Halloween at Aunt Ethel's (2018) - full transcript
Everyone in town knows the story of Old Aunt Ethel. It's said she makes Halloween candy and pumpkin pie out of the kids that trick-or-treat at her house. This Halloween, the neighborhood teens are going to find out the truth.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
Why're we stopping?
It's the car.
You know, these old cars,
they're always overheating, so.
Okay, so now what?
We just gotta wait a couple minutes.
I don't wanna be late for the party.
Just a couple minutes.
I got an idea of what we could do
while we're waiting.
Oh yeah, what's that?
Butt stuff.
What?
Kissing, I thought we could just kiss.
Classic
American
kissing.
I should call my sister and
tell her I'm gonna be late.
Sure.
Yeah, do that.
Family first.
Then teamwork.
Hey.
No, we're on our way.
No.
Jay's car overheated,
so we're just waiting for it to cool down.
No, I'm fine.
I am fine, trust me.
No, he's not.
Mandy.
Trust me.
Okay, I'll see.
Mandy, please don't tell Mom
because, you know,
the way she gets.
Everything okay?
Yeah.
How's the car?
Probably just got
another couple of minutes.
Hey,
I stole some Halloween candy
from some kids in my neighborhood.
You want a piece?
Yeah, actually, I do.
Ah.
What?
What do you say?
Trick-or-treat?
There you go, go for it.
I can't feel anything.
You got it, just pull on it!
Pull on it!
- Please.
- I'm trying, it's stuck.
Just keep pulling on it.
Keep grabbing.
It's like a Toostie Roll.
It's a full-size candy bar.
What?
What happened?
What?
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Where you going?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You don't have to go, it was just a joke.
You're fucking disgusting.
It was a joke!
What're you doing?
Jay, just fuck off.
You're just gonna walk home?
I'll find a ride, just go.
Sara, it was just a joke.
I'll find a ride, just go, just go.
You know, it's going to be
hard for you to find a ride
when you don't have this.
Give me that.
Give me that.
You want this?
Give me the phone.
- Give me the phone.
- Ooooooh.
Have fun walking, bitch.
Jay!
Jay!
Asshole.
Fuck!
Oh, shit!
Hello?
I just need to use your phone.
Can somebody help me, I just need,
I just need to use the phone.
Hello?
Hello?
Is anyone in here?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Sara.
Jay?
Jay!
Trick 'r treat.
It's another
beautiful October day
here in Yost Town.
Halloween's right around
the corner, folks.
I'll be in Inebriate
City for the two for ones
and don't forget, the girls
with the sluttiest costumes
get in free and drink till they pass out.
I'm your man, DJ Dick,
"from 105.6 The Mix,"
putting hits all up in your mouth.
Have you ever killed anything?
What?
Like, when you were younger.
Every kill a bird, cat or anything?
I killed a pet fish
by overfeeding it once.
Have you ever just wanted
to just kill someone?
I don't know, maybe.
Hey, what's up with
you and Ricky anyway?
Did you fuck him yet?
Jesus, Mandy.
What?
Don't tell me you haven't fucked him yet.
Maybe.
Whatever, Melissa.
At least given a handy?
You're such a slut.
Oh wait, look.
There she is.
Who?
Old Aunt Ethel.
Why do they call her "Old Aunt Ethel?"
Because, like 20 years ago,
she killed her entire family in that house
and all the neighbors could
hear someone inside yelling,
"Stop, Aunt Ethel!
"Please, God, stop, Aunt Ethel!"
Hey!
Jesus, Mark.
You scared the shit out of me.
What're you scared of?
I haven't even pulled it out yet.
Ew.
Gross.
Guys!
I love this girl.
Oh.
Just telling Melissa, here,
the story of Old Aunt Ethel.
Oh yeah, it's almost Halloween, huh?
What does that mean?
So Old Aint Ethel,
every year on Halloween,
she lures the kids inside.
Says she has very special candy,
candy that's gonna make
all their wishes come true.
And when she gets them inside,
she slaughters them,
sawing off their limbs, one by one.
Yeah right.
No, it's true.
Then why isn't she in jail yet?
Because if you don't have a body,
you don't have a crime.
What does that mean?
They say that Old Aunt Ethel,
she turns all the kids' body
parts in Halloween treats,
leaving behind no remains at all.
That's one psychotic bitch.
You definitely don't wanna
go trick-or-treating at her place.
She'll turn you into pumpkin pie.
11, 12
13, 14,
15, 16, 17,
18, 19,
20.
11 more to go.
Hello.
Hey, girl, what you doin'?
You know, just "twerking
the fleek," right?
What?
I don't know.
You going to Mandy's party tonight?
I don't know yet.
I still have a lot of
studying and stuff to do.
Bitch, you better.
You on the rag or something?
What? No!
Mmmmm.
You got that heavy flow.
Girl, just double up.
Double up?
Yeah, girl, just stick
two super heavy flows
right up in that bitch
and you could party for
four hours straight.
No leakage.
Ha.
What, no, I'm not on my period.
I just don't know if I'm gonna go yet.
Girl, you gotta live a little.
This is not Ohio or
wherever the fuck you from.
We party hard out here, okay, hoe?
Okay.
Hey, do you know about all
that "Old Aunt Ethel" stuff?
Yeah, girl, everybody has
heard about Old Aunt Ethel.
I mean, is it true that
she takes all the kids
on Halloween night and stuff?
Bitch, you worry about
the wrong things, okay?
Get your shit together,
we partying hard tonight.
Okay, hoe.
Ah.
Let's see.
What do I need?
Bop!
Ah!
Ah, yes,
I need you.
Yeah!
Ah, I love that.
Woo.
Yee-haw!
Yee-haw!
Look at that.
Oh, I'm getting excited!
I'm getting excited!
Ricky!
Get the fuck out of here!
Oh!
Sorry.
And now!
Time for my famous pickled chocolates.
Mmmm, it already smells good.
Oh, the heel.
The heel and the balls.
The balls of the feet are the best.
Mmmm-mmmm, I can almost taste 'em.
I can almost taste 'em.
I love it.
Everybody loves them.
I'll eat 'em, that's for damn sure.
Yes, sir.
Perfect.
Perfect.
All right, now, let's
get these in the oven.
Ah, yes.
Of course.
With this soul, another day will come.
100!
Yeah, bitches!
Aren't you with Melissa?
What?
No, I ditched that bitch.
No fucking way.
Hey, what's up, bitch?
Are you seeing this?
Ew, what a dick.
Just come on, fuck him.
Melissa, wait!
I just can't believe
he would do this to me.
Fuck him, Melissa.
Who cares?
I care!
Well, what did you expect?
What does that mean?
You haven't even given him a handy.
Great, thanks.
Nice pep talk.
Melissa, can we please talk?
She doesn't want to talk to you, Ricky.
Melissa, please, just
give me a chance to explain.
Come on.
There's nothing to explain.
I can handle this.
Fine, go ahead, I was
just trying to help.
I really don't care about
what you have to say, Ricky.
It's all bullshit anyways.
Just leave me alone.
Yeah, fuck off, Ricky.
Leave me alone, Ricky.
It's me, Mark.
Well, is Ricky there with you?
No, he left, like, a long time ago.
Are you kidding me?
Whatever, fuck him.
Let's party.
Dr. Dick in the house.
I think I wanna go home.
Come on, Mel.
I'm really not in the mood to party.
Come on, don't let him get in the way
of you living your life, Melissa.
It's not just him.
I was up late last night
studying, I'm tired.
I'm just gonna go.
I'll walk with you.
Fuck, seriously?
You don't have to do
that, Mandy, I'm fine.
She's fine, babe.
Mark, shut up.
This is girl code.
You don't fucking get it.
You're right, I don't fucking get it.
And don't make me pull
a "Ricky" on you too.
Really, Mark?
Too soon?
Fuck you.
Eh.
I'll tell you what, Mark.
You go ahead and pull a "Ricky" on me
but you better make it worth your while
because it'll be the last time
you stick that little pee-pee
in a vagina ever again, got it?
Got it.
Now you're gonna get it.
Seriously?
Jesus.
You need to get over
him, ASAP, seriously.
I wasn't gonna say anything
but I fucked him last year
and he was, like, the
quickest cummer ever.
It was pitiful.
Mandy, are you serious?
What? It was last year
before you guys even met.
And you weren't gonna tell me?
I did just tell you.
Jesus, Mandy.
Whatevs.
My point is you need to get over him.
He's a waste of time.
Seems like everything's
a waste of time nowadays.
Oh, look.
There's Aunt Ethel.
Come on, let's go look.
No.
Come on.
Seriously?
Well, wait up.
She looks like a regular old
lady baking a cake to me.
It may seem that way
but I assure you it's not.
She's probably boiling
someone's skull right now.
Oh, come on.
Yes, sir.
This is ridiculous.
Why are we creeping
around some poor old lady?
Poor old lady?
Yeah right.
I'm going home.
This is stupid.
Mmmm-mmmm.
Yes, sir.
Mmmmmm.
Oh,
it's delicious.
Mmmmm.
Put that back in there.
Yes, sir.
Shit.
Hey!
What're you doing there?
You trick-or-treating?
Trick-or-treat.
Well, Halloween ain't for a couple days.
You're early.
I'm really bad about time, I'm so sorry.
- No.
- I'll just be going now.
You're in luck because
I never turn away company.
And I make the best pickled
Halloween treats in town.
They're chocolate and they're delicious.
Come on in.
I really should be going.
Oh, no, no, no, not yet.
Not yet, dear.
I've got some delicious treats inside.
Come on in.
- Come on, come on in.
- I should be going.
Come on.
I really don't wanna ruin
my appetite, like you said.
Halloween's a couple days away, right?
You gonna come
back to see me on Halloween?
Yeah.
You better, young lady.
Cause everyone loves
Aunt Ethel's
pickled chocolates.
They're homemade.
Mom, is that you?
Jesus, Ricky, what're you doing here?!
What?!
The front door was open.
I called for you but you didn't answer.
How long have you been here?
I just walked in.
Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Get out!
I just wanna talk.
Leave!
Before I call the cops!
Are you serious?
Get out!
Okay.
Okay.
You know, you're making
a big fucking mistake.
Jeez.
Okay, just wait here.
Don't move.
Don't move.
Shit!
I'll be right back.
No cheating.
Just wait right there.
Hello.
Hi, this is Mortimer J. Jackson.
Who?
Mortimer J. Jackson.
I'm with...
Who now?
Mortimer J. Jackson.
What?
- I'm with...
- What? What?
I'm with
Vacation Surplus, ma'am.
What do you want?
Ma'am, I
was just calling today
to ask you if you were curious about
ever wanting to take a vacation.
Ma'am, have you thought about...
No!
Ma'am, have you thought...
No!
I don't have any, I don't want any either.
Hello, ma'am?
Hey, what's up, bitch?
Hey, what're you up to?
Nothing.
You'll never guess what Ricky just did.
Did you catch him jacking
off outside your window?
What? No.
Why?
I never told you that?
Told me what?
He jacks off outside
my window sometimes.
But he does it to like everybody.
Jesus, Mandy, why did you
set me up with this creep?
I didn't want to be
the only one with crabs.
What?!
What?
Nothing, you're fine, just keep going.
What are you doing?
Nothing, wanna come over?
Yeah.
Oh, remind me,
I have something to tell
you when I get there.
You cheated.
You cheated!
I had six!
I know damn well I had six!
You cheater!
Well I'll be damned.
I do have six.
Hey, Mrs.
Cooper, is Mandy home?
Hey.
Sara, right?
Melissa, actually.
Oh, right, Melissa.
I guess you just have one
of those forgettable faces.
Oh, okay.
Is Mandy home?
Yeah.
The bitch is in her room.
So, where you guys going tonight?
Oh, I'm not sure.
Well, I can hang out
with you guys tonight
if you wanted me to.
You know what the new in thing
is these days, don't you?
What's that?
MILFs.
These young guys, they love us MILFs.
Mom's I'd Like to...
No, I got it, I got it.
I know what a MILF is.
And I could even hook you guys up.
Like when a guy hits on
me and I don't like him,
then I could let you have him.
Gee, thanks.
Okay, well just let me know.
Right.
Come in.
Jesus, you guys.
It's all good, just come in.
No, I'll wait.
Babe.
I was just about to cum.
Well now you're just about to leave.
So it's like that?
It's like that.
Look, guys, I can go.
No.
He's leaving.
This is bullshit, Mandy.
No, this is girl code, bitch.
Raised on the streets, son.
Don't get clapped up.
You know what, fuck you.
What was that?
I said, fuck you.
Prove it.
Just get out.
You are one crazy bitch.
So, what did you have to tell me?
Oh, right.
Okay, so last night I couldn't sleep,
so I ended up going on this walk.
It was like 2AM or something
and I ended up going past
Old Aunt Ethel's house
and I went up and looked in
her window and she caught me.
See saw you?
Yeah, she asked if I was
like trick-or-treating or something.
Are you kidding me?
Uh uh, and then she asked if I wanted
any of her pickled chocolates.
You didn't eat any, did you?
No.
Why?
Because those are
chocolate-covered body parts.
Oh, yeah right.
I'm serious, everyone knows
about her picked chocolates.
What are you looking for?
My fucking weed.
I bet my mom took it again.
Mom, did you take my fucking weed again?!
Fucking bitch!
For the last time, Mandy,
I did not take your weed!
Yes you did, you stole my fucking weed!
Fucking bitch!
I hate that bitch!
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing?
I just got to Joe's house.
Will you come back here first?
You just told me to leave, Mandy.
I know but I need you back.
Yeah, what do you want?
What makes you think I want something?
You don't want anything?
Okay, yes.
See, I fucking told you.
Will you go to Breed's and
get some weed for me, please?
Come on, Mandy, you know I
don't like going over there.
He's fucking crazy.
Were you followed?
No, man.
Did you circle the block
to make sure them boys didn't follow you?
Yeah, yeah dude.
Come on, motherfucker.
All right, motherfucker,
you know the drill.
Hands up.
You got anything on you?
No, no, I jut want some weed, man.
What'd you say, motherfucker?
I just wondered...
I know what you said but
why you saying it like that?
You got a wire?
No, I'm so sorry, dude!
Is this thing real?
Please don't kill me, please!
I haven't had sex without a condom yet!
And see if he has any
more of that White Tahoe.
Fine.
♪ Hey, yah, yah, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
I love you.
Hello?
Wanna hit?
You sure?
It's that White Tahoe.
♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
Hey, you know?
I'm sorry about earlier.
What's your name anyway?
Katie.
That's it.
Katie.
No!
Rachel.
Yeah.
You look like a Rachel,
that's who you are.
Rachel.
Hey, did you guys hear about Rachel?
No, what?
She went missing.
No way.
Yeah, she's been missing
for like three days.
What happened to her?
She went missing.
No, like,
like what do you think happened to her?
This stupid bitch.
I bet Aunt Ethel got her.
Why?
It's like, throughout
the whole month of October,
people disappear.
And sometimes you can
smell the bodies burning.
What do you mean?
So they say Aunt Ethel,
the body parts that she doesn't
turn into Halloween treats,
she burns in a big pile behind her barn.
You're totally fucking with me.
No, it's true.
Did you tell her our plan yet?
No, okay, so listen.
Tomorrow night is Halloween, right?
So we're gonna have a stakeout
at Aunt Ethel's house.
Why would you want to
cook steak at Aunt Ethel's?
No, a stakeout isn't when
you cook steak with someone,
you fucking idiot!
It's when you watch somebody,
like some investigative shit.
Why would you wanna do that?
We are doing that.
Why would I wanna do that?
Because, don't you wanna see
what she really does with those kids?
I'm sure she doesn't
do anything with them.
Yeah she does.
I heard that she scoops your
eyeballs out of your skull
with a spoon and then she eats them.
Oh, whatever.
Well,
Rach,
I think it's time we head out to the barn.
You just about warn out your welcome.
Now hold still, it won't hurt a bit.
Come on, oh!
Shit!
Damn!
Son of a bitch!
Come on, you slippery socket!
Gosh!
Piss!
Damn!
Bloody whore.
Oh, damn it.
Shit.
Ah.
Woo, baby.
What a beauty.
Oh, I can't wait to have you pickled.
Mmmmm, you're already good.
You're being ridiculous.
So come with us and let's find out.
Unless you're too scared.
I'm not scared of a little old lady.
You should be.
Jesus!
It's just my mom.
What are you doing in here?
Are you smoking weed in here, Mandy?
No, Mom, get out!
Oh, come on, let me get a little hit.
Get the fuck out of my room, Mom!
Whatever.
Oh,
hi Mark.
Hi, Miss Cooper.
Have you been working out?
A little bit.
Mmmmmm.
I can tell.
Gross, Mom, that's so weird.
Get out of here!
Don't be jealous, Mandy,
it's not attractive.
Trust me, I'm not jealous.
You're just gross.
You are jealous because I'm a MILF.
You're so not a MILF, Mom.
I am a MILF, Mandy!
I wish I never had you!
God, what a bitch.
I don't know, I
think she's pretty cool.
Oh, fuck you, Mark.
Hey!
What're you doing, you
dirty little pervert!
Oh, shit!
Run, rabbit, run!
Gotcha, little rabbit.
So,
here you are.
Where do I start?
Ah, yes.
You won't be needing this anymore.
Seven more.
That girl just pushed
me, can I choke her out?
What? No.
Just got tell her it wasn't very nice
and I won't play with her anymore.
Hello.
Hello, Melissa,
this is Ricky's mom.
Oh, hi.
Have you seen Ricky lately?
No, I haven't seen him in a couple days.
Well, he didn't
come home last night
and we're getting worried.
I'm sure he'll show up.
Please let
me know if you see him.
I will.
Hello?
Happy Halloween, bitch.
You ready for our stakeout tonight?
Hey, so Ricky's mom just called me
and she hasn't seen him for a couple days.
Have you?
No, matter of fact,
he didn't even jack-off
outside my window last night.
What?
Hold on, Gio.
I'm sure he's fine.
Well, if you see him, let him
know that his mom's worried.
Hey, so what're you doing today?
You wanna go shopping?
I can't, I'm at the park right now
babysitting my little nephew.
Hold on, Gio!
Okay, well call me
when you get home then.
Okay, I will, bye.
Jesus, Gio!
When I'm on the phone,
don't bother me like that.
What's up?
I chocked her out.
Oh, shit, come on.
Six more.
Six more, six more.
All right.
I think I got everything we need.
We got handcuffs,
rope,
zip ties.
We got the gun
and an apple.
What's the apple for?
I don't know, it was already there.
Oh, right, that's my apple.
Who is it?
Melissa.
Oh shit, put this stuff away, quick.
What, you didn't tell her?
No, now shut up and put it away.
What?
- Hey.
- Hi.
What's up?
What's up with you guys?
Nothing.
Yeah, nothing.
You guys are weird.
Now what?
We wait.
Wait for what?
We wait for her to take
a couple of kids inside
and then we see what she
really does with them.
And what if she doesn't?
Oh, she will.
She will.
Mandy, you've been really quiet.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, this is boring.
Could we play some music or something?
No!
Fuck!
There aren't even any
trick-or-treaters out.
That's because most people know
about Old Aunt Ethel, okay?
Kids don't come around
this block very often
but there's always that one.
And there he is.
Trick 'r treat.
Well, hello there.
Okay, here we go.
See?
I told you!
I fucking told you!
He could come back out.
Oh no, they never come back out.
He's been in there
for like 10 minutes now.
Look.
Look, another kid.
Trick or treat.
Well look at you.
Don't you look delicious.
I mean, scary.
Are you a little witch?
Yeah.
I just love witches.
Do you know any magic spells?
No.
Well guess what,
I know a real magic spell.
Do you wanna see it?
Yeah.
Come inside and I'll show you.
And there's another
one that's not going home
to Mommy and Daddy tonight.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Do what?
Listen, I didn't tell you
everything about tonight
but now you see why we have to do this.
Do what?
Mandy, what are you talking about?
We're going to kill Old Aunt Ethel.
I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.
Calm down, Mark.
You guys are crazy, you can't kill her.
Why?
She's killing poor,
innocent children, Melissa.
How can you let that happen?
We have to call the police.
Those kids will be fucking dead
before those cops ever get
here with a search warrant.
I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.
I can't do this, I
can't fucking kill her.
Look, there's a kid at the door.
Trick or treat.
That's my nephew, Gio!
Gio!
You can't go running up
there, screaming like that.
You'll never see him again.
Let go of me.
Listen to me.
Look at me, you dumb bitch!
There's a right way to do this, okay?
We're gonna save your nephew, I promise,
but not like this.
I need you to calm down and trust me.
So, look at "Miss
Toughy Pants" now, huh?
Just a second ago you didn't
want anything to do with this.
Now look at you.
It's different, Mandy,
she has my nephew.
It's always someone's
nephew, someone's brother.
Someone's sister.
It's funny how everything changes
when it's your own family, isn't it?
Well, I know exactly
how it feels, Melissa.
Aunt Ethel took a sister from me.
She took my brother from me.
Guys, I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.
You ready to kill this fucking bitch?
I'm ready to kill this bitch.
Let's kill this bitch.
Gio.
You can't cause a seen
by letting him see you.
If he starts screaming and yelling,
Aunt Ethel's gonna come out here
and we're gonna lose
out chance to end this
once and for all.
We're going to save him,
okay?
Come on.
All right, all you have to do
is wait for me to get inside.
Okay?
Then you're gonna knock on the front door
and distract Aunt Ethel.
She's gonna think it's trick-or-treaters.
When she opens the door,
bang,
I blow her fucking head off.
You guys okay?
Hey.
I got this.
Just trust me.
I love you.
What are you girls doing there?!
Nothing.
Hey,
you're that girl from the other night.
And you brought a friend with you?
Yeah.
Trick-or-treat.
Well,
I'm so glad you came back.
I have some delicious treats inside.
Come with me.
Mmmm.
Sit.
Sit.
So,
where are your costumes?
I'm dressed as her
and she's dressed as me.
Yeah.
We were trying to be funny.
Not impressed.
Mmmmm.
Mmmmm-mmmmm.
Care for some of my famous
homemade pickled chocolates?
No, thank you.
We've already eaten so much candy tonight.
Well don't look disgusted.
They're delicious.
Mmmmm.
Hey!
Hey!
Oh my God.
Dude, we're fucked.
I can never get enough of 'em.
Oh man.
Mmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmm, mmmmm.
Hey!
Hey, what the fuck?!
I can never get enough of 'em.
They are so good.
I make 'em myself, you know.
Homemade.
Can I use your bathroom, please?
Yeah.
Sure, it's in the back, there.
Come with me, Melissa.
I'm gonna go
with her, if that's okay?
Mmhmmm.
What are we gonna do?
I don't know, I don't know.
Let's just climb out this window.
No, we can't leave without Gio.
Right, okay.
Think, think, think.
Look for anything we can use as a weapon.
Okay.
Did you find anything yet?
Not unless we can use a
toothbrush or a toilet brush.
You girls all right in there?
Yeah, we'll be right out.
Well, you
have some company here.
Company?
Yes, your friend is here to see you.
Okay, okay!
Sit, sit, sit.
He wants it to be a surprise.
Yes, he wants it to be a surprise!
Stay right there and I'll be right back.
Look who's here to save you.
Isn't that sweet?
Awwwww.
"Hey,
"look at me.
"I'm the coolest kid in school
"and I'm here to save you."
He's here to save you.
Mark?
Oh, right.
So, listen,
I slit this throat.
He's only got about 15 seconds to live.
So, little girls, you got
anything you wanna say?
Mark, I'm so sorry.
You know what?
Yep.
I was wrong.
He's dead.
He didn't hear a word you said.
Fucking bitch!
You're fucking dead!
No so fast, sunshine.
Does this look familiar?
Your little friend here
said I could have it.
I've never had a gun before.
I can't wait to try it out.
You having fun, buddy?
Yeah.
Hey, let's check out the next house.
Hey, hey!
Calm the hell down, buttercup,
unless you want me to
lay you down beside her.
Is that what you want?
No, no.
Well then get a hold of yourself.
Get up.
Come on, get over here.
Get up and get your ass over here.
Push your little friend
here out of the chair
and sit down in it.
What?
Oh, is this too hard?
Push him out of the
chair and sit down in it.
Oh.
Would you put some muscle into it?
Oh, for Lord's sakes, let me.
Now, was that too hard?
Now sit down!
What are you going to do?
Little poor baby.
Listen, don't take it too personal.
You're taking it too hard.
Please don't do this.
"Please don't.
"Please don't."
There is good news.
I need to deliver 31 souls.
You get to end it
because you're number 31.
What do you mean?
Do you believe in witches?
No.
How about curses and evil spells?
No.
Well you should.
On this very day, 40 years ago,
a witch put a curse on me.
I need to deliver 31 souls
for every day that dead walk.
And you, little bunny,
make 31.
If I make 31, then Gio's 32.
You don't have to kill Gio.
Who?
There's a little boy in your barn.
His name is Gio and he's my nephew.
If I'm 31 then he's 32 and
you don't have to kill him.
Please, just take me and let him go.
Yeah, sure.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How will I know you'll
let him go if I'm dead?
You'll just have to trust me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jesus Christ, just wait a second!
Oh, come on!
I'm dying to use this thing again.
Please, there must be another way.
Trick or treat.
Okay, it's done.
There's your 31st soul.
Can we go home now, please?
I forgot to mention one little thing.
What?
What, are you going to let us go?
Oh, you can go.
Then why are you laughing?
The only way my curse
could ever be broken
is if someone else offered
to take the 31st soul for me.
What?
You
took the 31st soul for the dead.
What does that mean?
Well that means that you
are the cursed one now.
No.
No.
Aaah!
In 31 hours
or less,
you will receive a message.
It will tell you everything
you need to know.
Oh my God, it was just a dream.
Jesus Christ.
No.
No.
No!
♪ Shit ♪
♪ Listen ♪
♪ This ain't no bullshit ♪
♪ The gangsta say ♪
♪ This ain't no game, bitch ♪
♪ Real gangsta shit ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel, for real ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel, gangsta, on the scene ♪
♪ Don't fuck around ♪
♪ She is a crazy bitch, yo ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ She's a gangsta from the streets ♪
♪ She will fuck around and make
you into Halloween treats ♪
♪ She's a killa ♪
♪ From the hood ♪
♪ She's just an old lady but
she'll kill you if she could ♪
♪ It's the A to the U to the N to the T ♪
♪ To the E to the T to the H to the E ♪
♪ To the motherfucking
L, cursed by a spell ♪
♪ The witch's is life is a fucking hell ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ Keep track of your kids and
tell them that what you did ♪
♪ Stay away from Aunt Ethel
if you want them to live ♪
♪ She likes to pickle your feet ♪
♪ She likes to pickle your eyes ♪
♪ She likes to cook the
kids up into pumpkin pie ♪
♪ She's a crazy bitch
who don't give a shit ♪
♪ She chopped off Ricky's dick ♪
♪ It's a dirty game,
it's a goddamn shame ♪
♪ Everybody watch out and learn the name ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ Haven't you heard,
Aunt Ethel got to earn ♪
♪ She got fire fueled
bodies, watch them burn ♪
♪ She's gotta put in work,
she's gotta do the dirt ♪
♪ She got get it done before the 31st ♪
♪ You better watch your back, bitch ♪
♪ She got to get, bitch ♪
♪ Slow it down ♪
♪ She's gonna ratatat-tat bitch ♪
♪ You better listen
because it's like that ♪
♪ She will fuck you up and turn
you into Halloween snacks ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel, dog ♪
Melissa, wait!
All right, is that a cut?
Mom, did you take my fucking weed...
Sorry.
Got it.
Cool?
Very cool, man.
Hey!
What're you girls doing there?!
Nothing.
Hey.
It just went right in her mouth.
Ew.
I watch it go right.
What went in her mouth?
A bug just went.
I watched her spit it out.
She just went, phew.
All right, now listen up, motherfuckers.
Ya know what I mean?
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
Get it together.
Close the door.
Holy shit, that's gonna
be so fucking funny.
So where are you looking at, that light?
I'm looking at Austin's nipples.
I'm serious.
Yeah.
No, I'm serious.
That's like where I'm looking,
is right, ironically,
where his nipples are.
Okay, nipples, got it.
Right, so from Joe's
nipples to Austin's nipples.
That's my nephew, Gio!
Gio!
It's looked.
And action.
Come in.
Oh, nevermind.
What?
Come on.
Jesus, you guys.
I'm sorry.
And
action.
Ugh.
You're not gonna say your line?
I can't even.
Okay.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
♪ Hey, yo ♪
♪ It's the Uzi you, we pickle then chew ♪
♪ She'll have your ass over
than a Lifetime movie ♪
♪ Can't movie, bitch,
can't be choosy, bitch ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but a
witch just doing shit ♪
♪ It's the psycho crazy, psycho lady ♪
♪ Your crazy bitch that
will pickle your baby ♪
♪ She'll say so ♪
♪ Ain't nothing, your
bitch is gonna do nothing ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ In the hood ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ See no evil, hear no evil ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel's sitting
around pickling people ♪
♪ She's a lunatic ♪
♪ And you knew this shit ♪
♪ Real witches don't fly
around on broom sticks ♪
♪ She's a killer, a gangsta ♪
♪ She'll prisoner your shanker ♪
♪ Everybody knocking at
the door is in danger ♪
♪ So, listen closely ♪
♪ You hear the words ♪
♪ Or you'll be the one
with the bitch's curse ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪
Why're we stopping?
It's the car.
You know, these old cars,
they're always overheating, so.
Okay, so now what?
We just gotta wait a couple minutes.
I don't wanna be late for the party.
Just a couple minutes.
I got an idea of what we could do
while we're waiting.
Oh yeah, what's that?
Butt stuff.
What?
Kissing, I thought we could just kiss.
Classic
American
kissing.
I should call my sister and
tell her I'm gonna be late.
Sure.
Yeah, do that.
Family first.
Then teamwork.
Hey.
No, we're on our way.
No.
Jay's car overheated,
so we're just waiting for it to cool down.
No, I'm fine.
I am fine, trust me.
No, he's not.
Mandy.
Trust me.
Okay, I'll see.
Mandy, please don't tell Mom
because, you know,
the way she gets.
Everything okay?
Yeah.
How's the car?
Probably just got
another couple of minutes.
Hey,
I stole some Halloween candy
from some kids in my neighborhood.
You want a piece?
Yeah, actually, I do.
Ah.
What?
What do you say?
Trick-or-treat?
There you go, go for it.
I can't feel anything.
You got it, just pull on it!
Pull on it!
- Please.
- I'm trying, it's stuck.
Just keep pulling on it.
Keep grabbing.
It's like a Toostie Roll.
It's a full-size candy bar.
What?
What happened?
What?
You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Where you going?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You don't have to go, it was just a joke.
You're fucking disgusting.
It was a joke!
What're you doing?
Jay, just fuck off.
You're just gonna walk home?
I'll find a ride, just go.
Sara, it was just a joke.
I'll find a ride, just go, just go.
You know, it's going to be
hard for you to find a ride
when you don't have this.
Give me that.
Give me that.
You want this?
Give me the phone.
- Give me the phone.
- Ooooooh.
Have fun walking, bitch.
Jay!
Jay!
Asshole.
Fuck!
Oh, shit!
Hello?
I just need to use your phone.
Can somebody help me, I just need,
I just need to use the phone.
Hello?
Hello?
Is anyone in here?
Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Sara.
Jay?
Jay!
Trick 'r treat.
It's another
beautiful October day
here in Yost Town.
Halloween's right around
the corner, folks.
I'll be in Inebriate
City for the two for ones
and don't forget, the girls
with the sluttiest costumes
get in free and drink till they pass out.
I'm your man, DJ Dick,
"from 105.6 The Mix,"
putting hits all up in your mouth.
Have you ever killed anything?
What?
Like, when you were younger.
Every kill a bird, cat or anything?
I killed a pet fish
by overfeeding it once.
Have you ever just wanted
to just kill someone?
I don't know, maybe.
Hey, what's up with
you and Ricky anyway?
Did you fuck him yet?
Jesus, Mandy.
What?
Don't tell me you haven't fucked him yet.
Maybe.
Whatever, Melissa.
At least given a handy?
You're such a slut.
Oh wait, look.
There she is.
Who?
Old Aunt Ethel.
Why do they call her "Old Aunt Ethel?"
Because, like 20 years ago,
she killed her entire family in that house
and all the neighbors could
hear someone inside yelling,
"Stop, Aunt Ethel!
"Please, God, stop, Aunt Ethel!"
Hey!
Jesus, Mark.
You scared the shit out of me.
What're you scared of?
I haven't even pulled it out yet.
Ew.
Gross.
Guys!
I love this girl.
Oh.
Just telling Melissa, here,
the story of Old Aunt Ethel.
Oh yeah, it's almost Halloween, huh?
What does that mean?
So Old Aint Ethel,
every year on Halloween,
she lures the kids inside.
Says she has very special candy,
candy that's gonna make
all their wishes come true.
And when she gets them inside,
she slaughters them,
sawing off their limbs, one by one.
Yeah right.
No, it's true.
Then why isn't she in jail yet?
Because if you don't have a body,
you don't have a crime.
What does that mean?
They say that Old Aunt Ethel,
she turns all the kids' body
parts in Halloween treats,
leaving behind no remains at all.
That's one psychotic bitch.
You definitely don't wanna
go trick-or-treating at her place.
She'll turn you into pumpkin pie.
11, 12
13, 14,
15, 16, 17,
18, 19,
20.
11 more to go.
Hello.
Hey, girl, what you doin'?
You know, just "twerking
the fleek," right?
What?
I don't know.
You going to Mandy's party tonight?
I don't know yet.
I still have a lot of
studying and stuff to do.
Bitch, you better.
You on the rag or something?
What? No!
Mmmmm.
You got that heavy flow.
Girl, just double up.
Double up?
Yeah, girl, just stick
two super heavy flows
right up in that bitch
and you could party for
four hours straight.
No leakage.
Ha.
What, no, I'm not on my period.
I just don't know if I'm gonna go yet.
Girl, you gotta live a little.
This is not Ohio or
wherever the fuck you from.
We party hard out here, okay, hoe?
Okay.
Hey, do you know about all
that "Old Aunt Ethel" stuff?
Yeah, girl, everybody has
heard about Old Aunt Ethel.
I mean, is it true that
she takes all the kids
on Halloween night and stuff?
Bitch, you worry about
the wrong things, okay?
Get your shit together,
we partying hard tonight.
Okay, hoe.
Ah.
Let's see.
What do I need?
Bop!
Ah!
Ah, yes,
I need you.
Yeah!
Ah, I love that.
Woo.
Yee-haw!
Yee-haw!
Look at that.
Oh, I'm getting excited!
I'm getting excited!
Ricky!
Get the fuck out of here!
Oh!
Sorry.
And now!
Time for my famous pickled chocolates.
Mmmm, it already smells good.
Oh, the heel.
The heel and the balls.
The balls of the feet are the best.
Mmmm-mmmm, I can almost taste 'em.
I can almost taste 'em.
I love it.
Everybody loves them.
I'll eat 'em, that's for damn sure.
Yes, sir.
Perfect.
Perfect.
All right, now, let's
get these in the oven.
Ah, yes.
Of course.
With this soul, another day will come.
100!
Yeah, bitches!
Aren't you with Melissa?
What?
No, I ditched that bitch.
No fucking way.
Hey, what's up, bitch?
Are you seeing this?
Ew, what a dick.
Just come on, fuck him.
Melissa, wait!
I just can't believe
he would do this to me.
Fuck him, Melissa.
Who cares?
I care!
Well, what did you expect?
What does that mean?
You haven't even given him a handy.
Great, thanks.
Nice pep talk.
Melissa, can we please talk?
She doesn't want to talk to you, Ricky.
Melissa, please, just
give me a chance to explain.
Come on.
There's nothing to explain.
I can handle this.
Fine, go ahead, I was
just trying to help.
I really don't care about
what you have to say, Ricky.
It's all bullshit anyways.
Just leave me alone.
Yeah, fuck off, Ricky.
Leave me alone, Ricky.
It's me, Mark.
Well, is Ricky there with you?
No, he left, like, a long time ago.
Are you kidding me?
Whatever, fuck him.
Let's party.
Dr. Dick in the house.
I think I wanna go home.
Come on, Mel.
I'm really not in the mood to party.
Come on, don't let him get in the way
of you living your life, Melissa.
It's not just him.
I was up late last night
studying, I'm tired.
I'm just gonna go.
I'll walk with you.
Fuck, seriously?
You don't have to do
that, Mandy, I'm fine.
She's fine, babe.
Mark, shut up.
This is girl code.
You don't fucking get it.
You're right, I don't fucking get it.
And don't make me pull
a "Ricky" on you too.
Really, Mark?
Too soon?
Fuck you.
Eh.
I'll tell you what, Mark.
You go ahead and pull a "Ricky" on me
but you better make it worth your while
because it'll be the last time
you stick that little pee-pee
in a vagina ever again, got it?
Got it.
Now you're gonna get it.
Seriously?
Jesus.
You need to get over
him, ASAP, seriously.
I wasn't gonna say anything
but I fucked him last year
and he was, like, the
quickest cummer ever.
It was pitiful.
Mandy, are you serious?
What? It was last year
before you guys even met.
And you weren't gonna tell me?
I did just tell you.
Jesus, Mandy.
Whatevs.
My point is you need to get over him.
He's a waste of time.
Seems like everything's
a waste of time nowadays.
Oh, look.
There's Aunt Ethel.
Come on, let's go look.
No.
Come on.
Seriously?
Well, wait up.
She looks like a regular old
lady baking a cake to me.
It may seem that way
but I assure you it's not.
She's probably boiling
someone's skull right now.
Oh, come on.
Yes, sir.
This is ridiculous.
Why are we creeping
around some poor old lady?
Poor old lady?
Yeah right.
I'm going home.
This is stupid.
Mmmm-mmmm.
Yes, sir.
Mmmmmm.
Oh,
it's delicious.
Mmmmm.
Put that back in there.
Yes, sir.
Shit.
Hey!
What're you doing there?
You trick-or-treating?
Trick-or-treat.
Well, Halloween ain't for a couple days.
You're early.
I'm really bad about time, I'm so sorry.
- No.
- I'll just be going now.
You're in luck because
I never turn away company.
And I make the best pickled
Halloween treats in town.
They're chocolate and they're delicious.
Come on in.
I really should be going.
Oh, no, no, no, not yet.
Not yet, dear.
I've got some delicious treats inside.
Come on in.
- Come on, come on in.
- I should be going.
Come on.
I really don't wanna ruin
my appetite, like you said.
Halloween's a couple days away, right?
You gonna come
back to see me on Halloween?
Yeah.
You better, young lady.
Cause everyone loves
Aunt Ethel's
pickled chocolates.
They're homemade.
Mom, is that you?
Jesus, Ricky, what're you doing here?!
What?!
The front door was open.
I called for you but you didn't answer.
How long have you been here?
I just walked in.
Don't worry, I didn't see anything.
Get out!
I just wanna talk.
Leave!
Before I call the cops!
Are you serious?
Get out!
Okay.
Okay.
You know, you're making
a big fucking mistake.
Jeez.
Okay, just wait here.
Don't move.
Don't move.
Shit!
I'll be right back.
No cheating.
Just wait right there.
Hello.
Hi, this is Mortimer J. Jackson.
Who?
Mortimer J. Jackson.
I'm with...
Who now?
Mortimer J. Jackson.
What?
- I'm with...
- What? What?
I'm with
Vacation Surplus, ma'am.
What do you want?
Ma'am, I
was just calling today
to ask you if you were curious about
ever wanting to take a vacation.
Ma'am, have you thought about...
No!
Ma'am, have you thought...
No!
I don't have any, I don't want any either.
Hello, ma'am?
Hey, what's up, bitch?
Hey, what're you up to?
Nothing.
You'll never guess what Ricky just did.
Did you catch him jacking
off outside your window?
What? No.
Why?
I never told you that?
Told me what?
He jacks off outside
my window sometimes.
But he does it to like everybody.
Jesus, Mandy, why did you
set me up with this creep?
I didn't want to be
the only one with crabs.
What?!
What?
Nothing, you're fine, just keep going.
What are you doing?
Nothing, wanna come over?
Yeah.
Oh, remind me,
I have something to tell
you when I get there.
You cheated.
You cheated!
I had six!
I know damn well I had six!
You cheater!
Well I'll be damned.
I do have six.
Hey, Mrs.
Cooper, is Mandy home?
Hey.
Sara, right?
Melissa, actually.
Oh, right, Melissa.
I guess you just have one
of those forgettable faces.
Oh, okay.
Is Mandy home?
Yeah.
The bitch is in her room.
So, where you guys going tonight?
Oh, I'm not sure.
Well, I can hang out
with you guys tonight
if you wanted me to.
You know what the new in thing
is these days, don't you?
What's that?
MILFs.
These young guys, they love us MILFs.
Mom's I'd Like to...
No, I got it, I got it.
I know what a MILF is.
And I could even hook you guys up.
Like when a guy hits on
me and I don't like him,
then I could let you have him.
Gee, thanks.
Okay, well just let me know.
Right.
Come in.
Jesus, you guys.
It's all good, just come in.
No, I'll wait.
Babe.
I was just about to cum.
Well now you're just about to leave.
So it's like that?
It's like that.
Look, guys, I can go.
No.
He's leaving.
This is bullshit, Mandy.
No, this is girl code, bitch.
Raised on the streets, son.
Don't get clapped up.
You know what, fuck you.
What was that?
I said, fuck you.
Prove it.
Just get out.
You are one crazy bitch.
So, what did you have to tell me?
Oh, right.
Okay, so last night I couldn't sleep,
so I ended up going on this walk.
It was like 2AM or something
and I ended up going past
Old Aunt Ethel's house
and I went up and looked in
her window and she caught me.
See saw you?
Yeah, she asked if I was
like trick-or-treating or something.
Are you kidding me?
Uh uh, and then she asked if I wanted
any of her pickled chocolates.
You didn't eat any, did you?
No.
Why?
Because those are
chocolate-covered body parts.
Oh, yeah right.
I'm serious, everyone knows
about her picked chocolates.
What are you looking for?
My fucking weed.
I bet my mom took it again.
Mom, did you take my fucking weed again?!
Fucking bitch!
For the last time, Mandy,
I did not take your weed!
Yes you did, you stole my fucking weed!
Fucking bitch!
I hate that bitch!
Hello.
Hi.
Hi.
What are you doing?
I just got to Joe's house.
Will you come back here first?
You just told me to leave, Mandy.
I know but I need you back.
Yeah, what do you want?
What makes you think I want something?
You don't want anything?
Okay, yes.
See, I fucking told you.
Will you go to Breed's and
get some weed for me, please?
Come on, Mandy, you know I
don't like going over there.
He's fucking crazy.
Were you followed?
No, man.
Did you circle the block
to make sure them boys didn't follow you?
Yeah, yeah dude.
Come on, motherfucker.
All right, motherfucker,
you know the drill.
Hands up.
You got anything on you?
No, no, I jut want some weed, man.
What'd you say, motherfucker?
I just wondered...
I know what you said but
why you saying it like that?
You got a wire?
No, I'm so sorry, dude!
Is this thing real?
Please don't kill me, please!
I haven't had sex without a condom yet!
And see if he has any
more of that White Tahoe.
Fine.
♪ Hey, yah, yah, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
I love you.
Hello?
Wanna hit?
You sure?
It's that White Tahoe.
♪ Hey, yah, yah, hey, yah, yah ♪
♪ Oooooooooooh ♪
Hey, you know?
I'm sorry about earlier.
What's your name anyway?
Katie.
That's it.
Katie.
No!
Rachel.
Yeah.
You look like a Rachel,
that's who you are.
Rachel.
Hey, did you guys hear about Rachel?
No, what?
She went missing.
No way.
Yeah, she's been missing
for like three days.
What happened to her?
She went missing.
No, like,
like what do you think happened to her?
This stupid bitch.
I bet Aunt Ethel got her.
Why?
It's like, throughout
the whole month of October,
people disappear.
And sometimes you can
smell the bodies burning.
What do you mean?
So they say Aunt Ethel,
the body parts that she doesn't
turn into Halloween treats,
she burns in a big pile behind her barn.
You're totally fucking with me.
No, it's true.
Did you tell her our plan yet?
No, okay, so listen.
Tomorrow night is Halloween, right?
So we're gonna have a stakeout
at Aunt Ethel's house.
Why would you want to
cook steak at Aunt Ethel's?
No, a stakeout isn't when
you cook steak with someone,
you fucking idiot!
It's when you watch somebody,
like some investigative shit.
Why would you wanna do that?
We are doing that.
Why would I wanna do that?
Because, don't you wanna see
what she really does with those kids?
I'm sure she doesn't
do anything with them.
Yeah she does.
I heard that she scoops your
eyeballs out of your skull
with a spoon and then she eats them.
Oh, whatever.
Well,
Rach,
I think it's time we head out to the barn.
You just about warn out your welcome.
Now hold still, it won't hurt a bit.
Come on, oh!
Shit!
Damn!
Son of a bitch!
Come on, you slippery socket!
Gosh!
Piss!
Damn!
Bloody whore.
Oh, damn it.
Shit.
Ah.
Woo, baby.
What a beauty.
Oh, I can't wait to have you pickled.
Mmmmm, you're already good.
You're being ridiculous.
So come with us and let's find out.
Unless you're too scared.
I'm not scared of a little old lady.
You should be.
Jesus!
It's just my mom.
What are you doing in here?
Are you smoking weed in here, Mandy?
No, Mom, get out!
Oh, come on, let me get a little hit.
Get the fuck out of my room, Mom!
Whatever.
Oh,
hi Mark.
Hi, Miss Cooper.
Have you been working out?
A little bit.
Mmmmmm.
I can tell.
Gross, Mom, that's so weird.
Get out of here!
Don't be jealous, Mandy,
it's not attractive.
Trust me, I'm not jealous.
You're just gross.
You are jealous because I'm a MILF.
You're so not a MILF, Mom.
I am a MILF, Mandy!
I wish I never had you!
God, what a bitch.
I don't know, I
think she's pretty cool.
Oh, fuck you, Mark.
Hey!
What're you doing, you
dirty little pervert!
Oh, shit!
Run, rabbit, run!
Gotcha, little rabbit.
So,
here you are.
Where do I start?
Ah, yes.
You won't be needing this anymore.
Seven more.
That girl just pushed
me, can I choke her out?
What? No.
Just got tell her it wasn't very nice
and I won't play with her anymore.
Hello.
Hello, Melissa,
this is Ricky's mom.
Oh, hi.
Have you seen Ricky lately?
No, I haven't seen him in a couple days.
Well, he didn't
come home last night
and we're getting worried.
I'm sure he'll show up.
Please let
me know if you see him.
I will.
Hello?
Happy Halloween, bitch.
You ready for our stakeout tonight?
Hey, so Ricky's mom just called me
and she hasn't seen him for a couple days.
Have you?
No, matter of fact,
he didn't even jack-off
outside my window last night.
What?
Hold on, Gio.
I'm sure he's fine.
Well, if you see him, let him
know that his mom's worried.
Hey, so what're you doing today?
You wanna go shopping?
I can't, I'm at the park right now
babysitting my little nephew.
Hold on, Gio!
Okay, well call me
when you get home then.
Okay, I will, bye.
Jesus, Gio!
When I'm on the phone,
don't bother me like that.
What's up?
I chocked her out.
Oh, shit, come on.
Six more.
Six more, six more.
All right.
I think I got everything we need.
We got handcuffs,
rope,
zip ties.
We got the gun
and an apple.
What's the apple for?
I don't know, it was already there.
Oh, right, that's my apple.
Who is it?
Melissa.
Oh shit, put this stuff away, quick.
What, you didn't tell her?
No, now shut up and put it away.
What?
- Hey.
- Hi.
What's up?
What's up with you guys?
Nothing.
Yeah, nothing.
You guys are weird.
Now what?
We wait.
Wait for what?
We wait for her to take
a couple of kids inside
and then we see what she
really does with them.
And what if she doesn't?
Oh, she will.
She will.
Mandy, you've been really quiet.
You okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Okay, this is boring.
Could we play some music or something?
No!
Fuck!
There aren't even any
trick-or-treaters out.
That's because most people know
about Old Aunt Ethel, okay?
Kids don't come around
this block very often
but there's always that one.
And there he is.
Trick 'r treat.
Well, hello there.
Okay, here we go.
See?
I told you!
I fucking told you!
He could come back out.
Oh no, they never come back out.
He's been in there
for like 10 minutes now.
Look.
Look, another kid.
Trick or treat.
Well look at you.
Don't you look delicious.
I mean, scary.
Are you a little witch?
Yeah.
I just love witches.
Do you know any magic spells?
No.
Well guess what,
I know a real magic spell.
Do you wanna see it?
Yeah.
Come inside and I'll show you.
And there's another
one that's not going home
to Mommy and Daddy tonight.
Okay.
Let's do this.
Do what?
Listen, I didn't tell you
everything about tonight
but now you see why we have to do this.
Do what?
Mandy, what are you talking about?
We're going to kill Old Aunt Ethel.
I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.
Calm down, Mark.
You guys are crazy, you can't kill her.
Why?
She's killing poor,
innocent children, Melissa.
How can you let that happen?
We have to call the police.
Those kids will be fucking dead
before those cops ever get
here with a search warrant.
I'm gonna blow her fucking head off.
I can't do this, I
can't fucking kill her.
Look, there's a kid at the door.
Trick or treat.
That's my nephew, Gio!
Gio!
You can't go running up
there, screaming like that.
You'll never see him again.
Let go of me.
Listen to me.
Look at me, you dumb bitch!
There's a right way to do this, okay?
We're gonna save your nephew, I promise,
but not like this.
I need you to calm down and trust me.
So, look at "Miss
Toughy Pants" now, huh?
Just a second ago you didn't
want anything to do with this.
Now look at you.
It's different, Mandy,
she has my nephew.
It's always someone's
nephew, someone's brother.
Someone's sister.
It's funny how everything changes
when it's your own family, isn't it?
Well, I know exactly
how it feels, Melissa.
Aunt Ethel took a sister from me.
She took my brother from me.
Guys, I didn't know.
I'm so sorry.
You ready to kill this fucking bitch?
I'm ready to kill this bitch.
Let's kill this bitch.
Gio.
You can't cause a seen
by letting him see you.
If he starts screaming and yelling,
Aunt Ethel's gonna come out here
and we're gonna lose
out chance to end this
once and for all.
We're going to save him,
okay?
Come on.
All right, all you have to do
is wait for me to get inside.
Okay?
Then you're gonna knock on the front door
and distract Aunt Ethel.
She's gonna think it's trick-or-treaters.
When she opens the door,
bang,
I blow her fucking head off.
You guys okay?
Hey.
I got this.
Just trust me.
I love you.
What are you girls doing there?!
Nothing.
Hey,
you're that girl from the other night.
And you brought a friend with you?
Yeah.
Trick-or-treat.
Well,
I'm so glad you came back.
I have some delicious treats inside.
Come with me.
Mmmm.
Sit.
Sit.
So,
where are your costumes?
I'm dressed as her
and she's dressed as me.
Yeah.
We were trying to be funny.
Not impressed.
Mmmmm.
Mmmmm-mmmmm.
Care for some of my famous
homemade pickled chocolates?
No, thank you.
We've already eaten so much candy tonight.
Well don't look disgusted.
They're delicious.
Mmmmm.
Hey!
Hey!
Oh my God.
Dude, we're fucked.
I can never get enough of 'em.
Oh man.
Mmmmm, mmmmmm, mmmm, mmmmm.
Hey!
Hey, what the fuck?!
I can never get enough of 'em.
They are so good.
I make 'em myself, you know.
Homemade.
Can I use your bathroom, please?
Yeah.
Sure, it's in the back, there.
Come with me, Melissa.
I'm gonna go
with her, if that's okay?
Mmhmmm.
What are we gonna do?
I don't know, I don't know.
Let's just climb out this window.
No, we can't leave without Gio.
Right, okay.
Think, think, think.
Look for anything we can use as a weapon.
Okay.
Did you find anything yet?
Not unless we can use a
toothbrush or a toilet brush.
You girls all right in there?
Yeah, we'll be right out.
Well, you
have some company here.
Company?
Yes, your friend is here to see you.
Okay, okay!
Sit, sit, sit.
He wants it to be a surprise.
Yes, he wants it to be a surprise!
Stay right there and I'll be right back.
Look who's here to save you.
Isn't that sweet?
Awwwww.
"Hey,
"look at me.
"I'm the coolest kid in school
"and I'm here to save you."
He's here to save you.
Mark?
Oh, right.
So, listen,
I slit this throat.
He's only got about 15 seconds to live.
So, little girls, you got
anything you wanna say?
Mark, I'm so sorry.
You know what?
Yep.
I was wrong.
He's dead.
He didn't hear a word you said.
Fucking bitch!
You're fucking dead!
No so fast, sunshine.
Does this look familiar?
Your little friend here
said I could have it.
I've never had a gun before.
I can't wait to try it out.
You having fun, buddy?
Yeah.
Hey, let's check out the next house.
Hey, hey!
Calm the hell down, buttercup,
unless you want me to
lay you down beside her.
Is that what you want?
No, no.
Well then get a hold of yourself.
Get up.
Come on, get over here.
Get up and get your ass over here.
Push your little friend
here out of the chair
and sit down in it.
What?
Oh, is this too hard?
Push him out of the
chair and sit down in it.
Oh.
Would you put some muscle into it?
Oh, for Lord's sakes, let me.
Now, was that too hard?
Now sit down!
What are you going to do?
Little poor baby.
Listen, don't take it too personal.
You're taking it too hard.
Please don't do this.
"Please don't.
"Please don't."
There is good news.
I need to deliver 31 souls.
You get to end it
because you're number 31.
What do you mean?
Do you believe in witches?
No.
How about curses and evil spells?
No.
Well you should.
On this very day, 40 years ago,
a witch put a curse on me.
I need to deliver 31 souls
for every day that dead walk.
And you, little bunny,
make 31.
If I make 31, then Gio's 32.
You don't have to kill Gio.
Who?
There's a little boy in your barn.
His name is Gio and he's my nephew.
If I'm 31 then he's 32 and
you don't have to kill him.
Please, just take me and let him go.
Yeah, sure.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
How will I know you'll
let him go if I'm dead?
You'll just have to trust me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Jesus Christ, just wait a second!
Oh, come on!
I'm dying to use this thing again.
Please, there must be another way.
Trick or treat.
Okay, it's done.
There's your 31st soul.
Can we go home now, please?
I forgot to mention one little thing.
What?
What, are you going to let us go?
Oh, you can go.
Then why are you laughing?
The only way my curse
could ever be broken
is if someone else offered
to take the 31st soul for me.
What?
You
took the 31st soul for the dead.
What does that mean?
Well that means that you
are the cursed one now.
No.
No.
Aaah!
In 31 hours
or less,
you will receive a message.
It will tell you everything
you need to know.
Oh my God, it was just a dream.
Jesus Christ.
No.
No.
No!
♪ Shit ♪
♪ Listen ♪
♪ This ain't no bullshit ♪
♪ The gangsta say ♪
♪ This ain't no game, bitch ♪
♪ Real gangsta shit ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel, for real ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel, gangsta, on the scene ♪
♪ Don't fuck around ♪
♪ She is a crazy bitch, yo ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ She's a gangsta from the streets ♪
♪ She will fuck around and make
you into Halloween treats ♪
♪ She's a killa ♪
♪ From the hood ♪
♪ She's just an old lady but
she'll kill you if she could ♪
♪ It's the A to the U to the N to the T ♪
♪ To the E to the T to the H to the E ♪
♪ To the motherfucking
L, cursed by a spell ♪
♪ The witch's is life is a fucking hell ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ Keep track of your kids and
tell them that what you did ♪
♪ Stay away from Aunt Ethel
if you want them to live ♪
♪ She likes to pickle your feet ♪
♪ She likes to pickle your eyes ♪
♪ She likes to cook the
kids up into pumpkin pie ♪
♪ She's a crazy bitch
who don't give a shit ♪
♪ She chopped off Ricky's dick ♪
♪ It's a dirty game,
it's a goddamn shame ♪
♪ Everybody watch out and learn the name ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ Haven't you heard,
Aunt Ethel got to earn ♪
♪ She got fire fueled
bodies, watch them burn ♪
♪ She's gotta put in work,
she's gotta do the dirt ♪
♪ She got get it done before the 31st ♪
♪ You better watch your back, bitch ♪
♪ She got to get, bitch ♪
♪ Slow it down ♪
♪ She's gonna ratatat-tat bitch ♪
♪ You better listen
because it's like that ♪
♪ She will fuck you up and turn
you into Halloween snacks ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel, dog ♪
Melissa, wait!
All right, is that a cut?
Mom, did you take my fucking weed...
Sorry.
Got it.
Cool?
Very cool, man.
Hey!
What're you girls doing there?!
Nothing.
Hey.
It just went right in her mouth.
Ew.
I watch it go right.
What went in her mouth?
A bug just went.
I watched her spit it out.
She just went, phew.
All right, now listen up, motherfuckers.
Ya know what I mean?
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
What's up?
Get it together.
Close the door.
Holy shit, that's gonna
be so fucking funny.
So where are you looking at, that light?
I'm looking at Austin's nipples.
I'm serious.
Yeah.
No, I'm serious.
That's like where I'm looking,
is right, ironically,
where his nipples are.
Okay, nipples, got it.
Right, so from Joe's
nipples to Austin's nipples.
That's my nephew, Gio!
Gio!
It's looked.
And action.
Come in.
Oh, nevermind.
What?
Come on.
Jesus, you guys.
I'm sorry.
And
action.
Ugh.
You're not gonna say your line?
I can't even.
Okay.
Subtitles by explosiveskull
♪ Hey, yo ♪
♪ It's the Uzi you, we pickle then chew ♪
♪ She'll have your ass over
than a Lifetime movie ♪
♪ Can't movie, bitch,
can't be choosy, bitch ♪
♪ Ain't nothing but a
witch just doing shit ♪
♪ It's the psycho crazy, psycho lady ♪
♪ Your crazy bitch that
will pickle your baby ♪
♪ She'll say so ♪
♪ Ain't nothing, your
bitch is gonna do nothing ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ In the hood ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ See no evil, hear no evil ♪
♪ Aunt Ethel's sitting
around pickling people ♪
♪ She's a lunatic ♪
♪ And you knew this shit ♪
♪ Real witches don't fly
around on broom sticks ♪
♪ She's a killer, a gangsta ♪
♪ She'll prisoner your shanker ♪
♪ Everybody knocking at
the door is in danger ♪
♪ So, listen closely ♪
♪ You hear the words ♪
♪ Or you'll be the one
with the bitch's curse ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel on the scene ♪
♪ Better watch your back because
it's time for Halloween ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ It's Aunt Ethel ♪