Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022) - full transcript

Ciao.
- Bye.

Hello!
I'm Leo. You must be Nancy.

That's right.

May I come inside?
- Yes, of course. Yes, of course.

May I kiss you on the cheek?

Yes, that would be fine.

You smell wonderful.
- Thank you.

What is it?
- Coco Chanel.

Nigel la Lawson wears it.

Ah, Nigel la. So sexy.

Don't you agree?



Yes, no, I... I was waiting
for you to say, "for her age".

Most people say, when a woman's over
about 42, that she's sexy "for her age."

I was waiting...
I was waiting for that.

Ah, right. Uh, no, Nigel la Lawson
is empirically sexy, at any age.

Hey, Nancy?
- Yes?

We're gonna have a great time.
- OK.

OK.

I tell you what
I'd love right now...

What?
- A drink.

A drink, of course,
of course. Sorry.

What can I get you?

How about a glass of fizz
to ease us into the mood.

A glass of fizz. Hold on.

Allow me.



For you.
- Thanks very much.

To being empirically sexy.

Yes. I'll drink to that.

A very fine vintage.

It's just from the minibar.

Oh, you meant me.

Me.
- I'm just teasing.

Righto, righto.
- Shall we sit?

Yes, let's sit.

So, what would you...
- So, you enjoy music...

by people?

Yeah, I do.

What kind of music do you like?

Oh, I don't know.
All sorts, um...

Sorry, I'm a bit
distracted cos, um...

cos up close you really are
very good-looking.

Mm.
- Thank you.

Even more than in your photo.

Ah, I'm better in 3D.

Mm.

I hope that you received, um...

the contractual.

Oh, the money?

The money, yes, sorry. I didn't
want to be crass and just say it.

There's nothing crass about getting paid
for your work, Nancy, trust me on that.

And thank you,
it's all received.

Are you Irish?
- Yes, I am.

Have you been doing this long?

A little while now, yeah.

Long enough to know some things.

Do you enjoy it?

You know what? I love it, Nancy.

Meeting all kinds of people,
getting up to all sorts of things...

mutual pleasure.

You don't feel... demeaned then?

Not at all.

Or degraded?
- No.

But what if you meet someone
and you really just...

don't want to do it?

Hasn't happened yet.

Really?
- Really.

I find that astonishing.

How many have you...
- Oh, a gentleman never tells.

Oh, of course, yes.

You don't have to worry, Nancy.
This is just about us tonight.

So, what is your fantasy?

Um...

I'm not sure you could really
class it as a fantasy as such.

It's a bit mundane for that.

OK, well, what
would you most desire?

I mean, desires
are never mundane.

Um...

to have sex...

tonight, um, with you.

That's about it, really.

For the moment.

Great.
- But do you mind?

Do you want... I mean, am I...

...a disappointment,
so to speak?

OK?

OK, OK.
- Top-up?

Yes, please.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, I just can't bear
the suspense.

Can... Could we...

Would it be alright
if we just did it now?

Right now? And get it over with?

Get it over with?
- Yes.

You're meant to enjoy it.

No, I know that, I'm just not very
good at waiting for things to happen.

I'm much better when they've
happened and I'm... recovering.

You make it sound like it's
an ordeal. It's not compulsory.

Shall we just sit and chat
for a bit?

Oh no, I don't want to do that.

I don't think we'd
have very much in common.

You might be surprised.
- I am very rarely surprised.

I like to plan things properly,
specifically

in order to avoid
being surprised, if I'm honest.

Fine, but I hope
I can surprise you anyway.

N... No, I don't want anything
like that.

Anything like what?

You know, anything perverted.

Oh, no, no, no.
Not that kind of surprise.

Oh good, I don't like anything
going in to places

that are designed for
things to come out.

You're talking about anal sex?

I don't like that phrase.

Nancy, I won't be doing anything
you don't want me to do.

I've never done
anything like this before.

I've never bought
anybody like this for my own...

Pleasure.
- ...use.

Nancy, listen to me. I choose to do this.
- Yes. Right.

You know, you haven't bought me,
you've bought my service.

I set a price and you agreed.

I'm not being exploited.

I can't bear the suspense.
I can't bear it.

The anticipation?
- Yes...

of disappointment.

Why do you assume
you'll be disappointed?

Because I've always been
disappointed before.

I need to... Well, actually,
I'd like to tell you something.

OK.

I've never had an orgasm.

With a partner?
- With anyone.

Or by yourself?
- No. Not even by myself.

N... Never.

That's right.

Right. I see.

It's not meant as a challenge.
- I haven't taken it as one.

Cos you won't be able to achieve it.
- Fair enough.

Your confidence is endearing,
and no doubt necessary to the job

but I feel I must warn you
it is misplaced.

Um, and I don't want
you to feel bad about it

because I won't be faking it.
I don't do that. Not anymore.

Um, I made a decision
after my husband died

never to fake an orgasm again.

When did he die?

Uh, two years ago.
It was premature.

And is this your first...

Encounter since then? Yes.
In fact, if we do this, you will...

...only be the second man I have
ever had sex with in my entire life.

There, I said it.

Well, thank you for telling me.

If you want to leave now, I'm very
happy to pay half of what we agreed.

I don't want to leave, Nancy.

Nothing is
making me want to leave.

I won't leave unless I'm clearly
instructed to

or I feel I'm
in physical danger.

Has that ever happened?
- Yeah. A couple of times.

With a woman?
- Yeah. Once with a woman.

Well, her husband, he thought...
He wanted a threesome.

But it turned out he didn't.

Did she?
- No...

but she did want to meet
one-on-one a week later.

And did you do that?
- Sure.

Wasn't that dishonest?
- Of her?

Of you.

Why? I mean, I'm not the married
one. I'm just doing my job.

Wow.

It's all quite an education.

I hope it continues.

You're being saucy.

"Saucy"? My grandmother
used to say the word "saucy".

I'd rather not think about
your grandmother right now

if you don't mind.

No problem.
- I just... Anyway...

I just wanted to let you know
about the orgasm thing.

I'm not expecting one, so um,
you can relax.

I am relaxed.

This was a terrible idea.

Do you feel you're somehow
betraying your husband?

His memory, I mean.

What? Oh no, no, no, no, no.

No, it's nothing like that.
- Then what?

It's just not very "me", I'm a
teacher... Well, I was a teacher

I... I used to set my pupils essays on
the moral issues surrounding sex work

and here I am... participating in it.
- Nancy.

You're probably a very vulnerable
young man, maybe you're an orphan.

I'm not an orphan.

Yeah, or perhaps you grew up in
care, you've got very low self-esteem.

I didn't grow up in care.

You could've been trafficked
against your will, you can't tell

just by looking at somebody.
- I wasn't trafficked against my will.

Well, then I simply don't understand it.
- You don't understand what?

Why you're doing this.

Oh. Oh, well, if
you really want to know

I'm... I'm using the money I make
doing this to save up for college.

Oh.

Oh, how wonderful.
Are you really?

No.

Oh.

Nancy, you need to stop worrying
about me...

...let's move this
back to you.

OK. Oh, God.
- Now, Nancy...

This is crazy, it's terrible, it's wrong.
- Nancy.

My son... My son
would be appalled.

Nancy.
- Yes.

Let's go to bed.
- OK.

OK?

OK.
- Good.

Come here.
- Mm-hmm.

Is this OK?

OK?
- Mm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm.

Listen, er, if you, um,
need to take anything

that's fine by me.

I'm fine, Nancy.

I mean legal things, you know,
to help...

with it all down there.
- No, I assure you, it all works.

I know, I mean, I just...

No, I know what you mean, but
I don't need any little blue pills.

Never?
- Never.

But what if you
don't fancy the person?

I mean, you can't force
yourself, surely, if you don't.

There's always
something to fancy.

No, there isn't.
- There is.

Oh.

What's the oldest person
you've ever done it with?

That's a bit reductive, Nancy.

"Reductive", that's a good word.
I like it.

Yes, it is a good word.

I'm glad you like it.
I chose it just for you.

But seriously

actually I really do
want to know, how old?

Eighty-two.
- Eighty-two?

Yes.
- Eighty-two!

Yeah.
- Eighty-two.

Nancy.

OK, I'm feeling a bit better now.
- OK.

Um...

So, what's the
little thing about me

that you can hold onto
with all your might?

To make you come alive
in the moment?

Come here.

I like your mouth.

I like the line of your neck,
down to about here.

And this...

it's so elegant.

Um, just... hang on a second.

I'll just, um... I'll just go
to the bathroom and change.

OK, but don't change too much.

Oh, God.

Ta-dah.

Ooh!

You look great.

Oh, um, everything OK?

Yes, it's just, I don't like
Mars bars. I can smell it.

It's a bit off-putting.

Oh, sorry, sorry.
I'll go and clean my teeth.

Would you mind? Thank you.

What's this?

Very nice.
- I've changed my mind again.

I don't want to do it. I'm
sorry to have wasted your time.

You... I'll still pay.

But you can get dressed and go.

This isn't about
the Mars bar, is it?

No, it's not about the Mars bar.

Do you not find me attractive?

Don't be ridiculous.

You're clearly...

aesthetically perfect,
and apparently nice enough.

What did you picture happening,
I mean...

why did you book me
if you don't want to do it?

I don't know at this point.
A moment of madness, that's all.

That's all.

Do you regularly have moments
of madness like this?

No.

Do you usually
make rational decisions?

Yes.

Then why would
this be any different?

I mean, you must
have had a reason.

Something that made you do it. I bet
you thought about it for days before.

Weeks... Well,
months. Years, perhaps.

Well, then it's
not a moment of madness.

This is what you want, Nancy.

And now that you have it,
why won't you take it?

Why won't you take what you want
when it's right here, within reach.

Oh, I don't know.
It feels controversial suddenly.

I don't find it controversial.

To want something
like this. Even to want it.

If it's just sex you want

aren't there a dozen men around
who'd love to hook up with you?

If it's all too much...
I mean, surely they want to.

Oh, yeah... Yes, they do, um...

Yes, they made that very clear
actually since Robert died

but um, it's
me, I don't want to.

Why not?

They're all old.

Old men. I don't want an
old man. I want a young one.

A young body. And no of fence, I
have to pay for that, of course I do.

Well, I'm here,
and I'm not offended.

Actually, why
are you still here?

I've just offered to pay you to spend
an evening doing whatever you please.

Why are you still here?

I'm interested.
- In what?

In you.
- Oh, for Heaven's sakes

no need to patronise me.
- I'm not.

You're conflicted.

Conflicted is interesting.

You've never met a woman who can't make
up her mind before? I don't believe that.

I've met women who can't decide
which sandwich to have for lunch

but if we've ended up in a bedroom
together, they usually know what they want

at that point.

Well, young women are different.

Yes, I think they are.

Different to how we were...
well, how I was when I was young.

I wasn't actually
a social renegade, anyway.

A couple of my friends were,
but we lost touch after school.

But London was a
different country back then.

The rest of us were stuck
in the 1950s, it was repressive.

Sorry.

And I wasn't brimming

with sexual confidence
like they all are now

with their thigh-split dresses
and salsa classes and whatnot.

I mean, people do pole dancing
for a hobby.

I've read about it,
I read an article about it.

I mean, a hobby?

Wh... I...

Christ, I sound so old.

I know I sound old, but
Leo, did you ever meet anyone

who does pole
dancing for a hobby?

I think that's
mainly for posh girls.

Yes, you're probably right.

I mean, I know pole dancers
but they wouldn't pay to do it.

That's just some fucked up
economics, do you know what I mean?

Not really, but I mean,
I can imagine.

It's not a world
I know much about.

Says the woman who booked a
hotel and a sex worker for the night.

Oh, God. Oh, oh, you're right.

Oh, God, I'm just
a seedy old pervert.

Just go. It's disgusting. I feel
like Rolf Harris all of a sudden.

Rolf Harris?

Never mind.

Come on, let's get in the bed.

Let's get under the covers.

Why do they
make these things like...

getting into a straight-jacket?

It's ridiculous.

What do you really want to do
with your life?

I'd like to see, er,
Venus before I die.

OK.

I'm just curious about
what it's like for you.

You're clearly very bright.

What makes you say that?

Well, I'm a teacher, and I know

there are some people who use
the word "empirically"

in a conversation, and
there are very many who don't.

And the clever ones are
those that do.

Did I use it?

Yes. Nigel la. "Empirically
sexy". And "reductive".

Oh, yes, you're right. So I did.

So, what, you don't think this is
a job for clever people, is that it?

No! No, no,
I didn't mean that. No.

No, I was just asking about
qualifications and...

Did you go to school?

Of course. I mean, my mother was
a very strict Irish Catholic.

And what does she think about
what you're doing now?

You want to talk
about my mother? Really?

Well, you brought her up.
- Well now I'm dropping it.

But seriously...

She doesn't know.

You know, this
looks so sexy on you.

What does she think you do?

If I tell you, can we drop it?

Because you really
do look good in this.

I promise.

She thinks I work on an oil rig.

An oil rig?

Yes, an oil rig.
In the North Sea.

No, but... But do...

Do you keep in contact?
Do you send her updates

about life on the oil rig?
- Now, Nancy, you promised.

But how do you know what happens
on an oil rig?

I Google it, you know.

I found a website where there's
stories about life on an oil rig

and I copy and
paste them sometimes.

Ha. That's amazing. What a life.

Oh, dear. Meanwhile, my son's
doing his Masters at university.

Are you not happy about that?

Oh, yes, no, I am,
of course I'm happy.

It's great.

Why wouldn't I be happy?
It's just what's expected.

Why do you sound
so ambivalent about it?

"Ambivalent", that's another good word.
- Mm-hmm.

So... your son?

Yes, well, I...
I... I... Oh dear.

I've never said this to
anyone before, this is awful.

It's OK, who am I going to tell?

Come on.

I... well, the truth is
I find him boring.

You find your own son boring?

Yes. That's awful, isn't it?

I've just never heard anyone
say that before.

Have you always
found him boring?

No, not always.
No, he's a very nice boy.

He's just very predictable,
like his father.

What's he studying?

Chemistry. Please
forget I said that.

Just forget it, he's a lovely
boy and I love him very much

and I should be grateful because
he's turned out very well.

Any other kids?

Mm. Daughter. Older.
We don't get along.

Oh, why not?

She thinks I'm cold.

And what do you think?

I don't think I'm cold.

I mean, I don't feel cold inside

but maybe I'm cold with her because
she's so over the top all the time.

So the opposite to her brother.

She lives in Barcelona,
in this bohemian set-up.

They're all artists, although
I've never seen any actual art.

Unless the art consists of burning
your parents' money, which...

Actually, it's not
out of the question.

At least she's not boring.

No, no, there is
that. There is that.

So your children have
disappointed you, Nancy.

Yes. But when did
you last see your mum?

Why?

Cos I'm interested in
where you come from.

I don't come from anywhere.

You know, I was actually found
under a little patch of mushrooms

size of a bean,
raised by friendly wolves.

Oh, go on. Tell me something.

I'm in awe of
anyone who becomes a mother.

Hardest job in the world.

Did you get that off Mumsnet
or something?

Sorry?

It's a bit general.
Not all mothers are good.

Well, I wouldn't know.
I've only had one.

Yeah, we're all stuck with
whatever we get, aren't we?

Parents and children alike.

At least I know what mine
are up to, though.

Haven't you ever wondered if
your son is lying to you about his life?

No.
- Why not?

Maybe he doesn't
want to disappoint you.

Has he got a partner?

Yes. Nice girl, also boring.

Training to be a primary school
teacher. Boring, boring, boring.

I thought you said you were
a schoolteacher?

Yeah, but I was
a Religious Education teacher

in a secondary school. That's
a very different beast to...

colouring in with six-year-olds.

They say primary education
is the most important.

Well, they're wrong.

Do you know what proportion of
secondary school students think

that Religious Education is worth even
an ounce of their time and attention?

I mean, I...
- No, well, exactly.

Exactly. So there I would be,
year after year

spouting the same old stuff, unable
to break away from the curriculum

in case I got complaints from
the head and unable to ask them

anything real
in case we lost time

and just
battling through the work

and getting
them through the exams

and then you just start again
the following year

doing the same old stuff.
It was just stultifying.

I think I may
have killed the mood.

I'm not sure there was a mood.

I'm sorry, that was rude of me.
- No, it's true.

No, but you're not paying
for the truth, though.

You're paying for a fantasy.

At this moment, I'm not
sure what I'm paying for.

I can show you.

I don't doubt it.

What would get
you back in the mood?

Hmm?

What would your husband do
to get it all going again?

Um...

Well...

He... He would, er...

take all his clothes off,
and lie in the bed

without putting his pyjamas on.

And I would take
all my clothes off

put my nightie on

and lie in the bed next to him

and then he would rub my
shoulders and breasts a bit

and then he would climb on top,
do the business

kiss my cheek, roll off,
put his pyjamas on

and go back to sleep.

That's it?
- That's it.

Always?
- Always.

No deviation for 31 years.

And that's the
only sex you've ever had?

Correct.

Wow.

"Wow" indeed.

No oral?

No oral.
- Not even on him?

No, he said it was demeaning.

For you?
- For him.

OK...

OK, and I presume it was
the same for him on you?

Yes, he said that was demeaning
for him too.

So, you've never had...

No, I've never had.

Never given.

Do you want to?

Yes, I do. I want to.

I want to very much.

I always have done.

Sorry.

I'm sorry to cry.

It's stupid.

I, um...

I think that...

Well, when I was a... a teenager

my parents took me
to Greece on holiday

um, it was a once-in-a-lifetime
trip, for them, anyway, and...

um...

at the hotel there was this
waiter, I think he was about 20

and he looked at me like I was...
the most delicious thing he'd ever seen

and I felt my body go to water.

And one night, he was
hanging around after his shift

and um, I was hot

so I went out into the garden
after my parents had gone to bed

and he was there,
smoking a cigarette

and, um... I stood

in front of this little bush
covered in tiny pink flowers

looking out to sea...

and without a
word, he came up and...

...kissed my neck

and put his hand under my skirt
and into my knickers

and I could feel him
sliding around down there

and I was pushing
myself back into him

and it was the most crazy,
exciting feeling I'd ever had

and... and, um,
then a car started up

and the headlamps came on

and he was startled
so he dashed away.

And the next day we went home.

And I wished we'd just stayed
one more day.

Hello.
- Hello again.

Thank you.

This is a very nice surprise.

Is it?

It's the same room.
I mean, I booked the same room

cos I didn't want to
be thrown by a new layout.

Oh, no, I mean
you booking me again.

Oh.
- I mean, you must've been satisfied

the last time, so
I'm happy about that.

Yes, yes, I was satisfied. Yes.

But?

But?

Oh, it sounded like there was
going to be a "but".

No, no, not particularly.

I, um, I've got a little bit
of feedback

and a couple of attainment goals
for this time.

Right, I see. Sure. OK.

Would you like a drink?
- Yeah.

That sounds great.

Cheers.

So, I've made a list of things
that I'd like to get through.

Oh, that sounds sexy.

Don't mock me. I'm a teacher.

Old habits die hard.

What's first on the list?

Number one:

I perform oral sex on you.

Number two: you
perform oral sex on me.

Number three: we do a "69"

if that's what
it's still called.

Uh, I don't know.

Um, four: me on top.
- Doggy-style.

Well, that all
sounds very achievable.

Oh, does it? Oh, good.

Good, cos I'm...
I have no frame of reference.

I've tried, um, looking on the
internet, but it's alarming, frankly.

I mean, if you type
in "classy porn" to Google

up pop 12 windows of erections.

I mean, there's no build-up at
all. Have I booked enough time?

You want to do it all today?

Yes, if possible.

I mean, it's just,
you're quite expensive

and I'm not sure if I'll be able to
afford another session after this.

OK.

OK.

I understand, um...

Isn't there something else
that should be on that list?

Like what?

Well, I'd love for you to feel
completely satisfied...

if at all possible.

Oh.

Oh.

The big "o", in fact.

Yes.

No, I like a list that can be
fully ticked-off.

Achievable goals.
That's the path to happiness,

there's no point in wishing for
the moon.

Well, it's an orgasm, you know,
it's not a Fabergé egg.

People have them every day.

Right. Do you know what, you're
right. That all makes sense.

I just... I want to feel
a sense of achievement.

Yes.
- I don't want to walk away...

from this feeling unresolved.

May I?

Do you know what?

We'll do as much of this
as we can today.

I think we'll certainly make
a significant dent in it.

Good.

That's good. Good.

You want to
start with the blow job?

Yes, I think so.

Get the big one
out the way first.

Should I kneel?

Well, I could stand on a chair,
but that's not how it's usually done.

Mm-hmm.

You don't have
to do any of this.

No, I know, I... but I want
to be a woman of the world.

I mean, there are nuns out there
with more sexual experience than me.

It's embarrassing. Do
you want me to brush my teeth?

What? No. Nancy, you can just...
you can just let go.

Let go? What am
I letting go of, exactly?

I mean, we need some
sort of plan, don't we?

I don't want to swing from the
chandeliers and make loud animal noises.

I'd like to see that.

You're letting go of the
thing inside that grips you.

You know, that judges you.

That watches
you from the outside.

Christ, if I let go of that,
anything might happen.

That's the only thing keeping
my life together.

Keeping it
ticking along... Here?

Over here.

What am I just supposed to do?

Just float around like
some sort of free form jellyfish

you know, waiting for something
to come up?

No, but you're...
- Do I undo your belt?

Do you undo it?
What's normal?

Well, it's more a matter of...
- Well, I'll do it.

OK.

No, I just... I just want
to do a blow job.

I want to get that sorted and then we
can work through as much of the rest

of the list as we can in the allotted time.
- Like we've got a double lesson

timetabled for oral, and then we
can see what's left of the afternoon?

Exactly.
- And shall I ring a bell

at the end of the session?

Do you use a bell?
You didn't last time.

Oh.

Very funny.

Um...

Oh...

Sorry.

I'll be back to all this
in just a second.

Hi, darling. Hi.

Sorry about that.
- Everything OK?

Yes. My daughter. She's just in a bit
of a pickle at the moment, shall we say.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Well, it's not the first time,
won't be the last.

She used to ring her father
about all this, but anyway...

Um, shall we just try
and get through what we can?

Before the exam?
- Um, yes.

Nancy.

There is no exam.
It's all a dance.

I don't know the steps.

An improvised dance,
we just go where it takes us.

There's no timetable,
there's no bell.

But I've only
paid for two hours.

Well, then let's enjoy them.
Every single minute.

OK, come on then.

Do you want to start with the blow job
or go with something else on the list?

No, I think I'd like
to go in order.

I feel like I'm prepared
for the blow job now.

Robert, my husband, he never...
he never wanted to try anything new.

He planned everything, I mean,
even his own funeral, actually.

I was terrified
he'd turn up on the day

and tell me I'd put the
wrong ham in the sandwiches.

It wasn't a...

furnace of
passion that burnt out

our relationship,
it was more like, um...

the bottom drawer of an AGA.

A what?

Um, it's an old-fashioned stove.

You can't turn it off.

It keeps on chugging away,
and at the bottom

there's a kind of
cooler drawer thing

that you can push things
to the back of...

Mm.
- ...you know, to cook them slowly

like a bowl of stewed apples
or something.

I see.
- Do you?

Er, not really.

But, um, I think you mean
your marriage stewed slowly

because you
pushed it to the back.

And then forgot about it.

Mm.
- Mm.

Well, anyway.
He's gone, it's all gone.

Ancient history.

And I want to try something new.

Then, good.

So, I need to get that blow job
under my belt.

Your belt, obviously.

OK.

OK?

OK, OK, look.

I have an idea.

You like dancing, right?

Only when nobody's watching.

OK, well then we're gonna
change the mood.

I'm gonna put on some music

and you're gonna dance
like nobody is watching.

Come on, Nancy Stokes.

Come have a dance with me.

Oh, shit.

Oh, God, God.

That'll be my daughter again.

She always rings twice.

She always forgets the most crucial
bit of information and has to ring back.

OK.
- I don't want to answer it.

Then don't.
- But I always answer it.

Even when you don't want to?

Yeah, especially when I don't want to.
- OK.

Well, what am I gonna say?

"Hello darling, I'm sorry I can't talk
now cos I've booked this man for the night

and I'm trying to work up the
courage to perform oral sex on him".

Well, you don't
have to say that.

Shall I answer it?

"Hello, darling.

I'm sorry but your mother has
something in her mouth right now."

Shh!
- "I could take your message

if you would like."

Listen, darling, I...

Yes. Oh, did he? Oh, God. Yes.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Oh, I am so sorry,
yes, I do understand.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Listen, darling, I really do...

Pamela?

Pamela?

Oh, she's gone.

Just like that? No goodbye?

Well, either her battery ran out
or she's been abducted.

Is it serious? Her pickle?

Well, it can be sorted,
that's the main thing.

I see.

Matthew will provide the
grandchildren, I've no doubt of that.

If Pamela can just keep
herself alive, I'll be happy.

You don't sound very happy.

Well, it's very stressful being
a parent, Leo.

It's a stress
that never leaves you

it's... it's like
a thumb on a bruise.

Sometimes my children feel like
a dead weight around my neck.

I'm not sure I'd have done it
if I'd known.

What do you mean?

I mean, I could've done many
other things, if I hadn't been a mother.

What else would you have done?
- I dunno.

Crossed the desert on a horse...

started an artists' colony
on a hot little island...

had a... had an orgasm...

Would you find a massage
patronising at this point?

No. No, I wouldn't.

Do you think your
kids could feel it?

Your disappointment in them?

I don't know Leo. I doubt it.

They mostly
didn't notice me, I think.

I mean, do you notice
when your mother's disappointed?

Are you worried that she'd be
disappointed if she knew what you do?

I'm not sure what you mean.

There's nothing disappointing
about an oil rig, ma'am.

Anyway, there's
still time for you.

Oh, that's
sweet, but there isn't.

This is it.

My final attempt at a life.

For the orgasm, I mean.

You might have to abandon riding
a horse across the desert.

Can I ask you to
do something for me?

Mm-hmm.

Would you mind
taking your shirt off?

Sure. OK.

Can I touch you, for a moment?

You're just so...

I never thought I...

Can I touch your shoulders?

Yes.

And your arms?

Yes.

And your chest?

Yes.

Oh. Put that back on then.

You want me to put it back on?

Yes, if you want to.

I thought things were
progressing quite nicely.

I was suddenly overwhelmed.

By what?

Some wave, something of...

Lust.

Maybe. Sorry, I just feel
a bit sick, actually.

Tiny bit faint.
- Put your head between your legs.

I can do that on my own time.

I'll just, just, um... maybe
step away for a moment.

Catch my breath.

Have a drink.

It's just, I, er... I've never
felt anyone like you before.

Like me?
- Yeah, muscular, fit. Like a model.

I work out.

I'm sure you do.
- I work hard.

Don't you ever feel sometimes
it's a bit shallow?

Yes. But my
clients like it, you know.

And I like being wanted by them.

When I'm here with you, being
looked at by you, I feel good.

God, I can barely imagine that.

Come here and stand with me.

I've always been ashamed
of myself. My body, I mean.

Always?
- Mm.

Always been aware of
what's wrong with it.

You know, stubby
thighs, fat tummy...

boobs come down to my naval now,
my arms wobble...

they have done
since I was 20, actually...

and if I didn't pluck here
and here

I could join a
circus after a month.

Oh, I've plucked it.
- Mm.

Don't be fooled
by the muscles, Nancy.

I sometimes feel ashamed too.

That's hard to imagine.

Well, if I didn't look like this

you might not have chosen me,
or wanted me.

Can I unbutton this?

Yes.

Can I take this off?
- Mm-hmm.

Your body is beautiful.

I wish you could see that.

I have always
quite liked my calves.

They're not completely awful.

I can hear my mother...

"Vanity is a weakness, dear."

It's not vain
to enjoy your body.

To love it.

But I know that voice in your
head, the one that talks shit at you.

I have one too.

It gets tiring...

so boring.

Oh, I'm sorry to bore you.

You're not...
You're not boring me, Nancy.

Hm... Is Leo Grande
your real name?

No.

Is Nancy Stokes your real name?

No.

Do you know, sometimes I wonder

whether what you young men need
is a war.

Excuse me?

Well, you're all
just so fit and...

bursting with energy and killing
pretend soldiers on your computers

but actually, underneath it all,
you're really quite anxious

and not quite
sure of yourselves.

Perhaps that's what
every generation needs.

A war. It's self-correcting.
It makes us all nicer.

My generation of men, they never
had a chance to prove themselves.

I mean, I think they felt actually
inadequate in front of their fathers.

And I think it's caused
a whole lot of bother

and I'm worried your
lot are gonna be even worse.

My brother's in the army.

Is he? Oh, sorry.
I didn't mean to imply...

Is he older or younger?

He's younger. He's 24.

Huh. Which bit of the army?

Artillery.

Mm, oh, the big guns.

Yeah, well,
might