Happy Birthday, Toby Simpson (2017) - full transcript

The problem with meeting
the girl of your dreams...

is that at some point
you have to wake up.

And when you do,
you look around and wonder,

"How the hell did I get here?"

"And what am I
supposed to do now?"

"Go back to my life?"

What can it be?

It's quite small
so it's not a pushbike again.

I can hear a jangling,
so it's not empty.

Where did you get this
wrapping paper from?

It's amazing.
It's like covered in ties.



Is it a tie?

Wow! That is beautiful!

You hate it, don't you?

What do you mean "hate
it"? I love it!

I knew you weren't
going to like it.

I don't know why I got
it for you.

You never like anything
I get you.

Hannah, I love it.

Honestly, that is the best-looking

key ring I've ever seen.

It's not a key ring, Toby.

It is a solid silver keychain,

with my fingerprint
embedded on it.

I bought it because
I thought you might like



to have something to
remember me by,

seeing as how I hardly ever
see you these days.

Are you fucking somebody else?

Are you fucking your secretary?

I don't even have a secretary.

But you don't deny
you're fucking someone.

Yes!

"Yes" you deny it, or "yes",

you're fucking someone?

Hannah, I'm not fucking anyone!

Let's go for dinner
one night next week.

Just the two of us.

What's wrong with tonight?

I thought you were
flying tonight?

You could leave early
and we could go somewhere nice

on the way to the airport.

I've got my appraisal
this afternoon, so...

And?

And... I will see if I can move
it a little bit earlier.

That wasn't so
difficult, was it?

You see, the soap-on-a-
rope demographic...

Morning, Kate.

What time do you call this?

Apart from thirty-seven minutes
past eight?

Sorry, Terry.

And on appraisal day.

Yeah. About that.

I was just wondering if it
might be possible to move it

a little bit earlier?

Only I've got this
slight personal problem

that I need to sort out.

Well, nothing too
serious, I hope.

No, no, no. I just need to
take my girlfriend...

Good man! Then four o'clock it is,

as "arrange-ed."
Excellent.

Right...

What I don't
understand is why...

It's all over the place,

you know what I mean?

It's like you turn to your left,

and then you turn to your right,

and there's like, loads more,

which is like, absolutely...

stupid.

It's so stupid.

And I said this to Dan,
the other day,

and he was like
"What are you talking about?"

"That's so stupid".

Of fats using
metal alkalies... tick!

Whereas detergents
actually break down

the fat globules

and then wet the object to be cleaned

so that it can be
thoroughly rinsed... tick!

So, on the one hand, you have soap,

and on the other hand
you have detergent.

Though probably not literally.

Not literally, Toby.

Why would anyone
have soap on one hand,

and then detergent on the other?

They... They wouldn't.

No they would not.

Point six. Punctuality...

Sorry. Toby, am I keeping you?

I just promised to take my
girlfriend to the airport.

Oh yes. The stewardess.

Do you know what I think
our problem is, Toby?

Our problem...

is you just don't care.

Yes, I do.

Yeah, you care about
getting your girlfriend

to the airport on time

and you probably care about
getting out of here.

But the one thing
you should care about,

is the one thing
you don't care about at all.

Soap.

I love soap, Toby.

I love it.

I'm not ashamed to say it, in fact...

Do you know what?
I'm proud to say it.

I love soap!

I'm passionate about it.

You need to be, too.

If you want to succeed here,

you need to be passionate

about the product
you are marketing.

Yeah...

You need to wake up in the
morning like an evangelist...

or a missionary.

You need to be proud
to take the word of soap

to the stinky, filthy masses,

whether it\'s bar soap,
liquid soap, soap-on-a-rope...

It doesn't matter, Toby.

As long as
you're passionate about...

soap.

Okay?

Definitely.

Good man.

Maybe then we can start thinking
about your promotion.

All passengers waiting
for the 04:21

to Exeter Central
and the Lush Festival,

we regret to inform you

that this train has been cancelled.

There is, however,
a replacement bus service

leaving from the back
of the station now.

Baby, I need to go.

Okay, look.
I'll see you in twenty minutes.

Baby, go.

Now, hang up.

No, you...

Baby, come on.
Okay, one more...

I'll see you in twenty.

Yes, I love you too.

Now, go.

- Hi, Han.
- What's going on?

I thought you were
going to be here by now.

Yeah, so did I,

but I had my appraisal
this afternoon,

and Terry wouldn't let me go
any earlier, so...

You sound like you're in a pub.

Yeah, well, the train got cancelled

so I'm on a replacement coach.

Everyone else seems to be going
to that Lush Festival.

You're not going to be late, are you?

No, no, no.
It'll be fine, it'll be fine.

I'll just get a train from Bradbury.

Hurry up!

"Hurry up". Yeah, I'll...

I'll hurry up.

- Hi, Dad.
- So, how did it go?

Yeah. Good, I think.

Not "good", "well".
"It went well".

Sorry, it went well.

Did you tell them
you wanted a promotion?

- Not exactly.
- But you did hint at it?

Yeah. Of course I did.

Toby, you can't hint
at these things.

You have to say what you want.

People aren't mind-readers.

Dad, you do realise it's my
birthday today, don't you?

Of course I know it's your birthday.

That's why I'm giving you
this advice.

I'm trying to help
you, so that by...

- Dad?
- Yes? Toby?

I think I'm losing you.

We're just going through a tunnel.

- Toby? Hello?
- Dad?

- I'm losing you.
- Hello?

- I've lost you, Dad.
- Toby? Hello? Oh, bollocks!

Happy birthday.

Sorry?

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

Not having such a good one, eh?

Not really...

So I guess you're not going
to the festival then?

Nope.

You don't like music?

No, I... I like music.

So why don't you want to go?

- You don't want to know.
- Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

Yes, I do.

Okay.

Because I'm supposed to be

taking my girlfriend
out to dinner

and to the airport and if I'm late,

she'll rip my heart out
with her bare hands

and probably eat it.

And the way my day's been going,

I'd probably end up falling
into the toilets and dying

after being crapped on

by fifty thousand
stoned aromatherapists.

Please tell me you're not stoned...

No, I'm not stoned.

Well, I guess that's one thing.

Why? You don't like people
who get stoned?

I just don't like listening to
them talking complete rubbish

for hours on end.

And then there are
the more serious

side-effects of smoking dope.

Ah, you mean like...

losing your memory?

No, I mean juggling.

Right, here we go.

Yeah!

Sorry, you've just caught me
on a bad day.

Where... Where are you from?

Guess.

Poland?

No.

- Romania?
- No.

I don't know. I give up.

I won't let you give up.

Latvia?

- No.
- Bulgaria?

Nope.

Slovakia?

- No.
- Czech Republic?

Yo. It means "yes" in Czech.

I'm from Prague.

How long have you
been in the UK?

Three years.

Wow, three years?

Your English is amazing.

I practise.

I spent fifteen years learning French

and I can just about
order a coffee...

as long as there's no milk
or sugar involved, of course...

or water, for that matter.

Did you practise very much?

Non.

Well then.

So if you don't put anything in,

you don't get anything out.

C'est la vie.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see. I see.

So, what do you do

when you're not drawing pictures
of the devil?

Oh, well, I have a fascinating job.

Really?

Yeah. I do marketing...

for a soap company.

It's very exciting.

We don't just sell soap, of course.

We sell the whole range
of personal products.

Fascinating.

And do you know what
our best-selling aftershave is?

Macho for Men.

Yeah. It sells particularly well
in Saudi Arabia

where they buy it mainly

for the incredibly high alcohol-content.

They drink it?

Wow.

Well, I guess their breath
will smell nice.

You obviously haven't smelt
Macho for Men.

I am sorry!

Are you okay?

I'm fine. Just a little explosion.

What do you do

when you're not spray-painting
coaches with water?

Me? I'm an aromatherapist.

Right. Right, so when I said...

Yeah, that's me.

God, I'm so sorry.

Don't worry about it.

I promise not to crap on your head.

Well, thank you. That is...

That is very kind of you to say so.

My pleasure.

Well, it was nice meeting you.

You too.

Sorry if I was a bit grumpy.

You just caught me
on a really bad day.

Don't worry about it.
It was nice to talk to you.

You too.

What's your name by the way?
I never asked.

Toby. Toby Simpson.

I'm Renata. Renata Hlavacek.

Wow, don't you have vowels
in the Czech Republic?

Well, it is easier
if you see it written down.

Here. A little souvenir
for your wallet.

So you are an actual aromatherapist?

Yeah.

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

Oh, shit.

What?

- I've lost my wallet.
- Are you sure?

It's on the coach... Fuck!

But I looked on the seats.
There was nothing there.

Well, then someone stole it.
They must have.

I bet it was that guy
with the purple hat.

What guy?

There was a guy with a purple hat

and he was standing right behind
you as you were getting off.

I remember him staring at you.

Oh shit...

He's stolen my phone as well!

And my keys!

Hannah's going to kill me.

Well, come on then. Let's go!

Where?

To find him!

Oh, shit!

So then, when I got off
to get the train,

I realised my phone and wallet
had been stolen,

so now I'm just trying to find
the guy who stole them.

- Is it him?
- No, he's too skinny.

- So whose phone are you on now?
- What's that? I can't hear.

Whose phone are you on now?

No, nobody. Just someone I met
on the coach.

Come on, Toby. Hurry!

Toby? How do they know your name?

Look, I'll call you back
later, okay? I've got to go.

He must already have got in.

Shit!

Right, follow me.

What exactly are we looking for?

There's nobody here.

This is good.

What's good?

What about that is any good?

Now what?

When was the last time
you climbed a fence?

Oh no, no, no.
I am not going over that.

Look, do you want to find
your stuff or not?

I'm not going to find it at
some huge great festival, am I?

It's not a huge great festival.
It's a tiny little festival.

We can't just break into it.

We're not breaking into it...

You are.

What?

I have a ticket, remember?

I'll go first, and you look out.

For what?

Security. Come on, help me up.

Oi! Monkey boy!

Oh, shit.

- What?
- Get off the fucking fence!

They're coming!

- Come on!
- Oh, shit. Quick, quick, quick!

Shit! Shit!

Come on, next gate!

- Sorry.
- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay, you?
- I'm good.

Come on, let's go.

How do you even know how to do that?

Experience.

I thought you said
this was a small festival?

It is.

Glastonbury is ten times bigger
than this.

Remind me never to go
to Glastonbury then.

What else was this guy wearing?

I can't really remember
apart from the purple hat.

What about him?

Too blonde.

Wayhay! You suit-wearing wanker!

This is ridiculous!

He could be anywhere!

Look, I appreciate everything
you've tried to do for me,

but I just need to head back
while there's still time.

How? You don't have any money.

I don't know.
I'll just have to find a taxi,

pay at the other end,

and hopefully get a
key chain made

before Hannah gets back.

Do you want to borrow my phone?

Thanks.

- Yes?
- Hey Han, it's me.

Where the hell are you?

I'm really sorry, I...

I'm just getting in a taxi now.

But I'm afraid
dinner's going to have to wait.

I am so, so sorry.

Why can I still hear music?

Well, that's the funny thing.
I'm actually at the festival.

What?

Yeah, I know it's really strange.

But I will explain all
when I get home.

Hold on. Let me get this straight.

While I've been sitting at home
waiting for you,

you've been living it up
at a bloody festival?

I'm not exactly living
it up, am I?

Are you alone?

Yes.

Yes, I'm alone.

So what happened
to that girl you were with?

The one who knew your name.

She left ages ago. She was
just giving me directions.

Then why are you still
on her phone?

Toby?

She hasn't left, okay?

I just didn't want you
getting jealous.

Why would I get jealous?

You're at a fucking festival
with some other fucking woman?!

This is exactly what
I was trying to avoid.

Oh, was it? Poor you!

I'm going to be home in an hour,

okay, and I'll
explain it all then.

Don't bother.

My taxi will be here in
thirty minutes!

What happened?

She's getting a cab.

So what do you want to do now?

I want to find the guy
who stole my stuff

and rip his fucking head off.

You want any help?

No, I just want to be on my own.

How will you recognise him?

He's tall with a purple hat.

I mean, how many
purple-hatted idiots

can you find at one festival?

You might be surprised.

Hey, do you want me
to take your briefcase?

I can put it in the tent.

Yeah. Thanks.

But please...

Don't let anything happen to it.

I can't afford to lose this too.

I'll guard it with my life.

Thanks.

- You've got my card.
- Yeah.

So just call me
when you need me, okay?

Yeah, on what?

I couldn't borrow a tenner,
could I?

I really need a drink.

Here's twenty.

Thanks.

I'll pay you back.

Can I help you, mate?

Excuse me.

Yeah?

Remember me?

No. Should I?

I was on the coach.

What coach?

The coach that you
were on, remember?

I didn't come by coach.

Yeah, right. Look...

I just want my stuff back, okay?

What stuff?

Well, my keys, my phone, my wallet...

You know what stuff.
Look, just give it back.

You've fucking lost it, mate.

What's in your pocket?

Get the fuck off!

Just tell me what's
in your pocket!

I'm not telling you anything.

Give it back!

Get off me, you fucking suit!

Not til you give me
my stuff back!

Fucking idiot.

Toby? Can you hear me?

Toby?

Are you alive in there?

Just about.

You didn't pick up
my watch, did you?

No.

Bollocks.

So what have you been up to?

I went to see some bands,
danced a bit, you know.

How did you find me?

Well, someone found my card
in your pocket,

and called me.

And lucky for you, I answered.

Thanks again.

You know, if you want to
carry on dancing...

Don't worry about that,
I've danced enough for now.

Wow. This looks great.

It smells nice, too.

Ylang Ylang.

It's essential for aromatherapy.

Nice.

And what's this for?

Relaxation.

Getting rid of tension.

Aphrodisiac.

Is, erm...

Is that your Mum?

Yeah.

She's really pretty.

You sound surprised.

No, I didn't mean that.

I'm joking.

Oh, I've got this.

I bought it last summer,

but we haven't got round
to doing any picking yet.

Hannah's more Waitrose
than wild rose,

if you know what I mean.

Hang on, where's my briefcase?

It's under here.

Oh, thank God.

If I'd have lost this, that
would have really been the end.

See, I told you
it was going to be safer here.

Yeah.

Okay. Now, take your top off.

What?

Come on, Toby.

I'm not going to try
to have sex with you.

I'm just want to give you
a massage to help you relax.

Seriously, you don't need to do that.

Off!

And lie down.

Okay.

So how long have you been doing
massage for?

Three or four years.

And what did you do before that?

Oh, different things.

I mean, waitress, cutting hair,
a bit of everything, really.

Well, you're certainly pretty
handy at doing the old massage.

You all right?

Sorry. Yeah, I...

I'm just thinking about all the
grief Hannah's going to give me

when she finds out I'm here
having a massage.

I hope you don't mind
that I say this, but...

What?

Well, she sounds like
a complete bitch.

She's not that bad.

We're just different,
really. You know?

She likes shopping and make-up,
and designer clothes

and I... I don't.

What about you?

Have you... got a boyfriend?

Nope.

Not even back in Prague?

I'm a free spirit.

Maybe you should make it
into an aftershave, you know?

Like Free Spirit, fragrance for men.

I like that.

That is good.

That's really good.

Toby?

Can you hear me? Toby?

Wake up, sleepy head.
It's time to get up.

What time is it?

Five.

- In the morning?
- Yep.

Where did you sleep?

On the rugs.

I'm so sorry. I was out like a light.

Come on, hurry up.

Breakfast is almost ready.

I made some nettle soup.

Nettle soup, huh?

Yep.

Picked with my own hands.

Well, here goes.

Hey, that's not bad.

Not bad? It's delicious.

Okay. It's delicious.

It's just as well, actually,
because I don't think

I had anything to eat
last night.

Apart from a knuckle sandwich,
of course.

Well, there are plenty
of good stalls around,

so if you want something else...

I need to start thinking about going.

Oh, really?

That's a shame.

Yeah, but if Hannah knew
I was still here...

Yeah, but she doesn't know
you're still here, does she?

No.

So what have you got to lose?

If you go home without her
keyring she'll kill you.

At least...

if you stay and look for it,

you have a chance of finding it,
and not getting killed.

True.

Very true.

There's only one problem though.

What's that?

We didn't have enough wood
for the fire

so I kind of burnt your suit.

Perfect.

This isn't perfect.

I look ridiculous.

But how many times
do you get the chance

to look completely ridiculous?

Look around you.
Everyone looks ridiculous.

Do you know what's weird?

What?

How naked you feel

when you don't have
your phone with you.

It's like you've gone out
without your trousers on.

You definitely have your
trousers on, that's for sure.

Yeah. I think these
can be seen from space.

Hey, keep still.

The thief will never
recognise you now.

So...

why do you hate
juggling so much?

You really want to know?

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't like juggling

because it shows a complete lack
of imagination.

Just like the jugglers themselves.

You know, they think they're
being alternative and different

but they're all exactly the same.

You've got a little bit of...

Oh, thanks.

They all have tattoos.

They all wear the same baggy

trousers down around their ankles.

And they all smoke dope.

You know seriously,
one minute you're juggling

and the next, you're...

you're like him.

And he's having fun.

Yeah, it's probably something to

do with the huge
joint in his hand.

No, not the shirt!

Don't encourage him!

He probably hasn't changed
his pants in a month.

And so, did you ever get high?

Yeah.

At university.

Not since?

Not really.

I find it doesn't really go with
holding down a job.

Well, that depends on the job.

What about you?

Do you smoke?

Sometimes.

You know, I just have no desire
to get high anymore.

That's it.

If we're ever going to find the
man with the purple hat...

we need to get high.

But I don't want to get high.

Not that kind of high.
The other kind of high.

Woooo!

I'm on top of the world!

Woooo!

You should close your eyes though.

- I think I'm going to be sick.
- Does it feel weird?

I feel a bit sick. I feel a bit sick.

No, that's not good. I need to
be able to see the horizon.

That actually made me feel
a bit sick.

Did it? Does it feel like
you're floating?

No, it makes me feel like
I'm vomiting.

Wow!

This is amazing.
You can see for miles.

- No, don't rock!
- No, seriously.

Don't rock.

It says don't rock on the thing.

- Oh, wow.
- Oh my God.

Purple hat. Purple hat!

- Where?
- Just down there.

Come on, let us off!

- Okay, we'll just get off.
- Come on, we'll get off.

Come on!

Where's he gone?

Come on, come on! Sorry, sorry!

Come on!

Renata!

Renata!

Bollocks!

He's probably having
an Indian head massage

and has taken his sodding hat off.

Smell that.

Wow, that's really nice.
What is it?

Jasmine.

And what's that supposed to do?

Relaxing, getting rid of stress.

This whole aromatherapy thing
doesn't seem very you.

Why not?

Well, because you seem
quite grounded,

but aromatherapy is...

well, how to put it nicely...

not entirely proven to work.

Oh, it works all right.

No. What works is the placebo effect.

People feeling better

because they think
they're going to feel better.

But they still feel better.

Isn't that what everyone wants?
To feel better?

Come on.

Let's find the essence of magnolia.

And what does that do?

That depends.

What do you want it to do?

I wonder if I should
cancel my cards.

I wouldn't worry.

I'm sure they'll be insured.

You think?

Yeah, definitely.

You know, in Prague we have
pickpockets all the time.

And anyway, I'm sure we'll find them.

Even if we don't find the thief,

maybe we'll find some other people.

Some nicer people...

Why, you don't like
meeting new people?

Not that much. Not anymore.

You met me.

Yeah, and look at where that got me.

You know,
in the Czech Republic, we...

have a poet called Miroslav Holub...

and he wrote one of
my favourite poems, called...

"Jdi a otevri dvere".

Yeah. That's one of
my favourite's, as well.

In English, it means
"Go and open the door".

Sure.

And it goes something
like this...

- You ready?
- Hit me.

"Go and open the door...

Maybe there'll be a dog...

rummaging?"

Maybe.

"Maybe you'll see a face...

or an eye...

or a picture of a picture...

Even if there is...

only the darkness...

ticking...

Even if there is only
a hollow wind...

Even if nothing is there,
go and open the door...

At least there will be a draft."

Do you like it?

It's good.

It's very good.

I do prefer the original Czech,
of course.

I bet that was you, wasn't it?

What? Blowing bubbles?

Yeah, running around
without a care in the world.

Yeah, except I wasn't so pretty.

I don't believe that for a second.

You know, Hannah doesn't realise
how lucky she is.

You think?

Believe me, my grandmother
has gypsy blood

so I know this kind of thing.

So, which one were you?

Oh, I wouldn't have been there.

No. My Dad isn't really
the festival type.

If you think I'm straight,
you should see him.

Is he strict?

He's just got his
own special way

of how things should be done.

Such as?

Okay, well, last year,

I quit smoking after
about ten years,

and in all that time,

I never let him find out
that I was a smoker.

Because he would be cross?

No, not cross. Just...

disappointed.

So is that why you're selling soap?

So you wouldn't disappoint
your father?

What are you? Some
sort of shrink?

Well, is it?

I don't know. Maybe.

When I was younger and
I left school,

I wanted to go to art college,

but my Dad said
I should go to university

and get a proper job.

And are you happy?

I don't know. But...

My Dad was never
particularly interested

in being happy.

Yeah, but you're not your Dad.

No, I know, but you do try
to make your parents...

- Happy.
- Happy.

Does he love you?

Yeah. I think.

In his own strange way.

And do you love him?

Yeah. In my own strange way.

Do you tell each other?

What, that we love each other?

Please!

But we do do a very good line
in handshakes.

Very firm, very British handshakes.

Do you know Philip Larkin?

No.

He's one of our famous poets.

And he has a lovely poem

which goes something
like this...

"They fuck you up,
your Mum and Dad...

They may not mean to,
but they do...

They fill you
with the faults they had...

And add some extra, just for you...

That's another thing
I did at university.

Read pretentious poetry.

I think I prefer Miroslav Holub.

Yeah, me too.

Me too.

What about your parents?

I don't really have any.

Really?

Well my Mum died
when I was sixteen...

Oh God, sorry.

I don't really see my Dad anymore.

Why not?

Well, he married...

and his wife doesn't want him to
see me anymore, so he doesn't.

- God.
- Yeah, he's kind of an idiot.

Here's a question for you.

When do you think
you were at your happiest?

Okay.

When I was a little girl,
playing with my sister...

and we used to dress up
in my Mum's clothes

and play the Sleeping Beauty.

And because I was a real tomboy,
I always had to play the prince

and kiss her on the cheek
to wake her up.

And she never let me be
the Sleeping Beauty.

I kind of didn't mind it because
I liked being the prince.

What about you?

Travelling, I think.

I took about six months off
after university

and went travelling
all around South America,

going wherever I wanted,

sketching whatever I saw,
meeting whoever I liked...

Now I thought you didn't like
meeting new people.

I guess I did back then.

I was young and I was single,
and had money and...

I suppose now...

even though deep down

I know that the world
is still my oyster...

You know, it's like I've

forgotten the knife
that you need

to prise the bugger open.

And you know what the worst
thing is?

I don't know if I can
even be bothered

to go travelling again.

What?

Nothing.

I just don't know what I would
do without travelling.

Travelling is everything to me.

If I wrote down a hundred things

that I thought that I could do

by the time that I was sixty-seven...

would there be another list

of ninety-nine things
that I missed

just because I had a fear of failing?

Would I have walked
between two towers

just like the man on wire,

even though he had
a chance of falling?

Would I have opened up my soul

and let inside that deep dark hole

another human being
capable of calling me

back out...?

And we can watch movies...

And we can watch movies...

where all...

ends well...

We can drink coffee...

And we can drink coffee...

That's as far as I've got.

That was amazing.

You think?

Honestly, that was fantastic.

Well, you've got
hidden skills too.

No, I don't. Nothing like that.

Yes, you do.

No, I don't.

What about that drawing
you did on the bus?

That was nothing. That was
just a shitty little doodle.

No, it wasn't. I saw it.
It was good.

I thought you wanted to be an artist?

Yeah, that was like
a million years ago.

I haven't done
anything decent since then.

You know, you're a good artist.

But all you think of
is how terrible everything is,

and how shit you are.

If you want to be an artist,
be an artist.

If you want to travel, travel.

But don't spend your life
regretting everything

and saying how shit
everything is.

Just go out
and do something about it.

Do what you want

and stop feeling
so fucking sorry for yourself!

It's beautiful.

You know what
one of my favourite things

in the world is?

What?

That.

Vapour trails?

Uh-huh.

I love how you can see

something so far
away, without...

any clouds or any buildings
or anything else in the way.

Just that tiny little dot
that you can only ever see

on a crystal clear day.

Like kingfishers in Greek mythology.

What are kingfishers?

They're these beautiful blue birds

that Greek sailors believed
had the power to calm the seas

because they only ever saw them

on days where the sea
was completely calm.

So that's a little kingfisher
up there?

Yeah.

A tiny little kingfisher.

What shall we do tonight?

What are the options?

How about... dancing?

You don't like dancing?

No, I don't mind dancing.

It's just I prefer to do it
in the kitchen,

where nobody can see me.

Why? Are you about to tell me

that you're not very good
at something?

No, I'm just...

Actually, fuck it.

Let's do it.

But I do have one condition.

Hello.

Did you get it?

Of course.

What do you think I am,
some sort of amateur?

You're sure you want to do this?

Absolutely.

Smells good.

Tastes good too.

So how long should this take
to kick in?

Depends on how much you eat.

How about this much?

Do you think we could have
a lie-in tomorrow?

No.

Please...

The sun will come up again
another day.

No.

Why not?

Because I have to get
my flight tomorrow.

What flight?

To the States.

I need to catch my coach

at eight in the morning
to the airport.

I'm going to Santa Fe.

When are you coming back?

I'm not.

Are you joking?

No.

What?

Why didn't you tell me?

Would it make a difference?

What do you mean,
would it make a difference?

Of course it would make a difference!

I don't do one-night stands.

I don't go around fucking people

and just carrying on
as if nothing happened!

I'm sorry.

No, no, no. Fuck "sorry".

Fuck "sorry"! I...

I've just been unfaithful
to my girlfriend.

Do you know what that means to me?

Do you think I'd have done that
if I knew you were leaving?

Why didn't you just tell me?

What's in Santa Fe? Your boyfriend?

No.

A husband?

No, I told you I don't have anyone.

Then why do you have to go?

I'm sorry.

Morning.

You've been busy.

I don't know if you know this...

but there's nothing like
watching the sunrise

drinking hot nettle soup.

Is that so?

Yeah. A friend taught me that.

A good friend?

Quite good.

Can't remember her name,
of course, but...

lovely girl.

Beautiful smile.

Is that right?

You should see it.

It's like the sunrise.

Right, let's give this a taste.

This is really good.

I got some stock cubes
from those guys over there.

Oh, God. Are you sure
they were stock cubes?

Yeah. I was very specific.

Completely off their gourds,
but very nice.

So, I will help you pack.

Thanks.

You know, you don't have to
come with me.

The festival isn't over yet.

It is for me.

So what are you going to do?

I'm going to go home...

have a bath...

pick up Hannah from the airport...

and then join a conference call
with Saudi Arabia.

A perfect Sunday, really.

Come on.

Don't want to miss your coach.

Thank you.

I think this is yours.

I put something in it
to help you remember me by.

So I think this is it.

Yep.

Thank you for a wonderful weekend.

No, thank you.

Goodbye.

Happy birthday.

Hi, this is Hannah.

You know what to do.

Hi Han, it's me.

I'm really sorry,
but I'm not going to be there

to pick you up from the airport,
I'm afraid...

as I have decided...

to stay at the festival...

and not come back.

Look, the fact is,

I think it will make us both
happier in the long run,

so feel free to burn anything
that I've left in your flat.

Especially the suits.

Hi, Dad.

Just calling to say that
I've got a bit of good news.

No, I didn't get the promotion
that you were hoping for,

but I have resigned.

I just thought I'd take some
time off

to work out what I really want
to do with my life,

and I thought
where better to do that,

than in Vietnam?

Then I think maybe art school
or something like that.

I know it's not much of a plan,

but then sometimes
you just have to open the door

and see what happens.

I'm not sure exactly
when I'm going to be back,

but I'll let you know,
when I know.

And, one other thing...

I love you.