Goodbye Pork Pie (1980) - full transcript

Hey, lady. Your wallet.
Lady. Lady. Hey, your wallet!

Hope your dog dies, you snotty bitch.

Watch yourself, Gerry Austin.

Leslie Morris, that'll do me.

Just call me Les.

- Please talk. We can sort something out.
- We have talked about it, we've always talked about it...

...and it always stays the same.

- It's OK, we've cancelled.
- No, I want to go to the airport, please.

- Who ordered?
- I did.

- Who's paying?
- I am.

C'mon Sue, don't be silly. Pay him off.



- The rent's paid up until the end of the week.
- Oh, great. So I'm out on me bum.

- Well, get a job.
- I could always get a job?

Why don't I get a nice 9 to 5 job...

- ...wear a suit and a tie...
- Wear a clean shirt every day

- ...and a briefcase with my name on it.
- And a house in the country.

Oh, yes. And a gas
barbecue pit in the backyard.

And a little house at St Harrowgate...

- ...we'll play patience every day...
- That's not what I want

- ...until we pass away.
- Oh stop it!

What the hell do you want?

- Do you really want to know what I want?
- Yes!

Well, I suppose that's a start.

Hey!

I'll take care of it.



- Could I have a window seat please?
- What do you want? - Non-smoking.

- What do you want me to do? Why?
- One window seat, non-smoking.

Give up smoking.

- Your flight has been called, madam, boarding gate 3.
- Thanks.

What do you want me to do?
Cry, beg, promise something?

Dance? OK, I'll... bite.

You want me to go.

Sue.

Sue, you can't just run out on 6 years.
You promised. I need you Sue.

I just want to see her off.

- You can't go past here without a ticket.
- What do you think I'm gonna do, steal the bloody aeroplane?

Sue, wait!

You forgot your change.

Keep it.

Dear John.
That's original.

- I didn't know you were sitting here.
- Been here all night.

- Liar.
- No one's perfect.

- I am.
- I'm not.

But I'm pretty good.

I'll get it.

Hello.

- John?
- Hey Sue, I need those notes, where'd you put them?

Behind your typewriter.

Six o'clock.

Yeah, I know, sorry,
but I need those notes.

Hang on.

Yeah, got them. Thanks.

Is that all?

Hey... no.

- Sue, I'm coming down.
- Look, I won't be here.

That's a shame.

'Cause I'm coming down anyway.

- Cuppa tea?
- Thanks.

You don't have to see him, you know?
If he comes here I just won't let him in.

Don't worry. He won't get here.

Hey, you want a lift?
Or are you gonna walk?

Excuse me, mate.

- Could you tell me the bus fare to Invercargill?
- Railways buses over there, mate.

Any idea?

Forty, fifty bucks.

End of the motorway?

Couple of bucks maybe.

Top of Queen Street?

- Look. 40 cents, al right?
- Thanks.

- You, didn't have your seat belt on.
- Yes, I did.

- No, I can see, you weren't wearing one.
- Yes, I was.

Look at this.

- So. You weren't wearing one.
- Oh, yes he was.

- You keep out of this, you weren't even there.
- Yes he was.

- What's your name?
- Les Morris.

- What's yours?
- Watch it. Yours?

- Watchit Yours. Funny name.
- Must be a pom.

- Name.
- Smith. Sir.

You wear your seatbelt next time.
And you, mind your own business.

- Which way are you headed?
- Do you want a lift?

- Where are you going?
- Where are you going?

- Invercargill.
- Hop in.

Could you take me to a
rental car office please?

- Hitching all the way?
- I guess so.

- Long way.
- About a thousand miles.

Quite a way.

- Nice car.
- Brand spanking. Did a deal.

- Bloke I know.
- Funny deal. It's a rental.

Funny bloke.

Look,
I don't seem to be able to find my license.

- I'll take you as far as the next garage.
- Thanks.

He had a sort of silver jacket thing.

- Yellow cap, about this tall?
- You know him then?

Gerry Austin. No worry.
He'll soon let us know where he is.

- Where's your dunny?
- By the wall.

- Fill her up, and get us some of those flags over there.
- Right.

Pokeno Motors.

G'day.
How are you, love?

- Oh, well you're all set then.
- Yeah. Thanks.

Oh, look, hop in and I'll give
you a lift down the road a bit.

- Bloody good of you.
- Thanks.

Well, what about tonight then?

You little bastard.

No, no, not you.
Alice? Alice? Oh, shit.

- You didn't pay for the juice.
- You didn't pay for the juice.

- I didn't pay for the juice.
- I didn't pay for the juice.

We didn't pay for the juice.

There's cops all down this road.

- So?
- So cops have got radios, and this gas is stolen.

So is the car.

- It's al right, he's queer and I'm driving.
- He's just a little crazy. Where are you going?

Oh, just a little quick drive.

Right, Wanganui it is.

- Where are you two going?
- Wanganui - Invercargill.

- Going far?
- I just left Auckland this morning.

Oh, you should've given us a ring,
we just left Auckland this morning.

I was at my sister's wedding.
Really neat. I was a bridesmaid.

Terrific.

- You're not married, are you?
- No.

I can tell. I'm not married either.

Actually, I'm still a virgin.

That's nice.

I've got no future. You ask those jokers
at the Labour Department.

I'll say you haven't
if you drive like that.

- You sure can pick 'em.
- I'm still a virgin. Five bucks.

- Cocky bastard.
- You want to make it a hundred?

I thought you lost all your money.

Al right, I bet you 2 bucks I'm hanging
out of her before we reach Wanganui.

- I think you're making a mistake.
- It's my bank book, I've got to have it.

It's not that important, you could write.

Look, I'll lend you some money.

- He's not answering.
- Probably out chasing some woman.

- Better pull in the next one.
- What do we use for money?

I got an account. Okay?

You're the boss.

- G'day. Where's your dunny?
- Down the side.

Fill her up, thanks.
And give us a couple of your flags.

- Here we go. 10 dollars 50.
- Thanks, mate.

Get it off me mate, will you.

But I thought he said...

Ten fifty.

- Hey, listen, have you got a distributor cap that'd fit that thing?
- Yeah, hang on.

Let's go.

Get in. Get in, you silly bitch,
what you think you're doing?

I'm going to the ladies if you don't mind.

- Here, this is the one. $18.50 the lot.
- Let go.

What the hell were you doing?

- Why didn't you try and stop her?
- I was trying to work out what you were doing.

- He never paid! I'd have given you some money.
- If I take your money I'd have to listen to you talk.

- He's after us. Step on it.
- Stop you'll kill us!

I can't stop,
he'll have reported the petrol.

To hell with the petrol, they'll have
reported the car by now.

- I'm in a stolen car?!
- Well, sort of.

I'm in a stolen car!
With two lunatic drivers! Help!

- Stop the car! Stop the car!
- Go, you bastard.

Will everyone stop giving me orders?

- Let me out! I demand you let me out!
- Shut your face!

- Don't you talk to me like that!
- Get her off!

Oh, you mad bitch, let him go!

Let me go.

- Let me out.
- Get back here!

Keep still.

Two bucks.

What's up?

- You didn't have to do that.
- One missed is one gone forever.

- What's she doing now?
- I don't know.

You know your trouble Gerry?
You're too smart for your own good.

Hey, look. Don't you tell me what to do. I
just picked you up from the side of the road.

Remember?
It's my car.

If don't like what I do
I do, you can walk.

- I'll get my gear.
- Suit yourself.

- Yoohoo. Want a lift?
- Wake me up when we reach Wanganui.

- You coming?
- Yeah, why not?

- Why're you going to Invercargill?
- 'Cause I said I would.

Girl friend?

You gonna marry her?

- Well?
- Well? Don't be so nosy.

You're not.

Well,
I would like to know why she walked out.

I think I'll get married.

You could do it really well,
with wine and flowers...

- ...music, and all the trappings.
- Yeah, well not for me thanks.

Well, it seems to me that if you
never commit yourself to anyone...

- ...or treat anything as important then...
- Then you tell me, Shirl.

Then you're no better than an animal.

- Well you just cost me 2 bucks, so what's that make you?
- What do you mean?

Well, hotshot here reckoned you wouldn't
be a virgin by Wanganui.

You didn't. You're disgusting.

What about the grubby way you two carry on?
Anyway, get your money back.

Hey, I got it. That bitch
I screwed back in Auckland...

- Stole my dough.
- Well, she had to get something out of it.

You better give me that 2 bucks, mate.

He doesn't owe you anything. I know
what you're on about. You lost.

Whoa, get off the grass.
What was that back there then?

- Snakes and ladders?
- That? That?

- You couldn't count that.
- Oh, come on.

- You forced your attentions on me.
- Oh, she was on top.

- Anyway, it wasn't worth two bucks.
- Well, if that was rape, I'm a virgin.

- Get down.
- What?

- Police car.
- Shit.

- What's happening?
- Get down, there's a cop after us.

- What are we getting down for?
- Cause they'll be looking for 3 people in a car. OK?

There's no cop. What are you
trying to do, kill us?

Mad bitch, stop!

- Hey. Where's Wanganui?
- Back there.

Right. See ya.

I think I'll go to Wellington.

What for?

Why not?

- Hey, thanks a lot, you two.
- Hope to see you again.

Well, bye.

Come on.

- Hey, where's Mulvaney?
- Upstairs.

Hey. Up here.

Who's your friend?

Blondini. Mulvaney.

- Gidday.
- How'd you be.

- How's life.
- Good thanks.

Got some place to stay?

Thought you'd never ask.

- You still work in the railway yards?
- Nah. Not after you got busted.

I've been meaning to
talk to you about that.

214B.

- Got taste.
- Really good to see ya.

- Must be a couple of years.
- Has been.

Shall we go out on the piss, then?

- What do you reckon, Blondini?
- Sure thing.

There's only one sure thing in life,
Blondini. That's death.

I think.

- Watcha up to Blondini?
- Seen the tomato sauce?

Shirl?

Harpo!

Harpo!

Harpo. Hey, come on.
Why don't you come home with me?

Brain food.
Want some?

What about you, Mulvaney? Eggs?

He's not here.

- Mulvaney got up early.
- Yeah, I'll bet he did.

- 'Spose you can't count that one, either?
- 'Course not. I was drunk.

- Give us a ten for the ferry, will you?
- Give me a ten for the jack and the spare tyre.

- Twenty-five.
- You Leslie Morris, are you?

- Fifteen.
- Fifteen with the dash trim.

Nah,
can't take it back without the dash trim.

- You going to take it back?
- Twenty.

Twenty with the front carpet.

Al right then. Forty-five,
and you can have the radio.

The rug. The radio.

And the dash trim.
And the front carpet.

- What about the seats?
- No, I need the seats.

Come with me, Blondini.

What's this?

Swap you those, plus $10.

- Them, they're riddled.
- Like a bought one, mate.

- Plus fifteen.
- Ten.

Now let's see. Trim...

- I'll make it $60.
- I'll make it $75.

Come on, it's not even your car.
It's not even your rental. You're bogied.

- You can have the lot for that alloy head over there.
- You're joking. I wouldn't waste that in there.

Cops'd have you guys before
you got down the railway station.

Safest down by the ferry.

- Seventy. No lower.
- No.

Here you are then.
Sixty. Take that.

- Now is that a deal, or is that a deal.
- Yeah, it's a deal.

- Jesus, Mulvaney, why aren't you a millionaire?
- Too generous, pal?

- You still want a lift down the ferry?
- Yeah!

- Gerry?
- Where you going?

- Dunno.
- Hop in.

What a beautiful deal.
The money, the dope. All free.

Spot of paint, bit of boot polish
on the seats. They'll never notice.

Think they might.

- I think they might.
- Yeah, they might.

- Dope. Damn dope.
- It's good dope.

No, me. I'm a damn dope.

I was wearing this hat
when I picked up the car.

Every cop in the country will
be looking for it now.

Settle down. It's just the dope.

- You're getting paranoid.
- Nah, I've blown it.

Here. Blow on this.

Why didn't I take it back?
It's theft now. They'll put me inside.

Here's one now. Get down.
They're onto us.

- Cut it out Gerry, they're not even looking at us.
- They are, they're looking at us.

They're looking at us now.
You've crashed a red light, you goon.

Watch the road, you crazy prick!

Shit! He's turned his lights on.

That's cause they'll have
checked the plates by now.

May as well pull over.

Hey, this is a one-way street!

I think I've lost it.

- Well there goes my boat, Blondini.
- Like hell!

...I'll stop.

- What's wrong, Blondini?
- I'm Gerry Austin.

- Come on, Gerry, drive the car.
- Come on, what are you?

- We're wasting our time.
- That was amazing quick thinking.

- I don't think.
- Instinct.

I've got it.
Stay level with this carriage.

He's crazy.

It's empty. We'll stick the car in here.

There's a ramp about
half a mile up the track.

- Get up there and line up.
- But I'll kill myself.

You can do it.

- Come on Gerry.
- I'll kill you too, you silly bitch.

Go!

Think I'm crazy!

Cordoned off the railway yards. They
won't be getting out of here in a hurry.

And then, zap! Some pooftie joker
with wings and a long nightie comes down...

...and the poor joker's
gotta save the world.

- So?
- So how do you know I'm not Groucho Blondini?

Oh, you're too good-looking.

- Anyway, who'd have a name like Groucho Blondini?
- Who'd have a name like Jesus Christ?

- What's wrong with Gerry Austin?
- Gerry Austin? Who's Gerry Austin?

- Blondini!
- Gerry, you'll fall.

- Get down, you stupid prick.
- Let go or I'll jump.

What's the matter?
Are you frightened?

Ya half-arse.

You want to rave?
Jump up on the rail.

I'm taking that car to Invercargill.
All the way.

But you'll never make it.
You're a half-arse.

- You didn't have to say that.
- Well, some one had to.

Careful, Blondini. You shoot one of those
albatrosses and they'll throw you overboard.

Ancient mariner. Poem.

- You read poetry, Gerry?
- Sure.

- You do not.
- Yeah, I do.

When do you read poetry?

- Oh,
I read one downstairs on the dunny wall.

- Shouldn't we try and find him?
- To hell with him, let him find us.

Mister Blondini, I presume.

Good afternoon sir, ma'am.

Could I have a look at your license,
please?

Do you have the license?
What's the story?

Just a routine inspection, sir.

Shut up, you kids!
Cut it out! Cut it out! Stop it!

Thank you.

- Finished? Look, we're in a bit of a hurry.
- Thank you.

- Have a great holiday.
- Yeah, great.

"...the following describes a person, goes by the name of Gerry
Austin. caucasian male, 5 foot 9 tall, aged approximately 19 years..."

"He's wanted in connection
with stealing a rental..."

- Hi!
- Gidday.

- Starting to look good.
- Give us another one.

- Lovely, aren't they?
- If you like that sort of wallpaper.

Gives the place a little class.

Good one.

- Perhaps we'll see a UFO.
- Could be. They seem to like this coast.

- You don't believe in all that bullshit, do ya?
- People do see them.

Yeah, and I got an auntie who sees
pink elephants. What d'ya reckon?

Christ only knows what's out there.

So I opened up the wallet. And there
it was. This license, see.

And some dough. But mainly this license.

Leslie Morris,
25 TennisCourt Road, Remuera.

So, I said to myself, I said to myself,
I mean, Gerry, I mean Les, my boy...

Here's a ticket to a lifestyle
you never had.

And I haven't?
I never had nothing.

I reckon she's always had everything.

So, I'm just having a go.
Well, I reckon that's fair.

Say cheese.

There's another one!

We're the only humans, fuck!

No! It's the phantom wanker.
But we got to see some g'days.

He got me!

Hey, you jokers!

You want some of this?

Good morning, Mister Blondini.

How's my beautiful virgin?

What's wrong?

I'm sorry, I think I'm going
to have to count that one.

I'm the first.

Now - I'm gonna be - the second.

Hang on.

- I've got something for you.
- Yeah, I know.

No, a present.

Shirl, I don't know what to say.

It's the first thing I've ever nicked.

You sure give a good head, Shirl.

- What's happening?
- We're moving. - Moving.

They're making up the West Coast train.

Anyone for breakfast?

Oh, yeah.

- She'll be going through to Middleton by 9 tonight.
- Oh good, that means we've got all day.

Blondini escapes again?

I've told you before, they've got
my description. They'll recognize me.

Shall we get some disguises?

Where the hell is she?

- Dunno. Shopping, she said.
- Yeah? Well she should be here by now.

- You're missing her, are you?
- Oh, don't be stupid.

Yeah.

Hey, look.

Er, could you tell us the time?

Shit, let's get out of here.

It's gone.
Someone's stolen it.

No, it'll be part of the West Coast train.
Come on.

Hokitika, boy.
This is the one. Come on.

Greymouth.
This is us, boy.

Shirl? Shirl?

Thing, what?
Well, I'll be d-d-d-

Shit! She's only got a few minutes.

She can't find the damned thing.
I'll go back to where it was.

- We're pulling out. You're gonna miss it.
- No, I won't.

Shirl.

- Shirl?
- Pardon.

Shit!

Come on, Blondini.

You poxy half-witted pie-eyed
slob-gobbling slag-heap.

You missed the bloody train!

She missed it.

- Very nice. Here's to Shirl.
- Silly bitch.

May be she lost her watch.

She's crazy, isn't she?

Like a pissed chook.

We've gotta get out of this thing, mate.
Gives me the creeps.

We're taking that car to Invercargill, boy.

I'll drink to that.

Thanks.

Hey, don't look now, but there's a chap
over there keeps looking at you.

Blue suit.

No, thanks.

With this new head
she'll pull like a schoolboy.

Shirl, you're a beauty!

- Isn't Shirl a beauty?
- Sure.

I's the first, you know.

Hundred and first, more like.

No wonder your sheila left ya. You don't
understand the way they talk, I mean...

...can't you see she only
counts the ones that count?

Hey! Hear that hooter!

I'm gonna get one of those.

Pull over, driver.
Pull over on the side of the road.

- Name.
- What was I doing?

- Speeding. 90 k's.
- That's not very fast.

Checked at one kilometer...

...and...

...faulty windscreen wipers.

- Name?
- Annette Franklin.

- Address?
- 17 Cressy Street.

Look. You don't have to
give me a ticket, do you?

Lady, I don't make the rules,
I just enforce them.

You break them,
I book you. Occupation?

But I've got lots of tickets at home.

Several dozen.

What'll I do,
I'll lose my license at this rate.

- You could try writing a letter of explanation.
- Please don't.

- Isn't three a day enough for you?
- Annette!

You know I'm hopeless if we
don't do the whole thing.

Hurry up then.

Housewife.

"Control 10-1 to all mobiles."

"Be on the lookout for the
following stolen rental mini"

"1978 model, colour yellow,
registration number: India zulu 6393."

"The vehicle was last seen
in Wellington railway yards."

"The occupants of the car
were wearing..."

Phil, it's hundreds of miles away.

Yeah.

Right.

- Stop!
- No, don't stop!

- But that's it!
- No, it's not!

This is the Mini.

What the heck,
I've gotta have my hands.

Is that cop pulling out?

Nah.

Oh, yes he is.

Why do I bother?

- Let him catch up a bit?
- Yeah, then we'll be able to try this thing out on him.

What happened to him?

I dunno.

Why didn't he take that corner back there?

I put the seat belt
through the steering wheel.

- It's closed, mate.
- Hang on.

Come on.

If it's open, I want a cup of tea.

Tea.

Milk and sugar, dear?

"Meanwhile in the South Island police are
investigating a case with surprising developments."

"In Greymouth today a bizarre decorated railway
goods wagon was discovered by railway yardsmen."

"Police believe there may be some connection with an
unusual shoplift incident in Christchurch yesterday ."

"A young woman was arrested after walking out of the chemists
shop without paying for photographs she'd had developed."

- "When police arrived she sat waiting..."
- Shirl

"...in a taxi with $5000 worth
of stolen goods" - I love ya.

"After checking the photographs police discovered
what they believe to be her accomplices..."

"...in an apparent holiday of crime."

"Police also believe the young woman
arrested this morning..."

- "...had spent a day on a shopping spree..."
- That's us

- "...intending to furnish the railway goods wagon found at Greymouth."
- Yeah, on tele.

Moan and complain all the bloody way.

Be quiet.

You'll get one in a minute.

Shop!

"...a dangerous driving incident
at the Wellington Railway station..."

Put that down!

- Serve them. - What?
- Serve them. - OK.

Just can't be trusted with anything.
Doreen, look after them will ya.

There as bad as those
Blondini hooligans.

- Al right?
- Yeah...

Where did you come from?

Down the cellar, the dog made a mess, had to
clean it up, it's the third time this week.

Listen,
could I have 3 ice creams in a cone...

- ...and, tea for two...
- 3 ice creams.

Oh, the bread's here.
Excuse me.

In there.

Are you the owner of that
yellow Mini out there?

No, it's hers.

Gerry.

Hey, Gerry. You stupid prick.

Gerry, you silly prick,
where are you?

I'm gonna die.

Hear that, Big Bird?
He's gonna die.

You reckon he ought to
learn to live first.

Oh, I guess that's it then.

We're gonna crap out!

"Cold, Mike?"
Yeah, brass monkeys.

- Any more?
- "If they were coming they would have been through about 4 hours ago."

- "You might as well come in".
- No, I'm staying.

Suit yourself.

Gidday, how are ya?

Joy ride's over, fellers.

Mister Blondini to you.

I'm not moving.

- No?
- No.

So save yourself a lot of trouble.

No trouble.

No?

Forty seven?

Looks like I've got a bit of a chase on my hands.
Could you block off the road at Hawea? Out.

With these hills and corners
we'll rip the shit out of him.

That big tanker is designed
for the long Aussie straight.

Then you'd better tell him that.

That big Aussie tanker
seems to be doing OK.

- Where is he? Where is he?
- He'd be up your exhaust if he could fit.

Al right, sonny, pull over.

Come on, forget it, pull over.

Oh, boy, is he good! Come on.

Come on, sonny,
you're not doing yourself any good.

Come on, pull over,
we don't want anyone getting hurt.

Christ! We've got a cowboy here.

Christ! He's gonna kill us.

I knew it. I told you we
were gonna crap out.

This guy's too good.

Well you're good too, Blondini,
so don't talk. Just drive. Come on.

- Down the bank!
- You've done it this time, boy.

- You OK?
- Piss off.

No, come on, I want to know if you're hurt.
Don't be a bloody hero, are you hurt?

I think my leg's broken.

He's OK. Only a busted leg.

Hey, you can really hold the wheel.
You really pushed it.

"Come in, 47."

Hey! Gidday.

"Who's this?
47?"

- Blondini.
- "Your call sign please."

Hey, one of your guys is
out here with a busted leg.

- "Whereabouts are you?"
- Oh, Christ, I dunno. - Lake Hawea road.

Lake Hawa road.

Hey, you're really good.

"Come in please, 47."
I'll see ya.

- In court.
- Not me.

- Come on.
- Look after him, will ya.

I know you. You're the Blondini gang.

Hey Groucho, do you hear this?
The Blondini gang.

Everybody knows about you blokes.

They'll get you boy. You got no hope.

- Yeah. Well, how much for the doors?
- Five dollars.

- Hey, Groucho, how much are these doors worth?
- Take the money!

Al right, 5 bucks. Each.

- How much for all this lot?
- Six dollars.

- And the grill?
- Five dollars for the grill.

- Hey, steady on, we're gonna need that.
- S'alright, we'll crash start the bitch.

- Ten dollars. Is that the lot.
- Here, don't leave yourself short.

- That'll be...
- Thirty one bucks.

- Thirty one. Make it thirty?
- That's big of you.

Come on, take the money. Hurry up.

Mean bugger, I bet his arse
sqeaks when he walks.

It's full, too.

Hello, Sue. It's me.

- I called in at Tony's today. How have you been?
- OK.

Got an interview this afternoon.

- Oh, that's a surprise, which one?
- Louis' secretary. Hold on, I'll turn this down.

"A police officer was admitted to hospital this morning
suffering from a broken leg after his patrol car..."

"...left the Lake Hawea road. His car was pushed off
the road by the Blondini gang, who are now believed..."

"... enclosed in the
Alexandra Terrace region."

"A large police contingent
has sealed off the area...".

- Sue, are you al right?
- "...and are confident of an early arrest."

"There will be a further news update
on our 3 o'clock news."

He won't be able to pester you now.

Alexandra Terrace.

- Where's Alexandra Terrace?
- Way back there.

Gee, how do we do it?

Is he waving at us?

Hey, hey. It's the Blondini gang, innit?

Hey, hey. Listen, I'm on your side?

- Do we want him on our side?
- Well, he doesn't look like a cop.

- Are you a cop?
- Me, a cop? No way, man.

No, listen, I just want to help you?

He wants to help us.

Stop the car, will ya. Stop it.

Shit, you guys had me worried.

- How'd you know it was us?
- Saw you on telly.

It's a great disguise,
it's just, you can sorta tell.

Hey, the cops are waiting for you
further up - on the motorway.

How do we get past?

I'll show you.

I'll just get me bike.

Fantastic, man.
Me with the Blondini gang. Too much.

Hey, you've really got this thing souped
up like this. Beautiful. Beautiful.

Hey, I'd really like a piece
of this for my wall.

Hey! Sell me a piece for my wall?

Hey, you guys are heros you know.

No, no, straight up.
The whole country's watching you.

Hey. Which of you is Blondini?

- He is - He is.
- Too much. Fantastic!

Where's my bike?
You broke up my bike.

No worry. I've got plenty. I've got plenty.

Hey. Sell me a piece of the car?
Sell me a piece?

Beer? Beer!

Hey. I'm Snout.

C'mon, c'mon. Here. Come here.

This. Hey this. Is Alice.

- You can have the bonnet.
- The bonnet, that's terrific.

I'll stick it up there.
With the others.

- How much?
- Expensive.

What? Fifty? Sixty?

A hundred, man. I gotta have it.
I'll stick it right up there.

You got that kind of dough?

Come on man, have I got that kind of dough?
With all this shit?

- It's yours.
- It's mine!

Hey, Alice!

Hey, Alice. I got the bonnet. For
a hundred bucks. Isn't that great?

Isn't it great? Say it's great. Say it's
great, or I'll blow your bloody brains out.

- Take it easy.
- Or dead.

Click.

I haven't got any more bullets.
What do you think I am, crazy?

Hey, hey. Sorry, man. Sorry.

Sit down, sit down.

Hey, the Blondini gang
I'm with you.

Hey look, I'm sorry, sorry.

What say we deal?

I don't want to give you a sticker.

Don't wanna give ya-
Don't wanna give you a sticker.

Alice?

Alice? Alice want the pretty flags?

How much?

Nah, I'm not selling them

$250

Nah.

Three!

What do you say, Groucho?

Four!

Plus the gun.

What's your problem, Gerry?

The flags. When we stop
getting the flags, we're finished.

- Five. Now that's my last offer.
- They're his flags.

Hey. What're you doing, man?

Now don't hassle me.
Alice wants those flags.

And don't be uncool.

I been good to you guys.

OK, OK. Plus. Plus...

Plus the Red Baron.

Oh, what the hell.
Give him what he wants.

Oh, that's too much!
Alice! Alice! That's far out!

Say it's great,
or I'll blow your brains out.

- What's eating you?
- Snout. I know him.

Sunday school.

- He's on a picture on the wall.
- Jesus Christ.

No. Judas. I know I used
to study that bastard.

- Forget him. He's crazy.
- He's evil. He took our flags.

Yeah, he took our flags.
And he gave us this money.

You're getting paranoid again. Gerry.

Just drive. Okay?

Okay.

That's it, the Blondini gang.
Yeah, yeah.

No shit, man.

Invercargill. Yeah.

Yeah, they had a 44 magnum
lever action repeater. Yeah.

Hey? Yeah.

It's no good, I can't.

- I feel it here.
- Where?

You take the money, hitch.
I'll decoy. You'll make it.

Cut 'em off at the pass?

There's only two ways to fix your guts,
Blondini.

- One, ditch the car.
- No way.

Then drive it to Invercargill.

Right.

Well, we'll have to get rid of the exhaust.

Blondini...

Through what?

What a way to go.

I wanna go to the dunny.
That ought to get rid of some weight.

- How long do you reckon they'll be.
- Oh, dunno. Don't reckon they'll even get this far.

You'll go blind.

Gidday.

Er, give us a banana milkshake.
With an egg in it. And a Gold Pack.

- Banana?
- Thanks.

- Hi George.
- G'day.

Oh, this came for you about an hour ago.

Hey! Hey stop!

There he goes.

C'mon, Gerry, the cops are here.

Oh. Sorry.

Gerry!

Let's break.
Here you are.

And now I musn't reveal my secret identity.

Are you Gerry Austin.
No. Blondini.

Must be the other one.
Here we've got one of them.

You hang onto him,
I'll get the car.

I told you we shouldn't sell the flags.

- Where's your mate going?
- That way.

Like that, is it?

They got a gun in that car. Down!

Blondini!

After them!

Let's go!

Get in!

What?

Get in you stupid bastard, I can't get
any speed with you up there.

No, man, I'm riding the bitch.

You're gonna break your stupid bloody neck.

Come on, you buggers.
Wankers, wankers, wankers.

Oh, Gerry, your stupid fantasies.

- Stop.
- You hit the car!

- He's dead.
- Come here!

He's still breathing.
Get on the radio and call an ambulance.

- Go on.
- Move it!

It's all yours, Blondini.

Gerry. Come on, don't mess me about.

I hate to interrupt,
but your car's on the run.

Piss off.

Goodbye pork pie.

Hi! Bring the car up.

- Quick! Help me with the body.
- Don't touch him. It's a boy, he's not dead.

Shift the truck!

Shift the truck!

Come on, shift the truck.

Lighten up.

Fast!

It's overweight.
Only one of us now.

I'm taking this bloody car...

...to Invercargill, boy.

Like you say, Groucho...

...nothing half-arsed.

- I think there's only one of them now.
- What happened?

- I think one of them caught it.
- Oh, shit.

Right, take your positions.
You there, you over there.

Travel right back.
We must have this area clear.

- First kill, asshole?
- Everybody right back, please.

- Break to four.
- Come in.

Bird on 4 with a word on
some action on dead centre.

The cops are aiming to
bury the Blondini gang.

Everybody get right back.

All you people are gonna move now.

Move, move, move!

- You gonna splatter his brains all over the car, son?
- Just get out, will ya?

Come on, keep on going.
Keep on moving back.

Come on now.

Okay.

Ready.

Aim.

Fire!

Put a speed on.

Let him through, let him through!

He's here.

Gidday.

- What have you done?
- She heard some noise out the back.

Surprised?

Pleased?

Oh, boy.

He's not in the car.
He's gotta be here somewhere.

You take that place.

That man is in there with my sister.

God, he's got a hostage in there.

You men, hold your positions.

Al right, Blondini.

We know you're in there.

We have the building surrounded.
There are police at every exit.

Put down your weapon
and come out immediately.

Gotta be coming.

Come on Blondini. Release your hostage, and
come outside with your hands over your head.

Don't make things any worse for yourself.

Hey, Sue. We've got visitors.

Are you decent?

I love you.

No,
not you. You're a nice looking boy though.

Hang on, hang on, ladies first.

Er, Sue?

I guess I'll be paying for this ride.