Growing the Big One (2010) - full transcript

It's hard to believe,

but we have come to the end

of another week

of Seattle pulse!

We still have a minute left,

and you all know

what that means.

I will answer as many questions

as you can throw at me

in 30 seconds.

Caller one, you're on.

I have two words--

"natural metallics."

Spring sale at shoe inc.

Caller two!

Best steak house

for the in-laws

coming in

from Pittsburgh?

Well, that's a no-brainer.

Make sure to ask

for a patio table.

Caller three!

Local wine to serve

with sea bass?

Chateau St. Michelle

chardonnay, 2006.

All right, that is it

for Seattle pulse,

the heartbeat of the city.

This is Emma silver,

reminding you

to smell the coffee,

drive carefully,

and, of course,

join us again on Monday.

Hey,

great show.

Thanks.

You got a sec?

For you, ed, always.

Well, I'll just

cut to the chase.

We are now part of

the worldmedia merger.

I'm not really sure

I like the sound of that.

Read my lips,

nothing's going to change.

Well, how can you be so sure?

Kbmu's been around

for 40 years.

They're not going to tamper

with success.

I uprooted my life in New York

to move here for this job.

I know.

I invested my savings

in a condo.

Understood.

I have a dentist,

I have a hairdresser,

I have a nail salon

that actually

understands my cuticles.

Are you done?

I have a three-year

iron-clad contract.

"Nothing's going to change"

did you miss?

Enjoy your weekend.

I'll do my best.

See you later.

Emma, you have

a call on line two.

He said

it's important.

Hello.

Yeah, this is Emma silver.

Ed...

Hey.

I...

I-I got a call,

and I won't be in

on Monday.

I have to go

to valleyville.

My grandfather died.

Aw, geez, Emma.

I'm so sorry.

So I'm going to make

a... list of, encore shows

for you to air while I'm away--

okay, don't worry.

I'll take care of things here.

You just do what

you have to do?

I'm so sorry.

Is it supposed to rain?

That's what

they're saying.

I don't think so.

Anybody know?

I'm not sure, though.

Hey there, hon,

are you lost?

I think I have

the wrong address.

I'm looking for a law office.

Well...

You must be Emma.

Hi.

My condolences.

I'm Bobby Ellis.

I called you.

I thought you said

that you were

an attorney?

But a man has to have

a lot of irons in the fire.

If you want to

follow me,

my office is

out back.

So that's Walt's

granddaughter?

Are you out of

your mind?

Walt's granddaughter

used to come up here

she had short hair

and freckles.

When she was

12, maybe.

12, wasn't that

about the time

you learned to read?

Don't make me

hurt you, Hank.

It's funny, we've

lived here 15 years.

Never laid eyes on her,

have we, Jeff?

Yeah, she stopped

coming by

after the accident.

What accident?

Her folks.

Real good people.

No, no, no,

not good people.

Emma was away

at college,

and they were coming

in from the city

no, no, it was

Thanksgiving.

Their anniversary's

in the summer, fool--

whatever!

Anyway,

there was a storm,

and their car

missed a curve...

It was real tragic.

Yeah...

Okay, I think this is...

Yup, Walt silver...

The file.

So...

How do I go about

making the arrangements?

Well, there's no need.

As soon as Walt

found out he was sick,

he took care of

everything.

He left a very specific

set of instructions.

I didn't even know

that gramps was ill.

For the last six months, yeah.

If he'd told me,

I would've been here.

Emma, you were

very precious to Walt.

He bragged about you

all the time,

about your radio show

and all your success.

He even

showed me albums

of the trips

you took together.

Bobby, I really appreciate you

telling me this,

but still--

well, you know

what they say...

"Nothing drags heavier

than a big old sack of regret."

Walt went out

on his own terms.

You got to

respect that.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

Your grandfather wanted

a very simple funeral,

followed by a hearty lunch

back at the farm

for all of his friends.

He even specified

the menu.

Fried chicken,

garlic mashed potatoes,

corn on the cob,

and, of course,

pumpkin pie for dessert.

Yeah, that...

Wow, that sounds like him.

I'll take care of it.

There's no need.

The ladies are cooking up

a storm as we speak.

Services are Monday at noon.

Now, if you

can just sign...

These,

I can officially

hand over the keys.

The keys?

To the farmhouse?

He left me the farm?

You're his next of kin.

I don't actually know

what to do with a farm--

there's...

Something else.

There it is.

This...

Is for you too.

What are they?

They're pumpkin seeds.

Walt's

pumpkin seeds.

Why would he leave me these?

Maybe he wanted you to enter

the pumpkin growing contest,

keep the tradition going,

so to speak.

I-I don't know anything

about pumpkins.

You're

Walt's granddaughter.

It's in your genes.

It's part of your DNA.

Yeah, well,

there's a missing link

somewhere.

And this is

for you as well.

He always called me Emmy-Lou...

You can call me

if you have any questions.

"Dearest Emmy-Lou...

You're probably

not too pleased with me

for foisting the farm on you,

but here's the thing...

This land,

small though it may be,

is my legacy,

mine and grandma Eleanor's.

Every seed

was planted with love.

Every tree grows with

a bit of our souls in it.

I just can't go to my maker

thinking it will be razed

to become a highway

or a parking lot.

I know you're not a farmer,

but I also know

how smart you are.

"...To make sure

the place goes to someone

"I'm counting on you

to take care of the things

that I couldn't take care of.

I love you, my sweet girl..."

Hey, boys.

Hey.

Seth, it's been over a week.

When's my tractor

going to be ready?

You ready to pay me?

You know

the answer to that.

How about Betty bakes you

a couple of her delicious pies?

My freezer's already full

of Betty's pies.

I need cash, guys,

so I can open my shop.

So that I can earn the cash

to pay you.

Yeah,

right.

Well, you

figure it out.

You know, this is why

mighty muffler's

going to put you

out of business.

Yeah, but mighty muffler

isn't going to have

my flexible pay-as-you-can

schedule, are they?

But at least

I'd have my tractor.

Whatever,

it's done.

It's behind

the barn.

What?

Why didn't you just

tell me in the first place?

At least I can have a little fun

watching you squirm.

Seth, take a look

at this thing.

Seems to be missing

something under here,

I don't know.

Well, for a couple

of your pumpkin seeds,

I will.

I don't think I have any

to, spare this year.

I need that prize money.

Russell, how about you?

Well, no offense,

but I can't share

my winning seeds.

Why don't you ask your

new neighbor over there?

Walt's

granddaughter.

Now, she's got seeds.

Really?

Walt's seeds?

Yeah, and we all know

what that means.

Gigantic

pumpkins.

Monsters.

I might have to

check that out.

Okay, let's see,

what do we got here?

Okay, it's

good as new.

Obliged.

You know, Russell,

that boy's a lost ball

in tall weeds.

Hello, hi, there's someone

outside my house.

It's the silver farm.

Route 7.

Can you please hurry?

Stay where you are.

I have mace.

And I have wd40.

Okay...

Who are you,

and what are you doing?

I'm fixing the lock,

and I'm your neighbor.

I'm going to stand up now,

nice and slow.

Okay?

I'm Seth Cullen.

I live next door.

The junkyard?

Yeah.

Home sweet home.

Hi.

Emma silver.

So, do you always break

into people's houses?

Well, do you always threaten

to mace your visitors?

I'll have you know

that this is

a very sensible precaution

for a woman who lives alone.

Well, maybe

you haven't noticed,

but these aren't exactly

the mean streets.

Okay, you could have knocked.

I did knock.

You didn't answer,

and that lock's been jammed

for weeks,

and I fix things,

you know?

It's what I do.

Okay, um....

Well, I'll just

get my purse, then.

How much?

For what?

The lock.

Nothing, I'm just...

Trying to be neighborly.

Okay, well, thank you, then.

You're welcome, then.

You know what,

actually,

since I'm here,

um...

You expecting

somebody?

Sort of.

Quinn?

You called Quinn?

Everything

okay here?

I got a call about

a disturbance.

Yeah.

I was mistaken.

I believe

the technical term

is "paranoid."

And I believe

the legal term

is "breaking and entering."

I was fixing

your lock.

Well, who asked you to?

Your grandfather, actually.

We were friends.

We helped

each other out.

And on that note,

I think we'll just

call it a night,

won't we, Seth?

Yes, we will.

Welcome to

the neighborhood, Emma.

Nice service, father.

Just the way Walt

would have liked it.

Short and sweet.

It is so nice of you all

to do this, Mrs. Burns.

Mrs. Burns

is my mother-in-law, honey,

and we don't mention her

while we're eating.

You call me Marie,

and it is

our pleasure.

This whole town

loved your grandpa.

Kimmy, more

rolls, honey.

Good to see you made it

through the night.

Do you have

enough food?

Because there's

a feedbag by the barn.

Well, I'll keep that in mind

when I go back for seconds.

Did I mention

that I do auto repairs?

Because that little

BMW of yours

could probably use

a tweak.

German cars

are always over-tuned.

Why do I get the feeling that

you want something from me?

Well, as a matter of fact--

is Seth

bothering you?

He has a habit

of doing that.

Just like Bobby

has a tendency

to run off

at the mouth.

Can I talk to you

in private?

Sure, yeah.

Thanks.

In his letter,

gramps refers to

"things he couldn't

take care of".

Do you know

what he meant by that?

Your grandfather was in debt.

Serious debt.

Gramps was as sensible

as they come about money.

True,

and at the time,

it seemed sensible

to take out a small mortgage

on the farm

when things got tough,

and when they got tougher,

he took out

a second,

and then your grandma

got sick...

Well, he just

always thought

he'd catch up.

How much?

75,000.

75,000!

I need to get

back to Seattle.

Okay, how much

time do I have

to come up with

the money?

Well, the notes

come due in November,

and then if it isn't dealt with

by the end of the year,

the bank will foreclose.

I can take the equity

out of my condo,

but that still won't even

come close.

Who is the bank manager

around here?

Kyle finster.

He's also the mayor.

Perfect.

I will talk to him

first thing tomorrow.

He's out on the front porch

stuffing his face.

You don't sound

too fond of him.

Let's just say

that finster never

dipped his toes

in the milk

of human kindness.

I'm sure that

I can reason with him.

Well, you would be

the first.

So, mayor finster,

I'm sure you can see

how counter-productive

it would be to foreclose.

I may need

a bit of time,

but I'm sure I'll find

the right buyer.

We already found

the right buyer.

You do?

Who is it?

Well, I'm not

at Liberty to say,

but let me assure you,

it all comes under the umbrella

of the growth incentive

for our fair town.

I have a feeling

we're not talking about

a local farmer.

Well, I did say

"growth incentive."

Mighty muffler,

subdivision, condos,

that sort of thing?

Exactly.

Well, the bank can't

do anything

until November, right?

It'll be here

before you know it.

More chicken,

mayor?

Don't mind

if I do.

Ooh, just...

Hi, um...

Look, I know

this may not be

the best time

or place, but...

I will give you $100 each

for a couple

of your pumpkin seeds.

What?

But it's really

all I can spare right now.

I'm a little busy right now.

Okay, 110.

That's final offer.

That went well.

That was a great

send-off for Walt.

We'll be seeing

you around.

Thank you.

Bye.

You make sure

you call me.

I will.

Bye, thank you.

You're welcome.

...what a super day!

This is Savannah grace,

and you're listening to

Savannah's super Seattle!

It's the first day

of my new show,

and we are going to have

an amazing time--

Hello!

Emma...

Remember I told you

how nothing's going to change?

Ed, my show!

As I've just been fired,

I think I may have been

misinformed.

Wait, what?

How?

I-I don't understand.

I think you'll

find your answers

from the new

station manager.

You'll find her

in my former office.

Great working with you, Emma.

Best of luck,

...come on, people,

black is so yesterday.

Let's talk about pink.

You cannot not love pink.

Pink is, like,

the best color in the world.

You have got

to be kidding me.

Savannah loves you!

Enter!

Ms.

Rinaldi-Rogers, I..

Emma silver,

of course.

I'm so sorry about

your grandfather.

Um, thank you.

Actually, I'm here

just because i--

you must know

Savannah grace.

We've never met.

Sorry, I'm actually

late for an interview.

It was awesome to meet you.

Awesome meeting you, too.

Why Savannah's on the air

and you're not.

Well, actually,

I'm more than wondering.

I just thought

that all of this could wait

until after you returned.

How much I value

your contribution here.

Shall we walk?

So, what

is going on?

The new kbmu

is all about youth.

Savannah's been on

three magazine covers

she is the face

of young America.

Okay, but we're

on the radio.

I was speaking

metaphorically.

I'll speak

literally.

My show's ratings

have gone up 33%

in the last

six months.

Yes, but that 33%

doesn't consist of

the demographics

we're aiming for,

which is the

18 to 24 year-olds.

So that's why

I'm being replaced?

You're not

being replaced.

You're being

reassigned...

Reassigned?

Yeah, to "green

is the new black."

Okay, what is that?

It's the program

that was formerly titled

"the garden gal."

You mean that really

boring gardening show

that no one listens to?

But we're going to bring it

into the 21st century.

Our market research

indicates

is very popular

with the younger demo.

I-I don't know anything

about gardening.

Well, you didn't know

anything about Seattle

when you got here,

but you figured that out

for the "pulse."

This is ridiculous.

I won't do it.

I have an iron-clad

three-year contract.

Your contract

is with the station,

not the program.

We're

reassigning you.

That sounds like

a terrific plan.

Let's just force your

on-air talent to do a show.

I mean, I might as well

broadcast from my tractor.

You own a tractor?

Technically, yeah,

on my farm.

You have a farm?

Temporarily, yes.

That's perfect!

That's the angle

I've been looking for.

We'll broadcast from your farm!

It's not in the middle

of nowhere, is it?

Um, it's where farms tend to be,

out in the country.

Where exactly?

About three hours from here--

that's beyond perfect!

So that the fans can watch it

on their computer!

18-to-24 year olds

will love it!

You'll be like Rachael ray,

except on the radio,

and not as peppy.

Okay, let's just hold on

for a second here, all right?

You literally

just thought of this idea

two seconds ago.

I mean, it's not

a done deal,

right?

Of course not.

I'm not insane.

Thank god.

For a second there

I thought that--

we'll do a test

run of six months.

Broadcast twice in a week,

and syndication

all across the country.

Okay, you have to be joking.

I've never been more serious

about anything in my life.

Go, go back

to your little farm.

Get busy.

We'll do a trial run

on Wednesday,

and broadcast on Saturday.

Ta ta!

You're putting

a webcam in the house?

Nobody said anything

about inside the house.

Take it up

with management.

Okay, where are

the others?

Well, there's one

right there,

one up there,

and another one

over there,

and we've got

three outside.

Now, they're all

placed and activated

to pick up anything you do

within a hundred yards.

So anybody with a computer

can just tune in and watch?

Kind of creepy?

Extremely.

All right, well,

here's a rig

in case you need to do

a remote broadcast,

and, good luck

with your show tomorrow.

This just gets

better and better.

Get your Bobby's blended!

It's a magical blend

of ingredients for you, sir!

Well, hello.

Hey... Bobby.

So, what's going on?

This is

the pumpkin parade.

Be well, Emma!

Hey...

So you,

change your mind

about the,

pumpkin seeds yet?

What is it with you

and the seeds?

The mighty muffler

chain is opening,

so I need to open

my own shop to compete.

To open my own shop

here on main street.

That's your

business plan?

A pumpkin?

Seth, Seth...

Seth, sorry,

my lawn mower's starter--

hey, whoa, whoa,

hold on a sec.

Emma, I will give you $200

for one pumpkin seed.

Think about it.

Think about it,

200 bucks.

Emma!

Ooh!

Get your skinny

butt over here...

I just got back

from Seattle.

Any of you think you can grow

a big pumpkin this year?

Now, I mean a big,

orange, monstrous gourd!

A pumpkin so big

that when people see it,

they will hide their children

and scream for their mommas!

I've been hearing

that same speech

all my life,

and it still

gives me the chills.

And how many of you

really speak pumpkin?

Who is this guy?

Al, one of

the original

big pumpkin growers,

along with

your granddad.

During the contest,

keeping things kosher.

This is a great day

for your town,

but it's also a day

to remember someone

who was close to our hearts.

Walt silver.

Now, Walt was a hell

of a pumpkin grower.

But most of all,

he was a good friend

to all of us.

So I would like

to dedicate

this year's contest

to Walt silver!

And Walt must be

smiling down on us,

because this year's winner

will go home...

With this!

$25,000?

I like the sound of that.

The pumpkin almanac

will double the $25,000

if anyone beats the world record

of 1,878 pounds!

$50,000?

I'd like to get

my hands on that.

I'll say.

Yeah, dream on,

sweetheart.

Are you ready?

Yeah!

Ten...

Nine, eight, seven...

Six, five...

Four, three...

Two, one!

I can do this.

It's in my genes.

What is?

I am going to grow

a giant pumpkin

and collect

that prize money.

This is like reading Chinese,

underwater,

with a blindfold on...

Who is it?

It's your neighbor!

Seth Cullen!

I pre-announced myself

with a knock,

followed by a friendly exchange

of pleasantries.

I'll let

myself in.

Of course you will.

So,

if you are here about the seeds,

the answer is still no.

A-ha.

Well, I found this

by your mailbox.

It's got a Seattle postmark.

Ooh, great.

I've been

waiting for this.

I see you're adjusting

to the country life.

And I saw

the trucks outside.

What are you doing,

a reality show

or something

like that?

Survivor,

valleyville?

I'm broadcasting

my radio program

from the farm.

Nice.

What are you

going to talk about?

The earth...

Flowers...

Animals, growing things.

I see,

and do you know anything

about those things?

Yes.

You know,

it's been really lovely

chatting with you like this,

but I've got to get back to,

you know...

Okay.

Okay, 300 apiece.

What?

Like I said before,

they aren't for sale.

Besides, I need them.

For what?

Well, i'm

going to enter

the growing pumpkin

contest myself.

Why in the world

would you

want to do that?

Because I like challenges.

You like challenges.

All right, let me just make sure

I got this straight.

You are going to plant those

little seeds in the ground,

you're going to nurture

them, protect them,

watch them grow

to unbelievable sizes,

and then you're going to

haul them off

to the contest,

is that it?

Is that your plan?

Yes, and I

intend to win.

And you thought my

business plan was flawed.

Right, well,

it was really nice

speaking with you.

Hey, my pleasure.

To hear what you have to say

on your radio show

about growing things.

Should be very educational.

This is Emma silver

coming to you from

the all new, eco-friendly

"green is the new black" show!

We're going to be broadcasting

for the next six months

from valleyville, Washington,

scenic home

of giant pumpkins.

Right, now, I know that usually

on shows like this,

the host goes on and on,

but I want to hear

from you listeners.

What do you have to say

about gardening,

mother earth,

and anything you like

that's green,

because as we all know...

Green is the new black.

All right,

all lines are opened.

888-555-4845.

All right, caller one,

you're on.

What do you want to tell us?

I have a question.

Wonderful. S hoot.

How do I tell if

a mushroom is, like, poisonous?

You know, I have,

often asked myself

that very same thing, and...

Seems like

there's a lot of options.

I know.

And we're going to make,

like, soup.

No! No, no, no,

don't do that.

Not until you've consulted

a professional.

I thought you were

a professional.

Right...

Okay, so,

in my professional opinion,

I would just throw

all of the mushrooms away

and go to the supermarket.

I recommend

mom's organic mushroom soup.

Very tasty, low sodium.

Okay, next caller.

Wh-what would you

like to share with us?

I don't know.

I have a question, though.

Another question.

Of course, okay.

What is it

you would like to know?

Are dragonflies dangerous?

Just a moment...

Are you looking it up?

Yes, you are.

I can see you!

Busted!

No, i-I'm just checking

on the nitrogen content

of a new potting mix

that's about to hit the stores.

I mean, come on,

don't you people know

how to multi-task?

Okay, next caller.

Sorry, we'll have to deal with

organic mulch next time,

because our time is up.

All right, this is Emma silver,

reminding you

to smell the coffee,

drive carefully,

and, of course,

join us again on Monday.

Unbelievable.

Unbelievable

how time flies by

when you're doing

such a fascinating show.

Bye!

Hello.

Well, that was a disaster

to rival

the sinking of the Titanic.

Who forced me to do

this stupid show.

Are you

going to quit?

Not in this lifetime!

Well, then, the only other

option you have

is to get better.

Fast.

I'll be listening on Monday.

Go away!

We'll go away...

Eventually.

Girls...

Nice!

Hello...

Hi, hi, hi.

Aw, we heard

your broadcast.

Figured

you might need

a little cheering up,

and these are

just in case

our sparkling

personalities

don't do the job.

Should we

come back later?

Are you kidding?

The corkscrew's

in the kitchen drawer,

and the glasses

are on the top shelf.

All right, girl!

This farming stuff

isn't that hard.

That's the last

of Walt's seeds.

Onto the growing lamps.

Follow me, girls.

There...

So that's what

that thing is for.

You want to

keep the soil

at 82 degrees.

You don't want

the seeds to dry out.

How do you know

all of this stuff?

Jeff grew

the damn things

till I put

my foot down.

He used to keep

the seeds in the bathtub

underneath

an electric blanket.

I couldn't even

bathe our own kid.

That's nothing.

Russell sold my car last year

so he could buy a forklift

to haul his pumpkins around.

Hank sleeps in the field

with his pumpkins,

arthritis and all.

Okay, that is just crazy.

The whole giant pumpkin thing

is an obsession.

Last year,

some maniac drilled a hole

into the champion

pumpkin,

stole the seeds.

Pumpkins are

like thoroughbreds.

You have to write

the parents down.

Okay, this just gets

freakier and freakier.

Mother nature never intended

for these puppies

to grow so big.

They are fragile!

They can grow 30,

40 pounds overnight.

One tiny little crack...

Blaam!

It's all over.

But the cryin'!

So are we done for now?

You'll wish we were.

We have to sing to them.

Excuse me?

It's what

your grandpa did.

It's pretty strange,

but it worked for him.

Any particular song?

Yeah, afraid so.

Betty?

Come on,

girl, sing!

they can't

hear you!

I cannot

thank you all enough.

I just wish

we could tell you more,

but, you know, our guys

are pretty tight-lipped

about their pumpkins.

The journal!

That's right!

What journal?

He carried it everywhere

during the season,

it had all of his

growing secrets in it.

Okay, what does it look like?

A brown book

with a soft

leather cover.

It's about, um,

this big,

and, honey,

it is filled with secrets.

Hello?

Your yankee

doodle serenade

is a YouTube sensation.

The website's had

over 100,000 hits already

in 12 hours.

The younger demo loves

that freaky giant

growing-pumpkin thing.

I totally forgot

about the webcams.

I'm going to build

an advertising campaign

around it.

You're doing what?

Yup, "Emma silver

grows the big one!"

I can see it on buses,

park benches,

magazines...

No, no, no, no,

let's just take a step back.

Now, make sure

the show focuses on the contest.

The world will be watching,

so you better win.

Ciao!

Great...

One more thing.

Oof, what?

It's too early for this.

You're going in the drawer.

That's it.

Yes...

No, this can't be right...

You found

the journal.

Yup, that's the good news.

The bad news is,

I can't understand it.

What? Why?

"She looks to the sun.

"Her skin is pale

those first days,

"but glows more strongly

with each ray."

It sounds

like poetry.

I know Walt

wrote poems.

"She is wind

and water.

Love her like

there is no other."

It's code.

Pumpkin

poetry code.

Walt did love his pumpkins.

He called them

his orange ladies.

Okay, how do I break

this pumpkin code?

I don't know.

Let me look?

"She is hungry for your kiss.

"Feed her

with the bounty

of your being."

I'd say that's about manure.

It's divided into months,

so is that the key?

I have no idea.

So, that's Walt's famous

pumpkin Bible?

What does it say

to do next?

She puts her bare feet

in the warm soil."

Sounds like

it might be time

to plant them

outside soon.

Yeah, maybe.

Thanks.

You're welcome,

but that is

the last free advice

you're going to get,

unless you would

like to partner up?

In case you

haven't noticed,

we don't exactly

get along that well.

Well, we don't have to,

to grow pumpkins.

I need to do this

on my own.

Okay, I hear you.

Although there are

certain things

that can be better

when you do them

with someone else.

We're talking

about pumpkins.

I'm talking

about pumpkins.

Unless...

You're not talking

about pumpkins.

So, folks,

thank you for your Patience

while we get

the kinks worked out,

and for following along

via webcam as...

Emma grows the big one.

Okay, as you can see,

my plants are doing great.

All right, let's go outside,

where I will be transplanting

my little plants

any day now,

somewhere right around...

Here!

All right, this is Emma silver,

reminding you

to smell the coffee,

drive carefully,

and, of course,

join us next time.

Bye!

Hey, Seth!

Hey, Bobby.

I'm taking a load

of my special blend

over to Emma's.

Well, I'm sure

she'll be appreciative.

Yeah, well,

it's been forever

since we had

any sophistication

so I want to impress her

with the good stuff.

Right.

Well, if a truckload of manure

won't do it, Bobby,

I don't know what will.

Thanks, buddy!

Good luck.

Hey, Bobby,

what have you got there?

Well, I have

a surprise for you.

I love surprises.

Well, then, you are

going to love this.

This is

Bobby's blend supreme.

And I throw in a little

bit of bat guano

to give it

that extra kick.

That's great.

You don't have to worry

about it or anything.

I left a big old pile of it

in my living room

and there wasn't even

a trace of toxicity or stench.

Wow.

That is just

so nice of you.

Yeah...

It's all for you.

Thanks.

Now, that

is romantic.

I see Bobby brought

you his gift.

Yeah...

What am I supposed

to do with it?

I can think of

a few things.

Walt tilled it into

the ground, though.

How?

With his tiller.

It's in the shed.

You know...

It's probably

out of gas.

You knew

it was out of gas!

I suspected.

Big difference,

but I'll

tell you what.

I'll start it

for you.

Then all you

got to do is steer.

The tiller

will do the rest?

And...

Don't let the cameras

make you nervous.

Although...

My offer still stands.

You want to partner up,

I'll take care of

all the machinery,

the tiller, tractor,

all that stuff.

Partnering up as in

splitting the prize money?

Yeah, that sounds fair to me.

Not interested.

Besides,

I don't really need you.

I have secret

growing information.

Yeah,

I'm sure you do.

Okay...

You're doing great!

Ooh...

You broke

the casing.

You bent the blades,

you broke

the fuel line,

not to mention

the fence.

No, I'm fine, it's okay,

thank you for asking.

Come on, face it,

you do need me.

So, are we going to

partner up or what?

Over my dead body.

I don't think that's

going to take very long...

I'll get the tiller!

Come on, Marie.

No, they won't.

I'm bringing the beer.

You play

poker, Emma?

I know my way

around a deck.

Brought

some new blood.

Hey, everyone.

You know, if you play

the way you till,

this could make for

a very interesting evening.

No, come on in, join us.

Please.

I fold.

This brie

is heaven, Emma.

Not as good

as the gouda, though.

Only thing you know

about cheese is cutting it.

Okay, that's enough, boys.

I'm out.

Okay, slick,

I will raise you...

Two.

I re-raise you...

Two.

Well, you know

what they say...

I'm out.

All right, call.

Okay,

let's see--

She got

you, buddy!

Got smoked?

Our city girl knows

what she's doing.

Yeah, well, I paid

most of my college tuition

from playing poker.

That's funny,

'cause I spent most

of my time studying.

You went to college?

Yeah, I went

to college.

Stanford.

Engineering,

actually.

Really?

I would think

that a Stanford man

would play smarter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just deal,

it's not that funny.

Wasn't that funny...

All right,

you two,

what about me?

I know you're bluffing.

You do?

I'm out.

You know, you should

probably fold too.

I raise you four.

Four?

Tell you what,

you want to make this

real interesting?

What do you have in mind?

I win this hand,

you and me...

Pumpkin-growing partners.

And if I win,

you do all of my tractor work,

my tilling,

and all

the heavy lifting.

No charge, of course.

Yeah, okay,

I'm in.

Let's see what you got.

Full house,

Jacks over kings.

Somebody's working.

That...

That's a really

good hand, yeah.

I have...

I have two pair.

I have a pair

of black eights,

and I have this pair

of red eights.

Well, I guess

that does it...

I'll see you

at sunrise, partner.

Nice, nice...

Emma, always a pleasure.

We are back with

another broadcast

from pumpkin central.

Now, so far,

we have tilled the soil,

and we have transplanted

our seedlings,

so, the lines are open.

Do you have

a pumpkin question for me?

No, I have one

for your partner, though.

You know what, I'm sorry,

but he's not available.

I can see him

right behind you!

This is really important.

Seth?

Someone needs to talk to you.

Cool.

All right.

Just put these on?

Hello?

How can I help you?

My girlfriends and I

think you're hot!

Well, thank you.

And we'd like to know

if you're single.

That is not

a pumpkin question.

Why, yes, actually,

I am single.

We think you have sexy eyes.

Please.

He does not.

How can you say that?

Because I am

sitting right here

looking at him,

and he is...

Average.

At best.

You must be blind.

Okay, do you have

a pumpkin question?

Seth, call me at 978--

Hey! That was rude.

She was nice.

Get dates

on your own time.

Okay.

Caller two,

you're on the air.

Hi, Emma, it's Bobby.

Hey, Bobby.

Do you have

a question?

Yes, I do.

Are you free for dinner?

What are those?

Hey...

Greenhouses.

Yeah, the journal says that

"she enjoys

gentle breezes

and summer days."

Well, I put a fan

in each of the greenhouses

and each house maintains

a constant 85 degrees--

a nice summer day

temperature.

I guess that makes sense.

Okay, where are you going

in that dress?

I'm, going to dinner

with Bobby.

Okay--

yeah...

But I actually need you

to help me

with these.

Okay, I'll help you tomorrow.

Okay.

Okay, no, that's great.

I mean, if you want to

chance the coyotes

getting at

the crop tonight.

Coyotes?

Yeah.

Well, I just thought

that was you.

Um, you know what,

you should've told me before.

But, um...

I will help you

first thing tomorrow. Okay?

Okay.

I mean, if there's

anything left.

Have fun

at dinner!

I will!

Well, Emma, I had

a really good time.

Your choice of wine

was perfect.

My god...

What?

Coyotes...

Coyotes, coyotes.

We have to scare them off!

With what?

What are you doing?

Coyotes!

I have to...

Get out! Scram!

You maced me!

Okay, what were you

doing there?

I was checking

the greenhouses!

I can't believe

you just maced me!

Okay, I thought

you were a coyote.

Coyotes don't eat pumpkins.

No, he said...

You are lucky

it was just mace.

My bag?

Sure.

Thank you.

I had a really

good time.

Me too.

- Good night.

- Good night!

Seth, you ruined

the end

of a really

lovely evening.

Bobby, trust me,

one of these days

you are going to thank me

for saving you

from that lunatic.

It takes one

to know one, my friend.

You know

what I don't get?

Why is she so gung-ho

on winning this contest?

Well, you didn't

hear it from me, but...

Walt's farm's

in big trouble,

and she wants to

pay off the loan

so it doesn't go

to some big developer.

Good night.

Hi there.

Good morning.

Are you...

You going

somewhere, or...

To your place.

I-I was just going to

leave this on your door.

"Seth, I shouldn't have

maced you.

I'm sorry."

Apology accepted.

Actually I was,

just coming over here

to apologize to you,

you know, for the,

whole coyote thing.

Yeah, why did you

lie about that, anyway?

You wanted to ruin

my date with Bobby.

Why?

You wouldn't

understand.

Try me.

Okay, um...

I was trying to keep Bobby

from getting hurt.

You thought I would hurt him?

No.

I would.

The sun mixes with the moisture

beading on her skin."

I'm don't think

that means sprinklers.

I'm telling you,

they need water.

Finally!

The stop I've been waiting for.

How are Walt's seeds doing?

And a couple more

back there as well.

So?

No.

Well, y-y-you don't have

enough pumpkins here

to make a pie.

They should be

huge by now!

You should be up

to your knees

in pumpkins!

I told you

those greenhouses

well, your singing didn't

help things, did it?

Okay, this isn't

"American idol"!

Yeah, it's not

American express, either!

What is that

supposed to mean?

Not everything

can be bought

on a credit

card, okay?

Comes in a ups box

from Seattle or New York--

quiet down,

you two!

Now, look,

I'm not supposed to

be giving out advice

during

the competition,

so you did not

hear this from me--

Feed those babies!

They're starving!

More fertilizer?

Truckloads.

Don't say it.

Told you so.

Don't say it.

Hey, Seth!

Could you explain to our

listeners and webcam viewers

what exactly it is

that you're working on?

It's an extreme

nutrient machine.

Okay, can you tell us

how it works?

Thank you.

Why, certainly, Emma.

You put the raw manure

in there,

and then the machine

mixes it with water

in there,

and then

a time-release mechanism

pumps it to the pumpkins.

Right, and how much

manure does it take?

That depends.

How much can you

come up with?

Me?

Yeah, you.

I do the machines,

remember?

Okay, you know what,

after the show,

I will run down

and get some of

Bobby's blend.

This machine doesn't take

commercial fertilizer.

Only the real deal.

Raw manure.

So, you want me

to collect--

the latimer farm

just down the road?

Lots of horses.

Have fun.

So, there you have it, folks.

One more step towards

our march to victory.

You done good.

Really?

I am so pleased.

I mean, I would hate

to have messed up

collecting horse poop!

Come on,

you want to win, right?

No, I want to

go home,

all right? To the city.

Where they have movies,

and concerts, and lattes,

and where it actually

smells good!

Drama queen!

Would you like to go

to the movies with me?

There aren't any theaters here.

There's actually

a very elegant theatre

is this another one

of your coyote stories?

Movie starts

in 20 minutes.

Okay, I'll go

put my clothes on.

Not on my account.

This better be for real.

Okay.

John, go,

go on in there.

All you have to remember

is to be sincere--

this is great.

I told you.

Okay, you get up,

wander around,

stretch your legs,

whatever.

I got to change

the reel.

You know, I love

old movies.

Me too.

Sturges,

Wilder, capra.

Man, they just don't make 'em

like that anymore.

Hey, there, kitty, you lost?

Hungry's

more like it.

She's yours?

Um... yeah.

Her and...

A couple others.

Okay, actually,

I got five cats,

but don't tell anyone,

all right?

I miss having a cat.

Really?

Really, seriously?

Because a grown man

shouldn't have five cats.

No, um, you know,

I wish I could, but...

My life right now,

it's just too much

responsibility.

Right, yes, I know.

I know, this is just

the big stopover

on your way back

to your other life, right?

Can I ask you something?

Well, you can ask.

I'm not sure

I'm going to answer.

Why is a Stanford

engineering grad

making a living

fixing cars and tractors?

Who said

I'm making a living?

You're serious, um...

Okay, well,

I had a cush job once

at a big firm in L.A.,

and I had the house

with the pool, and the car,

and the girlfriend,

and the whole thing.

A lot of years flew by

before I finally woke up

and realized

that I was wasting my life.

And that's when

you came to valleyville?

Well...

It's home, you know?

I like the honesty.

I like the small town kindness.

It just...

It kind of suits me, you know?

What about the girlfriend?

She lasted a whole week

before she ran off screaming.

I'm sure you can empathize.

I seem to remember

Walt saying something

about you having

a boyfriend in New York.

That didn't

work out.

Why, what happened?

My job.

I got this great offer

in Seattle.

I went, he stayed.

Wow, you must really

love your work.

I guess what I really love

is talking to people.

You know, ever since

I was little,

I dreamed of having

my own talk show,

and my parents used to save

the empty paper towel rolls,

and I would use them

as microphones

and interview my Barbies.

I even had a name picked out--

but that would require you

to have friends.

Come on,

that's a joke.

No, I know

it sounds stupid.

No, it doesn't sound

stupid at all,

not at all.

I'm sure your parents

would be very proud.

Thank you.

Well, um, reel's ready.

Let's watch some more movie.

Okay, be prepared...

To be entertained.

Now, please, John,

you won't let me down,

will you?

Mother says

good luck, too.

Please, please believe

every word of it.

He turned out to be

a wonderful person, John.

John Doe,

the one in the speech.

I've actually

fallen in love with him.

Okay, the ac is off,

so I'm interviewing

valleyville's

pumpkin widow support group

here at Marie's general store.

So how was

movie night?

Marie,

this is a gardening show.

Okay, so I'll

rephrase that.

Um, did anything bloom

in that barn last night?

So,

can you ladies

tell me

what you talk about

while you meet?

Well, basically

just complain

about our men.

At least Jeff lets

you in the patch.

Yeah, Hank's got his

electrified

I have to toss his lunch

over the fence!

This time of year,

Russell's completely

lost interest in me.

For the orange hotties

in the garden.

Really?

We haven't been on a

vacation in 10 years.

Hank took the blanket

off our bed

and put it on his pumpkin.

Men, do you hear

what your women are saying?

Shame on you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, guess what,

Hank and Russell

have invited us

on a stealth run.

What's a stealth run?

That's when you sneak

into a farmer's patch

to find out

his secrets.

Now, I said no,

because these things

always turn out bad.

Who were they

going to go spy on?

Our not-so-honorable

mayor finster.

Apparently his pumpkins

are already 1,000 pounds.

1,000 pounds?

We have to go.

Hey, I'm trying to be

the voice of reason here.

Yeah, well, tell that

to mighty muffler.

Let's go.

Good point.

So, what's the plan?

All right, finster's

at a christening--

no, no, no,

it's a wedding.

He'll be back

in an hour.

Fine.

So, I'm going to

wait in the truck.

I'll be the look-out--

it's my truck.

I stay in the truck.

Hank, you'll

fall asleep.

All right, we got to

sneak around the side,

because he's got

surveillance.

Hit the deck!

Now!

Look at you,

crawling in the dirt.

Keep going.

Yeah, I-I heard you

on Emma's show.

I'm sorry, honey.

Look, I'll take you

on a cruise, I promise.

Gotta go.

Look at that.

Let's go check out his barn,

see what he's using.

All right.

Now!

He's got nothing but

Bobby's blend here.

I didn't know

finster had a Harley.

Really?

Wow...

That's a '91 heritage!

Kitty...

Kitty?

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty...

Kitty?

Hank!

What are you

doing here?

Mayor?

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.

Here, kitty--

Hey! Hey!

Nobody move!

Go, go, go!

Hey!

Don't think I don't see you!

Seth Cullen,

I see you running!

You too, Russell!

Wait for me!

Ew!

Stay away!

I stink!

Yeah,

I noticed!

Come on...

Hey! Hey!

I'm sorry!

Come on!

Man!

How can you mistake a skunk

for a cat?

I don't know.

All I know is that

everything I do

ends up with me stinking.

What are you doing?

Moving upwind.

Look, I told you.

I told you this always

ends badly--

if I had known

there were going to be skunks.

What are you

looking for?

My wipes.

You are

way past wipes.

And this, this is

just great.

Better and better.

Holy Moses!

Who got hit?

Arrest

these two!

Come on, it was

just a stealth run.

What's the big deal?

It was

trespassing.

All right, someone needs

to take me home.

You get in my vehicle,

and I will arrest you.

I want these two

prosecuted

to the full extent

of the law.

Come on, you got to be

joking me.

I'm pulling you guys

out of pumpkin patches?

As far as I'm concerned,

she can go free.

She's not stinking up my jail.

Whoa! Jeez...

All right, Kate, it is late,

and I have had

a hell of a day, so--

really?

You're kidding me.

Well, yeah, I mean,

of course I'll be there.

Um...

Yeah, I'll ask.

Thanks for the ride.

Well, well, well.

Is it safe to approach?

If you like

tomato juice.

So how was

your night in jail?

Well, other than

having to fix two CBS,

a scanner, and a coffee maker,

it was very relaxing, actually.

Well, you won't have

to fix anything

at the four seasons.

What?

The station called,

and, we are

number 2 in the market.

That's great!

Congratulations,

that's awesome!

So they're doing a promo shoot

tomorrow in Seattle,

and a big party

afterwards

at the hotel.

Congratulations again.

My boss wants me to bring you.

Good publicity,

and, well,

there is a free dinner.

Well, I never turn down

a free dinner.

So you'll go.

Well, that depends.

Um....

Who's asking?

Are you asking,

or is your boss?

Um... I'm asking.

Then yes.

Excellent.

So it's a date.

Sort of.

"Sort of" works

just fine for me.

Okay, then.

Okay.

Bye.

Where's the farmer?

If you're talking about Seth,

I'm sure

he'll be here soon.

Don't tell me he

fell off the tractor.

Nope, I'm just fine.

Hi.

Savannah grace.

You're a lot

bigger in person--

Kate Rinaldi-Rogers,

station manager.

Let's get you

into wardrobe.

You too.

Well, honky-tonk

showdown.

Look at you two.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Right this way.

This should

make you feel

right at home.

Yes, ma'am,

it certainly does.

I mean, you have

captured the lifestyle

perfectly,

and the cow and the pig,

very nice touch.

Very nice touch.

Okay, people,

let's do this.

Hi, this is Emma silver.

When I left Seattle

for a life on the farm,

I thought that I would die

without my lattes,

the bright lights

and the heartbeat

of the city.

Lattes are just

coffee with milk,

and the stars in the country

outshine every light

in the city

without even trying.

As for that heartbeat?

Well, I learned that it lies

in people, not places.

The people of valleyville

are the most sincere people

that I have ever met,

especially my giant

pumpkin growing partner,

who gives all-new meaning

to "growing the big one."

And...cut!

That's a keeper.

Excuse me.

Wow.

Wow...

So, what part of that

did you mean?

Every word.

Marcus masters,

vice president

of worldmedia,

and may I say,

you have

a face for TV,

not radio.

Thank you.

This is Seth--

I've been following

your career.

New York, Seattle pulse,

the whole pumpkin thing.

Now that I see you

in the flesh,

I'm sold.

On what?

We need a new

morning co-anchor

at New York morning

on wmbc-TV,

and we want you.

Me?

Yes, you.

Are you in?

Well...

Yeah.

I'm in.

I've got to run.

I'll phone

with the details.

Welcome back

to the city.

Hey...

So I guess your dreams

are coming true?

Yeah, I guess.

I have to say, i'm

absolutely thrilled for you,

but you will have to

get a two-bedroom place

because I am

coming to stay, a lot,

as long as it's nice,

of course...

Where did you

disappear to?

You know,

you missed a free dinner.

I chewed on some straw

on the ride home.

I, wish

that you had stayed.

You had

your hands full.

Seth, I'm sorry

that I have to leave

right after the weigh-in.

Nah, there's nothing

to be sorry for.

I mean, you've got a chance

to do your thing.

If that's going to

make you happy, then...

By all means.

Yeah, but...

You and I...

I mean, us, I...

Sometimes you...

You plant a seed

and it doesn't take.

I...

We better get some sleep.

Um...

We've got pumpkins to tend to,

right?

Right.

Goodnight, Emma.

Night.

That is my extreme

nutrient machine.

Well, show me what you got.

What's wrong?

Not a thing,

city girl.

Now, that is

more like it!

What have you two

been doing?

Just been following

gramps' journal.

You know,

singing to it,

poetry reading,

massaging it.

The usual stuff.

Yeah, well,

keep up the good work.

You two are definitely

contenders now!

Thank you,

that's awesome!

Whoo!

Gimme a hug.

We're contenders!

Nice!

Sorry.

Yeah.

Hello?

Hey, Marcus.

Yeah, that sounds great.

I can't wait to get started.

What is all this?

Things I no longer

need to survive.

Well, goodbye,

boring coffee at home.

Thanks, Emma.

Well, thank you

for making me feel like

I'm a part of this place.

Well, that's what friends do.

Besides, you are

a part of this place,

but if you really

want to thank me,

stay.

The last thing

I need

when he could be

fixing my refrigerator

for free.

Well, we talked.

He understands.

You know, um,

I had to choose between a job

and a man once.

I chose Jeff.

Never regretted it.

Of course,

the job was at dairy queen.

You just follow

your heart, honey.

No.

Okay, guys, let's have a look.

Let's see what we got here.

Ooh, wow.

It's gynormous.

Holy moley.

Walt would be

proud.

You'd better cut

its thingy.

Thingy?

You mean the stem?

Yeah, we got to

cut the stem.

Here, you cut

the stem.

Me?

Yeah, you.

Okay.

How long do I

leave it?

About 10

or 12 inches.

You don't want it

to dry out.

Keep going...

Okay, there you go.

All right, I'll...

I'll go 'round

and get the truck.

Let's load this baby up!

I got

the tractor.

I'm going to leave you

in charge of the camera.

You know

how to work it?

Sure. I'm a kid.

Walt got the

trophy last year.

So we can give it

to the engraver

for this year's winner.

I'll go get it.

Oof!

Unbelievable.

I have something

pretty shocking

to show you.

What is it?

The real

pumpkin journal.

The one that

I found before

was just what it seemed...

Poems that gramps

wrote to grandma.

Okay...

"After July 1st,

water three times a day,

at least four gallons

per plant."

Boy...

"She opens her heart

to the sun,

"and the light caresses

all who look

upon her..."

You know, it's pretty amazing

that we managed

to grow pumpkins at all.

Yeah.

"My days, my heart,

and my soul belong to her..."

I say we stick

with the poetry.

Yeah, I had a feeling

that you would say that.

Yup.

Okay, I'm just going to...

Put this one away.

Yahoo!

People all over the country

are weighing right now,

and what do we care?

We got the mother lode

of pumpkins

here in valleyville!

Now, our next

competitor

is two-time champion

Hank moffat!

Bring 'er in, boys!

Careful, careful

with that tractor

'round the corner, come on,

come on, come on.

Lower it down, now...

There we go!

Okay, baby.

Do me proud. Do me proud.

Sorry about

the explosion, Hank,

but now you're

disqualified.

And now,

our last three top competitors

have yet to weigh in.

First,

Russell winslow's pumpkin!

Careful!

Come on, baby!

1,701 pounds!

Yes! Yes!

That's a marvelous achievement,

but not quite

the world's record, folks.

That's okay, baby.

And now,

our own mayor finster!

You're going to

have to step back

so we can

weigh it.

Okay, okay.

Whoa, doggy!

Another great number!

That's a winner!

And now,

our last pumpkin,

grown by Emma silver

and Seth Cullen

from Walt silver's seeds!

Hey, I just

want to say that,

no matter

what happens,

thanks for

putting up with me.

It seems like

just yesterday

when you maced me.

Now, look at that baby!

What do you think

of that, folks?

That is an amazing pumpkin!

A wonderful gourd!

Now, let me remind you

that the world record

is 1,878 pounds.

Now, silence,

so we can weigh

this magnificent beast!

I'm so nervous!

76...

77...

78...

79...

1,000...

800...

And 80 pounds!

We got the biggest pumpkin

ever grown!

Way to go, Seth!

Whoo!

Well, now it's time

to award the grand prize.

Get up here, you two!

Well, a lot of us

were skeptical

when you decided

to team up,

but you should be

really proud.

I know Walt is.

Yay.

Emma...

Thanks.

Here you go.

A total of $50,000.

So, we hear

you're leaving us.

You have any message

for valleyville

before you head out?

Well, for once, I don't

really know what to say,

except that...

From the moment I got here,

you've all made me feel at home.

This place not only

grows great pumpkins,

but great friends.

I am going to miss you all

so much.

Aw...

We'll miss you,

too, Emma.

Well...

Well...

I guess we should

get to the bank

so they can split up

this check.

Right.

Um, if we don't,

would you be able to

pay off Walt's place?

You know about that?

Emma, your grandfather

was the best man I ever knew.

Owing money

on his land

is nothing

to be ashamed of,

and you didn't answer

my question.

If I had the whole

prize money,

with the equity

from my condo,

I could pay off the debt.

Okay, do it.

What?

You heard me.

Okay, what about your shop?

What about mighty mufflers?

I have faith

in the people of this town.

They're not going to abandon me

for some fancy chain,

at least, I hope not.

Thank you.

I'll pay you back.

I know.

You know,

I think I finally realize

why you decided to stay.

Let's go.

Your limo

awaits, madam.

Yup.

Thank god

that is over.

Let's get back to

civilization, shall we?

Three-year contract,

with an option

to renew.

Our stylist will

meet you in the A.M.

Looks like we need to

Polish you up a bit.

I bet you're glad

to be leaving

these Hicks behind.

Wait!

Emma?

What's going on?

We got a plane

to catch.

I've changed my mind.

What?

I want the big pumpkin,

not the big apple.

Welcome back

to "Emma and friends."

I have a very special guest,

my co-world record-holder

in growing giant pumpkins,

Seth Cullen.

A pleasure

to be here, Emma.

All right, many of you

may be contemplating

growing your own giant pumpkins,

so if you have any questions

for the experts,

the lines are now open.

Caller one, you're on.

What's the secret

of growing giant pumpkins?

Bobby's blend!

It is. It really is.

It works.

Well, technically

speaking, yes,

the right manure

is important.

Caller two.

Are going to team up

again this year?

Well, actually,

that is a very

good question--

and one, actually,

that I would like

to answer,

if I may, um...

As some of you may know,

I'm a fix-it guy.

I like to think of myself

as a fix-it guy.

But there's

one thing

that I've been working on

for a while

that still isn't quite right,

and then suddenly

I realized

what was missing.

My god.

Pumpkin seeds.

Wow.

And this...

Come on. Give me

your hand.

Emma silver...

Will you marry me?

Come on, girl,

don't keep us waiting!

Yes, I'll marry you.

Ooh, hey, hey...

No.