Half a Loaf of Kung Fu (1978) - full transcript

STARRING: KIM JEONG-NAN,
KAM KONG, LEE HAE-RYONG

STARRING: MA JU-LUNG,
MIAO TIAN, LIN CHAO-HSIUNG,

DEAN SHEK, JULIE LEE, LEE MAN-TAI

CO-STARRING: KAO CHIANG,
GAM SAI-YUK, CHIANG CHI-PING,

CHUI YUEN, WU TE-SHAN, HO KANG,
YU BONG, LI MIN-LANG

CREDITS DESIGNER: CHEN LAO-SAN

PLANNING: LUl SAM-MIN
PRODUCTION MANAGER: LEE SIU-CHEUNG.

SCREENWRITER: TANG MING-CHI

CINEMATOGRAPHER: CHRIS CHEN
FOCUS PULLERS: SU DENG-YAN, CHEN WEI-AN

LIGHTING: CHOI SAM-KAT

STILLS: CHIU HSIAO-HSING
MAKEUP: CHEUNG SOK-CHU



HAIR: SAM BIU-HOI
COSTUME: LI YAN-HONG

UNIT MANAGER: LEE CHING-FOO
RUNNER: HAU YIN-TAK

PROPS: WOO LIM-PEK
SCRIPT SUPERVISOR: LU SHUN-KENG

ART DIRECTOR: CHOW CHI-LEUNG

ASSISTANT DIRECTORS:
SAM YUE-LEUNG, MA TAI-SUNG

MUSIC: FRANKIE CHAN
EDITOR: VINCENT LEUNG

DUBBING: WONG PING
FOLEY: ZHOU CHIN

WOODEN DUMMY

HITTING THE MINI WOODEN DUMMY

You've gotta be kidding!

NOW HIRING

Come over and look.

They're hiring a bodyguard!

You need to know kung fu though!



You know kung fu! Go for it!

I would apply even if I don't!

- Are you sure?
- Why not?

- Make way.
- Hey!

- Can you do that?
- You can't do that!

- Hey, you need to know kung fu!
- Out of the way.

YAN WU CENTRE

FU WAI MANSION

Hey, hey! What are you doing?

What are you doing?

I'm applying for the job!

- You dare try to hit me?!
- Why did you come here?

Why did you come here?

- I'm here to be the bodyguard!
- Do you even know what they do?

Do you even know what a bodyguard does?

What do they do?

You see? A bodyguard keeps the yard clean
and sweeps the floor!

You're killing me!

Don't you know who I am?!

Do you know who [ am?

I'm here to be the bodyguard!

Are you sure you qualify?

Can you do that?

Trivial.

You've gotta straighten it first.
Then I'll show you!

Al right.

King Kong, he ran away!

Running away?!

Let's see where you run to!

Don't run!

Don't come over!

Try to run away?

I'll knock you down!

Damn you!

Have an egg!

Eat it!

Have some more!

How about some chicken?

Damn you!

NOW HIRING: KUNG FU INSTRUCTORS, HANDYMEN

HUNG HEI

Hold it!

What do you want?

- NOW HIRING: KUNG FU INSTRUCTORS.
- What?!

- HANDYMEN.
- This side.

What's the problem?

Manager Wan. He's here
to apply for the handyman job.

Yeah.

I"m unfamiliar with
this brother's name...

Gong... Tou!

So your name is Gong.

Yeah.

Work hard here and I'll take care of you.

- Lao San.
- Yes.

- Take him to his room.
- Yes.

Come with me.

- How dare you!
- Yeah!

- What's up with you?
- What's there to see?

Yeah...!

Can't bear it?

My legs buckled.

Pal, your room is just over there.

Manager Wan has specially ordered

that no one should harass the guests
in that room.

Brother Lao San! So who lives in there?

There's... a witch living in there.

Go quickly!

Right. You stay here.

- Just look for me if anything comes up.
- Okay.

The last room is the kitchen.

If you're hungry,
go over and help yourself.

Sure! Thanks!

Now take a rest.

- That's your bed.
- Thanks.

Thank you very much!

We should've bet for that instead!

I know, right?

Hey, hey!

What's up with you?!

You arseholes!
Let me teach you a lesson!

What?! Kick his arse!

Damn you!

Damn kid, die!

Missed!

- Oh no, I need to shit!
- You need to shit?

- Yeah, I need to shit!
- Is that right?

Go shit yourself!

Damn you!

Look at him!

What is it?

What the hell?!

Right!

Get him!

I fly to the East and the West.

Don't let him fly away!

I'll hit you!

Who's coming up?

Nice nose!

Missed!

Lift your foot!

For you!

And you!

Outrageous!

Who took my chicken drumsticks
and steamed buns?

They were there a moment ago!

Damn kid, so it was you?

I'm outta here!

- After him!
- Right! Hurry!

Don't run! Stop!

Your subordinate pays respect
to the leader.

Manager Wan, surely you're aware that
my 'Five Poisons Stance' cannot be seen?

Your subordinate is guilty
and deserves to die.

- I ask for mercy from the leader.
- A report!

Manager Wan, the person has slipped out!

Do you know this man's background?

Your subordinate tested this man.

He doesn't look like a martial artist
or a Taoist character.

I'm glad he's not one of us,

but you must still be careful in future.

Other opponents are competing

for the Longevity Jade
and the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving pill.

Any news from Third Brother?

There is.
I received a report three days ago.

Fong Wei, the chief of Shenzhou Escort,
is personally escorting it.

Strictly guarded along the way,
there seems to be a powerful enemy coming.

And robbery is a constant concern.

Therefore, Fong Wei and his team
are only taking the main route.

They should arrive there at Feng County
in three days.

Fine.

You and I will be on the road tomorrow,
rushing to Feng County to meet him.

Lest other figures on the road
get there first.

Your subordinate understands.

I've gotta find something to eat!

Hero Lau, please spare my life!

I, Si Tai-Chong, have never crossed paths
with Hero Lau.

Why hunt and kill me?

Shut up!

Si Tai-Chong,
you and I don't know each other,

but you've been murdering women
in Sanxiang for many years.

The day that I, Lau Yu-Lung,
encountered you

is also the day your evil ceases!

You deserve it!

Die!

You...!

Want to get away?

Hero Lau!

Hero Lau!

Five hundred taels?!

I'm gonna be rich!

HONEST AND FAIR

- For me?
- Please check it. Yes.

This is for you.

You're too kind!

- I feel embarrassed.
- Don't be! It's only fair and square.

- Fair and square?
- Yeah!

Just take that.

Thank you.

This thief had been hunted in the county
for a long time and evaded arrest.

He lost today at the hands of a hero.

Commendable.

For this magistrate, this is a very

joyful event!

You flatter me.

I's all thanks to your monetary power.

You're too kind, hero!

However... I don't think I know
your name yet?

Me?

I—...

My Lord.

So you're the world-famous
'Whip Hero' Lau Yu-Lung!

You flatter me!

My Lord, if there's nothing else,
I'll take my leave.

If you please.

Thank you, My Lord.

Thank you, My Lord.

Welcome!

Welcome, Hero Lau!

My... my name is Ga Chung.

Me... Me...

This... this fellow is the most

respectable man in this county,
Master Cheng.

Master Cheng would like... to invite...

Let me tell him.

All three of us
are the most respectable around here.

We would like to invite you
to Chun Fung Villa...

That's right!

- He would like to take you there...
- For a drink?

Yes! For... For a drink!

All right. And for a meal too, I reckon?

If you please.

Be careful!

If you please.

What a rascal,
daring to take the name of the Whip Hero.

This beggar will watch
what tricks you come up with.

STEAMED BUNS

Must answer nature's call.

What are you looking at?

The hero, isn't it?

Sure looks like it.

What's it to you?

Nothing.

That's good, then! I'm warning you.

I used to hang around with those folks
of the martial world

and learnt a lot of things.

Then can you show me your skills?

Watch out, kiddo.

Don't blink!

Here!

Well?

A good man with great style.

However, I don't know
if there were any real hits.

Also, is there anything in this pocket...?

You kidding? Think I'm a fake?

For real?

- Here. That's everything.
- Thanks!

- What are you doing?!
- Sorry!

Up you get.

What was the meaning of that?

I got itchy after a while,
so I showed my skKills.

Hey, what was your trick just now?

Let me tell you. You can't tell anyone.

Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow.

- Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow?
- Yeah!

- Does it work?
- Of course it works!

Here, let me show you.

You can protect the top,
you can't protect the bottom;

It's hard to defend.

Hard to defend? Yeah!

- Hard to defend!
- Thanks.

Remember it!

Hard to defend?

Pal, come in and take a seat!
Over here!

Isn't it that rascal Gong?

- Get him!
- Right!

- Hey, are you blind?!
- It's your lucky day!

- Chase him!
- Right!

Don't run!

Manager Wan, what do you want?

I've been looking for you.

I get it, you want money?

Have it all!

Rascal, it's only been three days
and I have a newfound respect for you.

This gentleman accepts
the filial respect given.

But you still have to see our leader.

Is it that weird woman?

That's right,
but your life is at her mercy.

Who does she think she is
to decide whether I live or die?

- Hit me?!
- Come on!

Right.

Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow.

Come again if you have the guts.

Outrageous!

You hit me? I'll take your life!

Don't come over! I won't be nice!

Come on!

Don't come over,
or I really won't be nice!

Dead?

What do you want?!

Don't get in my way!

If not, I'll send you to join him!

Such a big mouth.

How dare you kill a member
of my Five Poisons school!

I won't spare youl!

Trying to scare me?
I'm long used to being scared.

Don't you dare!

How...

What other magic weapons do you have?
Show me.

Other ones?

Imperial Consort's Shooting Arrow!

Why's it not working? Here!

Elder, save me quick!

Beggar, it's none of your business.
Get the hell out of here!

It is my business, I can't!

Where else can you go?

You can't run this time!

Missed!

Thank you, Elder.

So a beggar like me is an elder now?

I'll be called an elder master next!

Elder, you hide your true identity well.
I, Gong Tou, am very impressed.

When did the Whip Hero change his name?

How come I didn't know about it?

Why don't we throw away
this harmful thing?

Someone's there!

Don't run! Hey!

Don't run!

Where are you running to?
I'll let you try my magic whip!

El...

Hey, Elder!

Elder!

Elder!

Hey, Elder!

Elder!

Elder!

Why are you following me?

Elder, I want you to be my master.

Absurd!

How could the hero of the Magic Whip
kneel down and beg me?

I've lost all the respect I had for you!

Look at you!

I think you should be a Blunder Hero!

I don't want to be a hero anymore.
I'd rather be an apprentice of Elder.

I won't accept
such an unpromising apprentice!

I'm sure I saw him heading this way.

Damn beggar!
Who do you think you are?

Up yours!

I don't want to learn kung fu from you!

Did you hear me?!

If you have the guts, come out!

I don't need to learn kung fu from you!

Damn beggar, what's so great about you?!

I have silver!

I don't believe that I'll not find
a better master than you!

How dare you act snobbish
in front of me!

Your kung fu... is shit!

What's so great about it?!

There are many people in the world
who know kung fu!

I'm mad now. I don't want to learn
your kung fu anymore.

You don't have to hide from me anymore.
I'm off!

I'm off!

Hold it!

Elder...

No, no! Master!

Master.

I dare not be a master.

You want an old beggar
with third-rate kung fu to be your master?

Master.

I deserve a slapping.

Your apprentice was just joking.
Please forgive me, Master.

Say no more!

This beggar wasn't seeking an apprentice,
I was looking for Lau Yu-Lung.

Who'd have thought I'd have
bumped into an imposter?

Master, you know everything?

I even know when you piss and shit!

I know everything.

'A great man should not be ashamed
to look into the sky.'

The most contemptible thing
in this beggar's life

is an apprentice who pilfers and fools
the world by usurping a good name.

Get up!

Have you ever learnt kung fu?

I haven't.

Doesn't look like you have.

I have a condition.

What condition?

You do something for me first
and I will teach you kung fu.

Okay! I really want to be good.

Then it's a deal.

Here. This is a random token of mine.

Tomorrow at noon, you'll go to
the wasted stone house in Feng County.

There'll be someone named Fong Wei there.
He'll take care of you.

Remember,

you and I must not address ourselves
as master and apprentice afterwards.

Perchance, we'll meet again.

FONG

Guest! Please come inside!

Please come inside, guest.

If you please!

We'll rest here for a while.

Hey, we'll all just rest here!

- Waiter, prepare something for them.
- Right!

- Please come in.
- Okay.

Please.

- Guest, what would you like?
- Good wine and good food. Hurry!

Dad, setting out on a journey
isn't like being at home.

Don't drink so much.

How can a daughter try to control her dad?

Dad will look for a fierce housewife
to take care of you.

Big Brother Miu, look at that guy.
He's so annoying; Keeps staring at me.

Do you want your senior
to teach him a lesson?

Forget it, silly girl.
There's no malice in others.

Besides, you were born that beautiful,
so people will look.

Dad, you always make fun of me!

Tin-Sun,
have a little drink with me first.

- Dad...!
- This toast is for the arduous trip.

- Why should I drink three glasses?
- You lost! Why shouldn't you drink three?

- What if I don't drink?!
- Hey!

- Wanna fight?
- Yeah, so?

- Hey, you hit me?!
- I can hit you anytime!

Trying to steal something, right?

What proof do you have?!
Accuse me of being a thief?

Hey, get lost!

Hey, don't try to frame someone!

- Why did you hit me?!
- Don't fight.

This is all a misunderstanding.

Don't make a fuss
with the three people over there.

Let's have a drink!

- He said I was stealing!
- He shouldn't try to frame us!

Forget it, forget it all.

Come on, have another drink!

Drink, drink, drink wine!

Yes! It's all been a misunderstanding.
Don't be angry!

Thank you, hero, for coming to the rescue!

What's wrong with you?

No... Nothing.

Thank you!

Let's have a drink when you come back.

Al right.

- Hey, let's have a drink.
- Okay.

Here, cheers.

- Waiter! The bill!
- Coming!

- It's on me this time.
- Fine.

It's better that you pay.

Guest... that will be
nine coins and five cents.

Guest?

Is credit okay?

Credit? Not when you eat so many things!

If everyone asked for credit,
we'd go out of business!

It's just that I didn't bring
any money with me today.

- Didn't bring money?! Really!
- Gentlemen.

You deliberately came here to drink
and make trouble.

It doesn't matter.

It also doesn't matter if you can't pay,
but you must take off your clothes.

That's right!

Hey, he wants us to undress.

- You really want us to undress?
- Of course.

Undress.

Don't go!

- Innkeeper, they've got away!
- Outrageous!

- Waiter!
- Coming!

- Bill, please.
- Coming!

That'll be six coins and two cents.

Guest.

If you have no loose silver
or gold ingots,

our shop can change them for you.

We won't overcharge you.

Guest, what are you doing?

Me?

'All men are brothers.

After you spend all your money,
it will return.'

This little brother's tab will be paid for
by this little sister.

No need for the change!

Thanks!

Wait for me!

Leaving just like that?

Thank you, miss.

Leaving? I won"t see you out.

- Waiter! Bill, please.
- Coming!

Guest.

Silly girl, what the hell were you doing?

Dad, this is called 'giving someone
a dose of his own medicine'.

Miss Fong was something else. Admirable!

Your joke went too far.

Did you know who that was?

Who was he?

Although Dad doesn't know
how he is related to your uncle,

there must be a connection.

Dad, how do you know?

Dad saw your uncle's personal token
just now.

Tin-Sun, we'll be setting off soon.
You settle everything here.

We'll rest early
and leave tomorrow morning.

So stinky!

Long time no see, hero!

Your farts arrive before you do!

That's how I get people's attention.

Well? Did the tricks
I taught you last time work?

They're as bad as your farts!

Did they really not work?

Of course not.

Al right.

Okay. I'll teach you
two more tricks today.

No need! I don't have any money today.

It doesn't matter if you've got no money.

The last time you were very generous;
You paid for my wine,

so I'll teach you two moves today
for free!

Do these two moves really work?

Of course they work!

Here, watch!

Watch carefully.

What's this move called?

It's called
Securing the Country with One Finger.

Securing the Country with One Finger?

Here, come up.

You try.

- Securing the Country with One Finger?
- Yeah! Come on! Try it!

Leg!

Keep your waist straight, look ahead.

Hit me. Come on.

- Hit me.
- Hit you?

Hit me!

- What's this move called?
- The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron!

Securing the Country with One Finger.
The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron.

- Brother, talk about bad luck!
- Who would've known that old guy...

Motherfucker, it's you again!

So what? Want a fight?

Kid, you've got some guts.

You thief, give us back our money now!

What money? Mine's all gone too!

Still pretending, huh?

Come on.

- Pay us back our money, now!
- Pay you back?! What money?

Damn you!

Go to Hell!

Don't let him slip away. After him!

- Hey, come down!
- Come up.

- Come down!
- Come up!

Come down!

How about I meet you halfway?

Don't do anything stupid!
Aren't you scared of my magic whip?

Big Brother, I think he's scared of us.

Me, scared of you?!

Don't come over here!

Fine!

Let me show you two moves!

What moves?

Don't blink!

Seen this before?

Haven't seen it before.

You haven't?!

How pathetic!

Let me show you my new moves!

- And this move is...?
- Securing the Country with One Finger!

This move is called
Hitting the Nose with Two Fingers.

Motherfucker!

I've got another one!

- Show us all you've got!
- One Finger...

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron, my arse!
It's whipping time!

Watch me!

Try my whip!

Die!

After him!

Wanna get away? Get back down here!

'The river water
doesn't intrude the well water.'

Hero Fong, you better not interfere
and ruin our harmonious relationship.

'Everything matters
to a man of the world.'

I have had a chance encounter
with this little brother.

Fong Wei, others are afraid of you;
We're not!

That's right. We want to 'learn' from you!

Don't move!

Go!

Stop!

Catch!

Here are your purses back.

We will get you back for this!

Wait and see. Let's go!

- I'm Fong Wei. May I ask your name?
- I'm Gong Tao.

So you're the one I've been looking for.
I've been searching for a long time.

Sure enough, Hero Gong was the person
recommended by Uncle.

Do you know where he is now?

I don't know either. He just told me
to listen to you. He told me nothing else.

Fine.

Hero Gong, do you know
what my guard is secretly escorting?

I don't.

I's said that a 10,000-year-old jade
can cure thousands of poisons;

The Nine Loops Soul-Reviving pill
is the elixir of longevity.

These rare treasures certainly attract
the attention of martial figures.

No wonder Uncle seeks
Little Brother's help.

I didn't expect my daughter
to make a big joke out of you today.

There'll be many situations in future
in which we'll rely on you.

I hope this hero can help me.

Here's your purse back.

Of course, we're all friends.

From now on, Chief Fong's business
will be your little brother's business.

Hero Gong is such a straight talker.

Good. Let's go back to the inn
and discuss more.

Hero Gong, you should rest early;
We'll depart first thing tomorrow morning.

Chief Escort, please.

Who's there?!

Bitch! Why did you slap me?!

I want to ask you,
where did this whip come from?

My whip, eh?

I am the Whip Hero!

See this here?

This is my trademark.

What?

- You're 'Whip Hero' Lau Yu-Lung?
- At your service!

You slapped me again?!

Outrageous...

Talk now! Why are you impersonating
'Whip Hero' Lau Yu-Lung?

What impersonating?!
I am the one and only Whip Hero...

I must be seeing a ghost!

Tell me now!

- Did you kill the Whip Hero?
- None of your damn business!

- Who are you to him?
- He's my brother.

How could I kill him
with such bad kung fu?

- The killer was...
- Who was it?!

'Playboy General' Si Tai-Chong!

It was Si Tai-Chong?

I saw the two of them fighting
near South Gate Hill.

I saw them both with my own eyes!

At that time, they...

How do I know you're telling the truth?

I respect your brother Lau as a hero.

It was me who buried him.

I'm not lying to you!
If I am, then I'll die a horrible death!

I'm really not lying to you.

So that means my brother...

Miss, life and death, poor or rich...
it's all destined.

A man like your brother,
although dead, died with hon our.

Miss, you...

My brother came from a generation
of upright heroes.

I'm warning you.
Do not impersonate him ever again!

Hero!

Who"s that?!

Who is it?!

If you've got the guts, come out!

Come out!

- You saw it all?
- Just a little.

A little bit.

Outrageous! Let me tell you.

I don't bully women,
that"s why I let her go.

So you weren't afraid of her then?

Of course not!

I kill people as I slaughter a chicken.

Me, afraid of her?!

That's odd.

Didn't I hear you just say,

'I'm not lying to you!
If I am, then I'll die a horrible death!'?

Are you pulling my leg?!

I'll kick your arse!

Hero, your kung fu is terrible!

Come, let me teach you two more moves!

Forget it!

The two moves you taught me last time?
Securing the Country with One Finger

- and Overlord Lifts the Cauldron!
- Well?

I pointed for a long time,
but others didn't get it!

And I got my arse kicked
as soon as I made a move.

You're so stupid!

The genius of martial arts
lies in its use.

The moves themselves are lifeless.
Flexibility is the most important.

Learn more moves, but also practise more.

When confronting the enemy,
be calm and fight them accordingly.

Only then can we overcome the opponent.

Understand?

A little bit.

Good enough.

Show me those two moves now.

- Now?
- Yes, now!

- Watch out!
- Show me.

The Overlord Lifts the Cauldron!

See? I've got you now.

Securing the Country with One Finger.

- See?
- You've got something there.

Point!

That's what I meant by flexibility.
Got it?

Okay. I'll teach you two more moves.

Practise them well.

You owe me more money for wine now!

How was that?

Keep practising.

That's all for now!

Makes sense.
I can't be that stupid anymore.

Miss Fong, isn't it pretty here?

Pretty, my arse!

Rotten grass and stones everywhere,
what's so pretty about them?!

- You're so vulgar! Such profane words!
- Pardon me.

Talking to a man like him
is like 'playing a lute to a cow'!

'Playing the lute to a cow'?!

I'm not a cow, and you're not a lute.

You and I aren't that much different.
The big fool laughs at the little fool!

- Miss, what are you laughing at?
- I'm laughing at his strange metaphor.

You may not be aware.

The scenery here has always been ugly,

but it becomes beautiful
the moment you're here.

There are no flowers on this mountain,

but your smile is even more beautiful
than flowers.

There are no birds here,

but your voice sounds better
than that of a yellow bird!

That big fool is incapable
of appreciating it.

Acting like a snob and saying,
'Miss, isn't it pretty here?'

Are you for real?

Everyone, be careful.
Looks like it's an ambush.

Chief Escort,
there seems to be an ambush ahead.

Be careful!

Halt!

Where are you from, friends?

If you let us pass, I, Fong Wei,
promise you red packets later.

Leave us the treasure
and we'll let you pass!

What treasure are you talking about?

Who is your master?

Give the Longevity Jade
and the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving pill!

- Watch out!
- Otherwise...

Motherfucker!

'Hide the head and show the tail.'
How cowardly!

Who are you?!

I'll tell you!
I killed the 'Playboy General'!

If you've guts, settle the score with me!
I'm not scared of you!

That's good, then.

I'm about to avenge my apprentice.
Prepare to die!

Daddy's afraid you won't manage!

You killed a few of my men.
We now have a score to settle!

Enough crap! Let's start!

Dad!

Dad! Are you all right? Dad!

Miu Chun-Fa of the Five Poisons school?!

Miu Chun-Fa, you and I
have always been well-watered.

So, you want to take advantage
of the fire?!

Finders keepers.

The Longevity Jade has been
the bane of our school.

I'm determined to win today.

Miu Chun-Fa, understand this:

Fighting me... won't be enough.

Still trying to brag?

You're in hot water yourself.

Lie down obediently
and listen to this old lady's mercy.

We don't want to be your enemy.

But we can't give the treasure up.

You two aren't worthy of dealing with me.
Get lost!

Whilst they're fighting,
take the treasure away, miss. Hurry!

What treasure?

The Longevity Jade
and the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving pill!

I have no idea. Dad never told me.

What now?! Which box are they in?

I don't think they're in any one of them.

- Treat Chief Escort first.
- Okay!

- Big Brother Miu, we'll be leaving now.
- Hurry up!

Hey, find someplace to hide, quickly!

Right!

Hold it!

They've run away!

Nothing.

- Split up and go after them!
- Right!

You're really good.

- Let's go.
- Hold it!

You two bastards wanna end up like him?

You wanna die!

Go!

Both of you, leave with Chief Escort now.

I'll try and get those two treasures back.

Big Brother Miu, how's Dad's injury?

Chief Escort's internal injury
is very serious.

I'm afraid it won't get better
for a while.

Unless... we have Lui Bat-Fung's antidote.

Miss Fong.

I started all this. I'll go and find it.

Big Brother Gong, you can't go.

If you go, you'll die in vain.

But I can't bear to see Chief Fong
unconscious like this.

Big Brother Miu, is there any other cure?

There is. Wu Tang's Siu Wan pill.

Right. I'll head to Wu Tang
to get the cure.

Chief Fong will be in your care.

Big Brother Gong!

You must be careful.
Go early and return early.

I will.

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Consider yourself lucky
that I have my eyes on you.

You pervert! I'll fight you!

You'll fight me?

Pow!

Damn brat, what do you want?!

Me?

What did you want?

None of your business! Get lost!

You get lost!

Guess you don't wanna live!

Bullseye!

Catch me if you can!

- Come on!
- Where are you going?!

Catch me and I'll give you a Jujube!

- Come on!
- Think you can run away?

- Come up!
- Get down, I dare you!

- Come up!
- Get down now!

Get down? All right!

Swing, swing...

'The Man of a Thousand Faces'
Yam Yat-Foo?!

Fake!

Take this!

Yam Yat-Foo! Don't run!

Elder!

- Silly boy, there's poison on that dart!
- Elder.

You still haven't given her
the Hu Ming pills? Give her two!

Silly boy, what are you doing here?

Chief Fong got hurt.

Fong Wei's hurt? Who did it?

It was 'Invincible Iron Palmy'
Lui Bat-Fung.

Then why didn't you stop him?

How could I do that?
You know my kung fu isn't good enough.

Bullshit!

That beggar has taught you several moves.

You hardly practised at all!

Do you know who the junior beggar is?

Let me tell you,
he's an apprentice of mine.

I'm not bluffing.
He really knows his shit!

Go on! Seeing you makes my eyes sore.

Go back and give Fong Wei
two Hu Ming pills.

I'll be back soon.

Here. This is my only belonging.
The Conquering the Dragon manual.

You better look out for yourself!

Yes! Thank you, Elder! Thank you!

Big Brother Miu!

What are you doing here?

I've had enough of being mistreated
throughout this journey.

'An honest person
does not act surreptitiously.'

I don't want to be
your head of security now.

So you're saying
you want those treasures too?

Correct.

Miss Fong, if you won't hand over
the Longevity Jade

and the Nine Loops Soul-Reviving pill,
then don't blame me...

You... What do you want?

I want the treasures.

Talk! Where's it hidden?

- Don't know!
- Don't know?

If I can't get these treasures,

then I won't have an explanation
for the Five Poisons school master.

So you're an undercover spy
from the Five Poisons school.

- Tell me!
- No!

Damn kid, get lost!

Big Brother Gong, turns out
he's a spy from Five Poisons!

Five Poisons?
Don't be afraid, Daddy's here!

So you're a bad guy too!

I'll kill you!

Don't run, you!

Big Brother Gong!

You kept such good skills well hidden.

I'm flattered.

What took you so long to get back?

Sorry.

Something happened on my way back,
so I was late.

You are...?

I'm Lau Gim-Ping, Miss Fong.

Hero Gong was helping me,

hence the delay in coming back.

Please forgive me, Miss Fong.

- You're too kind!
- Thanks for conveying that.

Miss Fong, my sister-in-law
has always admired Chief Fong,

so I came here to join your team
of security escorts.

- Thank you, Miss Lau.
- Not at all.

The life-saving pills!

Give it to Chief Fong, quick!

Hurry!

Big Brother Gong.

- You're up early.
- Yes.

I was worried,
so I couldn't sleep all night.

Don't worry!

Even if my life is on the line,

I won't let any robber touch you
or your father.

Practising?

I was afraid that you'd be hungry,
so I got some food.

- Thank you, sister-in-law.
- Thank you.

Stop calling me that!

Miss Fong, get out of here now.

Attack!

Damn you!

This way! Hurry!

Both of you, go now!

Motherfucker! You dare to fight me?

Guess you can't wait to go to Hell,
just like Wai Tin-Ying!

So you indeed killed my younger brother!

Let me kill you first!
I'll find those two girls sooner or later.

What are you bragging about?
You can't even beat me.

I'll settle the score with you
in good time!

Uncle.

Here...

Who's there?

Chief Fong.

Miss Fong!

- You've woken up?
- Yes.

Dad!

Dad, you don't know
how much I worried about you.

Why worry?

With Hero Gong here,
you needn't be worried.

He did well along the way.

This girl is...?

Dad, this is Miss Lau. She's here to help.

How do you do, Uncle Fong?

How do you do?

Dad, Escort Miu turned out to be a spy
from the Five Poisons school.

Really?

Where is our escort team now?

Almost at Fushan Cliff.

If my guess is right:

After Fushan Cliff,
the road should be wide open.

I doubt the robbers will dare
to make their moves there.

Chief Fong, rest assured.

The treasures will be around
as long as I am!

I, Gong Tao, won't let those robbers
get what they want!

Good.

FUSHAN CLIFF

Damned old ghost, we're now a team.
You scared?

You've finally all come out.

Cut the crap. Hand it over!

If you want it, come and get it.

That's right!

If you want to go to Hell,
then come and get it!

Attack!

- Goon!
- Right!

There!

Are you all right?

- Are you all right?
- What are you doing?!

Allow me!

I'm on your side!

Rascal, eh?

Hey, what's with the stylish look?

Hey, duck!

- Rascal, your kung fu's getting better!
- You flatter me!

Let me tell you,
I have a few more moves here!

Really?

Hey, someone's attacking!

Stinks!

Hey, let's open the guarded boxes
whilst they're occupied.

You can stop searching, idiots!
It's here with me!

I'll throw it away so no one will get it!

Let"s go get it! Hurry!

Hey, it's here!

Catch!

- What is it you want?
- What?

You wanna fish in troubled waters?

You wanna swallow it yourself?

You're both almost there.

Outrageous.

- Attack!
- Right!

Goddammit!

I'll take care of him.
You go and help her.

Go on.

- Are you all right? Watch me!
- I'm fine.

You keep going!

Hey! Let me down now.

Uncle!

Elder.

- Are you both all right?
- Yes.

Help her rest first.

- I'll help Junior Beggar.
- All right.

Step aside. Let me!

Let me help!

Be careful!

You deserve it!

Elder!

You...!

You think you're any better?

You dare to beat my apprentice to death...
and hurt my son like this?

- Son!
- Yam Yat-Foo!

I think you ought to give up
on the treasures.

Take your son back and bury him.

Change your evil ways
and retreat from the martial world,

and we'll spare you.

Spare me, my arse!

Now that my son is also dead,
there's nothing to hold me back now.

I will get the jade and the pills
at any cost!

Fong, you old fart.
Wise up and give them up now.

Otherwise, you'll never live past today!

Yam Yat-Foo, you're still so obsessed?!

Damn beggar, I'll kill you first!

Master!

Almost died!

Here comes Zatoichi!

No, no... Here comes my dog-beating stick!

What's so sticky?

Broken.

It's broken now.

No...!

You can still be a eunuch!

It's safe! There'll be good fortune!

Good fortune?!

The Golden Cicada Shreds its Shell!

Tortoise Shrinks Head but Not Tail!

Goddammit! Charge!

Get up!

- Elder, what"s that?
- The secret manual!

Elder, let me help.

- Luckily I got you!
- Damn brat, you again!

I'll tell you, you can only outsmart him,
not by brute force, okay?

Outsmart him? Got it!

This is outsmarting.

See that? Hit him with one foot!

Great stuff, eh?

One foot? I'll break both of your feet!

Daddy hasn't shown you everything yet!

Master, is there such a move
in the secret manual?

He read it in reverse!

Even better!

You evaded that pretty fast!

You wanted me to have no heirs?!

Charge!

Stab!

A fake?! So you're a bald donkey!

Strike!

Master, why do those moves
look so familiar?

- Why are you taking off my clothes?
- I'll peel your skin and tear your bones!

Let me read this first.

- See what else you can do!
- There's more! Watch me!

These were all wrong!

Forget it!

Hey! One more move here! Catch!

LEG STANCE

So many kicks? How?!

Listen! Broom feet, cut feet,
shadow less feet!

No way!

Broom feet, cut feet, shadow less feet!

My feet have been caught!

What feet have you left now?

Polio feet!

Arthritic feet! Paralysed feet!
Chicken hands and duck feet! Flying feet!

Flying feet!

Bruce Lee feet!

Hong Kong has enough feet!

Headbutt!

Securing the Country with One Finger.

He's done for!

Hero Gong, you've worked hard.

Not at all.

We've finally taken care of
all these villains.

Dad, so where exactly did you hide
the jade and the pill?

Great, eh?

How can there be so many treasures
in this world?

This was just a trick I played on them.

Thanks to Uncle
who came up with this trick.

Otherwise, how could these gangsters
be wiped out one by one?

I protected the escort with all I had!
So it was fake?!

You should thank me
for teaching you this move!

Securing the Country with One Finger