Grand Prix (2022) - full transcript
Man, what is this? A sewer rat?
Fuck me.
Shit.
Fucking pooch.
GRAND PRIX
-I adjusted the brakes and the centre.
-What?
I adjusted the centre for balance.
Here is the shift diagram.
So you can do a round under three minutes.
I use my intuition,
not some idiotic diagrams.
Could you stop yelling?
-So, did you end up last?
-Give me a break!
Páťa, get out of there!
Cootchie-cootchie-coo!
-Roman...
-What? I can never speed up when sober.
Hi.
Hi there!
Hi, man! I've been looking for you.
-Hiya, Iveta, darling.
-Hi.
I got a cool car for you to dissect.
-Not now, man!
Gotcha.
Let it run!
-The start-up is not for an hour.
-I said let it run.
-There's not enough petrol.
-How come? -I brought just two cans.
-Just like Iveta wanted.
-A third can wouldn't fit in the car.
If the engine dies on me
I'll never start it again.
Got a hose?
-Stop waving that thing around!
-Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Hey.
-Let me create a diversion.
-Sure. Yeah.
Hi. Would you have a smoke for me?
-Sure.
-Thanks. It's stuck.
-Thanks. -You're welcome.
-And a light. -That too? Hang on.
-A lighter.
-Here you go.
-Oops!
-Hey! What's wrong with you?
Sorry. Where is it?
-Great. How will you get it back?
-I will. Come on, let's...
Let's look for it together.
We've got it! We've got it!
Come on, take it. Hurry up.
Let's go!
Wait for me!
Downshift, just downshift.
Get in the car.
-Hey, where do you think you're going?
-You're drunk, I'm driving.
No way. I'm not sitting in a car
with a chick behind the wheel.
-Get in there.
-Mum, don't.
You overdid the start.
I wrote it all down. You should have
downshifted before the first bend.
Mate, he's gonna chuck you out for real.
-Get out.
-Roman!
-What's up?
-Hey!
-What's up, boss?
-Well, what's up? -It's fine, fine.
I'm fine. I'm good.
Good! Everything's just fine.
Do you have a cigarette?
Every month you add
3 dl of 5W40 synthetic oil.
Gee, look at that puppy.
What a cutie pie.
I wrote it down for you.
Use the petrol station
in the south district.
The one in the east dilutes.
Give your car 10 minutes every day
and it will last 10 years longer.
Hey, Emil, you were on a TV contest?
-And you won some tickets?
-Contests are there to be won.
Man, Formula One?
-When are you two going?
-Excuse me? -You and Roman. When?
Oh, he doesn't know yet?
-Hi.
-Hi! -Hi, Iveta.
Please, keep it to yourself.
Hey! Wait a minute!
If you jab this into your brother's eye
he'll die, mate! What's got into you?
-You left your cap here.
-I've brought you mail and lunch.
How about my car magazine?
Sorry, I forgot that one.
Wait a second.
How is Roman?
Do you ride a bike now, Mr Holeček?
No, it's...
It was... I found it
lying by the train station.
Someone must have borrowed it
from someone. To catch a train.
Or something like that.
These are the buggy parts.
I'll help you load them in your car.
Honey, I'll just tell him
to pick them up himself. Bye.
Bye!
-Get in the car.
-I'm not going. Why?
I said get in the car! Now.
He threw you out again. Didn't he?
Mr Holeček...
Would you like to come
to the races with me?
Man, Emil, I'd love to.
But I couldn't care less about formulas.
Last week the contest question
for our TV audience was:
Which Volga model got rid
of designer Arlamov's rearing stag
which posed a danger for pedestrians
in potential collisions?
-Fucking bullshit.
Now let me welcome another guest
in our studio, Emil Štědrý from Cvikov.
-Welcome. -Hello.
-What is your answer?
It was the Gaz 21 Volga Baleen.
The answer is correct.
And thanks to this correct answer
you have just won two tickets
to Formula One race in Barcelona.
So your dim-witted cousin
is going to see Formula One?
Fuck me sideways. But the retards
are society-protected, man
-and we must bust our asses for them.
-He's no retard. -He's a fag.
The same thing.
What do you want?
Demolition, man!
Relax, relax, relax. Jesus!
Oh Christ. Boys, come help me out
with the groceries! And you stay here.
-Here.
-Hi. You're not helping me? -I can't.
Boys, come here!
Careful with the catalytic converter.
It's the money maker, man. I got a buyer.
Gaz fucking Baleen, man.
You really think you can do that?
I've always wondered, man.
Where are the pussies?
A calendar. With wheels and tits.
Where is it?
Congrats.
You won the quiz, right?
So congratulations.
Who's coming with you?
You won two tickets, right?
So who's coming with you?
The decision is solely mine.
You're not going anywhere.
The furthest you've been is Nová Paka.
Bullshit.
Why is it you who gets
fucking tickets to Grand Prix?
Why you?
Why you and not... Not me?
Because I entered for the contest?
Do you know how many times
I entered for some contest?
Do you know how many times
in my life I entered for a contest?
Many times!
And have I ever won? Huh?
You have probably never
given the correct answer.
Did you want to come with me?
You bet I could go with you.
Because it was me
who taught you everything about cars.
-That's disputable.
-Dispute to your heart's content.
I guess you forgot
we fell out.
-Say sorry.
-Sorry. -No. Say...
Roman, I'm sorry
I said you cannot shift gears.
Shit, he won't say it!
He makes me so upset
-and doesn't even apologize!
-Roman, I'm sorry
I said
you cannot shift gears.
Emil, man.
Grand Prix is a dream come true!
You bet I'm coming with you!
This is a precise travel itinerary.
For fuck's sake!
Hello.
There are people here too, eh?
-So I'm being careful, eh?
-That would be a suicide.
Speak up. Because my contact is weak.
Every dumbass knows the catalyst
converter is the most expensive part. Hi.
Wait, I have an extra SIM card,
charged for 300. A blowjob?
-Sure.
-Come on. I'm listening.
No, I wasn't talking to you.
We'll discuss this later.
It's my business. Cool. Bye.
Bye.
Unbelievable, they don't give a shit.
Thieves all around and no one bothers
to lock the fucking door. Come on.
What a fucking mess.
Right, get the job done.
Come on. Go for him.
-Dude.
-What? Don't mind that. Come on.
-Who's that?
-Dunno.
Fuck me!
Where are you off to, you ginger cunt?
It's good
you've patched things up with Emil.
Or are you just
taking advantage of his kindness?
Oh, please.
I'll feel much better when you travel
with Emil and not that prick Stephan.
-I just remembered I'll need the car!
-What for?
I'm not driving our kids
to school in those boneshakers!
Thank you.
What boneshakers? She's a boneshaker!
Driving her ass in a fucking Honda.
What's this?
Fucking tyres.
Mind your step now.
What are you staring at?
You stole my car!
Ouch! Fuck.
I'll do anything. Anything!
You want me to steal for you?
Or kill? No problem, I'll kill for you!
-Where is my car?
-The car is no more, sir.
What did you expect? Only an idiot
leaves an unlocked car by the mall...
-Where is the car?
-It's cut into pieces!
-Cut into pieces!
-Where?
-CashBazar. Outside the town.
-Has he sold the tyres?
What tyres? No, no!
I don't know! I don't! I swear!
Uncle, should we go to the car lot?
Make sure you don't get violent.
What have I just told you?
You never listen.
Take it away.
-Get in there.
-Don't push me.
Holy cunt!
Oh, teeth.
Did you know it's on commission?
-This car is not yours.
-Let me handle it, ok?
Martens have eaten the wires
so be careful when charging your phone.
How can I help you?
Have you got these tyres?
You mean Dunlop?
No, I don't. No.
-Where the fuck are they?
-Why do you care? Are you a vatman?
Get the fuck out of here.
What are you doing, man?
Get out of here.
No Polish cunts will make me
take the tyres off the car.
I've just put them on.
-Bye.
-Bye. -Bye.
Now go to sleep, ok?
That is such an awful cap.
Can't you wear something decent?
-Have you got money?
-Yep.
Give me some, I'm broke.
Cheers.
Roman?
I borrowed this from the car lot. Get in.
Come on.
And off we go to see the race.
The tyres are not balanced.
Next stop, Amberg petrol station,
then exit E50
Heilbronn, Mainz, Koblenz.
Stop at Nürburgring.
A tour of the historic site.
What are you babbling about?
I want to see Nürburgring.
After visiting the Nürburgring site
we continue to Luxemburg, Metz,
Reims, Paris, Le Mans.
We stop there.
A tour of the racing circuit.
How about visiting fucking Monza?
What do you think you'll get
to see there? Let me tell you.
A tarmac.
A fucking tarmac in the middle of fields.
That's what you'll get to see there.
If you want to take a straight route
we must recalculate the time schedule
and in that case
we didn't have to set off so early.
-What do you mean early?
-The plan contained optional stops
intended for visiting racing circuits.
Yesterday I gave you the copy to read.
Wait, so we could have slept in?
Emil? I could have slept in?
Fine.
Let's go see a tarmac in fields.
Better than being stuck at home.
Have you planned any brothels too?
Whores with tits and stuff. You know?
I'll pick a bride for you.
-What? That's what proper families do.
-I don't want you to.
But I'd like to discuss the way
we share certain financial costs.
-The whore's on me.
-Namely: petrol,
tolls and motel accommodations.
We're both freelancers,
we'll add it to our expenses, mate.
-Are you going to smoke here?
-No.
The one on your side is not working.
Martens have eaten the wires.
Emil.
Emil! Calm down.
For fuck's sake, Emil, give me a break
with those fits! Calm the hell down!
I'm fucking screwed here.
This is gonna be one hell of a drive.
-How about hello? Where is your daddy?
-Gone.
-And your mummy?
-Asleep.
So my Volkswagen got sold?
-The green van?
-Dad drove it away.
-Where to?
-To Grand Prix.
-Where is that?
-At Barcelona.
Bye.
Right.
Is that all you do here?
I can't do anything more
until warrant officer arrives.
Just sign here, please.
And here is a copy for you.
Thank you.
I am not leaving.
I'll wait here for some information
about my lost automobile.
I think it was a criminal offence.
Yes, it is in your statement.
The car has a special emotional value.
Once I drove it to Peenemünde.
Anyway.
This morning I bought
some grocery and here...
A tablet with an Android OS.
A senior citizen with a bag
full of food and a functional tablet
can last in one place
for a very, very long time.
If you plan on staying for a long time
could you stay in the hallway?
Where is he?
He's disappeared.
Boss, what was in the tyres?
Your salary. Your salary.
Everything.
Go back to the used car lot.
And I was planning to buy a new tractor.
I must buy some puffs.
We'll buy some puffs.
Go on, then. Don't be scared.
I'll wait for you over there.
Go get the puffs.
Hey!
Open the door for me!
Hi!
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-I totally fell asleep in there.
Where... How the fuck did you get
into this fucking car, man?
-I just got in and fell asleep. -When?
-When the Poles were pissing you off.
-What is wrong with your mug?
-Where? -Did they do this to you?
Whatever, those are just details.
But there's one thing though.
Haven't you seen my teeth?
Hello, welcome.
-The puffs.
-Puffs? Very well.
Stop staring and piss off! Go!
Shit.
I STILL LUVE YOU
-IT SPELLS LOVE
-We gotta go home now.
-We're going home, I have a hot tip!
-I'm going to Grand Prix, you dumbass!
-Are we in Reich?
-Yep. -We're fucked.
We're fucking fucked.
-Are these the tyres from the Touareg?
-What? -Are they, or not?
Yeah, from the one you brought last time.
A change of plan. I'm coming with you.
-Like shit you are!
-Let go! -No fucking way!
-Emil will never approve!
-Let go, I'm coming with you!
-Well?
-I got the puffs. -You did, didn't you?
Let's go.
The fan belt.
Relax.
Ouch! Ouch.
Shit. I bit my fucking tongue.
What the fuck are you doing here, man?
Emil!
Emil, wait!
-Hello.
-Hello.
Good morning.
-Has anyone claimed the bike?
-No.
-And what is it in the hallway?
-Mr Nováček, reporting a car theft.
-Have you taken down his statement?
-Yes. -So why is he still sitting there?
-Will anyone attend to me?
-Could you wait outside, please?
Bílková, I had a really bad night.
Partying hard with firemen.
I feel really queasy.
Get rid of him for me.
Fuck, too much sugar.
You mean you entrust me with the case?
I don't know if I'm entrusting you
but I'm not dealing with an issue
of an agile senior. That guy
will swallow up the whole day!
What are you staring at?
Get rid of him for me!
Answ... Boys, answer the door!
You're acting like a baby, Emil.
I'm not stuck here for another hour!
I'm not travelling with him!
Once you brought him to my garage
and five litres of 46161 hydraulic oil
disappeared. He's a thief!
-Shut your twat, you're mental!
-I have not been officially diagnosed!
Fag!
We had a deal
it would be just the two of us.
Let's go. Just the two of us.
Are you fucking nuts?
You know what? Get off the car.
-I'm going with Emil.
-No, I've been there for you. -Bullshit.
Do you know what this is?
Well, do you?
-Yeah, I know!
-What tattoo did they want to give you?
What almost happened to you in the shower?
-And who saved you? Me!
-Well, go and sort it out! -How?
I don't know, just fucking
go there and sort it out! Now!
This shit is just too much. I'm gonna
go fucking crazy! Fuck this shit!
He's not available.
My car was parked right here.
Klimek fancies young mummies.
Boo!
Where are the tyres?
He put them on another car
and drove off to Barcelona.
Don't breathe a word,
or we'll burn down your house
and kill your kids.
See?
-Those are my tyres over there.
-Oh. Okay.
-Are you looking for anything?
-Yes. My car.
Man, his skull must be real hollow.
I said let's make a deal,
as they say in English, right?
Let's talk about what you want
to let me go with you.
Do you know what he said?
He said he wants the cap.
-What does he want?
-The cap you're wearing.
He must be kidding or something.
Are you that fucked up? Is he nuts?
-I'm totally out of the loop.
-Emil?
-Jesus, Roman, give him the shabby lid.
-A lid?
A lid?
Loprais won his first Dakar race with it!
It's still dusted with Sahara sand,
it's a fucking relic, dude!
And you know it, Emil. You know
the value this cap has for me!
That's why you want it! Forget it!
Man, such a cool deal makes me look
like a retard. I'm at my wits' end.
You idiot. This is a personal gift
from Loprais himself! Get it?
You think I'm gonna hand it over to him?
Where is Vlasta Holeček?
Mr Holeček entrusted the case with me.
Ladies, I think it is necessary to get
the interrogation back on the right track.
-What interrogation?
-We are here for theft. -What theft?
Volkswagen Multivan, green metallic
paint. All that is left are the tyres.
-My husband is no thief.
-Neither is uncle Emil. Ouch!
So there were more people in the car?
-Surname, please.
-Štědrý. -Is he the boy
who is so into cars?
The mentally retarded one?
He's not retarded,
just a little different.
-That's what people say.
-People also say you're an idiot.
Can you give us your husband's
phone number so we can call him?
Don't you have the number, Mr Nováček?
-I do.
-Why didn't you call him right away?
-By all means, I can call him.
-No use. He's not available.
I think Mrs Kudrnová is right.
This is no theft. It's an unreported loan.
-Is that some new legal term?
-I don't know. -So why do you use it?
Why didn't you call him yourself?
Did you really have to go to the police?
That man just took my car
and left. And it is a theft.
The warrant officer says we should use
the common sense in the first place.
-This is no theft, counting blindly...
-It is all adding up perfectly to me.
-What is adding up?
-Links, contacts, camaraderie.
-You're exaggerating.
-I am not! This citizen feels sick!
-I'm trying to help you here.
-Go on, find my car.
It was over there but not anymore.
Once I drove it to Peenemünde!
Relax, matey.
-Maybe he'll give it back to you.
-Hold the phone! -I've just unplugged it.
-Stop stressing me out.
-Just do it.
-Or we'll just take it ourselves.
-He'll bite you.
Man, Sweetie, Sweetie is calling.
Sweetie is calling!
Give it to me now!
-What's up?
-I'll kick your reddish mug, you idiot,
and then I'll divorce you!
You leave and I get paid a visit
-by some Polish thieves?!
-Calm down. By whom?
Ask your friend Stephan,
that dickhead who stole their car!
And you're even bigger idiot
for taking the car to pieces!
-No idea what you're talking about.
-I ain't no fucking dimwit!
Could you stop shrieking for a bit?
-My head is about to burst.
-They'll burn our house down! -Who?
-The Poles! -Poles often say that.
-And then the old grump arrived.
-Who? -Nováček!
-What did he want? -You moron!
-You drove off in his car. He noticed!
-No kidding.
I swear to you, Roman,
I'll divorce you! I swear to God!
Now wait a minute!
-You can't... I'm the one to be upset!
-Why?
Because you say I'm an idiot!
-You have no right to be so mean!
-You're such a stuck-up fop, Roman.
You're such a fucked-up thickhead!
You fucking get your ass out of here,
you leave me here with the kids
and the car lot and all your fuck-ups
and I have to deal with that shit
while you're chatting up
whores on parking lots, you fucker!
I'll call that old grump, now shut up.
-You bet you will! Right now, Roman!
-We're entering a tunnel.
-There is no tunnel. -Sorry, bye!
-Don't you dare hang up on me!
I hate when you do that, Roman!
-Who did you steal the fucking car from?
-Huh?
Iveta has been harassed by some
Polish swines. Whose car was it?
-You know what I'm talking about?
-No. -Out with it, you moron!
-Sheesh, they're my mates. It's cool.
-Mates? You said they're dumb.
Maybe they're a bit dumb
but otherwise, they're totally cool.
Do you owe them money?
Yep. I owe them money.
Jesus, Roman, obviously I'm sorry
I've dragged you into all this shit.
You're calling them right now
-to leave me and my family out of it.
-I can't. I lost my phone, didn't I?
Use mine.
I can't remember the number, can I?
You never forget your creditor's number!
-That's obviously true, isn't it?
-No more bullshit! -There was none!
-Hello?
-Hi, guy lady. This is Stephan.
-Stephan?
-Yes, everything have under control.
Everything be fine.
Yes, will be fucking awesome.
There won't be hel.
There won't be hel. Could be.
-What is this gibberish?
-Well then, yeah, yeah. Bye.
-And it's all fine. -Is it?
-Sure. -Do you swear?
I swear on my tattoo.
Don't say you can't hold on for one week.
Sorry but a week is too much.
I'll call you tomorrow,
send you a deposit
-and soon you'll be rid of it.
-Deposit is ok. But two days at most.
-Not a day more.
-Hang on.
-Yes?
-Cops are hanging around here.
Hang on, wait. Wait.
Right. Can we hear each other?
That guy put the tyres on another car
and drove off to Barcelona.
Shit.
Does he know what's in the tyres?
-No idea.
-Find them, for fuck's sake.
Last year's Lonato winner
of Rock category,
Roman Kudrna, won the bronze medal,
leaving behind names like this year's
German champion Rick Dreezen.
-Shit. -Where did you get this?
-It's Emil's scrapbook.
-He must be in love with you, dude.
-Give it to me. -Come on!
We're BFFs and I didn't know this?
How come you've turned into a loser?
Huh? What the fuck happened?
-He made a bet. -So what?
-He made a bet on his own loss.
-Is that a thing?
-He crashed on the third bend. -Boom!
You destroyed a car worth half a million.
And how much did you clear in the bet?
-After the sponsors found out?
-You got an honourable kick in your butts!
Right?
-What asshole told you to do that?
-Not me. -A friend.
That's your thing, Roman. You always
go in cahoots with these assholes.
Such an ace, such a fuck-up.
-He wasn't that much of an ace.
-It says "junior national champion".
So he must have been a bit good.
He treats cars bad,
he doesn't adhere to the diet,
he doesn't downshift in bends.
-Once he was pretty good.
-See? That's what I say.
Everyone is pretty good at something
but you must be aware of the fact
you're not the best. I was pretty good
at forging licence plates. But not
the best! And that's that, man.
So if you're not aware of that
you start doing stupid things.
-I'm not doing stupid things!
-You knocked up a 13-year-old.
Three months in jail is pretty stupid.
I know, I know.
You know what I always say?
Every cloud has a silver lining.
-What was the silver lining there?
-Meeting your best friend in jail.
And I'm still here.
You can fucking lean on me.
You can trust me.
Good luck charm.
Show us what you got there.
Boom, dude.
It looks like Hot Wheels.
-He almost had a mermaid there.
-Why? -Because he fucks children.
It says Štědrý's garage has concluded
a contract with the municipal police
to maintain the police car park.
-There you go. -What?
-A bit of digging does the job.
But what does it have to do
with Mr Kudrna driving your car to Spain?
Only the smartest ones
can connect the dots.
My gang is your gang,
you scratch my back,
I scratch yours.
Well, and there goes a plot.
I just figured
that ever since I came to this place
I haven't even looked around.
Wow.
Is this where you lock them up?
Shooting up junk in front
of a kindergarten, Jindra?
-There was no one but kids. Hi.
-Your ID. -Sure.
So he's here again?
Can I ask you a question, sir?
Did you conclude a contract
for maintenance of the car park
-with Mr Emil Štědrý?
-If the car park means our only car
-then yes, I did.
-Štědrý left for Spain with Mr Kudrna.
-So what?
-They're driving my car.
Boss, could you make me some coffee?
Mr Nováček's car was in Mr Kudrna's lot
-and Kudrna and Štědrý drove it off.
-And that is a theft. -Mr Nováček.
If your car is on sale or return
Mr Kudrna is responsible for it.
And if the vehicle was stolen
he should be the one to report it.
Do not dare to raise your voice at me!
-I am absolutely calm.
-Yeah, senior. Boss is cool as a breeze.
I want you to put my car
on the INTERPOL stolen vehicle database.
-Sugar? -What?
-No, you know I have a diabetes.
Thanks, boss.
We know our people, Bílková.
We bullied Kudrna at elementary school,
Emil was a member
of my junior engineers club
-and me and Jindra dated once.
-Did we? I can't remember!
Just like everything
that happened before your first needle.
Hey, you're talking rubbish and
there's a gang of Poles in the streets!
-A Polish gang?
-Yep. They beat Stephan yesterday.
What the hell are you talking about?
Cross my heart and switch to methadone!
I went to his place to give him a blowjob
and two Poles showed up. Stephan got
so scared his false teeth almost fell out.
Stub it out! Now!
-Sure.
-Hang on. This Mr Stephan...
-Does he wear a dental prothesis?
-Sure! He wears these three teeth.
On a wire. One tooth is golden.
But it's just a fool's gold.
-A fool's gold?
-It gives him polyps.
Oh, and today? They called me
from an unknown number.
I mean he called. And like...
He was speaking Polish
and I couldn't understand a word.
-Look it up yourself.
-Well, fine but...
-What is this?
-Wait a second.
Yup, this could be it.
Where did you find it, Mr Nováček?
In the used car lot.
Boss, could I stay overnight?
My place is lice-infested.
Sure, you can.
But first you'll stub the ciggie out,
immediately! Jindřiška!
For fuck's sake! No smoking area!
Le Mans. A tour of the circuit
and the historic museum.
-And the place where Dumbreck crashed.
-No, museum first. -Dumbreck first.
-Who is Drumback?
-A racer. -Yeah, right.
-Now turn to the right. Now.
-Now? -Now!
-Yes.
-No! -Over there.
-No, not yet.
-Sheesh, do we keep circling like idiots?
Now to the r... Now to the right, right?
Yeah, let's do 16 circles here.
No, here.
Where did Dumbreck go off the road?
A bit further down the road.
This is Indianapolis.
It was here, wasn't it?
Dude, this place looks
a bit like Chomutov, eh?
It was somewhere in that area, right?
-I read that the Mercedes miscounted...
-Shush, shush, shush.
Don't spoil the moment.
Emil, let me tell you...
This is pretty powerful. Honestly.
That's where he landed.
-Those bent trees. It was him, right?
-Right.
-Take a picture of me.
-Sure.
-Come on. -What the fuck?
-Come on! -What the fuck are you doing?
-I'm getting in... -Are you nuts?
-You want me to stab a knife on me?
-Why the fuck are you cutting it?
-Stop it! I'm trying to get in.
Right. Right.
Come on. Come on.
There's more.
-Yes! Yes! Right. Mine.
-What is this?
Ho! Ho! Step away, you fags,
or I'll stab both of ya!
-Have you gone mad?
-Shut up!
Emil!
Emil, where are you going?
-Come here.
-Screw him, let's grab a bite. Come on.
I'm a little disappointed. I expected
to find meth in there. Oh well.
We'll cut up all the tyres and see.
Are you nuts? No more cutting.
-I'm fucking starving.
-It's dirty money. -Oh, come on!
They're just a bunch of Polish rookies.
-Probably not complete idiots.
-Do you see what's at stake here?
No more freezing on parking lots,
waiting for randomly unlocked cars.
-We'll go to fucking jail, man!
-I spend my Christmases there anyway.
-But I don't and I don't want to.
-Stop whispering like an idiot.
-I'm not whispering.
-No one understands you here!
-Relax, there's no way they can catch us.
-They were harassing Iveta, you moron.
-They were at my home.
-But they didn't stab her, right?
They didn't poke out her eye. The kids
are fine. Relax, they're just pricks.
-You're a prick.
-Hey, easy.
Easy!
It's me that has been making
your living. Not the wrecks in your yard.
Ok? These honest hands!
-They've been bringing you dough!
-Shush. -Show a little respect, ok?
I'll have you, my beauty! I'll cover
you with honey and lick you all over.
She doesn't understand a word.
Hold on, pussycat. Hold on.
Stop now, ok? Stop now. Check this.
-I'll tie you to a bed, you French whore!
-Stephan!
No worries. Look.
-What are you doing?
-You.
Mwah? Oui.
Pick - what - I - eat.
Yes, you can. You can.
You can do anything,
you cute little thingie.
Nichts. Nichts.
-Ass like a mule. -You're such a dick!
-Why are you crumpling it up, man?
-This is the beginning of a new life.
-I don't want a fucking new life!
Really? You like your old life? Do you?
-I don't, man. I don't but...
-See? Shut up then!
-You're such a prick.
-Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Ah, nice little water.
Nice little water, a nice little glass.
Nice little cutleries.
Hi!
Hello.
Is everything ok?
Thanks. 26 missed calls, 12 messages.
Are you married?
-I'm single.
-But you've been in relationships?
Yes, been there done that.
You're always so cheerful.
Why can't Roman be this cheerful?
I'm not always cheerful.
But you want a family, right?
I thought I'd get myself a dog.
-Do you happen to have any money?
-Excuse me?
All Roman left me was a hundred.
Five hundred is fine.
Listen.
When was the last time
Stephan brought some stolen car here?
I'm no snitch. I'll rat
on Stephan but on Roman? Never.
Stephan is with Roman now.
-How do you know? -He called Jindra.
-You can't trust that junkie, Mr Holeček.
He called her from Roman's phone, Iveta.
Scania Streamline V8 580 horse power.
Renault T,
480 hp.
He's a thief.
He is, yeah.
And what am I to do?
He stole five litres
of 46161 hydraulic oil from me.
Emil, quit carping at that.
Throw him out. Tomorrow I want
to make it to the first time practice.
You'll make it.
Ew, this place fucking stinks.
Has a cat died here?
What?
Jean-Paul? I don't get a shit
of what you say. Man, what a rump.
Careful with the teeth.
Come on.
But just a little nibble. Just a nibble.
What? Are you...? Fucking nuts?
You can't... When it's so sensitive,
you can't ravage it like that, you crank!
Holy shit. Holy shit!
Jesus, mama! Mama!
Mum! Mum, this is incredible. Mum!
Mama! Yes!
Stop sticking your fingers
in my mouth, for God's sake.
Mum! Mum!
Mama! Mum! Yeah, yeah!
What's up?
It's my fucking cap. Give it to me.
Give me back my cap!
We should go. I want to make it
to the first time practice.
-Stephan.
-What? I'll kill them! -Wake up.
-Wait. -Come on!
-Stop yelling! I know, dude!
-Go sort it out.
-What? Fuck, my balls hurt.
-What's she doing there?
-Dunno, she has my jacket.
-What bullshit did you feed her?
-Me? I can't speak a word in French!
-So why is she standing by our car?
-She's going to work. -With a suitcase?
I guess so.
-Bonjour.
-Bonjour.
See? She's fucked off. Let's go.
-How did she get in there?
-I tried to reason with her.
-You've fucked this up, man.
-Me? He did... -Go sort it out.
-She can't come with us.
-Sure thing.
What's wrong with you?
Jean-Paul chucked you out?
I'm not going. Please, go home. What?
She wants me to get in.
Alright, I'm going in.
Grab that pink suitcase.
Can I finish? I can't.
Grab that pink suitcase
and piss off to where you came from!
Go home.
No two moment, right now!
Right now, no two moment!
Right now you'll piss off
to where you came from!
No way! No! I'm not a dumbass!
I'll sit here like a dick too.
So stubborn, man, she's so stubborn.
I'm not listening anymore. Blah blah!
Jiří, they have already got it.
The car description, registration number
-and the identity of all three men.
-There you go, Milena.
Once the youthful enthusiasm gets
together with a life experience,
-things start to work out.
-What the fuck is this gathering?
We have just issued an international
warrant for their arrest.
Sir?
Stephan Spilka spent half his life in jail
for thefts, possession of stolen goods,
-etcetera, etcetera.
-Bílková.
No one has confirmed he is with them.
He is.
-Kudrna is a sex offender.
-Jesus Christ!
That girl didn't look 13!
-And in the end he married her, right?
-Right.
They have three kids together,
this is a happy marriage!
Due to all his moving violations
he shouldn't be driving at all.
-See? One hand washes another.
-Get out of here!
And Štědrý's criminal record
showed us two physical assaults.
But you cannot handle this by an international warrant for arrest!
Cancel it immediately, Bílková!
Those boys went on a trip.
-To see F1 race!
-Emil Štědrý bites people.
Relax, Emil.
-We'll get rid of her somewhere.
-I want to see the time practice. -I know.
What?
What does "suppush" mean?
-"Swab" what?
-What is she doing with the window?
I don't know, I guess she's swabbing it!
-Tell her to stop swabbing!
-Or maybe she's calling me shabby?
That mad bitch is spraying me
with some stinky water. Fuck off!
-It makes me sick! -I feel dizzy!
-Me too. -Jesus, girl, you're too much!
I can't do this. I can't deal with you.
"Call me, or I'll kill meself."
Guys, I have an idea. We'll give her
a lot of beer to drink, it's diuretic,
-and she'll have to get out to piss.
-Emil, calm the hell down!
-This is unbearable!
-I'm not well. I'm not well.
What's wrong with you?
Don't brake so sharply! Ouch!
Madam, I'm asking you nicely.
Get out of here.
-Get the hell out of this car!
-Forget it, you can't make her move.
I'll go have a smoke. Get her out.
Why me? I can't deal with her, I can't.
It's all your fault. You spoil everything!
-Yeah?
-Is Stephan there with you? -What?
Stephan? How would Stephan get here?
-Roman, please, don't lie to me. Listen.
-What?
-Is there a woman with you?
-No.
-Shit, he's biting that whore!
-It's Stephan! -Oops, a tunnel.
-Roman, it was Stephan, don't lie!
-A tunnel, love.
Dude, good job, you stinky shit!
What's wrong with you,
you stinky shit? Who're you coming at?
Who are you coming at?
You want me to smother you?
Hey, you want me to knock you down too?
Emil, hop in the car.
Fuck you, you nitwit!
Fuck your new life, dude!
My poor little nose!
Wait! Roman!
For fuck's sake! Wait! Ouch.
Wait! You're not really
leaving me here like this, are you?
Fuck!
Fucking fuck!
Iveta!
Hi.
Listen...
I need to ask you a few more
things about those Poles.
What's wrong? Has anything happened?
Iveta...
Wait...
This is not how you
imagined the trip, right? Sorry.
Look, why don't we go back
and sort out the tyres?
No. We'll return them later. Not now.
What's wrong?
The fan belt.
Well?
I don't know.
Ring my fucking phone!
I don't have a phone. It gives me fits.
-What happened?
-Iveta is fucking around!
That treacherous bitch. What kind
of a person hides their age from others?
„Look at that Kudrna,
he's the one that fucks children!
What was it like in the jail, Roman?
Who were your cellmates?
Can you imagine? Kudrna's father-in-law
is younger than Kudrna himself!"
Had it not been for all this,
I would still race, win, make big cash.
-No! -What?
-You'd never be a professional racer.
What did you say?
What did you just say? You're right!
Because I don't love cars enough?
I don't treat cars like human beings?
-Because I can't downshift? -You can't.
-Just say it! -I just did!
See?
But at least you're being honest.
Thanks for that.
I must write her that she's a whore.
Can I ask you something?
-Didn't you ask Iveta how old she was?
-Why would I?
You never ask chicks these questions.
And she looked 20 with all that make-up.
-I would if I wanted an intercourse.
-That's you.
Come on, we need to fix the car.
Let's check the cables. Shit, man.
-Don't do that, you'll break it!
-Bullshit. It's not the fan belt.
The fuel filler hose fell out.
You can't even tell.
In other situations I can't tell either.
Tighten it.
-Roman?
-Yeah?
-I don't think you should drive.
-You can drive for all I care.
I'm happy to just sit on my ass.
I'm not your taxi driver.
Fucking Stephan.
Right. Count to two.
Wait, wait.
Give it to me
before you kill your brother.
-It doesn't shoot.
-It doesn't but it could shoot.
I...
-I fell asleep. -It's ok.
-And you? Shall we arrest you?
Huh? Shall we arrest you?
Listen. I'm definitely not
getting divorced, I'm not moving away
so there will be no discussion.
Men are hot-headed, I know that.
I'm no naïve ninny.
Whatever happened, happened.
Things happen.
But...
I just want to assure you
that you have a way with women.
Everything you did was really nice.
You know where to touch and stuff.
I just don't want you to feel stupid.
Roman knows. I sent him a message.
Fine.
-Boss?
-Hi.
-Didn't Bílková release you?
-You didn't finish my statement.
-Oh, damn.
-Hey! I know those!
Those are traffic signs, right?
I know the triangular one there.
It means a no-go.
Jindra? Aren't you hungry?
I mean like yeah, you know.
Bún bò Nam Bô. Yummy.
Thanks a lot.
-Jindra, I need to find out...
-Oh, this is yummy! -Jindra!
-I need to find out what this is.
-It's a bindle. -Yes, but what's in it?
What would be in it? Nothing.
Think of it as a cooperation
during an investigation.
-Just taste it.
-May I? Really?
-And can I stay another night?
-Sure you can. -Well, then...
I'll put myself out for you.
I mean I'll gladly put myself out for you.
I have this... Oh yeah.
Come to mama. What've you got?
Man, it's really there.
Well? What? What is it?
Shit!
Shit, it's the farmstead export, isn't it?
Half of Poland is crazy for it. Shit!
Wait, enough, enough. Enough, enough.
Man, this is some good shit.
-Good job, mate. -Good girl.
-This shit really does it. -Are you ok?
Well, this turned out to be a good day.
Oh, I know that one! The one with...
The triangular one means...
It means "Attention!"
"Attention!" And the circle thing is...
Boss, I'm gonna bore myself to death!
What am I gonna do here now?
You know what?
-Do some doodling.
-Right. Well, why not.
Let's sum it up, ok?
I've lost my favourite cap,
my wife fucked a cop...
You mean Mr Holeček?
And on top of it all, our borrowed car
has some fucking tyres
full of dirty money.
You know what?
We'll call Stephan's mates
that there was a mistake,
that we have their money
and it's totally safe.
I can't deal with this hide-and-seek.
When did he call them? Yesterday morning?
Officer Holeček, Cvikov police station.
Is that you, Roman?
What the fuck?
-Hello?
-Did you just call Jindra's phone?
There's no way
I'm talking to you, you prickster!
Who was it?
-Who was it?
-Emil, please, no questions now.
Just let me think.
Roman, we have some explaining to do.
Shut up, you asshole.
Now listen.
I'm driving a car with some fucking tyres
full of money, like literally a mint.
I have nothing to do with it.
Stephan stole it
from some fucking Poles who are
hanging out in Cvikov, harassing people.
-And where is Stephan?
-We left that moron somewhere in France.
-Good on you.
-What should I do? -Wait. Let me think.
I won't let you fucking think
because as you might know
today is really not my best day
-as someone fucked my missus.
-Sorry. -Fuck you.
You're a cop so tell me what to do.
What am I to do?
Play a straight bat. Make a U-turn
and drive the car back home.
Is this really your fucking advice?
They came to my house,
they harassed Iveta so do something!
Do something, my ass.
Now don't ask me any questions,
take a photo of those tyres
and send it to me, ok? Right now.
I'll fucking stab them all
and that'll be that.
They fucked with me big time.
Are you looking for something?
-Aren't you looking for something?
-Excuse me?
-Something like car tyres?
-Come here.
-Who are you?
-It doesn't matter.
-What do you want?
-I guess some kind of deal.
-Make a deal then.
-Relax, relax, relax. It's ok, it's ok.
It was all just one unlucky coincident.
The guys, they are driving the tyres now.
-It's not their fault. They'll return it.
-Who?
Roman Kudrna from the used car lot.
He got the tyres by mistake.
-What are you doing, you idiot?
-How did you find out about me?
In the car lot I saw the car cut up
to pieces and inside I found
-a petrol can from this farmstead.
-Are you a cop?
I fuck Roman's missus.
She's shitting herself, Roman too,
it's all one big misunderstanding.
Let me negotiate a handover, ok?
It's fine, fine. Just relax.
Let me take out my mobile phone.
Are these the tyres?
These can be any tyres.
-Jesus, don't you trust me at all?
-Call them.
-Where are you?
-South of France.
We've caught the thief
but he doesn't have all the money.
-Where are you?
-On some fucking Barcelona ring road.
When can you be in Barcelona?
Tomorrow.
At about ten.
Roman, send me the exact location.
You'll give it back to them.
I'll send it to you.
-I'll send you the destination details.
-Sure, boss. Sure.
Alright, then. A nice farmstead.
Let's go, cop. Let's go!
“If you don’t find me here, I am here.
Get some backup.”
Man, Emil... Thank you!
Roman!
Thanks, honestly.
I am telling you, Milena,
this feels like an obstruction of police.
-The whole thing just feels odd.
Your superior is smothering you.
He does not even allow you
to investigate the case of my car.
He does not come to work.
He disables access to a police car.
I do not like it.
I reckon it is a professional bullying.
We'll sort this out really quickly, ok?
Hi.
It's a misunderstanding.
You dig that?
-Keys.
-What keys?
How're we gonna get back home?
Oh shit.
We'll wait.
-We'll wait?
-Everything's fine.
Everything's fine. Yeah.
As I'm saying...
Wait. Come on.
Oh, come on.
Be a good boy.
This is so unnecessary.
Give it back to us.
Holy shit!
Emil, calm down! Emil!
Come on, hurry up. Emil, come on!
-Fuck!
-Let's get the fuck out of here.
-Stay here and don't move!
-I'm coming with you. -No.
I'll call you if necessary.
What are you staring at?
Help them out.
Help them load it and stop staring!
Now get lost!
What are you doing here?
Give it to me. Come on, let’s go.
-Roman, I want to go in there!
-I know. We'll get in. We'll sort it out.
-The race is already on, Roman, hurry!
-Jesus, calm down. Emil!
-It's already started!
-Calm down. -How will we get in?
Calm down, we’ll sort it out.
Let's do it the good old way.
I’ll be your wall. You’ll count to ten,
close your eyes, walk through the gate.
-How about you?
-Don’t worry. -When will you say Now?
Hi there.
Um... Fire, fire.
You got fire?
Yeah. Danke.
Oops, it slipped out!
Grab the card, Emil! It'll give you
an access to all places!
You'd better watch that gate!
-We got everything.
-Fine.
Are you ok?
What the fuck?
Fuck!
So? Are we good?
-Bílková?
-Warrant officer. -So you are a cop.
Get in line.
I suppose you didn’t call
the backup, did you?
Don’t worry, Bílková.
It will be ok.
I am sorry.
Hello?
Sir?
Knock her down for me.
-For fuck's sake, you can't be serious.
-I am.
Milena?
Let's wait.
Milena, don't be scared! I am here!
He'll leave.
What the hell is that noise?
Bílková!
Holy shit. Don't move,
you asshole! Don't move!
Yes! I did it!
I did it, can you believe that?
I did it! Can you believe I did it?
Can you believe that?
I did it, can you believe it?
I did it!
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are the boys?
Yup. They’re fine.
I’ve sold the blue Passat.
An hour ago this dumbass came over,
he was checking the car for 20 minutes
-and then he bought it.
-I see. Well, thanks.
-So who won? -What?
-The Grand Prix. -Dunno.
Hamilton, I guess.
Listen, Iveta.
-You know that I...
-What?
Look, I must go now.
We’ll talk about it at home. Bye.
Ok.
Emil.
Emil, man. What was that?
-I mustn’t talk about it.
-What do you mean? Who were those guys?
I signed a pledge of secrecy. Don't ask.
What the hell, man?
Who were those people?
I really wish I could tell you everything,
all the details but I just can’t.
Ok.
So what was it like in there?
What about the race? Was it good?
-Who won? -Bottas.
-Bottas? -Yup.
Mazepin crashed in the first bend.
And Vettel did not start at all.
Yet another failure of Aston Martin,
their engines just suck.
-How are we going to get home?
-I don’t know.
I guess we’ll have to find a station.
-You mean a train station?
-Or a bus station. I don’t know.
But I’m kind of broke.
Look what I bought for the boys.
Baseball caps. And this thing for Iveta.
-Did you buy one for me?
-No, man, you already have one.
Roman.
Here.
Wait, seriously?
Can I have it back, Emil?
Thanks. Thanks, mate.
Thank you!
-I've got it back.
-What's up, you fags?
Do you want a lift?
-Hello, Milena. -Hello.
-Anything new? -Your car has been found.
It burned down about 20 kilometres
from Barcelona. Probably a faulty wiring.
Here are some forms you need to fill.
It’s in Spanish but I’m sure
you'll work it out, Jiří.
-Wait. -Come on.
-Can I drive? -What?
Mind your head.
Mrs Polášková, I'll let you go today.
Thank you, bye.
-Hi, pig!
-Hi.
Emil, hurry up, we're going to the races!
Hi.
Look, what I got! It's non-flammable.
Honestly.
Look.
Oops.
Well, I was wrong.
Stay calm, GAZ 21 Volga was...
-Baleen, Baleen! Volga Baleen!
-The answer is correct.
And thanks to this answer
we are giving you two tickets
to F1 race in Barcelona.
Sorry, cut. Can we do a second run?
The graphics got stuck.
-But I've run out of confetti.
-The graphics is stuck. Do another take.
Give me back the tickets.
Don't worry, they're yours.
That's the place he landed.
See those bent trees? It was him, right?
-Have you ever arrested anyone?
-Not yet. -But you'd love to, right?
Stop eating here. This is
a police car. Look at all the crumbs.
Where am I supposed to go?
No, wrong way. Help!
Help!
Help!
This is an electronic whistle, lady.
I am a cardiac and I own a stimulator.
When attacked by a cardiac weakness and my stimulator malfunctions
-I use the whistle to call for help.
-Is it loud?
I'm trying to get hold of you.
What is going on here?
You've just participated in a police raid
which apprehended a criminal gang.
Put a rag under their bums!
Oh, yes, baby, I'm here.
Come to me. Come on.
Nice and careful.
Let your paws have some relief.
Do you want to listen to some music?
-Metal.
-Metal?
Fuck me.
Shit.
Fucking pooch.
GRAND PRIX
-I adjusted the brakes and the centre.
-What?
I adjusted the centre for balance.
Here is the shift diagram.
So you can do a round under three minutes.
I use my intuition,
not some idiotic diagrams.
Could you stop yelling?
-So, did you end up last?
-Give me a break!
Páťa, get out of there!
Cootchie-cootchie-coo!
-Roman...
-What? I can never speed up when sober.
Hi.
Hi there!
Hi, man! I've been looking for you.
-Hiya, Iveta, darling.
-Hi.
I got a cool car for you to dissect.
-Not now, man!
Gotcha.
Let it run!
-The start-up is not for an hour.
-I said let it run.
-There's not enough petrol.
-How come? -I brought just two cans.
-Just like Iveta wanted.
-A third can wouldn't fit in the car.
If the engine dies on me
I'll never start it again.
Got a hose?
-Stop waving that thing around!
-Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Hey.
-Let me create a diversion.
-Sure. Yeah.
Hi. Would you have a smoke for me?
-Sure.
-Thanks. It's stuck.
-Thanks. -You're welcome.
-And a light. -That too? Hang on.
-A lighter.
-Here you go.
-Oops!
-Hey! What's wrong with you?
Sorry. Where is it?
-Great. How will you get it back?
-I will. Come on, let's...
Let's look for it together.
We've got it! We've got it!
Come on, take it. Hurry up.
Let's go!
Wait for me!
Downshift, just downshift.
Get in the car.
-Hey, where do you think you're going?
-You're drunk, I'm driving.
No way. I'm not sitting in a car
with a chick behind the wheel.
-Get in there.
-Mum, don't.
You overdid the start.
I wrote it all down. You should have
downshifted before the first bend.
Mate, he's gonna chuck you out for real.
-Get out.
-Roman!
-What's up?
-Hey!
-What's up, boss?
-Well, what's up? -It's fine, fine.
I'm fine. I'm good.
Good! Everything's just fine.
Do you have a cigarette?
Every month you add
3 dl of 5W40 synthetic oil.
Gee, look at that puppy.
What a cutie pie.
I wrote it down for you.
Use the petrol station
in the south district.
The one in the east dilutes.
Give your car 10 minutes every day
and it will last 10 years longer.
Hey, Emil, you were on a TV contest?
-And you won some tickets?
-Contests are there to be won.
Man, Formula One?
-When are you two going?
-Excuse me? -You and Roman. When?
Oh, he doesn't know yet?
-Hi.
-Hi! -Hi, Iveta.
Please, keep it to yourself.
Hey! Wait a minute!
If you jab this into your brother's eye
he'll die, mate! What's got into you?
-You left your cap here.
-I've brought you mail and lunch.
How about my car magazine?
Sorry, I forgot that one.
Wait a second.
How is Roman?
Do you ride a bike now, Mr Holeček?
No, it's...
It was... I found it
lying by the train station.
Someone must have borrowed it
from someone. To catch a train.
Or something like that.
These are the buggy parts.
I'll help you load them in your car.
Honey, I'll just tell him
to pick them up himself. Bye.
Bye!
-Get in the car.
-I'm not going. Why?
I said get in the car! Now.
He threw you out again. Didn't he?
Mr Holeček...
Would you like to come
to the races with me?
Man, Emil, I'd love to.
But I couldn't care less about formulas.
Last week the contest question
for our TV audience was:
Which Volga model got rid
of designer Arlamov's rearing stag
which posed a danger for pedestrians
in potential collisions?
-Fucking bullshit.
Now let me welcome another guest
in our studio, Emil Štědrý from Cvikov.
-Welcome. -Hello.
-What is your answer?
It was the Gaz 21 Volga Baleen.
The answer is correct.
And thanks to this correct answer
you have just won two tickets
to Formula One race in Barcelona.
So your dim-witted cousin
is going to see Formula One?
Fuck me sideways. But the retards
are society-protected, man
-and we must bust our asses for them.
-He's no retard. -He's a fag.
The same thing.
What do you want?
Demolition, man!
Relax, relax, relax. Jesus!
Oh Christ. Boys, come help me out
with the groceries! And you stay here.
-Here.
-Hi. You're not helping me? -I can't.
Boys, come here!
Careful with the catalytic converter.
It's the money maker, man. I got a buyer.
Gaz fucking Baleen, man.
You really think you can do that?
I've always wondered, man.
Where are the pussies?
A calendar. With wheels and tits.
Where is it?
Congrats.
You won the quiz, right?
So congratulations.
Who's coming with you?
You won two tickets, right?
So who's coming with you?
The decision is solely mine.
You're not going anywhere.
The furthest you've been is Nová Paka.
Bullshit.
Why is it you who gets
fucking tickets to Grand Prix?
Why you?
Why you and not... Not me?
Because I entered for the contest?
Do you know how many times
I entered for some contest?
Do you know how many times
in my life I entered for a contest?
Many times!
And have I ever won? Huh?
You have probably never
given the correct answer.
Did you want to come with me?
You bet I could go with you.
Because it was me
who taught you everything about cars.
-That's disputable.
-Dispute to your heart's content.
I guess you forgot
we fell out.
-Say sorry.
-Sorry. -No. Say...
Roman, I'm sorry
I said you cannot shift gears.
Shit, he won't say it!
He makes me so upset
-and doesn't even apologize!
-Roman, I'm sorry
I said
you cannot shift gears.
Emil, man.
Grand Prix is a dream come true!
You bet I'm coming with you!
This is a precise travel itinerary.
For fuck's sake!
Hello.
There are people here too, eh?
-So I'm being careful, eh?
-That would be a suicide.
Speak up. Because my contact is weak.
Every dumbass knows the catalyst
converter is the most expensive part. Hi.
Wait, I have an extra SIM card,
charged for 300. A blowjob?
-Sure.
-Come on. I'm listening.
No, I wasn't talking to you.
We'll discuss this later.
It's my business. Cool. Bye.
Bye.
Unbelievable, they don't give a shit.
Thieves all around and no one bothers
to lock the fucking door. Come on.
What a fucking mess.
Right, get the job done.
Come on. Go for him.
-Dude.
-What? Don't mind that. Come on.
-Who's that?
-Dunno.
Fuck me!
Where are you off to, you ginger cunt?
It's good
you've patched things up with Emil.
Or are you just
taking advantage of his kindness?
Oh, please.
I'll feel much better when you travel
with Emil and not that prick Stephan.
-I just remembered I'll need the car!
-What for?
I'm not driving our kids
to school in those boneshakers!
Thank you.
What boneshakers? She's a boneshaker!
Driving her ass in a fucking Honda.
What's this?
Fucking tyres.
Mind your step now.
What are you staring at?
You stole my car!
Ouch! Fuck.
I'll do anything. Anything!
You want me to steal for you?
Or kill? No problem, I'll kill for you!
-Where is my car?
-The car is no more, sir.
What did you expect? Only an idiot
leaves an unlocked car by the mall...
-Where is the car?
-It's cut into pieces!
-Cut into pieces!
-Where?
-CashBazar. Outside the town.
-Has he sold the tyres?
What tyres? No, no!
I don't know! I don't! I swear!
Uncle, should we go to the car lot?
Make sure you don't get violent.
What have I just told you?
You never listen.
Take it away.
-Get in there.
-Don't push me.
Holy cunt!
Oh, teeth.
Did you know it's on commission?
-This car is not yours.
-Let me handle it, ok?
Martens have eaten the wires
so be careful when charging your phone.
How can I help you?
Have you got these tyres?
You mean Dunlop?
No, I don't. No.
-Where the fuck are they?
-Why do you care? Are you a vatman?
Get the fuck out of here.
What are you doing, man?
Get out of here.
No Polish cunts will make me
take the tyres off the car.
I've just put them on.
-Bye.
-Bye. -Bye.
Now go to sleep, ok?
That is such an awful cap.
Can't you wear something decent?
-Have you got money?
-Yep.
Give me some, I'm broke.
Cheers.
Roman?
I borrowed this from the car lot. Get in.
Come on.
And off we go to see the race.
The tyres are not balanced.
Next stop, Amberg petrol station,
then exit E50
Heilbronn, Mainz, Koblenz.
Stop at Nürburgring.
A tour of the historic site.
What are you babbling about?
I want to see Nürburgring.
After visiting the Nürburgring site
we continue to Luxemburg, Metz,
Reims, Paris, Le Mans.
We stop there.
A tour of the racing circuit.
How about visiting fucking Monza?
What do you think you'll get
to see there? Let me tell you.
A tarmac.
A fucking tarmac in the middle of fields.
That's what you'll get to see there.
If you want to take a straight route
we must recalculate the time schedule
and in that case
we didn't have to set off so early.
-What do you mean early?
-The plan contained optional stops
intended for visiting racing circuits.
Yesterday I gave you the copy to read.
Wait, so we could have slept in?
Emil? I could have slept in?
Fine.
Let's go see a tarmac in fields.
Better than being stuck at home.
Have you planned any brothels too?
Whores with tits and stuff. You know?
I'll pick a bride for you.
-What? That's what proper families do.
-I don't want you to.
But I'd like to discuss the way
we share certain financial costs.
-The whore's on me.
-Namely: petrol,
tolls and motel accommodations.
We're both freelancers,
we'll add it to our expenses, mate.
-Are you going to smoke here?
-No.
The one on your side is not working.
Martens have eaten the wires.
Emil.
Emil! Calm down.
For fuck's sake, Emil, give me a break
with those fits! Calm the hell down!
I'm fucking screwed here.
This is gonna be one hell of a drive.
-How about hello? Where is your daddy?
-Gone.
-And your mummy?
-Asleep.
So my Volkswagen got sold?
-The green van?
-Dad drove it away.
-Where to?
-To Grand Prix.
-Where is that?
-At Barcelona.
Bye.
Right.
Is that all you do here?
I can't do anything more
until warrant officer arrives.
Just sign here, please.
And here is a copy for you.
Thank you.
I am not leaving.
I'll wait here for some information
about my lost automobile.
I think it was a criminal offence.
Yes, it is in your statement.
The car has a special emotional value.
Once I drove it to Peenemünde.
Anyway.
This morning I bought
some grocery and here...
A tablet with an Android OS.
A senior citizen with a bag
full of food and a functional tablet
can last in one place
for a very, very long time.
If you plan on staying for a long time
could you stay in the hallway?
Where is he?
He's disappeared.
Boss, what was in the tyres?
Your salary. Your salary.
Everything.
Go back to the used car lot.
And I was planning to buy a new tractor.
I must buy some puffs.
We'll buy some puffs.
Go on, then. Don't be scared.
I'll wait for you over there.
Go get the puffs.
Hey!
Open the door for me!
Hi!
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-I totally fell asleep in there.
Where... How the fuck did you get
into this fucking car, man?
-I just got in and fell asleep. -When?
-When the Poles were pissing you off.
-What is wrong with your mug?
-Where? -Did they do this to you?
Whatever, those are just details.
But there's one thing though.
Haven't you seen my teeth?
Hello, welcome.
-The puffs.
-Puffs? Very well.
Stop staring and piss off! Go!
Shit.
I STILL LUVE YOU
-IT SPELLS LOVE
-We gotta go home now.
-We're going home, I have a hot tip!
-I'm going to Grand Prix, you dumbass!
-Are we in Reich?
-Yep. -We're fucked.
We're fucking fucked.
-Are these the tyres from the Touareg?
-What? -Are they, or not?
Yeah, from the one you brought last time.
A change of plan. I'm coming with you.
-Like shit you are!
-Let go! -No fucking way!
-Emil will never approve!
-Let go, I'm coming with you!
-Well?
-I got the puffs. -You did, didn't you?
Let's go.
The fan belt.
Relax.
Ouch! Ouch.
Shit. I bit my fucking tongue.
What the fuck are you doing here, man?
Emil!
Emil, wait!
-Hello.
-Hello.
Good morning.
-Has anyone claimed the bike?
-No.
-And what is it in the hallway?
-Mr Nováček, reporting a car theft.
-Have you taken down his statement?
-Yes. -So why is he still sitting there?
-Will anyone attend to me?
-Could you wait outside, please?
Bílková, I had a really bad night.
Partying hard with firemen.
I feel really queasy.
Get rid of him for me.
Fuck, too much sugar.
You mean you entrust me with the case?
I don't know if I'm entrusting you
but I'm not dealing with an issue
of an agile senior. That guy
will swallow up the whole day!
What are you staring at?
Get rid of him for me!
Answ... Boys, answer the door!
You're acting like a baby, Emil.
I'm not stuck here for another hour!
I'm not travelling with him!
Once you brought him to my garage
and five litres of 46161 hydraulic oil
disappeared. He's a thief!
-Shut your twat, you're mental!
-I have not been officially diagnosed!
Fag!
We had a deal
it would be just the two of us.
Let's go. Just the two of us.
Are you fucking nuts?
You know what? Get off the car.
-I'm going with Emil.
-No, I've been there for you. -Bullshit.
Do you know what this is?
Well, do you?
-Yeah, I know!
-What tattoo did they want to give you?
What almost happened to you in the shower?
-And who saved you? Me!
-Well, go and sort it out! -How?
I don't know, just fucking
go there and sort it out! Now!
This shit is just too much. I'm gonna
go fucking crazy! Fuck this shit!
He's not available.
My car was parked right here.
Klimek fancies young mummies.
Boo!
Where are the tyres?
He put them on another car
and drove off to Barcelona.
Don't breathe a word,
or we'll burn down your house
and kill your kids.
See?
-Those are my tyres over there.
-Oh. Okay.
-Are you looking for anything?
-Yes. My car.
Man, his skull must be real hollow.
I said let's make a deal,
as they say in English, right?
Let's talk about what you want
to let me go with you.
Do you know what he said?
He said he wants the cap.
-What does he want?
-The cap you're wearing.
He must be kidding or something.
Are you that fucked up? Is he nuts?
-I'm totally out of the loop.
-Emil?
-Jesus, Roman, give him the shabby lid.
-A lid?
A lid?
Loprais won his first Dakar race with it!
It's still dusted with Sahara sand,
it's a fucking relic, dude!
And you know it, Emil. You know
the value this cap has for me!
That's why you want it! Forget it!
Man, such a cool deal makes me look
like a retard. I'm at my wits' end.
You idiot. This is a personal gift
from Loprais himself! Get it?
You think I'm gonna hand it over to him?
Where is Vlasta Holeček?
Mr Holeček entrusted the case with me.
Ladies, I think it is necessary to get
the interrogation back on the right track.
-What interrogation?
-We are here for theft. -What theft?
Volkswagen Multivan, green metallic
paint. All that is left are the tyres.
-My husband is no thief.
-Neither is uncle Emil. Ouch!
So there were more people in the car?
-Surname, please.
-Štědrý. -Is he the boy
who is so into cars?
The mentally retarded one?
He's not retarded,
just a little different.
-That's what people say.
-People also say you're an idiot.
Can you give us your husband's
phone number so we can call him?
Don't you have the number, Mr Nováček?
-I do.
-Why didn't you call him right away?
-By all means, I can call him.
-No use. He's not available.
I think Mrs Kudrnová is right.
This is no theft. It's an unreported loan.
-Is that some new legal term?
-I don't know. -So why do you use it?
Why didn't you call him yourself?
Did you really have to go to the police?
That man just took my car
and left. And it is a theft.
The warrant officer says we should use
the common sense in the first place.
-This is no theft, counting blindly...
-It is all adding up perfectly to me.
-What is adding up?
-Links, contacts, camaraderie.
-You're exaggerating.
-I am not! This citizen feels sick!
-I'm trying to help you here.
-Go on, find my car.
It was over there but not anymore.
Once I drove it to Peenemünde!
Relax, matey.
-Maybe he'll give it back to you.
-Hold the phone! -I've just unplugged it.
-Stop stressing me out.
-Just do it.
-Or we'll just take it ourselves.
-He'll bite you.
Man, Sweetie, Sweetie is calling.
Sweetie is calling!
Give it to me now!
-What's up?
-I'll kick your reddish mug, you idiot,
and then I'll divorce you!
You leave and I get paid a visit
-by some Polish thieves?!
-Calm down. By whom?
Ask your friend Stephan,
that dickhead who stole their car!
And you're even bigger idiot
for taking the car to pieces!
-No idea what you're talking about.
-I ain't no fucking dimwit!
Could you stop shrieking for a bit?
-My head is about to burst.
-They'll burn our house down! -Who?
-The Poles! -Poles often say that.
-And then the old grump arrived.
-Who? -Nováček!
-What did he want? -You moron!
-You drove off in his car. He noticed!
-No kidding.
I swear to you, Roman,
I'll divorce you! I swear to God!
Now wait a minute!
-You can't... I'm the one to be upset!
-Why?
Because you say I'm an idiot!
-You have no right to be so mean!
-You're such a stuck-up fop, Roman.
You're such a fucked-up thickhead!
You fucking get your ass out of here,
you leave me here with the kids
and the car lot and all your fuck-ups
and I have to deal with that shit
while you're chatting up
whores on parking lots, you fucker!
I'll call that old grump, now shut up.
-You bet you will! Right now, Roman!
-We're entering a tunnel.
-There is no tunnel. -Sorry, bye!
-Don't you dare hang up on me!
I hate when you do that, Roman!
-Who did you steal the fucking car from?
-Huh?
Iveta has been harassed by some
Polish swines. Whose car was it?
-You know what I'm talking about?
-No. -Out with it, you moron!
-Sheesh, they're my mates. It's cool.
-Mates? You said they're dumb.
Maybe they're a bit dumb
but otherwise, they're totally cool.
Do you owe them money?
Yep. I owe them money.
Jesus, Roman, obviously I'm sorry
I've dragged you into all this shit.
You're calling them right now
-to leave me and my family out of it.
-I can't. I lost my phone, didn't I?
Use mine.
I can't remember the number, can I?
You never forget your creditor's number!
-That's obviously true, isn't it?
-No more bullshit! -There was none!
-Hello?
-Hi, guy lady. This is Stephan.
-Stephan?
-Yes, everything have under control.
Everything be fine.
Yes, will be fucking awesome.
There won't be hel.
There won't be hel. Could be.
-What is this gibberish?
-Well then, yeah, yeah. Bye.
-And it's all fine. -Is it?
-Sure. -Do you swear?
I swear on my tattoo.
Don't say you can't hold on for one week.
Sorry but a week is too much.
I'll call you tomorrow,
send you a deposit
-and soon you'll be rid of it.
-Deposit is ok. But two days at most.
-Not a day more.
-Hang on.
-Yes?
-Cops are hanging around here.
Hang on, wait. Wait.
Right. Can we hear each other?
That guy put the tyres on another car
and drove off to Barcelona.
Shit.
Does he know what's in the tyres?
-No idea.
-Find them, for fuck's sake.
Last year's Lonato winner
of Rock category,
Roman Kudrna, won the bronze medal,
leaving behind names like this year's
German champion Rick Dreezen.
-Shit. -Where did you get this?
-It's Emil's scrapbook.
-He must be in love with you, dude.
-Give it to me. -Come on!
We're BFFs and I didn't know this?
How come you've turned into a loser?
Huh? What the fuck happened?
-He made a bet. -So what?
-He made a bet on his own loss.
-Is that a thing?
-He crashed on the third bend. -Boom!
You destroyed a car worth half a million.
And how much did you clear in the bet?
-After the sponsors found out?
-You got an honourable kick in your butts!
Right?
-What asshole told you to do that?
-Not me. -A friend.
That's your thing, Roman. You always
go in cahoots with these assholes.
Such an ace, such a fuck-up.
-He wasn't that much of an ace.
-It says "junior national champion".
So he must have been a bit good.
He treats cars bad,
he doesn't adhere to the diet,
he doesn't downshift in bends.
-Once he was pretty good.
-See? That's what I say.
Everyone is pretty good at something
but you must be aware of the fact
you're not the best. I was pretty good
at forging licence plates. But not
the best! And that's that, man.
So if you're not aware of that
you start doing stupid things.
-I'm not doing stupid things!
-You knocked up a 13-year-old.
Three months in jail is pretty stupid.
I know, I know.
You know what I always say?
Every cloud has a silver lining.
-What was the silver lining there?
-Meeting your best friend in jail.
And I'm still here.
You can fucking lean on me.
You can trust me.
Good luck charm.
Show us what you got there.
Boom, dude.
It looks like Hot Wheels.
-He almost had a mermaid there.
-Why? -Because he fucks children.
It says Štědrý's garage has concluded
a contract with the municipal police
to maintain the police car park.
-There you go. -What?
-A bit of digging does the job.
But what does it have to do
with Mr Kudrna driving your car to Spain?
Only the smartest ones
can connect the dots.
My gang is your gang,
you scratch my back,
I scratch yours.
Well, and there goes a plot.
I just figured
that ever since I came to this place
I haven't even looked around.
Wow.
Is this where you lock them up?
Shooting up junk in front
of a kindergarten, Jindra?
-There was no one but kids. Hi.
-Your ID. -Sure.
So he's here again?
Can I ask you a question, sir?
Did you conclude a contract
for maintenance of the car park
-with Mr Emil Štědrý?
-If the car park means our only car
-then yes, I did.
-Štědrý left for Spain with Mr Kudrna.
-So what?
-They're driving my car.
Boss, could you make me some coffee?
Mr Nováček's car was in Mr Kudrna's lot
-and Kudrna and Štědrý drove it off.
-And that is a theft. -Mr Nováček.
If your car is on sale or return
Mr Kudrna is responsible for it.
And if the vehicle was stolen
he should be the one to report it.
Do not dare to raise your voice at me!
-I am absolutely calm.
-Yeah, senior. Boss is cool as a breeze.
I want you to put my car
on the INTERPOL stolen vehicle database.
-Sugar? -What?
-No, you know I have a diabetes.
Thanks, boss.
We know our people, Bílková.
We bullied Kudrna at elementary school,
Emil was a member
of my junior engineers club
-and me and Jindra dated once.
-Did we? I can't remember!
Just like everything
that happened before your first needle.
Hey, you're talking rubbish and
there's a gang of Poles in the streets!
-A Polish gang?
-Yep. They beat Stephan yesterday.
What the hell are you talking about?
Cross my heart and switch to methadone!
I went to his place to give him a blowjob
and two Poles showed up. Stephan got
so scared his false teeth almost fell out.
Stub it out! Now!
-Sure.
-Hang on. This Mr Stephan...
-Does he wear a dental prothesis?
-Sure! He wears these three teeth.
On a wire. One tooth is golden.
But it's just a fool's gold.
-A fool's gold?
-It gives him polyps.
Oh, and today? They called me
from an unknown number.
I mean he called. And like...
He was speaking Polish
and I couldn't understand a word.
-Look it up yourself.
-Well, fine but...
-What is this?
-Wait a second.
Yup, this could be it.
Where did you find it, Mr Nováček?
In the used car lot.
Boss, could I stay overnight?
My place is lice-infested.
Sure, you can.
But first you'll stub the ciggie out,
immediately! Jindřiška!
For fuck's sake! No smoking area!
Le Mans. A tour of the circuit
and the historic museum.
-And the place where Dumbreck crashed.
-No, museum first. -Dumbreck first.
-Who is Drumback?
-A racer. -Yeah, right.
-Now turn to the right. Now.
-Now? -Now!
-Yes.
-No! -Over there.
-No, not yet.
-Sheesh, do we keep circling like idiots?
Now to the r... Now to the right, right?
Yeah, let's do 16 circles here.
No, here.
Where did Dumbreck go off the road?
A bit further down the road.
This is Indianapolis.
It was here, wasn't it?
Dude, this place looks
a bit like Chomutov, eh?
It was somewhere in that area, right?
-I read that the Mercedes miscounted...
-Shush, shush, shush.
Don't spoil the moment.
Emil, let me tell you...
This is pretty powerful. Honestly.
That's where he landed.
-Those bent trees. It was him, right?
-Right.
-Take a picture of me.
-Sure.
-Come on. -What the fuck?
-Come on! -What the fuck are you doing?
-I'm getting in... -Are you nuts?
-You want me to stab a knife on me?
-Why the fuck are you cutting it?
-Stop it! I'm trying to get in.
Right. Right.
Come on. Come on.
There's more.
-Yes! Yes! Right. Mine.
-What is this?
Ho! Ho! Step away, you fags,
or I'll stab both of ya!
-Have you gone mad?
-Shut up!
Emil!
Emil, where are you going?
-Come here.
-Screw him, let's grab a bite. Come on.
I'm a little disappointed. I expected
to find meth in there. Oh well.
We'll cut up all the tyres and see.
Are you nuts? No more cutting.
-I'm fucking starving.
-It's dirty money. -Oh, come on!
They're just a bunch of Polish rookies.
-Probably not complete idiots.
-Do you see what's at stake here?
No more freezing on parking lots,
waiting for randomly unlocked cars.
-We'll go to fucking jail, man!
-I spend my Christmases there anyway.
-But I don't and I don't want to.
-Stop whispering like an idiot.
-I'm not whispering.
-No one understands you here!
-Relax, there's no way they can catch us.
-They were harassing Iveta, you moron.
-They were at my home.
-But they didn't stab her, right?
They didn't poke out her eye. The kids
are fine. Relax, they're just pricks.
-You're a prick.
-Hey, easy.
Easy!
It's me that has been making
your living. Not the wrecks in your yard.
Ok? These honest hands!
-They've been bringing you dough!
-Shush. -Show a little respect, ok?
I'll have you, my beauty! I'll cover
you with honey and lick you all over.
She doesn't understand a word.
Hold on, pussycat. Hold on.
Stop now, ok? Stop now. Check this.
-I'll tie you to a bed, you French whore!
-Stephan!
No worries. Look.
-What are you doing?
-You.
Mwah? Oui.
Pick - what - I - eat.
Yes, you can. You can.
You can do anything,
you cute little thingie.
Nichts. Nichts.
-Ass like a mule. -You're such a dick!
-Why are you crumpling it up, man?
-This is the beginning of a new life.
-I don't want a fucking new life!
Really? You like your old life? Do you?
-I don't, man. I don't but...
-See? Shut up then!
-You're such a prick.
-Where are you going?
Where are you going?
Ah, nice little water.
Nice little water, a nice little glass.
Nice little cutleries.
Hi!
Hello.
Is everything ok?
Thanks. 26 missed calls, 12 messages.
Are you married?
-I'm single.
-But you've been in relationships?
Yes, been there done that.
You're always so cheerful.
Why can't Roman be this cheerful?
I'm not always cheerful.
But you want a family, right?
I thought I'd get myself a dog.
-Do you happen to have any money?
-Excuse me?
All Roman left me was a hundred.
Five hundred is fine.
Listen.
When was the last time
Stephan brought some stolen car here?
I'm no snitch. I'll rat
on Stephan but on Roman? Never.
Stephan is with Roman now.
-How do you know? -He called Jindra.
-You can't trust that junkie, Mr Holeček.
He called her from Roman's phone, Iveta.
Scania Streamline V8 580 horse power.
Renault T,
480 hp.
He's a thief.
He is, yeah.
And what am I to do?
He stole five litres
of 46161 hydraulic oil from me.
Emil, quit carping at that.
Throw him out. Tomorrow I want
to make it to the first time practice.
You'll make it.
Ew, this place fucking stinks.
Has a cat died here?
What?
Jean-Paul? I don't get a shit
of what you say. Man, what a rump.
Careful with the teeth.
Come on.
But just a little nibble. Just a nibble.
What? Are you...? Fucking nuts?
You can't... When it's so sensitive,
you can't ravage it like that, you crank!
Holy shit. Holy shit!
Jesus, mama! Mama!
Mum! Mum, this is incredible. Mum!
Mama! Yes!
Stop sticking your fingers
in my mouth, for God's sake.
Mum! Mum!
Mama! Mum! Yeah, yeah!
What's up?
It's my fucking cap. Give it to me.
Give me back my cap!
We should go. I want to make it
to the first time practice.
-Stephan.
-What? I'll kill them! -Wake up.
-Wait. -Come on!
-Stop yelling! I know, dude!
-Go sort it out.
-What? Fuck, my balls hurt.
-What's she doing there?
-Dunno, she has my jacket.
-What bullshit did you feed her?
-Me? I can't speak a word in French!
-So why is she standing by our car?
-She's going to work. -With a suitcase?
I guess so.
-Bonjour.
-Bonjour.
See? She's fucked off. Let's go.
-How did she get in there?
-I tried to reason with her.
-You've fucked this up, man.
-Me? He did... -Go sort it out.
-She can't come with us.
-Sure thing.
What's wrong with you?
Jean-Paul chucked you out?
I'm not going. Please, go home. What?
She wants me to get in.
Alright, I'm going in.
Grab that pink suitcase.
Can I finish? I can't.
Grab that pink suitcase
and piss off to where you came from!
Go home.
No two moment, right now!
Right now, no two moment!
Right now you'll piss off
to where you came from!
No way! No! I'm not a dumbass!
I'll sit here like a dick too.
So stubborn, man, she's so stubborn.
I'm not listening anymore. Blah blah!
Jiří, they have already got it.
The car description, registration number
-and the identity of all three men.
-There you go, Milena.
Once the youthful enthusiasm gets
together with a life experience,
-things start to work out.
-What the fuck is this gathering?
We have just issued an international
warrant for their arrest.
Sir?
Stephan Spilka spent half his life in jail
for thefts, possession of stolen goods,
-etcetera, etcetera.
-Bílková.
No one has confirmed he is with them.
He is.
-Kudrna is a sex offender.
-Jesus Christ!
That girl didn't look 13!
-And in the end he married her, right?
-Right.
They have three kids together,
this is a happy marriage!
Due to all his moving violations
he shouldn't be driving at all.
-See? One hand washes another.
-Get out of here!
And Štědrý's criminal record
showed us two physical assaults.
But you cannot handle this by an international warrant for arrest!
Cancel it immediately, Bílková!
Those boys went on a trip.
-To see F1 race!
-Emil Štědrý bites people.
Relax, Emil.
-We'll get rid of her somewhere.
-I want to see the time practice. -I know.
What?
What does "suppush" mean?
-"Swab" what?
-What is she doing with the window?
I don't know, I guess she's swabbing it!
-Tell her to stop swabbing!
-Or maybe she's calling me shabby?
That mad bitch is spraying me
with some stinky water. Fuck off!
-It makes me sick! -I feel dizzy!
-Me too. -Jesus, girl, you're too much!
I can't do this. I can't deal with you.
"Call me, or I'll kill meself."
Guys, I have an idea. We'll give her
a lot of beer to drink, it's diuretic,
-and she'll have to get out to piss.
-Emil, calm the hell down!
-This is unbearable!
-I'm not well. I'm not well.
What's wrong with you?
Don't brake so sharply! Ouch!
Madam, I'm asking you nicely.
Get out of here.
-Get the hell out of this car!
-Forget it, you can't make her move.
I'll go have a smoke. Get her out.
Why me? I can't deal with her, I can't.
It's all your fault. You spoil everything!
-Yeah?
-Is Stephan there with you? -What?
Stephan? How would Stephan get here?
-Roman, please, don't lie to me. Listen.
-What?
-Is there a woman with you?
-No.
-Shit, he's biting that whore!
-It's Stephan! -Oops, a tunnel.
-Roman, it was Stephan, don't lie!
-A tunnel, love.
Dude, good job, you stinky shit!
What's wrong with you,
you stinky shit? Who're you coming at?
Who are you coming at?
You want me to smother you?
Hey, you want me to knock you down too?
Emil, hop in the car.
Fuck you, you nitwit!
Fuck your new life, dude!
My poor little nose!
Wait! Roman!
For fuck's sake! Wait! Ouch.
Wait! You're not really
leaving me here like this, are you?
Fuck!
Fucking fuck!
Iveta!
Hi.
Listen...
I need to ask you a few more
things about those Poles.
What's wrong? Has anything happened?
Iveta...
Wait...
This is not how you
imagined the trip, right? Sorry.
Look, why don't we go back
and sort out the tyres?
No. We'll return them later. Not now.
What's wrong?
The fan belt.
Well?
I don't know.
Ring my fucking phone!
I don't have a phone. It gives me fits.
-What happened?
-Iveta is fucking around!
That treacherous bitch. What kind
of a person hides their age from others?
„Look at that Kudrna,
he's the one that fucks children!
What was it like in the jail, Roman?
Who were your cellmates?
Can you imagine? Kudrna's father-in-law
is younger than Kudrna himself!"
Had it not been for all this,
I would still race, win, make big cash.
-No! -What?
-You'd never be a professional racer.
What did you say?
What did you just say? You're right!
Because I don't love cars enough?
I don't treat cars like human beings?
-Because I can't downshift? -You can't.
-Just say it! -I just did!
See?
But at least you're being honest.
Thanks for that.
I must write her that she's a whore.
Can I ask you something?
-Didn't you ask Iveta how old she was?
-Why would I?
You never ask chicks these questions.
And she looked 20 with all that make-up.
-I would if I wanted an intercourse.
-That's you.
Come on, we need to fix the car.
Let's check the cables. Shit, man.
-Don't do that, you'll break it!
-Bullshit. It's not the fan belt.
The fuel filler hose fell out.
You can't even tell.
In other situations I can't tell either.
Tighten it.
-Roman?
-Yeah?
-I don't think you should drive.
-You can drive for all I care.
I'm happy to just sit on my ass.
I'm not your taxi driver.
Fucking Stephan.
Right. Count to two.
Wait, wait.
Give it to me
before you kill your brother.
-It doesn't shoot.
-It doesn't but it could shoot.
I...
-I fell asleep. -It's ok.
-And you? Shall we arrest you?
Huh? Shall we arrest you?
Listen. I'm definitely not
getting divorced, I'm not moving away
so there will be no discussion.
Men are hot-headed, I know that.
I'm no naïve ninny.
Whatever happened, happened.
Things happen.
But...
I just want to assure you
that you have a way with women.
Everything you did was really nice.
You know where to touch and stuff.
I just don't want you to feel stupid.
Roman knows. I sent him a message.
Fine.
-Boss?
-Hi.
-Didn't Bílková release you?
-You didn't finish my statement.
-Oh, damn.
-Hey! I know those!
Those are traffic signs, right?
I know the triangular one there.
It means a no-go.
Jindra? Aren't you hungry?
I mean like yeah, you know.
Bún bò Nam Bô. Yummy.
Thanks a lot.
-Jindra, I need to find out...
-Oh, this is yummy! -Jindra!
-I need to find out what this is.
-It's a bindle. -Yes, but what's in it?
What would be in it? Nothing.
Think of it as a cooperation
during an investigation.
-Just taste it.
-May I? Really?
-And can I stay another night?
-Sure you can. -Well, then...
I'll put myself out for you.
I mean I'll gladly put myself out for you.
I have this... Oh yeah.
Come to mama. What've you got?
Man, it's really there.
Well? What? What is it?
Shit!
Shit, it's the farmstead export, isn't it?
Half of Poland is crazy for it. Shit!
Wait, enough, enough. Enough, enough.
Man, this is some good shit.
-Good job, mate. -Good girl.
-This shit really does it. -Are you ok?
Well, this turned out to be a good day.
Oh, I know that one! The one with...
The triangular one means...
It means "Attention!"
"Attention!" And the circle thing is...
Boss, I'm gonna bore myself to death!
What am I gonna do here now?
You know what?
-Do some doodling.
-Right. Well, why not.
Let's sum it up, ok?
I've lost my favourite cap,
my wife fucked a cop...
You mean Mr Holeček?
And on top of it all, our borrowed car
has some fucking tyres
full of dirty money.
You know what?
We'll call Stephan's mates
that there was a mistake,
that we have their money
and it's totally safe.
I can't deal with this hide-and-seek.
When did he call them? Yesterday morning?
Officer Holeček, Cvikov police station.
Is that you, Roman?
What the fuck?
-Hello?
-Did you just call Jindra's phone?
There's no way
I'm talking to you, you prickster!
Who was it?
-Who was it?
-Emil, please, no questions now.
Just let me think.
Roman, we have some explaining to do.
Shut up, you asshole.
Now listen.
I'm driving a car with some fucking tyres
full of money, like literally a mint.
I have nothing to do with it.
Stephan stole it
from some fucking Poles who are
hanging out in Cvikov, harassing people.
-And where is Stephan?
-We left that moron somewhere in France.
-Good on you.
-What should I do? -Wait. Let me think.
I won't let you fucking think
because as you might know
today is really not my best day
-as someone fucked my missus.
-Sorry. -Fuck you.
You're a cop so tell me what to do.
What am I to do?
Play a straight bat. Make a U-turn
and drive the car back home.
Is this really your fucking advice?
They came to my house,
they harassed Iveta so do something!
Do something, my ass.
Now don't ask me any questions,
take a photo of those tyres
and send it to me, ok? Right now.
I'll fucking stab them all
and that'll be that.
They fucked with me big time.
Are you looking for something?
-Aren't you looking for something?
-Excuse me?
-Something like car tyres?
-Come here.
-Who are you?
-It doesn't matter.
-What do you want?
-I guess some kind of deal.
-Make a deal then.
-Relax, relax, relax. It's ok, it's ok.
It was all just one unlucky coincident.
The guys, they are driving the tyres now.
-It's not their fault. They'll return it.
-Who?
Roman Kudrna from the used car lot.
He got the tyres by mistake.
-What are you doing, you idiot?
-How did you find out about me?
In the car lot I saw the car cut up
to pieces and inside I found
-a petrol can from this farmstead.
-Are you a cop?
I fuck Roman's missus.
She's shitting herself, Roman too,
it's all one big misunderstanding.
Let me negotiate a handover, ok?
It's fine, fine. Just relax.
Let me take out my mobile phone.
Are these the tyres?
These can be any tyres.
-Jesus, don't you trust me at all?
-Call them.
-Where are you?
-South of France.
We've caught the thief
but he doesn't have all the money.
-Where are you?
-On some fucking Barcelona ring road.
When can you be in Barcelona?
Tomorrow.
At about ten.
Roman, send me the exact location.
You'll give it back to them.
I'll send it to you.
-I'll send you the destination details.
-Sure, boss. Sure.
Alright, then. A nice farmstead.
Let's go, cop. Let's go!
“If you don’t find me here, I am here.
Get some backup.”
Man, Emil... Thank you!
Roman!
Thanks, honestly.
I am telling you, Milena,
this feels like an obstruction of police.
-The whole thing just feels odd.
Your superior is smothering you.
He does not even allow you
to investigate the case of my car.
He does not come to work.
He disables access to a police car.
I do not like it.
I reckon it is a professional bullying.
We'll sort this out really quickly, ok?
Hi.
It's a misunderstanding.
You dig that?
-Keys.
-What keys?
How're we gonna get back home?
Oh shit.
We'll wait.
-We'll wait?
-Everything's fine.
Everything's fine. Yeah.
As I'm saying...
Wait. Come on.
Oh, come on.
Be a good boy.
This is so unnecessary.
Give it back to us.
Holy shit!
Emil, calm down! Emil!
Come on, hurry up. Emil, come on!
-Fuck!
-Let's get the fuck out of here.
-Stay here and don't move!
-I'm coming with you. -No.
I'll call you if necessary.
What are you staring at?
Help them out.
Help them load it and stop staring!
Now get lost!
What are you doing here?
Give it to me. Come on, let’s go.
-Roman, I want to go in there!
-I know. We'll get in. We'll sort it out.
-The race is already on, Roman, hurry!
-Jesus, calm down. Emil!
-It's already started!
-Calm down. -How will we get in?
Calm down, we’ll sort it out.
Let's do it the good old way.
I’ll be your wall. You’ll count to ten,
close your eyes, walk through the gate.
-How about you?
-Don’t worry. -When will you say Now?
Hi there.
Um... Fire, fire.
You got fire?
Yeah. Danke.
Oops, it slipped out!
Grab the card, Emil! It'll give you
an access to all places!
You'd better watch that gate!
-We got everything.
-Fine.
Are you ok?
What the fuck?
Fuck!
So? Are we good?
-Bílková?
-Warrant officer. -So you are a cop.
Get in line.
I suppose you didn’t call
the backup, did you?
Don’t worry, Bílková.
It will be ok.
I am sorry.
Hello?
Sir?
Knock her down for me.
-For fuck's sake, you can't be serious.
-I am.
Milena?
Let's wait.
Milena, don't be scared! I am here!
He'll leave.
What the hell is that noise?
Bílková!
Holy shit. Don't move,
you asshole! Don't move!
Yes! I did it!
I did it, can you believe that?
I did it! Can you believe I did it?
Can you believe that?
I did it, can you believe it?
I did it!
-Hi.
-Hi.
How are the boys?
Yup. They’re fine.
I’ve sold the blue Passat.
An hour ago this dumbass came over,
he was checking the car for 20 minutes
-and then he bought it.
-I see. Well, thanks.
-So who won? -What?
-The Grand Prix. -Dunno.
Hamilton, I guess.
Listen, Iveta.
-You know that I...
-What?
Look, I must go now.
We’ll talk about it at home. Bye.
Ok.
Emil.
Emil, man. What was that?
-I mustn’t talk about it.
-What do you mean? Who were those guys?
I signed a pledge of secrecy. Don't ask.
What the hell, man?
Who were those people?
I really wish I could tell you everything,
all the details but I just can’t.
Ok.
So what was it like in there?
What about the race? Was it good?
-Who won? -Bottas.
-Bottas? -Yup.
Mazepin crashed in the first bend.
And Vettel did not start at all.
Yet another failure of Aston Martin,
their engines just suck.
-How are we going to get home?
-I don’t know.
I guess we’ll have to find a station.
-You mean a train station?
-Or a bus station. I don’t know.
But I’m kind of broke.
Look what I bought for the boys.
Baseball caps. And this thing for Iveta.
-Did you buy one for me?
-No, man, you already have one.
Roman.
Here.
Wait, seriously?
Can I have it back, Emil?
Thanks. Thanks, mate.
Thank you!
-I've got it back.
-What's up, you fags?
Do you want a lift?
-Hello, Milena. -Hello.
-Anything new? -Your car has been found.
It burned down about 20 kilometres
from Barcelona. Probably a faulty wiring.
Here are some forms you need to fill.
It’s in Spanish but I’m sure
you'll work it out, Jiří.
-Wait. -Come on.
-Can I drive? -What?
Mind your head.
Mrs Polášková, I'll let you go today.
Thank you, bye.
-Hi, pig!
-Hi.
Emil, hurry up, we're going to the races!
Hi.
Look, what I got! It's non-flammable.
Honestly.
Look.
Oops.
Well, I was wrong.
Stay calm, GAZ 21 Volga was...
-Baleen, Baleen! Volga Baleen!
-The answer is correct.
And thanks to this answer
we are giving you two tickets
to F1 race in Barcelona.
Sorry, cut. Can we do a second run?
The graphics got stuck.
-But I've run out of confetti.
-The graphics is stuck. Do another take.
Give me back the tickets.
Don't worry, they're yours.
That's the place he landed.
See those bent trees? It was him, right?
-Have you ever arrested anyone?
-Not yet. -But you'd love to, right?
Stop eating here. This is
a police car. Look at all the crumbs.
Where am I supposed to go?
No, wrong way. Help!
Help!
Help!
This is an electronic whistle, lady.
I am a cardiac and I own a stimulator.
When attacked by a cardiac weakness and my stimulator malfunctions
-I use the whistle to call for help.
-Is it loud?
I'm trying to get hold of you.
What is going on here?
You've just participated in a police raid
which apprehended a criminal gang.
Put a rag under their bums!
Oh, yes, baby, I'm here.
Come to me. Come on.
Nice and careful.
Let your paws have some relief.
Do you want to listen to some music?
-Metal.
-Metal?