Hail the Judge (1994) - full transcript
Pao Lung-Sing, a descendant of the famous Judge Pao Ching Tient, is a 9th degree corrupt judge (lowest degree) who changes his tune when he tries to champion a woman Chi Siu-Lin, who was framed for killing her husband. As a result, Pao is forced to flee and through a series of events (often hilarious) becomes a 1st degree judge and comes back to wreak havoc and justice on the guilty.
The moon is so pretty.
Sing, whenever the moon is so pretty,
make a wish.
Then your wish will come true.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Moon, I wish to be an Official.
I want to be a decent one, to arrest
criminals and corrupted officials.
HAIL THE JUDGE
Who comes early in the morning?
Broken drum. Broken board.
Poor court.
Ask your poor official out.
How dare you insult our Honour?
He is just a junior official.
He doesn't worth to be insulted by me,
Mr. Fong Tong Kan.
Fong Tong Kan?
Are you the best lawyer in Canton,
nick named "Mirror Fong"?
This is the lawsuit,
I represent Mr. Lin to accuse
Wong Lo-chou's wife.
When Mr. Lam went to collect rent,
she tried to rape Mr. Lin.
You are framing me.
It was Mr. Lin
who wanted to rape my wife.
Where is His Honour?
He's gone
to your grandpa's home.
Check.
No use, my king goes this side.
I check again.
I will kill your king.
Don't think that you are great
as being a magistrate.
How can I compete with you?
Have you remembered
what I told you?
You should be a decent
and honest official.
Dad, but you were a...
Yes, I was a corrupted official.
I could do anything for money.
Since I did so many bad deeds.
So, twelve of your brothers
died before me.
Your brothers died
one after another.
I could do nothing,
but retired and donated
all my wealth for charily.
That's why your live is kept.
See, I wrote a word for you
as decoration.
That's "HONEST".
But, I think...
It's like the word "Poverty".
Uncle, uncle,
what a big trouble...
Uncle, grandpa.
What's the matter?
Come, come and have
some sweet soup.
It's delicious.
Kau, come and eat.
Mom, I am Sing, your 13th son.
Do I have so many sons?
Kid, who are you looking for?
I am your husband.
How about you?
I am your grandson, grandma.
My lovely little girl,
you are so tall now.
Hubby, eat now,
or it will get cold.
I am Sing, Mom.
Uncle, we will be rich.
Let "Mirror Fong" lead the show.
We will get advantage
in the middle.
Well done.
I've wasted so much to buy this post,
I just want money.
You bad kid.
I asked you not to be corrupted official,
why don't you listen to me?
Mirror Fong is the first lawyer
in Canton.
Do you want to compete with him?
Stop dreaming.
It's alright, dad, I know it.
- Let's go.
- Grandpa, we are leaving.
Son, don't forget
to take my calligraphy.
You keep the word "Poverty".
Why are you standing?
I am Fong Tong Kan.
Being a scholar, I needn't kneel
in front of you.
How cocky you are!
You always help the rich
to bully the poor.
Just like sending others shit
in snowy season.
Be careful, if he passes the examination,
he will be your senior.
I don't care, now.
I do want
to teach you a lesson.
Thank you...
I've heard that your mom
is hospitable.
No matter local people or foreigners,
she won't mind.
I've known that you always
greet others "God-father".
You are welcome, but my mom
is really hospitable.
No, he means
your mom is a hooker.
You mean my mom is a hooker,
right?
Well, when did you see me...
sending others shit
in snowy season?
This is only a description.
Well, I mean...
your mom is friendly only.
I don't always greet others
God-father, you...
I don't know that.
But Wong's wife did intend
to rape Mr. Lin.
Please give her
appropriate punishment.
His wife intended to rape him?
I am framed, sir.
Mr. Lin came to collect rent,
he wanted to indecent assault her.
When I came back, I saw him
holding my wife's hands.
He pressed my wife on the table,
and wanted to rape her.
I couldn't help attacking him
with the rod.
His fellows rushed in at once,
and held me.
Lin Chi-yong,
you held other's hands.
Obviously,
you wanted to rape his wife.
Sir, you are so smart today.
Really?
You look great.
I am always look great.
Are your palms red?
Show me please.
What are you doing?
You said,
holding hands mean raping.
So, am I raping you now?
Take a seat and watch my show.
The fact is, Mr. Lin wanted
to take his house back,
for Wong and his wife
didn't pay the rent.
They do want to blackmail
Mr. Lin by raping him.
Please give a fair judgement.
No, sir.
The house was rented by
Mr. Lin's dad to my dad.
Since my dad
saved his dad's life.
So, his dad let us the house
which charges 30 taels a year.
We pay the rent every year.
Do you have any title deeds?
Show me.
Yes.
So tiny is this?!
Well, why not this one?
It's father.
Which one do you want?
Big one please.
I've got father of it.
Good boy.
You did greet me "God-father".
Right?
Would you read it out?
"I, Lin Da-fu, am renting the house
in Tai Shu Street...
to my benefactor Wong,
so as to repay his merit.
If no rent is paid, never mind
charge 30 taels a year.
Do not collect it
and rent to others.
My sons and grandsons should
follow this title-deeds."
See? Your dad said, you can't blame him
if he doesn't pay the rent.
Instead, he pays the rent every year,
how can you collect his house?
We pay 30 taels a year.
What?
It should be $300,000 taels.
What did you say?
Are you literate?
I know you are not.
Let me teach you.
You should read this
in this way.
The house is rented to Wong,
so as to repay his merit.
If no rent is paid, never mind
charging $300000 taels a year.
Do notice, collect it
and rent to others.
How can you amend it like this?
Can you make your judgement now?
Do you want to be bribed
from a delayed judgement?
This cheque for $3,000 taels,
is not yours.
This is you,
you worth this much only.
Take it.
One tael?
- If you don't want it, just forget it.
- No.
Hurry up.
Announce your judgement now.
Wong didn't pay the rent, you should
move out as soon as possible.
Return the house to Lin Chi-yong.
About the raping case,
since she couldn't make it,
just forget it.
Mr. Lin is so generous.
See you.
What a unfair world!
God-son, take my advice, you'd better
go home and be a farmer.
How can you be an official?
You will never stop
losing face, boy!
The Chi's sedan chair is here
to pick up the bride.
Who is going to marry
that consumptive?
Even Pao Lung Sing can be
the government official,
everything can happen.
Come on, have some tea.
Uncle, where are you going?
- I would like to take a walk.
- No...
Why?
That's too much.
Yu Fa, go and take a look first.
Mr. Pao is out.
Throw him to death...
Sir, there is something wrong.
I see.
Let's go from the rear exit.
Uncle, it's safe, come out.
It's alright.
Let's go.
What's going on?
Welcome, Bastard!
Is it for you?
Impossible.
I am not called "Bastard".
Throw him to death.
Take a look, it's pretty.
Come and buy vegetable.
Mister, buy some, it's fresh.
We have been safe.
No one recognizes me.
Mr. Pao.
Deep fried Mr. Pao!
Deep-fried Pao Lung Ging.
I want two.
Pal, this is fried
stinky bean curd.
How is it related
to Pao Lung Sing?
That bastard!
He is as stink as this.
How can you talk like this?
Deep fried Pao Lung Sing.
Pao was raped by few strong men.
This corrupted officer
deserves to be raped.
Am I that disgusting?
Yau Wai, tell me,
tell me the truth.
Sometimes,
after starring at you for a while,
I do want to vomit.
But I think a little bit reservation
is needed.
Pao was towed to the muddy pool,
the muscular men fed him with shit,
but he loved it.
He even enjoyed shit. He said,
"I can't stop eating!".
Did I do anything bad to you,
thus you hate me that much?
Anyway, I am an official!
Although
I am not very handsome.
But you needn't tease me
like this.
I don't think everyone hates me
that much.
Anybody likes me, hands up.
Go...
Well, you don't like to raise
your hand, just forget it.
But you ran away,
what does that mean?
Where are they going?
To take weapon.
Throw him to death...
I think,
they are against me only.
That's truth.
What a failure!
I make no money,
and make everyone hate me.
I'd better educate
the next generation.
Because the children
will master the future.
If only they like me,
I will have future.
Little friend.
You good boy, I love you, kid.
I can't imagine
how can a kid spit so much.
Kidding? How can
that consumptive get married?
That's right.
Wonderful.
He is fighting in my territory,
but he didn't inform me beforehand.
I'm Panther, the No. 1 constable,
I'm here to arrest the Notorious 40.
Whoever blocks my way,
who will be killed with no mercy.
This girl is so pretty.
What's wrong
with this sedan chair?
Son, go and pick your bride up.
What a waste!
Will her husband
die suddenly tonight?
If he dies,
then you will replace him?
I didn't say so, you said it.
- Mr. Pao.
- I am not, I am not.
Pal, mind your tongue,
or I will report to the court.
You needn't deny. I recognize you
from your special smell.
Thank you for coming to our wedding party,
I feel so proud of you.
Uncle, you are appreciated.
You have to thank God.
Old man,
are you appreciating me?
If there is corrupted official,
we, traffickers could make money easily.
So you are a trafficker!
Sir, please give me face,
go in and join our party.
Alright, let's go.
- Remember to give us a red pocket.
- This way, Please...
Give me a cheerful face.
It will be alright soon,
it's almost done.
Old man, your son
seems to be seriously sick.
He is fine.
Don't cough the lung out, pal.
It's OK.
What is it?
A piece of liver!
Pal, I don't need this
for making hot pot.
I feel so comfortable.
It's finished,
take a rest please.
Uncle, they are going to get married,
stop dreaming.
What?
He may die during the wedding.
He even coughed out his liver.
Is that real liver?
What do you think?
Thank you.
Cousin Yuen Kwan, congratulations,
you've a daughter-in-law now.
I am his step-mother only.
None of my business.
I know you've kept a hand copy
of Wahyim Sufra.
Could you let me have a look?
You go first.
How can you escape?
Panther, your sword is powerful,
If you have guts, why don't you
drop it and fight with us?
Alright.
Attack.
Panther, your hands are powerful,
if you have guts, just fight with us
without using your hands.
Alright.
Attack.
You have powerful feet.
If you have guts, fight with us
without using hands, legs, and sword.
Alright.
His voice is really powerful.
Someone is killed,
report to the court now.
I am an official.
How about me?
I am the first constable.
I am Lui Pao,
nick named "Panther".
I've chased after these notorious robbers
for 7 days and nights.
You've kept them here.
Sir, I don't know
what had happened.
Don't you know
they were coming to your party?
Sir, my son's getting married.
I didn't know
they had sneaked in.
Really?
Sir, I daren't cheat you.
Mr. Pao, don't you think so?
Mr. Pao, where have you been?
Mr. Pao...
Sir, he is paying
no respect to us.
It's faceless
to hide under the table.
Shut up, let's take a rest here,
it's fine.
He seems to be powerful now,
I just let him be number one first.
Once he loses control,
he will do something wrong.
Then I will go out to attack.
What's the matter? I'm researching
how to eat the roasted pig,
why do you disturb me?
You are the official
of this place, right?
Right, I am.
You must have linked with him
to give those robbers protection.
And you wanted to rebel against
the government, right?
He is as good as you
at framing others.
Since we are of the same kind,
let's share the money
we are going to blackmail.
Maybe, I will take
the bigger share.
I want all.
That's good.
What can I help you?
I tell you, my visit today,
is being an undercover, to check
whether you've committed crime.
Thank God.
We've discovered you.
You are the man behind of
so many criminal cases.
Men, take him back.
Sir, none of my business, sir.
I am framed.
None of my business.
- Deal.
- Thank you.
They said they will give us
50 thousand taels within two hours.
Why not go back and asked
2 girls to dine with us?
Just 2?
I want twenty!
Sir, please wait here.
I am going to check whether
the girls have come or not.
They are coming.
Have they arrived?
Go and serve Mr. Panther,
got me?
You bastard,
how dare you offend me?
You shit-head.
That bastard Mr. Pao
has fallen into the hole.
Bastard, throw him to death...
- He deserves it.
- You claim yourself great Kung-fu master?
What are you doing?
Are you playing?
Have you listened to what I said?
How can you drop rats into it?
Mr. Panther, don't panic.
I will let a snake
eat up all the rats.
Wait for me, Uncle.
Hurry up.
The banquet
must have been finished.
I just want to eat
the dessert only.
It's almost dawn, you will be lucky
if they reserve an orange for you.
Your Honour...
I am not, I am not...
Your Honour, don't go.
We know that you are great.
You fixed that Panther
and saved Chi's family.
We represent Chi's family
to welcome you.
Let's clap our hands
to welcome Mr. Pao.
You are great! Bravo!
Mr. Pao, would you say
something to us?
Mind your tongue,
say something decent.
Have you eaten
the noodles yet?
Mr. Pao, we haven't eaten
the roasted pig yet,
we have reserved one for you.
Let's go for our dinner.
Thank you Sir,
you are really wise.
You're welcome,
take this as my gift.
Old man, haven't you eaten
the roasted pig yet?
Kid, it's you again!
Do you want to spit again?
Stop it,
- or I will beat you up.
- This is for you.
Mr. Pao is marvellous.
Thank you.
Treat your wife better,
or I will lock you up.
And, take care.
Eat more liver, it's nutritious.
Go and enjoy your first night.
Go now, go...
I don't want to marry you.
I want to marry Mr. Pao.
Mr. Pao...
Siu Lin...
Great, Siu Lin...
Come here, Siu Lin.
Uncle, what are you doing?
Being stared by the handsome men
and pretty girls.
Go.
Be careful of fire.
Pretend to have stomach ache.
Line up for a toilet.
- Pretend to have stomach ache...
- Help.
What's the matter?
Don't move.
Let me do it.
You'd better go.
Uncle, if you can't make it,
let me take your place.
Damn it, how dare you hit me?
The Chi's family was killed...
Don't touch anything.
How dare you!
Bite, bite with all your strength.
I won't panic.
Uncle, stop playing with him.
Watch out.
None of my business.
Let go of me...
How dare you, do you know...
- I know nothing.
- Do you understand...
I know nothing.
Bastard!
Men, prepare for punishment.
Beat him.
Do you want to beat me?
How dare you beat me?
You are such a junior staff!
You know? My dad is
the Navy Commander, Sir Shang Kwan.
Is Navy Commander
a senior post?
Much more senior than yours.
Brother Shang,
have you eaten yet?
Brother Shang,
do you want some tea?
How about the finest tea?
No way, I am a decent
and honest official.
Shit, even the emperor
commits the law,
he should be punished.
- "Punished".
- Just the same,
if he were the son
of the emperor!
Mrs. Chi, did he kill
your family?
Yes, sir.
My family, all together 13 people,
were killed by him.
Please give a fair judgement.
What the hell is this?
Tell me now.
Sir.
Shang Wai is
my mother-in-law's cousin.
He always visits our family.
On that night,
since my hubby was sick.
I went to worship God
to beg good luck for him.
Suddenly.
Someone covered my face
with a handkerchief.
I could smell some medicine.
Then I fainted.
When I woke up.
I was...
I was raped by Shang Wai.
You beast! Men!
Beat him 12738 times.
Stop. I'd better do it myself.
Uncle, don't get mad,
listen to her story first.
Alright, go on.
On that night...
You beast, you are inhuman...
Enough.
You were unconscious just then.
Why not make love again
as a compensation to you?
Don't come over.
You ass-hole.
How dare you! You've had
secret affair with her!
Shut up.
Hands off me.
Shut up...
Shut up...
Yuen Kwan...
You bastard,
you killed my wife.
I won't let you go,
I want to report to the court.
Father.
I want to kill you,
I want to kill you.
Don't be impulsive,
listen to her story first.
Time reporter,
what had happened?
I was reporting time.
Suddenly, I heard Chi's dog
barking madly.
So I went in and checked.
Suddenly, I saw
dead bodies everywhere.
And I saw Shang Wai
and Loi Fook fighting.
Later, I was kicked
and I lost consciousness.
I saw nothing then.
Summon Loi Fook.
Did Shang Wai kill 13 people
of Chi's Family?
Yes...
He wanted to kill me too.
Don't panic,
I am here to protect you.
Help, sir, please help me.
You said you would protect me.
He did give me face,
if I were not around,
he would have bitten you to death.
Thank you sir.
Then, what happened?
Look him up temporarily,
chop him after examining the bodies.
Look him up first, chop him
after the examination of bodies.
Yes.
You want to kill me?
I won't give it a damn.
- I won't give it a damn.
- What did you say?
What did you say?
You made a mistake.
Where is justice?
Mrs. Chi.
Don't worry, I will try my best,
to take revenge for your family.
Uncle, you've done a great job.
What's shinning?
It's the light
from the gold, Sir.
It's you?
We work for our own masters
in the court.
And I'd like to compensate now.
What compensation?
As an old Chinese saying,
there is golden house in the books.
If you do me a small favour,
you needn't study,
but get this golden house free.
Let's discuss it.
What do you mean?
Mister Shang Wai is the son
of Sir Shang Kwan.
You have known it, right?
But, do you know that...
Mr. Shang
is the buddy of Eunuch Li.
- Who is that?
- Isn't he Li Lin-ying,
the most powerful eunuch?
He is the right hand
of the Empress Dowager.
You scared me.
These money...
is sent by Mr. Shang to you
as present.
What the hell do you want?
Mr. Shang's mom
is now 97 years old.
She loves Mr. Shang very much.
She heard the news
about Mr. Shang,
she's been crying
again and again.
Mr. Shang hopes you, Mr. Pao,
to let Mrs. Shang pay a visit
to her grandson.
Sir, you'd better take
an early rest.
Tomorrow, I will lead Mrs. Shang
to leave the prison.
Why don't you just give a hand
to such simple matter?
Are you bribing me?
Isn't it the practice of you?
I have been
an honest and decent...
I won't be bridled,
I tell you.
- Have you ever heard of it?
- Yes.
But, just be considerate,
she is so old.
Yeah, she is old,
I have to respect her.
Filial duty is the first thing
we Chinese should do.
I am a little bit tired.
Yau Wai,
lead them to the prison.
- Yes.
- Wait.
When I wake up,
I want Shang Wai kneeling
in the court, got me?
Sure, sure, thank you sir.
This way please.
She is almost
a hundred years old.
She just wants to see
her grandson, it's alright.
Let me go...
You know?
My dad is the Navy Commander.
My Godfather is Eunuch Li.
I want to kill your family.
Don't chat so long, you know,
you will make me feel difficult.
- Sorry for bothering.
- Thank you.
Who are you?
Your grandma
is coming to visit you.
Grandma?
Dad, dad.
Are you looking for death?
You have made a big trouble.
Dad, take me away.
Where can you go?
I am the Navy Commander.
Even you escaped, the government
still requested me to arrest you.
I disguise to visit you,
it's a big risk you know?
If I am discovered,
I would be in trouble.
What'll I do? I am scared.
Don't worry.
I've employed Mr. Fong
to defend for you.
Mr. Shang, you have
to tell me every detail.
Don't miss anything.
How is the case? Can you help?
Luckily, it's 5 o'clock,
we still have 4 hours to work.
What are we going to do?
To change white to black.
To change the accused
to be the prosecutor.
Tomorrow,
you have to remember...
Court...
Yau Wai...
What's the matter, Uncle?
I haven't got up yet,
why you start the court?
Mr. Chan has come back
early in the morning.
Mr. Chan.
Yes, he is the magistrate,
you are the acting magistrate.
He's recovered, so he will be
the judge of this court.
You've had a sound sleep,
so I didn't wake you up.
Shit.
Uncle...
Sir.
Sir, this case has been...
Cut the crap, step aside.
Step aside.
Yes.
Uncle, sit here.
Damn it.
Mrs. Chi, you sue Shang Wai
of killing your family.
Other than you,
who has witnessed it?
Summon the coroner.
Sir, 13 people of Chi's family
and a dog.
Their faces
all turned to black.
I tested it with a silver needle,
it turned black too.
I am sure that they were
poisoned to death.
I discovered
a pot of sweet soup.
It's mixed with arsenic.
How dare you! Your family
was poisoned to death.
Why did you claim they were beaten
to death by Shang Wai?
You are framing him,
aren't you?
Sir, I am framed.
Sir, I saw Shang Wai chasing after
her servant...
Who saw Shang Wai
chasing Loi Fook?
I saw it,
the time reporter saw it too.
Time reporter?
Summon the time reporter.
Sir, I didn't see Shang Wai
chasing after Loi Fook.
When I entered the Chi's garden,
I saw Loi Fook...
chasing after Shang Wai,
Shang wanted to counter attack.
Later, I was kicked by Loi Fook,
then I fainted.
I didn't know anything at all.
This is not what you said
last night, you...
I felt dizzy last night,
so I couldn't tell every details.
Think before talking, such thing...
Shut up.
Summon the drugs store keeper
Chu Yee.
Right, sir.
Yesterday at noon, this woman
came to my store to buy drugs.
She said there were rats in her house,
so I sold her a catty of arsenic.
I didn't. Sir.
I didn't buy any arsenic
in his store.
I always go there
to buy coughing herbs.
Who is it?
Sir, I am Fong Tong Kan,
I want to sue someone.
He...
Who are you going to sue?
I represent Mr. Shang to sue Mrs. Chi
who blackmailed Mr. Shang.
She failed,
thus she framed him of murdering.
I want to sue Mr. Pao, he is bribed
and wants to frame Mr. Shang.
Sir, I've heard that,
Mr. Pao has been bribed
by Mrs. Chi with $30,000.
Now, his house
is filled with money.
Really?
Men, go check it.
Yes.
Sir, we are trapped. No,
- I have to tidy up our place first.
- Freeze.
Sir, there is much money
in Mr. Pao's place.
Pao, you are now
temporarily suspended.
Until the truth
has been discovered.
Mrs. Chi didn't give me money.
The money is for me.
How dare you
framing others now?
If you speak up again,
I will beat you.
I...
Uncle, save it,
they are allied.
Come on.
Just stay with me.
My God-son,
I can't help you now.
And, I want to sue Mrs. Chi
who killed her whole family.
Sir, I am framed.
Shang Wai killed my family.
How dare you mess up in court?!
Men, beat her mouth.
- Yes.
- I am framed.
Sir, how come the accused
become the prosecutor?
You are fired.
If you don't keep your mouth shut,
I will beat you to nuts.
Men, summon Shang Wai.
Sir.
Sir, I am Yiu's brother.
Last night,
I discovered the secret affair
of Mrs. Chi and Loi Fook.
Mrs. Chi begged me
not to disclose the secret.
And she asked me to discuss
with her in her place.
I went to her place,
she made some sweet soup.
But her family had all gone.
She wanted to treat me
sweet soup.
You are lying...
- Beat her mouth again.
- Yes Sir.
Sir...
I suspected that,
and I didn't drink it.
Later, I discovered
her family were all dead.
Loi Fook rushed in to kill me,
he asked his dog to bite me.
I am scared, and I rushed to the street.
Loi Fook was after me.
Suddenly, he shouted for help.
I didn't know what kind of code
is that.
Later, Mr. Pao and his men arrived,
they arrested me.
You are lying...
Summon the gynaecologist.
Sir.
I've checked Mrs. Chi.
On the day the tragedy happened,
she was mated with someone.
And she is now pregnant.
That's right.
Her husband is having phthisis.
Doctor said
he couldn't have son.
The public knows it.
Now she is pregnant,
it proves her affair with Loi Fook.
Summon Loi Fook.
Sir.
How dare you
seduce your master?
And you killed Chi's family,
don't you know it's felony?
Sir...
I did have secret affair
with Mrs. Chi.
But I didn't poison Chi's family,
she did it alone.
I didn't...
You are lying!
How can she fall for you?
Who will believe in you?
Show me evidence.
Mrs. Chi loves me,
for she thinks that I am civilized,
she sent me a poem.
I've brought it here, sir,
let me read it out.
"Once we meet,
I know we are two of a kind."
"Who cares how long can we stay,
just enjoy our time".
Sir, please read this.
I am framed.
How dare you
hook with your servant,
and poisoned your family
to death?
Now, all evidences are enough
to prove you are guilty.
Are you going to admit it?
I am framed.
Give her punishment.
Sir, stop it,
she can stand no more.
Uncle, stop arguing.
Sir, my ancestors and I have been
officials for three generations.
I know pretty well that traps
are needed in politics.
But, you are going too far now.
You have no say here.
No...
Go on.
What are you doing?
Mrs. Chi confessed.
Well, she will have her capital
punishment after Autumn.
Lock her up now.
Adjourn.
Sorry.
You bastard,
you allied with them to set me up.
I won't let you go.
I won't let you go.
Snow! It's snowing.
Snow in June.
It's a set up.
Come and have judgement again...
It's a set up.
The house is empty, where can
we get the evidence?
Are you expecting the evidence
is put on the table?
You should discover it yourself.
Bravo...
A tough dog.
Isn't it the dog of Chi?
Bill.
How do you know that?
"The dog of Chi, Bill"
Who wrote it?
I remembered, you asked them
not to move the evidence,
and you wanted them
to label it.
God is helping me.
Show me its head.
Turn it.
Not poisoned?
Obviously, its neck was broken.
It's killed.
Why were they found poisoned?
I have to check the bodies.
It's felony
to interrupt the dead bodies.
"Coffin Home"
Oh, the head is connected
by needles.
If the needle is pulled,
the body will be separated.
He was beaten to death.
But the needle turns black.
It proves that, there is poisoned
substance inside their throats.
Hurry up, it stinks.
I have to check another body.
Try stabbing into the stomach.
If they are poisoned,
the needle will turn black too.
Yes.
It isn't, there is no poisoned
substance inside his stomach.
But there is poison
in the throat?
I guess,
they were beaten to death.
Then, the poison was poured
into their throat.
So, the poison
could never reach the stomach.
Right.
I've got it.
Bingo!
I've got it.
Sir, why are you here?
I am coming
to arrest you.
Do you want
to destroy the evidence?
You will be put in jail.
Mr. Chan.
Mr. Shang.
Well done.
You are very wise.
You know they will come back
to look for evidence.
Set a fire
and destroy everything.
Yes Sir.
And.
Uproot the trouble.
Ask someone
to go to the prison and...
Pal, please tell my senior,
how about let me change
to be stained witness...
You nuts.
Your nephew is smarter than you,
he is the stained witness now.
He is going to against you.
He is now staying home
and having soup.
You deserve it.
What did you say?
You corrupted official.
You deserve to be put in jail.
I am not in good mood,
cut the crap.
I won't give you face.
So what? Come and fight with me
if you have guts.
Don't push me,
I will beat you.
You bastard,
you should stay with that bitch.
Which bitch?
What did you say? Repeat.
That's Mrs. Chi.
She is right behind you.
You mean behind this wall?
Yeah.
You should have told me earlier.
Mrs. Chi,
I am Pao Lung Sing.
Where are you?
Save your crocodile's tears.
Just charge me
with anything you want.
In fact, I do want to go to heaven
to stay with my husband.
What a pity that,
I am having his baby.
Is that consumptive's blood?
No, I mean your husband?
My husband has got
a hereditary nostrum.
He look medicine regularly,
he had almost recovered.
And he got
the reproductive ability too.
So great.
Why don't you come here?
So you could torture me.
You misunderstood.
Look at me.
In order to fight for justice
for you.
I was dragged down too.
I misunderstand you,
I am sorry.
It doesn't matter,
I wish I could go out.
And you will let me copy
your hereditary nostrum.
However, I think
they will kill me this time.
Sir, I am sorry.
Please don't say that.
Mrs. Chi, please give me
your finger.
I don't think
there is no justice at all.
I promise, once I am alive.
I will try my best
to save you.
Thank you Mr. Pao.
Uncle, uncle...
- You bastard.
- Cut the crap.
- You are sentenced to death.
- Death?
They said you allied
with notorious robbers.
Smuggling arms.
Pushed an old lady to the sea.
And raped a pig.
Never, I didn't rape a pig.
Anyway,
they wanted to frame you.
You will be dead meat.
I've discussed with grandpa.
Before your death, we want you
to leave a descendant.
So, we've got you a virgin.
I also want it.
You will be the next.
Cut the crap,
go in and reproduce.
Yu Fa, hurry up.
It's you.
Of course.
Don't waste time, hurry up.
Yau Wai, mask me please.
You needn't be masked,
but I have a new method.
"Incredible Stance!"
Yu Fa, you are incredible!
Cut the crap, let's go now.
Mrs. Chi, don't worry,
I will come back to save you.
Go.
Sir, I wish you to be safe.
Lucky forever.
Son, I am glad you are back.
Great,
you have got your memory.
Mom.
Son, it's great to see you.
Your dad is seriously sick.
Are you alright?
I am glad you are rescued.
I am useless, I lost your face.
How come? It's you who is not
as vicious as them.
You know?
A corrupted should be
hard hearted and vicious.
A decent official
should be more vicious.
Or, how can you cope
with those bastards?
Son, go to the capital
to sue them.
I do want to do so.
I have half cake.
I've kept this for 20 years,
you'd better make good use of it.
What is it?
The Judicial Secretary
is my best friend.
Once he was almost
starved to death.
I had a cake,
I just gave him all.
Later, he returned half to me.
He said, when he got rich,
if my descendants
took this cake to him,
he would try his best
to help us.
But I am afraid
I couldn't compete with them.
How come?
We are from the Pao's family.
In Sung Dynasty,
our ancestor Pao Ching...
The Great Judge?
Yeah, that's him.
He wrote this sacred scroll.
I've learnt everything.
Why don't you tell me earlier?
Where is it now?
It's under the table.
"The sacred scroll"
But I can't read
such letters!
This is ancient letters.
You didn't study hard,
that's why you don't know.
Ask someone to teach you.
I know it, dad.
What else do you have?
We have a Royal Sword.
It is sent by the Emperor,
take this to the capital.
Where is it now?
Take it.
This is authorized to kill the
corrupted king and vicious officials.
Take it.
Yau Wai, keep the sword.
Dad.
Dad...
I just want to...
What's wrong with you?
Do you want to set me free
so as to kill Pao Lung Sing?
You are nasty too.
I will kill him into pieces.
Yau Wai,
mom does give us some gold.
Why do you carry
so many carrots?
That's the gold
which Grand-mom mentioned.
I think these carrots are enough
for us to go to the capital.
Uncle, there is something
over there.
That idiot seems to be you.
No, he isn't like that.
Thank God.
Uncle, is this the look
you've just made?
It seems to be very dangerous.
We passed.
That's him.
Don't go.
Run.
Don't go.
Hurry up, it's getting dark.
Hurry up, let's go on board.
Untie the boat.
Don't go, bastard!
Don't chase after me.
Wait for me.
A girl.
Why did you risk so much?
Someone wants to kill me,
so I should run for my life.
Don't go.
You can never escape.
Bastard!
Don't go, bastard.
Who is he calling?
He is greeting me as Betty.
Betty?
Thank you for your help.
- May I know your name?
- Stone Mansion.
- And you.
- Stone Talk.
Don't mention and don't talk?
Stone Mansion.
Stone Talk.
Forget it.
Why did the guy
chase after you?
I know it...
He wanted to rape her, so...
Nuts, he is a man.
Don't panic, I will be the boss,
I will help you to calm down.
Come on, eat now.
Miss Stone, are you going
to the capital?
Yes, we are.
But we won't go
into the capital.
Why not go there together,
so we can take care of each other.
Ask brother.
But you have to help us
in the show.
I know nothing.
- You may take a lesson.
- What?
Come and eat some food,
come on.
Take this. Come on.
You are great.
You are a quick learner.
Drink some water first.
Bravo!
Brother, you are great.
Don't move.
It's almost in.
Don't move.
Underwear.
Ying, where are you going?
I don't want to bother you, since
I know you are not happy with me.
I'd better leave.
Where are you going?
I don't know, just go anywhere.
You'd better get a shelter here.
If you stay,
I will take care of you.
Thank you.
I won't reject your hospitality.
You are nasty.
I...
Damn it, just a small trick!
Now, I have got
free accommodation and meal.
What a coincidence?
How did you come in?
There is a hole.
That's the hole for the rat.
I know how to shrink my body.
Wonderful!
Cut the crap, the inn is full.
I am afraid we have to sleep
in the same bed.
How come?
We are men, unless you are...
I am not.
So, come on.
Ying, come out now.
I am coming.
- What's the matter?
- Your relative
wants to see you.
My relative?
I've found you at last.
Shut up, I don't want
to see you, get lost.
- I don't...
- Shut up.
Shut up.
Why don't you let me
greet you?
Miss Betty.
You are so smart!
If I were smart,
I wouldn't have been beaten.
You almost discovered
my secret.
What? Miss Betty.
They are so kind to let you stay,
why do you cheat them?
Sorry, she is a girl.
- Dad.
- She is called Betty at home.
You are a woman?!
You know, it's not convenient
for a girl to fool around.
So she dressed like this.
Girl, say sorry to them. Go.
Oh, you're your brother's sister
and you're your sister's brother too!
Please don't tease me.
Miss Betty, would you please
come over?
Stop bothering.
I want to tell you something
about Uncle Sing.
I will be right back.
I've checked, this circus
is going to the capital.
We just have two carrots,
how can we afford going North?
Let's follow them
to the capital!
You needn't teach me.
Brother,
you can't do that to her!
She is a girl.
I don't know it at all.
So, you know it now?
Ying.
Sleep with me tonight.
Great.
Wait, I daren't sleep together,
I am afraid of darkness.
No problem,
I will accompany you.
What a beautiful moon.
If won't be beautiful soon,
come and sleep.
Have you chatted with others
on the root top?
I hate this most.
I forgot which old man told me.
When the moon is most pretty,
tell her your wish,
then your wish will come true.
Have you ever made a wish
to the moon?
How about you?
I made a wish,
I want to be a decent official.
Until now, I know it's hard to
be a decent official.
But I am between decent and nasty.
I achieved nothing.
I've heard the muscular man
scolded you as bastard,
who are you?
My surname is Pao.
Are you Pao Lung Sing?
Do you know me?
All the people
in nearby provinces know you!
You were fired in order to fight
for justice for a woman.
Your courage is praised.
In fact I am not.
I daren't look down.
To my mind, you are
the most courageous hero.
Since you force me,
I have to admit.
Since I love low profile.
And, please don't report
to the court.
I may sleep outside.
If you don't sleep with me,
your identity
will be easily disclosed.
You'd better take care.
Think of me any time.
You've to wear more clothes
when you are doing shows.
Remember, think of me, got me?
- Don't court girls.
- Don't seduce man.
Don't worry, I won't.
When will we meet again?
Next year, we will meet in Spring
when the flowers blossom.
Take care.
"High Rank Officer's Home"
Is this your cake?
Yes.
I am glad to see you,
how is your dad?
He has just passed away.
Why kind hearted people
don't have long life?
Be frank, I come
a long way here to meet you,
I just want you to help me to sue
someone in front of the Emperor.
- What is it about?
- I was an official.
But a rich guy hooked
with a corrupted official...
Stop it. Damn it.
I hate such kind of people most.
Uncle, I am so glad to meet you.
Tell me, who is that guy?
I will fight for justice for you
by all means.
He is called Shang Wai.
His dad is that bastard Shang Kwan,
the Navy Commander.
Your Excellency,
what do you think?
What's your idea?
I wish I could chop
their heads off.
And use their heads
to clean my ass.
Uncle, let it clean mine too.
After cleaning your ass,
return it to me, I will clean mine again.
Old man, do you have interest
to clean yours with their heads?
I will lend it to you.
Do I have a share?
Uncle, may I know your name?
I am Shang Kwan!
It's a trap!
I won't give it a damn!
Your Excellency,
it's so decent of you that,
- this guy...
- Save your breath.
- What?
- Save your breath! Go now.
The officials are protecting
each other.
My dad helped you once.
Even you don't help me,
you should give me some advantage.
May be, pay me a million
or something.
Your dad just gave me
a tasteless cake.
I could just repay you a cake.
But I am kind enough to pay you
100 times of it.
You really have guts.
Yau Wai, let's go.
Freeze, you needn't hurry.
Why not eat the cake first?
Men, feed them with cakes.
Come on, open your mouth.
How dare you! Even the Emperor
could do nothing to me.
Why not kill them?
No, I want them to stay
in the capital to be beggars!
So as to lose his dad's face.
Yau Wai, how are you?
Are you alright?
I feel a little bit hungry.
Thank you for your help.
You are welcome.
Daughter-in-law,
come and thank His Excellency.
- Thank you...
- You're welcome...
When will you give birth
to the baby?
Next month, you have to join
his birthday party.
Sure...
Hey... Go away... Go away.
"Yeung Jiang Old Temple"
Come on, buy some incense.
You will be blessed.
Miss, come and buy
some incense, come on.
Do you want to sell incense?
Uncle, we have been driven
to a dead end.
We will have some way out.
I know, but we haven't eaten
for days.
Thank you...
Pal, but I am an official.
Free buns!
Miss, please give me one,
one more please.
I haven't eaten for days.
Yau Wai, don't take those buns.
If you take it, you will become
a beggar at once.
I prefer being a beggar,
forget about me.
Listen to me please.
Don't block my way.
Someone is distributing money.
Yau Wai.
Listen to me please.
I won't be a beggar!
How dare you cheat for meal
in our place? Go to hell.
Go to hell...
Pal, you cheat for a free lunch?
So what?
I'm going to some place else.
Well. Be the ass-hole
rather than a beggar.
Please come again.
Mister, I can tell from your face
that you must be a visitor.
I can tell you must be rich.
Fung, Chun,
come and serve our VIP tea.
Come on, have some tea.
You don't like it?
Come to our VIP room then.
I will serve you
with the best dishes, come on.
Mister, don't hurry, take care.
Eat some more fish, come on.
Are you full?
Well, have some wine.
Come on,
this is my toast.
Come on, one more please.
Stop bothering me.
Come on, drink it.
No one cares only eating
in a prostitute house!
- Nuts!
- No, he isn't nuts.
He's good taste, he is not interested
in such ordinary girls.
I've to serve him
with our treasure...
Yu Yin.
Let's go out...
You...
Don't care who I am.
It's fate for us
to know each other now.
I...
Shut up, let's close our eyes,
to guess the character of each other,
say identity and interest.
One two three.
You are a woman.
You are a decent woman,
you don't care about money.
And...
Guess what I am.
I don't know your past.
But, later...
You will become a handicapped person.
You haven't a penny,
how dare you come to our place?
Don't come over.
Or, I will stab her eyes.
How dare you visit a prostitute house
without money?
No money
but have great meal?!
And order girls
to accompany you.
I will cut your balls out.
How dare you?
Have you seen it? This is
the correct way to beat him.
No money at all?
Just some cheap clothes?
Damn it.
Just one old book!
Don't touch my book.
Don't burn my book.
You can't damage it.
Don't!
It's over.
From this day onwards, you have
to be gigolo for three months.
Clean it, work hard.
Pour the water.
How poor is he,
he can't shut up his mouth.
How can he eat?
Ask your mistress out.
Or, I will scold her family
as well.
What's the matter?
Your girls have taken all my customers,
what do you think?
The clients pay whoever they like,
it's not our fault.
No way, I want you to repay my loss,
give me tea and say sorry.
Otherwise, I will teach you
good lesson.
Do you want to quarrel
with me?
Your son has no ass,
your dad is a gigolo.
You have broken ass,
you love eating chicken ass.
Big ass, how can you blame me
for your poor business?
- Let me scold you...
- No, I will tell you my story first.
My dad died when I was three,
when I was 4,5,6,7, and 8,
my dads died too.
I started to seduce man early at 10,
I slept with your man too.
- How dare you, old bluffer!
- If you've guts to show me your man,
- I'll have the guts to court him.
- I want to squeeze you to death.
You have guts to squeeze me,
I have guts to enjoy it.
I...
Damn you.
What is this word?
Isn't it "Smart"?
It's "Smart"...
Damn it, it's "Shame".
You started to seduce man at 7,
now you are 40 something.
Don't you feel shame?
You'd better go to hell.
What have you achieved
in your life?
I've trained 4 famous hookers,
they are the top once in the capital.
Right,
but they are now under me.
Haven't they told you?
You are old and you have no money.
Even your girls let you,
you should suicide.
You are stupid, even you become a ghost,
you'll be a stupid ghost.
You will become a shit-head
in your next life.
What does that mean?
Shit-head!
Do you want to quarrel with me?
Get lost!
Wonderful.
- I love you.
- Well... okay...
go to hell!
- What are you doing?
- Don't ask me,
don't you feel it?
Close your eyes first.
You still want to fool me like this?
I was terribly beaten.
I won't beat you, I just want
to chat with someone.
Why?
I feel lonely,
and I feel cold.
Is it that serious?
I always face those bastards,
I can't make friends with them.
I am bastard too.
No, you are not that bad.
That's right.
Hold me.
Do you need that?
I won't fool you.
I just want a man who is not
so disgusting to give me warmth.
No way?
Just take this as charity.
Alright.
Be frank, you have to give me
a red pocket.
Bastard, how dare you
court my girl?
- Do you want to quarrel with me?
- I don't want to quarrel with you.
I pay you living.
How dare you court my girl?
You heartless man.
She said it's boring to be hooker,
she is bored.
She just wants me
to comfort her.
You are hooker,
and is an old hooker.
Have you ever felt lonely
and cold?
Yes.
- None of your business.
- None of my business?
I'm working in a prostitute house,
I do want you to have happy life.
If you are not in good mood,
you will treat the clients badly.
The clients won't come if they are unhappy,
so this will be closed.
If this is closed,
I have to sleep on the road.
Isn't it my business?
How dare you answer back?
You will suffer!
Before my death, I will pack up
your bones for you.
Your son will have no ass.
You mean your son?
How long can you be that cocky?
Until you die.
- I...
- You are more beautiful if you don't make up.
You will live happily
if you die.
I will drive you mad anyway.
If I were a ghost, I would have
scared you to death.
How come this guy is so powerful...
in quarrelling?
- Are you alright?
- Get lost.
Kid, don't go if you have guts.
I will look for help
and quarrel with you.
I am waiting.
You...
Damn! Be careful of the days before
your death, you'll suffer terribly.
We heard you had a terrible quarrel
with Auntie San?
She even twisted her lips.
It was no big deal.
You're the "Sharp Tongue"
in the brothel now.
Someone comes
to challenge us again.
- How dare you!
- Let me handle it.
I'm working now.
If Yu Yin doesn't come
to serve me tonight,
I'll turn this place over
to find the criminal.
Impossible.
She doesn't sell her body.
I won't pay, that's OK.
- What are you doing?
- Panther is here!
Hide up.
There's a pond over there.
Sir.
Sir, don't do this.
I'll shout for help.
- I will shout for help.
- Go ahead!
Nobody will hear you.
Help! Help!
Beast.
Could you stop now.
The Duke is here.
He wants Yu Yin too.
- Really?
- Yes,
he brought a pale young man
with him.
There's someone.
Duke!
So this is Yu Yin.
No...
Kidding, she is so pretty,
but you said "No"?
No wonder,
she is the number one here.
Brother...
Have a chat.
- Come with me.
- Yes,
take your time.
Don't do this.
I'm going to scream.
Go ahead! It's useless.
- No.
- Beast.
There's a guest with Yu Yin.
Damn! I'm the Secretary for Home Affair,
who is going to stop me?
Please, Secretary for Home Affair.
He's here? If he catches me here,
he'll tell the queen,
I'll be in deep shit.
It's a pond out there.
Under the bed.
Please don't go in...
How dare you lie to me?
There's no one here.
You can have a bridge party now.
Can you handle it?
Don't worry.
Nice to meet you.
- What's your name?
- Ai-Shin-Chue-Luo.
Stop it! Or I'll scream.
Go ahead. It's useless.
How come men are all like this?
I'm getting bored.
Beast!
Have you ever played
the "animal chess"?
Elephant eats tiger, tiger eats cat,
cat eats rat, rat eats elephant!
Rat, you know what to do?
Who is it?
Sir, a great hero like you
indeed acts bravely in bed, too.
I'm here to learn your skill.
Bastard! Get out!
Sure, but I have a big mouth.
I just don't know
how to keep secrets.
So hundreds people might come
to admire you like I do.
They'll be your cheering team.
Here's the money! Get out.
I pay you, do it quickly.
I...
It's either you or me to leave.
You go. Alright, you go...
Help...
What's the matter?
You arranged some audiences here?
Like what I did. Come out.
Who are they?
They're the professionals
who do talk shows.
They will tell a new story
about you.
I'm sure the audiences
will love it.
Just forget me.
Only one?
We've four.
Alright, three more.
Thank you.
You were great!
Take it.
You are pretty smart.
Your Majesty.
- How do you know that?
- Forgive me please.
I found your royal underwear.
Please forgive me.
Maybe it was dropped
for I am being scared.
Your Majesty.
It's a secret that
I came to the brothel.
Whoever tells,
I'll kill all his family.
Your Majesty,
I have to ask for a favour.
If you don't help me,
I'll tell the secret.
I'd rather get killed.
How dare you threaten me?
Your Majesty,
why are you so interested in
viewing the flowers
at my home today.
I observed the weather...
to be quite abnormal lately.
I guess, there must be
some misjustice.
Your Majesty, everyone is having
a happy and stable life.
Is it?
Then why would someone
file a lawsuit?
Some villains are too bored
with their life.
Set up, it must be a set up.
But Pao seems to be decent.
Pao looks like a rat.
His father was well known
for his corruption.
Like father, like son.
He is corrupted too.
Right...
Is he that bad?
Sure.
He came here
to sue someone before?
Summon Pao Lung Sing.
Your Majesty.
Rise.
Did he come to sue someone?
Yes, Your Majesty.
He took bribes
and tried to frame my son.
But his boss was smart enough
to fire him.
He's still a wanted criminal.
How did Your Majesty
get to know him?
I have people bringing me news
from everywhere.
According to my information.
He even work as a pimp
in a brothel.
I'm sure Your Majesty
won't trust a pimp's words.
Unless you've been...
Bastard.
How could an Emperor
visit there?
Yes, yes.
I've never been a pimp.
I hide up to study.
I want to return
to fight for justice.
You've never been a pimp?
Bring Auntie San.
Luckily I've got
the secret information.
He would be dead meat.
This woman is the owner
of that brothel.
She'll identify Pao.
Yes, sir.
Is he the pimp
of your brothel?
No I've never met him.
What's wrong?
You've never seen pretty girls?
Step aside.
If he's not a pimp,
I can trust his words now.
Tell us about your case.
I used to be an alternate judge.
But I was bullied by my boss,
Chan Pak Cheung.
Who framed a poor woman.
She was pregnant and yet
she was sentenced to death.
I need a fair trial.
He's lying, anyway,
he's a criminal.
What was his crime?
He tried to interrupt
dead bodies.
No, I tried to investigate
the real cause of victims' death.
Because the death
was suspicious.
You both sound right.
What should I do?
Let's make a bet.
Here's an apple.
If you can stab into it
with this dagger.
I'll let the case retrial.
Please think about it.
If you miss, you'll be killed.
Your Majesty, stop considering.
It's difficult to make it
if we put it on the table.
Let's put it on my head.
Take care, Yours Majesty.
Take care of yourself.
You're really loyal to me.
I'll let you replace my position
to hold the apple.
Go ahead.
Ready? OK?
Your Majesty, I'd like to have
my eyes covered first.
You used to do it like this?
No, but the blood
will make me sick.
Alright.
Come on.
I think the victim
must be framed.
The case
should go to court again.
I don't mean to force you.
Not at all.
Justice comes first.
Pao, come forward.
You're now appointed
the Supreme Judge.
You'll go with the Secretary
and the Navy Commander,
to re-trial the case.
Panther, you'll guard
Pao's life forever.
You're appointed
as "Great Kung Fu Master".
Go now with Pao.
Thanks, Your Majesty.
What rank is the Supreme Judge?
First.
Great.
Mr. Pao wants to prove
Ms. Chi's innocence.
Fully support you.
Go to the brothel.
Great!
It is time to execute.
Keep the criminal
from death penalty.
Ignore him, to execute now!
The Majesty's order.
Keep her form death penalty.
Keep the criminal
into jail first.
The Supreme Judge Mr. Pao
will open the case again.
Pao... Mr. Pao...
Don't do business today.
Mr. Pao has re-open the case for Mrs. Chi.
Go and give him a hand.
Dad, I will re-establish
our reputation today.
- What's wrong?
- How come your face is so black?
Uncle wants to be tanned
so as to look like Pao Ching.
Is that your idea?
Uncle, how come
you're not tanned?
I had a mask with me,
I just need this mark.
How come you're so tanned?
I was trapped.
The murder case
of the Chi's family
will be re-trialed by
three departments.
The most superior judge
would be Pao Lung Sing.
And the Secretary
of the Judicial Department, Mr. Fa.
The Navy Commander, Mr. Shang
and me.
Keep silence in court.
Today, no one's allowed
to speak foul language.
You can't curse at each other's parents
or mention any sex organ.
I should be granted
special rights.
Alright, you can curse
at other's mother only.
Damn your mother.
Uncle, you'll win for sure.
Dessert.
He's nothing special,
except he uses a bigger desk.
We'll find a way to fight him.
Have a sip.
Don't worry,
Eunuch Lee supports us.
Try our best to beat him.
You'll get him.
- Your...
- What?
- Your Honour.
- What's wrong?
You shouldn't say so.
You shouldn't stare at me.
- What?
- You stared at me.
You stared at me first,
so you knew I was staring at you.
I can call you slut,
but you can't stare at me.
How dare you call me slut?
I'll report to His Majesty.
Slut. Slut. Slut.
You can't do this.
He's appointed by His Majesty.
Damn your mother.
You can't curse in court...
Damn your mother.
There's nothing to do
with any mother.
Damn your mom.
You are slut!
I'm here to re-trial the case.
I did not ask you to speak yet.
You've tried to offend
the Supreme Judge!
Tell me, are you slut?
You can't leave.
You claim yourself great?
Why did you step out?
What's your problem?
Do you want to play
some tricks?
I came with other people
for fun.
I just step out a bit.
Alright, I will step back.
Cut the crap, step back...
Stand behind the yellow line...
Stand...
So what?
So what?
Shit, I step forward again.
Shit, I step back again.
So what?
So what?
Are you going to beat me?
Alright.
You all heard that
he asked for it.
I've never seen any request
like this.
Sir, we should
question Chi first.
Mrs. Chi,
what do you have to say?
We'll be fair.
Sir, it's all
under your control.
My family was murdered
by Shang Wai,
and I was raped by him, too.
Summon Shang Wai.
Your Honours.
How did her family die?
She killed them.
Summon the drugs store keeper
and the coroner.
Your Honour.
Mr. Chu,
from your last statement,
Mrs. Chi bought arsenic
in your store, right?
Yes, Your Honour.
Coroner, and you testified
that the dessert was poisoned, right?
Yes, Your Honour.
Look, here's some sugar
and poison.
If we pour them in,
it'll be too sticky.
Do you think anyone would want
to eat this?
Maybe, the Chi's family
was too stupid.
Would you like to try some?
It's wonderful, drink it,
then you can fly.
Help...
You're stupid too, even you are not
willing to drink it.
Don't you think the dead
would be smarter than you?
Maybe she didn't use
all those arsenic.
So where did the rest go?
I've searched all over
and didn't see any.
If she didn't need that much.
Why would she buy that much?
So the truth is... you lied!
I didn't lie, Your Honour.
Really?
We stole this account book
from you.
Not many people buy arsenic.
And you only ordered
half a catty of arsenic.
And yet you said
you sold her a catty?
- Sir, I have a very bad memory.
- Bad memory?
How about a few months ago
when you testified?
You always have poor memory.
- Great Kung-fu Master.
- Yes, sir.
I asked you to examine the bodies,
and what was the result?
Please turn around.
Your honour, look.
Only the throats turned black.
According to my experience.
Some one must have poured poisonous
substance into their mouths.
So the poison didn't reach
the stomach.
Every body
had a serious fracture.
Their heads were
put back together with nails.
I think the murderer must be
an great master in Kung-fu.
Later,
someone wanted to cover it.
Shang Wai, did you hear it?
Sir, I have something to say.
He just said
the killer knows Kung-fu well.
But Mr. Shang
doesn't know any Kung-fu.
So, how can you prove him
to be the murderer?
Then why did we arrest him
in great effort?
I'm born to be strong.
Really?
- Serve him with great punishment.
- Yes.
If you don't resist,
you'll suffer from the penalties.
If you resist,
it means you know Kung-fu.
Eunuch Lee arrives.
God-father.
Your Excellency.
Buddy.
I come to hear the trial.
I brought something for Wai,
my God-son.
God-father.
Behave yourself.
If you commit any crime,
I'll punish you, too.
But if anyone wants to frame you...
I'll back you up.
Of course...
This is from the queen.
If you wear it, nobody is allowed
to hit you, except the Emperor.
No one is allowed to hurt you.
Your Honour...
Uncle, we can't beat him,
what'll we do?
How wise is he!
Maybe they were not
poisoned to death.
But Chi might have hired a killer
to murder them.
The time reporter also saw Wai
being beaten up, too.
We should punish Chi
to make her confess.
Prepare the penalty.
You're so smart.
I admire your flattering ability.
Mr. Pao, what do you mean?
Nothing serious,
I'll say something else...
- You...
- Don't mention my mom.
Who mentioned to punish Chi?
Mr. Pao, you don't have to distract
our attention.
Prepare for the punishment.
Yes.
Wait a moment.
Who is going to give order?
What?
Mr. Pao,
you're very bureaucratic.
If we let you get promoted
in future,
you won't even respect
the Empress Dowager.
Respect has a different meaning
to me.
I respect His Highness
from the bottom of my heart.
Unlike you who always talks
but not really respects her.
- You...
- You were not filial to your mother
by becoming an eunuch.
You're not loyal because you
don't respect the Empress Dowager.
So what would a damn sissy guy
sitting here for?
How dare you talk like this?
I'm the Supreme judge.
You're just a housekeeper
of the royal family.
I'm standing,
how dare you sit there?
I must teach you
about manners.
OK, I'll report to His Majesty,
and kill your...
Damn your father.
Go ahead if you think
you can walk out of here.
Shut the door!
Release the dogs.
Mr. Pao...
I can handle this by myself.
Let's come back to the trial.
Alright. Ass-hole.
- Who do you mean?
- Whoever answers me.
You bastard. I'll ignore you.
You're maniac.
Damn you.
Go to hell...
Sissy ass-hole.
Master, Mr. Pao hold the time
for us to threaten the witness.
- Yes.
- Go.
Yes,
Isn't that the coroner?
How come he's beaten up like this?
He made a false testimony.
He took bribery
and he framed that victim.
So Pao beaten him up like this.
The drugs store keeper Chu Yee,
was cut into two halves by Pao.
It hurts.
Help...
What are you doing?
I can't walk.
I can't move.
Don't even think telling lies.
Don't come close.
Help me. It is very painful.
What are you doing?
Go away, help...
What are you doing
down there?
I want to write
the word "miserable".
I can't read.
Don't bother me.
I'm over.
It's your turn.
You have a rat face,
eagle nose, elephant ears...
yellow teeth, pig legs,
big mouth...
beary waist, and chicken chest.
If I were you, I would have
committed suicide already.
I...
Bravo! You took off your pants
before going to sleep.
The marks of ass
are all over your body.
Damn you...
Your Excellency, are you alright?
Come and take a seat.
Go to hell.
Why don't you punish her?
You've messed up for ages.
Are you delaying on purpose?
Of course not. Go on.
Summon Loi Fook
and the gynaecologist.
Your honour,
we're willing to tell the truth.
One by one,
let's question Mrs. Chi first.
It's not your turn yet.
Punish Chi first.
- I feel great pain.
- Are you pretending?
It hurts. My baby is coming out.
She's acting. Let's just go ahead
to punish her.
Come on.
Wait, let's ask
the gynaecologist's opinion.
She'll know it after a check.
It Hurts.
Sir, her baby is coming out.
What would you say?
I'm not the judge.
You'll decide it.
Let's vote. If you think she should be
punished now, hands up.
Three to one! Punish her!
No way.
Everybody can vote here.
Hands up if you think she should
have her baby laboured first.
Let she delivers the baby...
let she delivers.
Let she delivers...
let she delivers.
Let she delivers...
let she delivers... let she delivers
What would you say?
We can't offend the public.
Let her have
her baby laboured first.
Alright, Chi is permitted to have
her baby laboured first.
It hurts.
There was something wrong
with your testimony.
I'll give you another chance
to tell the truth.
What did you really see
on that day?
I...
I saw Shang Wai
beating Loi Fook.
So the dog attacked Shang Wai.
But Shang
kicked the dog to death.
Loi Fook got away
and I tried to escape, too.
But Shang kicked me hard,
and I fainted.
Why didn't you say this
last time?
Because Mr. Fong gave me 500 taels
to make a false testimony.
Your honour,
please don't kill me.
Mind your tongue.
You mean everybody is lying?
Loi Fook, what did you see
on that night?
I forgot.
Did you commit adultery
with Chi?
Did she ask you
to murder the whole family?
No, I only had an affair
with her.
You said Chi
was very fond of you.
She even wrote you
a love poem, right?
- Yes.
- Bring him the love poem.
Could you read it once again?
We are two of a kind.
Our love will last forever.
There're few words missing,
right?
The is another poem, idiot.
What character is this?
Damn it. You can't even read
the word "Dead"!
Kill him.
How dare you frame her up?
Men, kill him now.
No, Your Honour, I am framed.
Fong gave me 5,000 tales
so as to frame Chi.
I still have 3,000 taels
at home.
Bastard.
How dare you to betray me?
You did commit adultery.
Kill him, sir.
I have evidence.
I can never have
any affair with Chi.
I'll show you.
Show us then.
I was born in a poor family,
so I castrated myself.
I wanted to be an eunuch,
but I didn't have money
to bribe the eunuch, so I failed.
Then I went to work
for the Chi's family.
So I can't have any sex.
Another damn eunuch.
I don't mean you.
Alright.
Let's dismiss Fong's title first.
Then we'll trial him later.
What do you think?
Sure, whatever you say.
Fong!
You'd better tell the truth.
I'll consider a slight punishment
if you turn to be stained witness.
Fong and Loi Fook
are guilty of bribery
so they should be
chopped to death.
You're so vicious.
How are you. Slap him.
Uncle,
they were seriously hurt.
So we don't have
any witness now.
My son, I've brought
the Royal Sword to you.
Mom, you...
Grandma, stop playing,
we are busy.
Take the salted fish away.
This is not salted fish,
it's real.
Royal Sword?
Uncle, make sure of it, may be...
What is it?
It's really a Royal Sword.
Shang Wai, don't you think
I couldn't beat you up?
In front of me,
you could never tell lies.
I will chop your fingers off
with my sword.
Are you going to confess now?
Ass-hole, get lost.
My Sword is authorized to kill
corrupted king and nasty official.
I don't want to hurt you.
Since the reign of Ching Dynasty,
I've never heard of Royal Sword.
What is this?
This is not common stuff,
you don't know it of course.
Grandma, tell them! Which Emperor
granted this to our family?
This is granted by Emperor Sung-ching
of Ming Dynasty.
Ming Dynasty?
You used Ming's sword to crop
the official of Ching Dynasty?
You mean a rebellion?
In fact...
the atmosphere is too tense,
my mom and I just want to do
something to give you fun.
Don't you mind this?
If you swallow it,
I will take this as fun.
Well, I will do it.
Thank you, thank you.
Now, it's alright.
Back to the trial.
Forget the things
that just happened.
If you don't show any evidence
to accuse Shang Wai,
you have to adjourn.
Then Wai will be acquitted.
Hey, the baby is born,
congratulations.
Stop messing up,
decide it now.
Well, we have no choice but...
test it with blood.
Blood test?
Right.
Scare him first.
Shang Wai, you said you
didn't rape the accused.
So her baby must have nothing
to do with you.
So, your blood can't be matched
with its blood.
If you take the blood test,
you've a chance to proof you're innocent.
If you don't take the test,
you must be the murderer.
Let's test.
I scare nothing.
It's matched,
you must be the murderer.
You'd have raped her and then killed
her family. You'd not deny.
Men, prepare the guillotine.
Impossible...
God-father, the kid is not mine.
It is not mine. Godfather...
- You have to help me...
- I am here,
don't panic.
If you were not the adultery,
why the blood matches each other?
That must be your kid,
you can never explain.
He is not my kid.
I screwed her that night,
how can she get pregnant
on the next day?
Oh, you screwed her!
You beast,
how dare you cheat me?
Are you happy?
Here is the truth.
I won't take care of you.
Please give way.
Mister, how are you?
Honey, why are you here?
It's you and father-in-law
who asked me to come.
That's my son?
You mean, he is my son?
You bastard!
How dare you trick me?
So what?
Stop talking to him.
Shut the door
and let the dogs out.
I won't care about you,
I am leaving.
Godfather...
Don't come over.
Bastard, do you want to rebel?
You said you didn't know kung-fu,
now you confess again.
Don't come over here,
otherwise I kill him.
Eunuch Li, thank you
for sacrificing yourself.
I will report to His Majesty
and give you a great funeral.
Open the door, let the dogs out.
Panther, throw him here.
Sir, it's me.
I've seen it,
go out and fight again.
Great Kung-fu master.
You dragged me to death.
Do you believe
I would kick you to death?
Please, would you don't swing
the car?
I will have car sickness.
Congratulations...
Thank you.
I am no longer official.
Why do you open a drugs store
and quit your post?
I can't explain to you
for you are too stupid.
Look at your sister and Yu Yin.
Honey.
Be careful, have a kiss.
Mrs. Pao.
I've given Mr. Pao
the hereditary nostrum.
After taking the medicine,
he was capable to have two sons.
Now he is going to use this
in business.
From India.
Mr. Pao.
I could have such great achievements,
is all because of His Majesty.
I miss him so much.
Luckily, I have his underwear
as my collection.
I feel great after smelling it.
It gives me strength.
It's of good taste too.
Don't miss it.
Prince Tin has arrived.
Welcome, welcome.
Mr. Pao, I could send you
some congratulations.
But I've to tell you bad news.
His Majesty passed away.
His Majesty...
What's wrong with it?
Why?
- Sickness.
- What sickness?
It is...
Syphilis!