Grotesque (2022) - full transcript

Higher
Universe Pictures.

- Honestly, Francois.

You chose the diviest
dive bar you could find?

This place smells
like an asshole.

- Blanche, the staff love it.

It's great for morale.

- So anyway, he rolls over
and looks at me and says,

"Blanche, tell me how
you feel about me."

And I'm like, "The same way
I feel about itchy sweaters.

"Now get the fuck outta my bed

"and don't touch anything
on your way out."



Blanche,
you're so funny!

- Don't touch me.

- So that's a common
misconception.

The majority of the organism
is actually underground.

The mushrooms are the fruit,
or the dick, if you will.

- You know, it's
hard to find a bar

that'll just pour you a
full glass of Bailey's.

I thought there was
a law against it.

♪ In record time ♪

- Can I see some ID?

♪ Believed in my style ♪

♪ You've captured
endless hearts ♪

♪ Now you've captured mine ♪

♪ The weight of the loss ♪



- Hi, Mildred.
- Hi, Mildred.

Hi, Mildred.

- Hi, guys.

Can I see the book?

Sure.

- Thanks.

♪ There ain't no
time for talking ♪

- Oh, good evening, everybody.

Welcome to Wednesday
night karaoke.

I am your host,
Croaky Okie Karl!

Give it up for our very
first superstar of the night.

Mildred Moyer!

- Hey, Mildred.

Knock 'em dead, Mildred.

- Miss Toucan sings?

- Apparently.

- She does have the
perfect face for radio.

♪ Dangle your feet off
the edge of a bridge ♪

♪ Wonder what it would be
like if you just let go ♪

♪ Wiggle your toes, swing
your legs back and forth ♪

♪ Take a dance, take a chance
while you're on the edge ♪

♪ 'Cause you won't ever go ♪

♪ You might be casually
suicidal though ♪

- I'd be overtly suicidal
if I had a nose like her.

♪ May offer you advice ♪

♪ They think they're
being so damn nice ♪

♪ Saying it's not worth the
price and they're right ♪

♪ But the fight doesn't
end right then and there ♪

♪ We all know, we all can
go casually suicidal ♪

- Hey Mildred, if you're lonely,

I know the perfect guy for you.

He's cute, Italian,
made of wood.

His name's Pinocchio!

- Oh, pretty good.

- Good job, Mildred.
- Yeah, good job.

- Give it up, you guys!

That was Mildred Moyer,
loud and proud, everybody!

Oh, you guys keep
it going though!

'Cause we have got
Blooming Wells CEO,

voulez-vous Francois Lalaine!

Give it up for...

- Fuck that shit.

I put my name in
before Francois.

I'm singing next.

- Francois's the boss.

- Oh, suck a dick, Anishka.

This isn't work, this
is the real world.

I'm going up.

No hard feelings, Francois!

Hit it.

Whoo!

Come on!

♪ Well now, ladies and gentlemen,
I just heard the news ♪

♪ I just ran right out of green
and it's giving me the blues ♪

♪ Baby, let's face it,
I do it all the time ♪

♪ I've got no money and I've
got my week set up on the run ♪

♪ Midnight jokers,
I'm talking to you ♪

♪ What you gonna do ♪

♪ Gonna run it down
passed out on the ground ♪

♪ They won't get the blues ♪

♪ Daytime jokers,
be awake to pain ♪

♪ I do it all the time ♪

♪ I'm passed out, legs
kicked to the pipe ♪

♪ And rolling the dice ♪

♪ Waiting, anticipating ♪

♪ Mean green ♪

♪ Celebration ♪

♪ Let's just remember
to pump those hats ♪

♪ A friend's weed
is a friend indeed ♪

♪ Let's get high ♪

- Everybody that was Bla...

Blanche!

- And don't forget it, bitches.

- Whoa!

- Excuse me, this is flat.

- I beg your pardon?

- It's flat.

- What's the matter, Mildred?

You inhale some of your
drink up your nose?

- Yeah, you did.

- Is there something
wrong with this drink?

- No.

- Good, thanks.

- Let's go fuck in the back.

- Bartender says it's fine.

- But it's not fine, it's flat.

- You think you know
more than the bartender?

- No, it's just, if I order
something I'm gonna pay for,

I expect it to be
made correctly.

- You're gonna
pay for that drink

or I'm gonna get Eddie
to throw you out.

- I guess I'll just drink it.

- Yeah.

- Great performance up there.

- I know, right?

Grammy speech!

- Okay, well, I would
like to thank my family,

but most of all, I'd
like to thank my millions

of fans around the world.

Well, this place blows.

Let's go to Roxanne's
across the street.

- Great idea, Blanche.

Oh, shut up, Nina.

- Fucking bitch!

Don't just stand there.

Help me!

Dave?

- Hey, Mildred.

Hi.

How, how's the internship going?

- It's good.

- All right, I'm out of here.

Have a good day.

- Morning.

- How'd that happen?

- We were drinking.

- Sounds like your night
was more fun than mine.

You know, Mildred,

I could set you up with someone.

There's a guy at my work.

He's a little older than
you, he's middle aged,

and he's on the heavier side.

He's got a little
bit of a weird eye.

- I don't wanna be
set up with anyone.

- Have you even
gone on a date the

entire time we've
lived together?

- A person's worth
isn't measured

by the number of notches
in their bed post.

- Don't you get lonely?

- And I suppose having a
different guy every night

of the week gives you some
sense of human connection?

- Is that jealousy I detect?

- No.

- Maybe you should
get another hobby.

This weird shit is a
real turn off to guys.

What a crime!

Listen,
Mildred, you're not ugly.

You could be attractive if
you just fixed your nose.

I know a doctor
who can take care

of it real cheap,
like real cheap.

Do you want me to set up
an appointment for you?

- Let me write this
down so you understand.

You know, Mildred,

people are prettier
when they smile.

- Do you know how many times
I've asked you for that report?

Four, four fucking times,

and I still don't have
it, you little shit stain!

Why are you here?

Why are you even here?

- I had something...

You're
doing nothing.

You're fucking incompetent.

Your mustache is stupid.

You might dress
like a porn star,

but every one of those girls
out there that slept with you

said you're a shitty lay, so
get the fuck out of my office!

You dress like a fucking dweeb.

Get out of my sight, get out!

- Hey, Mildred.
- Bye, Rick.

Hey Blanche, you guys didn't
pay last night when you...

It's 9:15, Mildred.

- Pardon?

It's 9:15.

- I don't understand
what you mean.

- Christ, Mildred.

It's 9:15, and I still
don't have my coffee.

Didn't I tell you yesterday

to bring me my coffee
in the morning?

Yes, I was going...

9:16 now, Mildred.

Do you think you could get
it to me by the weekend?

- Yes, Blanche.

Sorry.

- Looking forward
to the retreat?

- I can't go, it's my
sister's wedding on Saturday.

I'm the photographer.

- Too bad, should be fun.

- Pictures are fun too.

- Whoa.

Watch it, new girl.

You almost poked out
my eye with your nose.

- Come on, Lola, don't be mean.

- It's not her fault
she was born deformed.

- Ugh.

Ew.

- Yes, Francois,
I've already done it.

No need to worry.

Excuse me?

What are those?

- Cream and sugar.

I didn't know what you
took in your coffee,

so I brought both.

- Francois, can you hold
for a moment please?

Thank you.

Mildred, come here.

Closer.

More.

I'm gonna explain
something to you.

I'm VP of this company, do
you know what that means?

- Vice president?

- Mm-hm, now as vice president,

do you think it's a
good use of my time

to pour cream and sugar
into my own coffee?

Or do you think that's
something an intern would do?

- An intern, I guess.

Bravo.

Goddamn, Francois, where
do you find these interns?

The one with the enormous...

- Francois wants
you to run this over

to Diane at the salon.

- Lola, did you
cross out your name

and put mine down for Saturday?

- Yeah, I wanna
go to the retreat.

Francois said I could.

- My sister's wedding
is on Saturday.

I booked it off
the day I started.

- Remember what Francois
said, our company motto?

Be a team player.

I can be a team player
by going to the retreat.

And you can be a team
player by taking my shift.

See, it's a win-win.

- No, I booked that day...

- Diane's waiting on
that package, Mildred.

Get on it.

- Hey, Mildred.

- Hi Felix, how are you?

- Good, how are you doing?

- I'm good, how are you?

Oh, I just asked that.

Oh my God, I'm so
dumb sometimes.

- Mildred, it's okay,
I do it all the time.

- Is Diane here?

Yeah, she's just
in the back there.

- Mildred Moyer?

Is that you?

- Hey.

- It's me Doris Ennis.

- Yeah, I remember you.

- How long has it been?

- Since grade nine.

- Remember at the
school assembly when I

yelled out that you
had genital herpes?

- Yeah, I remember.

- You didn't come back to
school after that, did you?

- No, I switched schools.

- We used to do a lot
of mean stuff to you.

So what's new with you now?

Married, kids, anything?

- No kids, not married.

- I'm surprised you didn't
get your nose fixed by now.

God knows how much we
teased you about it.

Kids will be kids, right?

Anyway, I gotta go.

We should grab coffee sometime.

- Yeah, okay.

Here's your package.

- Can you sign this?

- Are you just
gonna stand there?

- Mildred, are you doing
anything on Saturday?

- Actually, I have to work.

- Oh, oh, okay.

- But not the whole day, why?

- No reason, don't
worry about it.

- Did you want to, I mean, did
you have plans or did, um...

- I don't really have plans,
but I guess if you're busy,

then I guess I'll
see you around?

- Yeah, okay.

- Well, can't you
get Mildred to do it?

Oh, Blanche and her friends
are going out tonight.

I'm gonna see if they
let me tag along.

Oh, the one with the big nose.

- It's not a big deal.

If you can't come,
you can't come.

What are the odds it's going
to be my only wedding anyway?

- Priscilla, why can't I
be one of your bridesmaids?

Mom said she asked you.

- I don't know, Mildred.

You just don't fit in.

- You mean I don't fit into your

unachievable ideal of beauty.

- It's not that unachievable.

Oh, come on, Mildred.

You should have a
thick skin by now.

- Yeah, one of them had
their tongue ripped out.

Their eyes were gone.

Some of them, their tents
were ripped to shreds.

- Gwen, what was
that doctor's name?

- I don't know how many times
I'm gonna have to tell him

if he wants to touch me there,
he's gonna have to pay extra.

- Hi, Mildred.

I'm Dr. Wash.

- Is it normal for
plastic surgeons

to work out of strip
club basements?

- It's been happening
more and more.

I started the trend though.

- Oh, polka dots, wow.

Hey, can I take this?

- Sorry about the mess,
but I can assure you,

I am 100% professional.

Beer?

Mm-hmm.

Sometimes the Lord sure
can pull some cruel pranks.

- That doesn't make
me feel any better.

- I'm not here to
make you feel better.

I'm here to make
you look better.

I bet hundreds of
people told you

that looks aren't everything.

- Yes, I've lost count.

- Something ugly
people always say.

Oh, I've altered that
picture you sent to show

what you would look like
after the procedure.

I take it you want
to go ahead then?

- Yes.

- This is the start of a
new life for you, Mildred.

See you here tonight at 11.

- 11, isn't that kinda late?

- I've got an engagement
I gotta attend beforehand.

But time isn't
what is important.

Results are important.

I'm gonna make you
beautiful, Mildred.

- Oh, thank you
so much, Dr. Wash.

- Oh, and Mildred, cash only.

- Goodbye, you ugly bitch.

- You're sure you're
not too drunk?

- I'm good.

Great party.

Thanks for the ride.

Mm, you're beautiful.

You got the money?

Ah, you are a lifesaver.

Come on in.

- Was that a rat?

- There are no rats in
Alberta, everybody knows that.

Just relax.

Now, just count
backwards from 10.

And when you wake up,
you'll be a new woman.

10, nine,
eight, seven, six, five,

four, three, two.

- Hey, Dr. Wash.

- Delmont.

I was kind of in the
middle of something here.

- You've been dodging my calls.

- I've been busy.

- Busy is good,
where's my money?

I got some of it.

- You just got back from
Mexico with your family.

Expensive trip, huh?

- My wife paid for the trip.

- That's a lie.

I always notice a brand
new car in your driveway.

You know how that makes
me feel when you're

going living large
and you owe me money.

Who is this?

One of your young
girlfriends you fix up

so you can take
advantage of 'em?

- She's just a patient.

- Yeesh, I see why she
wants a plastic surgeon.

Maybe I can help.

- No, don't!

- Hit him in the gut!

- I might not quite have
your skills, Doctor,

but I'll try my best.

Then again, I don't
think you want her back

after I'm done with her.

Here, you want some of this?

- Fuck off!

- It'll make a nice
meal for the dog.

Here, give me the rag.

You think he got the message?

- Yeah, I think so.

God.

Oh God!

Hey, honey.

Hi, yeah, I'm fine.

Okay, listen, I don't
want you to panic.

I need you to grab Lacey.

I need you to pack a
bag, just the essentials.

Hop into a car, get over
to work and pick me up.

No, don't worry about telling
your mother, just hurry!

- Dr. Wash.

Dr. Wash!

- Oh my God, what happened?

Where is your nose?

- I don't know, the doctor
wasn't there when I woke up.

Can you drive me
to the hospital?

- I can't even look at you.

Can't you call a cab?

- Prissy, please!

Just because I look
like this doesn't

make me a different person!

- Get away from me, you
Bride of Frankenstein!

- But I love you!

- Ew, gross, Mildew!

- Oh my God.

I'm so sorry.

- You fucking bitch!

- By the way, it was
me who ripped the head

off your Baby Molly
doll when we were kids.

- Mildred?

- Hi, Peter.

- What happened to your face?

- My baby noses fell off.

Have a lovely wedding.

Let me know if you need
any help with photos.

Prissy?

- Oh Gwen, we could have
been such good friends.

You're right, Gwen.

People are much prettier
when they smile.

Dave?

- Mildred?

Don't, don't kill me.

- I won't, I have
no problem with you.

Except for maybe
your taste in women.

Promise to fix that?

- Yeah, sure?

- Okay, good.

- What happened to your face?

- Botched plastic surgery.

- That sucks.

- Yeah, totally.

- So will you give
me like 10 minutes

before you call the cops?

- Sure.

Awesome, thanks.

Oh, hey, should we hug?

Bye.
- Bye.

- What happened to your face?

Botched plastic surgery?

- Yeah.

- Damn, does it hurt?

- Actually, quite a bit now
that I'm out of chloroform.

- Ah.

You want this?

- Oh my God, you're an angel!

- I just want to help.

- Ugh, that's nasty.

Maybe just a bit more
to numb the pain.

- Were you doing coke in there?

- No.

- I share with you, you
gotta share with me.

- Christ, Marilyn, if I
had some I'd share it.

What do you think I am?

- Why do you have
my husband's shirt?

- He left it at the gym.

I brought it here so you
can give it back to him.

- Oh, thank you.

- You're welcome.

- Are you guys ready,
we're all packed up.

- Road trip!

- How'd I get here?

- I came back to the bench
and found you passed out.

Figured you might need
someone to watch over you.

- You guys live here?

- No, we have a
five-star hotel room.

We're just hanging
here in the woods

for the inspirational
atmosphere.

- Patty says that you
got your face fucked up

from plastic surgery.

Why'd you do that?

- People convinced me I was
ugly and needed plastic surgery.

I couldn't afford
a licensed doctor,

so I went to a bargain
one and he did this.

- Talk about First
World problems.

- Physical appearance is a
huge part of self-identity.

It crippled myself self-esteem.

- Yeah, look at us sweetheart.

Like we really
feel sorry for you.

- I guess not.

So why do you guys live here?

- Drugs.

- Drugs.

- Drugs.

- Economic downturn.

Just kidding, drugs.

So you got nowhere to live now?

- I guess not.

I killed my roommate and my
sister, so I can't go home.

The police are probably
out looking for me.

You guys have no
problem with what I did?

- My brother shot a cop,
and he's on the run.

Who am I to judge?

- Good.

Because a whole lot more
people are gonna die.

- You're looking a little gungy.

Why don't I give
you a mask here?

I found it in the street.

- Cool.

How do I look?

- Like a force of nature.

- Thanks for everything, guys.

- Give 'em hell, Mildred.

- Marilyn, get the
fuck away from my car.

Your smoke's blowing in.

What's taking that
skank so long?

She trying on clothes in there?

Christ, Lola, how can
you eat all that shit

and still stay so skinny?

- Fuck you, it's not all for me.

- It wasn't an
insult, I'm jealous.

You wreak like a fucking
ash tray back there.

I should make you
ride in the trunk.

- Fuck you, Blanche!

- Oh God, look who's here.

Please, don't come over here.

Christ, what did I
do to deserve this?

Why did Francois even
invite these losers?

- Hi, Blanche.

Hi, Lola.

Hi, Marilyn.

There's only three of you.

I thought you said there was
no room in the car for me.

- There's not, you
take up too much space.

Maybe you should lay
off the donuts at work.

So funny, Blanche!

- Well, bye, Nina.

Hopefully you won't
get into a car crash

on the way out there.

- See you there!

- Hello, cruel world!

- Where's Felix?

- He doesn't work here anymore.

He wasn't exactly a team player.

- You know what?

Every time I come in here, all
the employees are rude to me.

- What do you want
me to do about it?

- Whoops, I missed.

No, stop!

No!

No, stop!

Oh, please, no!

- No!

- Doris Ennis.

Let's see what you've been
up to after all these years.

Oh, Doris is a teacher!

I hated teachers, they
were always so mean to me.

But let's deal with the
low hanging fruit first.

Hi, Doris!

- Holy shit.

- It's me, Mildred Moyer.

- What happened to your face?

- Wow, you still
don't like my nose.

There is just no
pleasing some people.

You know, I never
forgave you for all

that shit you did to
me back at school.

- Yeah, what are you
gonna do about it?

- I don't know.

I'll just make it up as I go.

I wanna see something.

I knew it.

Genital herpes!

- Where are you headed?

- Roxy's on 137th, thanks.

- Nice mask.

- I know, right?

Remember me?

- No.

- We had a disagreement
about the carbonation level

of a gin and tonic.

- What the fuck are
you talking about?

- How can you not remember, I...

Fuck it, I'll just kill you.

Not so tough now that you don't
have your douchebag bouncer

to protect ya, are ya?

Taking back my money, that
drink was fucking flat!

♪ Heading down to the local
bar, walked in the door ♪

- Last time I was here,
you made fun of my nose

while I was trying to sing.

- I did?

- May I have that pool cue?

You know, it's rude to ridicule

someone's physical appearance.

- Well, I was probably drunk.

- Are you drunk now?

- Yeah.

- Good, that'll make
this less painful.

And you, you were
laughing while your buddy

was making fun of me.

- I'm sorry, I'm
a terrible person.

I only laughed 'cause I
just wanted to fit in.

I'll never do it again.

- Hmm.

Wow, remorse and insight
into your own actions

and the willingness to cease
the inappropriate behavior.

If more people were like you,

the funeral homes would
be less busy this week.

As you were.

I'll let you live, sir.

- I no longer have a pool
partner, can I just go?

- Yeah, sure.

Geez, at least try to
maintain your dignity.

Hey, if I see one more
flat gin and tonic,

I'm coming back for
you, understand?

I wanna see bubbles, goddamn it!

Hmm.

Hey, here you go.

Thanks.

You're a beautiful soul.

- Beauty's not
only on the inside.

- Well, I can't
judge your outside.

I haven't seen your face.

I've had worse.

- Oh my God, that's
like the nicest thing

anyone's ever said to me.

Here, let's have a hug.

- Okay.

- Is that?

Oh my God, it is.

- So I'm at this big
mansion party, man,

running into these two kids,

trying to tell 'em
about music, man.

I'm telling these guys, man,
if it wasn't for the '60s,

people really even really
wouldn't know what love truly is.

- Nick Zane, oh my God, I
can't believe that's you.

I'm your biggest fan.

- You supposed to be a
superhero or something?

Superhero?

What part of this doesn't
scream serial killer?

- So were you at
the show tonight?

- No, actually I was
on a killing spree,

but then I just saw you here
and I was like, "Oh my God!"

- Oh, well, nice to meet you.

Do you want my autograph?

- No, actually I got your
autograph a few years ago

at one of your concerts.

I partied on your party
bus for a few minutes

before your guys threw me off.

Wait a minute, do you
remember what you did to me

when I was drunk and vulnerable?

- Wait, hey, hey, hey,
hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't even start that, man.

I never even touched you.

- I know, but you
didn't even try!

Why not, am I not good enough
to be one of your groupies?

Do you
know what it's like

to feel unloved and unwanted?

- Okay, get out of here
you fuckin' psycho!

You bitch!

- No need for name calling.

Hmm, and what to do with you?

Fore!

Not a good shot.

Let's try the other one.

Yes!

Hole in one for
Mildred, whew!

Wakey, wakey, Tommy.

- Who are you?

- Mildred Moyer, remember me?

- Mildred, what are
you doing in my house?

- What, I can't
check in on my exes?

- No.

- I do admit it is a bit
stalkerish, but now that I'm here,

I'm kind of embarrassed
to say this,

but it's great seeing you.

- Okay, Mildred, you're
starting to freak me out.

You have to leave.

- You cheated on me, Tommy.

- What, that was
in the 10th grade?

- Do you know how
much that hurt?

- Well, we dated
for like a week,

and I kissed Kelsey
Summers like once.

I was gonna kiss you,
but I was like worried

that your big nose was
gonna poke me in the eye.

So you got that fixed?

- Oh yes, Tommy,
I've been fixed.

- Okay, I'm calling the cops.

- Hey, a ukulele?

Check out this song I like.

♪ Casually suicidal ♪

♪ It's one big cycle
you can't ignore ♪

You've heard it before.

Hi Kelsey, it's Mildred
Moyer from high school.

Do you remember in grade 10
when you kissed Tommy Sherlock?

Did you know him and I
were dating at the time?

Okay, as long as
you didn't know.

Yeah, I actually saw him
for the first time tonight

since graduation.

He's doing all right.

Hi, Mrs. Sokel.

Who are you?

- I'm a former student.

Ah, ah, ah, I wouldn't
do that if I were you.

The last person who
tried that paid dearly.

- Oh, okay, let's
just calm down here.

Obviously you need help,
and I'm here to listen.

- Oh, I'm far beyond psychiatry.

- Who are you?

- I'll give you a hint.

You used to keep a box
of tissues on my desk

so anyone who needed
to blow their nose

during class had to come see me.

You said it was in honor of
my abnormally large nose.

You made me play Pinocchio
in the school play.

Even though the
play was Cinderella.

- Mildred Moyer?

- 'Tis I!

- Why are you wearing a mask?

Jesus Christ, what happened?

- I got a nose job.

- I hope you got a refund.

- Humor as a response
to terror, classic.

What
are you doing?

- I'm here for revenge.

I was on a roll, so
I figure why stop?

Aw.

Here, let me take a look.

Oh, oh!

I'm sure you'll be fine.

I'm not going to kill you.

Some fates are worse than death.

- No, no!

- By the way, I read
your book and it sucked!

- All right, now
I want sexy poses.

Sexy poses.

There you are,
there you are, yeah.

Perfect, perfect, there.

Mm-hm, perfect, mm-hm.

Oh, perfect, yes.

Twirl, twirl for me.

Twirl, mm-hmm, perfect.

Yes!

Mm, all right, so
now you're a tiger.

You're a tiger, yes, you are.

Be on that Serengeti plain,
just lusting, perfect.

Now, you're running,
you're running.

You're being chased by a bear.

You're being chased by a bear,
run faster, run harder, run!

Run, yes!

Oh, all right.

Now, you're a
construction worker,

and you're working a jackhammer
and it's so difficult

and so heavy and
so hard to work it.

We're going into
convulsions, mm-hm.

Spasm it up, come on.

Harder, hard, more,
harder, more spasms.

All right, now you're
turning it out.

We're giving birth,
giving birth.

It's a demon baby and
you're frightened,

and you want to throw it
away, you throw it away.

You're doing perfect, yes.

I am spent.

We're done.

- Hi, Vespa.

- Holy shit!

Who the fuck are you?

- Mildred Moyer.

I see you found yourself
a new photographer.

- What?

- You hired me, remember?

When I was just starting out
my photography side hustle?

You never paid me.

- You, your pictures
were terrible.

- Really, because you
used one as your headshot

and got you that movie roll,

which you were terrible
in, by the way.

- Fuck you!

What do you want?

- My money.

- I don't have any cash.

- That's okay, I'll take
the payment in flesh.

Oh, don't worry.

Now, you can transition from
rom-com to horror movies.

Who now?

My blood thirst isn't satiated,

and I need someone
to kill while I wait

for my coworkers to
return from the retreat.

Think back, Mildred.

Who in your past deserves to
die for what they did to you?

- Two more victims...
- Has been described as...

- Hate carnage.
- Stabbed over 100 times.

Fire at
St. James High School.

- Woman wearing a mask.
- Police have cordoned off.

Bringing the death...

- Hey polka dot,
what's the hurry?

I can make you a lot
wetter than that!

- All right, I'll take
you up on your offer.

Turn around, pull
your pants down.

Let's go, let's do it.

- Whoa, what is that?

No, no, no, no,
I don't think so.

That's not...

That's not where I was
looking to go with this.

- Well, you seemed
interested a minute ago.

Don't be a tease!
- No, no, no, not in that.

That's, that's not where
we're trying to go here.

- You're playing hard
to get, I get it.

No, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Let's, I think I made a mistake.

I'm just gonna go
home here, okay?

- I really pegged you for
someone interested in this.

No,
no, you pegged wrong.

- Come back, I love you!

Ooh!

You know, cat calling's
rude and it never works.

I really just can't
think of anyone else

who deserves to face my wrath.

Now that I got this momentum,
I don't wanna give it up.

I'm just gonna have
to wait for those bitches

from work to return from
their team building retreat.

Wait a minute, Francois said I
need to take more initiative.

Why don't I go to them?

Hey, thanks for letting me vent.

- Yeah, I'm heading over
to Beaver Lake right now.

And I'll be back tomorrow.

Okay, I'll see you later, bye.

- Beaver Lake, you say.

- Don't think about it, just
write whatever comes to mind.

Write as many positive qualities
about yourself as you can.

Don't worry about
being embarrassed.

Just let your mind flow.

Let's keep it PG, everyone.

- Don't embarrass us.

I paid big money for this guy.

- Pfft, should have
paid me the big money.

I can motivate these
losers way better

than douchebag Coach Hicks.

- All right, guys,
trust is very important.

Trust each other,
trust each other.

- Oh, sorry, were
we starting already?

- I'll be damned, there
is a God after all.

- Daddy's gotta run
to the bathroom.

The beer's running
right through me.

- Well, hurry up.

I'll feel much safer
when we're in Saskatoon.

- Oh, hey, sweetie,
pass daddy a beer, huh?

All right.

- Hi, Dr. Wash, remember me?

- Mildred!

- I wasn't really
satisfied with your work.

I'd ask for a refund, but
I'll settle for this instead.

- I don't know what
I'm gonna think about.

I don't know how
I'm gonna get that.

I don't know, Mom.

He, he won't tell
me what's going on.

He just says that we
need to get to you

and get to you really soon
and it'll all blow over.

I just.

Oh fuck, I...

- You might wanna keep
this, as a memento.

- Just hold, hold on, Mom.

I just.

- Who are you?

- An avenging
angel, who are you?

- Lacey Wash.

- Keep kicking ass, Lacey.

- I always do.

- Ugh, where did the truck go?

That was my ride
to the campground.

Hey, I'm headed to Summer Grove
campground at Beaver Lake.

Can I catch a lift?

- Hop in.

- Thanks.

You're not gonna
ask about the mask?

- Oh, I know who you are.

You're all over the news,
but I'm on the run too.

Shot a cop.

But you know, if you don't rat
me out, I don't rat you up.

- Deal.

- Come on, everybody, come on!

Come on, everybody, come on!
- Come on, team!

- Get up, you fat fuck!

God, you're useless!

I mean,
way to go, everyone!

Great teamwork.

- You know, I'm tired of
your little outbursts,

and so is everybody else.

- I play to win, that's
why you hired me.

That's why I'm good at my job.

- We're here to have fun,

not cut each other's throats
in the name of competition.

- These corporate
retreats are so stupid.

As if these bunch of
morons are gonna come back

to work on Monday and be
productive all of a sudden.

- You're not the boss, I am.

And you will do as you're told.

Do we understand each other?

- Oh, absolutely, Francois.

- So, why'd you do it?

- Kill all those people?

- Yeah.

- Psychotic, cathartic release.

- That's fucked up.

You know, you can take
the mask off if you want.

- Might ruin your appetite.

- I don't judge.

- If you insist.

- You have really pretty eyes.

- Thank you.

- I think it's getting
infected though.

- I know, but it's not like I
can just walk into a hospital.

- No, I know a doctor you
could call, real discreet.

- Last time someone
recommended a doctor to me,

didn't turn out so well.

- This one's different,
she's a real angel.

I'll give you her number.

- Thanks for the ride,
good luck on the lam.

And thanks for the contact.

Give 'em hell, Mildred.

- Don't stop now!

Almost finished, we can do it!

Good job, people.

How does everyone feel?

Tired.

- Whoo, what a work out.

Got my heart pounding.

- Funny how your face is
sweaty, but your armpits aren't.

- It's because I'm not
disgusting like you, Marilyn.

You're such a cheater.

- You rat me out and
I'll tell Francois you've

been fucking his husband!

- Is that blackmail?

- Leverage.

- Good job, everyone.

We've got one hour to
chill out before we eat.

See y'all at five.

- Let's go get high.

- Can I come?

- Did you bring your own weed?

- No.
- Ah, too bad then.

- Well, I'll bring
some next time.

- Sorry, I couldn't
make it into work today.

I wasn't feeling so good.

- Mildred?

Why?

- Because you're a
terrible boss, Francois.

But don't worry, the company
can easily replace you.

I think there's going to be
a lot of staffing changes

at Blooming Wells in
the next coming days.

- Oh, my knee!

- Let's see you try
to run away now.

Wow, initiative!

I'm impressed.

You know a part of me is
actually cheering for you.

Go Francois, whoo!

Okay, that's far enough.

It's chopping time!

- No!

- Do you know how to work this?

Oh.

There we go!

- No!

No, no!

No!

No!

- Oh my God.

- Mildred.

Why are you wearing the mask?

- To hide my
disgustingly huge nose!

- Oh yeah, right.

Whose arm is that?

- Seriously, that's
your question?

It's Francois's!

Oh, are you insane?

- Obviously!

- No, no, no, no!

- Ow!

Stupid sliver!

- Yeah, so the date
really wasn't that good.

- No?

How big was his dick?

- It was somewhere
between Rick and Tim.

- Ah, so not that big then?

- What are you doing?

You'll start a forest fire.

- Oh, I'm sorry,
Mrs. Park Ranger.

Please don't give me a ticket.

- Damn it!

I was hoping to get
more kills out of that.

Took me like an hour to sharpen.

- What the fuck?

- Oh, sorry.

It's me, Mildred Moyer.

- Ugh, what happened
to your nose?

- Seriously, I just
killed your friend,

and you're still
concerned about my nose?

God, you guys really
are heartless.

- Why'd you kill Lola?

- Don't worry.

I'm gonna kill you guys too.

Hmm, guess it only
works in the movies.

Guess I'm gonna have to take
some physical action here.

Okay.

On your mark.

Get set.

Go!

- No, stop, no, stop!

Sorry, Marilyn!

You're not seriously surprised
she did that, are you?

But don't worry, I'll
get her back for you now.

Hey, an ax!

Oh, what are the chances
there'd be an ax right here?

Oh!

Whoo, sharp, but still
has the blunt force impact

that is so satisfying.

Hmm, good leverage
too, easy to swing.

Probably painful as fuck.

Hey!

- Please don't kill me.

- I won't kill you,
if you eat your foot.

- Ugh, I can't, it's too chewy!

- Mm, too bad.

We have
to do something.

- You guys think it would be
too convenient if Blanche died

in an accidental
hunting accident?

- We have to stand up to her.

We can't let her
treat us like this.

- We should threaten to quit.

- Let's sue the company.

Some of the shit she does
has gotta be illegal.

- That's not enough.

- Francois!

Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God!

Mildred Moyer's here!

She's fucking snapped
and killed Lola!

- Is this part of team building?

- No, you dumb shit, I'm
dead fucking serious!

Go look and see if
she's out there!

- Don't touch me.

- Go look or you're
out of a job.

Oh my God, she's
here, do something!

- Hey guys, this
is kind of awkward,

but I'm really only here
to kill Blanche.

I mean, I'm sure
you guys understand.

The rest of you were
actually really nice to me,

so I have no problem with you.

But I would recommend that
you leave because I don't

wanna traumatize you with
what's about to happen.

- You see, she's fucking crazy!

You, go restrain her.

- Fuck you, Blanche!

We've worked
together for a year,

you don't even know my name.

- Yes, I do!

- What is it?

- Mike.

- Not even close.

- Shit, whatever!

Someone go hold her, we
can hold her for the cops!

Oh, come on, you
fucking cowards!

Oh, if we live through
this, you're all so fired!

Hi, Tim.

- Hi, Mildred.

You doing okay?

- Yeah, I'm okay.

Oh, by the way, I finished
off your TPS report

and submitted it for you.

- Thanks, Mildred.

- Come on, guys.

Teamwork, this is
why we're here.

This is a test, us
against Mildred.

- Well, let's be a team, guys.

Let's get the hell outta here.

- You can't just
let her kill me.

I'm a part of the team too.

I'll give you all raises.

I'll bump you up a buck an hour.

A buck 75?

- Fuck you, Blanche!

- Bye, guys.

Hope you had fun and learned
lots about team building.

- You didn't think
I was gonna go down

without a fight, did ya?

I should have known you
were a psycho bitch.

Nobody that ugly
could be normal.

- Hey, I'm beautiful
on the inside.

- Are you really?

- No, not really.

Shit that hurts!

- Come on, when was the last
time you actually used yours?

Not, the nose!

That was supposed
to look cooler.

- I've dreamed of doing
this since your huge nosed

ugly ass face started
at the company!

No!

Look, Mildred, I realize
now that I shouldn't

have treated you the way I did.

I shouldn't have
been such a bitch.

Maybe it was the
way I was raised.

My dad left when I
was really young,

and my mom was an alcoholic.

It was never personal with you.

We all can't be born
with good looks.

I was just born lucky.

I won the genetic lottery,
I don't know.

It doesn't mean that
you're a bad person.

Look, look, I know you're having

some really tough
times right now,

but I also know that you
can be compassionate.

So what do you say, do
you think you can find it

in your heart to
forego your revenge?

I think we can get past this!

Maybe we can be friends, I
need some new ones anyway.

- I'm not killing you
for revenge, Blanche.

I'm killing you for fun.

94, 95, 90, oh, sweet!

Beat my grade six record.

Hello, this is Mildred.

We have a mutual
friend, Danger Dan.

He told me you could help
me out with a new nose.

Yeah, I can be
there in two hours.

Did he tell you how bad it was?

Yeah, I hope so too.

Okay, I'll see you soon, thanks.

- And remember, don't
not just go for it.

- I won't!

- Come in, let's take a look.

Mildred, you look fine, here!

- No, no, no, no,
no, I can't do it.

Here.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God, thank you so much.

- Oh, you're most
welcome, Mildred.

That's just my son.

He's a great boy, trustworthy.

You should meet him.

- Felix!

- Mildred?

What are you doing here?

- Your mother fixed my face.

- Oh, I'm so sorry,
where are my manners?

This is my sister, Mary.

- Oh, sister.

Yes, of course.

Nice to meet you.

Well, do you like my face?

I'm beautiful now.

- Mildred, you were
always beautiful.

♪ Dangle your feet off
the edge of a bridge ♪

♪ Wonder what it would be
like if you just let go ♪

♪ Wiggle your toes, swing
your legs back and forth ♪

♪ Take a dance, take a chance
while you're on the edge ♪

♪ 'Cause you won't ever go ♪

♪ You might be casually
suicidal though ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And people may offer advice ♪

♪ They think they're
being so damn nice ♪

♪ Saying it's not worth the
price and they're right ♪

♪ But the fight doesn't
end right then and there ♪

♪ You're still
casually suicidal ♪

♪ It's one big cycle
you can't ignore ♪

♪ You're still
casually suicidal ♪

♪ You've always been
and will be ever more ♪

♪ And are they
really surprised ♪

♪ I think we've all been
there a couple of times ♪

♪ We all know, we all know ♪

♪ We all can go, we all
can go casually suicidal ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Take a nap in the
middle of the street ♪

♪ Count your sheep as you fall
asleep on the cool concrete ♪

♪ Kick off your socks, have
your on the till foxtrot ♪

♪ Step in time on
the center line ♪

♪ Feel the night fly by ♪

♪ 'Cause you won't
ever go, no, no ♪

♪ You might be casually
suicidal though ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And people may freak out ♪

♪ They don't know what ♪