Hanuman.com (2013) - full transcript

Smoking is injurious for your health.

Smoking causes cancer.

Smoking is injurious for your health.

Smoking causes cancer.

With the dust of the
lotus feet of Sri Gurudeva...

I clean the mirror of my mind.

I narrate the scared glory of Sri Ram...

who bestows the four fruits of life.

Considering myself as ignorant,
I meditate on you Lord Hanuman.

Bestow on me strength,
wisdom and knowledge...

and remove my
afflictions and blemishes.



Tanu!

Tanu!

Do you hear me?

Do you hear me?

Wake up, it's late.

See what's the news headlines today.

Vajpayee's knee pain has aggravated.
Did you hear?

Doctors are coming...
- Arthritis.

Doctors are coming from abroad.

C'mon wake up. It's late.

I'm getting late. Wake up.
- Oh no!

Please wake up. I've got tea for you.

Let's not talk about pain, drink tea.

Wake up. C'mon wake up.



Did you add sugar to tea?
- What?

Did you add sugar to tea?

Haven't you read in newspapers that...

it's poisonous to
have sugar with tea? C'mon.

Don't start giving me
lectures early in the morning.

It's irritating.

I won't have tea without sugar.

Drink it, you'll like.

C'mon hold the cup of tea. C'mon.

Oh no! The tea is horrible.

I won't drink it.

You'll get used to it.

You're going back to bed. C'mon get up.
- Leave me.

Get up.
- I don't like this.

Listen, you'll get used to
it if you drink it daily. Drink it.

You'll get me habituated to poison also.

Evil man!

Don't use abusive words
early in the morning, Tanu?

Did I utter abusive words?

So, I'm abusive?

Did I utter abusive words?

Rogue! Get lost from here.

You don't have to do anything for me.

I'll make tea for myself.

How can I give you
poison with my own hands?

Good morning.

What's up, Mithilesh sir?

How is your geography class going?

Forget about geography class.

I know a dirty joke to share.
Shall I share it with you?

It's going to ruin my day.
- No. No.

You'll feel fresh.

The maid Kantabai...
- It's okay.

Wouldn't you like to know the
body parts Kantabai loved scratching?

I can guess. There aren't too
many places to scratch in the body.

Right. - I'll share the joke during
lunch break. Remind me, Anjani sir.

Putra.
- What?

Forget it.

So, you've started chatting.

Great!

We're talking to the mayor of
Reykjavik about the volcanic eruption...

that has stopped
international traffic.

What are your thoughts on that topic?

Well, considering the long
history of volcanic eruptions...

on this island this
is but a minor event.

And as you can see there is no
immediate effect on city of Reykjavik.

Actually we can't complain
about the calamity.

But there are people travelling
from Barcelona to Yera by taxi.

You see this is deeply regretted.

However, I would really like
to apologize for any inconvenience...

caused by our volcano
to travelers around the globe.

I would like to invite you for
a holiday stay to enjoy the oneness...

of this unique and beautiful island.

I would say do the same as we do.

Accept the unpredictable, be
with the inevitable and enjoy yourself.

This was Tina Lawson interviewing
the mayor of Reykjavik.

Now back to the studio.

Sir, all the teachers are
staging a protest outside...

the principal's room.
- What? Why?

Go and keep the book on my table.

Okay.

No. No. What does this mean?

This is an intense and important matter.

Don't you think you're over-reacting?

Don't you remember that we're
asked to make our passports...

for Singapore trip last time?
- Right.

But, nothing materialized.

Well, I agree that we're not
lucky enough to enjoy a Singapore trip.

But, you could've at
least taken us to Durgapur.

Mithilesh sir, you're well
aware why the trip didn't happen.

Only five teachers agreed
to be a part of the trip. - Okay.

It's useless to dig into the past.

They're deducting money from our
salary and you aren't taking any action.

Will you sit idle?

The bard is paying half the amount.

We're taking only the half
the amount from all of you.

We're offering it at a subsidized rate.

Forget the subsidized rate.
We know everything. Useless!

Calm down.

It's a matter of just 700 rupees.

It'll take only two years
time to pay the amount.

After that the computer
will be your property. Isn't it?

This is ridiculous!

The board is forcing
us to buy computers...

and we've no right to protest.

If the board sends a circular in future
that we've to wear red shoes to school...

or it'll deduct our salary
then should we wear red shoes to school?

No! No!
- Great!

Do you want to wear red shoes to school?

Anjaniputra, times are changing.

Do you think you can stop
the flow of the changing time...

by staging protests
in a village school?

Think about it and then answer me.

Anjani sir,
we had a bad day at school today.

Your coaching class
is doing good business.

Forget about the coaching class.
Forget it.

Let me share the Kantabai joke.

I assure that you'll
feel fresh after hearing it.

I know that you aren't
going to spare me.

I can't say it loudly.
Bring your ears close to me.

Listen to me...

Does your one stand?

What?
- Does your one stand?

Bye.

Hey volcanic hot boy!
Now I know why you're so volcanic...

because you come from
land of volcano Iceland.

I found out who you really
are fun TV in an interview.

At night when you're hunting for women,

You cover your face with a mask.

But the mask does not cover your mole.

Who could've imagined that you,
the manic is really the mayor...

of the city of Reykjavik in Iceland?

A very important man.

If I told the world what
the mayor does at night...

where will your career
and your reputation go?

You'll be finished, Mr. Mayor. Forever.

Your life will go up in flames
like the volcanoes of Iceland.

Your secret and your life
are in my hands, Mr. Mayor.

Remember, your game is over, Hot Boy.

Hi!

What happened? Serve food.
- Coming.

You're always so hungry.

Here you go.

All the teachers have
to be computer literate now.

What?

We've to learn about a machine,
the computer.

That's good.

The question papers will be sent by e-mail.
- By what?

It'll come in the computer.

Will you teach me how to use a computer?

We've to set the question
papers in computer.

We've to explain everything.

There'll be computers
in every household.

They're going to deduct
700 rupees from our salary for it.

Just imagine!

One. Two. Three. Four.

I'll reach 99 if I get a two.
It's your turn now.

Mohan, you are...
- Don't say anything, Tanu.

I don't like it.

Do you think I'll betray the
work for which I'm getting paid...

and that which
helps me run my expenses?

Do you want me to start tuition classes?

My conscience doesn't support it.

That's it. Then why should
you think about it so much.

We'll spend the rest
of our life like this.

It's your turn.

What are you scared of, Mohan?

Education has lost its importance.

You're crazy.

A teacher like you was scared just like
you before the arrival of the reed pen.

You shouldn't be scared.

Aren't you Hanuman?

Do you still love me?
- Yes, I do.

Most of the times the things we use,
the things we can easily understand...

or the things that help
us in our life is the truth for us.

And exactly by the law of probability...

it is not the
truth for somebody else.

Did you understand?

Tanu! Tanu!
- Coming.

Can you hear me?
- Coming.

What happened?

I can come only when
there are commercial breaks.

What happened?
- This is not difficult at all.

It's a typewriter machine
combined with television.

I learned using the
typewriter in my childhood.

My speed was quite good.

But I've lost practice now.
Doesn't matter, will practice it.

You can practice it, my dear.

But after the daily soap ends
we'll go to sleep. - Yes.

You've school tomorrow.
Hope you remember.

Come to bed soon.
- Okay.

Tanu!

Tanu!

She didn't switch on the lights today.

Tanu!

Tanu!

Tanu!

Tanu... what happened, Tanushree?

I haven't seen a selfish
man like you in my life, Mon.

Do you know how I feel at times?

I can't tolerate it anymore.

You've time for your things.
How can you forget me, Mon?

Just a minute.
- Mon!

Panchu...
- Uncle, I'm not a martyr.

I'm tired of doing
the rounds of your house.

People are not ready to pay
unless we cut off the cable lines...

and they're not able to watch
the daily soaps. - Right.

Now you've understood.
- Yes.

You had to finally
come here for your wife.

Please forget the past.

You're like my younger brother.

Should I sacrifice my life for you?

Don't I've to earn?
Don't I have a heart?

Why don't you understand that
I'll be ruined if you don't do it.

I'll go tomorrow morning.

Please don't do this.
- Hey!

Dear brother, you don't understand...

My wife will leave me and go.

Please come with me, please.
- Hey!

Please come.
- What a problem!

Please come.
- I need to take my bag.

Please come. Come.

Panchu...
- Yes.

I'll pay you the dues
of the remaining three months...

tomorrow morning. Okay?

What happened, Panchu?

Why did you get down? What happened?

You carry on, I'll come.
- No. No. Don't do this.

Don't do this.
You're like my brother. Come.

Not at all.
I don't even spare my father.

The Bongs aren't ready to
[ay unless we take strict action.

Why are you shouting?

You're shouting so loudly.
Speak softly. Softly.

I'll go.
- No. Please don't do that. Listen to me.

Listen, I don't have enough money now.

Look here...
I have... I have 452... let me check...

453. I've 453 rupees. Keep it.

No, I can't accept it.
- Please keep it.

You've a total due
of 975 with late fees.

A total of 975 rupees.

What can I do?
I don't have so much money right now.

I'll withdraw money from bank
tomorrow morning and give it to you.

I promise you.

Then your wife will watch
her daily soap tomorrow.

No. No, Panchu.
No. No. I can't let you go.

My wife will be very angry.

My wife will scold me.
- It's your problem.

My wife will scold me.
- It's your problem.

I know it's my problem.

You shouldn't treat me as what?
What? C'mon, tell me.

A martyr.
- Yes. Correct. Correct.

I don't have money right now.
Please believe me.

No... no...

My dear brother, my mother gifted
this to me after I did my matriculation.

It's an expensive watch.
An expensive watch by HMT.

My mother has expired.

I take care of it like my child.

Don't take it, brother.

"Sister, your brother-in-law is crazy."

Don't d this. It's my mother's gift.

Did the picture come, uncle?
- No. No. not yet.

I'm rotating it. See if it's okay.

The picture came but it's gone again.

It's condition is just like you.

Check this.

Yes, it has come.
Hold on to it. Hold it.

The picture has come. Hold it there.

Panchu, hold it there.

Hope the picture is clear.

Yes, it is.
There's your favourite channel.

Just before 7:30... just before 7:30,
your favourite channel is back.

Panchu...
- Shall I get down?

Yes, get down.

Enjoy.

Disgusting!

I hope you'll return the
watch after I give you your dues.

Sir... did you buy a computer?

No. Gave me.

Your bag. Your bag.

You'll definitely need internet
connection now that you've a computer.

I don't need much in life.

What are you saying, sir?

You seem to be so excited about it.

Internet is like excretion.

How? - You can clearly make out
from a person's face...

if his stomach got cleared or not.

You can also make out
the ones with constipation.

No, brother. I don't need it.

I went through a lot to
get the cable connection back.

I had to give away the
watch gifted by my mother.

I don't want anything else.

You may leave now. It's late.

There's a new scheme that
gives you internet free of cost...

for three months.

If you don't like it you
can disconnect the connection.

No charge.

Isn't it a good scheme?

Free?
- Absolutely free for three months.

If I told the world what
the mayor does at night...

where will your career
and your reputation go?

You'll be finished, Mr. mayor. Forever.

Oh yes! If I meet...

Hey Anjani sir...
- Not again.

Anjani is Hanuman's mother's name.

What a problem!
Hang up or how will I bring the man.

Yes. hang up.

Sorry, sir.

I've got a very bad headache today.

Please spare me from
the Kantabai jokes today.

You always underestimate me.

I had a new joke today.
A Punjabi one. But, forget it.

I need your help.

Can you spare some time?

You need my help?
- Yes, your help.

What help do you need?

She's my wife Mrs. Khastagir.
Mention that I'm your ex-wife.

She was my junior in
Vidyasagar high school.

Political Science.

Back then I didn't know that
I shouldn't marry the person I like.

So, the obvious happened.

My wife became my
ex-wife after some time.

But, she's intelligent.

She has invested her father's
money in different things...

and have multiplied the
amount by tickling people. -Tickling?

Did you ever hear of
the business of tickling feet? - No.

Mit, it's Thai spa.
- Yes.

Sometimes she tickles her customers
till thigh so it's called Thai spa.

Disgusting!

Actually I've no feeling
when anyone tickles me.

It's like that since childhood.

Don't panic.

Mrs. Khastagir has started a new business.
- Business?

She wants to start a
resort around Hasulibagan.

The rich people from Kolkata will
come here to get themselves tickled.

You're really disgusting.

I wish to start a wellness resort.

How can I help, Mithilesh sir?
- Simple.

Mrs. Khastagir has bought
a lot of land around Hasulibagan.

You know what usually happens.

When she got stuck she thought of me.

Life is nothing but business.

You've an agricultural land
at the Hasulibagan crossroad.

Mrs. Khastagir wants to buy it.

She'll pay a good price for it.

I told her that Anjani sir...
- Anjaniputra.

Is a down to earth, simple man.

I told her not to cheat
you like you cheated me.

She'll pay a good price for it. Sell it.

Mithilesh sir, how can I sell
something that doesn't belong to me?

As usual wrong information.

Wait, let me talk.

It belongs to my father's younger uncle.

It's an ancestral land.

It mentioned in the
holy scriptures that...

it's a sin to sell ancestral land.
I can't sell it.

What a good idea!

You answered brilliantly.

What are you talking about?

About the mention of scriptures.
That was a good point.

I told you that nothing can tickle me.

You've taught Mrs.
Khastagir a good lesson.

That was a good one. Good decision.

Bye.
- Take care.

We'll meet tomorrow morning.

ANJU. Anju.

Isn't the name perfect, sir?

Anju?
- Anju.

I can't make Anjaniputra Anju.
- Why?

Just think of it.

The board will send
question papers to me.

The name should have some weight.

Do something.

Write this one.
- What?

The computer doesn't accept
such a big name. - Oh!

It'll go out of the box.

The computer doesn't
accept such a big name.

It doesn't accept such a big name?
- No.

Panchu... - Yes.
- have dinner with us tonight.

Okay. What have you cooked today? Chicken?
- No.

I cooked leafy greens today.

Oh! No non-vegetarian food?
Egg or anything else?

We eat vegetarian food on Tuesdays.
- Okay.

I'll have dinner tomorrow.

Sir is taking a lot of time.

He's stuck at email.

Please check if they'll accept...

Please check.
You can do it.

If you try, you can do it.
They'll accept the name.

You're going to sacrifice my life.

Tell me the spelling.
- Yes.

Write it down.

A. A for Anjani. A-N-J-A.

Now you can search anything you want.

Search? Search what?

Wait. wait and watch
what I share with you.

You can sit at your home
and watch what ladies are doing.

Watch? Watch what?
- Wait.

Hey! Hey! Close it. Close it.

Sister-in -law will hear you.

Close it. Close it.

What are you doing?

Are you a celibate?
- I...

How will you excrete
if you don't have purgative?

Every day I...
- Keep quite.

Scoundrel!

I've downloaded google.

Click on it. Search anything and watch.
- Okay.

Okay?

Sir...

Here it is. Google chat. C'mon chat.

I'll chat with google?

Chat with google or googly anything?

There are lots of girls and boys.

By god's grace you're quite handsome.

Keep trying and you'll
strike gold for sure.

Get up. get up, you rascal. Get up. Get up.
- Oh no!

Nonsense!

This one. Yes.

Okay?
- Yes.

Take this one...
- You may leave now.

You may leave now.
I've understood it. Go.

I've learned everything.

I'll call you if I've
any problem with cable.

Please leave. Leave now.

Rascal!

"The world is gradually
becoming smaller..."

"and is confined to the idiot box...

in our drawing rooms
by cables and satellites."

"We can sit at home and
connect with the entire world."

"All the national and international
boundaries have been erased."

"Have you ever given it a thought?"

"The stars are light
years away from us."

"We gradually get
distanced further away."

Tanu, wake up. wake up.

Tanu, cockroach. Cockroach.
- Where?

Listen to me.
- Oh no!

Not here. Not in our house.

Listen to me.

Have you ever heard that cockroach
is a food lover? - What?

If you keep plain rice and fried
rice at two corners of the kitchen...

you'll notice that the
cockroach will prefer fried rice.

Who shared this nonsense with you?
- The computer.

Did you ever imagine anything like this?

Mon, I don't want to think about it,
I'm sleepy.

Listen to me.
- Ah!

Listen to me once.

If you search information
about cockroach on google...

.you'll get different stories about it.

Google was created because of cockroach.

Mon, please go from here.
I want to sleep. Disgusting!

Can you hear me, Tanu?
- What happened?

Humans and cockroaches...
- Again?

No. No.

This is a good one.

Humans and cockroaches both spend...

90% of their time
finding things here and there.

They search what?

I don't know. It's not mentioned there.

Then forget it my, darling.

You can disturb me for something else.

Forget about cockroaches. Go.

Oh God!

"Series of faces come and disappear..."

"as the eyes glued
to television screen watch."

"Getting close to
strange unknown things."

"As we sit next to each other
and watch we don't watch together..."

"we're actually alone."

"A new trick to separate us."

Mon! Mon!

I'm on the terrace.

What are you doing up there?

Wait, I'm coming.

34 and 55 is 89.

Mon, what are you doing on the terrace?

I'm useless.
- Who told so?

Let's go down.

The computer.

How dare it call you useless? But why?

The flowers...
- Oh no!

The leaves and the parts
of plants have a formula of growth.

There's Math even
in the petals of a rose.

A simple sequence.

I couldn't solve it even
after trying hard all night.

I'm worthless.

I'm supposed to have
done majors in mathematics.

I don't deserve a better job.
What other job could I get?

Mon, don't feel depressed.

I'll scold the computer. Okay?

"The stars are light
years away from us."

"We gradually get
distanced further away."

Let's go. C'mon, let's go.

Scratch my back.

Go down a little more.

Mon, will you go to bed now?

Come on.

So, you won't go.

So, you won't go?

Stay here. I'm going.

Scratch my back.
- Do it yourself.

"We don't have any role in
the business of selling dreams."

"This dazzling game is a deception."

"Let's look out through the
open windows at the streets..."

"where we might finds some friends."

"Have you ever given it a thought?"

"The stars are light
years away from us."

"We gradually get
distanced further away."

"Have you ever given it a thought?"

"The stars are light
years away from us."

"We gradually get
distanced further away."

Mon...
- Hmm...

Mon, let's go to sleep.

I'll go as soon as I finish
Einstein's quantum theory.

You can go to bed.

Einstein is spoiling you.

Don't say that. Einstein will curse you.

Stay busy with the computer. I'm going.

Hi!

Hello!

I'm Maria and you?

I'm Anjaniputra Sen Sharma.

Is that your name?

Yes, my good name.

I am in Sarnyaka...
space... I made a mistake.

I'm from Sarnakamalpur,
West Bengal, India.

And you?

How does it matter?

I don't understand.

I could be near, I could be far.

Are you a ghost?

Yes, I am.

You're a ghost.

Which district are you in?

Oh my god!
You want to know everything. Don't you?

Okay.

I am... in... Reykjavik.

Reykjavik? Ray...

Is it in... 24 Parganas.

I don't know where that is.

But Reyjkavik is in Iceland.

You know Iceland. Don't you?

Iceland?

What's the matter Anjani sir?

You're in our area instead
of studying law of probability.

What are you doing here with our subject
instead of studying about probability?

Do you know where Iceland is,
Mithilesh sir?

Iceland?
- Yes.

I've heard about Greenland.
I even heard about it in my childhood.

No, I'm talking about Iceland.

I've heard about ice box
and ice pack and ice cream.

But, Iceland? No... no...

There's a place by that name.
- No!

Somebody must've given
you the wrong information.

How could I not know
about its existence?

I've a new joke to share.
It'll cheer you up.

You're an useless geography teacher.

God knows what you teach your students.
- What!

Get up. Come on.

Wait. Wait.
- No I won't allow you to sit here anymore.

You don't have to read
about Einstein anymore. Come.

You don't have to shut it down. Come.
- Okay, I'm coming.

Come on.
- I'm coming.

I'll teach you about Einstein.

Do you think there's magic in life?

Magic?

Do you know I love magic?

Once in the village
I saw a show by P C Sorcar.

I was stunned.

I can show you a stunt.

I believe you.

You're showing stunt every day.

So, there you go. Abra ka dabra.

Just click on accept
when you get my call.

Just accept?

Just accept.

What is this?

Me. Very, very simple. Am I not?

Do you like me, Indian teacher?

Be honest.

Please.

"In my heart..."

"In my heart..."

"In my heart..."

"In my heart..."

"In my heart..."

"I wonder who is that
dances in my heart."

"I wonder who is that
dances in my heart."

"I don't feel at peace
without seeing you, my love."

"I don't feel at peace
without seeing you, my love."

'The heart feels restless."

"Life, death and
compulsions dance along."

"Life, death and
compulsions dance along."

"Shyam, my dear Mohon."

"Shyam, my dear Mohon."

"What a delight!"

"What a delight!"

Silence!
- "What a delight!"

"What a delight!"

"What a delight!"

"What is that always
plays with the mridangam?"

"What is that always
plays with the mridangam?"

"What a delight!"

"What a delight!"

"Your enchanting eyes."

"O my love, my love."

"Your eyes are enchanting."

"Life, death and
compulsions dance along."

"Life, death and
compulsions dance along."

"What a delight!"

"What a delight!"

Iceland.

And you?

What me?

How do I see you?

How?

Web cam.

Web cam? Oh no! I feel too, too ashamed.

Compared to you I'm too ordinary.

Maybe, maybe not.

In my mind's eyes
you're my George Clooney.

Coloney?

Who is George Coloney?

Is he a friend?

No! You're my friend. My friend forever.

If you want to be my friend.

Can you tell your wife about me?

Yes.

I can.

Do you belong to me or to your wife?

I've no problem in my head.

But, if you ask me then I get confused.

Mon! Mon! Mon!

What happened?

Won't you go to school?

Mon, get up. Get up.

Mon, get up.

Mon, what happened?

Mon, get up.

Mon! Mon, get up.

Will you tell me for what
you're punishing me in this manner?

What did you promise father?

That you'll never go away from me.

You'll always be with
me through thick and thin.

Won't you keep your promise?

No, Mon!

You're the unique one.

You're Anjaniputra.

C'mon eat something. Eat something now.

C'mon, eat.

You've turned your face away once again.

What's wrong with you, Mon?

'Will you not do it for me,
George Clooney?'

Mon... it's late.

You need to take bath now.

Get up. C'mon get up.

I've cooked for you.
Get up and eat. Mon...

'Will you not do it for me?'
- Are you angry with me, Mon?

Sit down. Anjani sir is absent today.

I'll teach you today.

"Don't fall in love without
knowing its significance."

"Don't fall in love without
knowing its significance."

"Don't fall in love without
knowing its significance."

"Knowingly..."

'Will you not do it for me,
George Clooney?'

"You've knowingly fallen in love."

'George Clooney. George Clooney...'

'...will you not do it for me?'

'George Clooney...'

'...will you not do it for me?'

'George Clooney. George Clooney.'

"Don't fall in love without
knowing its significance."

"Don't fall in love without
knowing its significance."

"Fall in love after much thought."

"So that you get something in return."

What happened, Anjani sir?

Why are you here at this hour?

I want to sell my land in Moiradighi.
- All of a sudden?

Say Lord Hanuman!
- Glory to him.

Son of Pawan (wind).
- Glory to Him.

With the dust of the
lotus feet of Sri Gurudeva...

I clean the mirror of my mind.

I narrate the scared glory of Sri Ram...

who bestows the four fruits of life.

Considering myself as ignorant,
I meditate on you Lord Hanuman.

Tanushree, I'm leaving.

I had no other option.

I'm not renouncing domestic
life like Lord Chaitanya.

I'm an ordinary school teacher.

I'm leaving but not forever.

I never went beyond Bashirhat.

I never had to go.

Today, I, the ordinary man is setting
out to see the vast beautiful world.

I had to go or I would've to
live with an uneasy burden all my life.

A nightmare would've chased
me all my life in my sleep, Tanu.

Believe me, I had no other option.

I was losing self-dignity.

Believe me, I'm feeling nervous.

My legs are shivering.

I've an uneasy feeling
inside my stomach as I'm scared.

But, I had to leave in
the search of the unknown.

I'll definitely tell
you the whole story one day.

I'm sure you'll understand.

Deep in my heart I believe
that you'll wait for me to come back.

Do wait for me.

No one ever waited for me except you.

I'll end the story and come
back to my routine, regular life.

I promise you. Hanuman.

The post office seems to be open.

Shall I drop a letter there?
- What?

Can I drop the letter in there?

The post office is open.

Oh no! It's so embarrassing.

Thank god!

Are you from Dhaka?
- No. Bashirhat.

I knew it. Rustic fellow! Okay. Bye.

Rustic fellow!

Where are you staying?

Hold on. Let me see.
- Okay, check and tell me.

Rustic fellow!

Reykjavik 101.

I knew that you couldn't
afford a five star one.

How will you go to Reyjkavik 101?
- Ta... ta...

How much cash are you carrying?

Do you know how much you'll have
to pay to reach Reykjavik by ta... ta...

960 rupees in Indian currency.
- Oh god!

Oh god!

Come on. Come with me.

Lucky day.
It's your lucky day today. Come on.

Let's go. My car is coming.

Hurry up.

What happened?
Did they disconnect the connection?

This has become a
troublesome issue these days.

The new companies are just too much.

They're doing whatever they feel like.

Go home. I'll restore the connection.

Sir has left home.

When did he go? Where did he go?

He was a big Einstein fan.

He would feel sorry for his wife
and shed tears for her. - Okay.

Pine? There's no one
called Pine in our village.

Just tell me where Pine's wife lives.

I'll teach her a good lesson.

Share her address with me.
- In the machine.

I never imagined I would
get home-cooked food here.

I heard that Indian
Bengalis loved travelling.

Once they used to write travelogues.
Isn't it? - Yes.

My wife buys the annual magazine.

Actually I don't take her out for trips.

Reading the magazine
makes one feel good.

Why did you choose this place instead of
London and Paris, bro, post office bro?

Anjaniputra. - Your name?
The name given by your parents?

I can't utter that
name even in ten lives.

You've left your country a long time back.
- Don't you understand that?

Actually I also have an English name.
- Is it?

There was someone who gave me this name.
- Really?

You can all me by that name too.

What's the name? Tell me.

What's the name? Let me hear it.
- George Clooney.

Repeat it.
- George Clooney.

Why are you laughing?

What's so funny?

George Clooney. I love you.

You're my friend from today.
My friend George Clooney.

Thank you. Thank you, Hassan.

Please do me a favour.
- Yes, tell me. Tell me.

George Clooney, my friend.

Please locate this address for me.

Maria Fischer, 21/A Lionel Messi Lane.
Reykjavik-14.

21/A Lionel Messi Lane.

Take a look.
- Show me.

Lionel Messi Lane.

The football player
who plays for Barcelona.

How will I know from
the address where he plays?

So, you've come all the
way from India to meet Maria...

who lives in Lionel Messi lane.

No. Not to meet her.

My stupid friend! So she fooled you,
my dear George Clooney. - Why?

Hey! Hey!

Hey bro! Hey!

Hey bro! Hey!

C'mon, let's go. Let's go.
- No!

What's this?

What's this? Let's go.

What's this?

Leave me, Hassan. Leave me.

You'll die here. You'll die.
- How dare she lie?

She lied to me.
- No... no... it's okay.

She lied to me.
- Forget it, bro. You'll die in this cold.

You'll die in this cold.

No, brother... you'll die...

No, brother... you'll die...

God knows what's sir's password.

Do you know his password?

What?
- Password? The key to log in.

It opens his account.
I tried many option.

Sex. Love.
Porn. But, I'm unable to log in.

What are you saying?
I don't know these things.

What's sir's password?

What's your name?

Tanushree... - Tanushr...
single 'e' or double 'e'? - Double.

Oh no! Even this didn't work.

It means he didn't even
use your name as password.

He's a strange man.

What can be his password? School...

Tiyasha.
- What?

T I Y A S H A.

That's it. I've logged in. Fantastic!

That's fantastic.
I've managed to log in.

Who is Tiyasha?

Who? who is she?
- Forget her.

No... who is she? Please tell me.
Her name helped me log in.

Who is she? Who is she?

Both of us had decided to name
our child Tiyasha if it was a girl.

And we had a daughter
but she didn't survive.

Would you like to have tea, Panchu?

Hey Hassan! Feet on the floor. Come on.
- Oh no!

Sit up.

Hey Hassan!
- Oh no!

Coffee.

And you Noorie... Noorie...
go and get your breakfast. Come on.

C'mon go. It's your mom's order.

Hey! Come in, bro, come in.

Where am I, brother Hassan?

Where?
- Lionel Messi...

No, not in Lionel Messi lane.

You're at Pele. Pele Street.

The street next to this
one is Lionel Messi lane.

She's your sister-in-law. Khurram.

She's my daughter Nerd Noorie.

Why did you give her this name?

I named her after my
grandma Asman Noorie Khan.

But it changed into Nerd Noorie.

Do you know what Nerd is?
- No.

The one who's always busy
with computers is called Nerd.

Don't you see her glued to the computer?

Your mom told you
to go and have breakfast.

He's our new friend George Clooney.
George Clooney.

Does he want coffee?

Come, brother George. Come close. Come.

Come.

You've caught bad cold.
- It's very cold here.

After all you're in Iceland.

You spent so much money and
took so much trouble to come here.

Stay here for some days.
Eat and enjoy. Got it?

Then go back home.

I'm indebted to you.
I don't know how I'll repay you.

Why do you worry?
Everything will be fine.

After all you're a good boy.

Is she Pine's wife?
- Not Pine, it's Einstein.

That's the same. Is she his wife?
- Maybe.

Can I say something? Please don't mind.

Pine's wife isn't
as affectionate as you.

I swear.

Good evening, Hassan.

It's so cold.

Iceland is a cold country.

How can you expect it to be hot?

Want to have some coffee?

I think people don't
drink tea in this country.

You're my friend.

I can get even tiger's urine
for you to drink. Just ask for it.

You say whatever you feel like.

The girls here are born mature.
They're born mature.

Vida! Vida!

Get a cup of Indian tea
for my friend George Clooney.

There you go, George.
- Thank you.

I told you to burkha so many times.

Even customers get frightened seeing you.
- Fuck off.

George.

George...

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

I'm feeling very scared.
- Scared?

What are you scared of?
We're with you.

Please share everything with me.
What are you scared of?

Do you want to hear?

Of course, I'll hear you. Tell me.

Actually...

What's the exact meaning
of 'heart is beating fast'?

It's written here that...
legs are shivering.

The heart is beating fast.
The legs are shivering.

The heart beating fast and the legs
shivering at this age aren't good signs.

No. No.

Sister-in-law, I'll tell you something.

It's not healthy to
have spicy and oily food.

It's also written that... stomach.

The stomach is feeling uneasy.

Sir...
- Keep it.

You've to keep an eye on his health.

Oh no! Try to find out where sir is.

Why are you discussing
diseases here? Strange!

Why are you getting angry?

Where can he go?
- Hey!

What a weird man!

Sister-in-law! Sister-in-law!

Where are you going?
Sister-in-law!

What happened?

What happened? What's wrong?

I won't try to find him anymore.

I've made a mistake.

I won't try to find him.

I've made a mistake.
I won't try to find him.

He's going away from me.

I don't want to find
out about his whereabouts.

I will wait for him.

I'll wait.
- Where are you going, sister-in-law?

I've lost, Tanu.

The person for whom I spent
so much money and came here.

Why? The butterfly didn't
get caught in your net?

What butterfly?

Whatever information
she shared was fake.

She doesn't live in Iceland.
- Iceland?

Why will Maria be in Iceland?

You know about her?

She lived in Germany near Munich.
- You? You?

Why won't I know? She sent you a
photo in pink dress with her hair open.

The wall clock behind
her ran in opposite direction.

It shows 1 instead of 11.

Before Tisu was born father
went to Munich, Germany...

to work in a factory for two years.

Father brought that opposite
clock for us and said that...

the unique clock was found
nowhere except in Munich, Germany...

and in our house in Mechda.

I thought that you
went to Munich to meet her.

Meet her?

She was murdered, Tanu...
right before my eyes.

Hey George!

Can I tell you something?
- Yes, tell me.

I would like you to
know that I'm your friend.

Your story has touched me.

If I can help you I'll really be happy.

I also want to be our friend.
Will you be my friend?

Every weekend I've problem with you.
- No!

Every weekend I've problem.
- No! You're my problem.

You're a bloody bitch.
- Nothing else. You are. - No!

Shut up!
- You shut up!

What happened?
- This is bullshit.

I don't know brother from
where this woman came in my life.

What happened?
- Worthless woman!

George, this constipated
man abuses me every weekend.

I mean a girl has a life after all.

I've given her a good one.

I' an actress,
I don't want be a waitress all my life.

What? You're an actress.
You want to be an actress? - Yes.

I'm doing a small production
of Shakespeare's Macbeth.

Everything alright? Don't mind us.

You know Macbeth?

I just look like an idiot, Frieda.
- Come on.

Didn't mean that, George.

Just can't convince this
man here that I can't sell...

chicken tikkas and naan all my life.

Shut up, worthless woman!

Calm down.

It's a fact. She's trying to instigate you.
- Calm down.

It's a full house tomorrow on Saturday.
- Okay.

She's a good girl. Let her go.

Good girl! I need help.
- I'll help you.

Can you do it?
- I'll try.

Will you charge for it?

You've given me place
to stay and food to eat.

Why will I ask you to give me money?

For him I'm letting you go,
bloody bitch. For him.

Don't lose your temper.
- Next weekend I'll see you. - Okay.

Calm down.

I managed. You can go and do your play.

I'll manage here.
- Really?

So, you want to see me act?
- Of course.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Nerd Noorie.

Nerd Noorie.

Nerd Noorie.

Can you play hopscotch?
- What?

George, your turn.

C'mon play. Take it.

I'm feeling cold.

What happened?

What happened, George?

I've lost, Noorie.
- Why, George?

I've lost, Noorie.
- You lost?

But you were winning.

I've lost.
- What happened?

George!

The game is not yet over, George.

The game is still on.

C'mon, we'll play again
and you'll win the game.

Come on. Let's play again.

'Fair is foul and foul is fair.'

'Hover through the fog and filthy air'

'When shall we three meet again.'

'In thunder, lightning or in rain.'

'When the hurly burly's done.'

'When the battle's lost and won.'

'That will be ere the set of sun.'

So, tell me George,
which one of us did you like the most?

Of course you.

Be honest.

You're a wonderful actress, Frieda.

Of course the rest
of them were also good.

They're also very good actors.

Here's your beer.

This for you.

This one.

Hey George!

Excuse me.

George, beer. Number five. Over there.

Thank you.

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?

Get some water. Quick.

Calm down.

Now you're after the mayor.

I never forget what I see once, Hassan.

Forget it.

You'll land in trouble
and drag us into it too.

You're dangerous.

When are leaving?

Patient of epilepsy!

Your health is deteriorating
in this cold country, George.

Listen, pack your bags.

Must go and check out Reykjavik 101.

Enough of free lunches.

Go and pack your bags. Go. Go.

Scoundrel!

I picked him up from
the streets and helped him...

how he wants to land me in trouble.

I've to handle all
these epilepsy patients.

I'll go away.

I'm leaving, Nerd Noorie.

George, I would like you
to know that I believe in you.

Thanks.

Sit here.

I've a plan but I'm
not clear about it yet.

What's the plan?

You leave now.
I'll share it with you later.

I can't continue like this anymore.

But, I know you'll be able to do it.

You think I can do it?
- Yes, you can.

Don't go. Please don't mind him.

Thank you.

"Spree ha tem on."

"The shattered path ahead."

"Your humble abode."

"Beyond the last uninhabited land."

"As evening descends, let's go back."

"Let's go."

"Let's go."

"Let's go."

Madam, won't you eat?

"If you don't come close
how can we part ways?"

"If we don't part ways
how can't we come close again."

"C'mon, tell me."

"Tell me."

"Tell me."

"Let's go."

"Tell me, let's go."

"Let's go. Tell me."

"The happy faces..."

"showing their fake happy teeth."

"Forget all your whims
and fancies and tell me."

"Let the evening descend..."

"Continue walking alone."

"Let's go."

"Let's go."

"Let's go."

Sister-in-law...
why are you scared? It's me.

I came to enquire about you.

I don't know where Anjani
sir suddenly vanished.

Somebody was stalking about another
woman in his life, Mr. Pine's wife.

You're feeling scared again.

Don't be scared.

I dropped in to ask
if you need any help.

We're with you. Bye.

Don't hesitate to ask for anything.

George!

George! George!

George! George!

I've been looking for you.
Where have you been?

I was waiting for the bus here.
- Bus?

Are you going away?

I should nail that bastard.
What do you say?

Don't use abusive word.
You're a god girl, my dear.

But I want to nab the killer.

I've a plan.

But Nerd Noorie,
a person doesn't live inside a computer.

Oh silly boy! Who told you?

The computer is like a house.

You need keys to enter
a house and here you've password.

You can open and close
all doors and windows.

There are Windows,
friends and even love.

Then why is it not a house?

I love staying there throughout the day.

Nerd Noorie, what's our plan?

If we consider the computer our house...
- Yes...

there are doors and keys there.
- Yes.

We can break the doors.

You want to break the doors?
Whose doors?

The murderer's.
- What?

If we can break through
the mayor's doors...

we'll get hold of all his secrets.
Isn't it?

You want to break in the computer?

Why? Can't I do it?

No, dear.
I don't want to break anything.

I'm a foreigner here.

I can't break anything.

Who told you to do it? I'll do it.

Just wait and watch. I'm the nerd.
- No, dear. You're a good girl.

Let's go back.
- You want to go back empty-handed?

Will you feel good about it?

Knowing that the murderer
was right before your eyes...

but you couldn't
be brave enough to nab him.

Would you feel good about it, George?

What do you say?

Should I break in the
computers doors or not?

Yes or no?

Yes.

"Eenie meenie mini mo."

"There goes Majumdar."

"Chased by Damodar."

"Damodar's utensils."

"They sit and clean grains."

"They got late cleaning the grains."

"He has rice for lunch."

"There's a fly in the rice."

"He uses a spade to get rid of it."

"Get rid of it."

"You the sons of Ghosh, Bose, Roys."

"Let's play a new game chuck your toys."

"Life is in your control.
Let' s deal with it."

"Life is a game."

"This is your chance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

Hili gili hocus focus.

Hili gili hocus focus.

Yeah!

Look at this. We're can easily
access the mayor's computer now.

Right!

He's hacked.

Now his computer,
I mean his house is in our hands.

Your father is absolutely right.

You know everything about computers.

Father says it's in my butt.

Don't use bad words, my dear.
You're a girl. Don't use abusive words.

"The old fellows oiling themselves."

"The big fat lies."

"What will you do with it?
Take it easy."

"The shackles want to hold you back."

"They want to harm."

"Shout at them and tell them to stop."

"Stop! Stop!"

"Come my odd life come."

"Come my odd life come."

"Life is a game.
This is your chance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

"Dance your dance."

George, are you loony?
- What? - Are you a loony?

No, I'm not loony.
I'm a Bengali from West Bengal.

Oh boy, cocoon I believed in him.
Oh shit!

Did you call me a cuckoo?
Thank you, Noorie.

Boy, he's a loony.
- No. No. I'm not loony, I'm a Bengali.

You can ask your father.

He always says that George is a loony.
- What?

I told your dad several
times that I'm from Bashirhat.

How could he say that
I'm from loony land?

What happened, my dear? What happened?

I hacked the mayor's ID
as I believed in you. Isn't it?

I searched everywhere
in the e-mails and folders.

There's nothing about Maria Fischer.

There's no girl related thing there.

Just believe it. It's a cool IQ.

For three days now my
brain was marred. Marred.

George, it's all your fault.

Noorie, do you know Swapan Kumar?
- What?

Swapan Kumar.

He suggests that we should
check in the dustbins of the criminals.

Yeah. He must be a loony cap like you.

No. He's also a Bong.

He's my favourite detective.

Tell me about him.

Okay. Swapan Kumar always
says that murderers will...

try to erase all evidence.

But, if you want to find any
evidence you must look in his dustbin...

that's because people
forget to clean their dustbins.

Tanu forgets doing that very often.

Who's Tanu?
- My wife.

Noorie, does the mayor's
computer house have a dustbin?

What?
- Dustbin? Garbage bin.

Dustbin?

Yes, there is. Let me check.

The mail is here.

The mail is here.

The mail is here, George.

The mayor has actually killed the girl.

You were speaking the truth.
You're not a loony.

I've been repeatedly telling
you that I'm a Bongali...

but, you were
not ready to believe me.

You're a genius, George.
- It's not me.

It's Swapan Kumar.

Let me see what's written in the mail.

Dear volcanic hot boy,
now I know why you're so volcanic...

because you come
from a land of volcanoes.

'I would like to apologize...'
- Iceland.

I found out who you really
are on TV in an interview.

At night when you're hunting for women.

You cover your face with a mask.

But the mask does not cover your mole.

I want to see it. Please leave me.

No. No, dear Noorie. I'm like your dad.

I request you not to watch this.

Dull material?
- Bad material.

Yes! Look at this George.

Noorie, you're a genius.

George, I'm just a plain nerd.

We can access Maria's computer now.
- Right.

We'll bring Maria back to life again.

But, Maria is dead.

George, you're very stupid.

I also want your opinion to consider.

Well, I completely
agree with you on that.

Well if you take a look at
the action plan from last November...

you can see that there are still
some factors that have to be revised...

before continuing.

Yeah, I've somebody on the
job and it might be ready by next week.

Would we get it by Wednesday?

What?
- Would we get it by Wednesday?

My department is really pressing...

I'm not aware of my schedule right now.

This is really important.

Would you like to have some coffee?
- Yes.

When will you get back to it?
- I'll tell you.

I don't know, I've no idea.

George... I'm worried, you know.

Why?

We're going on the right path, Nerd Noorie.
- No.

You need to put a real
detective to handle this.

You mean Swapan Kumar.

Yes. the person you always talk about.

The only man in India who
wears an overcoat in India...

despite the hot
and humid weather there.

Ask him for a way forward.

Hello.

So, are you happy to hear from me?

You'll hear more from me.

Good night.

Come. Come.

What brings you here
so early in the morning?

I've stolen, George.

What have you stolen?
- Don't ask. Just come.

Wait, let me take my shawl.

Come.

Look.
- Hey! Is this a real gun? - Yes.

From where did you get this?

I stole it from dad's closet.

Does your dad keep a gun with him?

Is that a smart question to ask?
- No. No...

Well, then... Bengali detective,
would you like to try?

No, I can't use this.

Where have you landed me, Lord Hanuman.

Please help me get out of this trouble.

Are you scared?
- Of course, dear. I'm a little scared.

What are doing?

Enjoy the fear.
- How can I enjoy fear?

It's fun.

It may be fun for you but not me.

Go and keep it back in your
dad's closet. Go and keep it.

You've to learn.

I'm assuring you,
I know about your concert.

But, I told you before it's
not the way it works in London.

It's not going to work over here. Okay.

No. No. Thank you.

No. No. Thank you.

Let me help you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

"He's the messenger of Rama,
the powerful one."

"The son of Anjani and Pawan."

Say.

"It sails by without any reason."

"It sails by..."

You've to do it once again.
Wait. get ready.

One. Two. Three. Four.
- Don't make me laugh.

One. Two. Three. Four.

"O he sails by without any reason..."

"It sails by..."

The sight of it scares me.

Enough of your fear.

Hold it.
- No.

Hold it, George.
- I can't use it. Believe me. - What?

I was not like this.
- Not like what?

The one who plays with guns.
- Don't play.

Don't play anymore.

You must put a prey before the lion.
- What?

The game has to end somewhere.
- The game?

Yes.

No! No!

I'll get the shit out of you, bitch.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Frieda. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Hello George.

"When he and I can be as one."

"Black is the colour
of my true love's hair."

"How I wish that day will soon come!"

"When he and I can be as one."

"Black is the colour
of my true love's hair."

Thank you, George.

Hey! Sit properly.

Can't you see that
there's a lady next to me?

"Say Lord Hanuman!
- Glory to Him."

"Lord hanuman!
- Glory to Him."

"O boatman..."

"Help me anchor my boat."

"The son of Pawan (wind-god),
the saviour."

"The auspicious one.'

"The one in whose heart resides Ram,
Lakshman and Sita."

"Say Lord Hanuman!
- Glory to Him."

"The son of Pawan.
- Glory to Him."

Glory to Lord Hanuman!

Tea for you.

Tea.

You didn't call me an evil man today.

I didn't add sugar to your tea.

I'm used to it.

They've mentioned in the newspaper
that monsoon is coming. Look.

Do you love me?

Yes, I love you.

Remember that no one
waited for you except me.

"The one who was the
beloved of my dreams."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"I spent my days looking for her."

"The one who was the
beloved of my dreams."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"You came close to me
at an auspicious moment."

"You covered up my shyness."

"Black is the colour
of my true love's hair."

"His lips are like some roses fair."

"He has the sweetest smile
and the strongest hands."

"And I love the ground
where on he stands."

"I love my love and well he knows."

"You came close to me
at an auspicious moment."

"You covered up my shyness."

"Now I've understood who you are."

"The one who was the
beloved of my dreams."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"I couldn't figure her out."

"The one who may send
me back with neglect."

"The one who may draw me near."

"Whose soul may ache for me,
the one who'll value my love."

"Who will call me to be close?"

"The ever persistent doubts..."

"The ever persistent doubts..."

"I couldn't face them."

"I could only understand you."

"You came close to me
at an auspicious moment."

"You covered up my shyness."