Goodbye Lover (1998) - full transcript

[LAUGHS]

I COULD HARDLY KEEP MY HANDS
OFF YOU THE OTHER DAY.

YOU LOOKED SO DELICIOUS.

I WANTED TO EAT YOU ALL UP.

I'M NAKED, BEN.

I'M NAKED AND BEING SO BAD.

PERHAPS YOU OUGHT TO SPANK ME.

I PICKED UP SOME OLIVES
FOR YOU, BABY.

SOME BIG, SOFT, JUICY
PITTED OLIVES.

PINK PIMENTOS.

Man on tape: IT'S LIKE YOU'RE
NOT DOING IT TO BE SUCCESSFUL,



YOU'RE NOT DOING IT
TO MAKE SOME MONEY,

YOU LOVE ALL THOSE
ADDITIONAL THINGS THAT HAPPEN.

WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS BECAUSE
OF WHAT YOU LOVE,

AND IT GETS YOU UP EARLY,
IT KEEPS YOU UP LATE,

AND YOU NOTICE THINGS,
AND YOU HAVE AN IMPACT,

AND YOU HAVE A SENSE
OF CONTRIBUTION,

AND LIFE IS REALLY JOYOUS.

AND MOST PEOPLE
NEVER EXPERIENCE THAT

BECAUSE THEY NEVER FIND
THEIR REAL DRIVE.

THEY'RE CAUGHT UP
IN MAKING A LIVING

INSTEAD OF DESIGNING A LIFE.

THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY REALLY WANT,

SO THEY DON'T REALLY
TAP IN TO THEIR DRIVE.

THEY DON'T DISCOVER
WHAT THEY'RE CAPABLE OF...



Woman in sync with tape: BUT I
REALLY GET YOU TO FOLLOW THROUGH

AS MUCH AS I CAN

BY TEASING YOU
AND PUSHING YOU

AND GETTING YOU TO TAKE
THE LITTLE STEPS.

AND AS YOU BUILD ONE STEP
ON THE DAY BEFORE,

ON TOP OF THE NEXT DAY,
ON TOP OF THE NEXT DAY,

AT THE END OF 30 DAYS,
YOU'VE MADE A HUGE CHANGE.

Man on tape: IT'S A GREAT SENSE
OF PRIDE, HONESTLY,

BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE
I'VE COME FROM.

Woman in sync with tape:
I STARTED OUT

IN A LITTLE 4-INCH-SQUARE
BACHELOR APARTMENT,

FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF,
THINKING NOTHING COULD CHANGE,

FEELING MAD AT THE WORLD
AND MY PAST.

UM, BUT FORTUNATELY,
I WAS ABLE TO CHANGE,

AND THE CHANGE CAME FROM

NOT BEING WILLING TO SETTLE
FOR THAT ANYMORE,

KNOWING THAT INSIDE I WAS MUCH
MORE THAN WHAT I WAS LIVING,

MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY
AND SPIRITUALLY,

AND I WAS ABLE TO FIND
MY PASSION.

Man on tape: THAT'S WHAT
MOST PEOPLE HAVEN'T DONE--

THEY DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY REALLY WANT

SO THEY DON'T REALLY TAP IN
TO THEIR DRIVE,

THEY DON'T DISCOVER WHAT
THEY'RE CAPABLE OF.

Woman: SO THAT'LL BE
ALL RIGHT.

THEN WE'LL JUST HAVE
THE CHOIR PRACTICE

I THINK NEXT SUNDAY.

Man: OH, SANDRA!
HOW'S THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS?

Sandra: OH, FINE.
ARE YOU LOOKING?

NO, NO, NO. I COULDN'T
BEGIN TO AFFORD

THE KIND OF HOUSES
YOU HANDLE.

NEITHER CAN MOST OF THE
PEOPLE WE SELL THEM TO.

I BROUGHT YOUR
SHEET MUSIC.

FOR THE FUNDRAISER?
GREAT!

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THEM
UP TO BEN?

OK.

[MAGNIFICATPLAYING]

[WHISPERS] It's Bach,
your favorite.

HE'S SUCH A MASTER.

MAGNIFICENT.

[CHOIR SINGING]

UTTERLY!

HA HA! AND THRUST!

[GASPING]

ENCORE, BEN,
ENCORE!

Woman: ICON-AGE, PUBLIC
RELATIONS AND ADVERTISING.

ICON-AGE, HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

ONE MOMENT, PLEASE.

GOOD MORNING, MR. DUNMORE.

WHAT?

GOOD MORNING.

OH, MAYBE FOR YOU.

ICON-AGE,
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?

Man: IF WE COULD HAVE A LEGACY,
WE WOULD WANT IT TO BE THIS.

WE WOULD WANT PEOPLE
TO SAY,

"OLYMPIA HAS REUNITED GOLFERS
WITH THEIR SHORT GAME."

THAT WOULD MAKE US HAPPY...

OH, GOD, JAKE.

GOOD MORNING, PEGGY.
DEAR PEG.

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU FELL
OFF THE BACK OF A TRUCK.

THANK YOU.
YOU LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL.

THE MEETING STARTED
15 MINUTES AGO.

DAMN. AM I ONLY
15 MINUTES LATE?

I TRIED TO TIME IT

SO I'D MISS AT LEAST
HALF AN HOUR.

HOLD STILL.

PEG, I LIVE
FOR YOUR TOUCH.

GET IN THERE AND TRY NOT
TO PUKE ON MR. BRADLEY.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

I THINK YOU'RE
ALREADY MARRIED.

I AM? OH, YEAH,
RIGHT. I AM.

WELL, MAYBE LATER.

MORNING, EVERYBODY.

SORRY I'M LATE, SIR.

Jake: SORRY, EVERYONE. SORRY.

HAD ONE OF THOSE ELECTRIC--

WELL, NOW THAT THE ENTIRE
BRAIN TRUST IS PRESENT,

WE CAN GET DOWN TO
THE BUSINESS AT HAND--

SENATOR LASSITER.

Ben: ROY HAD THE MISFORTUNE

OF BEING CAUGHT
IN A RATHER...

LESS-THAN-HONORABLE
POSITION LAST NIGHT.

YOU THINK HIS
POSITION WAS BAD?

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE
THE HOOKER

WHO WAS SUCKING
HIM OFF?

THANK YOU, JAKE.

KEVIN--CAN WE GET
TO THE GIRL?

WELL, MY KIND OF
THINKING WAS--

THE GIRL WAS A GUY.

LET'S NOT KID OURSELVES.
WE ALL SAW THE PICTURE, RIGHT?

SHE HAD A FIVE O'CLOCK SHADOW,
AN ADAM'S APPLE,

AND A SEMPER FITATTOO.

[SIGHS]
WELL...

WE GOT TO FLOAT
A DISTRACTION.

WE GOT TO POSITION IT
SO THAT JOE PUBLIC

DOESN'T KNOW WHICH BALL
TO KEEP HIS EYE ON.

NOT UNLIKE
THE SENATOR.

WHAT ARE
THE ALTERNATIVES?

MIKE--THE SENATOR
WAS TIPPED TO HEAD

THE FOREIGN AFFAIRS
COMMITTEE.

Mike: THAT'S RIGHT.

KEVIN?

HOW ABOUT HE'S QUIETLY
TURNING DOWN THE OFFER

TO BECOME COMMISSIONER
OF BASEBALL?

HE'S NEVER EVEN
SEEN A GAME.

GARY, WHAT HAVE
WE GOT?

OK, WELL,
HOW ABOUT, UM--

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT,
GARY?

UH--GARY, WHAT HAVE
YOU GOT?

GODDAMN IT!

WHAT THE HELL? WE'VE GOT
TO FIND SOMETHING

THAT HUMANIZES
THIS BASTARD!

I HAVE--SORRY.

UM, FROM 1993, ACTUALLY,
HE'S SAYING THAT

MRS. LASSITER HAS BEEN
FIGHTING BREAST CANCER.

NOW,
THAT'S GOOD.

THANKS.

PEOPLE WORRY, JAKE,
THAT IT'S A DANGEROUS--

YEAH, YEAH, DANGEROUS
AND SHITTY WORLD.

AND IT IS OUR JOB...

SAFE AND CLEAN, BEN.

TO MAKE IT LOOK
SAFE AND CLEAN.

WE KNOW--
IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

HEY, I GOT IT,
I GOT IT.

WE SAY THAT THE SENATOR
IS CONDUCTING

A SERIES OF TESTS
ON THE TRICKLE-DOWN THEORY

IN THE MEN'S ROOM
OF THE SHERATON.

JAKE!

GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE.

I KNOW.

Woman: ♪ WHEN I'M WITH HER
I'M CONFUSED ♪

♪ OUT OF FOCUS
AND BEMUSED ♪

♪ AND I NEVER KNOW
EXACTLY WHERE I AM ♪

Second woman:
♪ UNPREDICTABLE AS WEATHER

Third woman: ♪ SHE'S AS
FLIGHTY AS A FEATHER ♪

♪ SHE'S A DARLING

♪ SHE'S A DEMON

♪ SHE'S A LAMB

♪ SHE'LL NOT PESTER ANY PEST

♪ DRIVE A HORNET FROM ITS NEST

♪ SHE CAN THROW A
WHIRLING DERVISH OUT OF WHIRL ♪

♪ SHE IS GENTLE,
SHE IS WISE ♪

♪ SHE'S A RIDDLE,
SHE'S A CHILD ♪

♪ SHE'S A HEADACHE

♪ SHE'S AN ANGEL

♪ SHE'S A GIRL

♪ OH, HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM
LIKE MARIA? ♪

♪ HOW DO YOU HOLD
A MOONBEAM... ♪

Woman: IT'S
VERY SIMPLE TO DO.

JUST CHOOSE TOMATOES THAT ARE
THE NICEST YOU CAN FIND.

Sandra: HOW DOES
SHE DO IT?

BEN? BEN?

I'VE JUST BEEN ON THE
PHONE WITH THE MERRITTS,

AND I SUGGESTED THAT
SENATOR LASSITER--

OH, SORRY. WHAT?

I'M SORRY.

DO YOU--DO YOU
HAVE A SECOND?

OH, SURE. YEAH.

I SUGGESTED THAT SENATOR
LASSITER SPEAK AT THE--

THANK YOU--FUNDRAISER,

AND, UM, I SAID THAT
HIS PRESENCE THERE

WOULD ATTRACT A LOT OF
ATTENTION IN THE PRESS,

AND I POINTED OUT
THAT HE WAS

A DEVOUT FAMILY MAN.

GOOD.

WE'VE GOT TO DO
SOMETHING ABOUT JAKE.

[SIGHS]
WHAT CAN I DO?

WE'VE GOT TO GET HIM
CLEANED UP.

I KNOW YOU'VE DONE
EVERYTHING YOU CAN,

IT'S JUST HIS--

HIS BEHAVIOR IS
AFFECTING EVERYONE.

I SEE HOW IT'S
BRINGING YOU DOWN.

I JUST THINK YOU'RE
SUCH A GREAT GUY, BEN.

THANK YOU, PEGGY.

I'LL TALK TO HIM
TOMORROW.

THE BEST THING
FOR JAKE RIGHT NOW

IS TO STAY HOME AND...

SLEEP IT OFF.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Ben: HELLO?

SANDRA?

[SANDRA GASPING]

[GLASS TINKLING]

YEAH!

YEAH!

YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!

YEAH! AH!

Newswoman: ...RESIDENTS
ARE ON ALERT TONIGHT

AS THE ALLEGED SERIAL KILLER,
"THE DOCTOR,"

HAS APPARENTLY CLAIMED
ANOTHER VICTIM.

COMING UP--

YOU SHOULD TALK TO
JAKE.

GET HIM TO GO BACK
INTO REHAB.

WE'VE ALREADY BEEN
THROUGH THAT ONE, BEN.

THE FIRST TIME
HE OPENED A WINDOW

AND RAN AWAY,

AND THE SECOND TIME
HE GOT A LITTLE BUDDY

TO SMUGGLE HIM IN
A CASE OF REMY.

[SIGHS] WHAT THE HELL
ARE WE DOING?

IS THAT A RHETORICAL QUESTION?

NO.

IN THAT CASE, AHEM--

I AM ACTING OUT A SERIES

OF DEEP-SEATED
SEXUAL FANTASIES...

AND YOU ARE FUCKING
YOUR BROTHER'S WIFE.

YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT IT WOULD DO TO HIM

IF HE FOUND OUT
ABOUT US?

HE'S UNSTABLE ENOUGH
AS IT IS.

IT'D KILL HIM.

THAT WOULDBE HORRIBLE.

I COULDN'T LIVE
WITH MYSELF.

WELL...

WE'D BETTER BE READY, THEN.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

LOTS OF THINGS
CAN HAPPEN.

MAYBE...

YOU SHOULD MAKE THEM
HAPPEN, HMM?

DO YOU HEAR
WHAT I'M SAYING,

HMM?

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

I HEAR WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING.

I'VE GOT TO GET
OUT OF HERE.

[DOG BARKING]

[CAR HORN HONKS]

WHAT THE HELL
IS THAT?

OH, MY GOD.
THEY'RE BACK.

W-WELL, I--I THOUGHT
YOU SAID

THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO
BE IN PALM SPRINGS.

THEY WERE.

OH, MY GOD!

GOD.

OH, CHRIST ALMIGHTY.
GET ME OUT OF THIS THING.

COME ON, GET ME OUT
OF THIS THING.

GIVE ME THE KEY.
WHERE'S THE KEY?WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
WHERE'S THE KEY?

I DON'T HAVE
THE DAMN KEY!

YOU DON'T HAVE THE KEY?

HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU
NOT HAVE THE KEY?

LIFT IT UP,
LIFT IT.

YEAH, GOOD IDEA.

HOW DO I GET IT OFF
MY GODDAMN WRIST?

[SANDRA GIGGLES]

Woman: HELLO?

HELLO?

SANDRA, IS THAT
YOUR CAR?

YOO-HOO.

OH, IT ISYOUR CAR.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I WANTED TO SHOW THE CLIENT
THE HOUSE AGAIN AT NIGHT.

I THINK
HE REALLY LIKES IT.

MR. SPENDER!

I WAS JUST SHOWING HIM
THE WINE CELLAR.

Ben: HELLO.

MR. AND MRS. BRODSKY,
WHOSE LOVELY HOUSE THIS IS.

YOU HAVE A VERY,
VERY LOVELY HOUSE.

OH, THANK YOU.

I ADORE IT,

BUT MR. BRODSKY
IS DETERMINED

TO MOVE BACK
TO HAWAII.

AREN'T YOU,
DEAR?

ISN'T THAT
A COINCIDENCE?

HA HA HA!

THAT'S WHERE
MR. SPENDER'S FROM.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT,
MR. SPENDER?

[GIGGLES]

YES.

OH, WOW!

WHICH ISLAND,
MR. SPENDER?

ALL OF THEM.

HA HA HA!

HA HA HA!

HEH HEH.

WHAT DO
YOU MEAN?

HE GREW UP
ON A BOAT.

WASN'T THAT IT?

HA!

YEAH.

JESUS CHRIST!

TELL ME AGAIN, WHY AM I
TAKING THESE CHANCES?

BECAUSE YOU CAN'T
HELP YOURSELF.

DON'T FORGET WHAT
WE TALKED ABOUT.

WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT YOUR
BROTHER'S KEEPER.

Man: AH, MR. MERRITT.

EUNICE AND I ARE HONORED
TO MEET YOU, SIR.

Merritt: HOW DO YOU LIKE
THE DIPPY DOLL, SENATOR?

THEY'RE UNBELIEVABLE.
QUITE UNBELIEVABLE.

GOOD. THEY PAID FOR
ALL OF THIS.

[LAUGHTER]

MY WIFE AND I
WOULD LOVE

TO HAVE YOU
OVER SOMETIME...

TO READ SCRIPTURE.

WELL...SOUNDS LIKE
A PLAN.

IS THAT IT?

THAT'S IT.
OK, GO, GO.

WELL, YOU KNOW,
MR. MERRITT,

IN THIS DECADE
OF MORAL DECAY,

IT'S LEFT UP TO
JUST A FEW OF US

TO KEEP OUR FINGERS
IN THE DIKE.

QUITE.

THE FAMILY THAT PLAYS TOGETHER
STAYS TOGETHER.

YEAH.

I THINK
HE'S IMPRESSED.

OH.

I'm not wearing
any underwear.

JESUS, SANDRA,
NOT HERE.

Jake: MR. MERRITT.

GOD BLESS YOU,
REVEREND. PEG.

WHO DO HAVE TO EAT OUT
TO GET A REAL DRINK AROUND HERE?

OH, SENATOR.

I'M SURE YOU ENJOY
FRUIT PUNCH.

AHEM. SENATOR.
MRS. LASSITER.

YOU REMEMBER
MY BROTHER JAKE.

OF COURSE.

HOW DO YOU DO?

AND HIS LOVELY
WIFE SANDRA.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

JAKE, YOU DIDN'T
TELL ME THE SENATOR

WAS SO GOOD-LOOKING
IN PERSON.

MRS. LASSITER, KEEP
YOUR EYE ON HIM.

HE'S TROUBLE.

NO, NO, NO.
EUNICE AND I

ARE DEVOTED
TO EACH OTHER.

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU
GET STEAK AT HOME,

YOU DON'T GO OUT
FOR BURGERS.

HA HA HA HA!

BEST STEAK I EVER HAD WAS
AT THE DOWNTOWN SHERATON.

SENATOR...

I JUST REMEMBERED...
THERE'S SOMEONE

I'VE BEEN DYING
FOR YOU TO MEET.

MRS. LASSITER,
WILL YOU JOIN US?

SURE.
THANKS.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US.

Man: ...TWO MONTHS--YES.

TWO MONTHS IN THE AMAZON
THIS WINTER.

Woman: THAT LONG?
YES.

WHAT THE FUCK IS
YOUR PROBLEM, JAKE?

YOU WANT THAT
ALPHABETICALLY

OR BY SIZE?

BEN, YOU'VE GOT TO
PROMISE ME SOMETHING.

IF ANYTHING
HAPPENS TO ME,

I WANT YOU TO
LOOK AFTER SANDRA.

THE FUCK ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

SHE'S MY GUARDIAN
ANGEL, BEN.

SHE'D DO ANYTHING
FOR ME.

THANKS.

I LOVE YOU, BEN.

Choir:
♪ FOLLOW EVERY RAINBOW

♪ TILL YOU FIND YOUR DREAM...

HOW'D IT GO
WITH MERRITT?

UM...WE'RE MAKING
PROGRESS.

HA HA HA HA.

COME ON, LET'S GO EAT
DOWN BY THE POOL.

WE'LL MISS
THE ENTERTAINMENT.

I HATE THIS SONG.

DON'T YOU HATE
THIS SONG?

IF YOU DO.

I REALLYHATE
THIS SONG.

♪ CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN...

[PEGGY LAUGHING]

[CLASSICAL MUSIC CHIMING]

Peggy: I CAN'T BELIEVE
WE GOT THE MERRITT ACCOUNT!

YEAH, THIS CALLS
FOR SOME CHAMPAGNE.

AND...WELL, THERE'S SOME
RIGHT THERE IN THE FRIDGE.

MAKE A HELL OF
A TEAM, HUH?

[GIGGLES]
WE'RE DIPPY DOLLS!

YEAH.
THAT SHOULD DO IT.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ SOMETIMES AT NIGHT
I LIE AWAKE ♪

♪ JUST TO WATCH YOU SLEEP

♪ HEAR EACH BREATH YOU TAKE

♪ WHEN THE MORNING
LIGHTS YOUR FACE ♪

♪ I JUST WANT TO HOLD YOU

♪ AND FORGET THE DAY

♪ I LIVE AND BREATHE

♪ YOUR EVERY TOUCH

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME?

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME?

OH, BABY.

MAYBE WE SHOULD GO
INTO THE BEDROOM.

I DON'T USUALLY RUSH
INTO THESE THINGS.

NEITHER DO I.

IT'S NOT THAT
I DON'T WANT TO.

I THOUGHT
THAT MAYBE--

I NEED TO KNOW
THAT IT'S REAL.

I'M COMPLETELY,
COMPLETELY--

I REALLY, REALLY
LIKE YOU. I JUST--

I NEED TO KNOW
THAT IT'S REAL.

OH, BABY.

WHOA! OOH.

♪ DO YOU LOVE ME?

OH, MY GOD,
IT'S REAL.

PEGGY?

I JUST REALIZED--

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR
SOMEBODY LIKE YOU

MY WHOLE LIFE.

DON'T MAKE FUN
OF ME.

I'M NOT. I'M LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING REAL, TOO.

ARE YOU?

WAIT...

I--I JUST...

I JUST...

I JUST NEED
A LITTLE TIME.

WHAT?

I JUST NEED
A LITTLE TIME.

OH.

UH...OF COURSE.

OF COURSE.

UH...

WELL...

UH, WE COULD WATCH
SOME TV.

MAYBE CATCH THE FOURTH
QUARTER OF THE LAKER GAME.

YOU WANT SOME
HAAGEN-DAZS?

[SIGHS]
UM...

OH, OH. IS THIS
MILDRED PIERCE?

DID YOU KNOW
THIS WAS ON?NO.

WE HAVE TO WATCH THIS.

IT'S MY FAVORITE
JOAN CRAWFORD MOVIE.

MINE, TOO.

OH...

OH, BEN...

YOU'RE SUCH
A GREAT GUY.

Girl in movie: ...YOU'LL NEVER
BE ANYTHING BUT A COMMON FRUMP

WHOSE FATHER LIVED OVER
A GROCERY STORE

AND WHOSE MOTHER
TOOK IN WASHING.

WITH THIS MONEY,
I CAN GET AWAY

FROM EVERY ROTTEN,
STINKING THING

THAT MAKES ME THINK OF
THIS PLACE OR YOU!

BEN.

TONIGHT MEANT
A LOT TO ME.

ME, TOO.

I'LL SEE YOU
TOMORROW.

Sandra: BEN, ARE YOU
TRYING TO AVOID ME?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

MISSING YOU.

THIS IS FUCKING GREAT.

FUCKING REALLY GREAT.

YOU KNOW,
LITTLE MISS PRISSY

MIGHT BE GOOD
FOR YOUR IMAGE,

BUT I'M GOOD FOR
YOUR IMAGINATION.

DON'T EVEN START
WITH THAT SHIT.

I'M TRYING TO GET SOMETHING REAL
IN MY LIFE FOR A CHANGE.

WE HAVE
SOMETHING REAL.

IT COULD BE
SOMETHING REAL.

ALL IT WOULD TAKE WOULD
BE ONE LITTLE PUSH.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON,
GET OUT OF THE CAR.

LET'S GO.

I'M NOT GETTING OUT
TILL YOU CLIMB IN.

GET THE FUCK OUT
OF THE CAR.

GET THE FUCK--

ALL RIGHT, FUCK IT.

I'LL TAKE
A GODDAMN CAB.

DON'T YOU WALK AWAY
FROM ME!

DON'T YOU EVER
WALK AWAY FROM ME!

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

[HORN HONKS]

Ben: GIVE ME
THE GODDAMN KEYS!

IT IS OVER!

OW!

YOU PICK JAKE UP
OFF THE FLOOR

AND LEAVE ME
THE FUCK ALONE.

YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!

STOP! YOU DON'T
MEAN THAT!

I KNOW YOU
DON'T MEAN THAT!

THE HELL I DON'T.

IT'S NOT GONNA BE
THAT EASY!

IT'S NOT GONNA BE
THAT EASY!

FOR YOU!

Woman on tape:
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

BEN! BEN! SORRY!
IT'S JAKE.

I THINK HE'S--

Jake: GODDAMN!

GODDAMN IT!

JAKE! JAKE!
JUST STOP IT, MAN.

GET THE FUCK OFF ME!

STOP IT, JAKE!

WHAT THE HELL'S
THE MATTER WITH YOU?

SHE'S CHEATING ON ME, BEN.
SHE'S CHEATING ON ME.

SHE'S FUCKING
CHEATING ON ME!

KEEP IT DOWN,
KEEP IT DOWN.

I DON'T CARE!
I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS!

GET OUT OF HERE!

I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

GODDAMN!

GET IN HERE.

YOU'VE NO IDEA!
NO FUCKING IDEA!

[POUNDING]
YOU HAVE NO IDEA!

ALL FUCKING NIGHT!

I LAY UP ALL NIGHT!

JAKE.

I WAS THERE
ALL NIGHT!CALM DOWN.

SHE DIDN'T COME HOME!
SHE DIDN'T COME HOME!

JUST CALM DOWN
A MINUTE AND TELL ME.

ARE YOU SURE?

SHE WOULDN'T TELL ME
WHERE SHE WAS.

AND I ASKED HER,
FINALLY!

I SAID, "ARE YOU
HAVING AN AFFAIR?"

AND SHE SAID,

"IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME
YOU NOTICED!"

DID SHE SAY
WHO IT WAS?

[KICKS CABINET]

NO.

NO.

YOU GOTTA HELP ME FIND
THIS--THIS PRICK, BEN.

I GOTTA GET
MY HANDS ON HIM.

I JUST WANT TO FUCKING
CUT HIS BALLS OFF!

GODDAMN IT, JAKE.

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

IT'S NOT EXACTLY
LIKE YOU'VE BEEN

HUSBAND OF THE YEAR.

I'M GONNA FUCK HER.

FUCK!

ALL RIGHT,
GET BACK TO WORK!

JAKE, SANDRA IS
A WONDERFUL AND DEVOTED

AND CARING WOMAN.

NO MATTER WHAT'S HAPPENED,

YOU NEED TO GO DOWN
ON BOTH KNEES FOR HER.

YEAH, WELL, SOMEBODY
OBVIOUSLY DID.

JAKE!

WELL, BEN...

IT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY,

YOU'RE ALWAYS
ON TOP OF EVERYTHING.

I'M JUST A FUCKING MESS.

I'VE JUST GOT
MY HEAD SO FAR UP

IN A FUCKING
BOTTLE, BEN.

WE'LL GET THROUGH IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE?

WE?

CHRIST!

SHE'S NOT MESSING
AROUND ON YOU, BEN.

AH...FUCK IT.

[CHOIR SINGING]

Sandra: OH, BLESS
YOUR HEART! THANK YOU.

Man:
YOU'RE WELCOME.

YOU'LL NEVER WAKE UP
TO FIND HER SUCKING YOU.

WHAT?

YOU'LL NEVER WAKE UP
TO FIND HER SUCKING YOU.

Shut your mouth.

Please.

I HAVE AN OPEN HOUSE
TOMORROW--2929 COREO.

I EXPECT YOU THERE
AT 2 P.M. SHARP.

Not on your
fucking life.

MAYBE IT'S TIME I TELL
YOUR LITTLE BROTHER

JUST WHO I HAVE
BEEN FUCKING,

OR MAYBE I SHOULD TELL
LITTLE MISS MANNERS.

I have plans tomorrow.
I can't break them.

BREAK THEM.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[MARTHA STEWART
ON TELEVISION]

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Ben.

BEN!

SORRY.

OH...UH, SORRY.

I WAS THINKING.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

YOU WANT ME
TO GET THAT?

NO, NO.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

UM, I TOOK CARE OF
THE RESERVATIONS.

You did?

Of course.

I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE
ACTUALLY DOING THIS.

IT'S SO IMPETUOUS.

WELL, IF YOU THINK...

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

UH...UM...

IF YOU--IF YOU THINK WE'RE
RUSHING INTO SOMETHING...

OH, NO.

I UNDERSTAND.

I'M READY.

ME, TOO.

CARPE DIEM,
YOU KNOW?

SEIZE THE DAY.

SHALL WE?

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Ben: JOAN!
Woman: YEAH?

LET MY VOICE MAIL
PICK UP ANY MESSAGES.

ALL RIGHT,
I GOT IT.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[MARTHA STEWART
ON TELEVISION]

Ben: THAT WAS
SOME WEEKEND, HUH?

Peggy: I NEVER THOUGHT VEGAS
COULD BE SO ROMANTIC.

I DON'T KNOW.

[LAUGHING]

YOU BIT ME.

I'M TIRED.

MMM.

YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE
TRY TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.

I'M GONNA
TAKE A SHOWER.

MMM, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

UH-UH-UH.
THAT TASTES GOOD.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I'LL COME JOIN YOU.

HELLO.

Jake: HEY,
YOU BASTARD.

WHO IS THIS?

Jake: WHO THE FUCK
DO YOU THINK IT IS?

IT'S THE BROTHER WHOSE
WIFE YOU'RE FUCKING.

YEAH,
THAT'S RIGHT.

HELLO?

YOU GOT NOTHING
TO SAY, BEN?

NOTHING!?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WHO IS IT?

SORRY, THAT'S
JUST NOT GOING

TO CUT IT,
YOU FUCK.

WHERE'S SANDRA?

YEAH...NOW WHAT? ARE
YOU GETTIN' HORNY?

WELL, TOUGH SHIT.

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO
WAIT UNTIL I'M DEAD.

IT WON'T
BE THAT LONG!

Now what is that
supposed to mean?

IS THAT JAKE?

Jake: AFTER I'M DEAD,
YOU CAN BONE HER...

IS THAT JAKE?
WHAT'S HE SAYING?

...AND YOU WON'T
HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY...

WILL YOU SHUT
THE FUCK UP?

YOU DID FEEL GUILTY,

DIDN'T YOU, BEN,
JUST A LITTLE?

JUST TELL ME YOU FELT
A LITTLE BIT GUILTY!

COME ON, BEN,
NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

JUST A LITTLE GUILTY!

Fuck.

YEAH, EXACTLY.

I'm sorry.

It just...

happened.

NO!

IT JUST--
IT JUST HAPPENED?

WHAT, YOU JUST TRIPPED
OVER THE COFFEE TABLE

AND LANDED RIGHT
ON TOP OF HER,

IS THAT RIGHT?

[LAUGHS]

WHERE ARE YOU, JAKE?

I'M LEANING ON THE BALCONY
RIGHT NOW, OL' BEN.

AW, FUCK THIS!

YOU KNOW,
I--I GOTTA FLY, MAN.

I-I-I'M CHECKING OUT,

BUT FIRST I'M GOING TO MAKE
A FEW CHOICE PHONE CALLS.

I WANT THE WHOLE
WORLD TO KNOW

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL
PERSONYOU ARE.

YOU KNOW,
IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

IMAGE...
IMAGE IS EVERYTHING.

JAKE, NOW YOU
LISTEN TO ME.

NO, NO, NO, NO!

FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
SHUT UP!

SHUT UP! IT'S
TOO LATE, BUDDY BOY.

ELVIS HAS LEFT
THE FUCKING BUILDING!

I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL!

[HANGS UP]

I'M GOING HOME IF
YOU WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

Operator: ...PLEASE HANG UP
AND TRY AGAIN.

Peggy: DON'T EVER TALK
TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!

[DOGS YIPPING]

[DRAGNETON TELEVISION]

Joe Friday: 3:35 P.M.

BILL WAS HOLDING
A TRAINING SESSION

FOR THE DIVISION
EXPLORER SCOUTS.

I HAD JUST RETURNED
TO THE STATION

AFTER ATTENDING A POLICE
COMMUNITY COUNCIL MEETING.

I SPOTTED OFFICERS JEFFRIES
AND BRAVEN HAVING COFFEE.

I TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY
TO TALK WITH THEM.

Man on TV: HIYA, SARGE.
HOW'S IT GOING?

Friday: GOOD.
MIND IF I JOIN YOU?

SURE. HAVE A CHAIR.

HOW ARE THINGS
ON THE STREET?

PRETTY GOOD.
WE HAD A BURGLAR...

SAY, DO YOU REMEMBER
STOPPING A COUPLE

NAMED ERICKSON LAST NIGHT?

YEAH.
HOW'D YOU KNOW?

THEY WERE
IN THIS MORNING.

THAT GUY WAS MAD
BEFORE WE STOPPED HIM.

[FASTENS DEADBOLT]

[TV CONTINUES INAUDIBLY]

Ben on answering machine:
HELLO, THIS IS BEN,

LEAVE IT AT THE BEEP.

[BEEP]

NO!!

[WIND CHIMES]

[WHIRRING]

HI, BEN.

NICE TO SEE YOU.

Sandra: HI, BEN!

YOU'RE SO PREDICTABLE.

I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT.

WHOA!

OK, ALL RIGHT, UM...

JAKE, YOU LITTLE
SHIT BASTARD!

DON'T.IT'S PART OF
THE PLAN.

IT'LL LEAVE
A MARK.

JAKE!

GIVE IT UP, BEN.

WHEN I GET
MY HANDS ON YOU,

I'M GOING TO KILL YOU,
YOU BASTARD.

YOU BASTARD!

[Muffled]: JAKE!

LET GO!
YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

[MUFFLED]

THAT'S GOOD, BABY,
THAT'S GOOD.

GIVE MY BEST
TO MOM AND DAD!

PUSH. HELP ME PUSH HIM!

[Muffled]:
HELP ME, JAKE.

[SANDRA LAUGHS]

WHOA.

AAH!

YOU'RE RIGHT...
DETECTIVE...

I KILLED MY BROTHER.

WHERE EXACTLY WERE YOU
WHEN HIS BROTHER TOOK A HEADER?

I WAS IN THE KITCHEN
MAKING CEVICHE.

ARE YOU OUT OF
YOUR FUCKING MIND?

IT RELAXES ME.

Man: SO THEN WHAT,
MR. DUNMORE?

Jake: I JUST TOLD HIM
TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

SO LET ME GET
THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU WANTED TO
KILL YOURSELF?

SOMETHING
LIKE THAT.

Sandra: JAKE'S BEEN
GOING THROUGH

A VERY ROUGH TIME
LATELY.

YEAH.

I'M, UH...

I'M, UH...

I'M AN ALCOHOLIC.

HEY, WELCOME
TO THE CLUB.

SO YOU'RE BROTHER CAME OVER
TO TRY TO STOP YOU?

Sandra: I TRIED TO
GET JAKE TO COME DOWN,

BUT HE WOULDN'T
LISTEN TO ME...

Jake: I'M SORRY.

SO I CALLED BEN.

SO THEN WHAT? HE CAME IN
AND SAT DOWN NEXT TO YOU?

UH, NO. HE WAS--
HE WAS BEHIND ME, I THINK.

HE...

I JUST WANTED TO DIE.

DON'T WE ALL?

MR. DUNMORE,
DID YOU THREATEN TO JUMP?

I--I SAID A LOT OF THINGS.

I WAS CONFUSED, I DON'T--

WHAT'D YOUR BROTHER
DO THEN?

[SOBBING]

THAT'S...

THAT'S WHEN...

HE FELL.

I TRIED TO GRAB HIM,
I DID...

[JAKE SOBBING]

Sandra: IT'S OK.

IT'S OK, HONEY.

I NEVER THOUGHT...

SOMETHING LIKE THIS
COULD HAPPEN.

Female detective:
COME ON, I WANT A TUNA MELT.

Jake: WHY?!

WHY?

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I THINK IT'S SAD HOW
MANY LIVES ARE DESTROYED

BY THE ABUSE OF ALCOHOL
IN OUR SOCIETY.

ARE YOU FUCKING
FOR REAL?

YES, MA'AM.

IN THAT APARTMENT,
THERE IS A LOST SOUL.

HE'S COMPOUNDED THAT TRAGEDY
BY TURNING TO THE BOTTLE.

AND NOW HIS BROTHER IS DEAD,

AND HIS POOR WIFE
HAS TO PICK UP THE PIECES.

WHERE ARE
YOU FROM, MARS?

SALT LAKE.

GREAT, I GOT PARTNERED
WITH BRIGHAM YOUNG.

I DON'T SEE WHAT RELEVANCE
THAT HAS TO MY JOB.

THAT'S MY POINT,
PENCIL DICK.

IF YOU'RE INSINUATING
A PERSON CAN'T BE

SPIRITUAL AND STILL
BE EFFECTIVE...

RELAX, JOHN PAUL,

IF WE'RE GOING
TO WORK TOGETHER,

WE'RE GOING
TO HAVE TO LET

A LITTLE MORE SHIT
ROLL OF OUR BACKS.

I DON'T LIKE IT.

I DON'T TRUST
ANYBODY OVER 10

WHO LISTENS TO
THE SOUND OF MUSIC.

[STARTS ENGINE]

BUCKLE UP.

[SIREN]

[WIND CHIMES]

SO WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I CAN MAKE
AN OMELET.

AN OMELET?

WELL, IT'S GETTING LATE.
WE HAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY.

I COULD WHIP
US UP SOME--

TRYING
TO KILL ME, TOO?

YOU KNOW MY CHOLESTEROL
IS OUT OF CONTROL, SANDRA.

HONEY.

THOSE FUCKING COPS!

I SWEAR, THEY DIDN'T
BELIEVE A WORD WE SAID.

YOU SAW IT, JUST
STRINGING US ALONG,

WAITING FOR ONE
OF US TO TRIP UP.

WE DON'T EVEN
KNOW BEN'S DEAD.

HE'S A RESILIENT PRICK.

HE'S PROBABLY GONNA
COME TRAIPSING IN HERE

WITH A HARD-ON.

HONEY...

IT'S OVER.

HE IS DEAD.

AND I LOVE YOU.

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...

[ZIP]

ANYTHING IN THE
WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

[PIANO MUSIC]

DETECTIVE,
GUESS WHAT.

GUESS WHAT.

YOU'RE QUITTING.

NO. BEN DUNMORE
WAS HEAVILY INSURED

THROUGH HIS COMPANY.

[MUSIC STOPS]

OH, LOUGANIS.

LET ME GUESS WHO
THE BENEFICIARY IS.

THE WOMAN I TALKED
TO DIDN'T KNOW,

SAID SHE'D
HAVE TO CHECK,

BUT THE PARENTS
ARE DEAD,

AND THE ONLY LIVING
RELATIVE IS THE BROTHER.

WELL...

DOESN'T THAT JUST ABOUT
SHATTER YOUR FAITH IN MANKIND?

NO.

[PNEUMATIC SAW WHIRRING]

NOW WHAT WE'VE GOT IS A DEATH
CONSISTENT WITH A LONG FALL!

47 FRACTURES OF THE LEGS, ARMS,
HANDS, RIBS, AND SKULL;

MASSIVE LACERATION OF THE LIVER,
SPLEEN, AND LUNG.

[SAW WHIRS]

WELL, NOT PRETTY,

BUT NOTHING TO
INDICATE FOUL PLAY.

STILL COULD HAVE BEEN
AN ACCIDENT.

YEAH, AND THIS IS
MY REAL HAIR COLOR.

[SAW WHIRRING]

WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

Woman: LIFE
IS BEAUTIFUL.

Bradley:
VERY REGRETTABLE.

REAL TRAGEDY.

A REAL TRAGEDY.

BEN WAS A 6-HEADED VISHNU
OF PUBLIC RELATIONS.

WE'RE GOING TO MISS HIM.

VERY FOCUSED.

GREAT CLOSER,
JUST LIKE HIS OLD MAN.

Detective: WHAT'S
THE BROTHER LIKE?

JAKE...VERY CREATIVE,

BUT UNFOCUSED.

A GENUINE ARTISTIC
TEMPERAMENT.

WHY'D HE WORK HERE?

MR. BRADLEY,

WHAT SET HIM
TO DRINKING?

HE, UH...

HE LOST HIS CENTER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

WHAT STARTS ANYBODY
ON THE SAUCE?

FINANCIAL DIFFICULTIES,
MARITAL PROBLEMS,

STRESS,
POOR SELF-ESTEEM,

EMOTIONAL TRAUMA,
GENETIC IMPRINTING.

HE WATCHES TOO MUCH
DAYTIME TV.

Woman: LIKE I SAID, BEN
HAD OUR STANDARD LIFE POLICY,

WHICH WE PROVIDE
FOR ALL OUR EXECUTIVES:

$2 MILLION COVERAGE...

WITH A DOUBLE INDEMNITY CLAUSE
FOR ACCIDENTAL DEATH.

THAT'S $4 MILLION.

WHO'S THE LUCKY
BENEFICIARY?

SINCE HIS PARENTS
ARE DEAD,

JAKE WOULD RECEIVE
THE ENTIRE ESTATE.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

WHAT'S HER DEAL?

HER NAME'S
PEGGY BLAINE.

EASY, EASY.

IS IT TRUE ABOUT BEN?

I'M AFRAID SO, MA'AM.

I'M--I'M...

PEGGY.

OK, OK, HONEY, I KNOW.
I KNOW IT'S A SHOCK.

I'M DETECTIVE POMPANO.

I'M JUST CURIOUS--
DID YOU WORK WITH BEN?

BEN WAS MY HUSBAND.

HE WAS MY HUSBAND.

WE GOT MARRIED
3 DAYS AGO IN LAS VEGAS.

BEN WAS GOING TO
ANNOUNCE IT THIS WEEK.

WE WERE GOING
TO HAVE A BIG PARTY.

Pompano: HOW LONG
WERE YOU TOGETHER?

NOT--NOT VERY LONG.

IT WAS LOVE
AT FIRST SIGHT...

AT LEAST FOR ME.

BEN AND I DIDN'T
ADVERTISE IT.

Pompano: SO YOU'RE
FUCKING THIS GUY,

AND NO ONE IN
THE OFFICE KNOWS IT.

WELL...

YOU KNOW HOW
OFFICE GOSSIP IS.

YES.

WELL, I DO.

WIPE YOUR MOUTH.

WE TALKED
TO JAKE LAST NIGHT.

HE DIDN'T KNOW HIS
BROTHER GOT MARRIED.

WE HAD JUST GOT BACK
FROM LAS VEGAS WHEN JAKE CALLED.

JAKE CALLED?
ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH, I THINK SO.

I MEAN,
I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE.

UH, BEN ANSWERED
THE PHONE.

MAYBE IT WAS SANDRA.

I THOUGHT IT WAS
AN ACCIDENT.

WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME
ALL THESE WEIRD QUESTIONS?

ARE MY QUESTIONS WEIRD,
DETECTIVE ROLLINS?

RUDE MAYBE,
BUT NOT WEIRD.

THEY'RE NOT WEIRD,
SEE?

DIDN'T YOU
GET SUSPICIOUS

WHEN BEEN DIDN'T RETURN
TO THE HONEYMOON SUITE

AFTER HE WENT
TO SEE JAKE?

UM, WELL, WE...

JUST HAD
OUR FIRST FIGHT.

JUST STUPID STUFF,

AND, UM...

THEN I WENT BACK
OVER TO MY PLACE

BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT...

THAT HE WOULD COME OVER...

AND APOLOGIZE.

[SOBBING]
I'M SUCH AN IDIOT!

THE LAST WORDS I SAID
TO HIM WERE IN ANGER.

MA'AM...

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

HIS SOUL IS WITH GOD,

AND HE KNOWS
THAT YOU LOVE HIM.

Jake: FUCKING BEN!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

EVERYTHING HE TOUCHES
TURNS INTO A NIGHTMARE.

Sandra: OH, HONEY,
CALM DOWN!

CALM DOWN?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

GOD, HE RUNS OFF
AND MARRIES BARBIE DOLL,

AND HE'S FUCKING YOU
NOT 3 WEEKS AGO.

JAKE!

WHAT? THE PLAN WAS
TO GET RID OF BEN,

NOT TO HAVE YOU SLEEP
WITH HIM EVERY 3 MINUTES.

YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD
NEVER MENTION THAT AGAIN.

I DID THAT FOR YOU,
I DID THAT FOR US.

MAYBE I'M NOT GETTING
THROUGH TO YOU, SANDRA.

BEN DIED WITHOUT A WILL.

HIS ESTATE HAS TO GO
THROUGH PROBATE,

IT'S A STATE PROCESS.

I CAN'T CONTROL IT.

YOU KILLED HIM
FOR NOTHING.

WEKILLED HIM,
WEDID IT TOGETHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

SO WHAT ARE
WE GOING TO DO?

SHE'S HIS WIFE,

EVEN IF IT IS
FOR ONLY 3 DAYS.

I'LL BE LUCKY TO GET

FUCKING GOLF CLUBS
OUT OF HER.

THERE'S GOT TO BE
SOME WAY AROUND THIS, JAKE.

WE'RE ENTITLED
TO THAT MONEY.

WE'RE ENTITLED TO IT.

WE DID ALL THE WORK,

WE TOOK
ALL THE CHANCES,

AND SHE GETS
ALL THE MONEY,

IT'S IMMORAL.

SHE JUST WALTZES IN,

AND NOW BEN'S LIFE
HAS NO MEANING.

THAT MONEY IS OURS.

AH!

WE CAN'T LET
THIS HAPPEN.

AND WE WON'T.

HEY.

[CLINK]

WELL, WE'VE ALREADY DONE IT
ONCE BEFORE, HONEY.

I MEAN, THE COW'S
OUT OF THE BARN.

DO YOU THINK?

WELL, WE'D HAVE
TO BE REALLY GOOD,

BETTER THAN GOOD.

WE'D HAVE TO THINK OF
AN AIRTIGHT ALIBI THIS TIME.

WELL, WE GOT
TO DO SOMETHING.

WE'VE PLANNED TOO MUCH.

$4 MILLION, TAX-FREE.

OURS FOR THE TAKING.

WE JUST GOT TO
DO IT, HONEY.

[TIMER BEEPS]

SWEETIE, WHY DON'T YOU
GO WASH YOUR HANDS?

SOUFFLE'S READY.

Man: BEN WAS A GOOD MAN,
HE WAS A SPIRITUAL MAN,

BUT HE WAS NOT A MAN
PEOPLE EASILY UNDERSTOOD.

YOU SEE, I KNOW HE HAD
A SECRET LOVE.

A LOVE OF HUMANITY.

HE WANTED TO TOUCH
EVERYONE HE MET.

AND WHO HERE HAS NOT
BEEN TOUCHED BY BEN

IN SOME SPECIAL WAY?

HE HAD THE SOUL
OF A POET.

HE MADE ALL OF OUR LIVES
A LITTLE RICHER,

AND THOUGH GOD HAS SILENCED
HIS INEFFABLE ORGAN,

HIS MUSIC...

PLAYS ON.

LET US PRAY.

Bradley: PEGGY,
PEGGY, DEAR!

NOT A GOOD IDEA!

OOH.

THAT BITCH'LL
GET HERS.

GIRL'S GOT
A GOOD RIGHT HOOK.

I HATE FUNERALS.

THEY'RE AN UNDENIABLE
REMINDER OF MAN'S MORTALITY.

ARE YOU GAY?

NO. NO, I'M NOT GAY.

JUST CURIOUS.

WHY WOULD YOU
THINK I'M GAY?

NO REASON.

THEN WHY--
WHY DID YOU ASK?

LET'S GET LUNCH.
YOU HUNGRY?

WELL, WHY WOULD
YOU THINK I'M GAY?

WHAT ARE YOU
IN THE MOOD FOR?

TACOS? BURGERS?

QUICHE?

Bradley: JAKE!

HELLO, LUTHER.

AFTERNOON, JAKE.

JAKE, YOU AND I NEED
TO HAVE A TALK.

ABOUT WHAT?

WE NEED TO PONDER
YOUR FUTURE WITH THE FIRM.

I REALIZE THINGS
HAVE BEEN DIFFICULT,

BUT NOW THAT
BEN'S PASSED ON,

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD
TO RECOMMITTING TO THE FIRM.

JAKE, THE DALAI LAMA
ONCE TOLD ME

THAT THE PERFECT WAY
IS ONLY DIFFICULT

FOR THOSE WHO
PICK AND CHOOSE.

PEACE, LUTHER.

Sandra: NAUGHTY
REFORM SCHOOL BOY.

YEAH, FUCK ME LIKE
A LITTLE REPUBLICAN.

WHAT'S THE MATTER,
HONEY?

Jake: I'M THINKING
ABOUT PEGGY.

NO, DON'T.

BRADLEY'S GOING TO GET RID
OF ME AS SOON AS HE CAN,

AND ALL I WANT TO DO
IS GIVE YOU THE...

MMM.
LIFE YOU DESERVE.

DON'T BE
TOO CAREFUL.

NO, BUT THE WAITING'S
DRIVING ME CRAZY.

I KNOW, I KNOW, HONEY.
I'M WORKING ON IT.

YEAH, THAT HELPS.

UHH! JUST BE PATIENT.

THAT'S THE 95% OF LIFE
I HATE, IS WAITING.

WHAT'S THE OTHER 5%?

UM...I'LL HAVE TO TELL
YOU IN A MINUTE.

[SANDRA SCREAMS]

[MAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

BIG DRINKER?

LET'S JUST SAY
NON-STOP.

NON-STOP, HUH?

THE GUY COULD DRINK
FOR A MONTH IN ONE NIGHT.

OH, YEAH.
WHAT ABOUT HIM?

HIM? BLACK COFFEE,
OCCASIONAL DIET PEPSI.

THEY WERE BROTHERS,
RIGHT?

WHAT MAKES
YOU ASK THAT?

WELL, THEY LOOK ALIKE.

BESIDES,
HE WAS ALWAYS IN HERE

NAGGING JAKE
ABOUT HIS DRINKING.

I MEAN,
HE WAS A NICE GUY.

HE WAS SINCERE.

IT'S A SHAME ABOUT
WHAT HAPPENED.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, MAYBE IF YOU'D CUT
HIM OFF FROM TIME-TO-TIME,

NONE OF THIS EVER
WOULD HAVE HAPPENED.

ALCOHOL POLLUTES THE SOUL OF
SOCIETY AND DESTROYS LIVES.

DON'T YOU EVER THINK
ABOUT THAT AT ALL?

DOESN'T THAT JUST
EAT AT YOUR CONSCIENCE?

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP.

WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I'M JUST TIRED OF PEOPLE

SHIRKING RESPONSIBILITY
FOR THEIR ACTIONS.

NEWS FLASH--
THE WORLD IS SHIT,

PEOPLE ARE BAD,
WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE.

DEAL WITH IT.

HOW DO YOU WAKE UP EVERY DAY
BEING SO DOGGONED CYNICAL?

BECAUSE, ROLLINS,
SOMEBODY KILLED BAMBI'S MOM.

BE BACK FOR HAPPY HOUR!

POOR KID, HUH?

OUT ON A JOG, AND WHAM--
IT'S OVER.

AT LEAST
SHE DIED HEALTHY.

AW, NOW, SEE,
THIS MAKES ME SICK.

TWO MILLION BUCKS
FOR SOME SPILLED COFFEE.

A WOMAN GETS $2 MILLION FOR
SPILLING HOT COFFEE ON HERSELF.

I DO THAT EVERY DAY.
WHAT DO I GET? COFFEE STAINS.

RITA, FACE ONE THING,
WILL YOU, PLEASE?

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
WORK FOR YOUR PENSION

JUST LIKE
THE REST OF US.

YEAH, THAT'S EASY
FOR YOU TO SAY

WHEN YOU'LL BE LYING ON A BEACH
IN HAWAII THIS TIME NEXT WEEK.

TAHITI. I'LL BE LYING
ON A BEACH IN TAHITI.

I TOLD YOU THAT
A THOUSAND TIMES.

I DON'T THINK MEN SHOULD
WEAR SPANDEX, DO YOU?

YOU ARE SONUTS.

Man on TV:
GREAT LEGS.

Woman on TV:
WHY, THANK YOU,

BUT I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.

I'VE QUIT USING
MY THIGHMASTER...

'CAUSE NOW I'M USING
THIGHMASTER PLUS.

Announcer: INTRODUCING
NEW THIGHMASTER PLUS--

Newscaster: A TRAGIC MORNING

FOR ANOTHER YOUNG WOMAN
IN THE WEST SIDE,

AS THE MAN
KNOWN AS THE DOCTOR

KILLS HIS FOURTH VICTIM
IN LESS THAN 3 MONTHS.

AS IN THE OTHER DEATHS,
THE 28-YEAR-OLD GRAD STUDENT

WAS FOUND WITH A SYRINGE
CONTAINING RESIDUE

OF THE POWERFUL DRUG CURARE
IN HER NECK.

STAY TUNED
FOR MORE KZBX NEWS.

SANDRA, COME ON.
LET'S GO.

YEAH, JUST A MINUTE.

TV Announcer: ROGER DAWSON'S
SECRETS OF POWER NEGOTIATING.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU BOTHER
WITH THIS CHURCH SHIT,

I GOT TO SAY.

I LIKE DOING GOOD THINGS,
HELPING OUT.

BESIDES, THERE'S
SO MUCH MORE TO DO NOW

BECAUSE OF BEN'S ABSENCE.

SANDRA, WE KILLED BEN.

YES.

THERE'S NO REASON THAT REVEREND
FINLAYSON SHOULD SUFFER. HMM?

I KNOW WHAT TO DO
ABOUT OUR LITTLE PROBLEM.

YOU DO?

MM-HMM.

WE MAKE IT LOOK LIKE...

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[WHISPERS]
a serial killing.

JAKE, MY BOY!

REVEREND.

HA HA HA! HOW ARE
YOU HOLDING UP?

OH, IT'S BEEN
VERY HARD, OF COURSE,

BUT MUCH BETTER,
THANK YOU.

SANDRA'S BEEN GREAT.
OH...

WELL, BE SURE TO LOCK UP
WHEN YOU'RE DONE.

CERTAINLY.

I KNOW I KEEP
DOING THIS,

BUT, JAKE...

YOU'VE GOT
A WONDERFUL PARTNER.

YES, SIR.

LISTEN TO HER.

I ALWAYS DO.

GOD BLESS.

Goddamn it.

A SERIAL KILLING?

SANDRA...
DON'T YOU THINK

THAT'S A BIT
OF A STRETCH?

NO. HE'S OUT THERE
RIGHT NOW,

CRUISING FOR
HIS NEXT VICTIM...

WHO HAPPENS TO BE
LITTLE MISS PEGGY BLANE.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

THE DOCTOR'S M.O.
IS VERY SPECIFIC...

EASY TO DUPLICATE.

HOW?

SHE IS A CREATURE
OF HABIT, BELIEVE ME.

[LAUGHS]

I KNOW HER SCHEDULE.

IT REALLY IS
THE ONLY WAY, JAKE.

AND NOBODY
WILL EVER SUSPECT US.

I HOPE YOU DON'T
EXPECT ME TO DO IT.

NO.

[LAUGHS]

I HAVE SOMEBODY IN MIND.
HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR YEARS.

OH...HE IS NOT
AN OLD BOYFRIEND.

YOU SILLY GOOSE.

[DOGS BARKING]

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?

WE'RE LOOKING FOR MIKE.

DON'T KNOW ANY MIKE.

WILL SENT US.

WILL SENT WHO?

US.

COME ON. COME ON
INSIDE. HURRY UP.

FRITZ, SIT! PLATZ!

[FRITZ WHINES]

Man: WE GOT 10 MINUTES TO GET
THESE VEHICLES OUT OF HERE.

YOU GOT THAT?

Sandra: SO, MIKE, WHAT WE WANT
IS FOR YOU TO COPY THE DOCTOR.

CAN YOU DO THAT?

Mike: THE DOCTOR'S A HACK.
HE'S AN AMATEUR.

YOU REALLY WANT IT
DONE LIKE THAT?

YEAH. THAT'S HOW
IT'S GOT TO BE...

TO THE "T."

Sandra: DO YOU HAVE ANY QUALMS
ABOUT KILLING WOMEN?

NO.

NO QUALMS.

THEY DIE EASIER.

[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]

AT LEAST,
SOMEOF THEM DO.

Sandra: MIKE...

WILL YOU DO IT?

I DON'T KNOW.
I DON'T KNOW.

OK. I'LL DO IT.

Peggy: YOUR WIFE'S
BEEN FOLLOWING ME.

Jake: WELL,
OF COURSE SHE IS, PEG.

SHE'S TRYING TO LEARN YOUR
HABITS AND ROUTINES, YOU KNOW.

READY?
READY.

AHEM. YOU, UH...

YOU GOT THEM, UH,
LAB REPORTS ON BEN DUNMORE?

WE GOT THOSE A WEEK AGO.

YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW.
I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND 'EM.

LESSON NUMBER ONE
ON BEING A DETECTIVE.

FOLLOW ME, BARNEY FIFE.

Pompano: THIS IS YOUR LOCKER.

IT IS NOT A MEDICINE CABINET/
CLOSET/REFRIGERATOR.

IT IS FOR IMPORTANT PAPERS.
ANYTHING YOU NEED STAYS IN HERE.

ONCE IT ENTERS THE GENERAL
POPULATION, YOU ARE FUCKED.

YOU'LL LOSE IT.
IT'LL GET PISSED ON.

IT'LL FIND A WAY
TO WALK OUT OF HERE.

YOUR LOCKER IS SPECIAL.
KEEP IT CLEAN.

DON'T LET ANYBODY NEAR IT.
IT'S KIND OF LIKE YOUR DICK.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK
TO ME LIKE I'M AN IDIOT.

I'M SORRY.

DUNMORE.

Man on radio:
UNIT 5 TO NORTHRIDGE CAMPUS.

UNIT 5 TO NORTHRIDGE CAMPUS.
DO YOU NEED ANY ASSISTANCE?

Man: UH, THAT'S
A NEGATIVE.

EQUIPMENT GUY FOUND IT
ABOUT AN HOUR AGO.

STUDENT AT THE COLLEGE HERE.
WE'VE ALERTED THE PARENTS.

Man on radio:
ROGER. WE COPY.

AT LEAST HE USED
A CLEAN NEEDLE.

I CAN'T IMAGINE
HOW FRIGHTENED

SHE MUST HAVE BEEN.

I CAN. I WAS MARRIED
TO A DENTIST.

HEY! HEY!
WATCH THE FLOWERS.

SORRY, MA'AM.
JESUS!

YES, MA'AM.

LESTER! SHOOT THE CROWD.

YES, MA'AM,
SHOOTIN' THE CROWD.

[SHUTTER CLICKING]

[DOGS BARKING]

HEY, IS MIKE THERE?

WHO'S THERE?

JAKE...DUNMORE.

YO! MICHAEL!

YOU GOT COMPANY.

Mike: DON'T THINK
YOU CAN COME HERE

ANYTIME YOU WANT,
BUDDY BOY.

SHIT LIKE THAT
WILL GET YOU KILLED.

COULDN'T BE HELPED.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

UM...

THERE'S BEEN
A CHANGE IN PLANS.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO
KILL PEGGY BLANE.

SORRY, NO REFUNDS.

I DON'T WANT ONE.

THAT'S GOOD. THAT'S GOOD,
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FORGET

WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH,
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YOU SEE THIS FUCK HERE?

THIS FUCK FORGOT
WHO HE WAS DEALING WITH.

DIDN'T YOU,
YOU FUCKED FUCK?

DIDN'T YOU FORGET?
HE FORGOT.

[MAN MOANS]

I WANT YOU
TO KILL MY WIFE.

[PINBALL MACHINE BEEPS]

ALL RIGHT, FUCK.
COME OVER HERE.

GET OVER HERE.

WHY DON'T YOU COME
AND SIT ON THE COUCH?

SIT ON THE COUCH, ALL RIGHT?
SIT HERE ON THE COUCH.

[MOANING]

YOU'RE FUCKING HER,
AIN'T YA?

YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT--

PLAYING THE FIELD WHEN
YOU GOT A BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

THAT'S BAD.
THAT'S VERY BAD.

LISTEN TO ME, MIKE.

YOU GOT MY MONEY, RIGHT?
I WANT YOU TO KILL MY WIFE.

YOU GOT ANY KIDS?

[CHUCKLES]

UH...NO.

NO, NO KIDS.

OK. I'M GONNA DO IT...

BUT IT'S GONNA
COST YOU DOUBLE.

DOUBLE?

SHE'S GONNA FIGHT.

YEAH, UM...

I KIND OF DIG HER,
YOU KNOW?

DOUBLE'S FINE.
JUST SOON, ALL RIGHT?

GOT TO THINK ABOUT
A COUPLE PARTICULARS.

IT SHOULDN'T BE
TOO LONG.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY...

DID YOU LIKE
MY PRACTICE RUN?

HUH?

NORTHRIDGE COLLEGE.

Pompano: OK, LOOK FOR
THE NEEDLE IN THE SHITPILE.

THESE ARE CROWD SHOTS
FROM ALL 5 MURDERS.

WE WANT TO SEPARATE
POTENTIAL SUSPECTS

FROM YOUR AVERAGE
SCUMBAG CITIZEN.

MA'AM, YOU KNOW, WE'RE SWORN
TO SERVE AND PROTECT.

IF YOU HATE EVERYBODY
SO MUCH,

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS JOB?

'CAUSE EVERY
ONCE IN A WHILE,

I GET TO SHOOT
SOMEBODY.

LOOK FOR ANYBODY
WHO POPS UP

IN MORE THAN ONE
CRIME SCENE.

OK.

Sandra singing along with Julie
Andrews: ♪ RAINDROPS ON ROSES

♪ AND WHISKERS ON KITTENS

♪ BRIGHT COPPER KETTLES
AND WARM WOOLEN MITTENS ♪

♪ BROWN PAPER PACKAGES
TIED UP WITH STRINGS ♪

♪ THESE ARE A FEW OF
MY FAVORITE THINGS ♪

Julie Andrews:
♪ CREAM-COLORED PONIES

♪ AND CRISP APPLE STRUDELS

♪ DOORBELLS AND SLEIGH BELLS
AND SCHNITZEL WITH NOODLES ♪

♪ I MUST HAVE DONE
SOMETHING GOOD ♪

BREAKFAST IS
ALMOST READY.

I'M NOT GONNA EAT.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I THOUGHT I'D GO
TO THE OFFICE

AND SAY HI
TO EVERYBODY.

YOU'RE ON LEAVE.

I THINK IT'LL LOOK
BETTER TO THE COPS

IF I CHECK IN
WITH THE COMPANY.

OH. AND I'M GOING TO
AN A.A. MEETING TONIGHT,

SO I'LL BE LATE.

DO YOU HAVE TO? I WAS HOPING
WE COULD GO SEE A MOVIE.

OH...I'M SORRY,
LITTLE ONE.

APPEARANCES,
REMEMBER?

HONEY?
YEAH?

I LOVE YOU, HONEY.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

♪ I MUST HAVE DONE
SOMETHING GOOD ♪

Sandra: OH, MY GOD.

[HORN HONKS]

SON OF A BITCH.

[STARTS ENGINE]

AAAH! AAH!

[WHEELS SPINNING]

♪ WAAAH!

♪ I FEEL GOOD

♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW

♪ I FEEL GOOD

♪ I KNEW THAT I WOULD, NOW

[LAUGHING]

♪ SO GOOD

♪ SO GOOD

♪ I GOT YOU

GIVE ME THAT.

♪ WAAAH!

♪ I FEEL NICE

♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

♪ I FEEL NICE

♪ LIKE SUGAR AND SPICE

Peggy:
DO YOU LOVE ME, JAKE?

NOW, WHAT KIND OF
QUESTION IS THAT?

OHH...

LOOK AT ALL THE CHANCES
I'M TAKING FOR YOU...

FOR US.

[SANDRA MOANS]

Jake: EVERYTHING
I'M DOING IS TO GIVE YOU

THE LIFE YOU DESERVE.

Peggy: KILL HER, JAKE.
KILL HER FOR ME.

Jake: TRUST ME.

NO...

[CRYING]

OH, JAKE...

[JAKE AND PEGGY MOANING]

JAKE...

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

Man: HOWDY, MA'AM.

FILL 'ER UP?

PLEASE.

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

HE WAS IN 4
AND NUMBER 5...

I CAN'T TAKE THIS
ANYMORE.

HEY, WHO SNUCK
THE BOURBON

IN MR. ROGERS'
SODA POP?

I DID.

IT EQUALIZES THE PRESSURE
BY CONSTRICTING BLOOD FLOW.

OH. I THOUGHT YOU JUST
COULDN'T FIND A LAMPSHADE.

I THINK
I GOT SOMETHING.

THIS SHOT'S
FROM NORTHRIDGE,

THIS ONE'S FROM NUMBER TWO
AT THE ROSEMONT.

TAKE A LOOK--
THIS GUY AND THIS GUY.

Pompano: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

FOCUS!
SHUT UP!

ALL RIGHT, WE GOT HIM...

EXCELLENT.

AND WE GOT HIM.

BINGO.

THAT'S PRETTY.
THIS IS PRETTY.

Rollins: NO, NO, NO,
IT'S NOT HIM.

THAT GUY'S GOT
AN EARRING IN HIS NOSE.

THE GUY IN THE BOTTOM
DOESN'T.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

MAYBE HE HAD IT PUT IN.

THAT'S A LATER PICTURE.

THIS ONE?
MM-HMM.

[ALL GROAN]

WELL, I GUESS HE'S EARNED
HIS COOKIES FOR TODAY.

BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD,
GENTLEMEN.

[PEGGY BREATHING HEAVILY]

HEY, BABY,
YOU KEEP THAT UP,

YOU'RE GONNA LIVE
FOREVER.

DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME.

OH, I'M NOT.

I'M NOT MAKING FUN.
I LIKE IT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

HMM?

SOMETIMES...
I JUST...

UM...

HAVE ALL THESE...

THOUGHTS THAT...

YOU'RE DOING THIS...
ALL FOR...

UM...THE MONEY.

NO. PEG, BABY...

HOW CAN YOU
SAY THAT? HMM?

I DON'T CARE
ABOUT MONEY.

I'M AN ARTIST.

YOU ARE.

YEAH.

CAN I HELP YOU?

DO ANY OF THESE CARS RUN?

ALL OF THEM...

BUT I'D GO FOR THIS COUGAR.

SHE AIN'T BEAUTIFUL,
BUT SHE STILL CAN KICK.

RADIO WORKS GOOD,
EVEN GOT A CASSETTE PLAYER.

HOW MUCH?

I'M ASKING 700.

$700? DON'T YOU THINK
THAT'S A LITTLE STEEP?

I'LL LET IT GO FOR 6.

I HAVE $300 CASH.

UH-HUH.
MM-HMM.

THERE'S AN A.T.M. MACHINE
AT THE STORE.

[RECEIPT PRINTING]

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Jake: JESUS!

Peggy: HEY, WHO IS THAT?

[HORN HONKS]

Jake: ALL RIGHT,
ASSHOLE!

OH, MAN!
GO FASTER!

HEY!
JAKE, GO FASTER!

HANG ON. HANG ON!

Peggy: CAN'T SEE.

SOME CRAZY
MOTHERFUCKER!

JESUS!
SHIT!

Singing along with radio:
♪ SO LONG, FAREWELL

♪ AUF WIEDERSEHEN,GOOD-BYE ♪

WHO IS THAT?

IT'S YOUR
FUCKING WIFE!

PULL OVER!

I CAN OUTRUN HER!

Peggy: GET AWAY
FROM US, YOU BITCH!

♪ SO LONG, FAREWELL

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
WE WERE ON THE SAME TEAM!

BABY,
IT'S A BUSINESS THING!

WELL, I'M WEARING
MYTEAM RING.

PLEASE, SANDRA,
PULL OVER!

GO FASTER!

SANDRA, DON'T!
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!

PLEASE! AAH!

♪ I'D LIKE TO STAY
AND TASTE MY FIRST CHAMPAGNE ♪

♪ I SIGH AND SAY GOOD-BYE

♪ GOOD-BYE

[EXPLOSION]

♪ I'M GLAD TO GO

♪ I CANNOT TELL A LIE

♪ I FLIT, I FLOAT

♪ I FLEETLY FLEE, I FLY

♪ GOOD-BYE

♪ GOOD-BYE

♪ GOOD-BYE

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE
IN SUNSHINE ♪

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN RAIN

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE
THAT SPRING WILL COME AGAIN ♪

♪ BESIDES WHICH, YOU SEE,
I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME ♪

♪ STRENGTH DOESN'T LIE
IN NUMBERS ♪

♪ STRENGTH DOESN'T LIE
IN WEALTH ♪

♪ STRENGTH LIES IN NIGHTS
OF PEACEFUL SLUMBERS ♪

♪ WHEN YOU WAKE UP

♪ WAKE UP! IT'S HEALTHY

♪ ALL I TRUST
I LEAD MY HEART TO ♪

♪ ALL I TRUST BECOMES MY OWN

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE
IN CONFIDENCE ALONE ♪

OH, HELP...

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE
IN CONFIDENCE ALONE ♪

♪ BESIDES WHICH, YOU SEE

♪ I HAVE CONFIDENCE

♪ IN ME

HEY, RITA!
YOU GOT A CALL ON 3.

Pompano on telephone: YEAH?

HELLO, DETECTIVE?
THIS IS SANDRA DUNMORE.

[CRYING]

I THINK SOMETHING'S
HAPPENED TO MY HUSBAND.

EASY, NOW. WHAT
MAKES YOU SAY THAT?

[SIGHS]

WELL, HE DIDN'T COME HOME
LAST NIGHT, AND...

HE'S BEEN VERY DESPONDENT
SINCE HIS BROTHER'S DEATH.

WHEN WAS THE LAST
TIME YOU SAW HIM?

YESTERDAY MORNING.

HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO
THE OFFICE, BUT I CALLED THEM.

THEY SAID
HE NEVER SHOWED UP.

I WOULDN'T BE
TOO WORRIED.

CHANCES ARE HE'LL WAKE UP
IN A PILE OF HIS OWN FLUIDS.

AH...

I DO NOT APPRECIATE
YOUR ATTITUDE, DETECTIVE.

[PAPERS FALL]

Man: SHIT!

NOBODY DOES.

I'LL PUT AN A.P.B. OUT
ON YOUR HUSBAND'S VEHICLE,

AND WHEN I KNOW ANYTHING,
I'LL GIVE YOU A CALL.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

BITCH.

TWO BODIES.

ONE BIKE, TWO BODIES.

Rollins:
DID YOU I.D. 'EM?

Sheriff: WELL, UH...

ONE'S REGULAR,
ONE'S EXTRA CRISPY.

WE JUST KNOW THE BIKE'S
REGISTERED TO GERALD DUNMORE.

Rollins: THIS ONE'S
WEARING JEWELRY.

PROBABLY A WOMAN.

THANK YOU,
SHERLOCK.

WHAT DO YOU
MAKE OF THIS?

LOOKS LIKE THEY TRIED
TO TAKE THAT TURN THERE

A LITTLE BIT TOO FAST.

THIS IS A DANGEROUS ROAD
HERE, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT.

ME AND OLD WILLIE THERE,

WE COME DOWN HERE
2 OR 3 TIMES A YEAR,

PICKING SOMEBODY UP OUT
OF THAT BURNED METAL.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

THE FRESH AIR'S
MAKING ME SICK.

HEY, WILLIE, HAVE YOU
GOT MY THERMOS?

IT'S A POSITIVE I.D.,
BASED ON THIS DENTAL CHART.

JAKE DUNMORE.

AND PEGGY BLANE.

THEY WERE HAVING
AN AFFAIR?

NO, THEY WERE
CELEBRATING EARTH DAY,

YOU FUCKING MOOK.

I GUESS WE SHOULD GO OVER
AND TELL MRS. DUNMORE.

THE WIDOW DUNMORE
CAN WAIT.

THERE'S SOMETHING
I WANT TO CHECK OUT FIRST.

[MUSIC BOX
PLAYING SWAN LAKE]

DO YOU REALIZE
ANYTHING WE FIND HERE

WOULD BE INADMISSIBLE
IN A COURT OF LAW?

ARE YOU CONFUSING ME WITH
SOMEBODY WHO GIVES A SHIT?

OH, NO,
WOULDN'T DO THAT.

GOTCHA.

NOT SINCE THE KENNEDY BOYS

HAVE TWO BROTHERS HAD
SO MUCH FUN WITH ONE BROAD.

WHAT EXACTLY
ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

POMPANO, I SAID,
WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

I HOPE YOU DON'T
GET CARSICK.

LET'S GO, ASSWAD.

[THEME FROM PERRY MASON
PLAYING]

Rollins: I NEVER HAD THE
OCCASION TO COME HERE BEFORE.

Pompano: I'LL GIVE YOU
SOME ADVICE: BET IT ALL.

I DON'T GAMBLE,
DETECTIVE...

THOUGH I'D LOVE TO SEE
SIEGFRIED AND ROY.

OH, I'M SURE YOU WOULD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN
BY THAT?

NOTHIN'.

MARGARET "PEGGY" BLANE,

BENJAMIN E. DUNMORE.

WELL, YEAH, THAT'S ONE
OF OURS, ALL RIGHT.

WITNESSED BY HOMER THERE.

[PLAYING ACCORDION]

PUT THE ACCORDION AWAY, HOMER.
WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.

SO YOU REMEMBER WHAT
THESE TWO LOOKED LIKE?

OH, LORDY.
DO YOU REALIZE

HOW MANY COUPLES
WE WED IN HOLY MATRIMONY?

THEY TEND TO BLUR.

WELL, HERE'S A PICTURE
OF THE TWO YOU MARRIED.

THEY LOOK FAMILIAR?

WELL, THEY DO.
THEY SURELY DO...

BUT THEN AGAIN,
YOU TWO LOOK FAMILIAR TO ME.

THAT'S
A LOT OF HELP.

WHY DON'T WE LOOK
IN THE ALBUM?

WHAT ALBUM?

THE PHOTO ALBUM.

AN ARCHIVE OF
EVERY LOVING SOUL WE'VE UNITED.

THE DATE YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
SHOULD BE RIGHT ABOUT HERE.

HOLD IT.

Homer: SEE?
I DO REMEMBER THIS GUY.

HE PITCHED A FIT
WHEN I TOOK THAT PICTURE.

HE TOOK IT WITH HIM.

BUT WHAT HE DIDN'T KNOW WAS
THE CAMERA MAKES TWO PRINTS.

TV Announcer: ROY LASSITER:
PROVEN CHARACTER,

CONSERVATIVE VALUES.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Pompano: MRS. DUNMORE.

WHO IS IT?

DETECTIVE POMPANO.

WHO IS IT?

RITA POMPANO.

Sandra: YOU'RE TELLING ME

THAT JAKE AND PEGGY
WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR?

Pompano: THAT'S RIGHT.

Rollins: MA'AM,
THIS PHOTO WAS TAKEN

AT THE GAMBLING-ON-LOVE
CHAPEL IN LAS VEGAS.

YOUR HUSBAND AND MISS
BLANE WERE MARRIED THERE

UNDER THE NAMES
BEN AND PEGGY DUNMORE.

MY JAKE...

[SOBS]

THAT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY SENSE.

THE NIGHT THAT BEN WAS KILLED,
WERE YOU HERE?

YES. I ALREADY
TOLD YOU THAT.

AT THE TIME
OF HIS DEATH?

YES. I WAS IN THE KITCHEN,
MAKING A CASSEROLE.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOU WERE MAKING CEVICHE.

RIGHT. CEVICHE.

YOU SURE, NOW? CEVICHE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

JAKE HAD AN AFFAIR.

MRS. DUNMORE,
WE THINK THAT

YOUR HUSBAND
PUSHED HIS BROTHER

OFF THAT BALCONY.

WE THINK THAT

HE CONSPIRED
WITH PEGGY BLANE

TO KILL HIS BROTHER

FOR THE INSURANCE
MONEY.

JAKE IMPERSONATED
HIS BROTHER,

AND BY
MARRYING PEGGY,

HE TOOK THE SUSPICION
OFF HIMSELF.

THERE WAS NO MOTIVE
FOR THE CRIME

BECAUSE
PEGGY GOT THE MONEY.

HE WAS ALREADY
MARRIED TO ME.

MA'AM, I KNOW THIS
IS TOUGH, BUT...

WE FEEL THAT
JAKE AND PEGGY

WERE PLANNING ON
KILLING YOU, TOO.

LUCKILY FOR YOU,

THEY DIDN'T LIVE TO
CARRY OUT THAT PLAN.

THIS IS...IMPOSSIBLE.

M-MY HUSBAND...

WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ME!

[SOBBING]

HE LOVED ME.

HE LOVED ME.

YES, MA'AM,
IT'S GONNA BE OK.

YOU JUST...HAVE YOURSELF
A GOOD OLD CRY.

DO YOU THINK SHE'LL EVER
COME TO ACCEPT THE TRUTH?

WELL, SHE'S GOT 8 MILLION BUCKS
WORTH OF TIME TO SWALLOW IT.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY
EVER CHEAT AND CONSPIRE

ON A WOMAN LIKE THAT?

HEY, ROLLINS, WHY DON'T YOU
HEAD BACK TO THE STATION?

I FEEL LIKE TAKING A WALK.

YOU SURE?

YEAH...

YEAH, I NEED
TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

WELL, EVERYONE NEEDS TO FIND
THEIR OWN HOMEOSTASIS.

ROLLINS,
WHAT'S YOUR FIRST NAME?

NATHANIEL.

GOOD WORK UP THERE, NATE.

WATCH YOUR HEAD.
GO ON.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[KNOCKING]

Sandra: JUST A MINUTE!

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

[SOBS]

I'LL...
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.

I'M SORRY...

CUT THE CRAP, HONEY.
YOU'RE WASTING GOOD MASCARA.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

PISSIN' IN YOUR CORNFLAKES.

THAT EARLIER STORY, THE ONE
ROLLINS ALSO TOLD OUR CAPTAIN...

THAT'S NOT THE REAL STORY.

YOU AND I BOTH KNOW THE TRUTH,
DON'T WE, SANDRA?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

OH, COME ON. IT'S JUST YOU
AND ME NOW. WE BOTH KNOW

THAT YOU AND JAKE KILLED BEN
FOR THE INSURANCE MONEY.

I JUST THINK IT'S TIME
WE TIED UP ALL THE LOOSE ENDS.

I SEE.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
CALL YOUR SUPERIORS.

[POMPANO SIGHS]

AND I'M GONNA HAVE
TO CALL YOUR BLUFF.

WHY ARE YOU
DOING THIS TO ME?

I THINK YOU KNEW
ABOUT JAKE AND PEGGY.

I THINK YOU FOUND OUT
AND DROVE 'EM OFF A MOUNTAIN.

I THINK YOU DID THEM
BEFORE THEY COULD DO YOU,

AND IN THE PROCESS...
PICKED UP $4 MILLION

OFF JAKE'S
LIFE INSURANCE POLICY,

NOT TO MENTION THE 4

YOU'LL MOST LIKELY GET
FROM BEN'S.

WHERE'S YOUR PROOF?

PROOF...I NEVER
THOUGHT OF THAT.

PROOF.

YOU THINK SOMETHING
LIKE AN A.T.M. RECEIPT

FROM A MACHINE UP IN HEMET
THE DAY OF THE ACCIDENT

MIGHT QUALIFY?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

Pompano: REALLY?

OH. WELL, THEN, UM...

HOW ABOUT...

THIS?

SO?

YOU KNOW, I FOUND THIS

IN AN ABANDONED COUGAR
DOWNTOWN.

MATCHED
THE MAKE OF A CAR

SOME OLD WOMAN
SOLD TO YOU...

OR, AT LEAST,
SOMEONE IN A RED WIG

WHO LOOKED
JUST LIKE YOU.

THEY TELL ME THIS MYSTERIOUS
RED-HAIRED WOMAN

PAID CASH FOR THE CAR

BUT THEN HAD TO USE
THE A.T.M. MACHINE

AT A LIQUOR STORE.

Pompano: THAT'S A BIG BOO-BOO.

YOU JUST DON'T GET IT,
DO YOU, SANDY?

OH...YOU SEE...

EITHER THE WORLD'S
RIGHT-SIDE UP OR UPSIDE DOWN.

DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

I MEAN,
CLOSE THE BOOK OF RULES,

AND THERE'S JUST PEOPLE
CAUGHT IN SITUATIONS.

LIKE YOU AND ME.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[TV PLAYING IN BACKGROUND]

I WANT WHAT YOU WANT:

A PAYOFF. A NEST EGG.

A CHANCE TO GET
OUT OF THIS RAT RACE.

YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT THE
OTHER HALF OF MY SANDWICH?

I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.
YOU SHOULD EAT SOMETHING.

HAVE A LITTLE BREAD,
SOMETHING...A LITTLE BITE.

COME ON, TASTE THAT.
OH, BOY. YOU'RE STUBBORN.

YOU KNOW, AT FIRST,
I THOUGHT...

WHAT THE HELL...
TAKE IT ALL.

[CRYING]

[CHUCKLES]

BUT THEN, NOT BEING GREEDY
LIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW...

I MEAN, AFTER ALL,
YOU DID DO ALL THE WORK,

EVEN IF A LOT OF IT
WAS ON YOUR BACK.

SO I FIGURE, UM...HALF.

50-50 SPLIT,
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.

IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME,
YOU KNOW.

BUREAUCRACY, PAPERWORK,

ALL THAT...
INSURANCE COMPANY BULLSHIT.

I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

[SIGHS]

BUT LET'S--LET'S GET
ONE THING CLEAR, OK?

DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT
FUCKING ME OVER.

DON'T LEAVE TOWN, DON'T
PUSH ME IN FRONT OF A BUS,

DON'T DO ANYTHING...

BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
SEEN MY BAD SIDE YET.

OW.

AND I'VE GOT ENOUGH
EVIDENCE IN MY LOCKER

TO PUT YOU
IN THE GAS CHAMBER.

OW!
SO...

I GUESS HALF IS
BETTER THAN NOTHING.

YES, IT IS.

YOU KNOW, SANDRA,

A LOT OF PEOPLE
FIND YOU SCARY,

BUT I LIKE YOU.

THE WORLD'S
FULL OF BULLSHIT.

YOU DON'T BULLSHIT.
I LIKE THAT.

WELL, KEEP IN TOUCH,
PARTNER.

[DOOR LOCKS]

[DING]

Mike: I'M SORRY.

NORTHRIDGE. FUCK!

STOP, GODDAMN IT! STOP!

STOP!

MOVE,
YOU GREEN BASTARD!

AAH!

GET OVER THERE.

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP.
GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP!

LET GO OF HER.
GODDAMN IT, LET GO OF HER!

LET THE GIRL GO. DON'T DO IT
THIS WAY. YOU WANT TO DIE?

YOU DON'T WANT ME
TO SHOOT YOU, ASSHOLE.

[GUNFIRE]

AAH...

[GUNSHOT]

AAH! OHH...

Sandra: YES!
YOU GOT HIM! YES!

SHOOT THE FREAK!
COME ON!

COME ON!
ONE MORE SHOT!

SHUT UP!

OH!

ROUGH DAY, HUH?

I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE GOT
AN INVESTMENT TO PROTECT.

AAH! UNH...

[COUGHING]

SANDRA, SANDRA,
SANDRA...

WHATCHA GOT
IN YOUR HAND? HMM?

GONNA BASTE A TURKEY
WITH THAT?

OOH...

WHAT'S THIS?

[KEYS RATTLING]

Pompano: SANDRA, TRUST ME.
THIS IS WHAT'S BEST.

WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.

BELIEVE ME, I KNOW
ABOUT THESE THINGS.

YOU'LL THANK ME.

ISN'T THIS COERCION?

WILL YOU EXCUSE US
A MOMENT?

STOP PLAYING GAMES
AND SIGN THE DAMN THING.

THAT WASN'T SO BAD,
WAS IT?

I GUESS NOT.

I'LL MAKE SURE THAT
THE MONEY WILL BE WIRED

INTO YOUR SEPARATE ACCOUNTS
BY TOMORROW EVENING.

THANK YOU FOR USING
AUSTRIAN FIDELITY BANK.

THANK YOU.

HEY...

CAN I BUY YOU
A STRUDEL?

DO YOU THINK
PEOPLE CAN CHANGE?

I DON'T KNOW. I THINK
THEY ONLY GET WORSE.

I WAS ABLE TO CHANGE...

'CAUSE INSIDE,
I KNEW I WAS MUCH MORE

THAN WHAT I WAS LIVING MENTALLY
AND EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY.

AND I WAS ABLE
TO FIND MY PASSION.

YOU SURE DID.

THAT'S WHAT MOST PEOPLE
HAVEN'T DONE.

MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY REALLY WANT,

SO THEY'RE NOT ABLE
TO TAP INTO THEIR DRIVE.

AND THEN THEY DON'T DISCOVER
WHAT THEY'RE REALLY CAPABLE OF.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE CAPABLE OF.

[LAUGHING]

I FEEL I HAVE
SO MUCH TO GIVE.

HEY!

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST.

I'M--I'M SORRY.
I COULDN'T RESIST.

I SAW YOU TWO
WALKING,

AND I JUST
THOUGHT THAT...

[LAUGHING]

OH!

I...WOW!

YOU'VE...
YOU BOTH LOOK SO...

SO...

SO, UH...

SO...WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, UH, WHAT ARE
YOUDOING HERE?

WELL, I SORT OF
GOT MY HANDS FULL

WITH VICE PRESIDENT
LASSITER BEING IN TOWN.

Sandra: VICE PRESIDENT
LASSITER! WHOA!

HA HA! YOU'VE GOT
YOUR HANDS FULL.

TERRIFIC SEEING YOU,
ROLLINS.

YOU LOOK
ABSOLUTELY THE SAME.

Rollins: I DIDN'T
THINK IT WOULD,

BUT RETIREMENT
SURE SUITS YOU.

YEAH.
THANK YOU SO MUCH.

I JUST WANT
TO TELL YOU THAT...

I HAVE THE CLEANEST LOCKER
IN THE PRECINCT.

I'M SURE YOU DO.

IT'S NEXT
TO GODLINESS.

OK, THAT'S TERRIFIC.

GOOD-BYE.

DON'T BE A STRANGER.

AW, NOT WITH YOU.

WHOO-HOO! WHOO!

WOW.

[CLIMB EV'RY MOUNTAIN
PLAYING]

SURE IS NICE TO SEE GOOD THINGS
HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

I MEAN IT.

♪ TILL YOU FIND

♪ YOUR DREAM

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

PUBLIC PERFORMANCE OF CAPTIONS
PROHIBITED WITHOUT PERMISSION OF
NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE

♪ DEEP IN THE HEART
OF EVERY MAN ♪

♪ LIES A HIDDEN DREAM
OR PLAN ♪

♪ TO BE A MILLIONAIRE

♪ LIFE WITHOUT A CARE

♪ HEY, COOL CAT

♪ DOES THIS APPLY TO YOU?

♪ OH, DON'T YOU LIE,
DON'T YOU LIE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T HIDE
THE TRUTH ♪

♪ I CAN SEE WHAT'S
BEHIND THOSE EYES ♪

♪ TONGUE SO TWISTED
FROM TELLING LIES ♪

♪ YOU MIGHT THINK
YOU'RE STRONG ♪

♪ BUT YOU BETTER NOT
TREAT ME WRONG ♪

♪ OR ELSE I'LL SAY,
"SO LONG" ♪

♪ GOOD-BYE, I NEVER WANT
TO SEE YOU AGAIN ♪

♪ GOOD-BYE, I DON'T WANT
TO BE YOUR FRIEND ♪

♪ SO LONG,
NOW WE'VE REACHED THE END ♪

♪ TIME FOR ME
TO TURN THAT BEND ♪

♪ WELL, TIME HAS RUN AWAY

♪ AND THERE'S NO NEED
FOR ME TO STAY ♪

♪ AND LOSE MYSELF TO YOU

♪ AND BE ABUSED BY YOU

♪ I DON'T NEED THE PAIN

♪ FROM YOUR MIND GAMES

♪ WHEN YOU TRY THEM AGAIN,
I WON'T BE THERE FOR THEM ♪

♪ TO WORK ANYMORE

♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH

♪ OOH OOH OOH OOH

♪ NOW YOU'RE BACK,
AND YOU'RE BEGGING "PLEASE" ♪

♪ CRAWLIN' ON
YOUR HANDS AND KNEES ♪

♪ YOU THOUGHT
YOU WERE A STAR ♪

♪ BUT NOW HERE YOU ARE

♪ HEY, COOL CAT

♪ DOES THIS APPLY TO YOU?

♪ OH, DON'T YOU LIE,
DON'T YOU LIE ♪

♪ 'CAUSE YOU CAN'T HIDE
THE TRUTH ♪

♪ I CAN SEE WHAT'S
BEHIND THOSE EYES ♪

♪ TONGUE SO TWISTED
FROM TELLING LIES ♪

♪ YOU MIGHT THINK
YOU'RE STRONG ♪

♪ BUT YOU BETTER NOT
TREAT ME WRONG ♪

♪ OR ELSE I'LL SAY,
"SO LONG" ♪

♪ GOOD-BYE, I NEVER WANT
TO SEE YOU AGAIN ♪

♪ GOOD-BYE, I DON'T WANT
TO BE YOUR FRIEND ♪

♪ SO LONG,
NOW WE'VE REACHED THE END ♪

♪ TIME FOR ME
TO TURN THAT BEND ♪

♪ WELL, TIME HAS RUN AWAY

♪ AND THERE'S NO NEED
FOR ME TO STAY ♪

♪ AND LOSE MYSELF TO YOU

♪ AND BE ABUSED BY YOU

♪ I DON'T NEED THE PAIN

♪ FROM YOUR MIND GAMES

♪ WHEN YOU TRY THEM AGAIN,
I WON'T BE THERE FOR THEM ♪

♪ TO WORK ANYMORE