Hadi Insallah (2014) - full transcript

PuCCa is a broadcaster. When she applies for a new job, she meets a man.

foodval.com - stop by if you're interested in the nutritional composition of food
No, I'm not the one who is kissing.

I'm this one.

The one who's been dumped.

I was supposed to live through so much
and get into adventures...

What a big surprise!

Hug her! You, hug him back!

Even propose right at the bus terminal.

You’ve got to be kidding me!

Are you doing this to spite me?

My guy from Ankara.
My guy from Ankara is here.

My first love, black-browed...

Miss, have a seat.


Didn't you forget something?
I couldn't leave you like this.

We promised each other.

He's going down on his knees,
he's going to propose.

You promised to pay
half of the internet bill.

You thought you could escape, sneaky?

128 liras.

If you don't trust me,
you can see with your own eyes.

Did you come here for this?

Did you come here for this?

Of course, it's not only this.

What else?

To send blockhead Mahmut off to
his military service.



I'll show you "auntie"!

God damn you!

You are such an animal!
Take this and accept it as charity.

-20, 30, 50, 55.
-Are you counting?

Take this, you can eat gözleme.

I don't want to stop
the national belly movement.

Last call for İzmir passengers!

He's even dancing.

Let me go!


My dear hometown.

My İzmir.

There's no place like home.

This is the street that I grew up in.

I confessed my love
for the first time on that corner.

-Let's get married.
-Boys can't marry boys.

I'm not a boy. I'm a girl, OK?

Here, my dad caught me in the act
with a boy, for the first time.

Sorry, do you have change?


How dare you walk around with your lover?

You think I'm only enough for a dope head?

Take this, and leave here right away.

Thanks, man.

See how he left you
when he got some money?

Ugh, Dad!

I still feel embarrassed.

And here is the place where my boyfriend
dropped me home for the first time.

Is this what you call stealing
your old man's car for a ride?

Look here!
How much is one kilo of tomatoes?

How much is one kilo of tomatoes? God!

You scared her off!

Shoes? Unless...

My dad is dead!

Open the door!
I want to see him for the last time!


-Auntie, my dad is dead!
-Honey, you're home!

-Why didn't you tell me? I loved him.
-Shut your mouth.

-He was my dad!
-Shut up! God forbid!

Why would he be dead, you maniac?

-There are shoes here.
-We're having fun with the girls.

Thank God. Nothing can kill me now.

Except for that. You're like 700 pounds.

-Where's your luggage?
-Hey, hey!


I've missed you!

-Auntie? What is that?
-She is wearing a scarf now.

I'd say you're beautiful,
but since I've just returned from hajj,

it's not appropriate for me to lie.

May Allah accept, Hadji Şenay.
What can I say?

-You went to school in Ankara.
-Don't eat!

Don't you have a boyfriend?

I did have one, but...

You ate him as well, piggy?

Leave her alone!
Why did you guys break up?

Our relationship...

...wasn't so good.
So we agreed to break up.

Since you agreed on something,
why did you break up?


Did he cheat on you?

With my best friend.

How so? With Faruk?

-Did he turn gay because of you?

Not at all!

He went to some Russian girls.
Faruk confessed to me.

-Oh, what a drama!

It's like a soap opera.
Play us something on Sputify.

It's not Sputify, it's Spotify.

-Overlock machine is here. That's it.
-Let's go.


Your skirts should be a bit longer.

Şenay, sorry,
but you were wearing miniskirts yourself.

And you shouldn't leave the bread
on the floor!

Why can't I go to fortuneteller cafés?

It's not that, honey,
but why go as a fortuneteller?

But I made 60 liras in one hour.

Is it that profitable?

Hi. And you're running from the police!

Are you a beggar?

Why didn't you surrender?
Who will rescue you from me?


My sister.

Pucca is here!

-Sister! Welcome!
-I've missed you so much!

My dear girl.

Tell me something, Dad.

Tell me something, and set me free.

Give me a cigarette.

Dad, I don't smoke.

-I was testing you.
-I'll prepare us some coffee.

You can't tell fortunes until tonight, OK?

-Did you finish your school?

And you were planning on getting married?

Not anymore.

And I'm done with you.

Come work with me.

Attention ladies.

Overlock machine is here.

We can overlock your
carpets, rugs, door mats.


No way, Dad. I have a degree.
I'll practice my profession.

Do you have a job?

What happened to not being a pushy father?

I'm depressed now. What if I run away?

What if I end up being kidnapped
by the bad guys

and was forced to beg
after they cut my limbs off?

What if I get hit by a car,
And an ambulance doesn't come?

What am I talking about?

No, I'm not good at all.

I'm terrible, Dad.

I really was terrible.


First, I needed to overcome
some syndromes.

What is that?

It's chocolate.

Why don't you call me? Call me!


You can't get away with it
Believe in karma


-How are you, honey?
-What have you done?

Enough of this depression!
I'm going to meet some new guy.

Where did you meet him? When?

On a Facebook group, "Why are we alone
when even butts have two cheeks."

See his nickname? Satisfactor1907.

Whoa! He is just for you.
Maybe it was his grandfather's name.

What is that?

-She's meeting someone from the internet.

They'll steal your kidney! God forbid!

-We're coming too, for some fresh air.

-Don't screw this up!
-No way.

We're going to rock!


-Where were you?
-I was dancing over there.

Where is this Satisfactor of yours?

-I brought my pepper spray for nothing?
-Don't ask about it! He was 12 years old.


he can only satisfy himself.

Oh, he's so cute!


-Keep it low. This guy...

I said, "Keep it low!"
This guy over there is checking you out.

Where? Which one?

Wow, what kind of look is that?
He's going to eat you up.

Is he looking at me or you?
I can't tell because of the glasses.

He's looking at me!

He's pretending that nut is me,
I can feel it.

Look, this time, play hard to get.
Don't do anything stupid!

I won't. I'm going to meet him now.


Oh, you men...

You check women out all night long
as if you're watching a derby,

but you don't attempt to do anything.

Am I right?

Yes, you're right. I love your voice.

-I love your voice.

What else?

What are you doing? Hey! What...

Do this.

Your lips are very nice. Fleshy.

What about your eyes?

Very nice! Let me see.

I got screwed!

They say the blind keep the one they find.
You can't go anywhere!

I'm not going.
I'm going to freshen up and come back.

Fuck that! I can't see make up.

I'm not doing it for you.
I'm doing it for myself.

Shove those lips back in!

Where are you going?

-What happened?
-Let's go, quick!

-I'll tell you, come on!

Are you leaving?

Because I'm blind, right?

-Because I'm blind.
-How can you say that?

-Hello, auntie.

You can't treat a disabled person
like that, heartless!

-He's a pervert!

Let's be perverts!

Please, help me!

Give me that.

I've never seen a bill like that.

-Very good one!
-He said, "I've never seen!"

You're hilarious!

-Because I'm blind...
-I'll pay it. I put the money...

It fell. I apologize.

How could you treat 200 liras so badly?

-He said, "200."

I see you stopped being blind now.

You bastard! You fraud!


They're beating up a blind man! Stop!

I became blind!

Did you put on my shoes?
Give me back my shoes!

Give me back my shoes!
When did you put them on?

Please wait for a second.

-What's happening over here?

Send me to a retirement home.

Leave me there.

So that I can die there.

Brother, I won't leave you.

Don't be afraid, we'll grow old together.

I'm afraid of that.

You don't have a job.
You don't consider marrying.

Please go and leave me alone.

How old am I?
I'm starting to get offended.

I want you to get offended.

Maybe then you can fix yourself.

And you...

Don't say a word.

I didn't say anything.

What can you say anyway?

What can you say to me?


We've talked.
She's going to find a job and get married.

She's going to be the girl you want.

We've talked. Right?

We didn't talk. When did we talk?

You really are an idiot!

Brother, dump her!

I've found you a job.

-You know Ahmet's sister?

-Because he has a brother.


Ahmet's brother knows someone named Hasan.

He's going to fix a job interview for her.

I hope they'll accept her.

I bet whoever takes me will be happy.



Why didn't you fix that PA?
It's been broken since forever.

I don’t hear it anyway. I'm happy as I am.


-Are you excited?

Wait a second.

Are you excited?

It's a job, after all.

If I had to choose
between money and career,

I would choose love.


Can I talk to you honestly?

Sure, dad you can talk to me anytime.

You're a complete moron!

You used to say that I take after you,
not Mom. I got you!

It's here.

Watch it. Watch now.

Girl! Seda!

See? They didn't shoot you!


I thought that they shoot horses
when they break a leg.

-Take a week off.
-Get lost, pervert!

See you next week, babe!

Why are you laughing, horny? Go! Now!

Sorry, sir. We were looking for Hasan.


Why are you looking for him?

Did he disturb anyone?

Do you want to beat him?

He was going to help my daughter
find a job.


I'm Hasan. Just what are you looking for.

Where's the girl?

Where is she?

-She's here.

-Praise be 23 times!
-The idiom is "41 times".

23 is enough for you. Look at her face!
Come here, Minnie Mouse.

-What are you doing?
-Come with me.

-I'm taking you to the manager.
-Get your hands off.

I insulted you in front of your father,

so that you can stay at my place
whenever you want.

I'd rather become a spinster.


There's a girl.
She applied to be a reporter.

She's incredible. She's so clever.

I'm a guarantor for her,
from her neck to heels!

Then get rid of her.

I've never seen a bigger liar than you.

-If I could,

I would fire you now
if it weren't for your compensation.

Call her.

I did the pre-talk.

I made a wonderful start.
It's up to you, now.



Hello. Welcome.

It makes you sweat.

-You see the channel's current state.

Faux leather! Look!

My ass is on fire!

-Get better soon.
-This is the better version.

Do you want to talk about
working conditions?

-Any insurance?
-Do you want some?

-Who doesn't?
-We don't.

-Shuttle service?
-We have self service.

-What type?

-I don't mind.
-We have none.

-Any chance of promotion?
-You have a chance!

-Our secretary, Mücella.

She seduced the boss,
she's the advertising executive now.

I heard that they're going to marry,
but I don't think so.

She's already married.
Do you have any other questions?

I've a little question.

Are you kidding me?

We're very serious here.
What are you saying?

I say, you know the security belt
of the astronaut

who tightens the bolt of the satellite
whose frequency this channel uses?

Shove that up your ass!

This channel can drown in its own filth.

And you say you're serious!

I was escorted here by a pervert.

The migratory birds would migrate
to the other world if they saw him.

No insurance! No salary! No food!
What is there?

I was going to say all of that.

If I hadn't seen him.


The love of my life.

Did you eat another human being or what?
What a beauty!

Father of my children.

Groom of my father.

-We can make money with carpet business.
-My dear son!

Uncle of my nephews.

Nephews! Chicken is ready!

Grandfather of my grandchildren.

Pucca! Look who's here.

Everything that I want,
that I'm looking for

was coming to me.

Darling, are you going to stay there?

I hope so, darling.

-Is she the new reporter?
-We're waiting for an answer.

Do you want to say anything?

What can I say or want?

Thank you for everything.
You're creating employment.

There's no such thing as unemployment.
Everybody wants a desk job.


Vocational high schools are done.

They're rotten! Students are gambling now.

That's right! There you go!

What are you talking about?

You know...

Are you accepting?

Here's your meal ticket for 100 liras.

-You're going to starve.
-Let me take it.

We've a 10-day trial period.
What do you say?

Of course, you have to try. Sure!

It's the modern times now.

-How can you trust me?

Maybe I'm a burglar, a pervert, a robber?

Try me and see me! Maybe I'm a psycho!


Please, make me coffee!

-Anything to eat?
-No, only coffee. Quick!

I've found a hot guy.

You need to tell my fortune!
I'll search his profile.

-How was the interview?
-I've fallen in love!

-We sent you for a job.
-It's done.

Look at him!

-Let me see.
-Am I right?

He's cute.

Imagine him hugging me with these arms.

Imagine this for a second.

I can crawl for him.

He can smash and beat me,

tear my clothes off...

-Can't he?
-Sister, does he have a brother?

Give me.

Let's see what's in my fortune.

It's ready.


-It's too big.
-Watch it.

I won't bother with this.

Neither would he.

-There's a friend request.
-Show me.

See, he’d look at you!

Look at him! What is this?
Was he smitten or what?

Block him! Computer is locked!

I'm shivering. Shut this down!

-Shut it down!
-Look at his t-shirt!

Let's see!

I'm annoyed. Go back to my love.

My love!

-Let me see. Does he have a brother?

-He's mine.

How do I look?


You should show your personality.

-You think so?
-Yes, my love! Your personality is great!

When you were little,
everybody appreciated that.

I'm beautiful.

-Pull your belly in!
-Should we show this?


That's how it is, girls.

I'm going to come, too.

You can't come.

We're expecting heat and humidity
in the Aegean region next week.

We'll feel the humidity more,

with the low-pressure
coming from the south.

We need to warn our audience. Please...

Where is he?
I can barely breathe out of my ass.




Who's that slut?

Is it yours?

No, it isn't.

Thank you. I was looking for it.

You are the new reporter, right?

Yes! How did you hear?

Is everybody talking about "the new girl"?

No, I heard it by chance.

Can I trust you?


Who's she?

That's Miss Slut.

Ah, you're new in town.
She's the face of our channel.

She's reporting the news with Pekmez.

What? I hope they're not lovers.


I think they're fuck buddies.

We've just met.

I don't want to gossip
about my coworker, but...

Tell me.

-She's such a slut!
-Go, Red!

We'll be friends. Continue.

I heard that she snatched him.


-She might have spellbound him.

She got a poor girl fired
because she texted to Pekmez.

-No fucking way!
-Yes fucking way!

I think Pekmez deserves a better girl.

I think so too.

-Don't be silly...
-Look at her. She's taking him.

Where to?

It's lunch time.

Follow me.


Don't forget that
we're taking your mom to dinner

and you're wearing your gray suit.

There's a hotel opening in Alaçatı,
we have to go there.

We need to be seen as a couple
in that type of place.

That girl! She's hilariously funny!

-Let me invite her here.
-Who is she?

-The waiter?
-Why are you inviting her?

He's inviting me.

-What a coincidence!

-May I sit?
-Sure, please sit.

Here, your double meatball bread.

It's not mine.

-Yeah? Here.
-No, it's not mine.

-It may be hers.

-No way. It's not mine!

-I'm vegetarian.
-Can't you eat it for me?

It's not mine but... Let's not waste it.

How come? You ordered double.

No, I didn't say that.

You asked if it's goat meat.

No, I didn't say that. Really.

You also said that
you can't feel full without bread.

-God damn...
-And here's your sauce.

Don't be cheap.


It smells beautiful. I have to eat now.

I love people who are comfortable
in their own skin.

I can't remember the last time
I ate something like that.

So, Pucca, you're a reporter now.
What's your plan?

Wish to be an anchorman?
Don't take our jobs.


No such plans.

You're right, we both need to leave

if she's going to take our place.

-She can barely fit.
-Are you the channel joker or what?

I thought you were only a commentator.

Pekmez, should we go now?
The broadcast is soon.


-Check please!

...you eat in a way that I envy.

Have some. You're a boy, boys eat.

Keep back!

What are you doing?

Was it really my fault?

Give me the salt.

Let me put... I can't do with this.

-No need.
-It's also good for evil eye.

-There's a spare. Thanks.
-Here's the bill.

Let me handle this. I caused an accident.

Please. I have to pay this!


Please... I...

Do I have to pay now?

Just this time. Thank you very much.

Not a problem at all.
You didn't even eat anything.

We asked for the check,
but you gave the passcode of your Wi-Fi.

Take this and go!

Since I paid for them,

none goes to waste.

But no more.

I won't eat these anymore.

And I won't let that slut take my Pekmez.


Mümü, I thought it'd look great on you.

Dear, it's beautiful.
See, it's just my style.

Thank you very much, dear.

Was that necessary?

But it's elegant.

I think we should go to Milan together.

You should see its boutiques, Mümü.

Unless, of course,
this gentleman is a deal breaker.

You're on your phone again.
She's saying something.

-Sorry, I was checking the agenda.
-I was saying…

are we all going on a holiday together?

Sure. If nothing goes wrong...


No need to worry.

Look how handsome he is!

I'd die for you.

Idiot! I don't like you!

I'll save my prince from this evil witch!
You'll see! Go!

You don't have a chance!
Mercury is in retrograde.

Screw Mercury! Look!

I think he doesn't like her.
He never looks at her.

He looked now, but it's for work.

He's so cute!

But this idiot...

I say, I should go to him and say,

"I'm dying for you. I'd do anything
for you. Oh babe." What do you say?

My Gosh! Did they drop you
a lot when you were little?

I did a few times, but some others
might have dropped you as well.

Do you think the same?

This is the most ridiculous plan
I've heard.

Like you're 110 years old. How many
plans have you heard in your life?

Auntie! Tell me what to do!

Come here.

Women don't do anything directly.

We plan in depth and we think ahead.

This slut is...

She's a girl for fun.
Short term investment.

But you're a marriage type girl.

Like a plot of land.

-Long term investment.
-Very good!

Speaking from experience.

Here's the plan:

All men love women who can cook.

First, we'll show him
how talented you are.


We'll fix something.

Where were you?


I'm here. Where is Pekmez?

Where is he, really? Let me call him.

-Call him, please.
-Are you insane?

He's the anchorman of the channel.
Will he teach you your job?

Good God!

But I even cooked dolma for lunch break.

-Dolma? Who wants your dolma anyway?


Speaking of food...

Take this.

Where are we going?

Where do you want to go?


As if you know five languages. God!

To Turkey!

-Why Turkey?

-Hi. Welcome.

Let me put this here.

It fell.

Three, two, one. Action!

Ladies and gentlemen,

here we're at the International
Golden Ladle Cooking Competition...

...being held for the seventh time.

In this contest, where all the cuisines
are competing with each other,

our famous chef
Rüstem competes for our country.

What are you going to say about
the contest, Rüstem? Are you ambitious?

-Right to the end!
-Way to go, Rüstem!

We'll show the greatness of
Turkish cuisine to the whole world!

That's the man!

Tell us more about...

-Ask him!

Tell us...

How are your opponents? What do you say?


There is no way for the Japanese to win!
They can't even cook fish!

They pawn bugs off on people as food.

These bastards even eat puppies!

Rüstem, those are the Chinese.

I don't know, they're all the same.
Japanese, Chinese, Eskişehir people...

-He means Tatars.
-Please, have some.

Damn you!

Give them some mumbar too.

The judges love your meals. You're good!

-It's disgusting!
-What the fuck is that?

Foul language!

Who put these dolmas here?

-Well done!
-I didn't do it on purpose!

No! These are not mine!

No sarma! No alaka with me!

It's not important I think.

Have some mücver!

Who put these here?

I bet those fucking slit-eyed did this!

-It's a plot!
-It could be.

I'll stick those fish up your ass!

Be calm. You can try again next year.

What kind of a guest are they?
They're small anyway.

Rüstem, please don't.

We support world peace, Rüstem.
Please don't.

I will confess!


Don't shoot me! Shoot them!

What is this? How did I miss this?
I'd have gone there if I'd known.

Darling, look, the magazine is out.


Why sexy? We're reporting news.

Later, I'm watching something.

I'm dying from excitement here,

you're watching a moron
ruining the report.


If they're a sexy duo,
you can only be the two of clubs.

I'll shove
this pink nail polish down your throat,

you'll just shit pink for a week
like Candy Candy.

Don't rush, dear.
These things happen gradually.

-You'll be on the cover someday.

For a slimming ad, maybe.

How can you criticize me?

Rüstem lost the competition
because of your dolmas.

Who the hell is Rüstem?

Forget it

and tell me what to do.


Men seek a mother
to their children rather than a wife.

So, we'll show him that
you're a great candidate to be a mother.

It makes sense.

-I'll beat that slut with my motherhood.


That's my sister!

Pekmez, look at the beauty of this animal.
And then, this animal.

If the security guard saw us together,
he'd put me in there.

Nobody would visit me.
I'd be all alone there.

Hasanus sapiens.


-So you...

-You go.
-No, you.

I was going to say that...

So you came here to be a guardian for me.

Let's say supervisor rather than guardian.

OK, let's...

If you were the guardian,
I'd be OK for a life sentence.


Look how cute the baby elephant is.

Youngsters of every creature
are always cute.

If I knew it was going to be cute,
I'd give birth this second.

Sure. Who is the lucky elephant?

I didn't mean that. You got that.

Some women don't want to breastfeed
their baby to protect their breasts.

I'd breastfeed even if my breasts sagged
like my grandpa's wet black socks.

Your grandpa's what?

For example.

My breasts won't sag anyway.
You'd understand if you saw them.

-I got it. I'm happy for you.
-Thank you.

Look how cute it is!

You ate four packs already.
Do you want more peanuts?

Come here, sir.
Tell us about your baby elephant.

Let's shoot this. Take this.

Enough with your elephant!

-Take this, bro.


-The symbol of İzmir, our baby elephant...


İzmir is three years old, dear audience.

We came to its home...

I'm so sorry.

...İzmir Wild Park.

Its caretaker Sencer is here.

Sencer, what do you want to say
about İzmir the baby elephant?

They're difficult animals.

-Their nourishment is very important.

Interesting. How do you feed them?

-In fact, they're herbivorous.

But İzmir has a special condition.

Interesting! Pay attention!

He is allergic to peanuts.

-Fortunately people are sensitive.

And there're warnings.


What if people threw some?

Why would they throw? Are they nuts?

I know, they wouldn't.
But what if they just did...

Are they idiots?
There are warning signs everywhere.

No, there aren’t, but...

Maybe they fell in love.

Maybe because...

What happened to my İzmir?


It didn't die. It fainted.

-Did it die?

-But I didn't see it!

Somebody threw peanuts!

-It's not that!
-Heart attack!

-It's the heat.
-How we lost my grandpa.

Where is its heart?

Where is its heart?
I'm going to give it CPR.

God give me strength!

What are you laughing at? Please!

Plastic warp burns!

I don't believe we're here
on my only free day.

I didn't kill the elephant.

What did you want from it?
It came here all the way from Africa.

-It's from Asia.

Don't say that. It didn't die.

It can't use its trunk and
will be fed with a pipe, that's all.

Poor elephant without a trunk!

How could you do this to our İzmir,
you heartless woman!

It's Pekmez. What should I do?

Pekmez? No.
I read your fortune, you can't.

No way. Take it a little bit late.

-As if you're busy.

I took it by mistake. Yes?

Pucca, the mayor's father has passed away.

My condolences. Did you know him?

It's for the news.

The other reporter is ill, you need to go.

It's live.

Don't let me down. I trust you.

Me too.

Thank you, but...

I mean I'm on my way, I'm coming.

She can handle it.

You'll see, she's very clever.

Let's hope so.

What's that?

Your funeral outfit?

Are we going to evoke a 60's celebrity?
Look at you!

I dressed like this
because I respect this funeral.

Do you hear what you're saying?

Be in the mood for mourning and look sad.

Darling, why would I be sad?

He was 92 years old, a national gymnast.

He died on the night
of his fifth marriage.

I wonder what he did that night!

-His wife should be upset.

Take that and put it there.

-Is this OK?
-Good. Put it there.

Give me the water.

Dear guests, dear press members,

our ceremony will begin in 10 minutes
after the body comes. Thank you.

-We have time.
-It's better.

Let me check the sound.

Take the microphone.

Speak into it.

Death... is painful.

But at least you're fine.

Can you check the sound again?

Let me check the cables. Wait a minute.

Whoa, Hasan! Get out of there.

Look at him!
If he cut onions, the onions would cry.

-How do you think of these?
-You know...

You know what, he was 92 years old,
and they say his death was a surprise.

Him living until 92 is the real surprise!

Let me tell you something.

Even his memories are black and white!

-No, Inkwell!

No, Earlybird!

He was so old that
even the Godfather called him father.

He opened the doors to Anatolia himself
after the Battle of Manzikert!

-Come here.
-What's going on?

There is a scene at the funeral.
Someone is babbling.

This is the real deal. Where are the kids?

And he died on his wedding night.

While his peers die peacefully
in their summer homes,

he dies in a bridal chamber.

-What is that?

He actually wanted to be
with women older than him.

-But there is no such woman!


-So funny!
-I don't see action at this age,

if he managed to do it,
he must have died peacefully.

If not, at least he tried.

This sound is familiar.

I'm as sure as I know my name is Pucca
that his cause of death

was a pile of sex pills.



Pucca? Pucca who? Ours?

Call her now!

Look at him!

It makes you allergic to pudding.

That was funny!

And he was in
the national gymnastics team.

She doesn't answer. We are so dead!

Was he a gymnast for the Allies or what?

Shut your mouth already!
Stop with the endless jokes!

I just got that!



14 missed calls.


Pekmez called me.

He's fine and all, but he's like a girl.

He panics for everything.

I don't know what the deal is.

The Mayor is here!

Mi-mi-microphone show!

-Now we’re screwed!
-Yeah, totally.

Mr. Mayor.

I told you not to send her.
She is going to ruin everything.

Yes, you did!
I gave my trust to the wrong person.

I’m disappointed. What can I say?

I hope the channel won't be closed.
There, she is leaving!

Don't be sad.

You'll find another job.

You're something else.

Look, I know lots of guys.

I'll find you a job.

Let me put this on you.

Don't you worry.

OK. OK, let me go.

OK! Enough!


Don't be sad.

I'll call and talk to you about Pekmez.

Forget about him.

Here, take this.

Wash it before using it.

-And you take this.

Then, I'll just...


Don't mess with me!


We'll talk about this later!

The incident at the funeral of
the Mayor's father has marked the day.

We now go live to the Mayor
for a statement.

I need to make a statement
after today's scandal.

My late father was very humorous, joyful.

He used to tell jokes
and make everybody laugh.

He wouldn't want us to cry over his death.

But I guess he wouldn't think
people would laugh that hard.

I thank those people who helped us
to say goodbye to him accordingly.

I'll give a special interview to her soon.

Yes! That's it!

-Can we take a picture?

I have a call.


Oh, God!


I knew you were going to be a legend!

Come back to your desk!

What? You’ll have me back?

The legend has come back!
And you are permanent now.

Thank you very much!

Especially since now Red is permanent
as well, that means the world to us!



Means the world?

-Yes, it does!
-I think it does.

Look, who is here.

-Hello, I can't recognize your voice

You don't, huh?

Did you forget me now?

I remember you, you are Pekmez.

Thank you for not disappointing me.

Maybe in a slightly different way,
but it's OK.

Whatever floats your boat.

Let's celebrate this.
Let me take you to dinner.

He wants to take me to dinner.

But today is my father's birthday.

Would you like to join us?

At your father's birthday?

OK. Text me the address. See you tonight.

Yes! Pekmez is coming to us!

No! Pekmez is coming to us!

I need to go.

I don't know, Auntie.
I got very excited and invited him over.

Even in the fairytale,
Cinderella goes to the Prince's ball.

But I invite him to my backyard,
like an idiot.

Don't you think that sounds
a little bit immature?

I have to worry about immaturity now, too?

As if everything else is so perfect!

Why this fuss? We'll take care of it.

-What about that burnt dolma?
-Flip them over.

Flip them.

...and delivered soon.

Here is the birthday boy!

We're not ready yet!

He won't touch anything.
He'll just sit here.

We'll take care of it until Pekmez comes.

How can I flip them over?

Fork goes to right or left?


What's with the table?

Where are the napkins?
Hurry up! We're running out of time.

I wonder if it's a special day today.

Honey, answer me.

Why have you prepared the table?
Is it a special day?

Or are you planning a surprise for me?

There's no surprise.

Pucca's friend from work
will come for dinner.

A male friend.

Why did you say that now?

Dad, excuse me. It's nothing.
The table is for your birthday.

Fuck the birthday! This's more important.
We need to rearrange the table.

What is that?
You can't eat chicken on a hot day!

Take this away!

Are you going to poison him?
And no bulgur!

He'll be full without eating anything.
And the dolma and börek?

Take these away!

-Do we have fish?

I'll go get some fish.

I'll cook fish in the oven.

And you wear a decent dress.

What is wrong with this one?

Dress all in white like a bridal gown
so that he can think about that stuff.

-What do we do?
-You're good.

Stay ugly
so that she looks like something.


-Don't laugh or I'll kill you.

Let's go.

Dad! What do you think?

How is it?

Very beautiful!


Go away.

He is here!

What? Don't open the door.

I'm not finished yet!

Flowers! For me?

For your father.

-For my father?
-Today is his birthday.

Oh, it's his birthday.
We didn't get any presents.

Who is here? Come in!
Keep your shoes on, please.

Let's hope.

Let me introduce you. My aunt.

-Really? You look so young!
-How young?

Excuse me?

I mean, how young do I look like?

How old am I? Guess.

38 or so.

You're just a cutie pie!

I'm 40 years old!

Can you believe that?

I can't! Really, I can't!

-Praise be.
-Praise yourself!

That’s my sister.


Do I know you?

I'm a newsman. Maybe you saw me on TV.

No, I don't watch news. Are you
a regular of Göztepe Playstation Café?

Playstation Café?

You know, youngsters gather
and destroy each other's asses on FIFA.

They bet on the bills,
they fight and so on.

It's nice, I go there sometimes.

-Destroy asses?
-Or lives.

Let me take these. Take your jacket off.

Please, make yourself comfortable.

He's such a gentlemen.

-My dad.
-Hello, sir.


Thank you.

Stay humble, son.

Stay humble how?

No, he's just confused.

-You go have a seat.

My daughters prepared
a surprise party today.

I know, sir. Happy birthday.

Thanks, son.


Son, you're very handsome
and yet you're at our home.

Are you mentally challenged?


What are you doing?

Honey, it doesn't take a scientist
to know he's godlike.

He must have a mental problem.

-Would you like to drink something?

-Come here.
-There is a way to drink rakı.

You need to treat it like a lover.

You need to get together regularly.

You should drink it like you're kissing.

It was 1998.

She was seven years old or so.

The Municipality organized
a mass circumcision feast.

I had trouble convincing them
she's a girl.

She was almost going to be circumcised.

I got screwed bad.

Come on, honey. Let's drink!

-OK, then...

You know what?

Look, since you're a famous person,

-you must know Fedon.
-Don't tell that!

-The tanned one!

-We flirted some time ago.

He was crazy about me,
but he got scared away.

Here are the fish!

Do you have an older brother?
Younger brother?

What about your dad? You have great genes!


Listen to me.

Son, listen to me!

Do you know
what the secret of overlock is?

The customer is always “rug”.

Oh, brother!

-Slip of the tongue.

I'm going to kiss him, really!

I like him like he's my son.

Come here. Let me kiss you.

What happened? The lights...

It's dark. I can't see anything.

I went blind. The Rakı was fake.

Happy birthday, happy birthday

Happy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear Dad

Oh, nice!


Play some music.

I'll play some music now.

He likes music a lot.

-Why don't you take a picture?



We're so cute.

I don't have any pictures with Pekmez.

-Let's take one.
-I want to be in it.

I said we don't have any pictures alone.

Come here.

Go away!

If you say the life has to stop...

You really are a fan of Manga.

I'm a fanatic Manga fan.


Did you get my phone?

You left it outside, sir.

No, I didn't mean that.

I meant did you get my phone number?

Maybe we'll write to each other
via WhatsApp.

I want to do you a favor.

What kind of a favor?

Manga's vocalist,
Ferman is a close friend of mine.

Get out of here!

Let me call him.

Call him if you like.


Ferman, I have a dear friend here.

He wants to talk to you.



-They are calling me?

-Who is it?

Hello, Mr. Manga.

He is swearing.

-No way.
-Listen to him.

He is cursing at my mom.

What? Is he cursing at your mom?

Give me that phone!

Mr. Manga, who do you think you are?

Pekmez, what's going on?

I wanted to do a favor...

But... I'm very sorry, sir.

It's late. I'm going to go.

Do you want to have some fresh air?


-Let's go.

Sorry about my dad.

No problem. I had fun.

Aren't you ashamed of
having fun with an old man?

-No, I didn't mean that...
-I'm just kidding.

Come here.

Where are we?

You're a Göztepe boy.
You wouldn't know here.


My family is a bit strange.
You aren't scared, are you?

No, on the contrary, I was very happy.

You know what?

I got into a boarding school
when I was 12.

I don't know much about family.
Warmth of family rather.

I grew up in Istanbul.

I was in Istanbul during my youth.

And I found a job in Istanbul.


...one day...

...my mom called.

She told me my dad was in chemotherapy.

Really? How does it pay?


The Camel Trophy.

Didn't you say Camel Trophy?

Camel Trophy?

I said chemotherapy.

I really am an idiot!

I'm so sorry.

No problem.

Let's go there. It's really beautiful.

OK. Let's go.

Your dad is OK, right?

No, he was in the last stages.

Chemo didn't help.

Then my mom couldn't be alone

so I returned to İzmir.

It's nice.
You didn't leave your mom alone.


My mom wasn't very serious on motherhood.

But I'm trying to be a good son.

I don't know how to do it, though.

Ms. Slut knows how to, for sure.


Thank you very much for tonight.

At least, for showing me
where and how to be happy.

Keep your paws off.


I got nervous.

I'm sorry.

Make it up to me with a kiss.

OK, then.


I thought you were serious.

OK, I won't kiss you.

Did you get upset?

No, I won't kiss you. I didn't get upset.

It's beautiful here.

Yes, it is. This is Karşıyaka.

But you see Göztepe from here.


It'll be a wonderful wedding.

It's him I think.

Where were you?

-You didn't answer my calls.
-What are you doing here?

We've been waiting for you for dinner.

Mom, please.

Good night.

Look at him!

Come here, honey.

-I gave them a balloon just yesterday!
-Love creating balloons of Erol, everyone!

He was selling balloons to couples...

I was watching.

And we're talking here.
I couldn't hear anything.



What is that?

OK, go on!

Good morning!

What am I doing?

We need to filter these.


Guess what?

A government person
wants you at a funeral?

Stop joking.

My dad won two tickets to the Manga
concert from a radio contest.

Honey, let me be clear about something.

We're all broadcasters here.

And they are my close friends.

We can go to that concert without tickets.

It's more fun this way.

Will you come to the concert with me?

If not, I'll force my father on you.

He's done it himself.
Look what he sent me.



Oh my!

You're coming then.

Take these
because I will definitely lose them. Yay!

We have more time.
We need to squeeze something in.

Give it to me.

We were going to make news
on the mating season of bats anyway.

Does that work?

But the team can't come back
before midnight.

I know which team I'm going to send.



No, that slut sent us here on purpose.


So that I won't make it to the concert.

Mating season of the bats, my ass!

Isn't that ridiculous?

It's bullshit!

You can mate in any season.
It's not like you're a seasonal worker!

I can mate in all seasons.

God is testing me with you.

It's a good thing that we have cameras.

Or people would think
that you kidnapped me.

Don't you ever want to do it? Ever?

I do, but not with you, you idiot. Go on!

So, where are they?

There are no bats here.

What did you expect? Were they
going to come and say hello to you?

Were they going to offer you cologne?

Don't you watch any documentaries?

Bats are shy.

They cover their full body when doing it.


Where are you? Bats!

Buddy birds!

Show us some action here!

I'm going.

Let's do something tonight. I'm so bored.

I don't feel well. I'm going to
go home and get some sleep.

Do you want me to cook you some soup?

No, I just don't feel OK. Don't bother.

Some rest would be good.

OK, fine.


They're here! Come on!

I wish I’d been recording.
You'd be on YouTube again.

Is that funny? You're using the light
for yourself. I don't see anything.

Is it my fault again?

Then don't jump in the cave like
a Heidi on steroids!

Who did you call "on steroids"?

I'm going to go to the concert
with Pekmez. We need to hurry.

-Don't you understand?
-You're not the only one who has a date.

I have a sex life too.

And not a trivial one like yours.

-Mine is guaranteed.

What sex life can you have,
you randy thing?

Your sex life can only
consist of beating it!

-Is that so?
-Yes, it is.

You talk to me as a friend,
but you always rub yourself against me.

-You think I don't get it?
-Why would I?

I'd rather rub myself against that rock
over there than you!

I'll show you the rock now!

Why would Pekmez care about you? Heidi!

Don't call me that!

-Don't yell at me!
-I’m not!

-Yes, you are!
-Even my dad doesn't yell at me!

Is that so? Here is some yelling then!

Don't yell!

It collapsed.

What do we do now?


Where are you?

There is no reception here.

We'll end up like victims who died
because of not having any battery.

Bats are going to mate
over our dead bodies.

They will find two naked skeletons
that locked to each other

in the deep corners of the cave.

Naked? Bro!

Don't call me bro!

Everybody calls me that.
So I can't find anybody.

-Look, I'm a virgin.

I'm a virgin.

Did you hear me?
And I'm going to die a virgin!

What about being a big dangler?
And your date tonight?

It was a dentist appointment.

-I paid in advance.
-You're the last person...

I'm poor and a virgin.

I'm like a clean white sheet.

I'm going to die before kissing someone.

-We're going to die!
-We're going to die!

You've been waiting all night.

Good bye!

-It's not her! I'm her aunt.

I'm so sorry.
She didn't show up at the concert so...

How could she? You don't have any shame.

Didn't you send her to some cave?

I'm going to go crazy. I can't reach her.



He hung up. Brother!

Come on, Pucca.

No reception here either.

It's Pekmez.

-Hello, Pekmez?

I'm so sorry. I couldn't make it.

I'm in the cave now.
But you can go alone if you like.

Are you OK? What's going on?

Don't be silly!

Hello? Pekmez? The cave
has collapsed and we’re stuck in here.

-Save us from the birds, please.

-What is he saying?
-If anything happens to me,

I'm going to sue you!

-How is this his fault?
-Shut up!

I'll show you... Hello?


-Give me!
-It went dead.

Did he understand us?

Right! He'll be here after the concert!

Damn your concert!
I couldn't hear anything.

Is he going to the concert? Did he say so?

Where are you in that cave?

Why are we walking?


I love him so much that
I can hear his voice calling me.


I can hear it, too.

He is calling for me, bastard.

Why would he call your name?

I don't like him, but I'm hearing it.



Now I see a white light.


The light is calling for me.

Am I dying?

It's Pekmez.

-Pekmez came to save me!


-We're here!


Wait, I'll drop a rope!

See? Pekmez didn't leave me here.

Children and Hasans first.

-Arrivederci. Pull!

Am I going to be alone? Am I...


Come on, Pucca! You can do this.

Hello there.

My lad!

I knew it!
I knew that you were going to save me!

My bro!

My hero!

Hasan, where is Pucca? Is she inside?

Last time I checked she was.

Pucca! It's your turn.

Pekmez, I can't do it.

I'm scared. I have a fear of heights.

-OK, calm down. I'm coming.

On my mark, go in reverse.

-Come here you.


Come on.

Hasan, pull!

-Slow down, Hasan!

God! Pekmez, are you OK?

He can't breathe.
I need to do mouth-to-mouth.


-I can't...
-You can't...

-Get off.
-Am I too heavy?

I'll get some help!

Wait for me!

Mouth-to-mouth could be nice.

Caves are very cold. I'm chilled.

Come here.

-Are you cold, too?
-A little. Not much.

We couldn't go to the concert.

Never mind. It's an excuse to be together.


And I can sing for you.

Do you sing?

-Of course, I make people cry.

-Could you sing for me?

-Shall I?

I'm listening to you.

The songs are for tomorrow

Time is not healing this wound

Ember burns where it falls

This order...

-What are you doing?
-I'm singing.

Don't! The cave might collapse on us.

That bad?

I've already made it collapse.

-That bad?

-OK. Another one?
-No, I don't want you to.


-I'm not ready for that.
-I'll sing.

You'll draw a woman

Who won't leave you like she did

You'll hide and bury her

-What happened to the collapse risk?
-Let it.

No one can love her

I don't know how long
we stayed there and talked.

We didn't feel the cold.

Attention ladies.
Overlock machine is here.

We can...

Don't panic! Be calm!

Everything is under control.
The team will save them any minute.

We're here. Don't be afraid.

It's high time!

Though you could've waited
for two more minutes.

You look all right. Should I go?

Let's go.

They're here.

-Thank God!

-Be careful!
-My daughter!

-Did they save us?

-Be careful!
-You, too, be careful.

-God! Are you OK?


-My dear niece!

-Are you all right?

-Go there.
-Why is she here?

Thank you very much.

-I said so.
-Yes, you did.

Thank you very much.

Pekmez, you could've been hurt...

Excuse me! Keep your hands to yourself.
Aren't you the one who sent us here?

I was afraid more for your baby.

It could lose its father.

How come?

Pucca, I didn't know this.

-She is pregnant.
-Shame on you!

I didn't expect this from you.

I'll never forgive you.



What a shame! I couldn't even do it once!

I woke up early this morning

I made the dessert that you like

While I was eating it alone

I cried silently

I made some tea

I watched a movie

Time didn't pass


I cleaned the whole house

I'm bored of myself

Am I stupid or what?

What's wrong with me?
Why can't I get rid of you?

Days don't pass here

Far away from you

Bottles piled in the kitchen

I hate makeup and
I threw all of my mirrors

I ate on and on
I've gained a little weight

Days don't pass here

Far away from you

Bottles piled in the kitchen


I hate makeup and
I threw all of my mirrors

I ate on and on
I've gained a little weight

Look at them!

What are you doing?

You need to shoot me! I'm the bride!

I will shoot you alright.

What's happening?

What the hell is that?

They can get married.

I can make myself a new life.

In another city.

After all, I have my father with me.

I'm young and beautiful.

I can find someone who will love me.

I can't envy someone else's happiness.

A garden filled with dogs,
a good husband...

Happy, playing kids...

What would I say to a life like that?


Years later, in a Sunday matinee
that I always go to...


Pekmez, right!

Pekmez has grown old!

No, you're still good.

Your reflexes are good.

Where's Slut the slut?

What's that?

Why didn't she grow old?

Is she eating a fetus every morning?



How are you?

Like this.

Did you ever wonder...

If you and I were together,

how our lives would be?

Every day.

Every second.

How about you?

I didn't think about that.

I'm happy with my life.

God damn you!

I hope you go through menopause.

Luckily, that didn't happen.

Come here.

That didn't happen either.

The mug I'd given to Red when I left work

saved both of our lives.

-No shit!

What's happening?

Where's Pucca?

Pucca! Get up quick!

-Get up! I brought you something.
-What's happening?

Where's the remote?

Why are you here?

Easy, girl!

Your child will be an addict
before birth because of you.

What child are you talking about?
It's empty here.

-Slut! She's not pregnant!
-The wedding is a day away.

I don't want to give birth
and ruin my body at this age.

Your mother-in-law shouldn't hear this.

She'll be dead in three years. Never mind!

-What a slut!

She's not pregnant!

-She's not pregnant!
-We may have missed the wedding.

What time is the wedding?

-The invitation?
-I ate it.

Let me put this here.

The missing piece is the time.
Where is it?

Wait a second.

It's here.

-It's at 8 PM.

-We have one hour.
-How can we go there without a car?

Attention ladies.

-Overlock machine is here.
-Come on, quick!

Come on, quick!

Dad! Quick!

Dad! Slut is not pregnant!

-She tricked Pekmez.

We need to bust the wedding.

-I can't let her have Pekmez.
-Yes, dad!

-Where's your aunt?

Where is she?

I'm here!

Please tell me why you dressed like that.

It's a wedding after all,
we'll be in a crowd. See?

You should have brought something for us.

-Which dress did you bring?

I love the action!


You need to prevent this wedding!

Don't let them get married, OK?

Here's the dress.

How can I prevent it?

What should I say?

"Stop! Because I'm in love with this guy?"

They'll learn everything
when they see the footage.

-What's the address?
-I'm on the phone, Dad!


Hurry up! The wedding has already started.

What? Hang up! We need to hurry up!
Zodi, tie this.

Should we pin a full gold coin?

Fuck it, even quarter is too much for him.
We'll play a song and go to Çeşme.

-Thank you. How do you do?

Thank you. Ferman?


Thank you very much.

We'll be on the stage tonight.



I don't want to seem like a wedding
maniac, but hit the gas for God's sake!

-Dad, turn from there!
-Give me the eyeliner.

The slide show that tells
the journey of our couple

with the beautiful voice of
our angel bride.

You are the mistakes that I've made...

I sang this song for you, darling.

Oh, you, despite everything...

Are you OK, son? You seem upset.

I'm OK, Mom. I'm just...

I'm just tired.
It must be the wedding rush.

OK, you're right.

What's that?

Stop! She's not pregnant!


Take her out! Quick!
I want all of them out!

Play this, quick!


This woman is not pregnant. Hello, mother.


Is it true? Tell me!

Shut up! I told you to take her out!

-Pekmez! What are you doing?
-Lady, please.

Hasan! Play that CD already!

Your child will be an addict
before birth because of you.

What child are you talking about?
It's empty here.

I have one day left for the wedding.
I can fill it later.

I don't want to give birth
and ruin my body at this age.

Your mother-in-law shouldn't hear this.

She'll be dead in three years. Never mind!

-Not Mümü, Müzeyyen.


Do you believe me now?
Play it again, Hasan!

Calm down! You saved my life!

My hero!

Can you forgive me?

It looks like it's going to be
a romantic conversation.

Let me go and freshen up.

-I'm back.
-Can I kiss you?

Of course you'll kiss me.
Did I raid your party for nothing?

We've had a close brush with death.
What if my dad's car crashed?

Your property is
as important as your life...

I love you.

I love you, too.

Give me a second.

Can I take this?

What's going on there?

I don't understand, either.

-Did you recognize me?
-Where did you come from?

You swore at my mom the other night!

Pity the couple!
Sing a song and I'll forgive you.

-Can the next song be for us?
-OK, my love!

"My love" he said!

The hurricane in your heart

Is still not calm

Is still not calm

I was shivering

I wanted you in my arms

Come to me again

Love me again with the fire of love

Come to me again

Love me again with the fire of love

Come to me again
Love me again madly

Come to me again
Love me again madly

Come to me again
Love me again madly

Come to me again
Love me again madly

Come to me again
Love me again madly

The wedding was cancelled that night.

But I danced so much

that they pinned
four pieces of gold on me.

What happened next?

What happened next?

We're good now.

It's only the beginning.

God knows what we will see.

We'll wait and see.

Let's hope.



Subtitle translation by
Deniz Karagöz & Deniz Erkaradağ