Good Will Hunting (1997) - full transcript

Mod f x square dx.

So please finish Percival
by next time.

I know many of you had this as
undergraduates, but it won't hurt to brush up.

Thank you, Steven.

I also put an advanced Fourier system
on the main hallway chalkboard.

And I'm hoping that one of you might
prove it by the end of the semester.

Now, the person to do so
will not only be in my good graces...

but also go on to fame and fortune...

by having their accomplishment
recorded and their name printed...

in the auspicious M.I.T. Tech.

Former winners include Nobel laureates,
Field's medal winners...



renowned astrophysicists
and lowly M.I.T. Professors.

Well, that's all.

If you have any questions,
I'm sure that Tom has the answers.

- Hi, Will.
- Kirsten, how you doing?

- I'm all right. How are you?
- Good.

- I didn't get on Cathy last night.
- No?

- No.
- Why not?

- I don't know. Cathy!
- What?

Why didn't you give me none of that nasty
little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?

Oh, fuck you and your Irish curse,
Chuckie.

Like I'd waste my energy spreadin'
my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick?

- So go home and give it a tug yourself.
- Tootsie Roll!

Toot-Toots!

She's missin' a tooth, Will.



She's got skin problems.
I don't...

Plus, it's like 5-to-2, Morgan ends
up marryin' her, you know what I mean?

There's only so many times you can bang
your friend's future wife.

It's wrong.
Where you goin'?

- I'm gonna take off.
- Fuck you, you're takin' off. It's like, what, 10:00?

I'm tired.

Irish curse?

She don't know.
There ain't no Irish curse.

- Out!
- Stop brushing me back.

Stop crowding the plate!
Which one will it be?

You're gonna get charged,
you know that.

You think I'm afraid of you, you big
fuck? You're crowdin' the fuckin' plate.

Hey, uh, Casey's bouncin' up a bar, uh, at
Harvard next week. We should go up there.

- What are we gonna do up there?
- I don't know.

We'll fuck up some smart kids.
You'll probably fit right in.

Ow! Fuckin' punk!

- Oh, what's up? You still tough?
- Come on!

- You want this?
- Ah, come on, come on. That's it.

I'd hold you forever here

In my arms

- Professor Lambeau?
- Yes?

I'm in your applied theories class. We're
all up at the math and science building.

Come here. It's Saturday!

Unless you want to have a drink
with me tonight.

Maybe. We just couldn't wait
until Monday to find out.

- Find out what?
- Who proved the theorem.

This is correct.
Who did this?

- Jack?
- It wasn't me.

- Nemesh?
- No way.

- Come on, Joey Mac!
- Billy, McNamara's up.

Come on, kid!

- Joey, dig it out of there. Dig it out!
- I love the pitch!

Lay it down, Mac. That's how to do it!
Attaboy! Take two, Mac, take two!

- Nice hit.
- Taylor, you're up.

Hey, Morgan, who's the girl with
the striped pants? She's got a nice ass.

- Yeah, that's a real nice ass.
- Who's the guy she's with?

Lt's that fuckin' guinea. I hate
that little bitch. Will knows him.

- You know him?
- Yeah, fuckin' Carmine Scarpaglia.

That kid used to beat the shit out of me
in kindergarten.

- That guy?
- Yeah.

Fuck this.
Let's get some food.

Oh, what, Morgan,
you're not gonna go talk to her?

Fuck her.

- I could go for a Whopper.
- Let's go to Kelly's.

Morgan, I'm not goin' to Kelly's
just 'cause you like the take-out girl.

- It's 15 minutes out of our way.
- What the fuck are we gonna do? We can't spare 15 minutes?

Double burger.

Double burger?

Chuck I had a double burger

Would you shut the fuck up?
I know what you ordered. I was there.

- So give me my fuckin' sandwich.
- What do you mean, your sandwich? I bought it.

Morgan, how much money you got on you?

I said I'd get change when I get the snow
cone. I said that before when we pulled up.

Why don't you just gimme my sandwich
and stop bein' a prick?

All right, well, give me your fuckin' 16 cents that you
got on you now. We'll put your fuckin' sandwich on layaway.

Here we go. Keep it right up here
for ya. We'll put you on a programme.

Every day you come in with your six cents.
At the end of the week, you get your sandwich.

- Are you gonna be an asshole?
- What am I, fuckin' sandwich welfare?

I think you should establish
a good line of credit.

Like how you bought your couch:
Payment plans.

Remember how your mother brought
in ten dollars every day for a year?

She finally got her couch
Rent-A-Center style.

- Can I have my food now, please?
- Here's your fuckin' double burger.

- Whoa!
- Hey, hold up, Chuck.

- Slow it down.
- Who do we got?

- I don't know yet.
- Hey, douche bag!

- Yeah, you, you skank face!
- Shut the fuck up!

- Let's get outta here. - What are
you worried about? - Come on, Will.

Why don't you lick my love stick?

We just seen the guy 15 minutes ago at the park.
If we was gonna fight him, we should fight him then.

- We got snacks now.
- Shut up, Morgan, you're goin'.

- I'm not goin'. - So
don't go. - I am not goin'!

Fuckin' go, Morgan.

Let me tell you somethin'. If you're not out there in
two fuckin' seconds, when I'm done with them, you're next.

Carmine, it's me. It's me, Will.
Remember? We went to kindergarten together.

Way down the street
there's a light in his place

He opens the door
He's got that look on his face

- Fuckin', let's go, man!
- Step on his fuckin' head.

Get his ass on the ground.
Stop that motherfucker.

Motherfucker, die!

- Carter!
- Come on!

Will! Will, come on! Come on.

Will, come on.
Let's go, let's go.

- Easy, brother, easy.
- Hey, fellas, thanks for comin' out.

- Come here.
- Whoa, whoa!

Fuck!

Ls this just my imagination,
or has my class grown considerably?

Well, by no stretch of my imagination do I
believe you've all come here to hear me lecture.

Or rather, to ascertain the identity
of the mystery math magician.

So without further adieu, come forward,
silent rogue, and receive thy prize.

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint
my spectators, but...

it seems there will be
no unmasking here today.

However, um, my colleagues and I
have conferred...

and there is a problem
on the board right now...

that took us more than two years
to prove.

So let this be said:
The gauntlet has been thrown down...

but the faculty have answered
and answered with vigour.

- Hi.
- When's the arraignment?

Next week.

- Sorry. - What are
you doing? - Sorry.

That's people's work.
You can't graffiti here.

- Don't you walk away from me!
- Hey, fuck you!

Oh, you're a clever one.
What's your name?

Oh, my God.

Looks right.

Will, how retarded do you gotta be
to get fired from that job?

I mean, how hard is it to push
a motherfuckin' broom around the room?

Mitch, you got fired from pushin'
a fuckin' broom.

I got fired 'cause management
was restructuring.

Yeah, restructuring the amount
of retards they had workin' for 'em.

Shut up. You get canned
more than tuna, bitch.

- At least I got a motherfuckin' job right now, don't I?
- Yeah.

- Why did you get fired, Will? Come on.
- Uh, management was restructuring.

- My uncle could probably get you on a demo team.
- Can he do that?

- You kiddin' me? I asked you yesterday if I could get a job.
- And I told you "no" yesterday.

- What's up, Case? - What's
up, Case? - What's up, Big Case?

Let's sit over here.

Oh, this is,
this is a Harvard bar, huh?

I thought there'd be, like,
equations and shit on the walls.

I will take a pitcher
of the finest lager in the house.

Time-out. I'm gonna have to bust a little move
on them Harvard hotties down there at the bar.

- Work some magic.
- Get some potion for us.

- Oh, hello.
- Oh, hello.

- Hi, how are ya?
- Fine.

- So, do you ladies, uh...
- Come here often?

Do I come here? I come here a bit. I'm
here, uh, uh, you know, from time to time.

- Do you go to school here?
- Yep.

- Yeah. That's it. Yes, I think I had a class with you.
- Oh, yeah?

- What class?
- History.

- Maybe.
- Yes, I think that's what it was.

You don't necessarily... May not
remember me. You know, I like it here.

It doesn't mean 'cause I go here,
I'm a genius.

- I am very smart.
- Hey.

- Hey! How's it goin'? How are ya?
- Good. How ya doin'?

- You wanna...
- What, uh... What class did you, did you say that was?

- History.
- History. Yeah.

Just history? Lt must've been
a survey course then, huh?

- Yeah, it was. It was surveys.
- Right.

You should check it out. It's
a good course. It'd be a good class.

How'd you like that course?

You know, frankly, I found the class,
you know, rather, uh, elementary.

Elementary. You know,
I don't doubt that it was.

- Yeah.
- I, uh, I remember that class.

It was, um, it was
just between recess and lunch.

Clark, why don't you go away?

- Why don't you relax?
- Why don't you go just away?

I'm just having fun with my new friend.
That's all.

- What, we gonna have a problem?
- No, no, no, no, no. There's no problem here.

I was just hoping you might give me
some insight into the evolution...

of the market economy
in the southern colonies.

My contention is that, uh,
prior to the Revolutionary War...

the economic modalities,
especially in the southern colonies...

could most aptly be characterized as...

- agrarian precapitalist.
- Let me tell you something. All right?

Of course that's your contention.
You're a first-year grad student.

You just got finished readin' some
Marxian historian, Pete Garrison, probably.

You're gonna be convinced of that till
next month when you get to James Lemon.

Then you're gonna be talkin' about how the
economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania...

were entrepreneurial and capitalist
way back in 1740.

That's gonna last until next year. You're
gonna be in here regurgitatin' Gordon Wood...

talkin' about, you know,
the prerevolutionary utopia...

and the capital-forming effects
of military mobilization.

Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because
Wood drastically underestimates the impact of...

"Wood drastically, Wood drastically
underestimates the impact of social distinctions...

predicated upon wealth,
especially inherited wealth"?

You got that from Vickers'
Work in Essex County. Page 98, right?

Yeah, I read that, too. Were you gonna
plagiarize the whole thing for us?

Do you have any thoughts, uh,
of your own on this matter?

Or do you... Is that your thing?
You come into a bar.

You read some obscure passage and then
pretend... You, You pawn it off as your own...

As your own idea just to impress
some girls? Embarrass my friend?

See, the sad thing about a guy like you is, in 50 years
you're gonna start doin' some thinkin' on your own.

And you're gonna come up with the fact
that there are two certainties in life.

One: Don't do that.

And two: You dropped 150 grand
on a fuckin' education...

you could've got for $1.50
in late charges at the public library.

Yeah, but I will have a degree...

and you'll be servin' my kids fries at a
drive through on our way to a skiing trip.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, but at least
I won't be unoriginal.

But I mean, if you have a problem with that, I mean,
we could just step outside. We could figure it out.

No, man, there's no problem.
It's cool.

- It's cool?
- Yeah. - Cool.

- Fuckin' damn right, it's cool.
- How do you like me now?

My boy's wicked smart.

I just spent three minutes in this
fuckin' place, and run into a barney, huh?

Well, there it is.
Hello, nice to meet ya.

They were fine, man. I was gonna...
We was gonna close the deal...

but then Chuck, uh,
Billy insulted one of 'em...

and the heavyset girl said that I even had a
receding hairline, and I was a few pounds overweight.

And I was like, "Go fuck yourself. "

I swallowed a bug.

Hi.

- You're an idiot.
- What?

You're an idiot. I've been sitting over there for
45 minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me.

But I'm tired now,
and I have to go home.

And I, I couldn't sit there any more
waiting for you.

- Wh... I'm Will.
- Skylar.

- Skylar.
- Oh, and by the way...

that guy over there,
Michael Bolton clone...

he wasn't sitting with us,
so to speak.

Yeah, I know.
I kinda got that impression.

Good. Okay.
Well, I've got to go.

Gotta get up early and waste some
more money on my overpriced education.

- No, I didn't mean you. I...
- Ah, that's all right.

There's my number. So maybe we can
go out for coffee sometime.

All right, yeah. May-Maybe we can just
get together and eat a bunch of caramels.

- What do you mean?
- When you think about it, it's as arbitrary as drinkin' coffee.

Oh. Yeah. Okay.

- Uh, right, then.
- Come on.

- Yo! - Fuck you, bitch!
- Hey, fuck you the same.

- There goes them fuckin' barneys right now with their skiin' trip.
- Hold up. Hold up.

I should've beat that old bitch's ass.

Do you like apples?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Well, I got her number!
How do you like them apples?

We arrived tonight

The miles were over me

I turned off the light

So, come on, night

Everyone is gone

Home to oblivion

So come on

So come on by

Tom.

Excuse me. Is this the Buildings
and Grounds office?

Yeah. What can I do for you?

I just need the name of a student
who works here.

- No students work for me.
- Well, could you please check?

I have this guy who works
in my building. He's about this high.

- Which one is your building?
- Two.

Two. Building two.

- Look, if anything was stolen, I should know about it.
- No, no, no. It's nothing like that.

I just need his name.

I can't give you his name
unless you have a complaint.

- This is Professor Lambeau.
- And this is Professor Hayes.

Tom, please.

This is important. Please.

Willy didn't show up for work today.

Got this job through his P.O.
You can call him.

- P.O.?
- Yeah. Parole officer.

Thank you.

Asshole.

There is a lengthy legal precedent,
Your Honour, going back to 1789...

whereby a defendant can claim self-defense
against an agent of the government...

if that act is deemed a defence against
tyranny, a defence of liberty.

Your Honour, Henry Ward Beecher, in Proverbs from
the Plymouth Pulpit, 1887, said, and I quote...

- 1887? This is the 20th century, Your Honour.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.

- He's gonna make a mockery of the courtroom.
- I am afforded the right...

to speak in my own defence, sir, by
the Constitution of the United States.

- This is the same document which guarantees my liberty.
- Don't tell me about the Constitution of the United States.

And liberty, in case you've forgotten,
is a souI's right to breathe.

And when it cannot take a long breath,
laws are girded too tight.

- Without liberty, man is a syncope.
- Man is a what?

- Ibid., Your Honour.
- Son, my turn.

I've been sitting here for ten minutes
now lookin' over this rap sheet of yours.

I just can't believe it.
June '93, assault.

September '93, assault.

Grand theft auto, February of '94.

Where, apparently, you defended yourself
and had the case thrown out by citing...

"free property rights of horse
and carriage" from 1798.

Joke. January '95,
impersonating an officer.

Mayhem, theft, resisting.
All overturned.

I'm also aware that you've
been through several foster homes.

The state removed you from three
because of serious physical abuse.

You know, another judge might care,
but you hit a cop. You're going in.

Motion to dismiss is denied.
$50,000 bail.

- Thank you.
- Court, rise.

- Hello?
- Uh, Skylar?

- Yep.
- Hey, uh, it's Will.

- Who?
- It's Will.

You know, the really funny, good-looking
guy you met at the bar the other night.

I don't recall meeting anyone who matched
that description. I think I'd remember.

Oh, all right, you got me. It's
the ugly, obnoxious, toothless loser...

who got hammered
and wouldn't leave you alone all night.

Oh, Will! I remember.

- How are you? I-I was wondering
if you'd call me. - Yeah, look.

- I was wondering...
- Yo, so, baby. What's up?

- Hold on one second.
- What you doing?

- Hey!
- What's up, baby? Want some of my ass?

- Herve! I remember you from juvi. How you doing?
- What's up, baby? What you doing?

Ah, yeah, sorry about that. Um...

I was wonderin' maybe we could
get together, um, sometime this week.

You know, sit out at a cafe.
Maybe have some caramels.

- Oh, that sounds wonderful.
- Yeah?

Yeah. Sure. Where are you?

Um, well, actually, this is, uh,
this is just a shot in the dark...

but, uh, there's no chance that you're,
uh, pre-law, is there?

- Have a seat.
- Thank you.

Nice talking to ya.

What the fuck do you want?

I'm Gerald Lambeau.

The professor you told
to fuck himself.

Well, what the fuck do you want?

I've spoken to the judge, and he's agreed
to release you under my supervision.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- But under two conditions.
- What are those?

First condition is that
you meet with me every week.

- What for?
- Go over the proof you're working on...

get into some, some more advanced...

combinatorial mathematics...

finite math.

Sounds like a real hoot.

And the second condition is that,
that you see a therapist.

And I'm responsible to submit reports
on those meetings.

And if you fail to meet with any
of those conditions...

you will have to serve time.

All right. I'll do the math, but I'm not
gonna meet with any fuckin' therapist.

It's better than spending that time
in jail, isn't it?

I read your book, and, uh, and, and
"Mike" was havin' the same problems...

that "Chad," the stockbroker,
was havin'.

Absolutely right. Right on the button.
Good for you, Will. Very nice.

Thank you.

Will, the pressures,
and I'm not judging them...

I'm not, uh, labelling them...

but they are destroying
your potential.

Now no more shenanigans.
No more tomfoolery. No more ballyhoo.

You're right.

God, I know.

You know, you're not gonna get off
that easily. Come on, Will, a bit more.

Well, I mean, I do, I do do things,
you know? I mean...

What, uh, what kind of things?

I do things that, you know, I, uh... You
know, I mean, I hide from, from people.

- You hide, do you?
- No, no. I mean, I like... I, I go places. I interact, you know.

- Really? What sort of places?
- Just certain clubs.

More. That's nice, yes.
What sort of clubs?

- Like, um, like Fantasy.
- Fantasy?

- It's not bad.
- Bit more.

It's just something like when you get
in there and, the music like owns you.

It's like that house music.
It's like...

- You know, you start dancin'. It's just...
- Boom, boom, boom. Yes.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

Do you find it hard to hide the fact
that you're gay?

What are you... What are you...
What are you talking about? What?

Look, buddy, two seconds ago,
you were ready to give me a jump.

A jump? Are you...

I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you.
But...

I don't have a problem with it.
I don't care if you putt from the rough.

What are you... P-Putting from the rough?
What on earth are you talking about?

A difficult theorem
can be like a symphony.

It's very erotic.

You go somewhere else.
I can't handle this.

- Wow.
- Thank you, Henry.

Ah, Henry.

Hi, Gerry. Hey, you know something?
I can't do this pro bono work any more.

It's just not... It's not worth it.

- What happened?
- Well, I'm going on national television next week.

I mean, I haven't got time to tell you,
much less talk to that raving loony in there.

An absolute lunatic, he is.

Henry.

Okay, you are in your bed, Will.

Now, how old are you?

Seven.

What do you see?

Something's in my room.

What is it?

Lt's like a, uh... It's a figure.
It's, it's hoverin' over me.

You are in a safe place, Will.

It's t... It's touching me.

Where is it touching you?

Lt's touching me down there.

And, uh, I'm nervous.

You don't have to be nervous, Will.

We start dancin' and dancin'.

It's just beautiful,
'cause we can make...

A lot of love before the sun goes down

Skyrockets in flight

Afternoon delight

- Hey, hey afternoon delight
- Jesus.

Skyrockets in flight

- I'm sorry, Rich.
- I have better things to do with my time.

Hey, hey afternoon delight

Come on, one dance! You, you really
hypnotized me, you know.

- For God's sake, Will.
- What? Oh, come on.

I... He left.
You can't pin that on me.

I told you to cooperate
with these people.

- Look into my eyes.
- Get out, Will.

- I don't need therapy.
- That's enough! Get out!

I called Mel Weintraub this morning
to see...

Oh, what's the use?

What do you want to do?

- Well, there is someone.
- Who is he?

He used to be my, um...

my roommate in college.

Trust. Very important
in a relationship.

It's also very important
in a clinical situation.

Why is trust
the most important thing...

in making a breakthrough
with a client?

Maureen, stop the oral fixation
for a moment and join us.

Vinnie?

Um, because, uh...

Trust is, uh... Trust is life.

Wow. That's very deep.
Thank you, Vinnie.

Next time, get the notes
from your brother.

You know, if a patient doesn't feel safe enough
to trust you, then he won't be honest with you.

Then there's really no point for them
being in therapy.

I mean, hey, if they don't trust you, you know,
you're never gonna get them to sleep with you.

And that should be the goal
of any good therapist.

Nail them while they're vulnerable.
That's my motto.

Oh, good, everyone's back.
Welcome back, everybody.

- Hello, Sean.
- Hey, Gerry.

Um, ladies and gentlemen,
we are in the presence of greatness.

Professor Gerald Lambeau, Field's medal
winner for combinatorial mathematics.

- Hello.
- Anyone know what the Field's medal is?

Lt's a really big deal.
It's like the Nobel prize for math.

Except they only give it out
once every four years.

It's, it's a great thing.
It's an amazing honour.

Okay, everybody, that's it for today.
Thanks. Um...

We'll see you Monday.
We'll be talking about Freud.

Why he did enough cocaine
to kill a small horse. Thank you.

How are you?

- It's good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Sean?
- Yeah?

I think I got
something interesting for ya?

What? You have to have blood and urine?
What's up?

- Why didn't you come to the reunion?
- Time. You know, I'm... I've been busy.

- You were missed.
- Really?

So, how long has it been
since we've seen each other?

- Before Nancy died.
- Yeah. I'm sorry.

I was in Paris.
It was that damn conference.

I got your card.
It was nice.

- Come here.
- Now, that's a good takedown.

Hey, uh, what happened?
Did you, uh, get leniency or what?

I got, uh, probation and then, uh,
counselling two days a week.

Joke. You're a smoothie.
Come on, Morgan! Just submit!

Hey, Bill, just, just get off him.
We're gonna miss the game.

- I've got a full schedule.
- Sean, Sean. - I'm very busy.

This, this boy is incredible.
I've never seen anything like him.

What makes him so incredible, Gerry?

- Ever heard of Ramanujan?
- Yeah, yeah. No.

It's a man. He lived over 100 years ago.
He was, uh, Indian.

- Dots not feathers.
- Not feathers. Yeah.

Well, he lived in this tiny hut
somewhere in India.

He had no formal education.

- He had no access to any scientific work.
- Coffee?

- You, sir? - Just
a little. - And, um...

But he came across
this old math book.

And from this simple text,
he was able to extrapolate theories...

that had baffled mathematicians
for years.

Yes. Continued fractions.
Yeah, he, he wrote, uh...

- Well, he, he mailed it to Hardy at Cambridge.
- Yeah. Cambridge. Yeah.

And Hardy immediately recognized
the brilliance of his work...

and brought him over to England, and
then they worked together for years...

creating some of the most exciting
math theory ever done.

Uh, This, this Ramanugan...

his, his genius was unparalleled, Sean.

Well, this boy's just like that.

But he's, um, he's a bit defensive.

And I need someone
who can get through to him.

- Like me?
- Yeah, like you.

- Why?
- Well, because you have the same kind of background.

- What background?
- Well, you're from the same neighbourhood.

- He's from Southie?
- Yeah.

Boy genius from Southie.

- How many shrinks you go to before me?
- Five.

- Let me guess. Barry?
- Yeah.

- Henry? -
Yeah. - Not Rick?

Sean, please,
just meet with him once a week.

Please?

Lt's a poker game with this kid.
Don't let him know what you've got.

He's probably even read your book,
if he could find it.

It's gonna be hard for him to find.

- Hi, Will.
- Hi.

This is Sean Maguire. Will Hunting.

How are ya?

- Yeah, let's get started.
- Yeah, let's do it.

I'm pumped!
Let's let the healing begin.

- Will you excuse us?
- Yeah, please, Tom.

- You, too, Gerry.
- Yeah, of course.

How are you?

Where are you from in Southie?

- I like what you've done with the place.
- Oh, thanks.

Do you buy all these books retail,
or do you send away for like...

a shrink kit that comes
with all these volumes included?

- Do you like books?
- Yeah.

- Did you read any of these books?
- I don't know.

- How about any of these books?
- Probably not.

What about the ones on the top shelf?
You read those?

- Yeah, I read those.
- Good for you. What do you think about 'em?

Hey, I'm not here for a fuckin' book report.
They're your books. Why don't you read 'em?

I did. I had to.

- It must've taken you a long time.
- Yeah, it did.

United States of America:
A Complete History, Volume I.

Jesus.

If you wanna read a real history book, read Howard
Zinn's A People's History of the United States.

That book will fuckin' knock you
on your ass.

Better than Chomsky's
Manufacturing Consent?

- Do you think that's a good book?
- You fuckin' people baffle me.

You spend all your money
on these fuckin' fancy books.

You surround yourselves with 'em.
They're the wrong fuckin' books.

- What are the right fuckin' books, Will?
- Hey, whatever blows your hair back.

Yeah. Haven't got much hair left.

Hey, you know you'd be better off shoving that cigarette
up your ass. It'd probably be healthier for you.

- Yeah, I know. It really gets in the way of my yoga.
- You work out, huh?

- What, you lift?
- Yeah.

- Uh, Nautilus?
- No, free weights.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Free weights, huh?

- Yeah, big time. -
Yeah? - Just like that.

- What do you bench?
- 285. What do you bench?

You paint that?

Yeah. You paint? Do you sculpt?

- No.
- Do you like art?

Do you like music?

This is a real piece of shit.

Oh. Well, tell me
what you really think.

Uh, just, uh, the linear
and impressionistic mix...

makes a very muddled composition.

It's also a Winslow Homer rip-off, except
you got whitey, uh, rowin' the boat there.

Well, it's art, Monet.
It wasn't very good.

- That's not really what concerns me though.
- What concerns you?

- Just the colouring.
- You know what the real bitch of it is?

Lt's paint-by-number.

Is it colour-by-number? Because
the colours are fascinating to me.

- Aren't they, really? What about that?
- You bet.

I think you're about one step away
from cuttin' your fuckin' ear off.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah.

Think I should move to the south
of France, change my name to Vincent?

You ever heard the sayin',
"any port in a storm"?

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Maybe that means you.

In what way?

- Uh, maybe you're in the middle of a storm, a big fuckin' storm.
- Yeah, maybe.

The sky's fallin' on your head. The
waves are crashin' over your little boat.

The oars are about to snap.

You just piss in you pants.
You're cryin' for the harbour.

So maybe you do
what you gotta do to get out.

You know, maybe you became
a psychologist.

Bingo. That's it. Let me do my job now.
You start with me. Come on.

- Maybe you married the wrong woman.
- Maybe you should watch your mouth!

Watch it right there, chief,
all right?

Ah.

Mmm, that's it, isn't it?

You married the wrong woman.

What happened?
What, did she leave you?

Was she, you know,
banging some other guy?

Lf you ever disrespect my wife again,
I will end you.

I will fuckin' end you.

Got that, chief?

- Time's up.
- Yeah.

At ease, gentlemen.

You okay?

Look, I'll, I'll understand
if you don't wanna meet with him again.

Thursday, 4:00.
Make sure the kid's here.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Well, you look lovely in those glasses.

- Thank you very much.
- They're just beautiful.

Yes, I always wanted
dark blue eye shadow.

Wonderful.

Growing up in England, you know,
I went to a very nice school.

You know, it was kind of progressive,
organic, do-it-yourself, private school.

Then Harvard. Hopefully med school.

You know, I figured out,
at the end...

my brain's gonna be worth $250,000.

That sounded horrible, didn't it?

Bring me another mai tai!

No, that's cool, I mean,
I bet your parents were happy to pay.

No, I was happy to pay.
I inherited the money.

Wow. Well, is, uh,
is Harvard gettin' all that money?

No. Stanford. I'm going there in June
when I graduate.

All right, so you just wanted to, to use
this sailor and then, uh, run away, huh?

I was gonna, you know, experiment on you
for anatomy class first, obviously.

Oh, in that case, that's fine.

Hey, you wanna see my magic tricks,
Skylar?

- Of course.
- All right. Promise...

All right.

- This one's for you, Rudolph.
- Wait, wait, you need my wand.

All right, give me a hit.
Thank you. All right.

I'm gonna make
all these caramels disappear.

You ready? Ready.

One, two, three.

They're all gone. Yeah. That, that was...
It works better when I have my rabbit.

Well...

I don't really date, you know,
that much.

How very unfortunate, I think for me.

You know what I mean.
I know you've been thinking about uh...

- Oh, no, I haven't.
- Yes, you have.

- No, I really haven't.
- Yes, you have! You were hoping to get a good night kiss.

No, you know, I tell ya.
I was hoping to get good-night laid.

But I'll settle for like a good kiss,
you know.

- How very noble of you.
- Thank you.

No, I was, I was hopin' for a kiss.

Well, I think we should just get it
out of the way now.

- Right now?
- Yeah.

Come on.

I think I got some of your pickle.

You again, huh?

Come with me.

So what's this? A Taster's Choice
moment between guys?

This is really nice.
You got a thing for swans?

Ls this like a fetish? Ls it something
like maybe we need to devote some time to?

I thought about what you said to me
the other day. About my painting.

Oh.

Stayed up half the night
thinkin' about it.

Something occurred to me.

I fell into a deep, peaceful sleep
and haven't thought about you since.

- You know what occurred to me?
- No.

You're just a kid. You don't have the
faintest idea what you're talking about.

- Why, thank you.
- It's all right.

You've never been out of Boston.

Nope.

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give
me the skinny on every art book ever written.

Michelangelo.
You know a lot about him.

Life's work. Political aspirations.
Him and the pope.

Sexual orientation.
The whole works, right?

I bet you can't tell me what
it smells like in the Sistine Chapel.

You never actually stood there
and looked up at that beautiful ceiling.

Seen that.

If I ask you about women...

you'll probably give me a syllabus
of your personal favourites.

You may have even been laid
a few times.

But you can't tell me what it feels like
to wake up next to a woman...

and feel truly happy.

You're a tough kid.

I ask you about war, you'd probably, uh,
throw Shakespeare at me, right?

"Once more into the breach,
dear friends. "

But you've never been near one.

You've never held
your best friend's head in your lap...

and watch him gasp his last breath
lookin' to you for help.

I ask you about love,
you'd probably quote me a sonnet...

but you've never looked at a woman
and been totally vulnerable.

Known someone that could
level you with her eyes.

Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth
just for you...

who could rescue you
from the depths of hell.

And you wouldn't know
what it's like to be her angel...

to have that love for her
be there forever.

Through anything. Through cancer.

And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in
a hospital room for two months holding her hand...

because the doctors could see
in your eyes...

that the terms "visiting hours"
don't apply to you.

You don't know about real loss...

'cause that only occurs when you love
something more than you love yourself.

I doubt you've ever dared
to love anybody that much.

I look at you, I don't see
an intelligent, confident man.

I see a cocky, scared shitless kid.

But you're a genius, Will.
No one denies that.

No one could possibly understand
the depths of you.

But you presume to know everything about
me because you saw a painting of mine.

You ripped my fuckin' life apart.

You're an orphan, right?

Do you think I'd know the first thing
about how hard your life has been...

how you feel, who you are...

because I read Oliver Twist?

Does that encapsulate you?

Personally, I don't give a shit
about all that.

Because you know what? I can't learn anything
from you I can't read in some fuckin' book.

Unless you want to talk about you,
who you are.

Then I'm fascinated.
I'm in.

But you don't wanna do that,
do you, sport?

You're terrified
of what you might say.

Your move, chief.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Professor Valenti,
are you calling me again?

Freak.

Oh. Oh, God.

- Christ, who did you call?
- No one. I forgot the number.

You fuckin' retarded? You went all the way out
there in the rain, and you didn't bring the number?

No, it was your mother's 900 number.
I just ran out of quarters.

Why don't we get off of mothers?
I just got off of yours.

That's pretty funny, Morgan.
That's a fuckin' nickel, bitch!

- Keep antagonizing me, watch what happens.
- All right, then, Morgan.

- Watch what happens. - All right,
then, Morgan! - Watch what happens.

- What are you gonna fuckin' do to me?
- Keep fuckin' with me.

No smoking.

What do you mean, he didn't talk?
You were in there for an hour.

He just sat there counting the seconds
until the session was over.

- It's pretty impressive, actually.
- Why would he do that?

To prove to me he doesn't have
to talk to me if he doesn't want to.

What is this? Some kind of staring contest
between two kids from the old neighbourhood?

Yeah, it is,
and I can't talk first.

We know your theory, Alexander, but the
boy's found a simple geometrical picture.

- A tree structure won't work.
- Look now. He's joining the two vertices.

- But I can do the sum.
- Well, it's how you group the terms, Alexander.

But, Gerry, if we do the whole thing
this way, then...

Hey, look, look.

I wrote it down.
It's simpler this way.

Sometimes people get lucky.

You're a brilliant man.

You know, I was on this plane once.

And I'm sittin' there, and, uh...

the captain gets on, he does his whole, you
know, "We'll be cruisin' at 35,000 feet. "

But then he puts the mike down,
he forgets to turn it off.

And so he turns to the copilot.
He's like, "You know...

all I could use right now is
a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee. "

So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin' up from the
back of the plane to tell him the microphone's still on.

This buy in the back of the plane's like,
"Hey, hon, don't forget the coffee. "

You ever been on a plane?

No, but it's a fuckin' joke. It works
better if I tell it in the first person.

Yeah, it does.

I have been laid, you know.

Really? Goody for you.

- Big time. Big time.
- Big time, huh?

Yeah. I went on a date last week.

- How'd it go?
- It was good.

- You goin' out again?
- I don't know.

- Why not?
- Haven't called her.

- Christ, you're an amateur. -
I know what I'm doin'. - Really?

Yeah. Don't worry about me.
I know what I'm doin'.

Yeah, but this girl is like,
you know, beautiful.

She's smart. She's fun. She's different
from most of the girls I've been with.

So call her up, Romeo.

Why? So I can realize
she's not that smart?

That she's fuckin' boring?
You know, I mean, you don't...

This girl is like fuckin' perfect
right now. I don't wanna r-ruin that.

Maybe you're perfect right now.
Maybe you don't wanna ruin that.

But I think that's
a super philosophy, Will.

That way you can go through your entire life
without ever having to really know anybody.

My wife used to fart
when she was nervous.

She had all sorts
of wonderful idiosyncrasies.

You know, she used to fart
in her sleep.

Sorry I shared that with you.

And one night it was so loud,
it woke the dog up.

She woke up and gone like,
"Was that you?"

I said, "Yeah. " I didn't have the heart
to tell her. Oh, God.

- She woke herself up?
- Yes.

Oh, Christ. Ah, but, Will, she's been dead
two years and that's the shit I remember.

It's wonderful stuff, you know?
Little things like that.

Yeah, but those are the things
I miss the most.

The little idiosyncrasies
that only I knew about.

That's what made her my wife.

Boy, and she had the goods on me, too.
She knew all my little peccadillos.

People call these things imperfections,
but they're not.

Oh, that's the good stuff.

And then we get to choose who we let
into our weird little worlds.

You're not perfect, sport.

And let me save you the suspense.

This girl you met,
she isn't perfect either.

But the question is whether or not
you're perfect for each other.

That's the whole deal.
That's what intimacy is all about.

Now, you can know everything
in the world, sport...

but the only way you're findin' out
that one is by givin' it a shot.

You certainly won't learn
from an old fucker like me.

Even if I did know,
I wouldn't tell a pissant like you.

Yeah, why not? You told me
every other fuckin' thing. Jesus Christ.

You fuckin' talk more than any shrink
I ever seen in my life.

I teach the shit.
I didn't say I knew how to do it.

Yeah.

- You ever think about gettin' remarried?
- My wife's dead.

- Hence the word "remarried. "
- She's dead!

Yeah. Well, I think that's
a super philosophy, Sean.

I mean, that way you can actually
go through the rest of your life...

without ever really knowing anybody.

Time's up.

Hold it open.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

I am happy with you

I know I'm about to love you

Yeah, yeah, yeah
You know him

Oh, my, you made me...

"G" minor seventh.
Saddest of all chords.

- Hello.
- Hey.

- Where have you been?
- I'm sorry. I've been like...

I've been really busy, and...
But, um...

Me, too. Yeah.

I... I thought you'd call.

Yeah. Um...

- I mean, we had a really good time.
- I had a really good time, too.

I mean, I just... I...

I'm sorry, you know.
I, I blew it.

No, no. I mean, you know,
it's all right.

Yeah. Uh, so I was, I was wonderin' if, uh,
if, you know, you'd give me another crack at it.

- You know, let me take you out again.
- Oh, I can't.

- All right.
- Oh, no. I didn't...

I didn't mean I can't, like ever.
I just can't right now.

I've got to assign the proton spectrum
for "ebogamine. "

All that sounds really, really
interesting.

It's actually fantastically boring.

- All right, um...
- But, um, maybe some other time.

- Like tomorrow?
- Um, yeah, all right.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- What are you doing here?
- I couldn't wait till tomorrow.

- Where the fuck did you get this?
- I had to sleep with someone in your class.

Oh, I hope it was someone with the
open-toed sandals and the really bad breath.

- Come on, let's go have some fun.
- No, I... I've got to learn this.

Well, you're not goin' to his surgery
tomorrow, are you?

- No.
- Let's go.

Oh, my God. My dog is winning!

Come on, Misty!

Come on, run! Look at that!
Come on!

Look, there he goes.
Misty, run! Come on!

- And Misty flying down the track.
- We won.

I totally won!

- So did you grow up around here, then?
- Not far. South Boston.

- Still glowing from my win.
- Yeah, I know. Look at you.

You're so happy.

- What was that like then?
- It was, you know, normal I guess. Nothin' special.

Do you got lots of brothers and sisters?

- Do I have a lot of brothers and sisters?
- That's what I said.

Well, Irish Catholic,
what do you think?

Right. That's right.

- How many?
- You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

- Why? Go on. What? Five?
- No.

Seven? Eight? How many?

- I have 12 big brothers.
- You do not have 12 brothers.

I swear to God, I swear to God.
I'm lucky 13 right here.

Do you know all their names?

- Do I... Yeah, they're my brothers.
- What are they called?

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey,
Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

Say it again.

Marky, Ricky, Danny, Terry, Mikey, Davey,
Timmy, Tommy, Joey, Robby, Johnny and Brian.

- And Willy.
- Willy?

- Yeah.
- Will.

Wow! Do you still see all of them?

Yeah, well, they all live in Southie. I'm,
I'm livin' with three of 'em right now.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

- Well, I'd like to meet them.
- Yeah, we'll do that.

Oh, you know, I read your book
last night.

Oh, so you're the one.

Do you still, uh, do you still
counsel veterans?

- No, I don't.
- Why not?

Well, I gave it up
when my wife got sick.

You ever wonder what your life
would be like if you, uh...

if you never met your wife?

- What, wonder if I'd be better off without her?
- No, no, no.

- I'm not saying like better off. I didn't mean it like that.
- No, it's all right.

It's an important question.

'Cause you'll have bad times,
but that'll always wake you up...

to the good stuff
you weren't paying attention to.

And you don't regret
meetin' your wife?

Why? 'Cause the pain I feel now?

Oh, I got regrets, Will, but I don't
regret a single day I spent with her.

So when did you know, like,
that she was the one for you?

October 21, 1975.

Jesus Christ, you know the fuckin' day?

Oh, yeah, 'cause it was game six of the
World Series, biggest game in Red Sox history.

Yeah, sure.

My friends and I had, you know, slept out
on the sidewalk all night to get tickets.

- You got tickets?
- Yep. Day of the game I was sittin' in a bar...

waitin' for the game to start,
and in walks this girl.

It was an amazing game, though. You
know, bottom of the 8th, Carbo ties it up.

It was 6-6.
It went to 12.

Bottom of the 12th, in stepped Carlton
Fisk, old Pudge. Steps up to the plate.

- You know, he's got that weird stance.
- Yeah, yeah.

And then, boom!
He clocks it, you know. High!

Fly ball down the left field line!

35,000 people on their feet
yellin' at the ball.

But that's nothin', 'cause Fisk,
he's wavin' at the ball like a madman.

- You know, "Get over! Get over!"
- Yeah, I've seen that. Right. Right.

"Get over!" And then it hits
the foul pole.

Well, he goes ape-shit, and 35,000 fans,
you know, they charge the field. You know?

- Yeah, and he's fuckin' blowin' people outta the way.
- And he's goin', goin', "Look out!

Get outta the way!
Get outta the way!"

I can't fuckin' believe you had tickets to
that fuckin' game! Did you rush the field?

No, I didn't rush the fuckin' field.
I wasn't there.

- What?
- No, I was in a bar having a drink with my future wife.

- You missed Pudge Fisk's home run?
- Oh, yeah.

To have a fuckin' drink with some lady
you never met?

Yeah, but you should've seen her.
She was a stunner.

- I don't care if fuckin'...
- Oh, no, no, she lit up the room.

- I don't care if Helen of Troy walks into the room! That's game six!
- Oh, Helen of Troy.

Oh, my God. And who are these fuckin' friends
of yours? They let you get away with that?

- Oh, they had to. - What do you mean,
they had? W- What did you say to 'em?

I just slid my ticket across the table
and I said...

"Sorry, guys. I gotta see about a girl. "

"I gotta go see about a girl"?
Yeah, that's what you said?

- I had to.
- And they let you get away with that?

Oh, yeah. They saw it in my eyes
that I meant it.

- You're kiddin' me?
- No, I'm not kidding you, Will.

That's why I'm not talkin' right now about
some girl I saw at a bar 20 years ago...

and how I always regretted
not goin' over and talkin' to her.

I don't regret the 18 years
I was married to Nancy.

I don't regret the six years I had to
give up counselling when she got sick.

And I don't regret the last years
when she got really sick.

And I sure as hell don't regret
missin' a damn game.

That's regret.

Wow!

Would've been nice
to catch that game, though.

I didn't know Pudge
was gonna hit a home run.

You know, I'm very, very useful
on the court. I'm extremely tall.

- You're not that tall.
- I dunk.

Will I ever play in the N.B.A.?

"Lt is decidedly so. " Hmph.

Why do we always stay here?

'Cause it's nicer than my place.

Yes, but I've never seen your place.

I know.

When am I gonna meet your friends
and your brothers?

Oh. Well, they don't really
come down here that much.

Well, I think I can make it
to South Boston.

It's kind of a hike.

Is it me you're hiding from them
or the other way around?

- All right, we'll go.
- When?

I don't know.
We'll go sometime next week.

What if I said I would not sleep with you
again until you let me meet your friends?

I'd say it's, like, 4:30 in the mornin'.
They're probably up.

Oh, my God.
Men are shameless.

If you're not thinking with your wiener,
then you're acting directly on its behalf.

You bet. And on behalf of my wiener,
can I get like an advance payment?

I don't know. Let's ask.

- "Outlook does not look good. "
- What?

Fuck the... Hey, Chuck. No, nothing.
Go back to sleep.

"Outlook does not... " That's the same thing that told
you you was gonna play in the N.B.A. I think I'm in.

Well, exactly, so look out. You better
start buying some season tickets.

I- I plan to. I'm tall.
I like wearing shorts.

Hook, hook. Dunk, dunk.

- You're not that tall.
- Yes, I am.

Maybe I'm all about three points.

I'm all about home runs.

Stop mixing your sporting metaphors.

A leprechaun's got his dick
in the monkey's ass.

And Morgan comes runnin' in, goin',
"I don't mind it. I don't mind... "

Will, I can't believe you brought Skylar here
when we're fuckin' all bombed and drinkin'.

I know, Morgan. It's a real rarity
we'd be all drinkin'.

You know, my Uncle Marty drinks. You know.
He'll go on a bender for six, eight months.

I ever tell you what happened to him when he
was drivin' up there and he got pulled over?

- I told you guys, right?
- Marty, Marty, yeah.

Let me tell you about... Let me tell ya
what happened to my Uncle Marty...

because you oughta know this.

He's always tellin' stories. Every time
we come here, he's got another story.

But we all heard this one.
Go ahead, just say it anyway. Go ahead.

I will go ahead. Thanks a lot.
Guess I have the floor now.

Um, yeah, my Uncle Marty's
drivin' home, right?

Bombed out of his tree, right? Just
hammered out of his gourd. Just wrecked!

This state trooper, uh, sees him
and pulls him over.

So my uncle's fucked, basically. Got him out
of the car, and tried to make him walk the line.

He gets out of the car, you know, pukes and the
guy statie's pretty sure he's over the legal limit.

So, he's about to throw the cuffs on him
and put him in jail.

All of a sudden, 50 yards down the road
there's this huge fuckin' boom, right?

- So statie gets real spooked, and he turns around...
- He got shot?

- No, no.
- So, so...

- You've heard this story before.
- Yeah, Morgan, stop it. Stop it.

Some other guy's car had hit a tree.
Okay? There was an accident.

- Anyway... Shut the fuck up!
- How could he hear the other car accident if it wasn't right behind him?

- I'm gonna break your neck. - You're driving
him nuts, Morgan. - Shut up! Okay, shut up.

- Sorry.
- He told you the story once before. Go ahead.

So he tells my uncle,
"Stay here. Don't move. "

So statie goes runnin' down the road
to deal with the other accident.

After a few minutes of, of just lyin'
in his own piss and vomit...

my uncle st-starts wonderin'
what he's doin' there.

Gets up, gets in his car
and just drives home.

Well, the next mornin',
my uncle's just passed out...

and he hears this knocking at the door.

So he goes downstairs,
fuckin' pulls the door open. "What?"

Lt's the state trooper
that pulled him over.

Statie says, "Fuck you mean, 'What? '
You know what.

I pulled you over last night is what,
and you fuckin' took off. "

He's like, "Bet you I never seen you
before in my life.

I've been home all night with my kids.
I don't know who the fuck you are. "

He said, "You know who I am.
Let me get in your garage. "

My uncle's like, "What?" He said, "You
heard me. Let met get in your garage. "

My uncle's like, "All right, fine. " Takes
him 'round to the garage, opens the door.

And there's... The statie's police
cruiser is in my uncle's garage.

He was so fuckin'... He was so fuckin'
hammered, he drove the wrong car home.

And the best part about it is
the fuckin' state trooper...

had been so embarrassed,
he didn't do anything...

'cause he'd been drivin' around all night
in my uncle's Chevelle lookin' for the house.

All right, Chuck, what the fuck
is the point of your story?

Well, he goes away.
That's the point.

- All right. Well, question. Are you...
- Come on, stop.

I'm tryin' to clarify somethin', probably
'cause you're too embarrassed to ask...

'cause you know
it doesn't make any sense.

It does make sense if you listen
to the story and quit askin' questions.

Morgan, let's see if you can get this
one. I've got a little story for ya.

All right. There's an old couple
in bed. Mary and Paddie.

And they wake up on the morning
of their 50th anniversary.

And Mary looks over
and gazes adoringly at Paddie.

She's like, "Oh, Jesus, Paddie. You're
such a good-lookin' fella. I love ya.

I want to give ya
a little present.

Anything your little heart desires,
I'm goin' to give it to ya.

What would you like?"

Paddie's like, "Oh, gee, Mary.
That's a very sweet offer.

Now, in 50 years,
there's one thing that's been missin'...

and, uh, I would like you
to give me a blow job.

I would like for it. "
And Mary's like, "All right. "

She takes her teeth out, puts them in
the glass, and she gives him a blow job.

And afterwards, Paddie's like, "Yeah,
geez, now that's what I've been missin'.

That was the most beautiful,
earth-shattering thing ever!

Beautiful, Mary! I love ya!

Ls there anything
that I can do for you?"

And Mary looks up to him
and she goes, "Give us a kiss. "

- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

- That's filthy.
- Not that filthy. I've heard filthier.

Get off of me! Lt's this fuckin'...

- All right, see you guys later.
- All right. Take it easy, Bill.

So, Skylar, thanks for comin' by.

Changed my opinion of Harvard people.

Ah, well, you don't want to rush the judgment on
that one 'cause, you know, they're not all like me.

Oh, well, I'm sure.
But it was nice to meet ya.

- Take it easy.
- Oh, all right.

- Slowly back away.
- Oh, come on. Hey. Brother.

I don't know what you're doin', dude.
You're givin' us a ride.

- What the fuck do I look like to you?
- Come on, Chuck.

Else you're walkin', bitch.
WilI's takin' the car.

All right. Thanks, Chuck.
I appreciate it.

Wait, wait. I don't know what
you're gettin' all serious about.

You're droppin' me off first.

- Dude, it's really out of the way.
- Oh, okay.

- It's real far. - Just 'cause you have
to sleep in your one-room palace tonight...

- don't start thinkin' you're bad.
- All right, come on.

Hey, wait a minute. You said
we were gonna see your place.

- No, not tonight.
- Oh, no, not tonight. Not any other night, hon.

He knows once you see that little shit-hole,
he's gettin' dropped like a bad habit.

But I wanted to meet
your brothers.

No. We're gonna do that another time.

All right.

Need them keys.

The stewardess hears this and
goes haulin' ass down the aisle.

And I yell,
"Don't forget the coffee. "

No shit!
You didn't say that.

- For Christ's sake, Marty, it's a joke.
- Yeah.

- I know someone that it actually happened to, Marty.
- A joke?

- Gerry. Have trouble findin' the place?
- Hi. No, I took a cab.

Timmy, this is Gerry.
We went to college together.

- How you doin'? Nice to meet ya.
- Pleased to meet ya.

- Can I get you a beer?
- Uh, no, just a Perrier.

That's French for club soda.

- Huh. Club soda, yeah.
- Yeah. A couple of sandwiches, too.

- Sure.
- Put it on my tab.

You ever plan on payin' your tab?

Yeah, chief. Got the winning
lottery ticket right here.

- What's the jackpot?
- $12 million.

- I don't think that'll cover it.
- Yeah, but it'll cover your sex change operation.

- Nuts?
- No, thank you.

So, you wanted to talk about Will.

- Well, it seems to be going well.
- I think so.

Have you talked to him at all
about his future?

No, we haven't gotten into that yet.
We're still bangin' away at the past.

Well, maybe you should. My phone's been
ringing off the hook with job offers.

- What kind?
- Well, cutting edge mathematics, think tanks.

The kind of place where a mind
like WilI's is given free rein.

That's, that's great
that there are offers...

but I, I don't really think
he's ready for that.

I'm not sure you understand, Sean.

- Well, what don't I understand?
- Here you go, guys.

- Thanks, Tim.
- Yeah, thank you.

Just so you don't get
sticky fingers, huh?

Tim, can you help us?
We're tryin' to settle a bet.

Uh-oh.

- You ever heard of Jonas Salk?
- Sure. Cured polio.

- Ever heard of Albert Einstein?
- Hey.

How about Gerald Lambeau?
Ever heard of him?

- No.
- Thank you, Tim.

- So, who won the bet?
- I did.

This isn't about me, Sean. I'm...

I'm nothing compared to this young man.

You ever hear of Gerald Lambeau?

In 1905 there were hundreds
of professors renown...

for their study of the universe,
but it was a...

It was a 26-year-old
Swiss patent clerk...

doing physics in his spare time
who changed the world.

Can you imagine if Einstein
would have given that up...

just to get drunk with his buddies
in Vienna every night?

We all would've lost something.
Tim would never have heard of him.

- Pretty dramatic, Gerry.
- No, it isn't, Sean.

This boy has that gift.

He just hasn't got the direction,
but we can give that to him.

Hey, Gerry,
in the 1960s...

there was a young man graduated
from the University of Michigan.

Did some brilliant work in mathematics.

Specifically,
bounded harmonic functions.

Then he went on to Berkeley.
He was assistant professor.

Showed amazing potential. Then he moved to
Montana and he blew the competition away.

- Yeah, so who was he?
- Ted Kaczynski.

Haven't heard of him.

- Hey, Timmy!
- Yo!

- Who's Ted Kaczynski?
- Unabomber.

That's exactly what I'm talking about.
We gotta give this kid direction.

He can contribute to the world, and,
and we can help him do that.

- Direction's one thing. Manipulation's another, all right?
- Sean!

- We have to let him find...
- Sean, I'm not sitting at home every night twisting my mustache...

and hatching a, hatching a plan
to ruin this boy's life.

I was doing advanced mathematics
when I was, when I was 18...

and it still took me over 20 years to do
something worthy of a Field's medal.

Well, maybe he doesn't want
what you want.

There's more to life
than a fuckin' Field's medal.

This is too important, Sean,
and it's above personal rivalry.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Gerry.
Let's talk about the boy.

Why don't we give him time
to figure out what he wants?

That's a wonderful theory, Sean.
It worked wonders for you, didn't it?

Yeah, it did,
you arrogant fuckin' prick.

Well, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that I came here today.

I came here out of courtesy.
I- I wanted to keep you in the loop.

Oh, nice to be in the loop.

The boy's in a meeting right now
I set up for him over at McNeil.

Well, Will, uh, I'm not
exactly sure what you mean.

We've already offered you
a position.

Nobody in this town works
without a retainer, guys.

You think you can find somebody who does,
let me tell you, you have my blessin'.

But I think we all know that person's
not gonna represent you as well as I can.

Will, our offer
i- is $84,000 a year plus...

Retainer
Retainer.

You want us to give you cash
right now?

Whoa-ho-ho. Go easy.
Now, I didn't say that.

Allegedly, your situation, for you...

would be concurrently improved...

if I had $200
in my back pocket right now.

Well, I don't think I-I can, uh, uh...
Larry?

- I've got $73.
- Uh, will you take a cheque?

Let me tell you somethin'.
You're suspect.

Yeah, you.

I don't know what your reputation is
in this town...

but after the shit you tried to pull
today, you can bet I'll be lookin' into you.

Now, any business
we have heretofore...

you can speak with
my aforementioned attorney.

Good day, gentlemen.
And until that day comes...

keep your ear to the grindstone.

- How's it goin'?
- Fine.

Yeah.

Good.

- You want some help?
- No.

- Come on. Give me one little peek, we'll go to the batting cages.
- No.

It is actually important
that I learn this.

- It's really important to me. Okay?
- All right. All right.

- So, why don't we just hang out here all day?
- Yes, why don't we?

All right, Mr Nosey Parker.

Seeing as you're intent
on breaking my balls...

let me ask you a question.

All right.

Do you have a photographic memory?

I don't know.
I just kinda remember, you know?

I mean, how do you remember your
phone number? You know? You just do.

- Well, have you studied organic chemistry?
- A little bit.

- Oh, just for fun?
- Yeah, for kicks.

Yeah, it's so much fun
studying organic chemistry.

Are you mad?

Have you completely lost your mind?
Nobody studies it for fun.

It's not a, a necessity,
especially for someone like you.

- Someone like me?
- Yeah.

Someone who divides their time fairly
evenly between batting cages and bars.

I mean, I would hardly say
it was a necessity.

Oh.

You know, there are very smart people
here at Harvard.

And even they have to study,
because this is really hard.

And yet, you do it so easily.

I don't understand. I, I, I don't
understand how your mind works.

- Do you play the piano?
- I want to talk about this.

No, I'm trying to explain it to you.
Do you play the piano?

- Yeah, a bit.
- All right. So when you, when you look at a piano, you see Mozart.

- I see "Chopsticks. "
- All right. Well, Beethoven, okay?

He looked at a piano, and it just
made sense to him. He could just play.

- So, what are you saying? You play the piano?
- No, not a lick.

I mean, I look at a piano, I see a bunch
of keys, three pedals and a box of wood.

But Beethoven, Mozart,
they saw it, they could just play.

I couldn't paint you a picture. I
probably can't hit the ball out of Fenway.

And I can't play the piano.

But you can do my O-chem paper
in under an hour.

Right. Well, I mean, when it came
to stuff like that...

I could always just play.

That's the best I can explain it.

- Come here. I have to tell you something.
- Huh?

- I have to tell you something.
- Oh.

Well...

- It's not fair.
- What's not fair? What?

I've been here for four years...

and I've only just found you.

Well, you found me.

Are you awake?

Nope.

Yes, you are.

Will, come to California with me.

What?

I want you to come to California
with me.

You sure about that?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, but how do you know?

I don't know.
I just know.

Yeah, but h-how do you know?

I know because I feel it.

- 'Cause that's a really serious thing you're sayin'. I mean...
- I, I know.

You could be in California next week,
and you know...

you might find out something about me
you don't like, and, you know...

maybe you wish you hadn't said that, but
you know it's such a serious thing...

that you can't take it back,
and now I'm stuck in California...

with someone that doesn't really want to
be with me, just wish they had a take-back.

A what? What's a take-back?

I don't want a take-back.

I just want you to come
to California with me.

Well, I can't go to California
with you, so...

- Why not?
- Well, one, because I, I, I got a job here.

And two, because I live here.

Look, um, if you don't love me,
you should just tell me because...

I'm not sayin' I don't love you.

Then why? Why won't you come?
What are you so scared of?

What am I so scared of?

Well, what aren't you scared of?

You live in this safe little world where no one challenges
you, and you're scared shitless to do anything else.

- Because that might mean that you'd have to change.
- Don't, don't tell me about my world. Don't tell me about my world.

I mean, you just wanna have your little fling
with like the guy from the other side of town.

Then you're gonna go off to Stanford.
You're gonna marry some rich prick...

who your parents will approve of,
and just sit around...

with the other trust-fund babies and talk
about how you went slummin', too, once.

Why are you saying this?

What is your obsession with this money?

My father died when I was 13,
and I inherited this money.

You don't think every day I wake up,
and I wish I could give it back.

That I would give it back in a second...

if it meant I could have one more day
with him, but I can't.

And that's my life,
and I deal with it.

So don't put your shit on me
when you're the one that's afraid.

I'm afraid? W-W-What am I afraid of?
So, what the fuck am I afraid of?

You're afraid of me. You're afraid
that I won't love you back.

And you know what?
I'm afraid, too!

But fuck it, I wanna give it a shot.
And at least I'm honest with you.

- I'm not honest with you?
- No. What about your 12 brothers?

All right.

No, you're not going.
You're not leaving.

What do you wanna know? What?
That I don't have 12 brothers?

- That I'm a fuckin' orphan? No, you don't wanna hear that.
- I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

No, you don't wanna hear that. You don't wanna hear that I
got fuckin' cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid.

- Honey, I didn't know that.
- That this isn't fuckin' surgery.

That the motherfucker stabbed me.
You don't wanna hear that shit, Skylar!

- I do wanna hear that.
- Don't tell me you wanna hear that shit!

- I wanna hear it because I wanna help you, because I wanna be with you.
- Help me? What the fuck!

What do I got, a fuckin' sign
on my back that says, "Save me"?

- No.
- Do I look like I need that?

- No! God, I just want to be with you because I love you.
- Don't bullshit me. Don't bullshit me.

- Don't you fuckin' bullshit me!
- I love you. I love you.

I love you.

I wanna hear you say
that you don't love me.

Because if you say that...

then I won't call you...

and I won't be in your life.

I don't love you.

You don't...

Most people never get to see
how brilliant they can be.

They don't find teachers
that believe in them.

They get convinced they're stupid.

I hope you appreciate
what he's doing...

because I've seen how much
he enjoys working with you...

not against you.

Hello, Will.

Tom, can you get us some coffee?

Sure.

Now, let's see.

Good. This is correct.

I see you used Maclaurin here.

Yeah, I don't know what
you call it, but...

This can't be right.

This would be very embarrassing.

- Did you ever consider...
- I'm pretty sure it's right.

Hey, look, can we do this
at Sean's office from now on?

Because I, I gotta knock off work to
come here and the commute is killing me.

Yeah, sure.

- But did you think of the possibility...
- It's right.

It's right.
Just take it home with you.

What happened at the McNeil meeting?

I couldn't go. I had a date.
So, uh, so I sent my chief negotiator.

On your own time, you can do
whatever you like, Will.

But when I set up a meeting with,
with my associates...

and you don't show up,
it reflects poorly on me.

- Well, then don't set up any more meetings.
- Well, I won't.

I'll cancel them.

I'll give you a job myself. I, I just
wanted you to see what was out there.

Look, maybe I don't wanna spend the, the rest of my
fuckin' life sittin' around explaining shit to people.

I think you could show me
some appreciation.

A little appreciation? Do you know
how easy this is for me?

Do you have any fuckin' idea how easy
this is? This is a fuckin' joke.

And I'm sorry you can't do this.
I really am.

Because I wouldn't have to fuckin'
sit here and watch you fumble around...

and fuck it up.

Then you'd have more time to sit around
and get drunk instead, wouldn't you?

You're right. This is probably
a total waste of my time.

Yeah, you're right, Will.

I can't do this proof.

But you can. And when it comes to that,
it's only about...

It's just a handful of people in the world
who can tell the difference between you and me.

- But I'm one of 'em.
- Sorry.

Yeah, so am I.

Most days I wish I never met you...

because then I could sleep at night.

And I didn't, I didn't have to walk
around with the knowledge...

that there was someone like you
out there.

I- I didn't have to watch you
throw it all away.

Bill, hold it.

Did you hear that?

Morgan!

Lf you're watchin' pornos
in my mom's room again...

I'm gonna give you a fuckin' beatin'.

What's up, fellas?

Morgan, dude, why don't you jerk off
in your own fuckin' house, dude?

- That's fuckin' filthy.
- I don't got a V.C.R. At my house.

- You're kiddin'.
- Come on. Not in my glove.

I didn't, I didn't use the glove.

That's my Little League glove.

What do you want me to do?

I mean, what's wrong with you?

You'll hump a baseball glove?

I didn't. I didn't.
I just used it for the, for cleanup.

Will you stop jerkin' off
in my mother's room, please?

- Is there another V.C.R. In the house?
- It's just sad, bro.

So why do you think I should work
for the National Security Agency?

Well, you'd be working
on the cutting edge.

You'd be exposed to the kind of technology
that you wouldn't see anywhere else...

because we've classified it.

Superstring theory,
chaos math, advanced algorithms.

Code breaking.

Well, that's one aspect
of what we do.

Oh, come on.
I mean, that is what you do.

You guys handle 80%
of the intelligence workload.

You're seven times the size
of the C.I.A.

We don't like to brag
about that, Will.

But you're exactly right.

So, the way I see it,
the question isn't...

"Why should you work for the N.S.A.?"

The question is:
"Why shouldn't you?"

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.?

That's a tough one,
but I'll take a shot.

Say I'm workin' at the N.S.A.
And somebody puts a code on my desk.

Somethin' no one else can break.

Maybe I take a shot at it,
and maybe I break it.

And I'm real happy with myself
'cause I did my job well.

But maybe that code was the location of some
rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East.

And once they have that location, they bomb
the village where the rebels are hidin'.

Fifteen hundred people that I never met,
never had no problem with, get killed.

Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh,
send in the marines to secure the area. "

'Cause they don't give a shit. It won't
be their kid over there gettin' shot.

Just like it wasn't them
when their number got called...

'cause they were all pullin' a tour
in the National Guard.

It'll be some kid from Southie
over there takin' shrapnel in the ass.

He comes back to find that the plant
he used to work at...

got exported to the country
he just got back from...

and the guy who put the shrapnel
in his ass got his old job...

'cause he'll work for 15 cents a day
and no bathroom breaks.

Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason
he was over there in the first place...

was so that we could install a government
that would sell us oil at a good price.

And, of course, the oil companies used a little
skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices.

A cute little ancillary benefit
for them...

but it ain't helpin' my buddy
at $2.50 a gallon.

They're takin' their sweet time
bringin' the oil back, of course.

Maybe they even took the liberty
of hirin' an alcoholic skipper...

who likes to drink martinis and
fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs.

It ain't too long till he hits one,
spills the oil...

and kills all the sea life
in the North Atlantic.

So now by buddy's out of work.
He can't afford to drive...

so he's walkin' to the fuckin'
job interviews, which sucks...

because the shrapnel in his ass
is givin' him chronic haemorrhoids.

And meanwhile, he's starvin' 'cause every
time he tries to get a bite to eat...

the only blue plate special they're servin'
is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State.

So what did I think?

I'm holdin' out for something better.

I figure, fuck it. While I'm at it,
why not just shoot my buddy...

take his job,
give it to his sworn enemy...

hike up gas prices, bomb a village,
club a baby seal...

hit the hash pipe
and join the National Guard?

I can be elected president.

- You feel like you're alone, Will?
- What?

Do you have a soul mate?

Do I have a...
Define that.

Somebody who challenges you.

- Uh, Chuckie.
- No, Chuckie's family.

He'd lie down
in fuckin' traffic for you.

No, I'm talkin' about someone who opens
up things for you, touches your soul.

- I got... I got...
- Who?

- I got plenty.
- Well, name 'em.

Shakespeare, Nietzsche, Frost,
O'Connor, Kant, Pope, Locke...

- That's great. They're all dead.
- Not to me they're not.

Nah. You don't have
a lot of dialogue with them.

You can't give back to them, Will.

Not without some serious smelling salts
and a heater.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

You'll never have that kind
of relationship in a world...

where you're always afraid
to take the first step...

because all you see is every
negative thing ten miles down the road.

- You gonna take the professor's side on this?
- Don't give me a line of shit.

- No.
- Look, I didn't want the job.

It's not about the job. I don't care
if you work for the government.

But you can do anything you want.
You are bound by nothing.

What are you passionate about?
What do you want?

I mean, there are guys who work
their entire life layin' brick...

so their kids have a chance
at the opportunities you have here.

- I didn't ask for this.
- No.

You were born with it, so don't cop out
behind, "I didn't ask for this. "

What do you mean, "cop out"? I mean,
w- w-what's wrong with layin' brick?

- Nothin'.
- There's nothin' wrong with it. That's, that's somebody's home I'm buildin'.

Right. My day laid brick, okay? Busted
his ass so I could have an education.

Exactly. That's an honourable profession.
What's wrong with, with fixin' somebody's car?

Someone will get to work the next day
because of me. There's honour in that.

Yeah, there is, Will. There's honour
in that. And there's honour in...

you know, taking that
40-minute train ride...

so those college kids could come in
in the morning and the floors are clean.

And the wastebaskets are empty.
That's real work.

- That's right.
- Right. And that's honourable.

Sure, that's why you took that job.
I mean, for the honour of it.

I just have a little question here.

You could be a janitor anywhere.

Why did you work at the most prestigious
technical college in the whole fuckin' world?

And why did you sneak around at night
and finish other people's formulas...

that only one or two people in the world
could do, and then lie about it?

'Cause I don't see a lot of honour
in that, Will.

So what do you really want to do?

- I wanna be a shepherd.
- Really?

I wanna move up to Nashua,
get a nice little spread...

get some sheep
and tend to them.

- Maybe you should go do that.
- What?

You know, if you're gonna jerk off, why don't
you just do it at home with a moist towel?

- You're chuckin' me?
- Yeah, get the fuck outta here.

- Hey, no, no, no. Time's not up yet.
- Yeah, it is.

- I'm not leavin'. No.
- Listen, you're not gonna answer my questions.

- You're wastin' my fuckin' time.
- What? I thought we were friends. What do you mean, you...

- Playtime's over, okay?
- Well, why you kickin' me out, Sean? I mean, what... I mean...

You're lecturin' me on life?
Look at you, you fuckin' burnout.

- What winds your clock?
- Workin' with you.

Where's your soul mate? You wanna talk
about soul mates? Where is she?

- Dead.
- That's right, she's fuckin' dead.

She fuckin' dies, and you just
cash in your chips and you walk away?

- Hey, at least I played a hand.
- Oh, and you played a hand and you lost. You lost a big fuckin' hand.

And some people will lose a big hand like
that and have the sack to ante up again.

Look at me.
What do you wanna do?

You and your bullshit. You got
a bullshit answer for everybody.

But I ask you a very simple question,
and you can't give me a straight answer.

Because you don't know.

See ya, Bo-Peep.

- Fuck you.
- You're the shepherd.

Shepherd.

White little prick.

I just wanted to, you know, um...

call you up, uh, before you left, um...

I've been takin' all these, uh,
job interviews and stuff...

so I'm not gonna be
just a construction worker.

Well, you know,
I never really cared about that.

Yeah.

I love you.

Will?

You take care.

Someone's always comin'
around here

- Trailin' some new kill
- Bye.

Says I seen your picture

On a hundred dollar bill

What's a game of chance to you

In this world

Of real skill
So glad to meet you

Angeles

Pickin' up the ticket shows

There's money to be made

Go on, lose the gamble

That's the history of the trade

Did you add up
all the cards left to play

To zero
And sign up with people

Angeles

Don't start with me tryin'

Will, come on.
Will!

Will, that's it.
We're done here.

I'm sitting in your office
and the boy isn't here.

Well, it's ten past 5:00.
An hour and ten minutes late.

I can make you satisfied
in everything

Well, what if he doesn't show up
and I file a report...

saying he wasn't here
and he goes back to jail?

Lt won't be on my conscience.

Now becoming true

Okay. Fine.

What's up?

Thanks.

Fuck, that's good.

So how's your lady?

Ah, she's gone.

Gone? Gone where?

Uh, med school.
Medical school in California.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- When was this?
- It was like a week ago.

That sucks.

So, uh, when are you done
with those meetin's?

I think the week after I'm 21.

Yeah? They gonna hook you up
with a job or what?

Yeah. Fuckin' sit in a room and do
long division for the next 50 years.

Ah, probably make some nice bank though.

I'm gonna be a fuckin' lab rat.

Better than this shit.
Way outta here.

Well, uh, what do I want a way
out of here for?

I mean, I'm gonna fuckin' live here
the rest of my life.

You know, be neighbours.
You know, have little kids.

Fuckin' take them to Little League
together up Foley Field.

Look, you're my best friend
so don't take this the wrong way...

but in 20 years,
if you're still livin' here...

comin' over to my house to watch the
Patriot's games, still workin' construction...

I'll fuckin' kill ya.

- That's not a threat. That's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill ya.
- What?

What the fuck are you talkin' about?

- Look, you got something none of us have.
- Oh, come on. W-Why is it always this?

I mean, I fuckin' owe it to myself to do
this or that. What if I don't want to?

Oh, no, no, no. No, fuck you.
You don't owe it to yourself.

You owe it to me...

'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up
and I'll be 50...

and I'll still be doin' this shit.

And that's all right. That's fine.

I mean, you're sittin' on
a winnin' lottery ticket.

And you're too much of a pussy
to cash it in, and that's bullshit.

'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything
to have what you got.

So would any of these fuckin' guys.

It'd be an insult to us
if you're still here in 20 years.

Hangin' around here
is a fuckin' waste of your time.

- You don't know that.
- I don't?

- No, you don't know that.
- Oh, I don't know that.

Let me tell you what I do know.

Every day I come by your house
and I pick you up.

And we go out and we have a few drinks
and a few laughs, and it's great.

You know what the best part
of my day is?

For about ten seconds, from when I pull
up to the kerb and when I get to your door.

'Cause I think maybe I'll get up there
and I'll knock on the door...

and you won't be there.

No "goodbye," no "see ya later. "
No nothin'. You just left.

I don't know much, but I know that.

This is a disaster, Sean.

I brought you in here because
I wanted you to help me with the boy.

- Not to run him out.
- I know what I'm doing with the boy, Gerry.

I don't care if you have a rapport with the boy! I
don't care if you have a few laughs, even at my expense.

But don't you dare undermine
what I'm trying to do here.

- Undermine?
- This boy is at a fragile point right now.

I do understand. He is at a fragile
point, okay? He's got problems.

Well, what problems does he have, Sean? That he's
better off as a janitor? That he's better off in jail?

Better off hanging out with a bunch
of retarded gorillas?

Oh, why do you think he does that, Gerry?
Do you have any fuckin' clue why? Hmm?

He can handle the problems. He can handle
the work, and he obviously handled you.

Gerry, listen to me. Listen. Why is he
hiding? Why doesn't he trust anybody?

Because the first thing that happened to him, he was
abandoned by the people who were supposed to love him the most.

- Oh, come on, don't give me that Freudian crap.
- Oh, no, listen, Gerry.

And why does he hang out with those
retarded gorillas, as you call them?

Because any one of them, if you asked them to,
would take a fuckin' bat to your head. Okay?

- That's called loyalty.
- Yeah, that's very touching.

And who is he handling? He pushes people
away before they have a chance to leave him.

It's a defence mechanism, all right?

And for 20 years he's been alone
because of that.

And if you push him right now, it's
gonna be the same thing all over again.

And I'm not gonna let
that happen to him.

- Now, don't you do that, Sean.
- What, Gerry?

Don't you do that. Don't infect him
with the idea that it's okay to quit.

That it's okay to be a failure,
because it's not okay, Sean.

And if you're angry at me for being, being
successful, for being what you could have been, Sean...

- I'm not angry at you, Gerry.
- Oh, yes, you're angry at me, Sean.

You resent me. But I'm not gonna
apologize for any, any success I've had.

You're angry at me for doing what
you could have done.

But ask yourself, Sean. Ask yourself
if you want Will to feel that way.

- Lf you want him to feel like a failure.
- Oh, you arrogant shit!

That's why I don't come
to the goddam reunions.

'Cause I can't stand
that look in your eye.

- You know, that condescending embarrassed look?
- Oh, come on, Sean.

You think I'm a failure.
I know who I am.

And I'm proud of what I do.
It was a conscious choice.

I didn't fuck up.

And you and your cronies think
I'm some sort of pity case.

You and your kiss-ass chorus following you around
going, "The Field's medal! The Field's medal!"

Why are you still so fuckin' afraid
of failure?

Lt's about my medal, is it? Oh, God, I could
go home and get it for you. You can have it.

Oh, please don't. You know... You know what, Gerry?
Shove the medal up your fuckin' ass, all right?

'Cause I don't give a shit about your medal because
I knew you before you were a mathematical god.

When you were pimple-faced and homesick, and
didn't know what side of the bed to piss on.

Yeah, you were smarter than me then
and you're smarter than me now.

So don't blame me for how your life
turned out. It's not my fault.

I don't blame you. It's not about you,
you mathematical dick!

Lt's about the boy.
He's a good kid.

And I won't see you fuck him up like
you're trying to fuck up me right now.

I won't see you make him feel
like a failure, too.

- He won't be a failure, Sean!
- But, but if you push him, Gerry...

- If you ride him...
- Sean, I am what I am today...

because I was pushed and
because I learned to push myself.

He's not you! Do you get that?

- I can come back.
- No, come in. Uh...

I was just leaving.

A lot of that stuff goes back a long way
between me and him.

You know. Not about you.

- What is that?
- This is your file.

I have to send it back to the judge
for evaluation.

Oh.

Hey, you're not gonna fail me, are you?

What's it say?

- Wanna read it?
- Why?

Have you had any, uh, experience
with that?

Twenty years of counselling.
Yeah, I've seen some pretty awful shit.

I mean, have you had any experience
with that?

Personally?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, I have.

It sure ain't good.

My father was an alcoholic.
Mean, fuckin' drunk.

He'd come home hammered,
lookin' to whale on somebody.

So I'd provoke him so he wouldn't
go after my mother and little brother.

Interesting nights
were when he wore his rings.

Yeah, he used to just put
a, uh, a wrench...

a stick and a belt
on the table...

and just say, "Choose. "

Well, I gotta go with the belt
there, then.

- I used to go with the wrench.
- Why the wrench?

'Cause fuck him, that's why.

- Your foster father?
- Yeah.

So, uh, you know, what is it? Like Will has
an attachment disorder? Ls it all that stuff?

Fear of abandonment?

Ls that why, uh, is that why
I broke up with Skylar?

- I didn't know you had.
- Yeah, I did.

- You wanna talk about it?
- No.

Hey, Will?

I don't know a lot.

But you see this?
All this shit?

This is not your fault.

Yeah, I know that.

Look at me, son.

It's not your fault.

- I know.
- No. It's not your fault.

- I know.
- No, no, you don't.

It's not your fault.

- I know.
- It's not your fault.

- All right.
- It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Don't fuck with me.

- It's not your fault.
- Don't fuck with me. All right?

- Don't fuck with me, Sean. Not you.
- It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Oh, God.

Fuck them, okay?

- Can I help you?
- Yeah, I'm, uh, Will Hunting.

- I'm here about a position.
- Could you just have a seat for a moment?

Yes, there's a Mr Hunting in the lobby.
He's here for his appointment.

Which one did you take?

I was over at, uh, McNeil. It's one of
the jobs the professor set me up with.

Uh, I haven't told him yet, but I went, I
went down there and I talked to my boss, and...

My new boss.
He seemed like a good guy.

Is that what you want?

Yeah, you know, I think so.

Well, good for you.
Congratulations.

Thanks.

Time's up.

So that's, so that's it?
So we're, we're done?

Yeah, that's it.

You're done. You're a free man.

Well, um, I just want you
to know, Sean, that...

You're welcome, Will.

So, you know, I, I hope
we keep in touch, you know.

Yeah, me, too.

I'll be travelling around a bit,
and it'll be a little hard, but, uh...

I've got an answering machine at
the college I'll be checking in with.

So, here's the number.

You call that, and I'll
get back to you right away.

Yeah, you know,
I figured I'm just gonna...

put my money back on the table
and see what kind of cards I get.

You do what's in your heart, son.
You'll be fine.

Yeah.

- Thank you, Sean.
- Yeah.

Thank you, Will.

Hey, does this violate the, uh,
patient-doctor relationship?

Nah. Only if you grab my ass.

- Take care.
- You, too.

Yeah.

Hey.

Good luck, son.

Two beers!

- What's up? Did you guys go?
- No. I had to talk him down.

Why didn't you yoke him?

Uh, little Morgan's got
a lot of scrap to him.

You know, people try to whip his ass
every week. Fuckin' kid won't back down.

- What are you sayin' about me?
- Was I talkin' to you? Mind your fuckin' business.

- Go get me a beer.
- I ordered two beers.

- Hey, asshole.
- What, bitch?

- Happy birthday.
- Thought we forgot, huh, bitch? Fuckin' come on.

- Come on. I got ya first.
- I'm goin'. I'm goin'.

- All right, who's first?
- Come on, motherfucker.

- All right. Who's first? Come on. Who's first?
- Oh, Danny boy

Here's your present.

- Come on, brother.
- What?

Well, we knew you had to get back and
forth to Cambridge for your new job.

And, anyway, I wasn't gonna
fuckin' drive you every day, so...

- Fuckin' can't be.
- Morgan wanted to get you a "T" pass.

That's not what I was sayin'.

But, uh, 21 now, so...

You're legally allowed to drink, so we
figured the best thing for you, kid, was a car.

- How do you like it?
- This is like...

This is the ugliest fuckin' car
I ever seen in my life.

- Come on, brother.
- How'd you guys do this?

You know, me and Bill
scraped together the parts...

and, uh, Morgan was out
panhandlin' for change every day.

- I had the router do all the bodywork.
- Yeah, I have a fuckin' job, too, brother.

Guy's been up my ass for two years about
a job. I had to let him help with the car.

So you finally got a job,
huh, Morgan?

Yeah, had one.
Now I'm fucked again.

- So what is it, a lawn mower? What do ya got?
- It's a straight fuckin' six.

Me and Bill rebuilt this engine
ourselves here.

It's a good car, dude.
The engine's good. Engine's good.

- Happy 21, Will.
- Happy 21, brother.

Hi.

Come on in.

- Sean, I, um...
- Me, too, Gerry.

Yeah. Good.

- I heard you're takin' some time.
- Yeah.

I'll travel a little bit,
maybe write.

So where are you going?

India and China and Baltimore.

Oh.

- You know when you'll be back?
- Well, I got this flyer the other day.

It says, uh, class of '72
is having a reunion in six months.

Yeah, I got one of those, too.

Why don't you come?
I'll buy you a drink.

The drinks at those things are free.

I know, Gerry.
I was being ironical.

Oh.

How about a drink right now?

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Come on. This one's on me.

- Got the winner right here, pal.
- Oh.

Yes, sir, this is the one.

This is my ticket to paradise.

Sean, do you know what the odds are
against winning the lottery?

- What, four to one?
- About 30 million to one.

- I still have a shot, you know?
- Yes, just about as big a chance...

as you being hit by lightning
here on the staircase right now.

Aw, that's a possibility, too, Gerry.

- I mean, 32 million. If you look at the size...
- Sean!

Will!

Will?

He's not there.

I'll fake it through the day

Sean, if the professor calls
about that job...

just tell him sorry.

I had to go see about a girl.
Will.

Son of a bitch.
He stole my line.

With two tickets

Torn in half for LA

With nothing to do

Do you miss me

Miss Misery

Like you say you do

I know you'd rather see me gone

Than to see me

The way that I am

But I am in the life anyway

Next door

The TV's flashing blue

Frames on the wall

It's a comedy

Of errors, you see

It's about taking a fall

To vanish

Into oblivion

It's easy to do

And I try to be

But you know me
I come back

When you want me to

Do you miss me

Miss Misery

Like you say you do

Gonna find my baby
Gonna hold her tight

Gonna grab
some afternoon delight

My motto's always been
When it's right, it's right

Why wait until the middle
of a cold, dark night