Guarding Tess (1994) - full transcript

Doug is a Secret Service Agent who has just completed his stint in charge protecting Tess Carlisle, widow of a former U.S. President, and close personal friend of the President. He finds that she has requested that he not be rotated but instead return to be her permanent detail. Doug is crushed. He wants off her detail. She is very difficult to guard and makes her detail crazy with her whims and demands. Doug returns with no idea of how to continue dealing with her.



I'm going.

I thought I'd say good-bye.

Gentlemen, again,
all the best.
Take good care.

Good luck and good-bye.

It's been fun.

Here you go, sir.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

I'm here to see the director
of the Secret Service.
MAN: Okay, thanks.

Is there any place
where I could put my bags?

Yeah, take them
right through there.

Thank you.

MAN: Congratulations, Doug.
You've done a terrific job
on a tough detail.

Thank you, sir.
It wasn't that tough actually.

Summersville, Ohio,
is not exactly the center
of the universe,

but it's a nice,
quiet, little place.

Guarding Mrs. Carlisle
did give me the time

to pick up more hours
towards my master's.
Oh, great.

Now I am hoping for a little
more active assignment,
maybe back in the White House.

Or a criminal assignment
out of New York or LA.

Sure. Why don't
we sit over here.

Yes, sir.


Yes, sir?
Can we have
some coffee, please?

Just a moment.

How is she these days?
What's she like?

there's the public person
who's, you know, adored.

Then there's the private
person who can, at times, be
pretty difficult to deal with

if you don't know how
to handle the situation.

And you did.
As well as anybody,
I suppose.

I don't envy my replacement,
I'll tell you that.

On the other hand, I was
in her husband's White House,
and I saw her in better times.

She has her good days
and her bad days now.

I guess you could say she's

several different
personalities in one,
like many people.

One of her personalities
called the White House
last night

and asked the president if he
could arrange for you to stay
on with her for another tour.

The president?

I can't go back there.

I can't do
three more years there.

I can't do
three more minutes there.

It's-- It's...
I mean, it's...

The worst assignment there is
in the service.

Then we've got a problem,

because the president
is asking you to
return to Mrs. Carlisle

as a personal favor to him.

What if I say no?

I'll call him and tell him,
um, you said no.

Why don't you take
a moment to think it over?
I'll check on the coffee.


In New Jersey, ice kept
three dolphins trapped

in an inland waterway

frustrating rescuers
efforts to free the animals...

Who's got the Columbus paper?

Just checking my horoscope.

Frederick, I've told you
a thousand times,

she can tell if someone's
read it before her.


Morning, Doug.
What are you doing here?

Long story.

Everything okay
in Washington, Doug?

Just back to pick up
your accoutrement?

Speak English, Fred.

Just back to pick up
your shit?

No smoking, Earl.

Why can't I smoke?
She never comes down here.

Doesn't matter.
It's a rule.


Frankly, Douglas, I am shocked
to see you back here.
DOUG: Are ya?

I thought you'd be guarding
Jackie O. by now,

standing outside
the Russian Tea Room for hours
in the freezing snow,

when she was inside having
one of those little cakes
and chatting to her friends.

Here, Frederick.

I'll do it
this morning, Fred.
Thank you.

Good morning.






Douglas, darling?

Yes, ma'am?

You seem to have dropped some
of my things on the floor.

Would you be kind enough
to pick them up for me?
Yes, ma'am.

That's a good boy.

Do I still have any influence
in that evil, little town
or have they forgotten me?

Ma'am, with all due respect,
why me?

Why? Because I like you.

My feelings are hurt that
anyone would be that anxious
to get away from me.

I certainly don't mean to hurt
your feelings, Mrs. Carlisle,

but my assignment here
is finished and I'd like
to get back to Washington.

is a dead-end town,
Douglas, career-wise,

unless you're there purely
to make money, which I'm
sure you wouldn't be.

I'd like to go back,
Mrs. Carlisle.

I'm sorry,
but I need you here.
Mrs. Carlisle?


I'd just like you to know
that I came back
of my own free will.

As an S.A.I.C, I could have
refused this assignment,
but I didn't.

S.A.I.C.? What is that?

Ma'am, you know very well
what that is.

No, I don't.
Yes, you do, ma'am.

Don't tell me what I know
and what I don't know.
That is not your place.

What is a saic?

S.A.I.C. stands for
Special Agent In Charge.

Oh, I see, I see.
A special agent, are we?
And in charge, no less.

My, my, my, my, my.

You rarely meet someone
who's a secret agent
who's also in charge.

And why is he in charge?

Because he's
so doggone special.

And you did not come back here
of your own free will.

If you had a free will,
you'd be miles from here.

I have some very exciting
news for you.

I have an inoperable
brain tumor.

I have bought you and your men
a scud missile launcher.

We are going to the opera
in Columbus. Which of those
do you think is true?


I would like to drive
to Columbus
a week from Friday.

Yes, ma'am.
May I say, it is good
to see you getting out again.

Is it?
Yes, ma'am.

Thank you, Douglas.
That's very
patronizing of you.

I suppose you couldn't
care less about opera.

No, ma'am. I couldn't.
Of course not.

You're a typical,
red-blooded American male.

You'd probably
rather watch reruns of
Mister E on television,

now wouldn't you, Doug?

Tell me...

If you had to choose
between opera and Mister Ed?

I'd choose Mister Ed.
In a second.

Oh, you're so honest.
Yes, ma'am.
I try to be.

Good for you, Agent Dougie.

Now put my rosebud
on the tray and get out.

As you can see,
I'm extremely busy.

Yes, ma'am.

I expect him any minute.
I'll tell him as soon as
he comes in. All right.


She wants to see you.

Oh, come on.
I was just up there!

She called the president to
demand I pull another tour.
How do you like that shit?

Because she likes me.

Oh, you don't think
that's the reason?

I don't know.
Who knows with her?

She didn't say anything
about liking me, did she?

It doesn't have anything
to do with like.

She doesn't want
a new guy coming in here,

shaking things up,
trying to get things
running right.

She's got me broken in.
She'll never let me go.

Now my master calls again.

Check this out!
We now go to Helen Grace.

GRACE: Yes, Peter, in the city
of Agua Dulce, when automatic
weapon fire broke out

shortly after 2:30 local time,
the president was immediately

hustled from the scene
and secret service...

See those
special tactics guys?

They're everywhere.
Yeah, yeah.

...applauded the American
leader repeatedly.

The men with the guns,

are they United States
Secret Service agents?

Doug, she says it's important.

(SIGHS) Tell her I'm busy.
I'll be there in 15 minutes.

He'll be there
in 15 minutes.


Mrs. Carlisle?
You should go up.

Does she want chocolate?
Some goddamn fruit drink?

Are we a bunch of waiters?
We want to be down there!


I got it!

I'm coming!

I can't do three more
years of this.



I told you never to bring
a gun in this room.

Now, get it out.
Yes, ma'am.

How dare you
bring a gun in here!


Sorry, Mrs. Carlisle.
That's all right, Joseph.

Mrs. Carlisle,
that emergency alarm
is to be used only...

It's mine
and I will use it
any time I see fit.

I think it bothers
the neighbors. Sorry.

What is it you want, ma'am?

I want to play golf.


Golf. It's a game.

My husband and I
used to play it.
Do you remember that?

Mrs. Carlisle,
it's 38 degrees outside.

Thank you, Tom.
Could you have the car
ready in half an hour?

Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.

Now, go on, go on.
Shoo, shoo.

Go on!



Would you mind
not standing there?

No, not there.
Go over there where
I can see where you are.

Didn't you guard Ford
or Agnew or those people?
No, ma'am.

All they ever did
was play golf.
Yes, ma'am.

Which was a real blessing
for the country.
Yes, ma'am.

No, I was too young.


I was too young
to serve Ford or Agnew.

Get back in the cart!
Get in the cart!

Yes, ma'am.

What is this
all about?

She sits up in her
room for five years,
and now we've got golf.

And opera.
And opera.

What's next?
Synchronized swimming.


Why are you making noise?
We're trying to putt.

Sorry, ma'am.
Sorry, ma'am.

Why don't you at least make
yourselves useful?

One of you come
and hold the pin.

Yes, ma'am.


Would you be kind enough
to get my first ball,
please, Doug?

I'm a Secret Service Agent,
Mrs. Carlisle, not a caddie.

You want that ball,
I suggest you go
get it yourself.


Since you've insisted
on me staying here,

I think you should know
I intend to do my job
by the book.

Which means
we don't run errands,

we don't make snacks,
and we don't check
our guns at the door.

Now if you don't like
any of this,

I suggest you call Washington
and get yourself a new man.

I'd be very careful
if I were you, agent.

You're way out of your depth.

Let's switch.
I've got to go up
to the clubhouse.

Sure thing, Doug.

DOUG: I told her.

No more calling us
"gofers with guns."

No more snacks
in the middle of the night.

No more checking our weapons
outside your bedroom door.

You said that?

In so many words.

What I basically said was
from now on we go by the book.

And she stood for this?
She didn't say a thing.

Oh, yeah. She tells me
to go find her ball.

I said I'm not a caddie,
I'm a Secret Service agent.

You want that ball,
you go find it yourself.
Come on.

Are you crazy?
No. Let me tell you why.

WOMAN: Doug, telephone.

OPERATOR: Mr. Chesnic?

Please hold for the president.

Uh, uh, hello.

That you, Doug?
Uh, yes, sir!

How are ya?
I'm-- I'm fine. And you?

Well, I got,
I got this call
from Tess Carlisle

and, um,
I know this sounds
a little crazy,

but did you tear up
some flowers of hers?

Doug, you there?
Uh-huh. Yes, sir.

Something about
a bunch of roses.

Well, uh, no,
no, no, no, it wasn't,
it wasn't a bunch, sir.

Uh-huh. Well, how many
of them were there?
Just one, sir.

I see. And, uh,
and you tore it up,
did you?

No, sir,
I didn't tear it up.
What did you do?

I merely removed the bud.
From her flower?

Yes, sir.

Okay, let's get past
that for a second.

As you know, I was her
husband's vice president.
Yes, sir.

I owe a lot to the Carlisles.
She seconded my nomination.

Yes, sir.

So, why don't we all
try to get along better
there in Ohio?

Yes, sir. Absolutely.

I don't get it myself.
One day she calls me, says
she can't live without you,

next day she's calling
almost in tears.

Maybe you two have some kind
of sicko thing going on.
No, sir! I can tell you...

I'll tell you this, Doug.
Any more phone calls from her,
and you'll be guarding my dog.

You understand
what I'm saying?
Yes, sir.

'Cause I probably got the most
important job in the world.
Yes, sir.

And I feel like a goddamn
idiot having to call you
about a goddamn flower!

You know what
I mean, Doug?
Yes, sir, I certainly do.

So, you gonna help me
out on this one?
Yes, you can count on it.

Thanks, Doug, that's
what I wanted to hear.

You have yourself
a nice evening, son.
Yes, sir.



If you need help, hang up
and then dial your operator.



Hey, Mrs. Carlisle, I got
your laundry and a Whopper.

Who's this opera by again?


Oh, that's right.

I saw a movie about him.
The guy was a complete jerk.

At the end of the movie,
some guy comes to see him
wearing a party mask.

It was just a mask, right?
But it upsets Mozart so much

that he drops over dead
just like that.

Now what the hell
kind of guy is that?
I don't know, Lee.

Don't shoot yourself.
Very funny.

Happy hunting.



Sorry, ma'am.

This way, ma'am.


Kill the engine.


Start the engine.

Yes, ma'am?

Do you like your job?
Yes, ma'am, a lot.

Mrs. Carlisle, the protectee
is never allowed to sit
directly behind the driver.

That's a regulation.
Nobody does it, not
the president, not anybody.

The sun will be on that side,
and I do not want the sun.

Perhaps you could sit
on the proper side but
slightly then to the middle.


Ma'am, excuse me, but we are
not leaving this house until
you are seated properly

with your seat belt
firmly fastened.

Jesus Christ, let her sit
on the hood if she wants to!

Move it out, Earl.


We're rolling.


Oh, these family outings
are always so stressful.


♪ Throw my head back
and shout

♪ Come on now, shout

♪ Don't forget to say you will

♪ Don't forget to say
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Say you will

♪ Say it right now, baby,
say you will

♪ Come on, come on,
say you will

♪ Say that you,
say you will ♪







I have never been so
embarrassed in my life.

I want to go home.
I don't want to go
to the hotel,

and I will never return
to Columbus again.

Yes, ma'am.
For what it's worth,
I was just trying to help.

Your help is most precisely
what I do not want. When
will you people get that?


Hello. Oh...

Back up, please.
No autographs right now.
WOMAN 1: So good to see you.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Thank you.
Oh, thank you.

Mrs. Carlisle.

MAN: Tess, hi.
Welcome to Columbus.


WOMAN 2: I really do
appreciate that you're here.
Thank you so much.

What is this?
I just wanted
her autograph.

Write me at this address
and I'll see that you get
an autographed picture.

Oh, a picture,
how wonderful.
A picture.

Thank you so very much.
Very, very nice
and wonderful.

I hope you enjoyed the opera
as much as I did.

I've changed my mind. We'll be
staying in Columbus tonight.
Yes, ma'am.

WOMAN 3: Give 'em hell, Tess!

What do you care where
she sits in the damn car?

She's supposed to be where
the driver and I can both
see her. Come on, Tommy.

Hell, I know that.
That's not what I'm asking.
This detail's a cupcake.

It may be the most boring
detail in the service,
but it's still a cupcake.

So why you gonna risk
your career on crap like that?

Because it's not crap.
It's my job.

I'm either gonna do it right,
take pride in it, or I'm gonna
find something else to do.

Okay, you're right.
I can't argue. But, Doug,
I wouldn't piss her off.

A couple more phone calls
to the White House
and you'll be...

Guarding the president's dog.

You'll be gone.

You try to get a job
out there now.

Know what they want
in private security?

They want guys that can
bench-press 9,000 pounds.

This is a good deal.
You've let it get personal.

It's not personal.

'Course it is.
She doesn't even know
the rest of us are alive.

How is she?
Oh, she's fine, but, uh...


Get rid of those.

Okay, what about

Ali TKO. Eighth round,
in his prime.

What about Mrs. Carlisle
and Nancy Reagan? Yeah.
In their prime?

Mrs. Carlisle would
knock Nancy out in
the sixth or seventh round.

Wouldn't go the distance?
No, different fighters.

Nancy doesn't have
the big-time punch.

She throws these cutting
left jabs and combinations.

Always in your face.


Mrs. Carlisle...
She's a floater,
a dancer.

Totally unpredictable.
Just when you think you got
her where you want her,

bam! Out of nowhere
comes her right hand
and Nancy's on queer street.

End of fight.
I think you're
right about that.

I know I'm right.
I know.
That's why I asked you.

Ralph, get me a Baby Ruth,
would you, please?

Yes, ma'am.
Thank you.

Earl, go.
Mrs. Carlisle, I can't.

Who got you this job?
Did they, or did I?



Doug! Doug!
She took off!

Earl? Earl?

I want you to pull over
right now. You hear me,
goddamn it?


I'm sorry, Doug.
It's not your fault.
It's my fault, not your fault.

Should have seen it coming.
Should have seen it.

Just hold on a minute,
Agent Chesnic.

I'm gonna put you
on the speaker.

Is there someone else
in the room?

Oh, no, no.

I just want to
practice my putting
while we're talking.

What can I do for you?
DOUG: Would you please

put out an all-points
for Mrs. Carlisle's

It's a '92 Lincoln,

Ohio plates,
kilo-hotel-Oscar 3-6-2.

When last seen,
it was heading east on
the Chester exit of I-71.

Just hold everything.
Have I got this right?

Have you Secret Service boys
gone and lost the president's
wife again?

I don't believe there's
any cause for concern here.

She's with her driver.
She's perfectly safe,

but proper procedure
requires us to...
To notify you.

Of course, it does.
We'll get on this right now.

Thank you.

Agent Chesnic, uh...

Mrs. Carlisle
is pretty slippery,
isn't she?


I mean, for
a senior citizen.






Doug? Doug?

Let's have a little stroll
around the yard...

Before we go in there
and talk to him. Okay?



I want you to go in there
and tell Earl to meet me
in the office.

Okay, Lee?

All right.
Thank you.

Hey, hey, everybody's
mad at me, right?

What am I supposed to do?
I'm just the driver, you know?

Hey, hey, hey, hey!


Hey, just a second!

You're through,
you know that?

No, I don't know that.
You don't know that?

No, I don't know that.
Why don't you know that,
you little tick?

Because she assured me
that I wouldn't be fired!

In fact, I would have been
fired if I hadn't, if I hadn't
done it.

Look, look, look!

You guys come and go,
but I live here,

and I keep my job
because of her.

You think I don't try
to talk her out of these crazy
things but I got no choice!

You're fired, Earl.
Trust me.


Come in.

Did you enjoy
yourself today?

Don't take that tone
with me, Douglas.

Look, this is
just stupid, okay?

Which part?

The part where I have
to run away like a fugitive

in order to have one hour's
worth of privacy,

or the part where I am
spoken to like a child?

I fired Earl.
This has happened twice now.


He is a driver in the employ
of the Secret Service.

I can't do anything about
the cook or the nurse.
No, they work for you.

But this guy works for us,
and he's gone!

He works for you because
I told you people to hire him.

He's my chauffeur,
and he's staying!


You've got to let me leave
this detail, Mrs. Carlisle.
I can't do my job effectively.

Whatever you like.
You can go anytime you please.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Good-bye, Mrs. Carlisle.

If I promise
never to run away again,

will that do?

Ma'am, I am truly sorry,
but I...

For God's sake, Doug,
I only went
for a little drive.

It was a crazy thing to do.

Yes, crazy, exactly.
You should try it sometime,

You should try
going crazy yourself.

You should get a date.
You should have a martini.

You should drive
with the top down.

You should, better yet,
give a tired,
old widow a break.

I am very sorry,
Mrs. Carlisle,
but the regulations...

Oh, well, fine. Go.

Whatever you want to do.
Just leave.

One less gunman
lounging around my house.
Take the whole bunch with you.

We are not gunmen,
Mrs. Carlisle.

And since I am leaving
for sure this time, I'd like
to take this opportunity

to remind you that you can
refuse Secret Service
protection anytime you want.

But I believe
you already know that.

That's brilliant, Doug.

You think they'd really
let me get away with that?

I don't know why not.
Other people have done it.
But I think you like it.

I think you like having
seven men and no women agents,
I notice,

at your beck and call
day and night!

Get a date.

How dare you.

Good-bye, Mrs. Carlisle.
Get out!

Get out of my house
this instant!

And stay out!





This is Air Force One calling.

Stand by for the president.

Doug? How are ya?
Yes, sir?

I'm fine, sir.
How are you?

I'm not too good.
I'm on my way to London.

I should be working
on a speech for
the common market.

Instead, I'm having a goddamn
Tess Carlisle problem!
What's that about, Doug?


Do you know she has refused
Secret Service protection?

Where the hell did she
get an idea like that?


This woman is
a national treasure.

Maybe you and I know what
a pain in the butt she is,
but we don't count.

It's what the
goddamn voters think!
That's what counts!

And they want this woman
looked after. You understand?
Yes, sir.

What if some lunatic
breaks into her house
and cuts her goddamn throat?

How much doo-doo do you
think I'd catch if that
happened on my watch?

Yes, sir.
Let me make it real clear.

Get over to her house
and straighten this out.

I'm counting on you
and so is the country.

You hear me?
Yes, sir. I'll get
on it right away.

Okay, that's what
I wanted to hear.
Thanks a lot, buddy.

Hey, the next time
you're in town, come over
to the White House for dinner.

Yes, sir. I'd be honored.
I'll be there. Thank you.

All right.
Have a nice day, pal.
Yes, sir, I will.



She told us to leave
and take the flag with us.

I had to load the weapons
in the station wagon.


Hello. That you, Doug?

DOUG: Yeah, I want you
to open the gate.

No way, Doug.

Come on, Jimmy,
let me in there.

I'm acting on the authority
of the president
of the United States.

JIMMY: So what, Doug?
We got Mrs. Carlisle in here.

Doug, this is Frederick.
I want you to listen closely.

Jimmy and I are holding
Mrs. Carlisle hostage,

and here is what we want.

FREDERICK: We want $100
in unmarked bills,

and a helicopter,
matching sports coats,

and a videocassette
of the movie Gigi.

Are you listening to me, Doug?

Hello, Earl.
Can you hear me, Doug?

Earl, do me a favor.
Can you talk to Mrs. Carlisle?

You owe me an apology.

Yeah, probably.
Can you talk to her?

She isn't seeing anyone.
Okay. Try to get her
to let me in.

If she wants to go out,
go shopping, anything,
please let me know.

Thank you.

Okay, Barbara, I guess
you might as well go home.

You guys go home, too,
get some sleep.

All right, the three of us
will take perimeter positions.

Lee, you take Maple.
Ralph, go around back.
We'll take our cars.

I'll sit out front.
Let's load this stuff up.

This is nuts.

You got a better idea?

The gate's opening.
Do you read me?

LEE: Yeah, we got you.
RALPH: Copy that.

Okay, guys, we're rolling.
She's in the Town Car
heading west.


Earl, pull over.

What are you doing?

Mrs. Carlisle,
we need to talk.

I took your advice.
I did what you wanted.

Now leave me alone.
Drive, Earl.

Stay with the car, please.
EARL: Yes, ma'am.

DOUG: Mrs. Carlisle,
I was just on the phone
to the president.

Yes, ma'am,

and he said
that you should...
Get away from me.

DOUG: Yes, ma'am.




Thank you. Barry.


Doug, this is Ralph.
I'm going off duty now.

She hasn't been
out of the house all day.

Frederick said that
Mrs. Carlisle's son
is flying in tomorrow.

That's about it from here.


Barry! Oh, hello, my darling!

Hi, Mama!
Oh, goodness me!

Oh, you look so wonderful.
I missed you.

You bring in his luggage.
He's okay.

He'll get the luggage.
Come, come, come, come.
Tell me all about your life.

This thing is the best project
that I've seen in years,
of its nature.


What we're talking about
is 125 detached

and semi-detached
retirement villas

starting from a $125,000
Venice studio layout,

going all the way up to
the Tuscany four-bedroom plan,
which starts at 799.

And at least
half of the villas

have a view of
the nine-hole golf course,
designed by Taylor Frye.

The whole project's primo,

I mean, you know,
it's first class
the whole way.

The only problem,
and I don't really
think of it as a problem,

I think of it more
like an opportunity,
you know what I mean?

But some of the management
at Topland Properties

got burned in the S&L mess
that went down a couple
of years ago.

So what we're
looking to do now

is to find a way of showing
people that we are rock solid.

One of the ways of doing
that is to get

people of your stature
to endorse the project.


All we would need
would be a letter,

just something to use
just in the brochure,

saying that you think
the project's a good one
for older people

looking for a sun
and recreation-type place.

Only downside of the whole
thing is the bank's being
so tightfisted in Phoenix

'cause they made
all those stupid loans.

We have got to show people
that they can trust

the Hacienda Palms concept
down the line.



I said no.



♪ Joy to the world,
the Lord is come

♪ Let earth receive her King

♪ Let every heart
prepare Him room

♪ And heaven and nature sing
and heaven and nature sing

♪ And heaven
and heaven and... ♪


What we're watching now is
exactly the kind of mandate

President Carlisle wanted
from this convention.

This is, for all intents
and purposes, a coronation
rather than a nomination.

Jim Carlisle's going to get
anything and everything
he wants from the delegates

who seem ready
to follow him into the...

...their stay at their home
in Summersville.

The two met at nearby
Denison College and fell
in love as undergraduates.

Interestingly enough,
Tess Carlisle was
the class president

and Jim Carlisle was the lazy,
lacrosse-playing student
with the C average.

Later in the Rose Garden,
the president was
able to put aside

his congressional woes
by welcoming these

award-winning girl scouts
to the White House.

These young ladies
come from...

Special bulletin.

The president suffered
a massive heart attack...

We are now looking at
the joint chiefs of staff

and, of course,
in the front row,

there's the president's
daughter Theresa, her husband.

They have two children
and live in New York City.

And on the other side
of Mrs. Carlisle,
the president's son, Barry,

now a very
successful businessman
in the state of Arizona.

Very sad, sad day.

Very sad, sad day.


Oh, God! Damn! Ow!

You scared me to death!
You sneaked up on me!

I did no such thing!
Yes, you did!

I did not!
Where'd you come from?

I came from that gate
on the side, and I intend
to go back the same way!

Mrs. Carlisle, wait, please.
Mrs. Carlisle...

Look, I was wrong.

About a lot of things.
Yes, about
a lot of things.

But I was really
wrong about you
refusing protection.

No, that's the one thing
you were right about.

Do you suppose the average
taxpayer has any idea how much
money is being spent

to guard old political
has-beens and their wives?
No, ma'am, I don't.

My God, it's an outrage.

The cars and the manpower.
It just makes me sick.
Yes. Yes.

Listen, Mrs. Carlisle...
Just like Washington
to spend money like that.

Just like Washington!
Can we please just talk
for one second?

About what, Douglas?
About the detail
coming back in.

No, no.

You came out here
to ask me something.
What was that about?

I was wondering
if you would like
to have a cup of coffee.


Coffee keeps me awake, Doug.
Even decaf.

I'd like to have a drink.

I--I take a drink
occasionally, not often.

Did you know that?
No, ma'am.

Well, I do.

If I located a bottle,
would you join me
in a highball?

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, you're such a wild
and crazy thing.

Well, my daughter
and I barely speak.

Unfortunately, I don't have
a much-improved relationship
with my son.

I don't blame them.
The children got screwed.

We got the governor's mansion,
and the senate,

the White House.

And they got this very
peculiar childhood.

I say "we."

Jim and I were truly partners.

You must have known
in the White House

how much he really
depended on me, didn't you?

Yes, ma'am.
That was pretty
common knowledge.

You must have known
about my husband's
occasional indiscretions.

Didn't think I knew about it,
did ya?

Well, did you?

Nobody thought I knew
about it, did they?

Well... Let's just keep that
our little secret.

Yes, ma'am.
You can count on me.

I know that.

Douglas, we're getting out
of here.

I've talked about myself
enough for one night.

Let's talk about you.


Oh, well, there's nothing
much to say, ma'am.

Come on, Douglas,
of course there is.

For instance, what's it like
guarding that crazy,
old bitch, Tess Carlisle?

Mrs. Carlisle, please.
It must get pretty screwy
over there, right?

Woman lives like a hermit,
likes to play golf
in a snowstorm.

I, uh...

Just the rudimentary facts.
Family. Start there.


My father is a retired cop.

My mother was
a millinery buyer for
a small department store.

Married, once,
for seven months.

Come on, Douglas.
You looked into my records.

My husband told me.
I do not look
into people's records.

Well, was it painful,
or a fling?

Everybody seemed to know what
she was really like except me.

Hmm. I'm sorry.

I just don't like
people knowing about it...

it's embarrassing to me

that I was married
for such a short time.

You can count on me,
Secret Agent Douglas Chesnic.

Special Secret Agent In Charge
Douglas Chesnic.

Special Agent Douglas.

You've been
a very, very naughty boy,
but now all is forgiven.

How did you do it?
How did you talk your way
back in here?

the simple answer is,
she likes me.

Jimmy, ham and eggs, I think.
Yes, ma'am.

Good morning, gentlemen.
Good morning, Mrs. Carlisle.

Douglas, the president
is coming to Summersville.

We must prepare for that.

Will you have the cars
and the machine guns ready
in about an hour?

Yes, ma'am.
Good. Thank you.

perhaps some sit-ups.

Well, I think it's a real
feather in our cap

to have the president
coming to the dedication
of the final wing.

Do you?
Yes, ma'am.

Oh, well, I think
it's a tempest in a teapot,

but if the president
does insist on coming,
what can I do

but try to be gracious until
the whole affair is over with.

Where do you plan to stage
this thing, Mr. Porter?

I thought outside
at your husband's sepulcher
we'd put up a tent.

This is no great
concern of mine,

and I'm delighted to leave
these matters up to you,

but I'd have the presentation
in the reading room

with the portrait of
my husband as a backdrop.

Then I'd have refreshments
served in the library

with a bar set up
in the adjoining parlor.

What do you think of that?

Well... I think that
would be nice, too.

Thank you so much again.

I suppose
you're all excited

about the president
visiting us poor,
little, country mice.

Yes, ma'am.
I see this as a chance

to get my people
on their toes again.

Thinking sharp.

So you think
they're dull, too?

Ah, Frederick, tell me,
which of these

exemplifies elegant disdain
yet sincere concern?

That one.

You're good, you know that?
You are very good.

We'll have six of their guys
inside, ten on the grounds,

but we're in charge
of the physical plant.

Yeah. All right.

Those guys are taking
their orders from us.

Does she want
to be known today?

Don't know her.
Don't know her.
Don't know her.

It's got no price at all.
Yes, ma'am.

Doug, this is Bobby
in canned goods.
Are you near the manager?

I need a price check
on Le Sueur baby peas.
Repeat, Le Sueur baby peas.

Le Sueur baby peas?

They're on special today.
Two for 59.

They're on special today.
Two for 59.

Copy that.
It's two for 59.

But I only want one.

Roger that, Doug,
but she only wants one.

How much for just one?

The same.
It's a two-for-one thing.

it's a two-for-one thing,
so I suggest you get both.

Copy that, Doug,
but I believe we've
lost interest in peas.

lost interest in peas.
Canned goods out.


Someone's smoking in here.

Someone is smoking
in a grocery store!


Are you going
to deal with this?
Yes, ma'am.


Okay, I want one of
those temporary rinses,

not blue hair.
Yes, ma'am.

If it's blue,
I'll just chop it all off.
Yes, ma'am.

Okay, let's do it.

I suppose you better
give it to her.

You're her secretary.

I love this color.


Come in. It's just great.
DOUG: Mrs. Carlisle?

Douglas. Hello. Come on.
We're back here.

Mrs. Carlisle.
Yes, come in. Come in.

What do you think of this?

Well, I think
you look beautiful.

Oh. Thank you.

I've got a fax here
from Washington.

It's confidential.

Would you excuse us
for just a moment?
Yes, ma'am.

The president's not coming.
Pressing matters of state.


Well, we can relax then.

Yes, ma'am.

Will he be sending
someone in his place?
Yes, ma'am.

Secretary of commerce,
Yvonne Boyer.

That'll make your job
a lot easier.

Yes, ma'am.


Would you send
the hairdresser back in,
so she can collect her things?

Yes, ma'am.


The thing
that my husband would be
particularly proud of

is that this center is a place
of learning and contemplation.

He would have liked that
very, very much.

What I am especially
proud of is that we took

a fine, wonderful
old building

and we made it useful again.

That appeals to me.

Perhaps because
I am getting old myself.

Well, in closing,

I would like to thank
Yvonne Kiki Hernandez-Boyer,

for taking time out of her
nonstop, hectic schedule
to be here with us today.

Thank you so much,
Kiki, for coming.

You honor us all with your
gracious, gracious company.


Good morning.

Yeah. Come in.

Yes, ma'am.

I'd like to go on a picnic
tomorrow down by the lake.

Yes, ma'am.
They say it might
snow tomorrow.


Well, we can't just wait
on summer, now, can we?

No, I guess not.

I'd very much appreciate it
if I could go with just you
and not everyone else.

Yes, ma'am.

(SIGHS) Thank you.

Is this better than Mister Ed?





Mrs. Carlisle, I think
it's getting colder.

Would you leave me alone,

Yes, ma'am.

Mrs. Carlisle?


I'll get the chair.




Hey, Earl, stop! Damn!



Are they back yet?

Yeah. Doug.
Are they there?

Who? Mrs. Carlisle?

No, they're not here.
Aren't they with you?

No. Call everybody in.
Come get me.


Did they get back yet?

When did they take off?

About two and a half
hours ago.


Who's this?
Tom, they there?

Okay, call Sheriff Janson
and the highway patrol.

Tell them they're
just out joyriding again.

It's not a problem, but inform
them that there's no security
with Mrs. Carlisle.

Okay, thanks.

No! No, not yet.
We'll give them another hour.

Goddamn her for this.

Okay, Barbara...

Let's call Washington.

This is the worst moment
of my life.


If she was taken,
the people who did it

must have been
setting this up for months.
Yes, sir.

Did you notice
anything suspicious?
No, sir.

Nothing at all?

No, sir.

I ought to call
the president when we get
to the Carlisle place.

Yes, sir.

It'll be almost midnight
by then, Mr. Harrison.

That's no problem.
He's up.

Hello, Doug.

Thanks for coming in.

Excuse me.


Well, according to this,
all of the local roads...

I would appreciate it
if you would put
something under there

so that we don't
scratch the table.

Doug, why don't you
come in here with me?

MAN: Yes, sir.

That's correct.

Doug, this is
Charles Ivy, CIA.

Doug, here,
is agent in charge
for Mrs. Carlisle.

Mr. President, I've got
Agent Doug Chesnic with me.

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Does he want
to speak with me?


She has a full-time nurse.
What's that for?

Uh, she's had some
dizziness the last
couple years.

He monitors
her medication,

makes sure
she's eating right,
that kind of stuff.

Seven well-trained,
heavily-armed men

can't take care
of one little old lady?

You disgust me.

Yes, sir.

Sheriff Janson's
on the phone.

Who's that?
TOM: Local sheriff.

What's he got?
It's for Agent Chesnic.

Doug, why don't you
take it in the kitchen?



They found the car
on a country road.

Driver unconscious
on the front seat.

He's being taken
to a county hospital.

Mrs. Carlisle was
not at the scene.

Jesus Christ.

Mr. President, Tess Carlisle
has been kidnapped.


Unfortunately, the first
officer on the scene

drove through
the tire tracks.

Makes it tough as hell
to get fingerprints.

OFFICER: Hey, Bobby.
Look here.

It's out of our hands.
No, definitely.

I don't want to step
on any more toes.



I thought you'd
appreciate an update.

A plastic syringe was
found on the floor
of the front seat.

The labs says it contains
a combination of extremely
powerful drugs,

ketamine and ativan.

Both are common.
They're easy to steal.

And used together
would knock out
a full grown man

within 10 seconds
of being injected.

A big enough shot would
keep him down for
up to six or seven hours.

Which squares
with how long
your guy was out.

We take it as
a good sign that
they used a drug

instead of killing him.

The, uh, injuries...

On the back of the driver's
neck, by the way, are burns.
Which is interesting.

They're both in the shape
of a small crescent,
smaller than a quarter.

My friends from the CIA
think it might be a brand,

a signature kind of thing
for a Middle Eastern
terrorist organization.

Also, we spoke to
Mrs. Carlisle's doctor.

Those pills that
she takes for dizziness...

Actually, it's a little
more serious than that.

She has an inoperable
brain tumor.

Did any of you
know that?

Anyway, we'll have fiber
and fingerprint reports
by late afternoon.

A note was
found in the car's
glove compartment

demanding $15 million.

Well, that's about it,
except, um, we're going
to need these offices.

You can all go home
if you want to.

That's the best thing
to do, I think. Thanks.


Well, let's get
any personal stuff
and get out.

What's with that nonsense
about Middle Eastern

Can you imagine a bunch
of Arabs slipping around
Summersville unnoticed?

Yeah, what about
this plastic syringe
in the back of the car?

Does that bother anybody else?
If these guys are such pros,

why would they leave
something like that behind?
It had to be left on purpose.

Hmm, yeah. How long
has she been gone?


Twenty-two hours
and 30 minutes.

Doug, can I get
a ride with you?


Mrs. Carlisle hired me.

I know, Kimberly.
We'll find her.

When others wouldn't.


Douglas, make this quick.

I just want you
to think about this.

Mrs. Carlisle
is sitting in the back seat
of the Lincoln, right?

Now, if she's been
taken off against her will,

you know she's not just gonna
sit there and take that.

She's gonna take
some form of action.

So what does she have
in the way of a weapon?

I don't know.
Cigarette lighter.
Right there in the door.

Makes a little round
crescent-shaped burn.

How's it going?
You getting anywhere?

We'll know more when all
the lab stuff comes in.

Yeah, well, if there's
anything I can do,
Mr. Shaeffer or Doug,

uh, just ask me.

Thank you.

Earl, can we have
a look at your neck?

Yeah, I guess.
What for?

Well, it's just such
a peculiar thing.

Let me get
a nurse to help
with the bandage.


What's this about?

He just wants
to see the burns.

He thinks they're
the key to this case.

The burns?

I already told him I don't
know how they got there
because I was unconscious.



Could you sit up, please?


What do you think?

SHAEFFER: About the burns?

We got a couple ideas.
Like what?

Just ideas.

EARL: Thank you.

Well, I certainly hope
you're not going to try
to pin this on me.

I certainly wasn't
the one who arranged

for Mrs. Carlisle to be
in the middle of nowhere,
guarded by only one agent.

That was not my idea.

I also wasn't the one
who hated Mrs. Carlisle
with a vengeance.

That was Agent Chesnic here.
Did he tell you that?

Is that right? You hated her?
With a vengeance.

I actually like her very much.
Ask anybody.
They argued all the time.

Isn't that right, Doug?

Is that normal, for an agent
to be arguing with his...

No, of course it's not.

See, you should be
asking him the questions.
Hated her guts, true or false?

Look, she treated
these guys like dirt.

She--She threw them
all out of the house
a couple weeks ago.

EARL: Can I have a cigarette?
Sorry, don't smoke.

Why are you
suddenly so upset?

I'm not upset.

Well, wouldn't you be?

Look, I may be
only the driver,

but I'm at least smart
enough to know that you guys
are not gonna leave town

without putting somebody
in jail, and that somebody
doesn't have to be guilty.

I read. I know
how you guys operate.

You did it, didn't you, Earl?

The hell with you,
okay, Dougie?

It was easy, wasn't it?

Get him out of my face.
I'm not putting up with this.
All right.


I have to warn you,
Mr. Feller, that the FBI
does consider you suspect.

Well, that's just terrific.
I suggest you get
a lawyer quickly.

Don't you worry about that.
I'm going to protect myself.

Where is she, Earl?


Speak to my lawyer,
Agent--Agent Dougie.

All right.
That's it for now.

No more questions.
But we have to have
you available to us,

at our convenience.

All right...
Oh, no, Doug.


Let's not be
stupid here.

All right?

Where is she?

I don't know.
Doug, we're
the good guys, okay?

We don't do
stuff like this.
Don't you get it?

I'm the only one
that you've got,
and he wants to kill me!

Doesn't that
tell you anything?

Come on, Doug.
I'm telling you
to holster your pistol.

Oh, Jesus, help me.
Goddamn it, Doug.
Put that gun away.

You're already
in so much trouble!

He's gonna tell me.
Tell you what?
I don't know anything.

Even if he does,
we can't use it!
Not like this!

I'm going to count to five,

and then I'm gonna
shoot one of your toes off.

EARL: Oh, God!

And then
I'm gonna count to five
and shoot another toe.

Listen, I don't
know anything!

Will you just get that
through your thick...


Doug, are you crazy?
Are you?

He didn't count!
He didn't even count!
Five, four...

You're going to prison, Doug.
Listen to me!
Just listen to me?

If he is involved...
This is the nurse's station.

Should we call the police?
Yes, and the FBI.

If he is involved
then she knows it!

And if she knows it,
her life is worthless!
Do you understand me?

They have to fuckin' kill her!
We don't have time
to meet his lawyer!

Right, Earl?
Oh, God help me!

Five! Four!

Three! Two!
Okay! Okay!

Okay, okay, okay.
Look, they've got her
in an abandoned farmhouse.

An abandoned farmhouse?
Yeah! Yeah!

I don't think so. Five!
No, no!
I swear to God!

I swear to God!
Doug! Really!

Listen, it's my sister
and her husband.
Check it out, Doug.

It wasn't my idea!
I swear to God!


They made me do it!

Mrs. Carlisle's
all right, Doug,

because my sister
is taking very good
care of her.


...drizzle outside.
Sunset tomorrow about 4:50.




Freeze! That's it!


You have the right
to remain silent!




She's over here.

There. She's down there.

What? Take that off.

You buried her?
Jesus Christ.
Is she alive?

Yeah. Pretty sure.

You put her down there
over 30 hours ago?

This is not a young woman.
You guys better start
saying your prayers.

What did you do?
What did you do? Huh?


Take it easy!

Jesus Christ.
Get him the hell
outta here!

Look how deep that is.
They weren't gonna dig her up.

Keep her alive
for a day or two in case
you had to have her,

then just cut
the ventilation and walk.

Who the hell let you back in?

We wanna do the digging.
She's our responsibility.

Your guys are upset.
Wait outside. Let us do it.

Okay, okay, all right, dig.
Guys, come on,
get outta there!

Give these men the shovels.
Come on!
Thank you.

Give me the shovel.


I think I found something!
Pull out the pipe!
Can you see anything?

Is she down there?

Mrs. Carlisle?


Somebody get a power saw!

MAN: I got it!
Come on! Move!

I want soap,
water and blankets.

Nobody sees her like this.

Make a hole!
Come on, make a hole!

Coming through!


Let's go!

OFFICER: Hurry! Hurry!
Keep those people back!

All right,
bring her up slowly!
That's it!

Now bring her towards
the back of the copter!

Come on, gentlemen!
Watch your step!

Step lively now!
Watch your head!

Watch your feet!
The bottom of the copter
is slick!


Watch your head!

Sorry, sir.
That's too many.

That's bullshit.
We're gettin' on.
No can do, pal.

All right, we'll meet 'em
at the hospital. Come on.

What do you
think, Doug?

She's alive, Joe.
That's all I know.

Come on, guys!
Snap it up!

Hey! Anybody out here
named Douglas Chesnic?

Doug Chesnic!

Doug Chesnic!

Doug Chesnic!

Doug Chesnic!

Doug Chesnic!

I'm Chesnic! What is it?

Lady's awake, sir!
Says she's not going anywhere

without her
Secret Service detail!

Is that you guys?
Yeah, that's us!

Can you come aboard, sir?

Yeah, we can do that!

Wait one second, sir!

I'm sorry, gentlemen.
I have to throw
some of you off.

She gonna be all right?
Looks like it.

Where have you been?
Looking for you.

How long did it take you
to figure out the cigarette
lighter burns?

About 22 hours.

Oh, Douglas,
it was so obvious.
No, it wasn't.

I was the only one
who got it.
I can hardly believe that.

It's true.
Howard Shaeffer, FBI.

If I may say, ma'am,
Agent Chesnic is the reason
we found you.

If he hadn't shot a man
in the hospital...
Shot a man?

Yes, ma'am.
You finally got
to shoot somebody, Douglas?

Did you kill him?

He shot him in the toe.

Oh, after all that practice.

Yes, ma'am.
Ma'am, if I could
set the record straight...

Excuse me, I'd just like
to talk to this gentleman,
if you don't mind.


I'll get it, dear.

Tell the others
I'll be out in a minute.
Yes, ma'am.


Mrs. Carlisle, the president's
returning your call.

Oh, yes, thank you.
Yes, ma'am.

Tess, are they treating you
all right in that hospital?

'Cause if they're not...
Harold, I want my Secret
Service agent taken care of.

Tess, the man discharged
a firearm in a public place.

I don't care about
any of that. This young man
saved my life.

He's like a son to me, Harold.
I want him taken care of.
You understand?

Well, sure, Tess.
I'm sure we...

Oh, and if anything should
ever happen to me,

I want your personal word
that you will look after him.

Well, sure, Tess.
You know I...
Good. Thanks, Harold.

That's all I wanted to know.
You have yourself a nice day.
Y-Yes, ma'am.

Dr. Willis to 4-west
nurse's station.

What is this?

It's your wheelchair, ma'am.

I can see it's a wheelchair,
but I won't be needing it.
Thank you very much.

It's hospital policy that
you leave by wheelchair.

No, I would really prefer
not to sit in the wheelchair.

I would much rather walk
on my own two feet...

With my own steam
out of the hospital.

I understand, but
the rules and regulations
state that each patient...

Oh, the rules?
No, no, no.
...must leave in a wheelchair.

Rules and regulations
are not something
I'm terribly fond of.

Just allow me
to go out on my own.

Please, Mrs. Carlisle,
I'm just trying
to do my job.

I would like very much...
I am not sitting in that!
Mrs. Carlisle, please!


If I may interrupt.

The regulations aren't really
that sacred, are they?

And, Tess...

Get in the goddamn chair.


Very good, Douglas.

You'll be all right.
Very good.

Mrs. Carlisle,
how are you feeling?


Do you plan to stay
in Summersville?