Hands Across the Rockies (1941) - full transcript

What do you think,
Dade?

DADE: Well, I'll tell you,
Pop,

looks to me like Jessup's
got a pretty good idea.

Of course I have,
and I'm willing
to pay you for,

let's say,
for any inconvenience
it causes you.

How's it strike you,
Hi?

I'll think better after
Juneau starts talkin' money.

RUFE: Hi's right, Jessup.

How much you reckon
on paying us
for accommodating you?

Hmm, well,
that depends.

A lot of things
to be considered.



In the first place,
how's she going
to feel about it?

RUFE: I'll take care
of that part.

Next time
I won't miss, Peale.

I thought my father
said for you to
get out and stay out.

What are you aiming
to do with Marsha?

I know you're
up to something.

Supposing we are?

We know what we're doin'

and you'd better not come
around here again.

You can't threaten me.
Marsha and me are
getting married.

Why, you!

[GUN FIRES]

I'm not wasting no more
breath on you, Peale.

Next time you come
snooping around here,



I'm gunning you down
for trespassing.

Now, get out!

And remember this,
I'd just as soon kill you
as look at you.

What's the matter?

We just found
a young fellow
sneaking around

that we've been having
a lot of trouble with.

Who told you
to come out here?

Why, I only wanted
to see if...

Get back
in your room.

Get in there, quick!
Hurry up.

I'm sorry about all
this rumpus, Juneau.

Pop told that jasper before
to get off our place

and leave
Marsha alone.

After tonight,
I'll take care of Marsha.

Come on, let's get down
to business.

Did you ever ask a lawyer
if it's all right?

How do you mean, Dade?

Well, are you sure a wife
can't be forced to be witness

against her own husband?

Oh, yes,
I'm very sure.

You know, I'm kind of sorry
Marsha happened along

when you and old man Taylor
had that argument.

I mean, it ain't easy for me
losing Marsha,

even though
she's only my niece.

Oh, yes,
I know all about it.

But then again,
$10,000 might make us
feel some better.

You can save
the crocodile tears, Rufe.

I always heard you Crawleys
drive a hard bargain.

Now, that ain't a nice thing
to say, Juneau.

It's worth something to us,
losing Marsha.

Yeah,
it's worth a lot.

Maybe it is,

but you seem to forget
Marsha can still divorce me,

and then tell
what she saw.

Oh, now, you oughtn't
to treat people like us
that way, Jessup,

owning
the Saddlehorn Saloon

and practically running
the whole town of
Independence.

Why, you're a rich man.

Stop whining, Rufe.

You're getting more out
of this than you'd
clear here in 10 years.

Meaning exactly
how much?

$2,000 when
she marries me,

and $1,000 a year
for the next three years
if she stays married.

Well, I...

You ain't over-generous,
are you, Juneau?

That's a good offer,
and we're takin' it.

Now, hold on, Hi.

It might be worth a lot to us
to have Jessup in the family.

JESSUP: Now you're
being smart.

Pop told you
not to come out here.

Oh, you can't
make me marry him.

I'll do anything.

I'll go away,
I promise you I will.

I'll never tell anybody
about seeing you shoot
old man Taylor.

You'll never tell anybody
nothing when I'm through
with you.

Come on!

Oh, Rufe, better come down
to the Saddlehorn tomorrow

and we'll finish
our business.

I don't think
we'll have any more trouble
with Marsha.

After you two
get hitched,

there won't be nobody
botherin' about

who perforated
old man Taylor.

MARSHA: [SOBBING]
Please, Uncle Rufe,
I didn't mean nothin'.

Your Taylor
left some family?

Oh, just a no-good son
called Cannonball.

Between us,
I'm not very much worried
about Cannonball Taylor.

[WHISTLING]

Cannonball! Yeah?

Be careful with that
suitcase of mine.

It's the only one
I've got.

Oh, I wasn't aiming
to hurt it none, Bill.

[LAUGHING]

What's the matter
with you, driver,
for goodness sakes?

Bill, you know,
I sure do appreciate

you goin' over
to Independence with me

and help me
straighten out things
about my pappy.

Cannonball, what in the world
are you packing
that thing for?

You don't think I'm gonna
let you square the accounts

with the men who dry-gulched
my own pappy, do you?

Well, I hadn't thought
about it,

but I do know this.

You've got to
find him first.

What are you
looking at, Bill?

Have you got that newspaper
I was reading?

We'd better get aboard.

I have an idea
this is going to be
a very interesting trip.

[SHOUTING COMMAND]

[WHIP CRACKS]

Hey, driver,
wait a minute.

[LAUGHING]

I forgot the most important
piece of my baggage, driver.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[WHIP CRACKS]

♪ Have you heard
about the big adventure

♪ Happened on a stagecoach
long ago?

♪ He got on at Dallas

♪ She got on at Wallace

♪ I read it in the paper,
so I know

♪ They were passin' through

♪ They were strangers, too

♪ And the trip was
mighty long

♪ The whole darn ride,
they were side by side

♪ While the stage went
bumping along

[WHISTLING]

♪ She was young and shy
and he winked his eye

♪ As he whistled her a song

♪ Then pretty quick,
they were getting thick

♪ While the stage went
bumping along

[WHISTLING]

♪ The chassis swayed,
the horses neighed

♪ The wheels went bumpety-bump

♪ He held her hand,
and like a band

♪ His heart went
thumpety-thump

♪ So they stopped the hack
at the parson's shack

♪ And he tied them
good and strong

♪ Then back they climbed
and they pulled the blind

♪ While the stage went
bumping along

♪ While the stage went
bumping along

♪ Along

♪ The stage went
bumping along ♪

[SIGHS]
Boy, wasn't that good?

I'm glad you got that
out of your system

'cause there ain't
gonna be anymore.

Anybody got a match?

You got a match?

Oh, I'm sorry,
I didn't hear you.

I was kind of interested
in this paper.

That's all you've done
since we left Pawnee.

Must be mighty
interesting reading.

It is.

All about this fellow
they say is the toughest man
west of Kansas.

Must be a pretty tough hombre
from what it says here.

Say what his name was?

Cash Jennings.

Doesn't happen to be
a picture of him there
with that writing, does there?

No.

But I can give you
a pretty good
description of him.

Go ahead.

Well, he's about 6'2"

and weighs about 210.

That might fit anybody.

Yes, but this fellow's got
black hair and wears
a mustache.

And when last seen,

wore a checked shirt
with a vest, black pants,

and carried
a white pearl-handled Colt.

Come to think of it,
that description
might fit you.

I'm waiting to hear you say
that it doesn't.

No harm meant.

I was just telling you
what it says here in the paper
about Jennings.

You weren't thinking
of catching up with Jennings

and turning him in,
were you?

No, I wasn't doing
what you might call thinkin',

but I was kind of
playin' with the idea.

Maybe somethin'
changed your mind?

CASH: I said that maybe
you'd changed your mind?

Driver, pull up
at the station ahead.

Somebody is gettin' out.

I never change my mind
without a good reason,
Jennings.

Never try that with a man
who's got his mind made up.

I'll take your gun.

Whoa. Whoa.

All right, Cash,
step out.

Thanks, Cannonball.

I knew that rifle
would be good
for something.

Who was doing
the shooting?

My friend here.

Gentlemen, here's a man
I'm sure you'll be
pleased to meet,

Cash Jennings.

Cash Jennings?

Why, you're right.

We've been looking for him
for a long time.

Take care of him,
Buell.

We appreciate
that kind of service,

right on
our front doorstep.

Who shall we say delivered
that surprise package?

Well, it doesn't make
much difference now
that you've got him.

We're in kind of a hurry
to get to Independence

and if you won't mind,
we'll get rolling.

Well, thanks, anyway.

[DRIVER SHOUTING COMMANDS]

That serves
that big galoot right.

Don't like my singing.
He gives me a big pain.

Hey, Bill, look at that boy
and that girl riding double.

That ain't the way we done
our courting back in Georgia.

Well, they don't
look too happy
for a courting couple.

No, sir.

There's a Texas brand
on that horse
that boy was ridin',

and that girl didn't seem
at all happy.

Whoa.

[CHUCKLES]
She ain't gonna
throw me this time.

[GRUNTS]

No, it didn't
throw you.

You can get yourself
tangled up

more than
any man I ever saw.

[SIGHS]

You know, Bill,
I ain't really clumsy.

[LAUGHING]

Just unlucky,
that's all.

Hey, Pop, Pop,
Peale's riding into town
right now.

Marsha's with him.

I'll teach that young feller
a lesson he never will forget.

And when I get through
with her this time,

she won't never
run away no more.

They're laying for that same
boy and girl we passed
back on the road.

Johnny!
Johnny.

So we caught you anyhow.

A fine business,
running away
from your own kin.

Bringing shame
on your whole family.

But I'll teach you...

Don't touch her
with that quirt.

Say, this here's
my own niece,

and that there
young squirt,

why, he ain't no better
than a--a kidnapper.

That's what he is,
a kidnapper.

If I was you, mister,
I'd just keep out of this.

Hey, Bill,
I'm kind of needing
me some advice here.

I don't know whether I should
shoot that old coot first

or this big bull here
with that gun

or should I nail that little
skinny lizard with the knife.

Sorry, Cannonball,

but if there's
to be any shooting,
I'm feeling kind of selfish.

Well, I ain't letting
this hammer down slow

unless they put away
that knife there
and that gun.

Why, I wasn't aiming
to hit her with the quirt.

What is this anyhow?

We don't stand
for no gunplay
in this town.

It's mighty nice of you
to tell these gentlemen.

Marshal, we're preferring
charges of kidnapping
against him.

He went and stole
Marsha away.

It is not true,
Marshal.

I went off with Johnny
of my own...

Hey, Bill, what's that
old coot trying to do,
commit suicide?

You quit threatening people
with that there rifle.

Put it away,
Cannonball.

The marshal sounds
mighty convincing.

Don't worry
about him, Marshal.

What about this boy?

Well, kidnapping's
a mighty serious charge
in this territory.

Then if I were you,
I'd take your prisoner
and lock him up

where he'll be safe.

It's a good thing for you
the circuit judge gets
in town tomorrow,

a mighty good thing.
Come on.

Let's go,
Cannonball.

A stranger in town
is apt to be judged
by the company he keeps.

He can't talk to us
like that.

He did.

Somebody better
tell Jessup.

Pa and me
will go over.

You take Marsha out
to the ranch and see that
that's where she stays.

Come on, Pa.

Find her?

Yeah, we found her,
all right.

The marshal's got
Peale locked up.

And Dade took the girl
back to the ranch.

All right, we'll have
the wedding tomorrow.

You'd better,
and quick.

Why, what's the hurry?

You tell him.

Well, Hi means that...

Taylor's son come
back to town.

Cannonball?

I've never
seen him before,

but the fellow with him
called him Cannonball.

Yeah, and the tall hombre
that's backing his play
don't scare easy.

He don't scare at all.

Well, neither do I.

Who is he?
What's his name?

The only name we heard
was Bill.

Don't know
the rest of it.

He looks like a mighty
handy man with the irons,
Juneau.

I told you
I didn't scare.

As for bills, well, I always
make a point of paying
mine off personally.

[LAUGHING]

You hear that, Hi?
That's a good one.

He pays
his bills personal.

I don't think he'll find it
quite so funny.

I'll bet he won't.

Bill, you still ain't told me
where we're goin'.

You ain't forgotten
what we come over here for,
have you?

No, but the reception we got
when we arrived in town

was kind of interesting.

Yeah, but me, I always say,
one thing at a time.

I'm afraid that won't
work here, Cannonball.

You see, I have never yet
seen just one bad apple
in a barrel.

Well, I'm just a buck private
in this here man's army.

Where we going,
General?

Right now, I'm going over
and talk to that gent

who wears
the marshal's badge.

Well, he ain't going
to tell you nothing,
not him.

You never can tell.

The town lawman might be
able to tell us a little bit

about why things happen,

and maybe who gunned down
your dad.

Good afternoon,
Marshal.

What's the idea
in sneaking in here?

I thought we should get
better acquainted.

What's your name?

Bemis.Bemis?

Hickok is my name.
Bill Hickok.

Not Wild Bill Hickok?

Folks have got
to calling me that.

Folks who didn't agree
with me.

But I'm really
a peaceable man.

Looking for something,
Marshal?

Yeah. Where's that
other feller?

The one who looks
like a groundhog
and packs a rifle.

Oh, he's watching you.

Huh?

Let me tell you, Hickok,
I'm the marshal
of this here town

and I don't stand for
no gun-toting shenanigans.

Then maybe you weren't
around when Dan Taylor was
dry-gulched.

Taylor? What has he
got to do with it?

I was just wondering.

I got a good mind
to throw you
in the calaboose.

I find fault
with both those statements.

Both them statements?

Whether you've got
a good mind or not
is open to proof.

And furthermore, I doubt
whether you could put me
in that calaboose.

What are you after
anyhow?

I want to see
your prisoner.

He ain't allowed
no visitors.

I'm not a visitor.
I'm his lawyer.

Well, he ain't told me
about no lawyer,

and if he ain't told me,
he ain't got none.

Weren't you just asking
about my assistant,

the one with the gun?

Well, all right,

but don't you try no tricks,
because I'll be watchin'.

CANNONBALL:
And don't you try
any tricks either, Marshal,

'cause I'll be
watchin', too.

Peale, this feller says
he's your lawyer.

I hope you
don't mind, Marshal,

but I want to talk
to my client alone.

Peale, there are
a few questions
I'd like to ask you.

I don't want any lawyer.

But you've got one.

Who are you, anyway?

Right now that doesn't make
much difference.

Son, there's a question
in my mind

as to whether
you're ever coming to trial.

What are you drivin' at?

I've got an idea there are
a couple of people
in this town

who'd rather not hear
what you've got to say
in court.

Oh, they wouldn't dare
do that.

I believe I can help you,
if you'll let me.

How?

Well, I don't know yet,

but first, you've got to do
a lot of talking,

and I want the truth
from you, Peale.

Why are they so anxious
to keep you and the girl
from getting married?

I can't tell you that.

Please, you've got
to understand me.

I'm trying to understand,

but you're not making
much sense.

It would make sense
if you knew Jessup.

Jessup? Who's he?

No, I'm not saying
anything.

Marsha wouldn't be safe
a minute.

Well, what I can't figure out
is what Marsha has to do
with this fellow Jessup.

Don't keep asking me.

I tell you,
I just can't tell you.

Well, all right, son.

What's your name?

Finney, sir.

Abel Finney, Jr.

[CANNONBALL LAUGHING]

Abel Finney, Jr.
Ain't that a funny name, Bill?

And can you imagine,
he says he's
the prosecuting attorney

for this sink of iniquity.

Bandits.

Threatening qualified
servants of the law,

invading the premises.

Cannonball,
put that gun down.

Don't you know you shouldn't
threaten qualified servants
of the law

and invade the premises?

You've got to treat officers
with respect.

Oh, Bill, I was just
entertaining them.

I was telling them
about the time

I scalped old George Mackus
by mistake.

You're to blame
for this.

Oh, Mr. Prosecutor,
surely you must know

that every man is innocent
until proved guilty.

Certainly I know it.

If there's anything I know,
it's the law.

Well, in that case,
I'd be very careful

before I accused anybody
of being responsible
for anything.

I came here
to see my client.

Your client?

Yes. I'm representing
Johnny Peale,

and if you're interested,
I'm holding both you
and the marshal responsible

for his appearance
in court tomorrow

and for the conduct
of a proper trial.

Oh, Bill, good night.

I was just going to tell them
about the time I heaved
the hand-axe at Billy Barton

and threw it
just a little high

and put a dadgum part right
down the middle of the hair.

Maybe they'd rather hear it
another time, Cannonball.

Now, if you'll
just load that rifle,

maybe we can kill
one bird for two crimes.

[LAUGHING]

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

There's
two of them now.

Well, let's go then.

Where do you think
you're goin'?

Oh, I just thought
I'd go to bed.

What for?
It's early yet.

Better sit down and wait
till Pop gets back.

Oh, please, Dade,

if he wants to see me,
h-he can wake me up.

I'm not going to try
and run off.

You'd better not.

Stay here and keep your eye
on your friend in there.

Why did you come out here?

Has anything happened
to Johnny?

No, ma'am, not yet.

You see,
I want to help you two,

but he's afraid of what may
happen to you if he talks.

Oh, he shouldn't
be afraid.

They wouldn't dare do
anything to me.

Johnny seems
to think they might.

What's Jessup got
to do with this?

Well, if one of you
doesn't start to talk,

there's not going to be
much I'll be able to do.

HICKOK: You want
to marry him, don't you?

MARSHA: Oh, yes,
that's where we were going
when they caught us.

You can't marry a man
who's in jail for life,

or what's worse,
never gets a chance
to stand trial.

[CHOKING]

Bill!

Bill!

Bill!

[GRUNTING]

RED: What do you think
of the trial tomorrow?

JOE: I don't see
any sense in trying
a case like that, anyhow.

You're right.
A 100% right.

Well, if the Crawleys
go down to jail and
hold their own trial

before the judge
gets here,

it'll not only save
the county expense,

but it'll save them having
a family shame like that
aired in open court.

If I was one of the Crawleys,
I'd have that young Peale
tied to a tree right now.

JOE: Just let 'em say
the word, I'll help 'em.

RED: That's right.

[MEN CLAMORING] JESSUP: Now, now, wait
a minute, boys, wait a minute.

I wasn't recommending
anything.

I was just sort of,
well, thinkin' out loud.

You don't mind
if I think out loud,
do you?

No, I never object
to a man thinkin',

as long as he's careful
how he thinks.

I never worry much
about my thinkin'.

It just kind of
takes care of itself.

And now let me introduce
my assistant,

Cannonball Taylor.

[GUN COCKING]

And I'd like
to introduce myself.

My name is Bill Hickok.

Hickok?

Sorry, it doesn't mean
a thing to me.

Do you mind if I give you
a word of advice?

Not at all.

I understand that
this afternoon you
interested yourself

in something that
didn't concern you.

It might not have
concerned me at the time.

Well, Hickok,
it doesn't concern you now.

We welcome strangers
in Independence,

but we see to it
that they mind
their own business.

I'm a lawyer,
Mr. Jessup,

and a part of my business
is drawing up wills

for men who haven't got
long to live.

Have you made your will,
Jessup?

I don't think there's
any hurry about that.

Another part of my business
is conducting trials.

And there's going to be
a trial tomorrow.

I hope that makes
sense to you.

You men are
being smart.

This gun goes off
with a hurrah and a bang.

I hate to interfere
with your plans, Jessup,

but it would be unwise
for anyone,

anyone at all,
to leave this place
within the next few minutes.

[SIGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

They're here, Jessup.

Be right out.

You boys stay around
the place. I may need you.

Okay.

Well, where's Dade?

He got shot up
last night.

Red, take her over to court
and keep an eye on her.

That won't be hard
to do. Come on.

What's going to happen
if things don't turn out
right in court?

I told you I'd
take care of you,
didn't I?

All you've got to do when
they get you on the stand is
what I told you last night.

That talk's easy,
Jessup,

but those lawyers can ask
a lot of embarrassing
questions.

I almost hope
this one does.

Why do you
say that?

Because the sooner
he opens his mouth,

the sooner I'm going
to stick my foot in it,
boot and all.

You coming over?

No, not yet.

If anything happens,
Red will let me know.

The old man
would feel better
if you was there.

I'll be there
when I'm needed.

I'm waiting for
some boys to show up,
boys I can trust.

Nice day for a trial,
isn't it, gentlemen?

I'm gonna kill
that man.

Maybe you'll get
your chance.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[GAVEL BANGING]

CLERK: Everybody get up.

This here court,
Judge Plunkett presiding,

is now open for business.

Everybody sit down.

[GAVEL BANGS]

[ALL CHATTERING]

Quiet! Quiet!

Take your hats off.

This is Circuit Court
Number 12

and I am in full charge
of the same.

Now if there's any doubt
in your minds about that,

just pay attention
to this 10 gauge.

It's loaded
with a buckshot.

My wife tells me
I ain't got much patience,

and she's right.

I don't stand for no swearing
or hollering or taking on
in my court.

So if you see anybody
with an impulse like that,

you'd better stop 'em quick

because when this blows,
she blows awful wide.

Oh, yeah,
I just recollected,

this town's got
a reputation that smells
to the high heavens.

I aim to clear that atmosphere
before I leave here today.

Now, this here is
a kidnapping case.

Well, I don't know much
about kidnapping,

but I promise you
I'll do a bang-up job.

You lawyers ready?

The prosecution
is ready.

The defense is ready.

Well, then what are we
waiting for?

Let's hear your case.

Oh, yeah,
we got to have a jury.

Hey, you 12 men over there
on my right there in those
two aisles, stand up.

Any of you drunk
or half-witted

or got an impediment
that'll keep you
from thinking straight?

All right, you're the jury.

Sit over here.

You got through
the gate first.
You're foreman.

Sit there on the end.

Now, keep your ears open
and your mouths shut

and we'll get along
all right.

Either one of you lawyers
want to challenge
any of these jurors?

No!

All right,
let's hear your case.

[CLEARING THROAT]

Your Honor,

we intend to prove
that the defendant,
said John Peale...

Don't tell me what
you intend to prove.
Just prove it.

Well, but,
Your Honor...

Do you want to hear
a lot of hot air

about what he intends
to prove?

No, Your Honor.

I'm quite satisfied
that the court is well able

to judge the merits
of this case without
any unnecessary conversation.

And don't you go
to wasting my time
with any long speeches.

Of course not,
Your Honor,

and just so we don't waste
any more of the court's time,

I'd like some bench warrants
issued now so that I can
summon my witnesses.

I object!
Your Honor,
he can't do that!

Get off the platform!

He can't, huh?

Clerk, give this here lawyer
them bench warrants he wants.

Hey,
take off your hat.

Who are you?

My assistant,
Your Honor.

I'd like him to serve
these bench warrants.

All right, but tell him to
keep his hat off in my court.

Yes, Your Honor.
Keep your hat off
in the courtroom.

And you, Mr. Prosecutor,
if you got any witnesses,

get 'em up here
on the stand.

FINNEY: Your Honor,
my first witness
will be Mr. Rufus Crawley.

PLUNKETT: All right, get him
up here in the chair
and swear him in.

What's up? Hickok's trying
to pull something.

Well, don't stand there
like a dummy. Start talkin'.

He's getting the judge
to sign some sort of papers,

warrants or something
for witnesses.

Witnesses?
Why, he's got no witnesses.

Must be
some sort of a trick.

That's why I come out
and told you.

I don't know
who his witnesses are,

but I know a way
to take care of 'em.

Come on inside.

Joe, get my gun.

Hank, Shorty,
come here, all of you.

Hickok's just gotten warrants
to bring in some witnesses.

I want you all to go over
and cover every window
in that courthouse.

I'm going over
to court now myself.

Keep your eyes glued on me,
and if things don't seem
to be going my way,

I'll give you a signal.

I want you to
start that crowd yelling
to string up Peale.

That ain't gonna be
so easy.

Some of those people
may think he's innocent.

You just get
the thing started.

I'll handle the rest.
Now beat it.

Now, Mr. Crawley,
you say you are
the girl's legal guardian?

That's just what I am.

And you were her guardian
on the morning
of March the 16th?

Now, let me see...

If Crawley knows anything
about this case,

let him say it himself.

Look here, Crawley,
if you got any testimony
this court wants to hear,

get it out of your system.

Otherwise, you can step down.

FINNEY:
Go ahead, Mr. Crawley.

I'm sure the court will
overlook your nervousness
after all you've been through.

Well, there ain't
much to tell.

This here no-good Peale
come out and made Marsha
a lot of fancy promises.

Then he waited
for his chance.

As soon as our
backs was turned,

he grabbed her
and made off with her.

Why, that lying old devil.

There he sits now,
him and his fancy lawyer,

laughing at the shame
he brought on Marsha and us.

Is that the whole story?

FINNEY: Well, these are
the barest facts of the case,
Your Honor.

There's a great deal more
I wish to bring out to color
it for you so that you may...

Get off my desk.

I ain't interested
in no colors.

Facts is what I want,
and facts is what
I'm going to get.

You got any more to say?

You want to ask this here
witness any questions?

HICKOK: Yes, Your Honor.

Go to it.

[ALL CHATTERING]

There's Callie.

My wife, too.

Silence! Silence!
What is all this?

Who are these women?

If you'll permit me,
Your Honor,

these ladies are
my witnesses.

Your Honor, I object!

Why, this is a travesty
on the law.

I told you to keep
off my platform!

Objection overruled.
Shut up.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet.

I'm through talkin'.

But, Your Honor... Sit down!

There you are, Bill,
all six of 'em.

The rest of the jury
ain't even married.

And here's
the old buzzard's whip.

I want you
to keep your eye
on Jessup.

I'd kind of like him
to stay here.

Jessup.

If I may, Your Honor,
I think I can explain this.

Explain it?

Why, Your Honor,
these ladies are wives
of six of the jury.

This is an outrage!

I think the jurors can judge
for themselves whether
that's an outrage.

[PEOPLE CHUCKLING]

What'd you bring them
into court for, mister?

As witnesses.

But, Your Honor,
he can't do that!

For once you're right!

Look here,
young fellow,

I've been pretty lenient
with you so far

because you've been smart
enough not to yell at me

like I was
in the next county.

But you can't get away
with this.

HICKOK: Well, in that case,
Your Honor,

you might as well
sentence the boy

without listening
to anything he might say
in his own defense.

What's that?

There is no question

that Marsha Crawley
ran off with my client.

You mean you're entering
a plea of guilty.

Far from it, Your Honor.

I said that Miss Crawley
ran off with my client.

And I'm sure that
these six ladies can
convince the court

that she had good reason to.

Your Honor,
I object!

This is irrelevant,
immaterial

and has no bearing
whatsoever on the case!

Look here, mister,

you hear what I said
about hollering before?

A-And that's enough
of that kind of language.

How do you expect to get
a fair decision from a jury

when you got
half their wives
on your side?

I was depending on the court's
sense of justice
to instruct the jury

that their relationship
to these witnesses
must bear no weight.

Of course, if the court
would rather not...

Who said the court
would rather not?

All we're interested in
is the-- is the truth.

Realizing that,
Your Honor,

is the reason
I summoned these ladies.

To help the court
get at the truth.

I felt that they would be
of great benefit

serving, Your Honor,
as expert witnesses.

Expert? What kind of
experts are they?

I feel that even
the prosecutor will grant
that they are qualified

to judge whether my client
forced Miss Crawley
into running away.

Well, I don't know
what you're getting at,
young fella,

but go ahead
for the time being.

Thank you,
Your Honor.

Crawley,
is this your quirt?

Why, I... It, uh...

Answer yes or no.

You stole it and I'll have
the law on you!

Look here, Crawley,

you're gonna get more law
than you can shake a stick at,

if you don't stop that
hog-calling in my court!

Now, is it or is it not
your quirt?

Yes. Yes what?

Yes, Judge.

Who asked you
to be polite?

I mean, is it, yes,
it is your quirt,
or, no, it ain't?

It belongs to me.

I'd like to enter this
as Exhibit A for the defense.

You got any objections?

Accepted.

[ALL LAUGHING]

HICKOK: Thank you, Your Honor.

And now I'd like
to introduce Exhibit B.

Exhibit B,
Miss Marsha Crawley.

I, Your Honor...
I--I...

PLUNKETT: You what?

I object.

You object to what?

Trying to make an exhibit
out of a person.

He can't do that.

He can't?

Why, certainly, Your Honor,
he can't.

Well, since you
know so much,

maybe you can point me out
the law that says that?

Well, no, Your Honor,
but it stands to reason.

Not to my reason, it don't.

Son, what are you trying
to get at?

The quirt and the girl
are the two things

I'd like to have examined
by the expert witnesses.

And if it pleases
the court,

since these ladies are
of unquestionable integrity,

I'd like to suggest
that they conduct

their examination
in the anteroom.

I object!
I object!

That's one trick he ain't
gonna get away with.

Maybe you can tell me why?

Because the law says
the witnesses ain't allowed

to take the evidence
out of the court
unless they're watched.

Finney, are you
insinuating

that my wife can't be trusted
without being watched?

Yeah, how about that?

Yeah, what about that?
You know so much.

Can he or can't he?

Well, maybe he can.

This court don't
take no maybes.

Can he or can't he?

Well, I guess, um...
I mean, he can.

And you ain't got
no objections?

[SIGHS]

No objections.

Ladies, you take
these two exhibits
into the next room

and get back here
as quick as you can.

[ALL CHATTERING]

[GUN COCKS]

We don't want you
to leave yet.

If the court pleases,

would you appoint
one of these ladies
to speak for the group?

You ladies
all in agreement?

We sure are, Judge,
and we got plenty to say.

Then you can step right
up here in the chair
and have your say.

Clerk, stop wasting time.
Swear in the witness.

FINNEY: This is
highly irregular, Your Honor.

You'll get your chance.

Do you swear
to tell the truth,

and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?

I do.

HICKOK: Did you
examine the body
of Miss Marsha Crawley?

CALLIE: You bet we did.

Hey, Mr. Judge, look who's
trying to sneak out.

I'll judge
the whole lot of you.

What do you mean yelling out
in open court?

I believe, Your Honor,
he was only
calling your attention

to the fact that Crawley's son
might be needed here later.

Crawley's son, eh?

You're staying right
in this courtroom, brother.
Sit right down there.

I believe you had
two exhibits to examine.

Will you tell the court
exactly what you found
in those examinations?

That girl was beat
with this quirt.

That's what we found.

Welts on her shoulders
and arms as big as my finger.

What?

Who done that?

Why didn't you
tell me that?

Jessup said not to.

Your Honor...

Objection overruled.

Oh, I--I wasn't objecting,
Your Honor.

PLUNKETT: You wasn't?

No, I simply wanted
to tell you that I would like
to withdraw from this case.

Oh, you would,
would you?

There are certain phases
of this case that I was
not familiar with.

Mister, there's a lot
of things you ain't
familiar with.

And one thing is, you ain't
backing out of this now.

You started it, didn't you?

There's no law that says
I have to stay here.

Oh, there ain't, huh?

Ever hear of
contempt of court?

Yes, but you can't...

There, now you done it!

Marshal, I sentence
this galoot to 30 days
for contempt of court.

Take him away.

You can't lock up
the prosecutor.

No.

What's your name?

Marshal Bemis.

Well, get him out of here,
or for the next six months

you ain't going to have
a name, just a number.

I'm gonna appeal
that 30 days.

Another 30 days.
Second offense.
Appeal that, too.

[ALL CHATTERING]

Quiet! Quiet!

Young fella, you're nothing
but an out-and-out slicker.

[CHUCKLING]

But you get results.

Thank you,
Your Honor.

Now is there anything else
you found or wish
to tell the court?

I got a few things to tell,

and they're all aimed
at that good-for-nothing
I'm married to.

That girl was
no more kidnapped

than I was
when I married you.

And if you want to
live home anymore,

you better decide
this case right.

Now don't get
excited, Callie.

The jury's got nothing
to do with it.

This is
a plain case of perjury.

Charges against Johnny Peale
dismissed.

[ALL CHEERING]

And I sentence Rufe Crawley
to 10 years in the calaboose
for lying in my court.

[ALL CHEERING]

Quiet!

Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!

And I'm just
getting started.

Your Honor,
there's another case
I'd like to try

which does not appear
on the docket.

Oh, letting your success
get to your head, huh?

I don't consider
the case just tried

turned out as it did
because of me.

I was only interested
in bringing out the truth.

Well, what's this other case?

Before I mention it,

I'd like to
call your attention
to the fact

that this court is
without a marshal
or a prosecutor.

Yeah, I know that.

And in order to try this case
I have in mind,

it'll be necessary
to have both.

I'd like to volunteer
the services of myself
and Cannonball Taylor

to fill those posts
temporarily.

Well, I ain't appointing
any officers till I find out
what you're getting at first.

We have a witness in court,
Miss Marsha Crawley,

who can prove that Dan Taylor
was murdered a few weeks ago
by Juneau Jessup.

[ALL CLAMORING]

What's going on
out there?

Never mind.
Get the cash box.

We're making tracks
out of here.

Look out!
The back door.

[RIFLE FIRES]

Cannonball.

Wait, this is my job.

[GUN FIRING]

Oh, Judge,
about Jessup.

Oh, shooting Jessup
was a public service.

Besides, it saved the state
a lot of money.

We don't have to feed him.

Don't bother me
about that now.

I've gotta make out
this wedding license.

[ACCORDION PLAYING
WEDDING MARCH]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, uh, telegram for you,
Bill.

The wedding license
is all ready.

All you two have to do
is sign it.

♪ Ro-ro rollin'

♪ A cowboy's got
to keep rollin'

♪ When his job is done
with the settin' sun

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin'

♪ No back-slidin'

♪ A cowboy's got
to keep ridin'

♪ He don't grow no roots
on his high-heeled boots

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin'

♪ Ladies, ladies

♪ Take a tip from me

♪ A cowboy husband

♪ Don't come with a guarantee

♪ He may marry

♪ But don't expect him
to tarry

♪ When he sees a horse,
he's a total loss

♪ He goes ro-ro rollin'

[ALL LAUGHING]

Well, Cannonball,

I'm afraid we're not
even gonna be able to stay
for the wedding.

Oh, but you must.

Someone's got to give
the bride away, Hickok.

There's nothing
I'd like better,

but Cash Jennings
broke out of jail.

I turned him in,
and it's my job
to get him back.

I wish there was some way
we could show
our appreciation.

Oh, forget it.

Hickok, there's one thing
I want to know
before you leave.

If I can ever be
of service to the court?

Where did you become
a counselor-at-law?

Well, I'm afraid someone
must have misquoted me.

You see, I said that I was
a counselor at gun law.

Counselor at gun...

[ALL LAUGHING]

That's a hot one.