Guerillas in Pink Lace (1964) - full transcript

(60s Guitar Music)

i go to 1500... and raise you a thousand

I'll go there

well i think i've got the best hand 
but i'm a little short on money

i'll tell you what i've got something better 
than that i've got a way out of this hell hole

a pass from the military

so? so what do i think it's worth?

with what's in the pot plus another 
thousand. winner take all. okay by me

okay by me too

castle full of queens

i'd heard tell that fortunes were made 
and lost here in the orient in a matter of



minutes hours. well that point had just been 
proven i lost my fortune in about two hours.

before long i was to find out there were still 
some who just wouldn't believe that i was busted

(Jazz Club Music)

(Applause)

(Dramatic Music)

vanilla the heart of the far east 27 
days after pearl harbor the word for it

chaos do you expect us to wait 
here until the japanese take over

madam i am only the desk clerk and 
you owe me 2.50 on your bill. i... am not going to pay it! what do you mean?

are you all right?

is there... is there something i can do?

shall i call a doctor? my good 
man if i understand you properly

you're suffering from an over indulgence of the 
night before now let me let me recommend a remedy

it's a special formula of an old benedictine monk 
i once knew take a raw egg and beat it up in a

warm cup of bacon fat and swallow it down 
quickly and follow it with a glass of sour milk



i hope i didn't say the wrong thing

hope you didn't mind my uh telling you

about the remedy just don't mention 
that old benedictine monk again

ah those poor people all rushing 
to find the way out of manila

who wouldn't with a million japs breathing 
down their necks they're rushing me out of

vanilla and i don't really want to go you 
mean you've got a way out yes i have a pass

you see my parishioners are here 
they'll need me at a time like this

how tall are you padre huh oh

something over six foot i suppose why 
do you ask oh i uh i was just thinking

nah that would never work i should stay 
give the pass to someone more needy i said

you know padre you are absolutely right you know 
pretty soon there's going to be a lot of shooting

going on around here a lot of people dying they're 
going to need you here exactly you know padre

i have a sudden desire to want to help you out 
of your predicament help me yes i know the top

man at the airport one word from me and i know 
he'll give that pass to some deserving soul

you're so understanding but you have to hurry play 
leaves this afternoon do you happen to have those

papers or pass on you by any chance it's in my 
room oh but i'll get it no no no no no i'll be

happy to get it for you how good are you room 18 
it's so you just stay there i'll be right back

what a nice man

those passes should have been 
here an hour ago would you please

call the embassy excuse me excuse me ah 
yes yes i believe that all paid up here ah

and this envelope colonel davis left for you i 
think it's those passes for you and the house is

i would like to see those passes oh what seems to 
be the trouble he wants to see some passes passive

silently

now remember just take what you 
need the rest will be shaped

boy maxine i sure hope the girl doesn't change 
his mind but take away our space on the plane

don't worry about it i don't 
think he'll welch on it

bless you my good man you are so understanding

oh hello father bless you sister

good afternoon got an idea oh father would 
you wait just a moment for me please they're

in luck they can live with this priest and nobody 
will bother us praised hey nobody will bother us

father what are you doing on that fire escape 
mercy me i could have sworn i smelled smoke

i guess i was mistaken come 
along father perfectly safe

now hold it honey i mean the young young 
young ladies you you must be more careful

i i think i forgot my car how dare 
they i'm going to call my senator

i'm going to call mine too wait 
wait now ladies and gentlemen i

i've never had mercy oh yeah all those poor 
people rushing to find a way out of manila

what do you mean where have 
you been playing come on

come on we only had two days we're playing 
then well charlie get upstairs and get back hey

thank you for getting going i'm not going i'm 
married i'm legal you're crazy i'm got to get it

oh what a lovely hat you do have where did you get 
such a hat i got this hat in the gypsy illinois

poughkeepsie it's a lovely hat i must get one 
of those for a friend of mine oh father i forgot

all about you thank you very much for kind of 
escorting that well that was my pleasure ladies

you see i told you he wouldn't forget look at 
that red cross all right everybody on the bus song

oh i understand that you're 
going out of the airport yes

well i perhaps you wouldn't mind getting 
in here oh no the top support thank you

uh so miss maxine here i'm 
matt being right here uh

fine have your girls get their passports 
and all their papers ready to make it

a little easier to check them through the 
colonel will be alone in a minute thank you

how about me my good man uh yes you too father 
uh we'll hurry your papers right along thank you

hi you got lipstick on your 
kernels hey collard colonel i do

you weren't so nervous the 
other night sweetheart ugh

if anybody hears about this i'll be 
shocked first in court marshall later

the deal's the deal even in wartime get your deals 
ready take offs in a few minutes no i'm gonna miss

trigger

your papers are in order miss papers 
are anonymous thank you wait for me

hello sister oh father bye buddy

oh sergeant could you see that this gets 
back to the hotel please certainly father

it's very important father was good 
he's yes yes yes father is good

that that's my brother twin twin 
brother i see i'll see that he gets

have you cleared the young ladies yet yes oh uh 
father say excuse me father you sure look familiar

haven't we met some place before i'm afraid not 
colonel you see my my parish is located in the

deepest of jungle this is father osgood colonel 
brother this is colonel davis how do you do

that certainly is strange very strange 
i could have sworn that that face

well i guess in days like these anybody 
can get confused yes confused shanghai

the name wasn't as good no no i can't say is i've 
been to that fair city colonel everything's in

order padre you can board now thank you my good 
man thank you it's all right father have a good

a trip 74 year old man don't you think colonel 
he's 74 years old that's what his papers say

shanghai why you bubble brained idiot will both be 
shot but sir what do i remember who this joker is

he took me for 1800 bucks in shanghai

murphy that's a man of the claw ah the only cloth 
he's ever seen is a green cloth on a dice table

i'm sure happy we're on our way i can 
say that again australia here we come

are you showgirls uh well that's not a special 
tag uh actually uh we're exotic dancers

as strippers well i mean that is the term this 
is the slang term i'm leaving oh father i think

you have it all bro or we may display a little 
agar but we do not exactly bump and grind correct

she's jane she's marguerite 
we also zing and i just

we are artists yes i'm quite sure you are

do

oh

oh

your seat belts

um

um

oh

he's got all my legs

i think he's coming too he is father

the plane crashed

are there are any others yes but we must 
have used it arguing tonight at least we're

all together thank the lord for that now if we 
only knew where we were or where we're going

well if i'm i'm not mistaken we're still 
someplace in the philippine islands

it shouldn't be too long before we spot land

hey isn't that land

what is it father i was just wondering 
if there were any of our little japanese

friends on that island how do you cook 
them well medium or charcoal broiled

i'm so hungry i could eat a cannibal we'll have to 
drift out here until after dark and then move in

father would you would you 
would you hear my confession

your confession

that's a shame maybe later in private is is 
that a real life gun yes it is gee father

i never knew a father who carries a real life gun 
father well you see this uh this jungle that i

operate in it was pretty rough well what 
i mean is this uh this jungle where where

i had my parish it was it was pretty rough i 
guess so i mean the black eye and everything oh

i think we can start rowing in now

uh down eat me over there by the 
trees now take everything with you

i'll deflate the raft and be there in a minute

father over here

father are you all right i think we're safe here

we'd better find a place for the night then 
we'll look around the first thing in the morning

bobby you're catholic my what 
your guesses whoa oh the robe

well good morning sisters

to cut it in half

hey this is really living 
isn't it breakfast in bed wow

you know what if he wasn't a priest and he was 
alone on this tropical island with all of us

wow and say that again wow you 
amaze me father well miss when

when you kicked around i mean when you've had 
as many experiences as i've had in this world

nothing would be too amazing and i thought that 
the men of the cloth sort of plugged themselves up

in monasteries and just red and red gee isn't it 
great i mean all those crocodiles and everything

now listen girls even though 
he's a man he's also a priest

i mean he isn't supposed to be a man i mean 
he isn't supposed to be uh interested in girls

except in a very fatherly way confession 
is okay don't tell him everything okay

well how about some papaya

thank you oh um it's a very nice stream down 
below after you young ladies have finished

and you'd like to go down there and cool off but 
remember stay close together and if you get lost

around here we can be in real trouble did you hear 
that girls i just stay close together and from now

on father osgood is the boss anything he says go 
well let's just sort of think of me as sort of a

temporal advisor if i can comfort any of 
you in any way well feel free to come to me

you are so sympathetic and kind father i hope 
i can always come to you when i need you well

you can certainly count on my confidence 
and please do come to me whatever you desire

thank you father i shall i'm ready for 
the water oh me too yes i i think we

maybe all had better cool off a little 
bit now just remember stay close together

oh oh oh my feet these waters are 
hot sister i could carry you oh

thank you anyway father it's not very far is 
it no no no it's not much further let's move on

there's the river watch your step

watch these rocks are slippery 
easy desert hang on i mean sister

give me your hand sister these rocks are slippery 
whoops i have you well last but not least oh

this is like something i would saw in a tarzan 
movie well let's just hope he's not here gee

i don't know about this silence plumbing but 
the bathtubs are great well we're okay for now

girls if you want to sort of wash up and cool 
off go ahead i'll uh keep an eye on the trail

okay girls coolest hallelujah 
my feet are killing me

i wonder if i could confess a little something 
well you could start with the colonel what

i'll cut it out i was only kidding

hey josie take it easy you may have to 
leave it in a hurry oh it's so gorgeous

wow

all that lush and beauty i have to be 
father or as good the kindly country priest

a lot of laughs

and the twins margarita strong silent 
title their sister jane what a double hero

well there's josie

well i'll just have to kind of break it 
to him gently that should be a lot of fun

josie oh booey i don't see what's so terrible 
about the human body like to swim in my birthday

so

hey i think something's wrong

hurry hi there's a jeff soldier coming

hurry hurry pick up all your 
things we've got to hide fast

crying out loud come out i don't have any clothes 
on i don't give a what you don't have on come out

well all right but turn 
around are you crazy get out

josie josie come

all of you get down

get down

just

so

this

so

father

oh

then

i'm

he's leaving do you think you could 
find a place where we were last night

yeah i'm sure we can meet me 
there don't leave anything behind

oh oh thank you father oh thank 
you father well thank you sister

thank you sister better get those on

hurry on up there

oh

me

oh

so

oh

me

vodka

me

time

he has been gone a long time huh

so

think something could have happened to him 
what are we gonna do without the father when

you stop with my nerves your being nervous 
is making me nervous so don't make me nervous

now if you'll all just relax i'm sure he'll 
be back all we have to do is wait wait

hey father all's good father oh father 
all's good is everything all right up

here yes we were beginning to be worried 
a little what about you well i'm all right

i'm afraid i've got some bad news well there's 
a [ __ ] radio shack on the island well that

louses up this little island we might as well drag 
out the raft again and look for another sandbox

well maybe not as far as i could tell there are 
only two on the island maybe we could capture them

with what you got honey you 
could capture a whole regiment

no no i i think for the time being it's best 
if we just sort of stay out of their way don't

don't let on that we're even here i don't 
think we have too much to worry about

there are only two of them and frankly i think 
they're they're both as loony as bed bugs

they're undoubtedly in constant radio contact 
with the mainland now if we try to get rid of

them their superiors would figure something 
was wrong and come here to check on them see

well we could just be in boku trouble what would 
happen then we could probably play musical chairs

with a whole japanese army yeah that's that's 
about it so the best thing for now is to sort of

uh play hide and seek with them which means we're 
gonna have to maintain a sentry system as a matter

of fact it might be a good idea to sort of study 
their habits find out what they do during the day

well if we're lucky we could sort of share 
this island without them even knowing it

well um another thing we're gonna have 
to do is find a safe place to stay

and i think i've done that so let's move

easy here boy my feet hurt

at this point i'd rather surrender than 
take another step well it's just a few

more feet girls if you feel you can make it 
so let's go just stay together and keep quiet

well there it is there wasn't a new home 
it's not exactly the waldorf astoria

but as long as we're together we 
should try to make the best of it

the last one in pull down the 
lid come girl follow father

i think the father slipped his 
lid our suite is just ahead dear

dear sister all right honey come on

oh i think we are here

oh how crazy i closed the lid father you don't 
have a thing to worry about well that's good

oh i just love fresh cut flowers

this is it snazzy

uh honey that was me

well this isn't exactly like home but we'll 
just have to call it that for the time being

yeah you're quite right father just how long 
would you say the time being will be being

well it's uh that's going to be kind of hard 
to say you know i think we can have a fire

here tonight leaves will sort of filter the 
smoke i don't think we can be seen i'll uh

go out and round up some wood perhaps one of you 
girls should come along and sort of stand watch

the rest of you sisters can sort of clean up 
around here and make yourselves comfortable

after you uh father would you mind because 
in case of snakes i'm just terrified snakes

snakes do you think we really need firewood 
yes father we didn't need firewood definitely

all right girls up up up sooner we clean this up

up the sooner we can rest would 
you hang these in the closets

oh we're gonna play house i'll vacuum

you know i could be happy 
here for about two minutes

ouch what what is it my hair is cut oh oh 
never fear my dear daddy is here oh i mean

father will get a news for you not just just hold 
it hold it you really do have that card all right

you know father this could really be fun of 
course if it was any other man but who you are

but then the girls would really 
hate me who were they well of course

after all we are all girls and no man except for 
you father but you don't really can't be a priest

gloria yes father do you have to 
call me that well you are a priest

maybe there's uh there's 
something i should tell you

suppose i told you that you didn't have to let my 
being a priest bother you i don't understand well

i mean is uh suppose we just let well 
they sort of accept the fact that

you're a woman and i'm a man and just kind of let 
nature take its own course father why father how

could you well no no not don't don't get excited 
what i mean is i'm not going on being a priest all

my life please now look i never was a priest 
hey you're you're pretty much okay in my book

father i know what it is i know what terrible 
desires are racing to your mind oh you do

oh you are so right as i said you're a woman and 
i'm a man but i have to for both of us for you and

for me think of your traditional i can't let you 
forsake your sacred world in the heat of passion

no no father i know you will try to convince me 
give us any kind of an excuse i won't let you

you won't eh no nothing to shave my faith in you 
i know it will be very difficult and trying father

you you have no idea how trying and difficult 
it's going to be no no no just let's be calm

try to think of mr sister or a cousin or something

even thinking of you as a brother isn't 
going to help couldn't we at least hold hands

the father father i must try and 
forget that you are a healthy

big warm-blooded man the only 
man on this island have a banana

firewood

hmm

we have got to observe our 
enemies habits go on and watch

brother habits are the same any matches

no matches not in here either not a match 
amongst us well we're gonna have to eat

something besides fresh fruit i guess we have 
to figure on being here a while huh father

maybe years we won't get back oh come 
on now girls it's not as bad as all that

we don't think of a way out want her 
father oh sure sure it'll be no time at all

you know i think i'll run down the 
[ __ ] radio shack and look around

maybe i can pick up a couple matches eaten 
some food cheer you girls up but what if they

see you what about you i mean i mean us all 
alone up here but you'll be quite safe here

just don't go wandering off 
anywhere i'll be back in a jiffy

oh

god but i see no games oh

what's up um

oh

oh

laughs

operator

oh shut up

don't disconnect this is emergency this 
is emergency we're on a small island

it's called san miguel on the map 
latitude about 10 longitude about 120.

i'm stuck here with five american frauds 
women the sure you are sisters i'll bet

it's real tough too there's there's a colonel 
colonel davis field he could confirm the fight

i could be in trouble

okay

um

dragon

foreign

(Chimes)

(Comical Music)

oh really

boys

oh sisters oh father is everything 
okay i've got a surprise for

i managed to sneak into the [ __ ] radio shack and

i contacted the good old u.s 
navy and we got some french

what's that fresh meat

you gotta kill them to eat them 
well that's ridiculous we can't do

i go

if they miss him you girls can go back to sleep 
okay mac your prince charming or something

you come back again i'll take care of 
you personally all right mike this time

i want you to stay put see you take care of 
your homework i'll take care of mine okay

oh

thinking it's good for you all right 
six one two one two one two four

tip from stiff phone yeah i'll believe it

what is it what is it wow we're surrounded by 
jacks faster faster faster faster faster faster

during the night a million a million well maybe 
not a million but this whole place is covered

what do they do father i don't know we've 
just gotta think we've gotta come up with

we'll come up with something

why don't we

surrender

oh no that wouldn't do any good nobody's gonna 
surrender at least twice not right now look

i've still got a couple of cards by a couple 
of aces this game isn't over by a damn sight

long long shot

we better start praying you lead father greed

in prayer

maybe we'd all better just 
pray in in silence or you know

that way we'll have six prayers going for us

when it starts getting dark

another one

father he's too small i don't care 
that's all you get but that's only 11.

that's it besides 11 is my lucky number oh

come on get your pants on

that's a lousy fit i don't care just 
grab what you can find and let's go

we've got to move out of here hurry get rid 
of everything that isn't uniform let's move

keep going grab your pants and start running

foreign

hi

i think they're sending us a 
message father that's close

that's close

(Explosion)

um

oh wait a minute oh wow

father i don't think they are very 
safe here i think you are right

there is no place safe on this whole damned 
island father damned what are we gonna do

i don't know i saw this cowboy 
an indian western movement and

and the cowboy he snuck right into 
the middle of the indian camp and he

never got caught how much closer to 
the middle do you think we could get

shelter please oh josie this is serious 
now i always think of his crazy things

hold it hold it hey you know 
she may have something there

i think we can get closer look there are a 
bunch of crates and boxes and and trucks and

all that stuff and there are many of them i 
think we can get closer right into the middle

of it let's let's move out that way get your 
helmets away get your hair under the helmet

christopher

father i wanted to talk to you about him

what happened up front i stumbled

all right get your helmet on and from now 
on i lead guess your father you are the boss

now as soon as those guards move 
out we move in up look like jab suit

i think this box is empty get up underneath

for me

oh it's so hot and stuffy here's a rock raise 
the box a little a little more okay okay

ouch sorry oh that's all right father

how long do you think we will be here i don't 
know maybe until dawn come on oh i'm so hungry

quiet now remember one thing we're gonna 
have to be in here and that is quiet

look i'm gonna try to go back 
to that [ __ ] radio shack and

get to that radio maybe i can contact the u.s navy 
all right i'm trying to be careful raise it up

ah

shut up

now

so

hmm

come on

so

hi

foreign

oh

mom

uh

ah

oh

don't panic

uh

sorry will you be more careful well 
what happened did you get the name

oh sorry i'm afraid we have no chance no chance

just remember that we have but 
one life to give for our country

i'm afraid this is it but before we go we're 
gonna give them a party that they'll never forget

finally we'll move the box back into the trees

hmm

okay

she

here take the gun

nice

next

thanks

okay move back against the bank

wait here

over here

(Gunshots)

okay

could i join

ah

oh

don't you think you ought to keep one for us

i think we better pray

our fathers who aren't in heaven or 
wherever you might be i hope you hear me

i'd like you to to help help them

well if you think you can't

thank you

(Birds Chirping)

shhh

wait here

hmm

foreign

what happened our little japanese friends decided

to leave this island just 
for us you girls and myself

hello mother goose this is murphy on 
sam miguel come in murphy do you read me

over read you loud and clear sir over i've got 
general robinson here he'd like to talk to you

general robinson roger roger put him on general 
robinson hello there this is general robertson

mrs murphy recognition of the tremendous job 
you and your men are going against the enemy

you've earned a unit citation you're also now 
an official combat unit of the armed forces

now aren't your major in the us army your code 
name meanwhipping rock we could use a few more

hairy chests and outfits like yours keep up 
the good work don't let him get you down yes

sir general we're pulling back to australia he is 
murphy he's not father as good well i can i've got

oh maybe i can dig up a box of cigars yeah well 
general i um i think a box cars would be just fine

you should have heard what i 
was gonna tell him he's he's

just playing murphy it's just a man just a man. oh yes.

i'm gonna call you baaaaack

yes... I mean no general, no. Age before... beauty

okay okay okay i i give up