Happy Death Day 2U (2019) - full transcript

Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resynced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick.

Shut up!

Oh, hey. You're up.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if you,
you know, wanted to...

sleep in or not, so...

Am I in a dorm room?

Uh... yeah.

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone. ♪

Where are my clothes?

O-On the dresser.



I... folded your pants
last night,

and I wasn't sure
if that... material

- gets wrinkled.
- Great.

Uh...

don't know if you remember
my name or not.

- Uh, pretty wasted last night.
- Got Tylenol?

What?

My head is killing me.

Do you have any Tylenol?

Yes.

I do.

Uh, sorry.

Thanks.

I'm Carter, by the way.



Not a word of this
to anyone. Got it?

Yeah. Sure.

Dude, did you hit
that fine vagine or wha...

Nice one, dickhead.

Yeah, that'd be fine.

Hey.

Stop global warming? I...

- Oh.
- Oh!

- Come on!
- ♪ On the wall, 63 bottles of beer ♪

♪ On the wall, 63 bottles of beer... ♪

26 hours, that's all you've got?

♪ Bottles of beer on the wall ♪

- I can't hear you!
- ♪ 62 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 62 bottles of beer ♪

♪ You take one down,
pass it around ♪

- Keep going!
- ♪ 61 bottles of beer on the wall... ♪

Hey.

Hi.

You haven't...
returned any of my texts.

Yeah. Sorry, I've been busy.

Yeah. I can see that.

Okay, Tim, we went on a date.

One.

I don't have to text you back.

We're not, like, a thing.

Okay. I just...

you know, I figured
we had a nice time...

You had a nice time.

I was miserable.

I mean, who takes
their first date to Subway?

It's not like you have
a footlong.

Does this look infected to you?

Ew!

Someone drank my kombucha.

Oh, my God.

You sneaky little beyatch.

Who was it?

Nobody.

Sisters don't keep secrets.

- Seriously, it was nobody.
- Well,

I hope "nobody" used a condom.

We don't want "somebody"

- looking like a whore.
- Thanks, Danielle.

Super helpful.

What are sisters for? Oh.

And don't forget,

- house meeting at lunch.
- Living for it.

Hmm.

She finally rolls in.

Did I totally embarrass myself
last night?

Not at all.

Unless you consider dancing on
a table, starting two fights,

and barfing pretzel chunks
all over the bar embarrassing.

Please tell me you're kidding.

Oh, and you also rammed your
tongue down Nick Sims' throat

right in front of Danielle.

Oh, God,

but she was so nice to me
this morning.

Yeah, I think she was
as drunk as you last night,

so consider it
collective amnesia.

Oh, thank God for that.

Oh... crap,
I'm so late for class.

Can't find my damn book.

Ha!

Did you really think you
could keep it a secret from me?

- How did you find out?
- Driver's license.

Not the best picture,
I might add.

- I assume you changed my ringer, too.
- Who, me?

Never.

What'd you wish for?

- A new roommate.
- Wench.

Uh... I made that from scratch.

Sorry. Too many carbs. Toodles.

Locomotive response

in the subject shows
an acceleration

across the quantum plane.

This creates
great orbital overlap

between the partially positive
beta carbon...

and the partially negative
hydrogen alkali group.

♪ ♪- Thanks.

Get your school spirit on
before the big game.

Ten percent off
with your student ID.

And we still need to pick
this year's charity.

I can say right now,
there's no way we're doing

the Special Needs
Art Fair again.

Totally freaked my shit out.
Thoughts.

What's wrong?

Oh, I don't know.

What's wrong, Tree?

Nothing. Except
for that cat lady buffet

you just dumped at our table.

And is that
chocolate milk I see?

I missed breakfast.

What is breakfast, Becky?

- Oh! I'm sorry.
- Oh, asshole!

- I'm sorry, Tree.
- Wait,

you two know each other?

- Yeah, I...
- No.

We had a...
a class together last year.

Look, I was...
bringing you this back.

Sorry, I didn't know
where you lived, you know?

I...

Yeah.

I'm sorry again
about the... the mess.

What a douchebag.

Dr.
Lawrence to outpatient services.

Dr. Lawrence
to outpatient services.

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone ♪

♪ Yeah, it's my birth... ♪

Lori. Hi.

Hi.

Um... so, I thought
you only worked nights.

Doing a double for Jen.
She has the flu.

- That's nice of you.
- So, I guess I don't need to ask

what you're doing here.

Gotta go.

Look, Tree...

it's none of my business,

but... I think
something like this

is bound to have some
pretty serious consequences.

You're right.

It is none of your business.

Dr. Surd
and Dr. Margolan, 2476.

Dr. Surd
and Dr. Margolan, 2476.

We can't do this today...
there's too much

going on in the building.

I have patients.

And I'm losing mine.

Gregory?

- Hey.
- Hey, sweetie.

What's with the door?

Oh, stupid thing got jammed.
Oh, just wrapping up here.

Have you met my student, Teresa?

No. I haven't.

Hi. It's nice to meet you.

Thank you so much
for helping me out.

This is a nice surprise.

Nathan's been acting

really strange
since our big fight,

and this morning
he drove to Atlanta

for a last-minute
business meeting

- about opening a new gym.
- - Enter.

Which is weird, because
I've never heard anything

about it before.

But I'm trying
not to let that bring me down.

- Is that my top?
- How cute is it on me?

Whatever. Just don't get
anything on it, please.

You mean like
Nick's Nutter Butter?

Wow. How's he, Danielle?

What time you going
to the party tonight?

I don't know. Later.

Our tuition dollars at work.

Anyhoo...

don't be too late, or all the
cute Sigma boys will be taken.

Okay. Bye-ee.

- Bye-ee.
- Who took my hairdryer?

Crazy bitch.

Teresa, it's Dad.

I sat in that restaurant
waiting for you

for over an hour.

I can't believe
you would do this to me,

today of all days.

- Whoo!
- Oh, yeah!

How you feel, baby!

Hey, come on!

Okay, you guys are hilarious.

You can come out now.

Losers.

Yo, I think your friends

went the other way.

Can I help you?

Look, weirdo,

I'm not scared.
Why don't you go try this

with one of the heifers
at Delta Gamma?

They're into cosplay.

Okay, I'm calling the cops.

Shut up!

Oh, hey. You're up.

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday... ♪

Yeah, I wasn't sure if you,

you know, wanted
to sleep in or not, so...

Oh.

Right. Yeah.

I folded your pants...
for you last night,

and I wasn't sure if...
the material gets... wrinkled.

Uh...

I don't know if you remember
my name or not.

You know, you were...
pretty wasted last night.

But, uh...

- I'm... I'm...
- Carter.

You remembered.

- Uh, Tylenol?
- What?

Oh, my head is killing me...
do you have any Tylenol?

Oh, uh... yes.

Um...

It's over there.

Right.

It's under your clothes,
on... on the...

- Okay.
- Right. Right.

Ah, thanks.

And...

It's like
you've been here before.

Are you okay?

Tree?

Are you okay?

Dude, did you hit
that fine vagine or wha...

Ooh.

I'm... I'm sorry.

Nice one, dickhead.

Hey.

Stop global warming? I...

Um, sorry, no, thanks.

- Oh.
- Oh!

Come on!

♪ 64 bottles
of beer on the wall ♪

- Please! I'm soaked!
- ♪ 64 bottles of beer ♪

♪ You take one down, pass it
around, 63 bottles of beer ♪

♪ On the wall, 63 bottles of beer... ♪

- ♪ 63 bottles of beer ♪
- 26 hours, that's all you've got?

- Keep going!
- ♪ 62 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

- Faster!
- ♪ 62 bottles of beer on the wall ♪

♪ 62 bottles of beer ♪

- Keep going!
- ♪ You take one down ♪

- I can't hear you!
- ♪ Pass it around ♪

♪ 61 bottles of beer
on the wall... ♪

Hey.

You... haven't returned
any of my texts.

Tim, what day is it?

Uh... Monday the 18th.

You're sure?

I'm pretty sure.

I, um...

I gotta go.

Call me?

Oh, my God.

You sneaky little beyatch.

Who was it?

Sisters don't keep secrets.

- I'm totally having déjà vu right now.
- Oh.

I have it all the time.
It's supposed to mean, like,

someone's thinking about you
while they're masturbating.

I have it at least
five times a day.

Seriously, I've been having it
all day, it's so weird.

Maybe you should switch
to water next time, hon.

Uh, yeah, thanks.
I'll keep that in mind.

What are sisters for? Oh!
And don't forget,

house meeting at lunch.

Hello?

It's been on the board
since last Thursday, Tree.

Yeah, I remember. I...

Um...

She finally rolls in.

That's so weird.

You okay?

You were kind of a mess
last night.

Uh...

Oh, shit, I'm so late for class.

Did you really think you could
keep it a secret from me?

Don't you want to know
how I found out?

Driver's license?

Clever girl.

That picture, though?

I got to go.

But...

you-you didn't even
blow out the...

candle.

We really need
to step up our game

at these frat parties, okay?

And...

we still need to pick
this year's charity.

I can say right now
there's no way

we're doing the Special Needs
Art Fair again.

Get your school spirit on
before the big game.

Ten percent off
with your student ID.

T-shirts.

What's wrong, Tree?

Um, I'm just a little tired
I guess.

No, dumbass.

What's wrong with that?

So not Kappa cuisine.

And is that
chocolate milk I see?

I missed breakfast.

We all miss breakfast, Becky.

Becky.

Becky, look out.

I'm...

- so sorry. I'm sorry, Tree.
- Wait.

You two know each other?

- No.
- Yeah. I mean...

we had a...
a class together last year.

That's all.

I'm sorry about all this.

Hey.

What?

My bracelet.

Oh.

You know, I'm sorry again
about... you know, the mess.

What a douchebag.

Hey, we can't do this today.

There's too much going on
in the building.

I need to talk to you.

Tree, I...

I know what you're gonna say.

You do?

Look, it's normal

for a young girl to have
feelings for an older man,

but you can't fall in love.

I'm not falling in love
with you.

You're not?

No. I've been having
the weirdest day and... mmm.

Your wife.

Uh, that's kind of a buzzkill.

Gregory.

Are you in there?

Thank God you locked the door.

Hey, sweetie.

Uh, I didn't realize
I'd locked the door, um...

uh, just wrapping up here.

Have you met my student, Teresa?

No.

I haven't.

Nice to meet you.

♪ Happy birthday to us ♪

♪ Happy birthday to us. ♪

My favorite girls.
Blow it out.

There you go.

- Dad, what's up?
- You guys,

I think I just spotted a bug.

- Where? - Right there. See?
- Take a look. Mm-hmm.

- Mom...
- And Mom goes in for the kill!

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, no.

- Oh, no!
- Do you know...

Don't look at me.

Oh, I guess I'm

not having leftovers.

Last minute
business meeting about opening

- a new gym.
- I know.

I'm just borrowing it
for tonight.

What time you going
to the party?

To let that
bring me down, because...

Hello?

- Earth to space bitch.
- What?

What time
are you going to the party?

Uh, f... I don't know. Later.

Our tuition dollars at work.

Okay, whoa.

Chill out. It's just another
rolling blackout, sweetie.

- It happened before?
- Yeah.

Like, two weeks ago.

Anyhoo...
don't be too late

or all the cute Sigma boys
will be taken.

Who took my hairdryer?

Teresa, it's Dad.

I sat in that restaurant
waiting for you for over an...

Yo, Mike.

Come on, hurry up, man.

Hold up.
I'm coming.

Here we come!

No way.

Uh...

Surprise?

What the hell, Tree?

Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

I thought that you...

I am so, so sorry. I...

Don't mess with a Kappa bitch.

♪ Don't fail me now ♪

♪ Feet, don't fail me now ♪

♪ Don't fail me now ♪

♪ Feet, don't fail me now ♪

♪ Fresh suit, alligator shoes ♪

♪ Did you get the news
about me? ♪

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

That slut.

- Who?
- Lori.

She said she'd be here.

She's so out of the house
next year.

I think she said she had,
like, a double shift.

Whatevs. She's been boning
some mystery guy.

There's your stalker.

He's so hot.

- Danielle!
- What?

That is so gross.

Oh, okay.

♪ I'll get you dancin' ♪

Cheers?

Hi.

Why were you wearing
that stupid mask anyway?

The big game's on Friday,

I just thought I'd show
a little school spirit.

Never thought
I'd get clocked for it.

I really am sorry.
Did you ice it?

It's fine.

You can make it up to me later.

What?

Don't "what" me.

You know exactly
what you're doing, Tree.

What am I doing, Danielle?

Danielle.

♪ Now, now,
how am I gonna lose ♪

♪ I been movin' like this
since I was two ♪

♪ Down town
I'm fadin' into you... ♪

Nick?

Wow.

Je...

Oh, shit, Nick, you scared me.

You want me to punch you
in the face again?

Welcome...

to the Pleasure Dome.

It's a little loud,
don't you think?

Okay!

I'm officially over this.

Have fun in the Sahara Tent.

Come on, Nick, seriously,

Danielle's, like, freaking out.

Oh!

Help me!
Help me!

Oh...!

You asshole!

No!

What, is everything okay?

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone. ♪

What's...

I mean, I don't know if you
remember my name or not.

- You were...
- Pretty wasted?

Yeah.

Uh...

- And your name's Carter.
- Yeah.

And we've never met before.

I mean, no,
not until last night.

Oh, my God, this is a nightmare.

I'm sorry.

You were the one that
wanted to come home with me.

Dude, did you hit that fine vagi...

Nice one, dickhead.

Stop global warming?

A simple "no thanks" would do!

26 hours, that's all you got?

Keep going!

♪ 62 bottles of beer... ♪

I can't hear you!

Hey.

You okay?

You haven't returned
any of my texts.

She finally rolls in.

Hey, you okay?

Tree?

Tree, what's wrong?

Say something.

Lori, I...

I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I don't know
what's happening to me.

Okay.

Just calm down.

Tell me what's going on.

Look, I know this isn't gonna
make any sense,

but I have already lived
through this day.

Twice.

- Tree, I, um...
- No, no, no,

believe me; I know
it sounds totally crazy,

but this is happening to me,
I swear to God.

Tree, I'm sure it feels
like you're living through...

O-Okay, okay,
you made me a cupcake.

For my birthday, right?

You're about to give it to me
and then later on tonight,

there's a surprise party.

Who told you?

- Was it Becky?
- No, no, nobody told me.

That's what I mean.
Don't you see?

I know what is going to happen
before it happens.

- Just...
- Lori.

Lori, somebody's
gonna kill me tonight.

Oh.

Okay.

Okay, I get it.

Who put you up to this?

- Was it Danielle?
- No, no,

no, this isn't some stupid joke.

This is actually happening
to me.

I don't know
who's going to kill me,

but someone is, I just don't
know who it is yet.

- I...
- Tree, you're starting to freak me out.

Well, how do you think I feel?

Tree, look at me.

Nobody is trying to kill you.

- Yes, they are, Lori.
- Tree, look at me.

I know that today's hard
with your mom and all.

Why don't you skip class?

Just... take the day off
and get some rest.

I promise you,
you'll feel better tomorrow.

Okay?

Let's see you
get in here now, asshole.

Tree?

Why is the door locked?

Um, I-I just need
some alone time.

What time you going
to the party tonight?

I don't know.

Our tuition dollars at work.

Anyhoo...

don't be too late
or all the cute Sigma boys

will be taken.

Okay, see you soon.

Who took my hairdryer?

Opening a new gym.

Which is weird, because
I've never heard anything

about it before.

But I'm trying not
to let that bring me down,

because I'm on my way
to pick up Jace.

I'm just happy

you're gonna
see Jace this morning.

- I know.
- It's been, like, almost a month.

He's gonna be
so excited to see you.

Where'd Lori put
the frickin' remote?

- Hi, Jace!
- Hey, Jace!

Hey!

- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm Barbara.

- I am Crystal.
- Hi.

Nice to meet you.

- Can you say bye to Mamey?
- Bye.

Stay buckled and have a good time...

G-48!

Ain't that great!

- G-48!
- G-48!

I don't know what's going on

with you and that
other guy, okay?

Is being treated for a gunshot wound

following a deadly shootout
this morning

that left one officer dead.

Tombs was the subject of...

Do you go through
a can of hairspray

trying to get that full,
volumized look?

Then bump it up

with Bumpits...

and get that salon-style look,

flat to fabulous, instantly.

Imagine being able
to create today's hottest...

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my...

Aah! Aah!

What's wrong?

What's going on?

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta... ♪

- Ow.
- Tree? Are you okay? Are you sick?

- ♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪
- Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

- ♪ And I ain't gotta... ♪
- Shut up!

Oh, my God, make it stop,

- make it stop, make it stop.
- Are you okay?

- Get away from me!
- All right.

Come on, just...

- Oh.
- Oh!

♪ Bottles of beer ♪

♪ You take one down,
pass it around ♪

- ♪ 61 bottles of beer on the wall ♪
- Louder!

♪ 61 bottles of beer
on the wall ♪

- ♪ You take one down, pass it around ♪
- I can't hear you!

I'm sorry.

You... forgot your stuff.

♪ You take one down,
pass it around ♪

- ♪ 60 bottles of beer on the wall... ♪
- Help me.

Will you please stop
staring at me

like I took a dump
on your mom's head?

I'm sorry.
I'm... just trying to...

wrap my brain around this.

How's that going for you?

Assuming that I believe any of
this is even remotely possible,

there has to be a reason
you're stuck in this day, okay?

Out of all the days
of your life,

what makes this day special?

What gives this day meaning?

- Nothing.
- ♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone. ♪

It's your birthday?

Yeah.

- Hello?
- So? Birthdays are just excuses

to, like, eat cake
and open presents and shit.

There's no real meaning
behind a birthday.

No, it's symbolic, okay?

Whoever's killing you
knows it's your birthday.

All right, look.

Give me a list of names

of everybody who knows
it's your birthday

and whoever's trying
to kill you.

Well, thanks to my sorority,
pretty much the entire school

knows it's my birthday.

They're throwing me this stupid
surprise party tonight.

I mean, it literally
could be anyone.

I mean, who has motive?

Okay, maybe it's Danielle.

- All right.
- Apparently, I made out with some guy she liked

right in front of her
last night.

Oh.

Oh. Must have been
before we met.

Busy night?

Okay, Mr. I'm Gonna Take
This Drunk Girl Home

and Take Advantage of Her,
don't judge.

For the record, I didn't take
advantage of you last night.

Okay? I slept on Ryan's bed.

So, w... we didn't...

- have s...
- No.

You were wasted last night.

And I was afraid
you were gonna fall

or choke on your own vomit,
like Janis Joplin.

Uh, wh... what were we...

- Suspects.
- Right, suspects.

Um, okay, so Danielle.

There's... Gregory.

Um, his wife.

Creepy Tim.

Oh. Um, that tiny girl from
T.J. Maxx that I got fired.

And maybe the Uber driver
that I spit on last week.

I think his name was...

What? Nobody's perfect.

Okay, this isn't helping.

This is pointless, isn't it?

All right, look,
the way I see it is-is...

you have unlimited amount
of lives,

so you have unlimited
opportunities to solve

- your own murder.
- So I'm just supposed to keep dying

until I figure out
who my killer is?

- That's your genius plan?
- Do you have a better idea?

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Ha ♪

♪ It's time for me to take it ♪

♪ I'm the boss right now ♪

♪ Not gonna fake it ♪

♪ Not when you go down,
'cause this is my game ♪

♪ And you better come to play ♪

♪ I used to hold
my freak back ♪

- Yo, Tim! You coming out?
- ♪ Now I'm letting go ♪

♪ I make my own choice,
bitch, I run this show ♪

♪ So leave the lights on,
no, you can't make me ♪

♪ Behave ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ So you say ♪

♪ I'm complicated ♪

♪ That I must be ♪

♪ Outta my mind, but you've ♪

♪ Had me underrated ♪

♪ Rated, rated ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ha,
what's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong
with being confident? ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ha ♪

♪ What's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong with being,
what's wrong with being ♪

♪ Confident? ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ha ♪

♪ It's time
to get the chains out ♪

♪ Is your tongue tied up? ♪

♪ 'Cause this is my ground ♪

♪ And I'm dangerous ♪

♪ And you can get out,
but it's all ♪

♪ About me tonight ♪

Hey!

♪ So you say I'm complicated ♪

It's so exhausting.

Asshole!

♪ But you've ♪

♪ Had me underrated ♪

♪ Rated, rated ♪

- You bitch!
- Ow!

I knew it was you!

♪ What's wrong
with being confident? ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ha ♪

I'm gonna kill you!

♪ Ah, ah, ha ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ So you say ♪

♪ I'm complicated ♪

♪ But you've had me
underrated ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah,
what's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong
with being confident? ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ha,
what's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong with being ♪

♪ What's wrong
with being confident? ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Ah, ah, ha ♪

Oh, my God. Becky?

Becky.

Becky! Becky?

- Shut up!
- Ow.

♪ Yeah, it's my
birthday, and I ain't ♪

- ♪ Gotta pick up the phone... ♪
- Oh, hey. You're up.

Yeah, I wasn't sure if you
wanted to... sleep in or not.

Your plan totally sucks.

What?

I don't know if you remember
my name or not.

You know, you were...
pretty wasted last night.

Um... but I'm Carter.

Are you okay?

Never better.

- Are you sure you're okay?
- Yeah, I'm-I'm fine.

Dude, did you hit
that fine vagine or wha...

'Sup? Hey, um...

I'm sorry to bother
you guys, uh...

Uh... Carter?

Please? A little help? Carter?

Tree.

Hey, hey, hey. Calm down.

It's-it's just me.

How you doing?

What... what happened?

You... you collapsed
this morning.

What day is it?

Uh, it's Monday.

What's the date?

Uh, it's... the 18th.

Oh, we've been trying to get
in contact with your parents,

but for some reason...

- Geez!
- Can I help you?

Uh, I'm just...

- I'm checking on her.
- It's okay.

- He's a friend.
- Sorry. Visiting hours are over.

Got it.

Thanks, Carter.

Feel better.

When can I get out of here?

Uh, I'm having a hard time
pulling your medical records.

Why?

We just got these back
from imaging,

and these are signs of...

major trauma.

I mean, given the severity
of the scar tissue

and the size of the lesions...

This is gonna sound
crazy, but...

technically...
you should be dead.

Hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What are you doing?

- I need to get out of here.
- No way.

No, you need to stay here
for observation.

If I don't get out of here,
I'm gonna die.

- I need to go...
- Tree, Tree, shh, shh.

Listen to me.

You are absolutely safe here.

Okay.

I won't let anything
happen to you.

I'm really thirsty.

Could you get me a soda?

Sure.

Thank you.

Special delivery.

Keys, keys, keys.

Shit.

Oh, Gregory, where are
the car keys? Come on.

Tree, Tree, it's okay.

It's okay.
It's just me.

Gregory, look out!

No.

No!

Oh, my God. Come on.

Come on, no.

Oh...

No.

I did it.

I did it!

Yeah!

Catch me now, bitch!

What?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Come on!

No!

Oh, sh... shit!

Shit, shit, shit.

I know I was speeding, Officer.

- I just...
- Turn off the engine, please.

Yes, Officer.

License and registration.

I, um...

I don't have it.

Pardon me?

He's trying to kill me again.

- Again?
- Yes.

I mean, no, I me...

he was trying before,
but this time I got away.

But I-I-I didn't have time
to grab my clothes

and my driver's license
is in my pocket.

Ma'am, are you under
the influence of alcohol

or any other
controlled substance?

No!
That is what I'm trying to...

Wait.

If I am, does that mean that
you're going to arrest me

and lock me in a jail cell?

That's how it usually works.

I'm drunk.

You are?

Wasted.
And I'm high.

You know, pills, weed.

You name it, man, I'm on it.

Uh, well...

then I'm gonna put you
under arrest.

That's a good idea.

Let me help you.

Um, all right.

You know,
never been arrested before.

Uh-huh.

- Thank you!
- All units,

we got a 187
at University Hospital.

Suspect is believed...

No!

Shit. Oh, God, get me out!

Get me out, get me out!

What do you want?!

Why are you doing this to me?!

Who are you?

Show your face, you pussy!

Where are you going?!

Oh, shit!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, hey.

- You're up.
- Silence!

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone. ♪

Wait, you been here before?

Hey, uh, you know,
I don't think you should be

taking that many.
I mean, you could...

you could die.

If only it were that easy.

Water, por favor.

Come on.

- Here you go.
- Mm.

Ah.

Dude, did you hit that...

Hi.

I'm the so-called fine vagine.

And if that's the way
that you refer to girls,

you and your hand
are going to have

a very lasting relationship.

Have a nice day.

What?

I mean, are you...

you always this charming
in the morning?

Mm. Just this one.

So were you having a bad dream
or something?

Sorry?

You were just... screaming

- before you woke up.
- Oh.

Well...

I was dying.

Again.

What?

Uh, it's a long story.

Well, I mean,
I-I've got, you know, time.

I'm not doing anything today,
if-if you want to...

Seriously?

I hate this sticker.

Hey, wait!

Why are you following me?

I... I want to hear your story.

Look, no offense,
but the last time

I explained it to you,
it got me nowhere.

So...

"The last time"?

Hey.

So you're-you're having
bad dreams.

I took an elective course
on neurocognition

- in dream content.
- Mm. Hooray for you.

I'm just saying, I-I...

I might be able to help, you know?

Can you help me stop reliving
the same day over and over,

only to be murdered by someone
I may or may not know?

Yeah. Thought so.

- Stop global warming?
- Mm.

So, wait, you literally think
you're reliving the same day?

Yep.

And somebody kills you?

Yep again.

♪ ...bottles of beer ♪

All right, come on. You're
just messing with me, right?

Sprinklers.

Oh!

Car alarm.

Run!

Now, see that pledge over there,

the one in the baseball hat?

He's going to fall
right... now.

- Keep going!
- Hmm.

Any questions?

♪ ...bottles of beer
on the wall... ♪

How are your fries?

- Yeah, they're good.
- Mm.

Mm.

- That's... impressive.
- Mm.

That was nothing.

- Did you get it all out?
- Whatever.

You won't remember it anyway.

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone ♪

- It's your birthday?
- ♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ Can't you just leave... ♪

It's your dad. Do you want
to... want to get that?

I was never close with my dad.

Can't even remember
the last time he called me

on my birthday.

Kind of always forgets.

Yeah. I'm supposed
to be with mine.

I don't know.
I couldn't bear the thought

of sitting through another
uncomfortable celebration

while we both pretend
that everything is awesome.

Are you closer with your mom?

Was.

What happened?

Oh. She...

Yeah. Three years ago.

I'm sorry. That...

that-that sucks.

Yeah.

We actually share
the same birthday, though.

Seriously?

That's crazy.

Yeah, when I was a kid,

I always got to skip school.

We'd go to the beach.

My dad would buy us
this, like, huge birthday cake

and put just one candle on it.

We'd blow it out together.

I bet you miss her.

Yeah.

You know what's funny?

You relive the same day over
and over again,

you kind of start to see
who you really are.

If my mom saw me now,

you know, who I've become,

I don't think
she'd be very proud.

Don't say that.

It's true.

I'm not a good person, Carter.

Maybe this is karma.
Maybe I deserve it.

Well, look, I don't...
know you all that well,

but it's never too late
to change.

I mean, especially
if what you're saying is true.

Each new day is...

it's a chance
to be somebody better.

See, that's just it.

I don't think
I have that many chances left.

I keep on getting weaker
every time I come back.

You know, maybe I'm like
that cat with nine lives.

Eventually, I'm gonna run out.

Let's go live now to
Bayfield University Hospital,

where Jennifer Tran
has the latest

on this developing situation.

I'm standing outside the
Bayfield University Hospital,

where suspected murderer
John Tombs is being treated

for a gunshot wound,
following a...

Can you turn that up, please?

That left one officer dead.

Tombs was the subject of
a nationwide manhunt that ended

- after a five-month pursuit across four
- What's going on?

- State lines that left six female victims.
- Tree.

Authorities are still not sure
if Tombs is responsible

- for the murder of more than a dozen
- Oh, my God.

Other victims he's claimed
to have buried across

- the vast desert of Arizona...
- He's been here the whole time.

What? Tree!

Hey...

Tree!

He's going to escape!
Call the police!

- Who?
- John Tombs. Just call the police.

- What?!
- Wait, don't go in there!

Shit.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

He has a gun!
He has a gun, run!

Come on, come on.

Hey!

Carter!

Stop!

Stop it right now!

Hey!

No.

No.

Carter!

Ah!

No!

There's nowhere to hide,
little girl!

Ow...

Carter.

If I don't reset this day,
he's gone forever.

Should've killed me
when you had the chance.

Come on.
Olly, olly, oxen free.

Hey!

See you soon, asshole.

- ♪ It's my birthday... ♪
- - Oh.

Oh, hey. You're up.

Hey, I wasn't sure
if you wanted...

I can't believe
you tried to save my life!

Thank you so much!

Yeah.

Yeah, no biggie.
I just, you know,

brought you home.

Uh, I don't know if you
remember my name.

Carter.

Yeah.

You...

- I...
- Oh!

Do you mind if I borrow this?

Uh...

Yeah, yeah.

Sure.

See you at lunch.

Dude, did you hit
that fine vagine or what?

You naughty, naughty boy!

Fine vagine out!

What just happened?

♪ I've got my love stuck
in my throat ♪

♪ In my throat ♪

♪ I left my love
out in the cold ♪

- Hey. Stop global warming?
- Sure.

♪ I've got to give my love ♪

You save that planet, girl.

♪ I've got to give my love ♪

- ♪ To my soul ♪
- Yo!

Sprinklers are about to go off!

- Oh.
- ♪ My angel flew away ♪

You're welcome!

♪ I didn't know how
to keep her ♪

♪ Heaven knows
I needed her to stay ♪

I can't hear you!

♪ Take one down,
pass it around ♪

♪ 62 bottles of beer
on the wall... ♪

♪ To a song I couldn't sing ♪

♪ But if I saw her
on the street ♪

♪ I'd say, my baby ♪

♪ Fly back to me... ♪

Oh, Tim!

I know you're back there.

Hi, Tim.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Uh, you haven't returned
any of my texts.

Look, Tim, let's get real.

I know you don't like girls.

Stop trying to be
someone you're not.

Love is love, right?

Now you go out there
and get yourself

a fine piece of man ass.

♪ 'Cause I've got my love stuck
in my head ♪

♪ In my head ♪

♪ I've got to give my love ♪

♪ To my soul ♪

♪ And let go ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

Good morning.

♪ And let go. ♪

Oh, my God.

You sneaky little beyatch.

His name's Carter.

No, we did not have sex,

but if I finally make it
through this day somehow,

I'm gonna have his babies.

Lots to do; gotta go.

She finally rolls in.

What's wrong? Ugh...

Um, nothing.

No, it's...

Look, Lori,

I have been the worst roommate.

You've always been there for me,

but I've been way too selfish
to even appreciate it.

Can we start over?

I promise not to be
such a loser.

Are you high?

On life.

Oh! By the way,

I want to hear about
this mystery guy.

When extreme agitation occurs,

locomotive response
in the subject shows

- an acceleration...
- Dr. Butler.

Can I have a word, please?

What the hell do...

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

I'm ending this.

Wait, what?

I never should've
started seeing you.

It was wrong,

and I...

Anyway, I can't change
what I've done,

but I can start trying
to be a better person today.

What lame little self-help book
did you get that from?

You know what?

You have a wife
who loves you so much.

So if you can't
be faithful to her,

at least have the balls
to leave.

Don't expect me to let you
coast by in my class now.

Already dropped it.

I just have to say

how totally sad
and disappointing it is

when certain people
can't be bothered to make it

to a mandatory house meeting.

We were supposed to be picking
this year's charity.

Becky?

Is that chocolate milk I see?

I skipped breakfast...

Oh!

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm!

Oh, my God! That is so good.

What's up with the fat fest?

We're Kappas.

Come on, hon, live a little.

Few calories won't kill ya.

No.

It'll just turn me
into a chunker.

Like Becky here.

Okay.

Oh, my God!

You'll be okay!

Hey, Tree?

Hey.

Just, uh, coming by to...

What was that for?

I have to run, but what are you
doing later tonight?

Nothing.

Do you want to take me out
for my birthday?

What's the punch line?

Look, I know it's really random,

but I promise I'll explain
everything tomorrow.

Assuming there is one.

Just say yes.

All right. Yeah.

Yeah.

Great.

Excuse me.

Can I pay for my coffee, please?

You're not gonna eat?

No, just the check, please.

I'll be right back.

Hi, Daddy. Sorry I'm late.

Like your tie.

Thanks.

How's school?

Fine.

Like your classes?

They're fine, Dad.

I don't want to do that anymore.

Do what?

Small talk.

It's just that...

this day...

this day is really...
hard for me.

And, um...

I miss Mom.

You know?
I miss her so much.

I miss the way that she smells.

I miss that crazy horse laugh

she has.

Yeah.

Me, too.

And I...

I guess I thought that if

I avoided all of it...

if I avoided you...

that somehow it would be easier.

But it's not.

It's been so much worse.

All of this running and hiding
has made me so miserable.

And I think
I finally figured it out.

For me, it took something,
like, totally crazy, but...

but I'm here.

And I love you.

And I am so, so sorry
that I hurt you.

Happy birthday, baby.

Stay calm.

I need you to stand up.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Okay, good.

Okay, this-this is
a really bad idea.

Okay, well, so is dying
for the 16th time.

Okay.

Now turn around.

I need you to listen to me.

He's going to escape.

We can talk about this.
Just put the gun down.

He's going to escape.
Go get help.

- Go!
- Okay.

I know you're not asleep.

Open your eyes.

Safety's on, little girl.

Ah, ah, what do we have here?

Hmm?

You know, real nice surprise,

you coming to visit me
like this.

Whew. I like you.

Damn shame.

But you're a feisty
little shit, ain't you?

That's right.
Crawl, little girl, crawl.

Or...

I'll just make this one
real quick for you, okay?

Hey!

Safety's off.

Thanks for the tip.

Who took my hairdryer?

So, this has got to be, like,

the strangest birthday
you've ever had, huh?

You have no idea.

Did you ever figure out
how Tombs got free?

No.

No one knows.

It's kind of like Houdini.

Yeah.

I guess.

What are you gonna wish for?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

That's...

I mean,
isn't that kind of a given?

You want to aim
for anything higher?

No.

Tomorrow's good enough for me.

Shut up!

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

♪ And I ain't gotta
pick up the phone ♪

Oh, hey. You're up.

- ♪ It's my birthday... ♪
- Carter?

Yeah.

I'm surprised
you remember my name.

You were pretty wasted
last night.

This can't be happening.

This can't be happening.

- What?
- I killed him!

I stopped it!

Who?
What are you talking about?

What's going on?

I mean, look, you were probably

just having a bad dream
or something.

That happens to me all the time

when I'm drinking.
You know, I...

Nice one. Dickhead.

She finally rolls in.

Going somewhere?

Yes.

As far away as possible.

Tree, what's wrong?

Me. I was wrong.

I thought if I stopped running,
that I could beat it.

But it's never gonna stop!

Tree, you're freaking me out.

Oh, well!
That's me, a freak!

Tree...

Tree, look.

Happy birthday.

Thanks, but I already ate it
last night.

Oh, my God.

I died in my sleep.

What?

You killed me.

What?

You poisoned it.

But I never ate it before.

So you had to find another way.

Then Tombs fell
right into your lap.

Perfect scapegoat.

You had access to him.

Did you drug him first?

You knew that if he escaped,

everyone would assume
that he killed me.

But it was always you.

Tree, are...

is this a joke?

You think I would
actually try to poison you

with a freakin' cupcake?

Okay, then.

Prove it.

Go on, Lori.

Take a bite.

Go on, Lori.

You really are crazy.

Okay, then.

I'll take it down to the police.

I'm sure they can tell us

what your little
birthday treat is made of.

You stupid little whore.

I know I've been a bad roommate,

but isn't this a bit much?

What the hell?!

Oh, I don't know,

maybe because you wouldn't stop
sleeping with him.

What?

Gregory?

But he just kept choosing you.

Over me.

Guess all he wanted
was a cheap slut like you!

Wait.

You've been killing me
over some stupid guy?

Oh, that's not the only reason.

You're a dumb bitch, too!

But what I really want
to know is...

how did you figure it out?

Because you've killed me before.

Then I guess I'm just gonna
have to do it again.

Ow.

Ow! Ah!

No! Bitch!

No!

What the hell
is going on in there?

Nothing.

Tree just fell.

Everything's fine.

Whatever. Clumsy hoes.

I better see you
at the meeting today.

We'll be there.

Eat it, bitch!

What are you losers
doing in there?

Lori...

ate...

my cupcake.

I just knew there
was something wrong with Lori.

She never wore makeup,

never posted any cute selfies,

and she literally

owned a pair of Crocs.

All the signs
of a psycho killer were th...

Hello?

I'm trying to
get interviewed here.

Oh, my God, she is such a tool.

Anyhoo... Lori's little plot
was super lame.

Poisoning a cupcake?
Really?

We're Kappas.

We don't eat cupcakes.

- Is this local or national?
- ♪ It's my birthday ♪

- Local.
- ♪ And I ain't gotta... ♪

- Tree, honey, are you okay?
- Hey, Dad.

- Dad.
- Are you hurt?

Dad, no, Dad, I'm fine.

I promise.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah.

I'm just a little scratched up.

All right.

Okay.
I'll see you soon.

- I love you.
- I love you, too. Bye.

So, uh, now that your...

bedroom is officially
a crime scene and all,

uh, where you planning on
crashing tonight?

Is that an invitation?

You sure you want to wake up
in a dorm room again?

Only if it's yours.

Well, I mean, of course,

you'll have to
sleep in Ryan's bed.

- Of course.
- Yeah.

We can, yeah...

Oh, uh...

almost forgot.

You left this little guy.

Thanks.

You know what your little
scenario reminds me of?

What?

- Uh...
- What's that?

Groundhog Day.

The movie, Groundhog Day?

I don't know.

With Bill Murray?

Who's Bill Murray?

Are you kidding me?
Ghostbusters.

Sorry.

- I...
- How...

- I don't know.
- How do you sleep at night?

- You've never seen Groundhog Day?
- No.

♪ In walked old misery. ♪

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday ♪

- ♪ And I ain't gotta pick up the phone ♪
- Oh, hey.

You're up.

♪ Yeah, it's my birthday... ♪

I wasn't sure if you wanted to,
uh, you know,

sleep in or not.

Oh, my...

I'm kidding.

It was, it was me.

I just called your phone.

What?

It's Tuesday the 19th.

You made it.

Oh, my God.

You are such a jerk!

- I'm gonna kill you!
- Hey. That's not...

- What is wrong with you?
- H-Hey, hey. Hey.

That was not funny!

You are such a punk!

I hate you.

- She's back?
- Out.

I'm not sleeping
in my car again.

It smells like Hot Pockets
and feet.

Get out.

I just want clean underwear!

Yeah.

Subtitles by explosiveskull
Resynced by bozxphd. Enjoy The Flick.

♪ I was smoking
on a peace pipe ♪

♪ I've been wondering just what
would peace be like ♪

♪ I've been staring
into headlights ♪

♪ Swallow me whole ♪

♪ Finding my peace of mind ♪

♪ I'm just trying
to seize the moment ♪

♪ Trying to love
the little things ♪

♪ Even if they're
hard to love ♪

♪ A monument to love unspoken ♪

♪ Carved into stone,
"Unwilling to come undone" ♪

♪ It feels good to be running
from the devil ♪

♪ Another breath
and I'm up another level ♪

♪ It feels good to be up
above the clouds ♪

♪ It feels good for the
first time in a long time now ♪

♪ It feels good for the first
time in a long time with me ♪

♪ It feels good for the
first time in a while, too ♪

♪ Staring at the ceiling ♪

♪ Sending my love,
what a wonderful feeling ♪

♪ What comes next ♪

♪ I see a light ♪

♪ I'm along for the ride
as I'm taking flight. ♪