

talking and living.

The Internet is
the new hub of the wheel.

The Internet's the future.

I'm gonna meet my wife
on the Internet.

Our children will be educated
on a free and informed society

thanks to the Internet.

All our needs and dreams
will find fulfillment

on the Internet.

This movie,

this story,
will be seen by millions...

on the Internet.

Do I have to take
my clothes off?

Yeah, partially.

MAN:
Well, my house is gone,

my record collection is gone,

but I've still got my friends,

and I gotta say this:

These are some great musicians
and some great people.

And I can't thank everybody
enough for helpin' out.

At this time, ladies and g's,
without further ado,

let me introduce to you
the man they call

The Emperor of the Universe,
and the prettiest man I know,

with his band, Blue-Eyed Soul,
Mr. Ernie K-Doe!

[CHEERING & WHISTLING]

WOMAN:
Yeah!

Thank you.

Heads up, fellas!

[BAND PLAYING
"CHILDREN OF THE WORLD"]

* Heyyy *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* You better listen to me
And your teacher *

* Learn *

* The golden rules *

* Know why I must talk
To the postman *

* The president and the mayor *

* Talk to your governor *

* Your parents
And your teachers *

* Wherever they at *

* Oh, stay *

* Now, stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher
Right, today *

* Learn the golden rules *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Yeah *

* K-Doe *

* I'm K-Doe *

* Ahhh *

[K-DOE SINGING INDISTINCTLY]

* Oh, yeah *

* Children *

* Wherever you come from *

* If you sanctify *

["CHILDREN OF THE WORLD"
CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

Mind if I join you?

I'm sorry I couldn't talk
the other night.

Can't talk here either.

I just wanted to say,
um, goodbye.

Okay.

Is he gone?

Yeah.

* Get it on *

* Get it on *

* Oh, get it on *

* Ohhh *

There's a story...

I was reluctant to tell you.

A few years ago...
there was a woman.

She lived in Seattle.

And she disappeared.

Her husband called the police.

There was no trace of her.

They looked
into her computer,

and she had wiped out
the hard drive...

and she had trashed
all her files.

You're unraveling.

Spare him.

AMELIA:
Are you gonna finish the story?

Story?

The story you didn't
wanna tell me.

Oh, right.

Okay.

The missing woman.

A systems expert went
into her computer,

sifted through the rubble,

and he found
extensive correspondence.

She was e-mailing
a man in Alabama.

It was one of those
S & M relationships.

It's a secret life

that her husband
knew nothing about.

She arranged
to meet this man,

the idea being

she was gonna
allow herself

to be tortured to death.

This is what she said
she wanted,

and this, it turned out...

is what happened.

The FBI...

they flew into
this little town in Alabama.

And the man confessed.

And they found the woman's body
buried in the woods.

But Muriel wasn't sick.
She was just depressed.

I wasn't talking
about Muriel.

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

The Chinese wouldn't be
doing it for 3000 years

if it didn't work.

I'm taking classes.

[STOPS PLAYING]

Don't talk much, do you?

[PLAYS BITTERSWEET MELODY]

[WHIRRING, BEEPING]

[STATIC BUZZING]

"When I consider
the short duration of my life,

"swallowed up in the eternity
before and after,

"the little space
which I fill

"and even can see,

"engulfed in the infinite
immensity of spaces

"of which I am ignorant
and which know me not,

"I'm frightened

"and I'm astonished at
being here rather than there,

"for there's no reason
why here rather than there,

"why now rather than then.

"By whose order and direction

have this place and time
been allotted to me?"

You've changed.

It's a strange book.
It's so old, but...

Blaise, my darlin' boy,
man of a million headaches...

I've been thinkin' about you.

I wanna talk
without illusions.

Honestly. And truly.

Where do we start?

We should meet face to face.

Café du Monde in a half-hour.

I got something
cookin' tonight.

Big night. Can't budge.

This is important.

Sure, it is.
Important and impossible.

Why impossible?

Well...

I look...

slightly different
for one thing.

I think I can handle that.

Well, I'm not sure that I can.
What do you look like?

Did you read the part
where he gives his theory

on the cause
of all the world's troubles?

The basic cause
why the human race is unhappy.

"All our unhappiness,"
he says,

"comes from our inability
to sit quietly in one room."

And even if we could
sit quietly in one room,

our mind scratches and claws
and screams to get out.

Right?

Your mind's always measurin',

wishin', regrettin'.

Is there a solution?

Love?

Are you kiddin'?

I don't know.

Well, when you're in love...

you become selfless,

transparent, that's the idea.

But we live in our bodies.

And what did Blake say?

"The body is the soul perceived
by the five senses."

But if I could touch you
or kiss you...

would we know each other
any better?

I'm just askin'.

Café du Monde in 15 minutes.

I'll buy you a beignet.

'Cause even though
I despise Plato

and blame him for almost
everything wrong with this...

so-called modern life,

the way you and I talk now is,
in some neo-platonic way, pure.

The way love is delusional
but pure,

as it gives you a way
to find yourself,

yourself reflected
in another person,

as if you could reach
through this mirror

and find your best self
on the other side.

Stop chewin' at your thumb.

Why do you always do that?

Why are you always gnawin'
at yourself?

What are you, malnourished?

I'm looking for my sister,
Muriel.

I think you knew her somehow.

[SNIFFLES]

I just wanna know
if she's all right.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

You're early.
Sorry.

Sorry.

We're excited.

Coffee and doughnuts
are here.

[COUGHS]

You can change back there.

Tesla will be here soon.

He looked spooked,
wouldn't you say?

He did, except...

that evidently,
he doesn't look like himself

as we know him, so...

there's no way to really tell
conclusively how he looks...

or how he feels.

Except he ran.

Now, that's fairly
incriminating.

He knew her.

He knows why and how
she's missing.

I got a gut feeling.

I'd like to pistol-whip
the fuck, you know?

Just to cut through
all this bullshit.

Yeah.

And then you can take him
to Café du Monde.

I thought you liked him.

Yeah.

I think he's cute.

I think I can see
what Muriel saw in him.

I mean, that's what
I was thinking when...

I don't think
he'd really hurt her.

You traced him.

I've narrowed down
the coordinates.

He lives by the river.

He won't talk with us--

Well, with you again.

This is the only card
left in the deck.

I don't believe this.

You don't make
the rules, kid.

But-- There's no proof.
There's no proof

that he had anything
to do with Muriel,

except that he talked to her
on the computer.

And he was just lonely.
Is--? Is that a crime?

I put some of my medicine
in your drink.

You'll sleep good.

And when you wake up...

everything's gonna be okay.

Don't worry.

I'll find him.

This next number
is for Isabel,

in honor of her movie debut
at this ungodly hour.

She's got
the Jessica Rabbit part

in a little local
semi-pornographic film,

so she tells me.

Puttin' the "show"
back in "show business."

[OSCAR MACK'S "DREAM GIRL"
PLAYING]

* Darling *

* You're so wonderful *

* And you're the girl
Of my-my dreams *

Okay.

Uh, if you don't mind,
Tesla,

um, the other Tesla's
gonna sit there.

All right.

Okay, we're almost ready.

Listen, while I'm shooting,
I'm gonna be playing loud music.

A lot of people do it this way.

Uh, D.W. Griffith
did it this way,

It's just a way
of getting you into the mood.

We'll just
dub the dialogue later.

All right.
So everything's clear?

Uh-- Remember,
you don't know he's a clone,

so when the electricity
comes on...

Maybe we should go over
that part again.

I'd like that.

I also.
Me too.

Where are your gloves?

I-I don't know.

Okay.

Just don't touch the coil.

[BEEPING]

Caress her.

[DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING]

No! You're blocking--
You're blocking her.

Kiss her shoulder.

[ZAPPING NOISES]

[SCREAMS]

[SIGHS]

[TIRE POPS, SQUEALS]

Back up.

[BEEPING]

[***]

[FUN R&B PLAYING]

* I never met a girl
Who make me feel... *

I'm looking for my sister.

Downstairs, baby.

She went downstairs.

Go on.

It's all right.

Go on, girl.

You're lookin' good.
Very good.

[TRAIN RUMBLING]

[***]

Eddie?

[COUGHING]

Eddie's
still inside.

[COUGHS]

Eddie?
This is Tesla.

Well, I got something
for him.

[COUGHING]

[ZAPPING]

Eddie?

Eddie?

[***]

[GUNSHOTS]

[***]

[GUNSHOT]

[ALARM BLARING]

[BARKING]

[***]

[DOOR OPENS]

[COUGHING]

[EDDIE COUGHING]

[COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[COUGHS]

Hello?

Hello? Amelia?

Honey?

Honey, wake up.

Wake up.

Oh, God,
what happened, honey?

MURIEL:
I used to wonder,

if I disappeared,
what difference would it make?

What consequences would follow?

And what would change?

If I could escape...

or if I could wake
from my life like a dream.

[***]

Man is only a reed,
the weakest thing in nature...

but he's a thinking reed.

There's no need
for the whole universe

to arm itself to crush him.

A vapor or a drop of water
is enough to kill him.

But even if the universe
were to crush us...

we'd still be more noble
than our destroyer...

because we know we're dying

and the advantage
the universe has over us.

The universe knows
nothing of this.

[K-DOE'S "REAPING WHAT I SOW"
PLAYING]

* Ooh, ooh *

* Ooh, ooh *

* I've cried and I've cried *

* So very hard *

* Until myyy
My-my-my pillow got *

* Soaking wet *

* This I believe I'm reaping *

* What I sow
Oh, honey *

* I'm just a-reaping *

* What I've sown *

MURIEL:
"It is through thought
that we must elevate ourselves

and not through space and time,
which we can never fill."

[***]

These words reached me
at a time

when everything in my life
seemed to be moving too fast.

[WIND CHIMES TINKLING]

And no one could touch me...

when I needed to be comforted.

And to know...

that what really matters
is close at hand.

I'm coming at you
at this moment.

Now.

[COUGHING]

Now.

Now.

[ERNIE K-DOE'S
"LOVE IS ALL RIGHT" PLAYING]

* Love is all right *

* Love, love
Love is all right *

* Love *
* Oh, love *

* Is all right *
* Oh, love is all right *

* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* Now, when I met you, baby *

* I wanted to die in pain *

* You made my life
Worth living *

* Girl, you made me
Who I am *

* My happiness was in prison *

* But you came
And set free *

* My love, love, love, love
Love for you, baby *

* What your love
Has done for me *

* And I said, love *
* Oh, love *

* Is all right *
* Oh, love is all right *

* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* You get some in your body *

* It puts you in a groove *

* It puts music in your bones *

* And it makes you wanna move *

* It makes a weak man strong *

* And a blind
A blind man see *

* Now, look, look, look, look
Look what your, baby *

* What your love
Has done for me *

* And I said, love *
* Oh, love *

* Is all right *
* Oh, love *

* Is all right *
* Is all right *

* Yeah, yeah *

* It's all right
It's all right *

* In the mornin' *
* It's all right *

* Love is all right *
* It's all right *

* In the evenin' *
* It's all right *

* Love is all right *
* It's all right *

[MUSIC FADING, CROWD CHEERING]

Okay, heads up, fellas.

[ERNIE K-DOE'S "CHILDREN
OF THE WORLD" PLAYING]

* Heyyy *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* You better listen to me
And your teacher *

* Learn all the golden rules *

* Knows why I must talk
To the pope *

* The president and the mayor *

* Well, talk to the governor *

* Your parents
And your teacher *

* Wherever they at *

* Oh, stay *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher
Right, today *

* Learn the golden rules *

* Oh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Hey, hey, hey, hey *

* K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* Stay in school, children *

* Yeah, children *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Stay right there *

* Listen to your teacher *

* Learn the golden rules *

* The captain, the Baptist *

* The seven days in a week
Wherever you are *

* But stay *

* Stay in school *

* If you sanctify *

* Stay in school *

* Stay right there *

* Ohhh *

* K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Oh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe, what ya gonna do? *

* What ya gonna do, K-Doe? *

* Ohhh! *

* Stay *

* You gotta stay in school *

* Listen to your teacher *

* And learn the golden rules *

* Think that
You are too late *

* You don't have to *

* See, your mama
And your daddy

* Gonna head home *

* And learn the golden rules *

* Ohhh, K-Doe *

* K-Doe *

* Come on, children *

[SINGS INDISTINCTLY]

* Children *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the world *

* Children of the *

* Heyyy, hey, hey *

* Hey, hey *

* Children

* They don't know *

* They don't know *

* They don't know *

* They don't know *

* They don't know *

* They don't know *