Gray Is the New Blonde (2018) - full transcript
GRAY IS THE NEW BLONDE is an inspiring documentary whose time has come. En masse, women all across the world of all ages, ethnicities, and socio-economic backgrounds are choosing, on ...
("Claire de Lune" acapella-female)
(chimes)
(sexy, bluesy music)
- "Gray Is The New Blonde"
is a documentary whose time has come.
Women all across the world
of all ages and ethnicities
are choosing on purpose
to ditch the hair dye
and embrace their gorgeous grays.
This is truly a movement.
Never before in history have we seen
so many women choose on purpose
to embrace their gorgeous grays.
I am over the moon with excitement
to bring this film to you,
and I hope you enjoy it.
Growing up in the '70s, the only people
that I ever recall seeing with gray hair
were people who were really old.
I'm talking 80s and 90s.
I never, ever saw women in their 30s
or 40s or 50s with gray hair.
And what's interesting
is that research shows
that most people start to
see a sprinkling of gray
when they're in their late
teens to early to mid-20s.
And what you are about to see is that
the majority of women that I interviewed
in fact also saw their
first grays very young.
(bubbly music)
- By the time I was maybe, like 16,
I had a whole streak
coming down the side of my hair.
One long streak of gray.
- I actually didn't
see my first gray hair.
My girlfriend saw my first gray hair
when we were standing at the bus stop
when I was 15.
We were going downtown to go shopping,
and she reached over and she said,
"Hey, you've got a gray hair."
And then she plucked it from my head.
- I saw it when I was in high school.
I must have been a junior or senior
and I saw one gray hair,
it was pretty long.
I plucked it and since then,
I've been on this journey
of coloring my hair.
- Well, I had a few rogue
gray hairs growing in my 20s.
- We did our research and 18, 19
were the ones that really came up the most
that started to go silver
at that younger of an age.
- I started going gray at 17.
My mother will swear that she plucked
the first white hair
from my head at age four.
- [Reporter] 35-year-old Andrea Fishkin
started to see silver strands peek through
when she was just 12 years old.
- I felt that maybe there
was something wrong with me,
like why am I graying so early in my life?
- [Reporter] Hair goes gray
when color producing cells
stop producing pigment.
Scientists don't know exactly
why some people go gray early,
but genes play a large role.
- The very first time I
knew that I had a gray hair
was when I was 27 years old.
I was standing in the gym,
I guess I was by the
front register desk area,
and someone that I knew from the gym,
I knew this person and I
seem to recall it was a male,
very casually, not a bestie at all,
walks up to me and says,
"Oh, you have a gray hair,"
and proceeds to yank it out of my head.
- I was 26 when I saw my first gray hair.
- When I saw my first gray hair,
I believe I was 20 years
old, sophomore in college,
and I just thought, "Oh my
gosh, I'm getting old." (laughs)
That's basically what I thought.
- This is such a double standard
because I started getting
grays when I was 18
and everyone says it looks
distinguished, it's great.
I love it, I have no
problem with the grays,
but it's obviously such a
different experience for women.
- With a man, it can give
him a sense of authority.
With a woman, however, it can look like
she doesn't care about herself.
- When Anderson Cooper has gray hair,
they call him the silver fox.
A woman who has gray hair is like,
"Nana, can I help you with your bags?"
(audience laughing)
- Yes, exactly.
It's a double standard.
- 'Cause it's such a double standard.
For guys with gray hair
they're distinguished,
but women I think feel such pressure
not to allow themselves to have gray hair
and I think it looks great.
- Yeah, well I thank
you for pioneering it.
- Well, yes, I, it's right, yeah.
- This double standard
has been in existence
for thousands and thousands of years.
It's rooted in the original role
that men and women played in life.
Looks were important.
Women were to attract
a mate, they procreate.
And then they died before
they even saw gray hair
not that long ago, 100 years ago.
Men on the other hand were
about protecting their clan,
being powerful and strong.
Gray hair actually enhanced that role.
They were seen as more senior leaders.
- There's a patriarchal
world that we live in
where our value is measured by men
and it has to with procreation,
fertility, submission.
- [Karen] All men have gray hair. (laughs)
- [Victoria] Yes.
- So it's just like
why is it okay for them
and not me, so that's kinda
-my attitude, I think,
just projecting that to people.
- But I do think that
there's a double standard
when it comes to men,
and men are distinguished
and women just are old.
But we're here, of course,
to break that stereotype.
(transitional chimes)
- Indeed we are, Sandra, indeed we are.
And the days of this double
standard are clearly numbered.
This outdated view that women
are no longer attractive
and somehow less desirable has
begun to fade, pun intended.
And my thought has been how
did we get here as a society?
What has happened in our past
to bring us to this point
to where we revere men,
they're distinguished,
they're worldly, they're sophisticated,
but for women, oh my goodness,
it's quite different.
And how did we as a society get here?
Well, the research is fascinating
and it begins to shed some
light on how we did get here.
- [Narrator] In 1891, an ad
for Imperial Hair Regenerator
stated, quote, "No lady who thoroughly
"appreciates good
appearance would ever dream
"of appearing in society
with streaky or gray hair.
"They are both unbecoming
"and when a perfect
preparation can be obtained
"for overcoming these difficulties,
"there is no reasonable
justification for the continuance."
The message in all such ads was clear:
no woman should have gray hair,
and these products provided a way to stem
that most visible sign of aging.
Nevertheless, even with
intensive advertising
only about 7% of American women
dyed their hair by mid-century.
The modern hair coloring revolution
came through clever, image
changing advertising.
(inspirational, powerful piano music)
- [Woman] Coloring my hair is such a job.
Sectioning, dipping,
repeated color checks.
- [Woman] Dull, streaked with gray.
Even with this perfect makeup,
she looks faded, unattractive.
- [Man] If your hair is dull
or faded or streaked with gray,
try Miss Clairol Hair Color.
- With Miss Clairol, the
color looks so natural.
Only your hairdresser knows for sure.
- [Man] Easy to do, apply like shampoo.
- [Woman] In minutes,
she looks years younger.
- My gray hair makes me feel so old,
you know what I'm gonna do?
♪ I'm gonna wash that
gray right out of my hair ♪
♪ I'm gonna wash that
gray right out of my hair ♪
- [Man] Loving Care
Color Lotion from Clairol
washes away your gray and washes
in your own natural color.
♪ So I washed that gray
right out of my hair ♪
♪ Oh yes, I washed that
gray right out of my hair ♪
- [Man] Wash that gray
right out of your hair
with Clairol Loving Care.
- So many Americans color their hair.
It's over 75%.
So that now becomes the reality.
And so being natural
seems to be the oddity
as opposed to, like, my hair's blonde.
Well, maybe it was but it isn't anymore.
- [Reporter] Debbie Lyman is
at the salon every two weeks
covering her gray, unlike her twin Naomi.
- I'm jealous, I admit it.
- I just feel liberated and
I get so many compliments
that I feel like it's my best feature.
- There's so many unhappy people out there
dying their hair every three weeks
and they're not even thinking
that there's another way.
- What was the turning point that you said
I just am not gonna dye my hair anymore?
I was thinking the turning point
was going to be when you
learned about the tumor.
So I thought, okay, then that had, but no.
- Yeah, I had not even thought about it
'cause it was such a thing
that everybody dyed their hair.
My mom had pretty gray hair young
and she always dyed her hair,
so I didn't even think
about don't dye your hair,
it was just like oh,
whatever, this is normal.
I'm just gonna keep dying my hair.
- I was just willing to go get it colored
'cause that's all that I knew back then.
- I just feel like these
women are stuck doing,
you know, how they have
to color their hair
every three weeks, two weeks,
one week, it's too much.
- And then it comes back to money.
So you're talking about
trying to knock out a system
that's been working really well
for the people that are
in power, and that's,
you know, what do you want, a revolution?
- A lot of women feel
insecure all the time
because of how the media makes us feel.
- And when we look at the economics,
nobody makes money if they tell us
we look good the way we are.
Money is made by making us feel bad.
- Advertisers will
never voluntarily change
because it is profitable for them
when we feel terrible about ourselves.
Basically we're told that women
are acceptable only if
we're young, thin, white,
or at least light skinned,
perfectly groomed and
polished, plucked and shaved.
And any deviation from this ideal
is met with a lot of
contempt and hostility.
Women who are considered ugly
are ridiculed in advertising campaigns.
So these ads are meant to be funny,
but the message to girls
and women is clear.
If you're not conventionally beautiful,
you're an object of ridicule and contempt.
Your worth depends on how you look.
You're going to be graded on a curve.
This contempt for women
who do not measure up
is waiting for all of us, of
course, eventually as we age.
So no wonder there's such terror
of showing any signs of aging.
(somber music)
- I was horrified.
I thought oh, if I grow it
out, I'm gonna be so old,
I'm gonna look old,
it's gonna be horrible.
- And I tried to dye my
hair and keep up with it
to make sure that no one
knew I had any gray hair
and how horrible it would be
if anybody found out that I had gray hair.
So I started dyeing it and
of course as time went on,
the grayer I got, the more
I would need to dye it.
- And I was embarrassed and I was ashamed
that all of the sudden, I had gray hair.
That's when I started dying my hair
because I didn't want my friends
to know about my gray
hair and I actually lied.
One of my friends asked
me, "Oh my gosh Terry,
"your hair is so nice
and black and so shiny.
"Did you dye it?"
And I flat-out told her no,
and I never felt good about
not being honest with her,
but I really didn't want her to know
that I was having gray
hair at a young age.
- I was about 18 when I
started seeing gray hair.
At first I was totally mortified.
- By the time I was 19, I had
a white Elvira streak... in my
right out of the top.
My mother and my aunt,
they took me to the store
where they used to sell For
Brunettes Only hair color
and helped me pick out the proper shade
so that I could color my hair.
- [Reporter] No group in Hollywood
feels the effects of ageism like women,
and many celebrities
have been vocal about it.
Helen Mirren has critiqued the industry
for age discrimination,
saying Hollywood is all
about youth and beauty.
- There is a lot of
ageism and I do, I do feel
that the gray hair has hurt me.
But it has not changed my resolve.
I think that it's
important to have somebody
on television, in movies, in
commercials, in magazines.
I think it is important that we have
silver-haired and gray-haired women
represented in all of those places.
- Oh yeah, I have a friend
who is a hardworking actress.
She's very successful,
she's won two Emmys,
and when I told her, I said,
"Next time you see me,
you may not recognize me
"because I've started going gray,"
and she has said, "I can't do that."
She said, "That would be great,
"but I can't do that because of my job."
- If I had gray hair, I
would not have this job.
I'm just saying that right now.
(audience applauding)
- Really? Yep.
- I came to LA three and a half years ago
to get into commercials.
So I'm told, "Well, if
you color your hair,
"you might have a better chance."
I won't.
"If you cut your hair,
because women your age
"really shouldn't have long hair.
"It doesn't look right."
And I refused to cut my hair.
I've always had long
hair and it's gonna stay.
- When I first was talking
to Chuck about it, I said,
He said, "Do you have any idea
of how you wanna play her?"
And I said, "Well, I
think she should be gray."
And he was like, "Really?"
He said, "I kinda thought she should have
"the same color hair
that her daughter has."
I said,
"You know, if I'm gonna play
an old woman, I really..."
Also, because everybody's
having their Me Too plus moment,
I think we all need to kind of
grab ahold of our authenticity.
And it's like, what's
wrong with being gray?
Just because most actors,
actresses, don't go,
"You know, I can't wait to be gray."
I myself had recently
just stopped dying my hair
because it was like who am I kidding?
It's stupid and I was just over it.
So I wanted her to be totally
authentic in that way.
- Being that I worked
in the makeup industry,
I was very on-cue to have
hair that wasn't gray.
- I was a singer for a while,
but then when I went to
Nashville the A&R guy says,
"When are you gonna cover up that gray?"
I really didn't like that,
I didn't think it was fair.
I thought what does this
have to do with singing?
- The whole point I started my blog
was really not about fashion,
it was about shifting the paradigm
of women feeling invisible in our society,
which really does happen.
And I know I went to look
for a job when I was 58
and I experienced so much ageism,
and I talk to women all the time
and women say it starts at 40.
Not only is it sad, but
it's such a disservice
'cause people now are living to be 90, 96,
and so does that mean when you hit 40
you've got 50 more years
where you can't dress nicely
or sexy or whatever your style is?
That's crazy, and so that
was why I started my blog.
It was not just about fashion,
it was about women who
are experiencing that
in the workplace, just
in society in general,
because I think a lot of younger
women dread getting older
because they feel they're
gonna fall off this cliff
at the age of 50 or whatever
age it is that they're dreading.
And so it's not about dreading your age,
it's about embracing every
year that you're alive
because a lot of us don't get to be old.
Transition chimes
- Ageism, it is just another
summit for us to climb
as we attempt to live
our lives authentically.
More money, more time just to keep up
with what has been deemed by society
as acceptable and appropriate,
and with that how long is
too long to dye your hair?
10 years, 20 years, 30 years, how long?
- It was decades, decades of doing it,
and I stopped, I was 56.
I first wanted to do it 2013.
I held off letting it go
because my dad had Alzheimer's,
and dementia, and he knew
me with my dark hair down,
if I wore my hair down.
And if I wore my hair up,
even when it was still dark,
and then I took it down he'd say,
"Hey, when did you get here?"
So I felt like he still
knows me, he knows who I am.
Once he didn't know me,
he didn't know I was his daughter anymore,
it's a tough disease, and
he didn't recognize me,
and I thought okay, now I can do this.
- I used to color my hair
every two weeks to three weeks
for years, I did it for years.
And then it just got worse and then worse,
and then every time I would color my hair,
the next day or two I could see
just a little bit
peeking out from my scalp
and it was very frustrating.
- I was once again thinking about
I had dyed my hair on December 24th
and it was like January
7th or something like that,
and I was starting to
plan my next hair dye
and I just was like, "God,
this is a pain in the ass."
"I've been doing this
since I was 28 years old
and I'm 51, and why am I
putting myself through this?"
"Maybe now's the time for me
to see what's under there."
It just literally was like
a bolt of lightning striking me,
going, "I think I might be
done, I think I wanna try this."
- So what was different this time
from the first time you tried it
that you have stayed the path?
That even with the family functions
and the family pressures,
you have said no, I'm
gonna stick with this?
- I think I'm just done, I was tired,
I was tried of the almost weekly
hair dye appointment with
myself that I had to do,
it was something that I had to plan,
it was an expense, and it
was just more of a hassle
than I guess the personal benefit
I felt from getting it done.
It wasn't doing it for me
anymore and I just had enough.
- I don't have the patience to sit
at a hairdresser every two weeks.
- Because that's
what's required, yeah.
- To get the roots done, yes.
- I dyed it at least 20 years.
It was just that I'm tired.
I'm tired of coloring
it, I'm letting it go.
- I really started to have a lot
when I was in my early 40s,
and that's when I started to color it.
- I think that it was
in the 40s, in my 40s,
that I started dying my hair too.
I didn't have as much gray hairs,
but I started noticing it
and of course my hairdresser
noticed it and said,
"Oh, maybe you should consider
starting to dye your hair."
- It got to be where my gray was so white
that I was having to go
in every three weeks.
So by this time, I'm letting her color it
and highlight it so it'll look natural
and paying a lot of money.
- I was more of a rebel.
I would hold out until I
had two inches outgrowth.
I just didn't like sitting in the chair.
As I continued on, the gray,
I have extremely coarse, curly hair,
the gray just wouldn't pick up the color.
I never blamed my hairdresser for it.
My hair is just hard to color
and I'd come home and I'd still see
a couple of glints in the mirror
and be like, "It's not
even dyeing anymore."
- I just didn't like going
to salons very often.
Because of that I said,
"This is it, I'm not
gonna do this anymore,"
so I stopped.
- I'm tired of doing this, it's goopy,
it's nasty, it's messy. (laughs)
- I was just tired of seeing my roots
and seeing at least four different colors,
and I was just tired of
getting a massive headache,
being nauseous when I would dye my hair.
And I just said that's it.
- I started to dye it when I was age 40.
Well, at 42 I started coloring it.
I just kept coloring it every eight weeks,
then every six weeks, then
it was every four weeks,
and it got to the point when I turned 55,
I said, "You know what, I
just can't do this anymore,
"I'm just tired of it."
It's every four weeks.
You live around the
bottle or the hair dye.
You can't go to a wedding,
you can't go swimming,
you can't do anything.
You can't even go to the gym
because your roots are gonna show.
I'm like who cares?
Hair color shouldn't define a woman.
- [Reporter] Melissa Malbranche
isn't bashful about her hair.
Silver streaks started at 17,
and two years ago at 43, she
decided to go au naturale.
- It became more of a chore,
something that I sort of
dreading having to do,
and I said enough.
(transition chimes)
- So aside from the time, the money,
the monotony of having
to get your roots done
every two to three to
four weeks depending,
there is a hidden danger
that some of you are very well aware of
and in fact had to stop dyeing
your hair because of this.
- Recently, someone wrote in
saying they were concerned
about toxic chemicals in
hair dyes and specifically
a chemical called
paraphenylenediamine, or PPD.
PPD is used in permanent hair dyes
and other dark colored cosmetics.
It is a colorless chemical
that becomes pigmented
when mixed with an oxidizing agent,
usually hydrogen peroxide.
Now the Environmental Working Group
classifies PPD as an above
moderate health hazard
mostly for the allergic
reactions it can induce.
Occasionally PPD causes hives
and much more rarely serious anaphylaxis.
- [Reporter] Whether
you like your hair down
or all done up,
(women laughing)
most of us hope to leave
the salon feeling pretty.
- I just wanted a cute
little stylish haircut.
- [Reporter] That was the
plan for Patrice Washington,
who wanted to look nice for
her daughter's birthday.
- I wanted to do the jet black
'cause my hair is naturally
kind of a light brown.
So I just wanted to get the same
haircut I've been getting for years.
- [Reporter] On the left,
the look she was going for.
On the right, the one she got.
- And I look like a monster, this is...
I can't recognize my
face, it just looks...
Kids are looking at me crazy.
I just looked, this is ridiculous,
my face is swollen, my
scalp is all blistered,
my hair is falling out.
I just feel like the
Elephant Man or something.
- [Reporter] Doctors say she
had a severe allergic reaction
to a common chemical found in hair dye.
- PPD.
- Paraphenylenediamine is a coloring agent
that we can trace back
to the Industrial Age
when we were using that to
color clothing and even furs.
- [Reporter] In the last 15 years,
Dr. Michael Gross says he has seen
between 50 and 60 people
with the allergy to PPD.
- I had all kind of chemicals in my hair.
I'm not sure why this dye, this time.
- A person may have had
exposure to it once,
had no problem, went
back and had it again,
and had a rip-roaring reaction.
- [Reporter] The effects
range from an itch
to trouble breathing and possibly death.
Like many of us, Patrice
didn't worry about that
when she sat down in the chair,
didn't ask to see the fine print.
- I had two very severe
reactions to hair dye,
and it ended up that I
ended up in the ER twice.
Some women are sensitive...
- Yeah, a lot of women are.
- To hair dye,
but they don't know, so
then they all of a sudden
have like an autoimmune disease.
- Yeah.
- Like rheumatoid or lupus
and could it be traced back
to the fact that they've been
dying their hair and
they're chemical sensitive?
I think it's completely possible
because there's a lot
of autoimmune diseases
that have suddenly arrived in the world,
but now all of a sudden they are.
So is it our chemicals, is it
chemicals we put on our body,
is it chemicals that we're eating?
As a physician, those are all things
that come to my mind.
- The thought of putting
hair dye on my hair
knowing that it would
absorb through my scalp,
that was not something
I was interested in.
I wanted to stay away
from chemicals, basically.
- We were a little concerned
because we both had such dark hair,
and hearing that dark hair colors
were kinda carcinogenic
or dangerous for us,
we were kinda worried about them
sitting on our heads for
such long periods of time.
- Yeah.
- Someone I know personally actually got
like a cyst in their scalp
from dying their hair all the time.
So it can be very dangerous
because your skull is right there,
so you could get a bone infection,
you could get chronic infections
that make your hair fall out.
- I started having damage to my scalp
and peeling and burning and
losing hair in certain areas.
And I decided that I was done with it.
- PPD is one of around 5,000 chemicals
found in hair dye products today,
and some of these chemicals
are reported to be carcinogenic
according to the National
Cancer Institute.
So there are definitely other
chemicals to watch out for.
- [Reporter] There are a few ways
women can embrace their
naturally changing shade.
You can quit dying your hair cold turkey,
start adding highlights or lowlights
for a smoother tone transition,
begin growing out your
color from underneath.
- If a client comes to me and they're just
starting to think about it,
I'm gonna maybe either start putting
some lowlights or some highlights
to start diffusing the line
and start to let the gray grow.
I'll just do that on the
outer part of the hair
while I let the inside grow.
So that's one way of doing it.
- So I was actually thinking about
going gray or going natural.
I currently color my hair at home
with a all-natural dye from Whole Foods,
and at this point I'm just not sure
if that's the best look for me.
- Well Philomena, it is time to commit.
Eva Scrivo and her team
are working hard to help.
- I now have Philomena in my chair
and she wants to grow out
her natural gray hair.
We're going to add some
cool-toned highlights
throughout the hair.
Her natural emerging
gray, we want to integrate
into the rest of her hair,
and also teach Philomena
how to care for her hair.
When the hair starts to lose pigment,
it can be very coarse.
So home care, a beautiful haircut,
and a new makeup palette
will really do wonders.
(audience applauding)
- We have Philomena.
She was considering embracing her gray
but she's a little bit
trepidatious about it.
This is how she looked before.
All right,
well Philomena come on down.
- So let's bring her out.
(upbeat music)
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
- Oh, you look so nice, I love it.
Here, stand there so we can
see you before and after.
That looks so, well
you're a beautiful woman.
- Oh, thank you.
(Katie laughs)
- She is.
- That looks so nice.
- Thank you.
- And how do you feel
about this kind of transitional look?
- [Philomena] Liberated.
- You do?
- Yeah, yeah, it feels good.
It feels like I don't have to fuss
or worry about how it looks all the time.
- And so is her natural
gray gonna grow in now?
- Yes, and we put
just a few...
- So does she have to
do this a lot more?
- No, it's not about doing nothing,
it's about doing something different
when you have gray hair.
So every few months, we'll add
a few more gray highlights,
start the integration process
so that she doesn't have to
do her roots every four weeks,
we kept her hair long 'cause
that's more who she is,
and it has lots of layers and shape.
But I must warn you, if
you're going to go gray,
make sure you take
really good care of your hair
and you learn how to do a blowout,
because the smoother, the better.
- 'Cause her hair is much coarser.
- So we talked about maybe highlighting it
or trying to grow it out gradually.
She said, "You're just
gonna have to cut it off."
And I thought fine, I'll cut it off.
I've never had short hair before.
And it took four months to grow out
and my agent said, "We love
your hair, keep it short."
And that's how I arrived at silver hair.
- Listen, I wanted to go cold turkey,
which I did go cold turkey for
the first part of the book.
And then halfway through, I wanted to then
understand what it's like to...
The underneath stayed really rusty,
so I decided to bleach that out
and then tone it to match the top.
- I just started getting curious.
I wonder what my hair looks like.
I wonder what my real hair looks like
and what would it be like if I didn't
have to have that anxiety,
oh god, my roots are showing,
or it's orange, I have to dye my hair.
What would it be like if
I just let my hair grow?
- I just let the gray come in and then
kept cutting it down
'til the gray took over.
- So I just let it go.
So it grew in and then I had
part gray and then part dark,
and then I just cut it really short.
- [Victoria] Oh, you did the pixie.
- I just did the pixie,
let it go, cut it short,
and let it grow in a little bit.
And I've never looked back.
- I got tired of fooling with that too,
so I just did a buzz
cut and let it grow out.
- [Anderson] (laughs) Did you really?
- Yeah, yeah, I mean I have to
have my hair long for the show,
but I'd like for it to be short.
- [Anderson] You actually did a buzz cut?
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Actually, at that time when I was
letting this stuff come in,
my hair was already a short pixie cut.
It only took me about two
months for my transition
because once the short little
1.5 inch hair then grew out
and I had a little bit,
we just cut it off.
So I had this very, very tight,
short, maybe inch of gray.
- So the grow-out process was awful.
At first I thought it was kind of fun
because I started wearing
so many different hats
and so many different styles,
but then the gray started
growing longer than the hats,
so I switched to a wig
because in my profession,
I just couldn't really have a skunk stripe
going down my head.
So I switched to a wig and
I really had fun with that
because I'd never been a redhead,
I'd always been a brunette,
and the wig was sort of
reddish and I really liked it.
But then everybody let me know
that it just did not look good,
and so by the end I was really,
'cause it took me two years.
And I'm sick of it,
I'm totally done with it.
As of today, I'm not doing that anymore.
(women cheering)
(women applauding)
- I'm done with that.
- I live!
- Don't be telling me
what beauty looks like
and don't be telling me
what pretty looks like.
And by the end of it,
I was really sick of it
and just happy to whip it
off my head and be done.
- Transition was a challenge at times,
'cause initially you feel like
people are looking at you,
what is she doing to her hair,
why isn't she coloring her roots,
and it takes a while for
it to look purposeful,
and I think that was probably
the biggest challenge for me.
(spirited music)
- I love your hair.
- Thank you, I love it too.
- So what happened
that you decided I'm gonna...
- I woke up one day,
I turned 75 on April
Fool's Day, as you know,
and I suddenly thought enough is enough.
I mean, there's something very funny,
I'm sure there's a million people
out there that think I'm crazy,
I felt some kind of change, I really did.
It was subtle but I think it's all about
building up to who are you.
My god, about time.
And I thought screw it,
I'm just gonna see what it looks like.
And it looked awful for a
while, but now I really love it.
(transition cymbals)
transition chimes
- As if the double standard,
the ageism, the chemicals
is not enough, a woman
has to contend with,
quite surprisingly, the negative feedback
that she gets from society,
and I'm talking about her close friends,
her family members, and worst
of all complete strangers.
- I recently got this comment on my blog.
"You look like you are
70 with your gray hairs.
"You really should
consider dyeing them for TV
"so you don't look like such an old hag."
"Just a suggestion."
I am 31 years old, and I've got
a fair amount of gray hair as you can see.
Now normally I just share recipes,
but today I wanted to take a minute
to talk about this comment
and address it publicly
because this is something
I feel strongly about.
My husband actually feels very strongly
that I shouldn't dye my hair,
and his reasoning is that he
wants us to grow old together.
How cute is that?
If you read my About Me page,
you'll find that I have
a rare autoimmune disease
that means that I will most likely
never live to be 70 years old.
Every sign of aging that I have
is a sign that I'm still alive.
A lot of people don't get the privilege
to ever live to be old, and
I probably won't either.
Which means that I don't have time
to waste criticizing myself,
and I don't have time to waste
criticizing other people.
I care a lot more about what
my life is like right now.
- Was this up-and-coming
salon stylist wonder woman
thought it upon herself
to come running after me
to tell me that she could salvage me
and save me from myself,
and how she could color my hair
and make me less haggard and
less old and less wrinkly,
and I could be beautiful.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
It went over really big.
For me, personally, I feel
if I was to dye my hair,
I would have a wrinkly
face with dyed hair.
Now how is that gonna
make me look younger?
I sat there and thought
you know what Audrey,
you're a beautiful person,
and if she'd known all the
things that I had survived,
then she wouldn't be
so heartless and cruel.
And I said to heck with the little twerp,
but it's sad that in today's society,
we have to be approached
and actually attacked in such a manner.
- I had a 10-year relationship
that was on again and off
again and mostly it was off,
but just prior to my going gray,
we had decided to really go for it
and make more of a relationship,
and he told me pretty
much every single day
that I needed to dye my hair, every day.
He was very, very negative
and cruelly so, I thought,
not kind about it.
I don't think a woman needs to hear
that she needs to change herself every day
in order to be worthy of love.
- I have this friend from college
that I've kept in contact with for years,
and over the years every few times,
"If you dyed your hair, you would look-
exactly the way you looked
when you were in college."
One day I told him, I said,
"I am not trying to look like
I looked in my college days,
"I'm trying to look great in the age
"and at the years it is at this time."
And I said, "I can't go
back, I don't wanna go back,
"and I'm just embracing
myself at this time
"with my gray hair, and I love it."
- From a previous
coworker, female, my age,
and she made the comment on Facebook,
and she just stated, "I
hate that gray hair."
- Yeah, someone I knew not really well
but she just didn't like it at all.
I forget her words but it was
something like, "Oh, oh no."
- A few years ago I divorced,
and a couple of years after
my divorce I began dating.
And one of the gentlemen that
I had gone out with two or three times,
he says, "Hey, you have a
good look about yourself,
"but I think you ought to color your hair.
"It makes you look old
the way you wear it,
"the color of it makes you look old."
- You get a lot of flack.
I cannot tell you how many people,
"Lauren, you're so
pretty, you look so great,
"you should just cover your gray
"'cause it'll make you look younger.
- I was humiliated at a hair salon.
The hairdresser parted my hair,
and so he called everyone over and said,
"Look at this hair."
He said that he thought it was 50%,
and it might have been gray and white,
he said, "Look at this,"
and I was 16, I was very...
You wanna not stand out in a negative way,
and at that time I didn't
have this understanding
that I do now about this freedom.
- I never dyed my hair.
Every single day I would
receive negative comments.
"You would be so much better,
"you'd be so much younger,
you'd be so much this,"
and I just became so rebellious about it
it was almost just no
way, no way would I do it.
- If you see a woman on the street
who is growing her hair out
and she has four inches of
gray on the top of her head
and then whatever color down below,
you should know that that woman
is really fucking strong
because it takes a
strong woman to do that.
That is a lot of pain.
Every time she looks in the mirror,
she's seeing half of one
thing, half of another.
She doesn't really feel like
she's got much of anything going on.
However many inches there
are, that's how many months
she's been going through that transition
and having people in her life
say negative things to her.
Boy, the grow out is tough
and I understand that a lot of women
cave during the grow out.
- I caved, yes, I caved.
My mother does not like it.
My son does not like it.
My brother does not like it.
So it was a lot of negativity
and just, I caved to pressure.
- I did have one lady in the book
who did go back and that was because
she was shamed by her regular hairdresser,
and he told her that she
looked like a battleship gray.
And other than that, she really liked it
but it was the terminology
used around the color she had.
And she said she immediately dyed it back.
- Many times, I changed my mind
because of the people that were around me
and were asking me to color my hair
because I look younger
and I'll feel better.
- I remember talking to a male friend
and he mentioned that gray hair
would make a person look dirty
I don't want people to
think that I'm dirty,
so I guess I'm gonna have to
dye my hair again. (laughs)
- I was in an interview for
an adjunct professor position.
The man opposite me said,
"Oh, you must be in your mid-30s."
And I said, "No, I'm 26."
And he said, looking sort of
horrified, "Oh, you're 26?
"But I can see your roots,
"so I assumed you were in your 30s."
Okay, this did not sit well with me,
so I immediately started dying my hair,
and I'd been dying my hair from 26 to 50.
- I was with my cousin and we were out
and someone asked me was I her mother.
And I caved that day.
- Gray hair in my culture
symbolizes old age.
Your youth is gone.
Who's going to marry you?
Especially in my culture,
you have to look young,
you have to look beautiful,
you have to have jet black hair
for your husband-to-be in the future.
- When I moved into Laguna Beach,
I met a friend and she told me that no one
would really wanna date
me if I had silver hair,
unless they were kind of a granola person
and that would be fine if
that's what I was okay with.
- It brings me back to my family,
who think I was gonna just look old
and no one was gonna wanna date
me because I had gray hair.
And I did worry about that.
I have gotten divorced,
not because of the gray,
but when I was with him and
prior to stopping the dye,
whenever it would grow in,
he would call me stripe
because I would have a stripe of gray.
So that always stuck with me like hmm.
But then becoming single and worrying
what guys were gonna
think about the gray hair,
you know you kinda question
it, you do gotta wonder,
but then again if someone
is not gonna accept me
for who I am and what color my hair is
regardless if it's gray or
brown or pink or purple,
then he's probably not
the one for me anyway.
(transition chimes)
- So many women think that if they
embrace their gorgeous grays,
if they allow their natural silver,
white, gray hair to come through,
that they are going to have
a difficult time dating.
And while that may sound reasonable,
the reality is, and this
is based on a comprehensive
social experiment which
you're about to see,
the reality is that it
is quite the opposite.
(audience clapping)
- Well, if you color your hair,
you know how costly it can be,
especially if you add it up over time.
It's like drinking five
cappuccinos a day, really.
Our guest Anne Kreamer did just that,
and can you guess the amount she spent?
A staggering $65,000.
It's enough to make your hair turn gray
even if it isn't gray.
And that's just what she did.
It's all in her new book, "Going Gray."
When you started doing
research for the book,
it was really more like
a social experiment.
- It was, I mean, I decided I did
a lot of different things.
I did surveys where I sort
of polled people nationwide,
I went out and I talked to women
in malls across the country.
And trust me, you can talk to them
about anything in their
lives once you say,
"Can we talk about your
hair for a few minutes?"
And then I interviewed
people across the world.
- [Martha] Hairdressers?
- Hairdressers across the country.
I went in to meet with
corporate recruiters,
image consultants...
- Did you go
both as dyed hair and as gray hair
on Match so you had some
sort of way to see...
- That's exactly what I did.
- You did, okay.
- I went on...
- [Martha] And where did
you get the most response?
- With my gray hair.
- You did?
- Counterintuitively.
I went on in New York,
Chicago, and Los Angeles,
and in each of those markets,
three times as many men were interested
in going out with me with my hair gray
as they were with my hair brown.
- [Martha] Really, three times?
- Yeah, three times, it was fabulous.
- Most men like it.
It shows them that you have a confidence,
that you wanna be who you are.
That's, I think, the
message that men pick up.
- Dating or just talking
to people in general,
I've just never had any problems.
I think I do better now
than I have years ago,
and I think that's a good thing.
- I didn't have any problems dating,
and I think the reason
is because I owned it,
I wore it proudly, and I was authentic,
and I never had a problem
dating, mm-mm girl, mm-mm.
Not one bit. (laughs)
I had plenty of boyfriends.
- Dated a lot of men and nothing
ever came of my hair color.
I think they liked it, I
think they really liked it.
And then I met my second husband
and he has a full head of white hair now.
- Actually, I have a lot of men stop me
and tell me how great my hair looks
or how much they like my hair.
(transition chimes)
- So many women become very aware
that once they have
silver, gray, or white hair
that the colors that they used to wear
on clothing, jewelry, their makeup,
actually has to change.
So I had the good fortune
of meeting Jill Kirsh.
She is a color consultant
and she has been featured everywhere.
She was named the Best Color Consultant
by L.A. Magazine's Best of L.A. issue.
She was featured in In Style Magazine,
The Los Angeles Times, countless
TV programs on NBC, ABC,
and I am thrilled that she agreed
to be a part of this documentary
so that you ladies will know now
what colors you should be wearing
with your new silver, gray, white hair.
- I put together a system
for fashion and for beauty
that's entirely based on
someone's present hair color
because what I've learned over the years
is that your hair frames your face.
It frames your eyes and your smile
and you really need to work it
to pull everything together.
Everyone can wear most every color.
It just depends on the
shade of that color.
And for the gray, for the salt and pepper,
for silver, it's very different
than for basically any other hair color.
You wanna see all your colors?
- I would love to see
all my colors, yes, yes.
- Do you wanna see all her colors?
- Okay.
- Let's see it.
- These are your colors.
So I'm gonna take you through this.
Every single shade in here is great
with salt and pepper
hair, silver hair, okay,
everything in here works really well.
Grays are fabulous, grays, black totally,
all of these, yellow, but a
really clear, true yellow,
orange, these are very
stark, clear colors.
The red is a true red,
it's not too orange-y, it's not too blue.
And pink...
- Now how am I gonna remember
all of these colors that I can wear?
- Oh, you don't remember,
you just remember.
- (laughs) I don't have
a photographic memory.
- Okay, so this is what I've
done to make it so simple.
I've put together this swatch book.
This is like the keys to the
kingdom, this is everything.
My clients don't go shopping without this.
- It's the perfect size.
- Look at this, it's like a wallet size,
it takes every single
shade of these colors
and you take it with you to go shopping
and you go up to the item in the store
and you go, "Okay, is this this color?"
See, she would never buy this
color every anymore, right?
'Cause it's not in her swatch book, okay?
So the other thing that's really
cool about the swatch book
is that not only are all
of these your colors,
but you can mix and
match and layer and this
and it's awesome and
it works all the time.
And this goes from...
- This is makeup that
goes with it as well?
- [Jill] It is.
- [Victoria] This is gonna tell me
what colors I can wear now?
- Yes, it's gonna give you every shade.
- I knew they had to be
different because, yeah,
okay, cool, I'm very excited.
- Very different, enough said,
enough said. (laughs)
Yeah, so here's something I
wanna share with everyone.
Okay, for your base, for your foundation,
it's all about the skin tone.
You wanna get something fabulous
that blends into your jawline,
your favorite manufacturer,
whatever, okay?
But for the eyes, cheeks, and lips,
it is all about your hair color.
And so what I did was I
designed these makeup kits
for the eyes, cheeks, and lips.
Every shade of every color
is gonna work for you.
Even if I hold it up to
your face, it's fabulous.
And they all blend with each other.
It's fabulous, it's
great, it's really great.
There's a lip gloss,
there are three different
shades of lipstick
because it's the same
thing with the colors.
It's not like you get
one blue and one green,
you get a bunch of shades,
but shades that all complement
your hair color, okay?
- That's beautiful.
- Well, the makeup kit is
all derived from the swatches
so the seams comes from the swatches,
to the makeup, to your hair, you see?
- That's a no-brainer.
- So everything all works together
and what you have works so hard
to get to with transitioning
and now you have this
fabulous head of hair,
how do you work it, what do you do
to make it soar, make it amazing?
And that's what I've done,
that's what I've done.
- You've saved us so much time and money
going to the store, trying
out different colors,
seeing if they'll work now.
This is all in one, it's a godsend,
it really is.
- Yeah, it's great.
- And I love these lipsticks.
- It's all mineral-based,
parabens-free lipstick.
It's a really clean product.
- Well, very few women have the beautiful
gray hair that you have.
I mean, my hair isn't naturally this color
and I choose to dye it.
- I've had a lot of women say,
"Oh, well if my hair
looked as good as yours
"then I would do it."
I said, "But how would you
know if you don't grow it out?"
You're not gonna know.
And anyway, all different
shades of gray, it's beautiful.
So why not just let it go?
- It's like, "Oh, I love your silver hair
"but that's not good for me.
"Mine would never do that."
You're only seeing a tiny bit.
Of course it's not gonna look good.
You got to give it some time to splay open
so we can really see it in its entirety.
- Everybody that now, work
or church or something,
they say to me, "Your hair is beautiful.
"If I could go that color, I would."
Like, "Oh my god, it's so
great you're doing this,
"I wish I had the guts to do this."
If I had a nickel for every
time I heard that from somebody.
- A lot of women still come
up to me and they're like,
"Oh, I love your hair, it's so beautiful,
"but I can't do that, it
won't look as good on me."
- I would like to see my hair grown,
and I wanted at first just to see it
so that I could look at it in front of me.
And when it got this
long, then people said,
"I think I really like that."
So I continued to let it grow
and I really enjoyed watching
the multiple colors come through,
so the race has been
how long can I get it?
And I can tell you that I have not had
this long hair since 1974.
- But I think it's also demonstrating
that gray is actually
color in and of itself.
It's not the absence of anything...
- It's just a different color.
- And I think there's
a spectrum, it's just a different color.
- So is there a right way to go gray, then?
- [Reporter] More and more
women are saying goodbye to dye
and hello to their
natural silver hair color.
Celebrities like Jamie Lee
Curtis and Helen Mirren
were some of the first to go full silver,
but young girls like Pink and
Lady Gaga have followed suit.
(transition rumbles)
(chiming music)
- The trend, I find it fascinating.
I think the young Osbourne girl
was one of the ones I remember
was wearing it very well.
She also had in colors of plum
and the way she designed her hair,
it was always very attractive.
Lady Gaga, I think she's done a great way
of showing and sharing with
people how that hair will look
- I find it quite flattering
that they want to look like us,
those of us who are naturally gray.
But on the other hand,
very damaging to their hair
and it's a lot of upkeep and expense.
- All right Susie, we're ready for you.
- [Reporter] Susie Katz
can't wait to go gray.
In fact, she's "dyeing" to.
- [Marie] Okay here we go,
there's no turning back now.
- [Reporter] The 29-year-old is one of
a growing number of young women and men
who are asking professionals
like Marie Robinson
to color their locks
various shades of gray.
- How often are you
doing this in your salon?
- I would say that we're averaging
probably three to four clients a week,
which I think is a lot for something
that's such an unusual and unique look.
- [Reporter] 24-year-old Jean Salvador
has been gray for the past four months.
- I come back to do
this about once a month.
- [Reporter] Colorist Lucille Javier
must bleach the hair to a pale yellow
then apply the gray tint.
- The transformation process is about
an eight to nine hour job.
- [Reporter] The average
cost is about $700,
but that can vary depending
on your hair and the salon.
After an entire day in the chair,
Susie loves her new look.
- I feel like a super chic older lady.
- I think what it actually says
is that they have seen enough of us women
with natural silver hair that look good
and healthy and happy and confident
that they think oh wow, I wanna try that.
- Some of them look good if
they wanna spend the money,
but I think they should
wait 'til they earn it.
- Well, women and men
who are naturally going gray,
they're embracing it
more because of this trend.
One of the colorists that I
spoke to, Marie Robinson,
she said that older people are noticing
this trend in younger
women and really embracing it
'cause it can be quite beautiful.
Because it's a lighter shade, they say
that gray is the new blonde.
It sort of has a brightening,
softening effect on a lot of people.
- A lot of people think
that I am having it done,
and they are very, very surprised
when I tell them that it's my hair.
And they're like "No, it's not."
Yes, it's my hair.
And at that point, I think I feel
a little bit of pride that I can have
someone think that it's
professionally done
when it's just me. (laughs)
- She was complimenting me on my hair
and thought I had it done.
- I get stopped out on the streets,
department stores, coffee houses.
They're always asking me,
"What color did you put in your hair?
"Oh, that's such a great cut."
I'm like, okay, do you
really wanna know the truth?
The truth is there's no color. (laughs)
It's my natural.
- My hair was up and just
the beginning was white
and people would ask me,
"How did you get that,
how did you do that?
"Who's your hairdresser?
"How do I get that look?"
And I said, "Well, nature.
"I just let it grow."
- I was recently in my cousin's wedding
and I got this really wild hairstyle
and I got so many compliments
'cause they're like, "Is that real?
(Victoria laughs)
"Did you do that just for the wedding?"
'Cause the accents to the
dresses were all silver.
So they were like, "Did you
get that done professionally?"
I'm like, "Well, the hairstyle yes,
"but the hair is au naturel."
- I realized this is who I am.
I wish I had done it back in my 30s
when I first noticed it, quite honestly.
- The only regret is
I didn't do it sooner.
I wish that I had.
- But I feel great now and it's something
that I wish I had done sooner.
- I wanna make this for my granddaughters.
I have a three year old
and I have a five year old,
and also for my grandsons,
because they're ten and six
and I don't want them to think
a woman is defined by
the color of her hair,
she's not beautiful because
she's older and she has gray hair.
I want them to realize women are beautiful
no matter what age they are,
and I want my granddaughters to realize
when they see that first
strand of silver hair,
it's not the end, it's only the beginning
of such a beautiful journey.
It's what you make of it and you can't
let the outside world or
society or even Hollywood
determine whether you're good enough
because you have gray hair.
Gray hair is a given and I wear
this like a badge of honor.
I am so blessed to be here and I'm proud
and I've earned the right to walk around
and be proud that I have my gray hair.
- A 12 or 13-year-old girl,
she actually came up to me
and told me that she liked my hair,
so I was like, "That's
really sweet of you."
So I always appreciate when
a young person likes my hair
because it's always nice.
- My 13-year-old has
gotten her first strand
and she's very excited about it.
She's looking forward to it.
My 16-year-old doesn't have any,
and my 28-year-old, she
is getting hers come in,
and she calls them her little
glitter streaks on her hair. (laughs)
- Now that I have
embraced my natural look,
I would love to be able to be part
of empowering young women
to just accept themselves
the way they are,
to kind of resist the culture
that we must do all these things
to create kind of a false
sense of who we are.
(transition chimes)
- Okay my lovelies, now the fun begins.
You have gone through the transition
and you have weathered
the storms, so to speak,
and now you are getting more compliments
than you have ever received
in your entire life about your hair,
and it's rather interesting because
all of the heartache that we went through
to get to the point of
being fully transitioned
is met with such applause
and such adulation and admiration,
it's amazing that anyone would have
anything negative to say ever about it
once you are fully
transitioned, as you will see.
- When you do embrace it,
there's something that feels
really good about that.
You know...
There's something that just feels good,
like you're being real,
you're being authentic.
- This has made me feel very powerful
and I can do anything.
- I really felt powerful because
I was making a choice and kind
of going against the grain
because people don't really like you
to go against the grain, right?
- My hair says I'm powerful,
original, and independent.
- The next day I went to my hairstylist
and I told him I want it all chopped off.
And when I took my first
look in the mirror,
for me, it was one of the
most freeing experiences
to just be me, it was great.
- For me, cutting my hair
short makes me feel free,
and going gray, especially all of the ones
we did all day say the keyword is freedom.
- Freedom.
They're like, "Freedom!"
- Don't listen to other people.
If it's what you want, just do it.
- I wanna be who I am, I wanna be real,
I wanna be genuine, I wanna be authentic,
and I wanna be free!
- It just makes me feel free and freer
for something that I don't have to
deal with every few weeks.
- And I wanted the freedom,
and that's what I have now.
I feel very free to be
myself with my hair as-is.
- I went through my phases of purple hair
and blonde, brunette,
redhead, you name it.
But honestly, none of them felt like me
the way that this does.
- So for me, it's about reinvention,
it's about authenticity.
- This is not about them, this is about me
and I've never been happier.
- It is an amazing journey in itself,
and it's liberating,
that's my word for that.
It is so liberating not to have any
products or chemicals on my head
and I don't know where else they go.
- I have loved every minute
of not dyeing my hair
in the past 14 weeks.
I have felt liberated like I
can't even begin to tell you.
My mind doesn't even think about,
oh, maybe I need to dye my hair,
or I'm going to this social occasion,
how far in will I be in my dye job,
will my roots be showing?
I mean all of that is...
- [Victoria] Which is everything
you thought about before.
- Yeah, totally, and it's poof, gone.
Not having to give that a
thought is fan-fucking-tastic.
- [Victoria] (laughs) I love it.
- It is awesome, and I mean that alone
gives me life that I'm like,
I can make it through this.
- [Victoria] Right.
- I've always caved in
to the general consensus,
what you should do, what you shouldn't do,
and I'm feeling a lot freer now.
- Like today, I'm coming here today
and I have to tell you,
I would've thought about,
well, when am I gonna color my hair,
is it gonna last by the time I get here,
is it gonna peek through?
Because my hair grows really fast.
So I would have to think
about all of that stress,
but I didn't have to
think about any of that,
which was awesome and I loved it.
- [Reporter] 51-year-old Dana Guerrero
wanted to follow the silver movement
and came to Massey for help.
- It'll definitely take a little while
for me to get used to
it, I'm anticipating that
because I think it'll
be a little radical today.
But I'm open to the experience.
- [Reporter] After a
few hours in the chair,
Dana is ready to see her transformation.
- Dana?
- Yes?
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
- I'm gonna turn you around.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Oh holy, oh my gosh.
- (laughs) No swearing.
- I know! (laughs)
Oh my goodness.
- Honestly.
- I don't even know who this is.
I don't know what to think.
I mean, it's beautiful, I love it.
It's such a change that I can't speak now.
I mean, I never am at a loss for words.
- [Reporter] Would you do
it again if you had to?
- Oh, totally.
There's something real deep going on here.
Yeah.
It's like a, I don't know?
(empowering music)
Gray Is The New Blonde means to me joy,
effervescence, power, life, energy,
and an upward trajectory 'til
we dive off into infinity.
- I have an inner confidence right now
and I'm not even fully gray yet.
I mean, 'cause this takes strength.
To walk through life like this right now,
you need to be a badass
and that's how I feel.
- It is a movement, it's a declaration
of a stage, not an age.
It moves me to be a
part of this beautiful,
beautiful time of life where women
are just standing up for who they are,
and who knew that it
would start with our hair?
- Don't allow anyone to ever make you
feel terrible about
yourself, ever, ever, ever,
because you are enough,
it's true, you are enough.
- I love the fact that there's
this stuff growing right out of your head
that just shouts to the world,
"I am the only one like this.
"There is nobody else like me."
And I think that's wonderful.
- I remember the first I was
in Downtown Houston on the steps,
and this particular guy
said, "That's God's glory."
And I turned around and
looked, I said, "Sir, what?"
And he said, "You ma'am,
that beautiful hair of yours,
"that beautiful gray and
silver hair of yours,
"that's God's glory," and he
said, "Just makes you shine."
- Gray used to represent
giving up or aging,
not being interested in anything current,
but now it's more of an act of rebellion.
- What happens to you while
you're going through your transition
is you discover really who
you are and what you wanna be.
- I think that it's about
owning our inner power
and not letting other people or media
tell us who we have to look like
or what we have to be like.
- Now is the perfect
time to be who you are,
be gray, just do whatever you wanna do,
look the way you wanna look.
- The way things are going now
where more women are
growing their hair out,
I think that's quite a
statement about our times.
I think it's amazing.
- I had a young man once tell me
I looked like a superhero
to him because of my hair.
- Every single silver-haired woman
is going to have a different
color of gray and silver.
No two will ever be the same.
It is you, your individual you.
And the problem with
when you color your hair,
50,000 other people
are using that product,
number 118 or whatever
the color you choose,
and every single one of you
have the same hair color.
There is no individuality there.
- And I'm happy where I am now,
and almost wish it was
even grayer than it is.
- Silver gray is beautiful,
and for all of y'all that are thinking,
oh, how are people gonna view me,
what's more important is how do you feel?
How do you view yourself?
And just if you feel good, then yeah,
you're gonna project that
and that's how everyone
is going to see you
and you're gonna get positive feedback.
- It's a whole new me with a
whole new empowered outlook.
- Most of the time I would think
of my grandparents when I saw gray hair,
but the truth was it was just an ideology
of most of us thinking only
grandparents have gray hair.
Many, many young people have gray hair.
- Once I got past I guess
the challenging part
where it was probably halfway grown out,
I just embraced it
and that's kinda how I feel about it.
I was just gonna embrace
it and hold my head high.
- I think it's amazing,
I think it's liberating,
I think it's about time there was a focus
on the forgotten woman.
- 'Cause I need to be the real me,
and so now I feel very settled in it.
I have been silver for
a solid six years now
and have no plans of even
putting a bit of color in it.
- You can go out in the
sunlight with a mirror
and look at your gray hair,
your natural gray hair,
and see how shiny it is.
But if it's either dyed
or bleached or whatever,
when you compare that,
there's not as much shine.
- A lot of young people
are dyeing their hair
to be gray or silver or
some kind of tone of gray,
and it's worked out in my benefit
because people look at me and they think,
oh, she's on trend, right?
She's hip, she's fashionable.
But really I was born this way. (laughs)
(Victoria laughing)
I didn't have to pay any
extra money for this.
- And I dedicate this film
to all my gorgeous gray
girlfriends around the world.
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work it over to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight
to the, to the top ♪
♪ Going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work our way to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work our way to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going dancing on
the top of the world ♪
(chimes)
(sexy, bluesy music)
- "Gray Is The New Blonde"
is a documentary whose time has come.
Women all across the world
of all ages and ethnicities
are choosing on purpose
to ditch the hair dye
and embrace their gorgeous grays.
This is truly a movement.
Never before in history have we seen
so many women choose on purpose
to embrace their gorgeous grays.
I am over the moon with excitement
to bring this film to you,
and I hope you enjoy it.
Growing up in the '70s, the only people
that I ever recall seeing with gray hair
were people who were really old.
I'm talking 80s and 90s.
I never, ever saw women in their 30s
or 40s or 50s with gray hair.
And what's interesting
is that research shows
that most people start to
see a sprinkling of gray
when they're in their late
teens to early to mid-20s.
And what you are about to see is that
the majority of women that I interviewed
in fact also saw their
first grays very young.
(bubbly music)
- By the time I was maybe, like 16,
I had a whole streak
coming down the side of my hair.
One long streak of gray.
- I actually didn't
see my first gray hair.
My girlfriend saw my first gray hair
when we were standing at the bus stop
when I was 15.
We were going downtown to go shopping,
and she reached over and she said,
"Hey, you've got a gray hair."
And then she plucked it from my head.
- I saw it when I was in high school.
I must have been a junior or senior
and I saw one gray hair,
it was pretty long.
I plucked it and since then,
I've been on this journey
of coloring my hair.
- Well, I had a few rogue
gray hairs growing in my 20s.
- We did our research and 18, 19
were the ones that really came up the most
that started to go silver
at that younger of an age.
- I started going gray at 17.
My mother will swear that she plucked
the first white hair
from my head at age four.
- [Reporter] 35-year-old Andrea Fishkin
started to see silver strands peek through
when she was just 12 years old.
- I felt that maybe there
was something wrong with me,
like why am I graying so early in my life?
- [Reporter] Hair goes gray
when color producing cells
stop producing pigment.
Scientists don't know exactly
why some people go gray early,
but genes play a large role.
- The very first time I
knew that I had a gray hair
was when I was 27 years old.
I was standing in the gym,
I guess I was by the
front register desk area,
and someone that I knew from the gym,
I knew this person and I
seem to recall it was a male,
very casually, not a bestie at all,
walks up to me and says,
"Oh, you have a gray hair,"
and proceeds to yank it out of my head.
- I was 26 when I saw my first gray hair.
- When I saw my first gray hair,
I believe I was 20 years
old, sophomore in college,
and I just thought, "Oh my
gosh, I'm getting old." (laughs)
That's basically what I thought.
- This is such a double standard
because I started getting
grays when I was 18
and everyone says it looks
distinguished, it's great.
I love it, I have no
problem with the grays,
but it's obviously such a
different experience for women.
- With a man, it can give
him a sense of authority.
With a woman, however, it can look like
she doesn't care about herself.
- When Anderson Cooper has gray hair,
they call him the silver fox.
A woman who has gray hair is like,
"Nana, can I help you with your bags?"
(audience laughing)
- Yes, exactly.
It's a double standard.
- 'Cause it's such a double standard.
For guys with gray hair
they're distinguished,
but women I think feel such pressure
not to allow themselves to have gray hair
and I think it looks great.
- Yeah, well I thank
you for pioneering it.
- Well, yes, I, it's right, yeah.
- This double standard
has been in existence
for thousands and thousands of years.
It's rooted in the original role
that men and women played in life.
Looks were important.
Women were to attract
a mate, they procreate.
And then they died before
they even saw gray hair
not that long ago, 100 years ago.
Men on the other hand were
about protecting their clan,
being powerful and strong.
Gray hair actually enhanced that role.
They were seen as more senior leaders.
- There's a patriarchal
world that we live in
where our value is measured by men
and it has to with procreation,
fertility, submission.
- [Karen] All men have gray hair. (laughs)
- [Victoria] Yes.
- So it's just like
why is it okay for them
and not me, so that's kinda
-my attitude, I think,
just projecting that to people.
- But I do think that
there's a double standard
when it comes to men,
and men are distinguished
and women just are old.
But we're here, of course,
to break that stereotype.
(transitional chimes)
- Indeed we are, Sandra, indeed we are.
And the days of this double
standard are clearly numbered.
This outdated view that women
are no longer attractive
and somehow less desirable has
begun to fade, pun intended.
And my thought has been how
did we get here as a society?
What has happened in our past
to bring us to this point
to where we revere men,
they're distinguished,
they're worldly, they're sophisticated,
but for women, oh my goodness,
it's quite different.
And how did we as a society get here?
Well, the research is fascinating
and it begins to shed some
light on how we did get here.
- [Narrator] In 1891, an ad
for Imperial Hair Regenerator
stated, quote, "No lady who thoroughly
"appreciates good
appearance would ever dream
"of appearing in society
with streaky or gray hair.
"They are both unbecoming
"and when a perfect
preparation can be obtained
"for overcoming these difficulties,
"there is no reasonable
justification for the continuance."
The message in all such ads was clear:
no woman should have gray hair,
and these products provided a way to stem
that most visible sign of aging.
Nevertheless, even with
intensive advertising
only about 7% of American women
dyed their hair by mid-century.
The modern hair coloring revolution
came through clever, image
changing advertising.
(inspirational, powerful piano music)
- [Woman] Coloring my hair is such a job.
Sectioning, dipping,
repeated color checks.
- [Woman] Dull, streaked with gray.
Even with this perfect makeup,
she looks faded, unattractive.
- [Man] If your hair is dull
or faded or streaked with gray,
try Miss Clairol Hair Color.
- With Miss Clairol, the
color looks so natural.
Only your hairdresser knows for sure.
- [Man] Easy to do, apply like shampoo.
- [Woman] In minutes,
she looks years younger.
- My gray hair makes me feel so old,
you know what I'm gonna do?
♪ I'm gonna wash that
gray right out of my hair ♪
♪ I'm gonna wash that
gray right out of my hair ♪
- [Man] Loving Care
Color Lotion from Clairol
washes away your gray and washes
in your own natural color.
♪ So I washed that gray
right out of my hair ♪
♪ Oh yes, I washed that
gray right out of my hair ♪
- [Man] Wash that gray
right out of your hair
with Clairol Loving Care.
- So many Americans color their hair.
It's over 75%.
So that now becomes the reality.
And so being natural
seems to be the oddity
as opposed to, like, my hair's blonde.
Well, maybe it was but it isn't anymore.
- [Reporter] Debbie Lyman is
at the salon every two weeks
covering her gray, unlike her twin Naomi.
- I'm jealous, I admit it.
- I just feel liberated and
I get so many compliments
that I feel like it's my best feature.
- There's so many unhappy people out there
dying their hair every three weeks
and they're not even thinking
that there's another way.
- What was the turning point that you said
I just am not gonna dye my hair anymore?
I was thinking the turning point
was going to be when you
learned about the tumor.
So I thought, okay, then that had, but no.
- Yeah, I had not even thought about it
'cause it was such a thing
that everybody dyed their hair.
My mom had pretty gray hair young
and she always dyed her hair,
so I didn't even think
about don't dye your hair,
it was just like oh,
whatever, this is normal.
I'm just gonna keep dying my hair.
- I was just willing to go get it colored
'cause that's all that I knew back then.
- I just feel like these
women are stuck doing,
you know, how they have
to color their hair
every three weeks, two weeks,
one week, it's too much.
- And then it comes back to money.
So you're talking about
trying to knock out a system
that's been working really well
for the people that are
in power, and that's,
you know, what do you want, a revolution?
- A lot of women feel
insecure all the time
because of how the media makes us feel.
- And when we look at the economics,
nobody makes money if they tell us
we look good the way we are.
Money is made by making us feel bad.
- Advertisers will
never voluntarily change
because it is profitable for them
when we feel terrible about ourselves.
Basically we're told that women
are acceptable only if
we're young, thin, white,
or at least light skinned,
perfectly groomed and
polished, plucked and shaved.
And any deviation from this ideal
is met with a lot of
contempt and hostility.
Women who are considered ugly
are ridiculed in advertising campaigns.
So these ads are meant to be funny,
but the message to girls
and women is clear.
If you're not conventionally beautiful,
you're an object of ridicule and contempt.
Your worth depends on how you look.
You're going to be graded on a curve.
This contempt for women
who do not measure up
is waiting for all of us, of
course, eventually as we age.
So no wonder there's such terror
of showing any signs of aging.
(somber music)
- I was horrified.
I thought oh, if I grow it
out, I'm gonna be so old,
I'm gonna look old,
it's gonna be horrible.
- And I tried to dye my
hair and keep up with it
to make sure that no one
knew I had any gray hair
and how horrible it would be
if anybody found out that I had gray hair.
So I started dyeing it and
of course as time went on,
the grayer I got, the more
I would need to dye it.
- And I was embarrassed and I was ashamed
that all of the sudden, I had gray hair.
That's when I started dying my hair
because I didn't want my friends
to know about my gray
hair and I actually lied.
One of my friends asked
me, "Oh my gosh Terry,
"your hair is so nice
and black and so shiny.
"Did you dye it?"
And I flat-out told her no,
and I never felt good about
not being honest with her,
but I really didn't want her to know
that I was having gray
hair at a young age.
- I was about 18 when I
started seeing gray hair.
At first I was totally mortified.
- By the time I was 19, I had
a white Elvira streak... in my
right out of the top.
My mother and my aunt,
they took me to the store
where they used to sell For
Brunettes Only hair color
and helped me pick out the proper shade
so that I could color my hair.
- [Reporter] No group in Hollywood
feels the effects of ageism like women,
and many celebrities
have been vocal about it.
Helen Mirren has critiqued the industry
for age discrimination,
saying Hollywood is all
about youth and beauty.
- There is a lot of
ageism and I do, I do feel
that the gray hair has hurt me.
But it has not changed my resolve.
I think that it's
important to have somebody
on television, in movies, in
commercials, in magazines.
I think it is important that we have
silver-haired and gray-haired women
represented in all of those places.
- Oh yeah, I have a friend
who is a hardworking actress.
She's very successful,
she's won two Emmys,
and when I told her, I said,
"Next time you see me,
you may not recognize me
"because I've started going gray,"
and she has said, "I can't do that."
She said, "That would be great,
"but I can't do that because of my job."
- If I had gray hair, I
would not have this job.
I'm just saying that right now.
(audience applauding)
- Really? Yep.
- I came to LA three and a half years ago
to get into commercials.
So I'm told, "Well, if
you color your hair,
"you might have a better chance."
I won't.
"If you cut your hair,
because women your age
"really shouldn't have long hair.
"It doesn't look right."
And I refused to cut my hair.
I've always had long
hair and it's gonna stay.
- When I first was talking
to Chuck about it, I said,
He said, "Do you have any idea
of how you wanna play her?"
And I said, "Well, I
think she should be gray."
And he was like, "Really?"
He said, "I kinda thought she should have
"the same color hair
that her daughter has."
I said,
"You know, if I'm gonna play
an old woman, I really..."
Also, because everybody's
having their Me Too plus moment,
I think we all need to kind of
grab ahold of our authenticity.
And it's like, what's
wrong with being gray?
Just because most actors,
actresses, don't go,
"You know, I can't wait to be gray."
I myself had recently
just stopped dying my hair
because it was like who am I kidding?
It's stupid and I was just over it.
So I wanted her to be totally
authentic in that way.
- Being that I worked
in the makeup industry,
I was very on-cue to have
hair that wasn't gray.
- I was a singer for a while,
but then when I went to
Nashville the A&R guy says,
"When are you gonna cover up that gray?"
I really didn't like that,
I didn't think it was fair.
I thought what does this
have to do with singing?
- The whole point I started my blog
was really not about fashion,
it was about shifting the paradigm
of women feeling invisible in our society,
which really does happen.
And I know I went to look
for a job when I was 58
and I experienced so much ageism,
and I talk to women all the time
and women say it starts at 40.
Not only is it sad, but
it's such a disservice
'cause people now are living to be 90, 96,
and so does that mean when you hit 40
you've got 50 more years
where you can't dress nicely
or sexy or whatever your style is?
That's crazy, and so that
was why I started my blog.
It was not just about fashion,
it was about women who
are experiencing that
in the workplace, just
in society in general,
because I think a lot of younger
women dread getting older
because they feel they're
gonna fall off this cliff
at the age of 50 or whatever
age it is that they're dreading.
And so it's not about dreading your age,
it's about embracing every
year that you're alive
because a lot of us don't get to be old.
Transition chimes
- Ageism, it is just another
summit for us to climb
as we attempt to live
our lives authentically.
More money, more time just to keep up
with what has been deemed by society
as acceptable and appropriate,
and with that how long is
too long to dye your hair?
10 years, 20 years, 30 years, how long?
- It was decades, decades of doing it,
and I stopped, I was 56.
I first wanted to do it 2013.
I held off letting it go
because my dad had Alzheimer's,
and dementia, and he knew
me with my dark hair down,
if I wore my hair down.
And if I wore my hair up,
even when it was still dark,
and then I took it down he'd say,
"Hey, when did you get here?"
So I felt like he still
knows me, he knows who I am.
Once he didn't know me,
he didn't know I was his daughter anymore,
it's a tough disease, and
he didn't recognize me,
and I thought okay, now I can do this.
- I used to color my hair
every two weeks to three weeks
for years, I did it for years.
And then it just got worse and then worse,
and then every time I would color my hair,
the next day or two I could see
just a little bit
peeking out from my scalp
and it was very frustrating.
- I was once again thinking about
I had dyed my hair on December 24th
and it was like January
7th or something like that,
and I was starting to
plan my next hair dye
and I just was like, "God,
this is a pain in the ass."
"I've been doing this
since I was 28 years old
and I'm 51, and why am I
putting myself through this?"
"Maybe now's the time for me
to see what's under there."
It just literally was like
a bolt of lightning striking me,
going, "I think I might be
done, I think I wanna try this."
- So what was different this time
from the first time you tried it
that you have stayed the path?
That even with the family functions
and the family pressures,
you have said no, I'm
gonna stick with this?
- I think I'm just done, I was tired,
I was tried of the almost weekly
hair dye appointment with
myself that I had to do,
it was something that I had to plan,
it was an expense, and it
was just more of a hassle
than I guess the personal benefit
I felt from getting it done.
It wasn't doing it for me
anymore and I just had enough.
- I don't have the patience to sit
at a hairdresser every two weeks.
- Because that's
what's required, yeah.
- To get the roots done, yes.
- I dyed it at least 20 years.
It was just that I'm tired.
I'm tired of coloring
it, I'm letting it go.
- I really started to have a lot
when I was in my early 40s,
and that's when I started to color it.
- I think that it was
in the 40s, in my 40s,
that I started dying my hair too.
I didn't have as much gray hairs,
but I started noticing it
and of course my hairdresser
noticed it and said,
"Oh, maybe you should consider
starting to dye your hair."
- It got to be where my gray was so white
that I was having to go
in every three weeks.
So by this time, I'm letting her color it
and highlight it so it'll look natural
and paying a lot of money.
- I was more of a rebel.
I would hold out until I
had two inches outgrowth.
I just didn't like sitting in the chair.
As I continued on, the gray,
I have extremely coarse, curly hair,
the gray just wouldn't pick up the color.
I never blamed my hairdresser for it.
My hair is just hard to color
and I'd come home and I'd still see
a couple of glints in the mirror
and be like, "It's not
even dyeing anymore."
- I just didn't like going
to salons very often.
Because of that I said,
"This is it, I'm not
gonna do this anymore,"
so I stopped.
- I'm tired of doing this, it's goopy,
it's nasty, it's messy. (laughs)
- I was just tired of seeing my roots
and seeing at least four different colors,
and I was just tired of
getting a massive headache,
being nauseous when I would dye my hair.
And I just said that's it.
- I started to dye it when I was age 40.
Well, at 42 I started coloring it.
I just kept coloring it every eight weeks,
then every six weeks, then
it was every four weeks,
and it got to the point when I turned 55,
I said, "You know what, I
just can't do this anymore,
"I'm just tired of it."
It's every four weeks.
You live around the
bottle or the hair dye.
You can't go to a wedding,
you can't go swimming,
you can't do anything.
You can't even go to the gym
because your roots are gonna show.
I'm like who cares?
Hair color shouldn't define a woman.
- [Reporter] Melissa Malbranche
isn't bashful about her hair.
Silver streaks started at 17,
and two years ago at 43, she
decided to go au naturale.
- It became more of a chore,
something that I sort of
dreading having to do,
and I said enough.
(transition chimes)
- So aside from the time, the money,
the monotony of having
to get your roots done
every two to three to
four weeks depending,
there is a hidden danger
that some of you are very well aware of
and in fact had to stop dyeing
your hair because of this.
- Recently, someone wrote in
saying they were concerned
about toxic chemicals in
hair dyes and specifically
a chemical called
paraphenylenediamine, or PPD.
PPD is used in permanent hair dyes
and other dark colored cosmetics.
It is a colorless chemical
that becomes pigmented
when mixed with an oxidizing agent,
usually hydrogen peroxide.
Now the Environmental Working Group
classifies PPD as an above
moderate health hazard
mostly for the allergic
reactions it can induce.
Occasionally PPD causes hives
and much more rarely serious anaphylaxis.
- [Reporter] Whether
you like your hair down
or all done up,
(women laughing)
most of us hope to leave
the salon feeling pretty.
- I just wanted a cute
little stylish haircut.
- [Reporter] That was the
plan for Patrice Washington,
who wanted to look nice for
her daughter's birthday.
- I wanted to do the jet black
'cause my hair is naturally
kind of a light brown.
So I just wanted to get the same
haircut I've been getting for years.
- [Reporter] On the left,
the look she was going for.
On the right, the one she got.
- And I look like a monster, this is...
I can't recognize my
face, it just looks...
Kids are looking at me crazy.
I just looked, this is ridiculous,
my face is swollen, my
scalp is all blistered,
my hair is falling out.
I just feel like the
Elephant Man or something.
- [Reporter] Doctors say she
had a severe allergic reaction
to a common chemical found in hair dye.
- PPD.
- Paraphenylenediamine is a coloring agent
that we can trace back
to the Industrial Age
when we were using that to
color clothing and even furs.
- [Reporter] In the last 15 years,
Dr. Michael Gross says he has seen
between 50 and 60 people
with the allergy to PPD.
- I had all kind of chemicals in my hair.
I'm not sure why this dye, this time.
- A person may have had
exposure to it once,
had no problem, went
back and had it again,
and had a rip-roaring reaction.
- [Reporter] The effects
range from an itch
to trouble breathing and possibly death.
Like many of us, Patrice
didn't worry about that
when she sat down in the chair,
didn't ask to see the fine print.
- I had two very severe
reactions to hair dye,
and it ended up that I
ended up in the ER twice.
Some women are sensitive...
- Yeah, a lot of women are.
- To hair dye,
but they don't know, so
then they all of a sudden
have like an autoimmune disease.
- Yeah.
- Like rheumatoid or lupus
and could it be traced back
to the fact that they've been
dying their hair and
they're chemical sensitive?
I think it's completely possible
because there's a lot
of autoimmune diseases
that have suddenly arrived in the world,
but now all of a sudden they are.
So is it our chemicals, is it
chemicals we put on our body,
is it chemicals that we're eating?
As a physician, those are all things
that come to my mind.
- The thought of putting
hair dye on my hair
knowing that it would
absorb through my scalp,
that was not something
I was interested in.
I wanted to stay away
from chemicals, basically.
- We were a little concerned
because we both had such dark hair,
and hearing that dark hair colors
were kinda carcinogenic
or dangerous for us,
we were kinda worried about them
sitting on our heads for
such long periods of time.
- Yeah.
- Someone I know personally actually got
like a cyst in their scalp
from dying their hair all the time.
So it can be very dangerous
because your skull is right there,
so you could get a bone infection,
you could get chronic infections
that make your hair fall out.
- I started having damage to my scalp
and peeling and burning and
losing hair in certain areas.
And I decided that I was done with it.
- PPD is one of around 5,000 chemicals
found in hair dye products today,
and some of these chemicals
are reported to be carcinogenic
according to the National
Cancer Institute.
So there are definitely other
chemicals to watch out for.
- [Reporter] There are a few ways
women can embrace their
naturally changing shade.
You can quit dying your hair cold turkey,
start adding highlights or lowlights
for a smoother tone transition,
begin growing out your
color from underneath.
- If a client comes to me and they're just
starting to think about it,
I'm gonna maybe either start putting
some lowlights or some highlights
to start diffusing the line
and start to let the gray grow.
I'll just do that on the
outer part of the hair
while I let the inside grow.
So that's one way of doing it.
- So I was actually thinking about
going gray or going natural.
I currently color my hair at home
with a all-natural dye from Whole Foods,
and at this point I'm just not sure
if that's the best look for me.
- Well Philomena, it is time to commit.
Eva Scrivo and her team
are working hard to help.
- I now have Philomena in my chair
and she wants to grow out
her natural gray hair.
We're going to add some
cool-toned highlights
throughout the hair.
Her natural emerging
gray, we want to integrate
into the rest of her hair,
and also teach Philomena
how to care for her hair.
When the hair starts to lose pigment,
it can be very coarse.
So home care, a beautiful haircut,
and a new makeup palette
will really do wonders.
(audience applauding)
- We have Philomena.
She was considering embracing her gray
but she's a little bit
trepidatious about it.
This is how she looked before.
All right,
well Philomena come on down.
- So let's bring her out.
(upbeat music)
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
- Oh, you look so nice, I love it.
Here, stand there so we can
see you before and after.
That looks so, well
you're a beautiful woman.
- Oh, thank you.
(Katie laughs)
- She is.
- That looks so nice.
- Thank you.
- And how do you feel
about this kind of transitional look?
- [Philomena] Liberated.
- You do?
- Yeah, yeah, it feels good.
It feels like I don't have to fuss
or worry about how it looks all the time.
- And so is her natural
gray gonna grow in now?
- Yes, and we put
just a few...
- So does she have to
do this a lot more?
- No, it's not about doing nothing,
it's about doing something different
when you have gray hair.
So every few months, we'll add
a few more gray highlights,
start the integration process
so that she doesn't have to
do her roots every four weeks,
we kept her hair long 'cause
that's more who she is,
and it has lots of layers and shape.
But I must warn you, if
you're going to go gray,
make sure you take
really good care of your hair
and you learn how to do a blowout,
because the smoother, the better.
- 'Cause her hair is much coarser.
- So we talked about maybe highlighting it
or trying to grow it out gradually.
She said, "You're just
gonna have to cut it off."
And I thought fine, I'll cut it off.
I've never had short hair before.
And it took four months to grow out
and my agent said, "We love
your hair, keep it short."
And that's how I arrived at silver hair.
- Listen, I wanted to go cold turkey,
which I did go cold turkey for
the first part of the book.
And then halfway through, I wanted to then
understand what it's like to...
The underneath stayed really rusty,
so I decided to bleach that out
and then tone it to match the top.
- I just started getting curious.
I wonder what my hair looks like.
I wonder what my real hair looks like
and what would it be like if I didn't
have to have that anxiety,
oh god, my roots are showing,
or it's orange, I have to dye my hair.
What would it be like if
I just let my hair grow?
- I just let the gray come in and then
kept cutting it down
'til the gray took over.
- So I just let it go.
So it grew in and then I had
part gray and then part dark,
and then I just cut it really short.
- [Victoria] Oh, you did the pixie.
- I just did the pixie,
let it go, cut it short,
and let it grow in a little bit.
And I've never looked back.
- I got tired of fooling with that too,
so I just did a buzz
cut and let it grow out.
- [Anderson] (laughs) Did you really?
- Yeah, yeah, I mean I have to
have my hair long for the show,
but I'd like for it to be short.
- [Anderson] You actually did a buzz cut?
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Actually, at that time when I was
letting this stuff come in,
my hair was already a short pixie cut.
It only took me about two
months for my transition
because once the short little
1.5 inch hair then grew out
and I had a little bit,
we just cut it off.
So I had this very, very tight,
short, maybe inch of gray.
- So the grow-out process was awful.
At first I thought it was kind of fun
because I started wearing
so many different hats
and so many different styles,
but then the gray started
growing longer than the hats,
so I switched to a wig
because in my profession,
I just couldn't really have a skunk stripe
going down my head.
So I switched to a wig and
I really had fun with that
because I'd never been a redhead,
I'd always been a brunette,
and the wig was sort of
reddish and I really liked it.
But then everybody let me know
that it just did not look good,
and so by the end I was really,
'cause it took me two years.
And I'm sick of it,
I'm totally done with it.
As of today, I'm not doing that anymore.
(women cheering)
(women applauding)
- I'm done with that.
- I live!
- Don't be telling me
what beauty looks like
and don't be telling me
what pretty looks like.
And by the end of it,
I was really sick of it
and just happy to whip it
off my head and be done.
- Transition was a challenge at times,
'cause initially you feel like
people are looking at you,
what is she doing to her hair,
why isn't she coloring her roots,
and it takes a while for
it to look purposeful,
and I think that was probably
the biggest challenge for me.
(spirited music)
- I love your hair.
- Thank you, I love it too.
- So what happened
that you decided I'm gonna...
- I woke up one day,
I turned 75 on April
Fool's Day, as you know,
and I suddenly thought enough is enough.
I mean, there's something very funny,
I'm sure there's a million people
out there that think I'm crazy,
I felt some kind of change, I really did.
It was subtle but I think it's all about
building up to who are you.
My god, about time.
And I thought screw it,
I'm just gonna see what it looks like.
And it looked awful for a
while, but now I really love it.
(transition cymbals)
transition chimes
- As if the double standard,
the ageism, the chemicals
is not enough, a woman
has to contend with,
quite surprisingly, the negative feedback
that she gets from society,
and I'm talking about her close friends,
her family members, and worst
of all complete strangers.
- I recently got this comment on my blog.
"You look like you are
70 with your gray hairs.
"You really should
consider dyeing them for TV
"so you don't look like such an old hag."
"Just a suggestion."
I am 31 years old, and I've got
a fair amount of gray hair as you can see.
Now normally I just share recipes,
but today I wanted to take a minute
to talk about this comment
and address it publicly
because this is something
I feel strongly about.
My husband actually feels very strongly
that I shouldn't dye my hair,
and his reasoning is that he
wants us to grow old together.
How cute is that?
If you read my About Me page,
you'll find that I have
a rare autoimmune disease
that means that I will most likely
never live to be 70 years old.
Every sign of aging that I have
is a sign that I'm still alive.
A lot of people don't get the privilege
to ever live to be old, and
I probably won't either.
Which means that I don't have time
to waste criticizing myself,
and I don't have time to waste
criticizing other people.
I care a lot more about what
my life is like right now.
- Was this up-and-coming
salon stylist wonder woman
thought it upon herself
to come running after me
to tell me that she could salvage me
and save me from myself,
and how she could color my hair
and make me less haggard and
less old and less wrinkly,
and I could be beautiful.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
It went over really big.
For me, personally, I feel
if I was to dye my hair,
I would have a wrinkly
face with dyed hair.
Now how is that gonna
make me look younger?
I sat there and thought
you know what Audrey,
you're a beautiful person,
and if she'd known all the
things that I had survived,
then she wouldn't be
so heartless and cruel.
And I said to heck with the little twerp,
but it's sad that in today's society,
we have to be approached
and actually attacked in such a manner.
- I had a 10-year relationship
that was on again and off
again and mostly it was off,
but just prior to my going gray,
we had decided to really go for it
and make more of a relationship,
and he told me pretty
much every single day
that I needed to dye my hair, every day.
He was very, very negative
and cruelly so, I thought,
not kind about it.
I don't think a woman needs to hear
that she needs to change herself every day
in order to be worthy of love.
- I have this friend from college
that I've kept in contact with for years,
and over the years every few times,
"If you dyed your hair, you would look-
exactly the way you looked
when you were in college."
One day I told him, I said,
"I am not trying to look like
I looked in my college days,
"I'm trying to look great in the age
"and at the years it is at this time."
And I said, "I can't go
back, I don't wanna go back,
"and I'm just embracing
myself at this time
"with my gray hair, and I love it."
- From a previous
coworker, female, my age,
and she made the comment on Facebook,
and she just stated, "I
hate that gray hair."
- Yeah, someone I knew not really well
but she just didn't like it at all.
I forget her words but it was
something like, "Oh, oh no."
- A few years ago I divorced,
and a couple of years after
my divorce I began dating.
And one of the gentlemen that
I had gone out with two or three times,
he says, "Hey, you have a
good look about yourself,
"but I think you ought to color your hair.
"It makes you look old
the way you wear it,
"the color of it makes you look old."
- You get a lot of flack.
I cannot tell you how many people,
"Lauren, you're so
pretty, you look so great,
"you should just cover your gray
"'cause it'll make you look younger.
- I was humiliated at a hair salon.
The hairdresser parted my hair,
and so he called everyone over and said,
"Look at this hair."
He said that he thought it was 50%,
and it might have been gray and white,
he said, "Look at this,"
and I was 16, I was very...
You wanna not stand out in a negative way,
and at that time I didn't
have this understanding
that I do now about this freedom.
- I never dyed my hair.
Every single day I would
receive negative comments.
"You would be so much better,
"you'd be so much younger,
you'd be so much this,"
and I just became so rebellious about it
it was almost just no
way, no way would I do it.
- If you see a woman on the street
who is growing her hair out
and she has four inches of
gray on the top of her head
and then whatever color down below,
you should know that that woman
is really fucking strong
because it takes a
strong woman to do that.
That is a lot of pain.
Every time she looks in the mirror,
she's seeing half of one
thing, half of another.
She doesn't really feel like
she's got much of anything going on.
However many inches there
are, that's how many months
she's been going through that transition
and having people in her life
say negative things to her.
Boy, the grow out is tough
and I understand that a lot of women
cave during the grow out.
- I caved, yes, I caved.
My mother does not like it.
My son does not like it.
My brother does not like it.
So it was a lot of negativity
and just, I caved to pressure.
- I did have one lady in the book
who did go back and that was because
she was shamed by her regular hairdresser,
and he told her that she
looked like a battleship gray.
And other than that, she really liked it
but it was the terminology
used around the color she had.
And she said she immediately dyed it back.
- Many times, I changed my mind
because of the people that were around me
and were asking me to color my hair
because I look younger
and I'll feel better.
- I remember talking to a male friend
and he mentioned that gray hair
would make a person look dirty
I don't want people to
think that I'm dirty,
so I guess I'm gonna have to
dye my hair again. (laughs)
- I was in an interview for
an adjunct professor position.
The man opposite me said,
"Oh, you must be in your mid-30s."
And I said, "No, I'm 26."
And he said, looking sort of
horrified, "Oh, you're 26?
"But I can see your roots,
"so I assumed you were in your 30s."
Okay, this did not sit well with me,
so I immediately started dying my hair,
and I'd been dying my hair from 26 to 50.
- I was with my cousin and we were out
and someone asked me was I her mother.
And I caved that day.
- Gray hair in my culture
symbolizes old age.
Your youth is gone.
Who's going to marry you?
Especially in my culture,
you have to look young,
you have to look beautiful,
you have to have jet black hair
for your husband-to-be in the future.
- When I moved into Laguna Beach,
I met a friend and she told me that no one
would really wanna date
me if I had silver hair,
unless they were kind of a granola person
and that would be fine if
that's what I was okay with.
- It brings me back to my family,
who think I was gonna just look old
and no one was gonna wanna date
me because I had gray hair.
And I did worry about that.
I have gotten divorced,
not because of the gray,
but when I was with him and
prior to stopping the dye,
whenever it would grow in,
he would call me stripe
because I would have a stripe of gray.
So that always stuck with me like hmm.
But then becoming single and worrying
what guys were gonna
think about the gray hair,
you know you kinda question
it, you do gotta wonder,
but then again if someone
is not gonna accept me
for who I am and what color my hair is
regardless if it's gray or
brown or pink or purple,
then he's probably not
the one for me anyway.
(transition chimes)
- So many women think that if they
embrace their gorgeous grays,
if they allow their natural silver,
white, gray hair to come through,
that they are going to have
a difficult time dating.
And while that may sound reasonable,
the reality is, and this
is based on a comprehensive
social experiment which
you're about to see,
the reality is that it
is quite the opposite.
(audience clapping)
- Well, if you color your hair,
you know how costly it can be,
especially if you add it up over time.
It's like drinking five
cappuccinos a day, really.
Our guest Anne Kreamer did just that,
and can you guess the amount she spent?
A staggering $65,000.
It's enough to make your hair turn gray
even if it isn't gray.
And that's just what she did.
It's all in her new book, "Going Gray."
When you started doing
research for the book,
it was really more like
a social experiment.
- It was, I mean, I decided I did
a lot of different things.
I did surveys where I sort
of polled people nationwide,
I went out and I talked to women
in malls across the country.
And trust me, you can talk to them
about anything in their
lives once you say,
"Can we talk about your
hair for a few minutes?"
And then I interviewed
people across the world.
- [Martha] Hairdressers?
- Hairdressers across the country.
I went in to meet with
corporate recruiters,
image consultants...
- Did you go
both as dyed hair and as gray hair
on Match so you had some
sort of way to see...
- That's exactly what I did.
- You did, okay.
- I went on...
- [Martha] And where did
you get the most response?
- With my gray hair.
- You did?
- Counterintuitively.
I went on in New York,
Chicago, and Los Angeles,
and in each of those markets,
three times as many men were interested
in going out with me with my hair gray
as they were with my hair brown.
- [Martha] Really, three times?
- Yeah, three times, it was fabulous.
- Most men like it.
It shows them that you have a confidence,
that you wanna be who you are.
That's, I think, the
message that men pick up.
- Dating or just talking
to people in general,
I've just never had any problems.
I think I do better now
than I have years ago,
and I think that's a good thing.
- I didn't have any problems dating,
and I think the reason
is because I owned it,
I wore it proudly, and I was authentic,
and I never had a problem
dating, mm-mm girl, mm-mm.
Not one bit. (laughs)
I had plenty of boyfriends.
- Dated a lot of men and nothing
ever came of my hair color.
I think they liked it, I
think they really liked it.
And then I met my second husband
and he has a full head of white hair now.
- Actually, I have a lot of men stop me
and tell me how great my hair looks
or how much they like my hair.
(transition chimes)
- So many women become very aware
that once they have
silver, gray, or white hair
that the colors that they used to wear
on clothing, jewelry, their makeup,
actually has to change.
So I had the good fortune
of meeting Jill Kirsh.
She is a color consultant
and she has been featured everywhere.
She was named the Best Color Consultant
by L.A. Magazine's Best of L.A. issue.
She was featured in In Style Magazine,
The Los Angeles Times, countless
TV programs on NBC, ABC,
and I am thrilled that she agreed
to be a part of this documentary
so that you ladies will know now
what colors you should be wearing
with your new silver, gray, white hair.
- I put together a system
for fashion and for beauty
that's entirely based on
someone's present hair color
because what I've learned over the years
is that your hair frames your face.
It frames your eyes and your smile
and you really need to work it
to pull everything together.
Everyone can wear most every color.
It just depends on the
shade of that color.
And for the gray, for the salt and pepper,
for silver, it's very different
than for basically any other hair color.
You wanna see all your colors?
- I would love to see
all my colors, yes, yes.
- Do you wanna see all her colors?
- Okay.
- Let's see it.
- These are your colors.
So I'm gonna take you through this.
Every single shade in here is great
with salt and pepper
hair, silver hair, okay,
everything in here works really well.
Grays are fabulous, grays, black totally,
all of these, yellow, but a
really clear, true yellow,
orange, these are very
stark, clear colors.
The red is a true red,
it's not too orange-y, it's not too blue.
And pink...
- Now how am I gonna remember
all of these colors that I can wear?
- Oh, you don't remember,
you just remember.
- (laughs) I don't have
a photographic memory.
- Okay, so this is what I've
done to make it so simple.
I've put together this swatch book.
This is like the keys to the
kingdom, this is everything.
My clients don't go shopping without this.
- It's the perfect size.
- Look at this, it's like a wallet size,
it takes every single
shade of these colors
and you take it with you to go shopping
and you go up to the item in the store
and you go, "Okay, is this this color?"
See, she would never buy this
color every anymore, right?
'Cause it's not in her swatch book, okay?
So the other thing that's really
cool about the swatch book
is that not only are all
of these your colors,
but you can mix and
match and layer and this
and it's awesome and
it works all the time.
And this goes from...
- This is makeup that
goes with it as well?
- [Jill] It is.
- [Victoria] This is gonna tell me
what colors I can wear now?
- Yes, it's gonna give you every shade.
- I knew they had to be
different because, yeah,
okay, cool, I'm very excited.
- Very different, enough said,
enough said. (laughs)
Yeah, so here's something I
wanna share with everyone.
Okay, for your base, for your foundation,
it's all about the skin tone.
You wanna get something fabulous
that blends into your jawline,
your favorite manufacturer,
whatever, okay?
But for the eyes, cheeks, and lips,
it is all about your hair color.
And so what I did was I
designed these makeup kits
for the eyes, cheeks, and lips.
Every shade of every color
is gonna work for you.
Even if I hold it up to
your face, it's fabulous.
And they all blend with each other.
It's fabulous, it's
great, it's really great.
There's a lip gloss,
there are three different
shades of lipstick
because it's the same
thing with the colors.
It's not like you get
one blue and one green,
you get a bunch of shades,
but shades that all complement
your hair color, okay?
- That's beautiful.
- Well, the makeup kit is
all derived from the swatches
so the seams comes from the swatches,
to the makeup, to your hair, you see?
- That's a no-brainer.
- So everything all works together
and what you have works so hard
to get to with transitioning
and now you have this
fabulous head of hair,
how do you work it, what do you do
to make it soar, make it amazing?
And that's what I've done,
that's what I've done.
- You've saved us so much time and money
going to the store, trying
out different colors,
seeing if they'll work now.
This is all in one, it's a godsend,
it really is.
- Yeah, it's great.
- And I love these lipsticks.
- It's all mineral-based,
parabens-free lipstick.
It's a really clean product.
- Well, very few women have the beautiful
gray hair that you have.
I mean, my hair isn't naturally this color
and I choose to dye it.
- I've had a lot of women say,
"Oh, well if my hair
looked as good as yours
"then I would do it."
I said, "But how would you
know if you don't grow it out?"
You're not gonna know.
And anyway, all different
shades of gray, it's beautiful.
So why not just let it go?
- It's like, "Oh, I love your silver hair
"but that's not good for me.
"Mine would never do that."
You're only seeing a tiny bit.
Of course it's not gonna look good.
You got to give it some time to splay open
so we can really see it in its entirety.
- Everybody that now, work
or church or something,
they say to me, "Your hair is beautiful.
"If I could go that color, I would."
Like, "Oh my god, it's so
great you're doing this,
"I wish I had the guts to do this."
If I had a nickel for every
time I heard that from somebody.
- A lot of women still come
up to me and they're like,
"Oh, I love your hair, it's so beautiful,
"but I can't do that, it
won't look as good on me."
- I would like to see my hair grown,
and I wanted at first just to see it
so that I could look at it in front of me.
And when it got this
long, then people said,
"I think I really like that."
So I continued to let it grow
and I really enjoyed watching
the multiple colors come through,
so the race has been
how long can I get it?
And I can tell you that I have not had
this long hair since 1974.
- But I think it's also demonstrating
that gray is actually
color in and of itself.
It's not the absence of anything...
- It's just a different color.
- And I think there's
a spectrum, it's just a different color.
- So is there a right way to go gray, then?
- [Reporter] More and more
women are saying goodbye to dye
and hello to their
natural silver hair color.
Celebrities like Jamie Lee
Curtis and Helen Mirren
were some of the first to go full silver,
but young girls like Pink and
Lady Gaga have followed suit.
(transition rumbles)
(chiming music)
- The trend, I find it fascinating.
I think the young Osbourne girl
was one of the ones I remember
was wearing it very well.
She also had in colors of plum
and the way she designed her hair,
it was always very attractive.
Lady Gaga, I think she's done a great way
of showing and sharing with
people how that hair will look
- I find it quite flattering
that they want to look like us,
those of us who are naturally gray.
But on the other hand,
very damaging to their hair
and it's a lot of upkeep and expense.
- All right Susie, we're ready for you.
- [Reporter] Susie Katz
can't wait to go gray.
In fact, she's "dyeing" to.
- [Marie] Okay here we go,
there's no turning back now.
- [Reporter] The 29-year-old is one of
a growing number of young women and men
who are asking professionals
like Marie Robinson
to color their locks
various shades of gray.
- How often are you
doing this in your salon?
- I would say that we're averaging
probably three to four clients a week,
which I think is a lot for something
that's such an unusual and unique look.
- [Reporter] 24-year-old Jean Salvador
has been gray for the past four months.
- I come back to do
this about once a month.
- [Reporter] Colorist Lucille Javier
must bleach the hair to a pale yellow
then apply the gray tint.
- The transformation process is about
an eight to nine hour job.
- [Reporter] The average
cost is about $700,
but that can vary depending
on your hair and the salon.
After an entire day in the chair,
Susie loves her new look.
- I feel like a super chic older lady.
- I think what it actually says
is that they have seen enough of us women
with natural silver hair that look good
and healthy and happy and confident
that they think oh wow, I wanna try that.
- Some of them look good if
they wanna spend the money,
but I think they should
wait 'til they earn it.
- Well, women and men
who are naturally going gray,
they're embracing it
more because of this trend.
One of the colorists that I
spoke to, Marie Robinson,
she said that older people are noticing
this trend in younger
women and really embracing it
'cause it can be quite beautiful.
Because it's a lighter shade, they say
that gray is the new blonde.
It sort of has a brightening,
softening effect on a lot of people.
- A lot of people think
that I am having it done,
and they are very, very surprised
when I tell them that it's my hair.
And they're like "No, it's not."
Yes, it's my hair.
And at that point, I think I feel
a little bit of pride that I can have
someone think that it's
professionally done
when it's just me. (laughs)
- She was complimenting me on my hair
and thought I had it done.
- I get stopped out on the streets,
department stores, coffee houses.
They're always asking me,
"What color did you put in your hair?
"Oh, that's such a great cut."
I'm like, okay, do you
really wanna know the truth?
The truth is there's no color. (laughs)
It's my natural.
- My hair was up and just
the beginning was white
and people would ask me,
"How did you get that,
how did you do that?
"Who's your hairdresser?
"How do I get that look?"
And I said, "Well, nature.
"I just let it grow."
- I was recently in my cousin's wedding
and I got this really wild hairstyle
and I got so many compliments
'cause they're like, "Is that real?
(Victoria laughs)
"Did you do that just for the wedding?"
'Cause the accents to the
dresses were all silver.
So they were like, "Did you
get that done professionally?"
I'm like, "Well, the hairstyle yes,
"but the hair is au naturel."
- I realized this is who I am.
I wish I had done it back in my 30s
when I first noticed it, quite honestly.
- The only regret is
I didn't do it sooner.
I wish that I had.
- But I feel great now and it's something
that I wish I had done sooner.
- I wanna make this for my granddaughters.
I have a three year old
and I have a five year old,
and also for my grandsons,
because they're ten and six
and I don't want them to think
a woman is defined by
the color of her hair,
she's not beautiful because
she's older and she has gray hair.
I want them to realize women are beautiful
no matter what age they are,
and I want my granddaughters to realize
when they see that first
strand of silver hair,
it's not the end, it's only the beginning
of such a beautiful journey.
It's what you make of it and you can't
let the outside world or
society or even Hollywood
determine whether you're good enough
because you have gray hair.
Gray hair is a given and I wear
this like a badge of honor.
I am so blessed to be here and I'm proud
and I've earned the right to walk around
and be proud that I have my gray hair.
- A 12 or 13-year-old girl,
she actually came up to me
and told me that she liked my hair,
so I was like, "That's
really sweet of you."
So I always appreciate when
a young person likes my hair
because it's always nice.
- My 13-year-old has
gotten her first strand
and she's very excited about it.
She's looking forward to it.
My 16-year-old doesn't have any,
and my 28-year-old, she
is getting hers come in,
and she calls them her little
glitter streaks on her hair. (laughs)
- Now that I have
embraced my natural look,
I would love to be able to be part
of empowering young women
to just accept themselves
the way they are,
to kind of resist the culture
that we must do all these things
to create kind of a false
sense of who we are.
(transition chimes)
- Okay my lovelies, now the fun begins.
You have gone through the transition
and you have weathered
the storms, so to speak,
and now you are getting more compliments
than you have ever received
in your entire life about your hair,
and it's rather interesting because
all of the heartache that we went through
to get to the point of
being fully transitioned
is met with such applause
and such adulation and admiration,
it's amazing that anyone would have
anything negative to say ever about it
once you are fully
transitioned, as you will see.
- When you do embrace it,
there's something that feels
really good about that.
You know...
There's something that just feels good,
like you're being real,
you're being authentic.
- This has made me feel very powerful
and I can do anything.
- I really felt powerful because
I was making a choice and kind
of going against the grain
because people don't really like you
to go against the grain, right?
- My hair says I'm powerful,
original, and independent.
- The next day I went to my hairstylist
and I told him I want it all chopped off.
And when I took my first
look in the mirror,
for me, it was one of the
most freeing experiences
to just be me, it was great.
- For me, cutting my hair
short makes me feel free,
and going gray, especially all of the ones
we did all day say the keyword is freedom.
- Freedom.
They're like, "Freedom!"
- Don't listen to other people.
If it's what you want, just do it.
- I wanna be who I am, I wanna be real,
I wanna be genuine, I wanna be authentic,
and I wanna be free!
- It just makes me feel free and freer
for something that I don't have to
deal with every few weeks.
- And I wanted the freedom,
and that's what I have now.
I feel very free to be
myself with my hair as-is.
- I went through my phases of purple hair
and blonde, brunette,
redhead, you name it.
But honestly, none of them felt like me
the way that this does.
- So for me, it's about reinvention,
it's about authenticity.
- This is not about them, this is about me
and I've never been happier.
- It is an amazing journey in itself,
and it's liberating,
that's my word for that.
It is so liberating not to have any
products or chemicals on my head
and I don't know where else they go.
- I have loved every minute
of not dyeing my hair
in the past 14 weeks.
I have felt liberated like I
can't even begin to tell you.
My mind doesn't even think about,
oh, maybe I need to dye my hair,
or I'm going to this social occasion,
how far in will I be in my dye job,
will my roots be showing?
I mean all of that is...
- [Victoria] Which is everything
you thought about before.
- Yeah, totally, and it's poof, gone.
Not having to give that a
thought is fan-fucking-tastic.
- [Victoria] (laughs) I love it.
- It is awesome, and I mean that alone
gives me life that I'm like,
I can make it through this.
- [Victoria] Right.
- I've always caved in
to the general consensus,
what you should do, what you shouldn't do,
and I'm feeling a lot freer now.
- Like today, I'm coming here today
and I have to tell you,
I would've thought about,
well, when am I gonna color my hair,
is it gonna last by the time I get here,
is it gonna peek through?
Because my hair grows really fast.
So I would have to think
about all of that stress,
but I didn't have to
think about any of that,
which was awesome and I loved it.
- [Reporter] 51-year-old Dana Guerrero
wanted to follow the silver movement
and came to Massey for help.
- It'll definitely take a little while
for me to get used to
it, I'm anticipating that
because I think it'll
be a little radical today.
But I'm open to the experience.
- [Reporter] After a
few hours in the chair,
Dana is ready to see her transformation.
- Dana?
- Yes?
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready.
- I'm gonna turn you around.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- Oh holy, oh my gosh.
- (laughs) No swearing.
- I know! (laughs)
Oh my goodness.
- Honestly.
- I don't even know who this is.
I don't know what to think.
I mean, it's beautiful, I love it.
It's such a change that I can't speak now.
I mean, I never am at a loss for words.
- [Reporter] Would you do
it again if you had to?
- Oh, totally.
There's something real deep going on here.
Yeah.
It's like a, I don't know?
(empowering music)
Gray Is The New Blonde means to me joy,
effervescence, power, life, energy,
and an upward trajectory 'til
we dive off into infinity.
- I have an inner confidence right now
and I'm not even fully gray yet.
I mean, 'cause this takes strength.
To walk through life like this right now,
you need to be a badass
and that's how I feel.
- It is a movement, it's a declaration
of a stage, not an age.
It moves me to be a
part of this beautiful,
beautiful time of life where women
are just standing up for who they are,
and who knew that it
would start with our hair?
- Don't allow anyone to ever make you
feel terrible about
yourself, ever, ever, ever,
because you are enough,
it's true, you are enough.
- I love the fact that there's
this stuff growing right out of your head
that just shouts to the world,
"I am the only one like this.
"There is nobody else like me."
And I think that's wonderful.
- I remember the first I was
in Downtown Houston on the steps,
and this particular guy
said, "That's God's glory."
And I turned around and
looked, I said, "Sir, what?"
And he said, "You ma'am,
that beautiful hair of yours,
"that beautiful gray and
silver hair of yours,
"that's God's glory," and he
said, "Just makes you shine."
- Gray used to represent
giving up or aging,
not being interested in anything current,
but now it's more of an act of rebellion.
- What happens to you while
you're going through your transition
is you discover really who
you are and what you wanna be.
- I think that it's about
owning our inner power
and not letting other people or media
tell us who we have to look like
or what we have to be like.
- Now is the perfect
time to be who you are,
be gray, just do whatever you wanna do,
look the way you wanna look.
- The way things are going now
where more women are
growing their hair out,
I think that's quite a
statement about our times.
I think it's amazing.
- I had a young man once tell me
I looked like a superhero
to him because of my hair.
- Every single silver-haired woman
is going to have a different
color of gray and silver.
No two will ever be the same.
It is you, your individual you.
And the problem with
when you color your hair,
50,000 other people
are using that product,
number 118 or whatever
the color you choose,
and every single one of you
have the same hair color.
There is no individuality there.
- And I'm happy where I am now,
and almost wish it was
even grayer than it is.
- Silver gray is beautiful,
and for all of y'all that are thinking,
oh, how are people gonna view me,
what's more important is how do you feel?
How do you view yourself?
And just if you feel good, then yeah,
you're gonna project that
and that's how everyone
is going to see you
and you're gonna get positive feedback.
- It's a whole new me with a
whole new empowered outlook.
- Most of the time I would think
of my grandparents when I saw gray hair,
but the truth was it was just an ideology
of most of us thinking only
grandparents have gray hair.
Many, many young people have gray hair.
- Once I got past I guess
the challenging part
where it was probably halfway grown out,
I just embraced it
and that's kinda how I feel about it.
I was just gonna embrace
it and hold my head high.
- I think it's amazing,
I think it's liberating,
I think it's about time there was a focus
on the forgotten woman.
- 'Cause I need to be the real me,
and so now I feel very settled in it.
I have been silver for
a solid six years now
and have no plans of even
putting a bit of color in it.
- You can go out in the
sunlight with a mirror
and look at your gray hair,
your natural gray hair,
and see how shiny it is.
But if it's either dyed
or bleached or whatever,
when you compare that,
there's not as much shine.
- A lot of young people
are dyeing their hair
to be gray or silver or
some kind of tone of gray,
and it's worked out in my benefit
because people look at me and they think,
oh, she's on trend, right?
She's hip, she's fashionable.
But really I was born this way. (laughs)
(Victoria laughing)
I didn't have to pay any
extra money for this.
- And I dedicate this film
to all my gorgeous gray
girlfriends around the world.
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work it over to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight
to the, to the top ♪
♪ Going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work our way to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're gonna work our way to the top ♪
♪ We're going up straight to the top ♪
♪ We're going dancing on
the top of the world ♪