Gwok chaan Ling Ling Chat (1994) - full transcript

FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE
SOLEMNLY ANNOUNCES THAT:

THIS MOVIE IS NOT RELATED
TO THE JAMES BOND SERIES

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL PEOPLE
OR EVENTS IS COINCIDENTAL

PEOPLE'S LIBERATION ARMY OF CHINA
SHENYANG FIRST AIR-FORCE BASE

STOP

Open the gate.

EXTRA STRENGTH VIAGRA

NO FIRE ZONE
SIXTH WAREHOUSE OF EASTERN REGION

Open the container!

Did you get scared?

What's so astonishing about it?



Where is the skull of the dinosaur?

Where is it?

-Don't just stand there! Search!
-Yes.

Start searching!

EXTRA STRENGTH VIAGRA

HEXING SINO-FOREIGN CONTAINER WAREHOUSE

Go back. Slowly.

Be careful!

Come on, be careful.

Put the skull into the other container.

Get ready and set out now!

-Yes, sir!
-Yes, sir!

This is Yee calling, roger.

Are you all right, Yee?



The skull of the dinosaur is ready.

All the thieves have been killed by me.

-Report your location.
-I am currently at Ta Nien.

How dare you kill off so many of my men?

Are you trying to kill me
with this toy gun?

Kid, let me show you what a real gun is.

Curse you,
you just wasted one of my bullets.

What else will you show me?

Yee, report to us. What happened?

-I am under attack.
-Who is attacking you?

I don't know,
he's wearing an indestructible armor.

And he has a golden gun.

I have never seen such a powerful weapon!

Send back up now!

Yee!

Yee, what happened?

Answer us, Yee!

Prime Minister.

Until now, we haven't gotten any clues
about the missing dinosaur's skull.

However, the top spies of our organization

were almost killed.

So we're facing some difficulties
in our investigation.

The skull is a First-Grade Relic
of our country.

-You have to get it back no matter what.
-Yes, sir!

-I will definitely try my best.
-Get it back as soon as possible.

Yes.

-Guards.
-Yes?

What is that?

Sir.

These files are over ten years old,
so we're going to burn them to ashes.

-Hold on.
-Yes.

CONFIDENTIAL
MINISTRY OF STATE SECURITY

Why is there a special file of our spies?

This man is not qualified to be a spy.

He is a backup.

No.

His ancestor was a hero.

His background is clean,
and he can be trusted.

Well, send this guy
to take on this mission.

LING LING-CHAT

BACKUP

-Let me have a look.
-Okay.

Excuse me.

Do you think it's safe
for you to hide here?

It's useless.

You're a very attractive man.

No matter where you hide,

you are always obvious and outstanding,
just like the fireflies in the dark.

Your melancholic look,

your short beard,

your great skill in chopping,

and your glass of dry martini,

all of these will eventually
expose your identity.

Even though you are so wonderful,

we have our own rules too.

You have to pay for my service last night.

Why didn't you pay after sleeping with me?

I thought our relationship
was based on love.

I never expected it
to be merely a business.

Even if it's love, you still have to pay.

I understand.

If I had money, I would have paid you.

My business has been kind of slow lately.

How about this?

Take this pork as payment instead.

Here, just take it. Thank you.

What the heck? Just you wait!

If you are in the mood,
how about we meet again tonight?

It's your loss, not mine.

What? That butcher won't pay up?

-Let me teach him a lesson.
-Forget it.

After all,

he is a very special and handsome butcher.

"My strength could pull mountains,
my spirit pales the world."

"Yet, so unlucky am I
that my horse just refuses to gallop!"

Chat?

Man-si?

I wish for you to say
my full name, Da Man-si.

-No problem, Man-si.
-Thank you.

You're welcome, Man-si.

We have a mission for you.

-Really?
-Yes.

They haven't forgotten me!

How are you, Rose?

We haven't met for ten years,
but you are still a beauty.

I am not Rose.

She died last year.

I am her daughter, Rosy.

-She has a daughter.
-Yes.

Here, let me hug you.

That can wait.

Commander has been waiting for you.

You may go in now.

-All right, I will be back soon.
-Okay.

Take this liver and make some soup.

It's good for your health.

You haven't been back for ages.

Did you forget about the glass door there?

Commander!

-Ling Ling-chat, you're here.
-Yes.

No smoking.

No weapons are allowed either.

Hey! Sorry.

I won't give it to you
because I'm a swordsman.

It's fine.

"Swordsman"?

I have waited for ten years,
I thought I was forgotten by the country.

Of course not.

Even a piece of toilet paper
is useful for us.

I like this analogy.

I am well prepared for any kind of work.

All right.

I am glad that you can help us
at the right moment.

Recently, we discovered
the biggest fossil of an ancient dinosaur.

-Go!
-But its skull was stolen.

In fact, the thief is a mysterious case.

The only tip we have gotten so far

is that he uses an invincible golden gun

and wears an indestructible armor.

Given that this invaluable treasure is

suspected to have been stolen
by Lai Yau-wai,

the King of Smuggling in Hong Kong,

you'll be sent to Hong Kong
to further investigate this case.

Have you seen Rassic Park?

No, but I watched Jurassic Park.

That's right, Jurassic Park.

What kind of dinosaur was it?

Is it the one that screamed?

Right, the one that screamed like this.

That one was so cruel
as it loved eating kids.

-No, the one in China wouldn't eat kids.
-I guess you're right.

Da Man-si, who trained you ten years ago,

will be the one supporting you.

Hey, Man-si.

Commander, I'm Da Man-si.

Man-si, how is it going?

I invented several new gadgets
and I hope they will help.

A flashlight?

No, this is not a common flashlight.

It doesn't need batteries
as it is solar-powered.

When there is light, it will light up.

But if there is no light...

No, never!

But will it still light up
even if there's no light?

Good question.

Turn off the light.

All right.

Just light it with another flashlight,

then it will light up.

See?

Doesn't it work?

-Turn on the light.
-Yes.

This invention is really creative.

Look at that guard.

Let's pretend that he's the man
with the golden gun.

This is called Super Spy's Chair.

This is for you to keep watch
of your enemies for a long duration.

Are you scared or not?

See, you're scared.

Right?

-This is a powerful invention.
-Not bad.

Right now,
I'm trying to make a superweapon,

which includes
ten kinds of killing weapons.

-If this is successfully made--
-Man-si.

Let's talk in my office.

Chat, have you been working
as a butcher for the past ten years?

To be exact, a sad butcher.

I am a sad vegetable hawker.

Luckily, I have a part-time job at
the Central Psychological Research Centre.

-What's your job?
-To be researched on.

Not bad.

Ling Ling-chat, remember this.

The dinosaur's skull
represents the esteem of our country.

It is not allowed
to be in the hands of foreigners.

Throughout the investigation,
you have to keep your identity a secret.

The man with the golden gun
is extremely mysterious

and very cruel.

You will be in great danger.

Ling Ling-chat, do you have any questions?

-May I be excused?
-You can't.

You have to set out tomorrow morning.

Once you reach Hong Kong,
someone will contact you.

Understood.

-Is there anything else?
-No.

I'll personally give you 200 yuan.

Buy yourself better clothes
before you go off to Hong Kong.

Don't tarnish the image of our country.

-Man-si.
-Yes.

Buy me a cup of tea.

-Remember to take back the change.
-Yes.

Man-si, Commander,
I'll try my best for my country.

Good speech, good pal!

-Good pal, good speech!
-Good!

Are you crazy?

Are you really sending a butcher
to look for the dinosaur?

He was a very good spy.

"Good"?

Are you taking me for a fool?

He hasn't been a spy for ages.

Does he still know how to shoot?

Deputy Captain, don't worry.

I sent him for this mission
because I know his ability very well.

Of course, you do.

Only you know what's in your mind.

In my opinion,
since the skull was stolen in Shenyang,

it should be taken care of
by the Northerns.

To put it simply, you don't trust me.

That's right, I don't.

I have already sent my people
to investigate this case.

I'll definitely catch the man
who stole the skull.

Well, we don't have much to talk about.

Please leave.

This man is gone for good now.

Go to Hong Kong now.

Send this document to a man
called Ling Ling-chat.

Find a chance to kill him.

007 VERSUS MOONRAKER

IMPROVE YOUR SPOKEN ENGLISH FAST

PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CHINA SPY'S GUIDE

HAVE DREAMS, BE CIVILIZED, BE ORGANIZED

I have booked a room.

What's your name?

Sorry, your name isn't listed here.

What?

Really?

Please check again.

Sorry, your booking
is not for Regent Hotel,

but it's for Regent Motel.

Sir, since you are so good looking,

I will only charge you 70 dollars a day.

The check out time is at 12 p.m.

What?

Here.

If you wear this, it will be better.

Really?

How is it? Okay?

-Yes, but this doesn't fit me.
-Do you want any hookers?

Good idea, what kind of girls do you have?

Mainlanders or local girls,
only 150 dollars each.

-I would like a local.
-All right.

-Madam, what are you doing?
-I'm taking off your trousers.

-Why are you doing this?
-You want a local girl, right?

I am famous in this area.

MEET YOU AT TRIANGLE PARK
WITH A RED ROSE AS A SIGN

It's you!

So?

Are you being tailed?

Come and eat, hurry up.

Hurry.

Come on, eat.

There are so many pretty girls
in Hong Kong.

You are so kindhearted.

Do you always feed the dogs?

Do you love painting?

Yes, how about you?

I don't like it.

I am just a butcher.

What is that song?

"Li Heung-lan."

By Jacky Cheung?

I know it, but I'm not familiar with it.

I know Li Heung-kam better.

Really?

My name is Li Heung-kam.

-Is your name Li Heung-kam?
-Yes, I am Li Heung-kam.

You're Li Heung-kam.

So Li Heung-lan must be your mom.

Yes, she is my mom.

Li Heung-lan is your mom.

-Do you smoke?
-No.

Come out.

Come out!

Why is there a cigarette butt?

The door is not even fully closed.

Obviously, there's someone hiding
inside the closet.

Step aside, it's really dangerous.

Come out!

Do you smoke Kent?

How do you know that?

You were the one who threw this.

Come on, wear your shoes.

After a very long journey,

I am a bit nervous.

But I can say this without hesitation.

I really am a great spy.

Please return the slippers to me.

Here.

I'm very well-prepared for this mission.

Look.

For example, this is the model F40.

It looks like a normal mobile phone,

but do you see this platinum layer here?

In fact,

this is a shaver.

It helps us to shave
without being noticed by others.

This is the 911 model
and it looks like a shaver.

However,

it's actually a hairdryer.

Do you really need so many hairdryers?

This is only a cover.

Actually,

this is a shaver.

See?

I guess that's why you're so handsome.

You're flattering me.

If you lose this hairdryer,
what will you do?

What a simple question.

I am a wise guy.

In fact, my shoes...

are also hairdryers.

You know, being a spy,
one's appearance is very important.

I'm sorry, but do you have any batteries?

It's out of battery.

No.

Forget it, I will handle it later.

I wish to know
that being an excellent spy,

what kind of gun do you use?

Can you show me?

What a shame.

I don't know much about guns.

I am good with daggers instead.

"Daggers"?

Right, a dagger.

D, A, G, G, E, R.

So amazing.

-In fact--
-I get it.

Why don't we get back to our topic?

As a spy, you have to have
knowledge about guns.

This is called UFO Rifle
and it's suitable for long-range shooting.

The range is 200 meters.

This is a 224 tiny spittoon bullet
and especially made by me.

I love its name.

-A 357 Magnum.
-So great!

It comes with a set of steel shot bullets.

Can it kill a dinosaur?

You would have to try it
with a real dinosaur.

This is PPK made in China
and it is used by mainland spies.

Its range is 120 meters.

Even though it can be loud,

with this silencer,

you can kill without producing any noise.

What is it that is stuck inside?

Perhaps a piece of cotton?

Is it that simple?

Don't you think it's toilet paper?

You are so handsome and funny.

I can't see anything inside.

Well, it's cute.

Does this fit?

Mine fits too.

May I try?

All right, but how?

It's raining now,
so let me close the windows first.

What happened?

Why are you shot?

-I was trying to test this gun.
-But this gun shoots from the back!

-Why didn't you inform me earlier?
-Wait, you're bleeding.

What did you do?

-I was testing the gun again.
-Again?

Why didn't you ask me before testing?
This gun is called the Nicked Gun.

It first shoots from the back,
then switches to the front.

Then why didn't you tell me?

You're bleeding,
you should cover the wounds first.

Kam, why are you sweating?

I just took a bath.

Where is Ling Ling-chat?

He is still here, but don't worry,
I will finish my mission soon.

-No, the plan has changed.
-What?

Kill him in Lai Yau-wai's house.

So that we can set him up

and no one would suspect anything.

-Wait for one more day.
-What?

"One more day"?

Wait, why are you bleeding?

Nothing, I just brushed my teeth
and this blood is from the gums.

What kind of toothbrush are you using?
A broom?

How are you?

Hi, Ling Ling-chat.

Commander,
I am glad to see you in the toilet.

How is your partnership going along?

Not bad, Kam is nice.

She is a good friend of mine.

Kam, what do you think about me?

Other than your good looks,
I have nothing else to say.

You'll find out
I'm good at other things too.

I hope you will complete the mission soon.

-Yes.
-Yes.

Kam, take back your gun first.

Thank you.

Don't move, let me help you.

Save it for yourself.

I am fine, thank you.

Listen, never test out the guns alone.

I love it, what's wrong with that?

-Waiter.
-Yes?

I have heard that
the tofu pudding is famous here.

-Yes.
-It stinks.

It is famous for its stench.

Can you bring me something
which is famous for its taste?

-That will be our tofu pudding.
-Is that true?

It is.

Just imagine that this is stinky tofu
and you will find it delicious.

-Give me some deep-fried ones.
-All right.

Hong Kong shopping centers
are so wonderful.

They are.

How are your wounds?

It's no big deal.

Don't ever test out the guns
you don't know about.

I should have learned
using dagger from you.

I'm not qualified to be your teacher,
but let me tell you this.

A real dagger is not controlled
with your hands.

Try to guess what it is.

It's air.

Use the air to govern your dagger.

When you do that,
you can cut through anything in the world.

If you don't believe me,

-I'll show you with this knife.
-All right, let's just eat.

Kam, are you still mad at me?

Don't be silly.

What made you think that I'm not?

I am very mad at you.

Are you kidding?

How angry are you?

I would like to shoot you to death.

Why are you taking our picture?

-What are you doing?
-Calm down.

I am actually an artist.

I am trying to find
some inspiration about love.

From your eyes,
I can tell that you two are lovers,

so I couldn't help but take a picture.

I hope you don't mind.

You can have that photo.

I'll keep this one, thank you.

Thank you.

Don't even bother, just take it.

Sir.

Did you just spit this out?

Yes, is there anything wrong?

It's nothing, I just wanted to know.

From your accent,
are you perhaps from Hunan?

Yes, I am.

I came from Hunan too!

Which district are you from?

-Cho Tao Town, Dongting Lake.
-Me too!

What a coincidence! Which village?

Shang Yang Village.

It really is a coincidence,
we're from Shang Yang Village too.

-Is that so?
-Who knows we'd meet our neighbor here?

Excuse me.

There was a dog that always barked
near the entrance of our village.

I adopted that dog,

but it somehow disappeared.

Then I found out that it was eaten.

That heartless guy dumped its bones
at the entrance of the village.

Were you perhaps the one
who did such a cruel thing?

No, I didn't do it.

-Then why are your cheeks red?
-No, they're not.

-Your smile looks so awkward.
-It's not awkward.

-I have a feeling it was done by you.
-No!

-Were you the one who did it?
-No, it wasn't me!

-Was it really not you?
-I didn't do it!

-It wasn't me!
-Are you sure?

-Thank you for the meal.
-It's no big deal.

-Don't mention it, it's just a meal.
-Thank you.

After all, us Hunan people
can't be looked down on.

When we go back to our hometown,
we will be rich and famous.

I won't bother you then.

If we meet again,
I will treat you to breakfast.

See you soon.

Hey, wait up.

How about this?

We should wait for two of my friends
who are picking up something.

They will return soon.
How about we shop around together?

-Thank you, but we have something to do.
-It's okay.

It's hard to meet your neighbors,
you should have a chat.

I need to go to the restroom.

Fine.

Listen, I'll only say this once!

Do you get it?

You're so handsome
compared to other Hunan people.

I know that you care
about your appearance a lot.

If you lose the hat,
you'll look more handsome.

Don't wear hats so often.

In fact, I loved wearing hats.

But someone told me
that hats make our hair feel stuffy,

so if you keep wearing them,
you will easily go bald.

Why is it taking so long?

Aren't they supposed
to only grab something?

Hey.

What's wrong, son?

Are you still angry with me?

You've always been the one tricking me,
yet I only tricked you once.

All right, I'll buy you some popcorn.

-Really? Let's go!
-Yes.

-You tricked me again!
-I'm going to beat you!

It hurts.

I told you not to shout.

Hey, there they are.

We're the police, freeze!

Don't move!

We're neighbors, so you have to help me.

Come here.

Go to hell!

Are you okay?

Calling!

Send in an ambulance right now,
many people are shot.

We're on the fourth floor
of Royal Castle, over.

-Go away!
-Get lost!

-Move or I'll shoot you!
-Get lost!

I will shoot!

Move or I'll shoot you!

-Go away!
-Don't come over!

-Tak!
-Don't come close!

Don't come close!

-Don't come over!
-I will shoot him!

-Give me back my son, I beg you.
-Get lost!

-He's my everything!
-Get lost!

Give me back my son!

-Please give my son back!
-Get lost!

-Just give his son back.
-Give me back my son!

-No!
-My son!

-Watch him.
-Okay.

We have taken control of this place.

Come with me!

Freeze!

-Let's go!
-Okay!

Hung, hurry up!

Hung, come here quickly!

Hung!

-Hurry up!
-Faster, leave now!

They're coming down, be careful!

Is this vaudeville?

I thought I could kill
with someone's hand,

but the plan failed.

Didn't you receive an order from me?

How could you make your own decision?

I know,

but I really want to find out who he is.

Shut it!

Who do you think you are
to ask me this question?

You are in no position to know who he is.

Remember this.

Both your mom and dad were traitors!

Your grandfather too was one,

which makes you a traitor!

It's fate!

If I had not adopted you,

you would have been executed with them!

Your life is mine.

So you're going to obey my order.

Is that clear?

Kam.

I know that you're a kindhearted person.

Do you know what he is?

He's a beast.

In fact, he's a nasty guy.

He assaulted pregnant women
and molested little girls.

Here, look at how small
these little girls were

and how large the stomachs
of these pregnant women.

All of them were hurt by Chat.

You're not only helping me,

but also the public.

-Any questions?
-No.

Good.

Tomorrow, just do it as planned.

Kill him in Lai Yau-wai's house.

Understood.

-Are you all alright?
-What's the matter?

It's nothing.

You have been inside for quite a long time

and you didn't answer me.

That's why I broke in.

-Are you taking a bath?
-Yes.

I'm fine, so please close the door.

All right.

I can't believe what happened today--

I mean you should get out
and close the door.

Get out!

What do you want?

-Do you want to do it?
-What is it?

-Give money to the deceased's family.
-Who?

-Tak's dad.
-Who is Tak's dad?

The innocent victim who was shot dead
at the shopping center today.

Donating money to the deceased's family?

Would it be okay if we ask the press
to give Tak's family the money?

I guess so.

What name should we write?
The kindhearted guys?

It's up to you.

Since we're not close friends,

500 dollars should be enough, right?

You should decide.

-Can you pay the 500 dollars for me?
-What did you just say?

Once I'm finished with this mission,
I'll be rewarded with 500 dollars.

-I can pay you back later.
-What?

Trust me, I won't forget my words.

All right.

Put it down.

More.

More.

That's it, okay.

All of these are dangerous explosives.

You have to send people
to be on watch all around the clock.

-Roger!
-Roger!

Lai Yau-wai always deals with smuggling.

The lost cranium of dinosaur
might be related to him.

This is him.

Take action when there's a chance.

-Do you have any questions?
-Yes.

Is Lee Heung-lan your mom?

As per my knowledge, she was a traitor.

Sorry, I have no questions left.

Time's up, let's go.

Kam, if we finish the mission tonight,
I'll return to China at once.

So tell me what you like
and I'll give it to you.

No, thank you.

-I insist.
-Then, white roses.

Maybe, I'll give them to you instead.

If we have the time,

I would like to visit
the karaoke of Hong Kong.

I'll keep in contact with you.

You know, my voice is like Jacky Cheung.

My Adam's apple can move up and down.

Here's the key to the rear door.
Hurry, or you'll have no time.

I'll sing you a song.

I'll sing "Lee Heung-lan."

Listen!

I'm forced to stay with you.

Don't ever mention Lee Heung-Ian
or sing songs in front of me!

I don't want to hear your rubbish!

I appreciate how straightforward you are.

This key is not necessary.

This box is not a simple box.

It's a special box called Magic Box.

It can send me to Lai's house
safely and gracefully.

Magic Box!

Why are you here? What do you want?

I should be the one asking that question!

I haven't adjusted the angle,
so the direction was wrong.

Now, it's ready.

Magic...

Damn it!

The door is open.

Go in.

Kam, I am not a fool...

-Clean the blood first.
-All right.

I think this box is wrongly positioned.

Just adjust it and it'll be fine.

-Don't waste my time!
-It'll be fine.

Give me one more chance.

Magic Box!

A dry martini, please.

What are you looking at?
Give me another glass.

What the heck was that?

Chat, how is it going?

Dangerous.

The guests are all very fierce
yet kind at the same time.

You won't believe it.

Sir, how about you?

I can do it myself, thank you.

Mr. Lai, a call.

Hello?

Target discovered.

Pay attention, the skull...

Listen, I'll only say this one more time.

Put the bones into hot water
to remove extra fats.

Next, boil it with fish maw for an hour.

-When will you come back for the soup?
-Enough.

Stop calling me.

My wife is still here.

Romario passed it to Pai Bi-to.

Pai Bi-to scored with his wonderful skill!

Chat, how is it? Can you hear anything?

I believe that a man
called Pai Bi-to stole the skull.

He then used his amazing skills
to shoot and score a point.

But the signal is weak here.

I'm planning to dig a tunnel
towards his sofa

and hear what he is talking about.

Chat, cut the crap.

Go somewhere else
that has a better signal.

There's radio interference everywhere.

I can't hear what Lai Yau-wai is saying.

Chat.

Try to find a place that is not crowded.

There's a piano in front of me
and it's not crowded.

Go ahead and try.

All right.

It's still not clear.

Don't move, just sit still.

That's perfect.

I feel embarrassed
to be sitting here alone.

You love singing, right?

You should sing.

All right.

I forgot the lyrics.

How was it?

It was so-so.

Just say anything.

Your tune was a little off.

You were really great.

You're amazing to have changed position
in such a short time.

I guess you're really something.

Just to be frank,

I'm waiting for a very important man here.

I believe you know him too.

Sorry, no comment.

I won't force you,

but I have something to tell you.

I really like you.

Kam, do you copy?
It's very dangerous here.

I don't know where the killers are hiding.

What a golden opportunity.

I was shot.

How did you manage to walk then?

Luckily, I put on a bulletproof vest.

However,
there isn't any bulletproof trousers.

This is for you.

Where did you find them?

I got it while I was escaping.

This is rare, you're really lucky.

Don't be so serious, you lunatic!

How did you know that I am one?

Many people told me that too.

The killer with the golden gun
is still inside.

For now, let's leave. Go!

Hey!

Who is he?

I'm here, don't worry.

You cripple, sit back
and let me handle this man!

-Run over him!
-I'm going to do it!

You're lucky to have escaped!

Are you okay?

Do you have a bandage,
cotton, and scissors?

Yes.

-I couldn't get any scissors!
-Forget it.

The bullet is shot
right into the bone of my thigh

and it's pressing upon my arteries,

located near the trigeminal nerve.

My left brain is lacking oxygen

and my body's right side
is starting to feel numb.

I have to cut the wound
and take out the bullet.

Let me do it.

This is a legendary knife
which was made by a famous smith.

It is made with a special iron.

The total weight of this
is 25 kilograms and 113 grams.

Ordinary people can't lift it up.

This requires special skills.

In order to not come in contact
with the nerves and vessels,

-help me widen the wound.
-What?

Can you do that?

Yes.

Can you see the bullet?

-Is it the black one?
-No, that's trash.

Look carefully, higher.

-The white one?
-Yes, that's the bone.

The bullet should be silver.

I can see it now.
It is lodged deep inside.

Dig it out.

-Dig it out?
-Yes.

Just like this?

Just like that.

Don't you need anesthetic?

Yes.

Play this video.

-Did you give me the wrong tape?
-No.

This is called Shifting Attention Method.

This is clearly a doggy style.

Do you think that I'm an idiot?

I mean this is my anesthetic.

Have you read the story of Hua Tuo,
the greatest doctor of China?

Guan Yunchang played chess
to distract himself from pain.

Now, I'm going to watch this sex tape
to distract myself from pain too.

Go ahead.

-You can watch it later.
-All right.

The bullet is too close to the bone
and there are nerves around it.

-It will be very painful, so hold it.
-Look at that man.

Why did you stop?

I want my blood
to concentrate on one part.

I don't want to lose much blood.

Forget it, just continue.

It's blocking my view.

Why don't you move it aside?

Use more force.

What? Too much force?

I wasn't talking to you.

I was talking to the man in the video.

There's so much blood.

You broke a vessel.

What should I do?

Keep watching the video.

Can you hold it?

Talk to me, ask me some questions.

Don't let me fall asleep.

I'm afraid I won't wake up
if I were to fall asleep.

What's your name?

I am called Ling Ling-chat.

You may ask some difficult questions.

Difficult?

There is a farm,

the number of chickens
is four times the ducks.

And there are nine ducks less
than the pigs.

The sum of both pigs and ducks is 67.

How many legs do the animals
on the farm have?

Let me ask you.

All right.

Who are the man and woman
in that painting?

My parents.

Why can't I see their faces?

They died when I was small.

So I don't have much memory of them.

Both of us are orphans.

That's why we can befriend each other.

Kam.

Thank you.

Don't mention it.

Hang on, don't die.

Can you turn off the air conditioner?

I feel cold.

Chat.

Chat.

Chat!

I'm lucky...

This method works every time.

Especially if you want to disinfect
and stop the bleeding.

A 224 tiny spittoon bullet?

It is only used by you.

Where is your UFO Rifle?

Don't tell me it is in your car outside?

You were the one who shot me, right?

Why did you save me then?

What is your relationship
with the man with the golden gun?

Don't ask, I won't tell you anything.

I am a spy, but I couldn't kill you.

That can only mean one thing.

Go on.

All right.

I couldn't make it
even in such a short distance.

What a poor aim.

I can't help it.

Don't bother me anymore
about killing and fighting.

I rather watch porn videos.

Just pretend that I have never met you.

Chat?

Chat, don't go! You can't go back!

Commander is the man with the golden gun.

The dinosaur's...

Why are you taller?

You finally told the truth.

You look thinner now.

It's not easy to be a traitor, right?

Miss, do you have a Band-Aid?

You're so cute.

No wonder Deputy Captain
was killed by you.

I want to see your commander.

Please show us the way.

HAVE DREAMS, BE CIVILIZED, BE ORGANIZED

Did you know that
Kam betrayed our country?

I didn't know.

Our country trusted her so much,
yet she...

Who shot you?

I believe it was done
by the man with the golden gun.

Where is Kam? Where is she?

-I don't know. She is missing.
-Goodness.

So careless.

The enemy is too cunning
that they appear everywhere.

Hey.

How is your wound?

-It will be all right.
-But you're bleeding.

Here, sign this.

Then you should go to the hospital
for treatment.

It's urgent.

-Guard, send him to the hospital.
-Yes!

You don't have to worry much.

This way, please.

What are you looking at? Hurry up.

We have been waiting for you.

Why is there an execution going on?

-Hey, let's go the other way.
-There's no need. We have arrived.

Hey.

What are you doing?

It's heavy.

What's the matter?

-It's nothing.
-What do you mean, "Nothing"?

I have a problem with it. Hey!

Don't move.

-If there's anything, you should tell me.
-All right.

Ling Ling-chat.

You signed and admitted
that you're a traitor.

As you stole our country's treasure,
you deserve capital punishment.

You'll be executed now!

Go back!

-Wait, I'm innocent!
-Wait, I'm innocent!

I didn't see
any national confidentialities.

You should have some conscience.

Everyone knows that I'm blind.

How dare you frame a blind man
in reading national confidentialities?

Listen, I'm a good friend
of Commissioner Chan.

I always have meals with him.

Wait!

-Wait!
-Wait.

-My dad is Commissioner Chan!
-That's true.

If you kill me, I'll ask him to kill you!

Ready.

Please!

No!

I'm so handsome!

-I don't want this!
-I don't want to die!

No!

Damn it!

What an ugly face!

You're so ugly!

Good shot!

Next.

My 30 years of practice
is finally useful now.

Get ready.

Do you want to kill
a martial arts hero like me?

It won't be that easy!

Ready.

Execute him now!

Take this container to the boundary
in 30 minutes.

-The buyer is waiting.
-Understood.

-Let's go.
-Okay.

Your buyer has been killed off.

Now, the skull is none of your business.

We'll send it back to Shenyang ourselves.

Surrender now,

or all of you will be killed!

The man with the golden gun,

I have caught one of your subordinates.

You better surrender now.

What the heck?

Are you even human?

Luckily, I put on a bulletproof vest!

I shouldn't have risked my life for you,
especially when you fired without telling?

You wanted to shoot me, right?

Shoot him!

An eye for an eye.

I'll cooperate with you two.

I know where he is, follow me.

BE FAITHFUL TO OUR COUNTRY

Come, I have been waiting for you.

Be careful!

I can shoot you to death this time!

Stop staring!

Show him what we have.

High-Temperature Flame!

I don't think your armor
can stand my High-Temperature Flame!

Gosh, I'm sorry.

I used up the gas last night.

I'm sorry for not informing you.

-I'm really sorry.
-What?

Are you playing around with me?
I'll blow you up!

It's your turn now!

Don't forget me!

Wonder Fist!

I shouldn't have provided you
with a good living.

You betrayed me for a butcher!

Ling Ling-chat was just killed.

Since you love him so much,

I'll send you to hell with him then!

Chat!

I know your trick!

If you do,
why didn't you tell me beforehand?

Ling Ling-chat!

Chat, are you okay?

I'm fine,
but please don't say anything cheesy.

Weren't you supposed to be executed?

I get so mad thinking about it.

You made me lose a hundred dollars!

Leave now.

Here.

-Goodbye.
-Take care.

A bad boss garners bad underlings.

Your fellows are far greedier than you!

What a shame that you are standing

in front of the words,
"Be faithful to our country."

If you, a revolting force of evil,
still exists in China,

our people won't have better lives.

I have to kill you right now!

You trash, do you think you can kill me?

"Trash"?

I used up all my days
to invent this superweapon,

Killing 3000.

It is a combination of ten killing weapons

and now, it is finally done!

Chat, step aside.

Farther.

Way farther!

Really?

I would love to see it.

Killing 3000!

Knife!

Bicycle chain!

Gun powder!

Acid! Drugs!

Gun! Grenade!

Triangle sharpener!

Each of them can easily kill you off!

Now, they are combined
into one superweapon!

Are you scared?

You crazy lunatic!

-You should have been killed.
-Wait!

Goodness!

Man-si!

Chat, you are our only hope.

Well, I have no other choice.

I have to fight alone!

A butcher's knife?

A butcher's knife!

No!

What the heck!

Let me see how powerful you are.

I will let you witness my power.

Come on.

What kind of a knife is that?

A butcher's knife.

It is used to kill beasts.

Give me five dollars of pork, please.

My stall is temporarily closed.
Come back an hour later.

One hour?

I don't think you can last
more than three minutes.

I can last more than three hours.

Chat, how about we do this
once we're home?

Don't waste any time
and this place is nice.

Just leave.

Chat, we're in trouble!

Our spy satellite is lost in space!

It is concerning the safety
of our country.

I have been newly promoted.

You wouldn't want to get me
into any trouble, right?

Come back here and help me out.

I'm currently busy with my girl.

I couldn't care less
about the country right now, Man-si.

Gosh, I have told you many times.

My name is Da Man-si!

HERO OF THE NATION,
FROM SIU PENG