Gwai ma kwong seung kuk (2004) - full transcript

Scoundrel!

What's the rush? Are you
going to be reincarnated?

You'll meet your end
sooner or later, punk!

It's hilarious.

Are we here today
to catch thieves or watch TV?

-To catch thieves.
-"Thieves"? Really?

Why are you hogging the TV then?

An income of 100 dollars a month,
including two meals.

Are you hoping for a midnight snack too?

Okay. Here, take this.

Hey.



If a fairy were to jump out
of the lamp now

and grant you a wish,

what would you ask for?

I'm so hungry and I need to urinate.

It would be great if I had
a bowl of barbecued pork rice.

I'm hungry too.

I'm going to urinate.

Urinate again?

One more time and I'll deduct your salary.

TAKEOUT
5-239790

I want to order takeout.

Two bowls of barbecued pork rice.

It's the Daikaho Antique Store.

Don't come in through the front door.



I'll open the back door for you.

No way! We'll be letting the thieves in.

Gosh, the thieves really came in.

Ouch!

Ouch!

What a waste to become thieves
at such a young age.

-Yes, a real waste.
-Yes, a real waste.

How did these two thugs come in?

I ordered takeout.

What?

"Takeout"?

You two better not die
before the age of 70.

Why?

Because I wouldn't have
deducted enough money from you!

I wish that my cousin will marry me.

I would like to marry my cousin.

I wish--

I'd like to beat Bruce Lee...

Give me that.

I want to be rich...

Learning from all those rotten movies
and rubbing this rotten lamp!

So smelly! Get rid of it!

Hello?

Aunt!

Are you mad?

My cousin who's studying
aerospace engineering in MIT

has gone mad because of overstudying.

She's now going around

our friends and relatives,
biting their noses off!

You're talking about your cousin,
Lam Ah Chan?

What's the point in telling me!
I'm not a doctor!

I want to go to America.

Do you have the money?
Are you swimming there?

Don't hope I'll lend you any.

You think this is enough
for a plane ticket?

Not a plane. A boat, maybe.

How did you save so much
with so little pay?

Where did you get the money?

I've been saving for my marriage
since I was young!

-Give it here!
-Help!

-Hey!
-Listen here, rascal...

Hey!

Don't worry, Ah Chan. I'm coming.

Sorry, director.

Do you know there are 1,969 people
queueing up to get your job?

Yes, I do.

Congratulations!

I'm Harmy Bobo, ID 7654321
from the School of Witchcraft...

Gosh!

You can call me Bobo.

I'll appear as long as
someone rubs the lamp.

I may not be fully qualified yet,
but I can still fulfill your three wishes.

Listen carefully!

In principle,
I'm able to fulfill your wishes

whether they are big or small.

But let me remind you.

Making too big of a wish is unrealistic.

On the other hand, too small of a wish
would be a real waste.

Let me give you some tips.

People usually ask for fame,
fortune, beauty

and things like that.

Is it clear for you two?

Who rubbed the magic lamp just now?

Make your wish here.

Do you know how to make a rocket?

Sure! Where do you want to have it?

There isn't much room for it here.

-Lam Ah Chan.
-Lam Ah Chan.

Who's Lam Ah Chan?

Your cousin is looking for you!
Go get him!

-There's still time!
-You can catch the boat if you hurry!

Hurry!

Wait!

My cousin is here!

This litterbug is your cousin?

My cousin was quite handsome,
but he got hexed...

But it's none of your business,
so I won't talk about it.

Excuse me, my phone is vibrating.

Hello? Yes. I'm here.

Do you think that salted fish
is top-grade?

Working on it now. Okay!

Who rubbed that lamp just now?

Make your wish to this one here.

Just make any wish so she'll go.

I can't just make any wish.

What a chore!

Wait! Let me switch on the recorder first.

Click.

Miss, just go look for your cousin, okay?

He likes playing with wireless.

But my cousin...

My cousin in here...

Hey, you guys really
don't want the wishes?

We don't want the wishes!

Hey, you shouldn't waste them!

Don't be shocked, but I'm going
to get back in through the wall.

Let me know if she really
passes through the wall.

I'm glad I went to a vocational school.

Is that how university graduates are?

Hello, School of Witchcraft?

I'm Harmy Bobo, ID 7654321.

I've got a big problem right now.

Freeze! This is a robbery!

We've got a guest!

-Move it! Hurry up!
-What are you looking at?

Strip!

Come on.

Cut me some slack. I'm a bad guy too.

Get me a pair of chopsticks.

Hey, how bad are you?

There are six chickens here.
Five of them are stolen.

You stole them?

I hate thieves.

If you have the guts, rob with a gun!

-Okay, I'll strip.
-Move it!

Boss, I couldn't find any chopsticks.
Would these straws do?

Idiot!

Did you wash your hair?

I washed it last month.

Lower your head!

Hello?

Hello, Bobo?

Hello? Hello, Bobo?

Hello?

Hello? Is that Harmy Bobo?

Hello?

Hello? Is that Harmy Bobo?

Yes! Speaking!

I've checked it for you.

There's nothing wrong
with your magic powers.

But it doesn't make sense.
There's no effect at all.

She says there's no effect.

She's fooling around! Cut her off!

Leave this aside first.
I've got a bigger problem.

The person whose wishes I want to grant
doesn't want any.

She says the person whose wishes
she wants to grant doesn't want any.

Just cut her off.
Who wouldn't want wishes?

Anyway, may I ask
how I can get back to the school?

You have no choice.
You can't return to the school

unless you grant those wishes.

What am I going to do now?

Gosh.

A gang robbery.

There's a gang robbery.

Forget about her. Hang up.

Hello?

Robbery.

Excuse me.

Since you're here, you should
at least leave some things behind.

Take off her socks too!

Hey!

Boss, the mushroom head
doesn't have anything of worth.

Hey.

Ms. Mushroom Head,
where would you like to be stabbed?

I'll shoot you
if you keep being conceited!

Left or right?

What do you mean?

Left foot or right foot?

-Turn into lotus seed...
-Left or right?

-Turn into lotus seed...
-Left or right?

-Turn into lotus seed...
-I'll choose for you!

"Turn into lotus seed"?

Mix up all their clothes! Move out!

Where's my pair of chopsticks?

Excuse me, have you seen
my pair of chopsticks?

-No.
-Have you seen my chopsticks?

No. Look for them yourself.

Boss.

My roasted goose noodles?

I forgot to bring it along.

-I'm busy looking for the governor's dog.
-Hey.

Hey!

What...

What happened to your foot?

I got shot.

What are you looking for?

-My cousins.
-Cousin sisters?

You're looking for them under the table?

You lost your cousins?

Just right. Take a seat.

We private detectives can help you out.

See. I've had a photo taken
with Governor Alexander Grantham.

Okay.

Can you describe your cousins?

They are a pair of chopsticks.
Once someone licks them,

they'll turn into humans
and take on the person's nature too.

What you're looking for is not important
as long as you have the money.

-Our charges are...
-I've got no money.

I'm just worried that they'll become bad
once they're licked by a bad person.

And I can't leave if you don't
let me grant your wishes.

How about you let me stay here?

Or just make your wishes.

We don't want to make wishes
and we won't let you stay.

I'm dead!

I can't go back to school
and I've lost my cousins!

How will I explain it to my aunt?

-Which floor is this?
-The second floor.

The second floor is okay. See how I fly!

-If I can't, I won't be seriously hurt.
-Wait, come back down.

-Will you make your wish or let me stay?
-What's the mental hospital's number?

No! Come back down.

You'll make your wish?

Let her stay.
She's Fugu's cousin after all.

If I let her stay,
I'll have to feed her too.

Deduct that from my pay.

I heard you're already in debt
until you're 70.

Make it 80 then.

It won't work.
She bites off people's noses.

You're right.

It so happened that Lassie died last week.

That sounds unlucky.

It's better than losing your nose!

-Freeze! This is a robbery!
-Freeze! This is a robbery!

-Hey, girls!
-Cut us some slack!

Hey.

You two are certainly brave!

Why don't you work for me?

-Sure!
-Sure!

Get going!

My name is Kan Yan Kin!

-We're the Chopstick Sisters.
-We're the Chopstick Sisters.

-It's already 8 a.m. Time to work.
-Oh, gosh.

Wake up, Lassie!

Good morning.

A container each.

But it's just a piece each.
That's our breakfast.

Director.

It's Sunday today and I have
a kung fu class at the youth club.

It's been weeks since you started.

When will you beat Bruce Lee?

Hello?

Mahjong this early?

You've got a dummy?

You got three of them?

Turn into a sumptuous meal...

Turn into milk...

-Sumptuous meal...
-That letter on my desk,

type it out for me.
I've got a kung fu class.

No problem.

Beat Bruce Lee...

I've got a mahjong session.
Clean up the place.

Win big...

Type automatically...

Cousin, it's so troublesome.

Nothing I do seems to work.

Cousin! Where are you off to?

Don't run all over the place!

Don't leave your mess everywhere!
I have to clean them up!

Cousin!

Cousin, you...

Please stop messing around
and come back here, okay?

Come back...

You can't do that.

Cousin!

You're bullying me when you should
be helping me! I hate you.

This won't do. I need to split up.

Split me into 20!

Harmy Bobo, ID 7654321. Give it up.

Freeze! This is a robbery!

Freeze! This is a robbery!

-We've got a guest.
-We've got a guest.

Stand still...

-Hurry up!
-Hurry up!

Anything else?

Take off all your clothes.

Wonderful!

Sorry!

I'm sorry!

I'm very sorry!

Run faster!

So sorry!

Let's go!

-Beat him!
-Beat him!

No!

Self-drawn win.

See?

Full set of flowers, a concealed hand
and Four Great Blessings.

Self-drawn win.

Triple hot. Thank you.

I should split it up into three wins.

It's too much to lose it all
in one go. Right?

Rambling on and on.

What a terrible player.

Bamboo.

I'll take this one then.

I passed up a chance to win just now.

You guys should think of a solution.

Win a game and let the dealer pass.

Otherwise, we'll be playing until dawn.

We might even finish up on New Year.

Mister, one shouldn't be so arrogant.

I was only making a few comments.

What's so arrogant about that?

What will I do without so many pockets
on my shirt?

I won't have space to put all this money!

Terrible playing style
because the player himself is terrible!

Good playing style

because the player is good.

Mix the tiles!

Mr. Cheung,
are we playing with a swindler?

Mrs. Cheung, in all likelihood.

Swindler?

I hate swindlers in gambling! Freeze!

Keep playing!

I recently adopted two goddaughters
to help me with my robbery business!

That's why I had time
to come out and play mahjong!

Who'd have thought

I'd bump into a lousy swindler?

Sir, which one of your eyes
saw me cheating you?

You want to play,
but you don't like others to win.

If they do, you threaten to kill them.

Who'll play with you then?

Okay!

You'll die if I catch you cheating!

Mister...

Let's play!

Kong!

The first claim for a quadruplet
in my life!

Mister, you still have
to discard one tile.

Hey.

You look awful.

Are you planning to cheat?

Mrs. Cheung, what did he just say?

He said he looked awful and asked
if he was planning to cheat, Mr. Cheung!

We need to be careful, then!

Hey!

Your turn.

Draw a tile.

-Go on.
-Draw one.

Draw!

Hurry up.

What's the matter?

Do you have

a ready hand?

Enough!

Did you think I didn't know?

You're playing with the same tile!

You must be cheating. Let me see!

I rarely get such a beautiful combination!

You've just ruined it!

What about me? I've got five tiles ready
for Thirteen Orphans!

What a loss!

I just wanted to know if he was cheating.

I'm so hungry.

I'm so hungry.

Don't do that! It's my supply
of breakfast for a year!

So the magic power is not lost,
just delayed!

Clean it up!

Clean it up!

-Clean it up!
-Gosh!

What's going on here?

What happened to your arm?

Don't ask. I was robbed.

You'd better clean this mess up

or the director will chase you out
when he sees this.

It's okay. It'll clean itself up.

Actually, I still have my powers.

They're just delayed.

-Come, I'll prove it to you.
-Hey!

Turn into excrement!

Sit down and watch. It'll change any time.

Why excrement?

A vase is supposed to hold flowers.

This excrement is specially for flowers.

Flowers held by it will never wilt.

It's so nice of you to sit with me
and watch the vase turn into excrement.

My cousin only harasses me.
He defecated everywhere just now.

You mean your litterbug cousin?

He's basically good
except for one nasty trait.

He's too scruffy?

He's too handsome.
Too many girls go after him.

His girlfriend won't feel secure.

He's your boyfriend?

I wish he looked ordinary like you.

-What are you doing?
-What are you doing?

-I got unlucky.
-I got unlucky.

I told you it'll clean itself up!

Why hasn't the vase
turned into excrement yet?

Scratch my back. It's itchy.

It's not just late.
There's no telling how late it'll be.

So funny!

Have we come to catch the seat vandal
or to watch the movie?

You still enjoy it
after watching it nine times?

Is it that funny?

They're going to shoo the flies soon.

That's really funny.

Goddaughters, can you read me?

This is godfather, over.

Have we bitten off more than we can chew?

We only have a few guns and some knives.

There are over a thousand people here.

Are you sure we can handle this?

Godfather, we should try it once
no matter what.

Godfather, be courageous.
We'll rush out the back alley.

Cousins?

-Cousin?
-Cousin?

What is it?

My cousins!

What are you two doing, over?

What's going on, goddaughters? Over!

What's going on, goddaughters? Over!

-Don't block us!
-Freeze!

It was your cousins
who broke my arms in the alley.

How did you two become so bad?

Bobo, please help us.
I don't want to be bad.

However bad we are,
it's none of your business!

Busybodies!

Bobo, help me!

Where are my cousins?

Over there.

Bobo, please help us.
We don't want to be bad people.

However bad we are,
it's none of your business!

Busybodies!

Bobo, help me!

You cousins are so evil!

Mister, I'm using
the walkie-talkie right now.

I'm using the walkie-talkie,
so get off now!

-Who are you?
-Who are you?

Star, sun, fish bone, crab.

I'm not getting off.
You had better get off now!

Dead chicken, skull and crossbones.

What vulgar language!

I'm going to find you!

You guys above, move now! Over!

Who are you trying to scare?

-Godfather.
-Godfather.

What's going on? A live performance?

-It's not a live performance!
-It's not a live performance!

-It's a robbery!
-It's a robbery!

-Stand up! Put your hands up!
-Stand up! Put your hands up!

-Let's applaud our godfather first!
-Let's applaud our godfather first!

Thank you, everybody!

We'll start the robbery now!

Put everything you have into the net!

Let me make myself clear first!

I hate dishonest people!

I'm going to strip search a random person!

If I find anything of value
on that person,

he'll bite the bullet!

Thank you, everybody.

I'd like to ask for another favor.

I'm looking for someone who used profanity
on me over the walkie-talkie!

I'd like everyone here
to be totally silent!

I hate people who use profanity!

Come out!

Star, sun, fish bone, crab.

The one with metal-framed glasses
and an overbite, please come forward.

I told you I'd find you.

This is...

just a radio receiver.

I was listening to the horse races.

They're out the gates?
First one is Number Three!

Followed closely by Four and Five!

I betted on Three, Four and Five
for 30.30 dollars.

Great, the three horses are leading!

Three, Four, Five...

Three, Four, Five...

You would've tricked me in the past!

But I got into horse racing recently.

I know there are no races today!

And don't think that just because
you've put on that false overbite,

I don't recognize you!

You big swindler.

You look for every chance to cheat me!

Right, I'll let you take my bullet!

Left foot or right foot?

Out of the way! I don't need your help!

I'll deal with him myself!

-Lotus seed?
-Lotus seed?

-Director!
-Director!

-Bobo, please save us.
-Bobo, please save us.

-We don't want to be bad people.
-We don't want to be bad people.

Busybodies!

Let's go!

Come here.

What is it, boss?

Boss.

Hey.

Did you do this?

The lady whose eyes we poked just now
is our cousin.

She's a fairy who specializes
in granting wishes.

We're her cousins.
We were a pair of chopsticks originally.

So let me see you
turn into a pair of chopsticks.

-We have to be scared to turn back
-We have to be scared to turn back

-into a pair of chopsticks.
-into a pair of chopsticks.

You two are really amusing.

Do you take me for a three-year-old?

What's that stench?

Which one of you hates me this much?

It must be my cousin!

I forgot to take him along.

Cousin!

Cousin! I told you
not to harass me like this!

From now on, I won't harass you anymore.

Because I've decided that

I don't want to see you
and your cousin anymore!

You're in trouble!
My cousin is very easily offended!

She's a nutcase.

How could you chase her away like this?

It'll be great if she does go away!

What if she doesn't return?

I'll let you be the director, okay?

-I'm going after her.
-Hey!

Help me take off my trousers
and get me some jelly first.

Come on.

Come on.

What happened today
just makes me so angry!

-Can I go after her now?
-Yes.

Wait.

What now?

It's not sweet enough. Get me some sugar.

-Cousin?
-Cousin?

Hey.

Why you...

-Hey.
-Hey.

Hold on. Wait!

Actually, I threw you out because
I thought you'd be bored in the house.

Actually, I was quite nice
to your cousin sister.

You've seen it, right?

I yelled at her just now
only for her own good.

I didn't want her to become bad.

I actually love her very much.

Don't judge me by how I am on the outside.

I may be harsh with my words,
but I'm a softy at heart.

I'm sure you can see that, right?

Hey.

Thank you.

Try out my giant waterbed.

It's very soft.

Feels like you're floating.

It's great.

Actually, when you're not around,

Fugu and I would often come in
to lie on it

and enjoy it for a bit.

That's okay.

Come in and enjoy it
whenever you feel like it.

Float for a bit.

Actually, I've lived a good life.

When I was born, we were desperately poor.

Look at how much I have now.

Actually, must a person
float about so much in life?

One can get dizzy
by floating around too much.

That's right.

Why must I float around
every night like this?

I've been floating around
like this for decades.

If the litterbug is her cousin,

then she's not Lam Ah Chan, right?

She's the fairy!

Hong Kong is so big!

How will we find her?

You've met my cousin, right?
I'm not a nutcase.

-Are you going to make a wish?
-Yes, sure.

What wish?

The first one
has always been money. Click.

-Strike the lottery!
-The second would be a woman.

-What's your type?
-Sex bomb!

The third one!

Any tips?

You can wait a bit if you're not ready.

Actually, you don't have to rush it.

I think you were too impulsive
for the first two.

You should've thought it over first.

What about you?

Your first wish. Take your time with it.

I'd like to have barbecued pork rice.

Are you serious? Barbecued pork rice?

Let me inform you again.

Only one of you
has the right to make wishes.

He's the one whose wishes will come true.

Who is it at this time of the night?

BLOCK B

What am I doing here?

Right! I've come to look for
my cousin, Fugu.

A sex bomb?

Excuse me, I'm looking for...

Excuse me, I'm looking for...

I'm sorry, I don't know
who I'm looking for.

Where's this place?

Where am I?

Why am I here?

Who am I?

I know!

You're the imaginary figure
that I created.

Hello, my name is Harmy Bobo.

I'm the fairy who made you appear.

He's your master, the director.

I'm rich! When I strike the lottery,
I'll buy you some barbecued pork rice.

I was created out of nothing?

I'm not real?

I'm fictional.

You're my master? The director?

Yes, that's me! Wonderful!

Good morning, master.

You took so much time cooking.
Why are they still raw?

This oil is uncooked.

You're mixing soy sauce with uncooked oil,
cooked and uncooked oil...

If you don't like it, I'll cook it then.

It's time for the quiz show.

I love watching it.

The special "Lucky Boost"
of the Collegiate Quiz Competition

will begin now.

This is from Yan Yan Primary School.

The first question.

What's the velocity for a rocket
to offset gravity?

Forty thousand kilometers.

The answer is
forty thousand kilometers per hour.

What is an atomic bomb made of?

Uranium 235.

That's right. Uranium 235.

Great!

Black hole! Relativity Theory!

Emperor Guangxu! Akira Kurosawa!

Ice age! Fantasia!

Please answer, Ming Ming Elementary.

The first question.

Three of Character One,
three of Character Nine,

one each of Characters Two, Three, Four,
Five, Six, Seven and Eight.

How many possibilities of a win?

Nine.

Nine is right.

Director, you're amazing!

It's French. She says you're amazing.

If you know French,
then you'd definitely know English.

What about Thai?

Director, you're so smart.

And Vietnamese?

You're the world's most amazing man.

You wouldn't know Tibetan, would you?

Genius Director, you're amazing.

Wait a minute, director. You're so great.

Boss, you're really amazing.

She may be very knowledgeable,
but does she know martial arts?

She's great!

It's just her cooking that's a bit raw.

It's not so good to peep
at people bathing.

But she's imaginary, so it's okay.

And I'm her master.

There's nothing between us.

When did you become so controlling?

Leave me alone!

Don't worry!
I'm not here to rob this time.

I'm here to relax.

Where'd you go?

I'm so mad at my cousin.
He accused us of flirting with each other!

No, we didn't!

That's right. We didn't!

Your twin goddaughters
are lively and cute!

Your girl is very elegant too!

Not only that!

She's a linguist and a martial artist!
She's very talented!

That's amazing!

So would she know how
to build planes and artilleries?

Let's ask her.

Can you build airplanes?

-Sure.
-She does.

-And artilleries?
-Sure.

-She knows.
-What about rockets?

I don't know.

I don't know how to build rockets!

Can you give me back my gum?

-There's trouble.
-There's trouble.

-What's wrong, Sex Bomb?
-I can't build rockets!

Does your girl need some medication?

Miss...

-Godfather!
-Godfather!

Sex Bomb!

No!

My goddaughters!

Cousins!

My goddaughters!

Where are my goddaughters?

No need to build rockets

if you don't know how.

Please don't scare me.

My goddaughters!

Where are my goddaughters?

-Boss, it's the police!
-Boss, it's the police!

Let's go!

I can't build a rocket.

I don't know how.

Officer, she's imaginary.
She's not a real person.

-She created her.
-I'm a fairy.

Any more nonsense
and you go to the mental hospital!

It feels like I've been dreaming.

-Little scoundrel?
-Fugu?

Is he one of those who rubbed the lamp?

Ah Chan, man has landed on the moon.

See?

-You little scoundrel...
-Quiet!

One small step for a man,
one giant leap for mankind.

Ah Chan,

I believe you must be somewhere on earth

watching TV.

You can't find Ah Chan?

The American astronaut
is telling us his feelings.

I wonder when Hong Kong will send
their first astronaut to the moon.

In 2020.

How would you know?

Have you forgotten that I'm a fairy?

If a fairy really exists in this world,

-my first wish would be...
-Click.

to take a photo with

and get an autograph of
Hong Kong's first astronaut

as a present for Ah Chan.

Hong Kong TV News
is published every Thursday

and only costs 30 cents.

Director...

Did you just yell at me?

You rebel...

Don't hold it against the director.
He's in a bad mood.

The girl he likes has been taken
to the mental hospital.

She suddenly went mad
while he was dancing with her.

She almost bit his nose off.

-She even bites off noses?
-She's pitiful.

The girl even knows the velocity for
a rocket to go against gravity and fly.

She's multilingual

and she is a tae kwon do expert.

She's just like my cousin.

Yes, that's her.

She's your cousin?

Didn't you say you created
this fictional character?

Didn't I?

It was my aunt
who gave birth to my cousin!

She's been sent to the mental hospital!

She even danced with the director!

What's with all the noise?

You danced with my cousin!

Stop.

I'm going to strangle you!

It's my fault!

I told the director that
I had created your cousin!

-I want to make a wish!
-Click!

Go back in time when the director
never loved Fugu's cousin!

Click!

My second wish, strangle the director!

Third wish, strangle the director!

Your sex bomb is actually
Fugu's cousin, Lam Ah Chan.

I thought you said
no one gave birth to her.

I'll have a look at the two of them.

I'm in deep trouble.

I shouldn't frighten myself.

Maybe the wishes don't belong to him.

A lot has happened today.

Something else has just happened.

My cousin wants to talk to you.

Cousin.

Cousin, you must promise me this.

No matter how the conversation goes,
you won't eat him.

I'm really scared now.

But I've also truly fallen
in love with your cousin, Bobo.

Though I knew

from the start that you're her boyfriend

and that I shouldn't butt in,

I just couldn't control my feelings.

I know it's very unfair to you.

We really didn't mean to hurt you.

Though we've only just started,

I can promise you this.

I will never disappoint your cousin.

I'm sorry, Cousin.

I hope you can forgive my selfishness.

Please let us be together.

Cousin, I've grown up now.

And you're too handsome
for the likes of me.

Cousin...

I must visit Ah Chan.

Hey!

A small step on the moon,
a giant leap for Hong Kong people!

This heroic astronaut
will always be Hong Kong's!

He's planting our flag on the moon!

A significant moment
in Hong Kong's history!

Hero astronaut, can you describe
your feelings to us?

Honored.

Hero astronaut,
can you tell us a bit more?

Proud.

Well said, hero!

Having a part in this
significant moment in history

makes me honored and proud too!

Our hero astronaut has been attacked
by something unknown!

Hero astronaut!

Hero astronaut!

Hero astronaut!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Why did that rascal disappear, fairy?

He went to meet with
the astronaut in 2020.

He's the one
who has the right to the wishes!

Why him and not me?

Do you remember
his second and third wishes?

-"Strangle the director."
-"Strangle the director."

Oh, no! This is a disaster!

There's no taking back a wish that's
been made. It has to be fulfilled.

Fugu will return anytime now
to strangle the director to death!

-Where are you going?
-I don't know. As far away as I can.

It's useless. However far you go,
Fugu will still come for you.

He will surely get you in the end
because he made those wishes.

You can't blame me then.

It's better if he dies than I do!

I'll beat that rascal to death
once he shows up!

I'll beat that rascal to death
once he shows up!

It's no use. Even if you do
beat him to death,

he'll still strangle you before that
because he's already made his wish.

What kind of a fairy are you?

What kind of wishes did you give him?

Come on, think of something.

Calm down.

Look for the salted fish!

Call the School of Witchcraft!

You don't look for it! Hide!

Where do I hide?

-No!
-The cage!

Okay, go find the salted fish.

Don't panic. It'll be fine.

It'll be fine.

What can happen? It's okay.

Director, I went to the moon just now.

I even had a photo taken
with the hero astronaut.

-Took a photo?
-Why are you strangling me?

If you managed to go to the moon,
you'll be able to strangle me too!

I'd rather you die than I do.

Strangle me?

I'll strangle you...

I'll strangle you...

I found it!

Who cut my salted fish?

Fugu steamed your salted fish.

Stop it!

Turn into a phone...

Everybody, freeze!

We're not here to rob,
but to catch people.

Bring the cage along!

My twin goddaughters told me

one of you has been given three wishes!

I'm not asking for much!
I just want one wish!

I want my goddaughters back!

You guys discuss it among yourselves!

Bobo, is there any way you can make
your cousins come back for him?

He's gone crazy missing the girls.

My aunt has taken them away!

Well, cousin fairy?

Aren't you afraid of her
knowing she's a fairy?

I've gone so crazy missing the girls
that I'm not even afraid of fairies!

Well, fairy?

I really don't know
how to return my cousins to you!

No matter what, don't admit
to having those wishes!

Who among you has those wishes?

-Neither of us have them.
-We don't.

Mr. Honesty, do you have any wishes?

No.

You two, who's the one with the wishes?

Both of us have it.

Liar!

My twin goddaughters told me
only one person has the wishes!

Cousin fairy, do you know
which one of the two has it?

I do, but I won't tell you.

How do I know what you'll do to him?

You two.

Little rascal.

I'm going to rob you of your wish now.

There's no more.
My first wish was to go to the moon.

My second and third wishes
were to strangle the director.

-I have no more.
-I hate dishonest people!

I'm giving you three minutes
to strangle him!

If you fail, that means you're lying!

And I'll shoot you dead then.

You can begin now!

Strangle you...

Get going!

I can't drive.

-Check the rear-view mirror.
-Check the rear-view mirror.

-Start the engine and step on the clutch.
-Start the engine and step on the clutch.

-Move the stick-shift.
-Move the stick-shift.

-Move the stick-shift.
-Move the stick-shift.

Director...

Get out!

Don't move.

The car will trap people.

If you don't strangle him, you die!

You have...

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six,

five, four, three, two,

-one.
-I can't!

Time's up.

If he doesn't die, then you...

Bobo, think of something.

I can't, even though I'm a fairy.

You rascal!

You're no different!

I've had it!

You still refuse to give me back
my twin goddaughters?

Okay, I'll send all of you to heaven!

Who's going first?

You're not choosing? I'll choose then!

You go first!

I'd rather go first!

Okay, you go first then!

Hey.

Litterbug, I've gone crazy
missing my goddaughters

that I'm not even afraid of you!

Cousin!

Telephone.

-Telephone.
-My salted fish!

Telephone.

Hello?

Harmy Bobo, what's going on?

How can a person die twice?

It doesn't make sense!

How about deleting it?

Yes! Okay!

-She really can't graduate.
-I agree.

Fugu, you've been given two new wishes,
so you can wish all over again. Click!

You must not be impulsive
with these things. Think carefully.

I wish Ah Chan gets better soon.

Excuse me!

-Ah Chan!
-Sex Bomb!

I have no time for love.

I hope to send Hong Kong's first astronaut
to the moon in 2020!

I have only got 50 years left!
There's not enough time!

Bye!

Once Fugu has made his third wish,
you'll have to return to the school.

I won't see you then.

That's right.

My third wish is...

Click!

You didn't even let me say goodbye to her!

What wish did you make?

I wished that everyone was given a wish.

I'm the principal
of the School of Witchcraft.

You've all been given one wish.

You first.

Principal, I'd like to be rich.

So do you prefer to reap without sowing
or start from scratch?

To reap without sowing would be great!

So, do you want health along with wealth?

I want to be healthy!

So, do you want to be rich
as well as be healthy?

So, is it okay to be wealthy and healthy?

One wish.

Then, I wish to be happy all my life.

So, do you wish for unpleasantness
along with your happiness?

No.

If you don't want anything unpleasant,
how will you appreciate happiness?

Director?

My name is Fugu.

Principal, I'd like to learn wizardry.

I'd like to learn wizardry.
I want to see Bobo again.

That would be great!

Principal, I wasn't given a wish.

Can I learn wizardry?

Since you all want to learn wizardry,
I might as well learn it too.

Principal! He keeps imitating you!

What?

Rascal. He's good at it.

Okay.

Your wishes are granted.

Welcome, all, to the School of Witchcraft.

I hope all your dreams
and wishes come true.

Subtitle translation by Elaine