Gold Digger (2016) - full transcript

Summer's gone. And so are
guys with socks in sandals.

You can keep your skin
looking sun-kissed -

with this bronzer I found
at Showroom Riot.

It's HORRIBLE...

It's lovely,
and it's made by Lumience.

Check out these bamboo sweaters!

The last couple of weeks
have been crazy busy, -

so it was lovely to see
my fellow bloggers -

over a glass (or five)
of champagne.

Next, a run and
a super healthy green smoothie.

"Make one person happy every day -
start with yourself."



- You're beautiful!
- Thanks! Kisses.

Bamboo sweaters are expensive!

Where can I find a millionaire?

Forget about millionaires.

Your money, your decisions.

It's time to take a trip when
you look like your passport photo.

- Booty call!
- No thanks.

- I hope your children die!
- Say hi to your family!

- Did you fall off
your diet? - I sure did.

GOLD DIGGER

Want to try a new
interior design trend?

Just go to your parents' attic -

and use the stuff
from your childhood room.

# littlegirlsroom #band posters



# porcelaincollectibles
#pajamalessparties

Marja, we'd like a word with you.

Go ahead, sit down.

Dad and I have decided -

that you should move out
on your own.

We also have to stop paying
you a monthly allowance.

This has been going on
for eight months!

It's really hard to find
an apartment now -

because all the students
are apartment hunting.

And rents downtown are so high.

Maybe you should look for a place
in a cheaper neighborhood?

Like where?
- Here, for example.

In Raisio?

My blog will get into a new portal
next week.

I'll get more readers
and more affiliate income.

The most popular Finnish bloggers
make 10,000 euros a month.

In Sweden they're superstars.
They have people working for them.

That's the future.
Mom, I'm the future.

MARJA, why don't you apply
to dental hygienist school?

# alittlelate #thereinaminute
#ilovemondays

Fuck my ass.

I think
this just fell off the holders.

I think it'll stay here.

I don't think it will.

If you're in a hurry, why don't
you give your number to Olavi.

You can sort out
the insurance stuff over lunch.

Would that be okay?

Here you go.

What's your name?
- Pirjo.

Olavi.

Dreams have no expiration date!

What did we do wrong?
Her sister is doing so well.

Why did MARJA turn out like that?
I don't want to ask anyone over -

when we have an elephant like that
in the living room.

Good morning.

You have no money
on your travel card.

# meeting #exciting #busy

I'm a blogger.
- Nice.

You're an entrepreneur.
You're not entitled to benefits.

I'm not making enough money
to make ends meet.

This is
the employment agency's policy.

I'll give you two vouchers
for our cafeteria -

so you don't have to go hungry.

No thanks.

Look at me.
How can I be this huge again?

I'll never find a man.

My ex isn't even
paying child support.

You can't depend on a man
your whole life.

That's easy for you to say.
You're a go-getter.

My life is ruined.

I even have to smoke secretly.

Come over tonight. Let's watch
Temptation Island together.

Come. Come. We'll talk.
We'll eat chips with dip.

I don't want to nag.
I'm happy I can help you, -

especially
because Mom asked me to.

Can we agree that you're gonna
focus on this the whole time?

Yeah, yeah.

Who else would work
for you this cheap?

This is really important for me.
I haven't slept in a week.

Half of your pay will go
towards paying off your debt.

- No way.

Oh yes.

Wasn't this supposed
to be their summerhouse?

This is their summerhouse.

No fucking way.
They have their own church.

You can't post anything about my client.
- Of course not.

I could get used
to living in a mansion.

More photos in my blog.

Sorry.

Mafia Aurora.
- This is Hellu from the Blog Team.

I'm calling about
the collaboration with you.

I could come sign
the contract Monday.

Well, actually...

You know we want to invest
in the blogs -

that we take into our portal.

We just heard that Make My Day
blogger Sanna got engaged -

to jukka Laajanen,
the famous snowboarder.

She's going to blog about
the wedding project.

I also have interesting things
coming up. Trips and stuff.

She's getting married.
To a celebrity.

I'm sure you understand.
- 1 do.

That's okay. Thanks. Bye.

I guess you don't like
your family gatherings.

I have acid reflux.
- What's that?

It's a relief to be able
to hand over the lead -

to a young and, I have to admit,
handsome man.

I'm sure he'll be able to help
our company weather the storm.

This is the first time
in our company's history -

when operational management
is from outside our family.

I can say on behalf of the board
of directors that we've found -

a person who understands
the legacy of our company.

He seems to bring
much-needed energy to the table.

Antti Salakka!

Thank you.

When I started working
at your company, -

I interviewed many of you.
I picked three adjectives -

that crystallize
what the company is all about:

first-class,
traditional and scalable.

Pirjo.

You rear-ended me.
- Oh.

Olavi.

Did you get my text message?
- No.

I must have a wrong number.
- You must.

A friend fixed the bumper.

You'll get to keep your insurance bonuses.
- Good.

I wish everyone a fun day...

Olavi Reipas is one of the biggest
owners of the paper company Reipas.

Welcome to the family.
- It's an honor.

We don't want you to feel
like an outsider, -

so I've told everyone
you're the son I never had.

It's a metaphor.

Hi.
- Hi.

Hey, what are you doing?
- Oh sorry.

Are you thinking about that portal,
or what's wrong with you?

This might sound a bit strange, -

but could you call me Pirjo
while we're here?

Weren't you driving a van for
a bed company when we met?

- Yeah.

We're kind of
in the same field then -

because I'm here
just helping my sister.

I make a living
writing a lifestyle blog.

I write quite a bit about interior
design. It's called MARJA Aurora.

If your name is Pirjo, why is
your blog called MARJA Aurora?

Can you imagine a lifestyle blog
called Pirjo Aurora?

But you can call me MARJA.

Pirjo, your name is not Pirjo.

And you gave me a wrong number.

Okay.
This is really embarrassing, but...

It looks a bit strange
that you're not dancing.

Bertilla has to dance
all by herself.

My back is hurting.

- Why is it always hurting
at our gatherings?

MARJA. We were supposed
to set a dinner date, right?

Oh?
- How about next week?

It should be okay.

This is my mother, Kristiina.
- Hi.

MARJA is a blogger. A blog is
like a magazine on the Internet.

I see.

I love your mansion.
- Oh, thank you.

I've tried to explain to my mother
how new media works, -

but she believes in
things printed on fine paper.

That's so childish of you
once again.

Dinner's on me.

# olavireipas #engagement
#gorgeousring

# dreamwedding #millionfollowers
#honeymoonaroundtheworld

You're up already?
- Already? It's eight o'clock.

How about becoming a pharmacist?

A bachelor's degree
takes three years.

Pharmacists are in high demand.

Seija's daughter just graduated
and got a job right away.

You could blog
about life at a pharmacy.

Wouldn't that be interesting?
- I'm sure.

I'm sorry,
but I need to get ready -

for a really important
meeting with a collaborator.

- Right.

You have a date. With whom?
- Well...

The soccer player?
- No.

A skateboarder? I don't know any.
A snowboarder?

He tries to avoid publicity.

He's from a family you know.
- Some friggin' rich family?

It doesn't mean anything to me.

He just happens to be
really smart and nice.

- No way.

Does his family own
the chocolate company Fazer?

Or the furniture company JYSK?

Or the department store Stockmann?
Or Anttila? It's Anttila.

Promise you won't tell anyone.
- Who would I tell? Him?

So?
- Okay.

She's not my type.
- But you're going, right?

I don't know.

It's not going to cost you
anything, -

since she said it's on her.

You'll eat well and
have a bit of bubbly.

You'll take her to your place.
You'll light a couple of candles.

And when the time is right...

She got interested in me
when she realized who I am.

I don't want to take her for a ride.
- Yes, you do.

Besides,
who's taking who for a ride?

She's hot.

I'd do her.

Sorry, we're
in the middle of something here.

What's the matter?

The Ryynänen girl
is standing over there.

Who does she think she is?

Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Something came up at work.

That's okay. Nice that
you could pick me up here.

I was here to see my parents.

Are you ready here? Would
you like something to drink?

Maybe wine?

I'm paying, so I'll choose.

Why don't we take a whole bottle?

That one, please.
- Yes.

I'll have the salmon salad.

I'd like to have it
without croutons and potatoes.

I don't eat white flour.

For you?

- For starters I'll have pasta
with buffalo mozzarella.

For my main course,
I'll have crayfish.

How about an aperitif?
- Water, please.

Or how about
a glass of sparkling wine?

Can you recommend something?
- I recommend Canella Prosecco.

It comes from the Piave region,
near Venice, in northern Italy.

Yes.
- Thank you.

I'll go to the bathroom.

Excuse me. Err...

Could you come and say
you're out of Prosecco -

and just bring the wine?

I don't have money
for the Prosecco.

I also have a two-for-one coupon
for the meals.

I'd like to give it to
you now if it's okay.

- Sure.

Thank you.

I'm really sorry, but
we're out of Prosecco.

- Oh.

Maybe a glass of Ruinart
Blanc De Blancs champagne?

Is that your mother?
- No.

Unfortunately
we're also out of Ruinart.

I'm sorry, but we have
several bottles of Ruinart.

- No, we don't.

This wine is really tasty.

The bottles are right behind
the steps. An excellent choice.

I'm sorry;
this is really embarrassing.

Can we just drink this white wine?

I get an upset stomach
from champagne.

The bubbles and acids
give me heartburn and...

You have acid reflux? I do.
- Oh.

I've practically never
burped in my life.

Does your dad also work
for the family company?

- He used to.

Now he mostly plays golf.

And drinks. In Spain.
- Okay.

His ego couldn't stand
my mother's side of the family.

What do your parents do?

Well, my clad is
an electronics technician -

my mom is a practical nurse.

Honest blue-collar workers.
Respect.

How did you end up
in the bed business?

I quit business school and found
the job thru an employment agency.

How did you become a blogger?

I've studied a bit of photography
and fashion design, -

but neither of them
was enough alone.

Blogging combines
so many things I love:

photography, writing and fashion.

I perceive things visually.

I see everything
as Instagram photos.

You mean, also now?

Well, the lighting and the milieu
are quite nice.

Should we go to my place?
I live next door.

I mean...

Your family owns this building?
Seriously?

So, your family does own it.
- Yes. In a way. I mean...

I pay a maintenance fee to my grandma.
- Right.

I'm sorry it's a bit ascetic here.

I had a bad moment in the winter -

and threw a bunch of stuff
out the window.

It was stupid because
I could've hit someone, -

but on the other hand
now it's more spacious.

That's really nice.
It looks like a Banksy.

Rob gave it to me.
I mean, my uncle knows him.

He gave it to me
on my 25th birthday.

Right.

Yeah.

What are you doing?

What do you mean? I mean...
- Your hands...

This is a print.
It's signed and numbered.

Banksy makes editions of 50 prints.
This is 22/50.

Should we go to a bar or something?
- Yeah, that's a good idea.

NIGHT OF THE HOMELESS

Finnish rap music
has helped me see -

how much inequality
there is in Finland.

I've volunteered for this event
a couple of times.

I could go get us
something to drink.

You look familiar.
Seriously.

I've definitely seen you somewhere.
Where have I seen you?

Sorry, there was a line.
- Thanks.

Well, hi.

Looking good.

Is she your girlfriend?

No, we're just friends.
Otto. MARJA.

Otto.

There's a party
at Smackhead's place.

Why don't you come along?
- Okay.

Let's go. Fucking good party.

These people are okay.

What's up, faggot?
- The usual.

Are you scared of me?

Where do you know Smackhead from?

Where do I know Smackhead from?

You know Smackhead?

I-

Am.

Smackhead.

Can we go?
- Right now?

I'll go get Paper-

You're from Raisio.
You had nipple piercings.

You dated Aki the Blade
and Maka-Juana.

She dated Maka-Juana.
And Alco-Holopainen. Fuck.

MARJA!

Where you going?
- Home!

Why? - What are you doing?
Why did you take me there?

Are you testing me? Or is
this your idea of a good date?

I haven't been on a lot of dates.
- I can tell.

Can I clean that off?

I stole the last
of Smackhead's toilet paper.

He'll probably stab me.

So where do you live? You want a ride?
- No.

I'll go to a club.
There are people I know.

Oh. What club?
- Night of Fashion.

Can I come with you?

I don't think you'd like it.
- Then we'd be even.

Okay.

If they ask for an invitation,
say it's in the cloakroom.

Is it okay that you don't
introduce me with my last name?

Is it okay that I don't
introduce you at all?

- Yeah.

Hi, we have invitations.

May I see them?
- They're in the cloakroom.

We just went out to get money.
- May I see your cloakroom tag?

Okay, we don't have
the invitations with us, -

but I'll write about this
in my blog.

Next, please.

Those unstylish people
are journalists.

The rockers
are their photographers.

They're here to drink free booze.

Those big-titted ones
are celebrity bloggers -

and reality TV attention whores.
Watch out for them.

The models are over there.

They always have
some random guys around them.

Shall we go?
- Sure.

How are your negotiations going?
- Not well.

Sofia wants a huge share, -

even though she doesn't
have time for my company.

- How much?

Thirty percent.
- Unreasonable.

Outrageous.
- I'm at a dead end.

Excuse me, but are you
talking about Sofia Ketonen?

- Yes.

What are you negotiating about?

I'm starting a company -

that'll help bloggers and companies
find each other.

I think you should accept
thirty percent.

Sofia has connections
and people respect her.

Investing in a good
business partner pays off.

Brave of you to say that.
You don't know the case.

- True.

Saying no is
a typical mistake Finns make.

That's why no one gets
anywhere here.

You have to make a detailed list -

of the things Sofia will do
for her share.

You work in business?
- In a way. I know a thing or two.

What things should I include in the list?
- Everything.

The most important thing is
that you have a vision.

Hi MARJA. A borrowed dress
and fake bag again?

I can lend you money for a drink.
- Who's the guy you're here with?

He's one of the richest guys in Finland.
- Sure.

His name is Olavi Reipas.

If the name rings a bell.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

MARJA Aurora?
- Yes.

MIKA Lindberg. Hi.
- Hi.

I love your blog.
- Thanks.

We met at your magazine's
celebrity party.

I don't think I mentioned -

that we collaborate with bloggers.
- I know.

Is it true that you're here
with Olavi Reipas?

Who told you that?
- So it's true.

Err. No, I came here by myself.

We need 60,000...

What are you doing here?
- What's up?

A little fling would make your blog
more interesting.

You look nice.
- Thanks. - You like tattoos?

I'm sorry. I gotta go.
It was nice talking to you.

Please take this.
- Yes.

This is my favorite
soccer team's hoodie.

That's why I don't go out much.

Although people don't
usually recognize me.

Those girls are professional vamps.
- Crowds make me nervous.

I mean, I've lived a pretty lonely life.
- Oh.

White flour.
- What?

You said you don't eat white flour.
There's white flour in that.

Eating junk food at night
doesn't count.

We lived in the mansion
when I was little.

It was lonely because
I couldn't go to school there.

Why?
- Teachers especially bullied me.

I understand them -

because we practically
owned the village 40 years ago.

Did you have a private teacher?
- No.

I went to school
in the neighboring village.

But I couldn't invite my friends
over because I was ashamed.

I didn't want them to see my home.

What did you do then?
- Tennis ball cannon.

What?
- I had a tennis ball cannon.

I also looked at stars.

My grandpa was an amateur
astronomer. He taught me.

Our family even has a star named after us.
- No way.

You kidding me?

Proxima Reipas.
Below that bright one.

I can show it to you
with a telescope.

We could split the bill for these.

I paid for these and
the two drinks at the club.

That's 16... 32...
That's 49 all together.

You bought a bottle of sparkling.
How much was it?

- About 20.

I paid 29 euros more,
so you owe me 14.50.

Sure.

I only have ten euros.

We can straighten it out later.

Okay.

Good mor...

You should take a day off
once in a while.

Wow, she's up.

Good morning.
- Good morning.

Out of bed at two
and lunch waiting on the table.

How about cruise ship cleaning?
They're in demand.

Aino also did it. Didn't you
get free cruises and all?

- Oh yes.

MARJA doesn't need a job. She's
decided to get a rich boyfriend.

If you have trouble at work,
don't take it out on me.

What rich boyfriend?

My client complained about
you being too friendly.

I didn't do anything inappropriate.
- Pirjo.

It's not my fault that he wanted...

Some of us are trying to make
a living here. It's stressful.

You're saying I'm not trying?
- Girls...

What have you clone lately?
- What are you talking about?

MARJA owes me 2,000 euros.
- What? I owe you 600.

I have it all written down.

I wouldn't have borrowed from you
had I known...

Then you would've borrowed from Dad again.
- You've lent her money?

If you only knew how much.
- He can do what he wants with his money.

It's not his money. He's married.
- I do have my own money.

I was wondering what her plan was,
but I guess she'll use -

the wallet between her legs.
- Wallet between my legs?

What right do any of you have
to criticize my life?

I can't stand living here.

Good.

I'll take the phone to her.

MARJA's phone. This is Aino.
- This is Olavi Reipas. ls MARJA there?

No, but I can ask her to call you.
- Great.

Thanks. Bye.

Come eat now.

It's a telescope. Does it look stupid?
- No.

It's good.

Yes. Yes.

Is this good?
- Yes.

Has Mr. Reipas contacted you?
- No. But I don't care.

Can you take a couple more
with these?

Besides, he's a freak.

If a guy makes millions, -

he can poop in mouth
for all I care. Message him.

I don't want to seem too eager.

I don't even know
why I went out with him.

We have nothing in common.

Sure, he's rich,
but that's not enough.

Want to check these out?

I've been thinking
about writing a blog too.

A lot of single mothers have blogs.

Isn't it stupid that he can't send
a message saying, -

"I had a good time, but let's
not see each other again."

Olavi's phone. This is Kristiina.

Hi, this is MARJA. Is Olavi there?
- just a moment.

Olavi.

The waitress is calling you.

He doesn't feel like
talking to you.

There are other active people
in his circle of interest.

Yeah?

I just want to make sure
of one thing.

Can you pay me back in time?

Mom is organizing
my 60th birthday party, -

and it costs money.
It's really important to her.

Yep.

You owe our collection agency
3,572 euros.

It would be in your best interest
to pay it off.

Otherwise we'll have
to enforce your debt, -

and you'll end up
with a bad credit record.

I already have an enforced debt
of 15,000 euros.

I'll give you
till the end of the month -

to come up with a payment plan.

Hi.
- Hi.

We just decided
we're gonna take a trip to Berlin.

Ida found cheap flights.
- 100 euros.

My dad's place in Kreutz
is available.

When are you going?
- October 16th - 19th.

We'll have plenty of time
to shop and go out.

Shoot. It would be lovely,
but I can't make it.

But you go ahead.
That's a good offer.

This time we'll definitely
get into Berghain.

I bought this red dress last week,
and I was thinking...

You can go. just this once.

Hi, it's Olavi.

I wanted to ask you
if you don't want to see me -

because you never called back.

What?
No one told me you called.

I called you,
and your mother answered.

She said
you didn't want to talk to me.

Hi, it's MARJA Aurora.

I gave you an interview
about my blog this morning.

Something happened, -

and I'd like to pull
out of the interview.

What do you mean I can't?

Hi.
- Hi.

I want to apologize for my sister.
She's not really like that.

She's going
through a difficult time.

I want to apologize for my mother.
She really is like that.

There's more than half left.

We all have smartphones
in our pockets.

The resolution is as good as
in any printed product.

Isn't it obvious that fine paper
doesn't have a future?

I would think so.

It's a matter of honor
for my family.

Our factories make
the finest paper in the world.

100 years of product development,
Finnish pulp, blah-blah-blah...

What do you think you should make?
- Shit paper.

People will always need it.

It's used more and more.
People eat more; they poop more.

Why don't you tell them that?

The last time I did, I ended up
quitting business school-

and stopped talking to my mom
for six months.

I decided that it's best
that I stay away -

from that mammoth of a company.

What do you want to do?
- Something that matters.

The world is fucked. I want
to at least try to do something.

What's fucked?
- Everything.

Syria, Ukraine, Palestine.
Climate change.

We're running out of oil,
clean water, phosphorus, -

southern bluefin tunas.
We already ran out of Javan tigers.

Don't you follow the news?
- No.

I don't think they give
a realistic picture of the world.

The news doesn't give
a realistic picture of the world?

That's right. I'm not saying
there are no problems, -

but the news only focuses on the scandals.
- Okay.

Excuse me,
but is something burning here?

I'm accommodating
some Thai berry pickers.

They're in a legal battle
over unpaid salaries.

I'm actually so broke
that I live with my parents.

I have no income at the moment.

Is that why you're here?

Or am I here because
you're trying to grope me again?

Taxi. Esa.

Esa.

This is where I live.

Oh hi. This is Olavi.
We'll go to my room.

Hi. Olavi Reipas. Nice to meet you.

Kirsti Ryynänen, Marja's mom.

Esa, clad.

Are you hungry? You want tea or something?
- No.

No thanks. We just ate.
- We'll go to my room.

You sure you've listed everything?

Yeah.

- You have to know the
exact amount of your debt.

Including debts to private persons.
- Oh.

I owe 600 to my sister.
- Okay. List that as well.

Put it there.

And 850 to my dad. It's urgent.

Okay, put it here in red.

In red.

You sure this is everything?
- Yes.

Now you can calculate how much
you need to make a month -

so that you could pay off your debt
in, let's say, five years.

That looks doable.
- The interest isn't included yet.

The annual interest rate of
this quickie loan is really high.

I took it
in an emergency situation.

My suitcase broke
right before a trip to Istanbul.

You should pay these two off first.
The interest rate is ridiculous.

You could apply for a loan that
you could use to pay these off.

The interest rate would be lower.
- I can't get a loan anywhere.

Some of my debts
are being enforced.

There's this organization
called The Guarantee Foundation.

They could guarantee you
a restructuring loan.

You're very organized.

I was taught how to be
organized with money.

I had to vacuum the house
and mow the lawn for my allowance.

You can imagine
that the lawn was pretty big...

I mean...

You want me to massage it?
- I don't know.

Working at the warehouse isn't for me.
- Turn.

Everything's okay. I'm good at massaging.
- Yeah.

Does this hurt? Right. Exactly.

That's the spot.
- Everything's okay. Try to relax.

What are you looking for?
- My underwear.

Are they up there?

Wow. For the first time in a year
my back doesn't hurt.

My tension's been totally released.
- I noticed.

Err... I have to warn you
about something.

I wonder if my bed is bad
for my back.

What kind of a mattress
do you have?

I did something potentially stupid.

Well?

Well...

When I...

Can I call you during lunch?

My boss is strict with
coming to work on time.

- Okay.

He got pussy.
- Oh yeah?

BLOG BLONDIE OPENS UP -

ABOUT HER RELATIONSHIP
TO AN HEIR TO MILLIONS

It's not that bad.

"Blog Blondie."
What could be worse?

Not being in a magazine at all.

I doubt he reads
celebrity gossip magazines.

He said most of his friends
don't know that he's an heir.

Should I take a couple of
shots with clothes on?

- No.

I haven't eaten
in a hundred years.

Why should I hide the way I look
when I look this good?

Shoot.

I was at the Family Firms
Association meeting.

Want leftover cake?
- Come in. I was just exercising.

You've started exercising?

Want coffee?
- Sure, why not.

Is everything alright?
- Yeah. Why?

Just asking.

Everything alright with you?
- Yeah.

I bought you a little gift.

I had to because
the price was so good.

Shall I open it?
- Sure.

I thought this would look
good next to your telescope.

- Thanks.

You want to go
someplace fancier this time?

Anything goes.
- We could go out on our sail boat.

There's a restaurant run by
a Michelin chef on an island here.

Want to go there now?
- Yeah.

It's not a place to be seen, though.
- It doesn't matter.

I didn't bring sailing clothes,
though.

Want me to buy you Gore-Tex sailing gear?
- No, that's okay.

Or do you want to take
a helicopter there?

You could take photos
for your Instagram account.

You read the interview?
- My mom gave it to me.

I'm really, really sorry.

I didn't give permission
to publish it.

At the time I thought
you didn't want to see me.

I read your blog again.

I don't know how you can have
so many readers -

when there's no real content.

You just desperately advertise
shit people give you.

You copy everything
from popular bloggers.

That lipstick makes your lips
look frozen.

I tried to tell you...

How can someone's life revolve
around something so meaningless?

"What's the hottest
Instagram filter?"

You're like little kids.
"Notice me! Praise me!"

"Link my maca fucka smoothie recipe
on your blog."

"Me in Bali. Me in Chanel.
Me, me, me."

And then you're hoping
I'd pay all that shit for you.

You're mean.

Stop.

This is
the girl power you talked about?

You fuck a millionaire
and sell the story?

Any clever aphorisms for this?

SLUT!!

Ran out of money
and had to come up with something?

Attention whore.

Why the fuck
are you deleting the comments?

Guess what?
- What?

Guess.
- I got nothing.

Have you read my Time of My Life blog?
- I haven't had time yet

I've gotten tons of readers
in a very short time, -

and today The Blog Team
called and said they want me.

- Okay.

Congratulations.
- Can you imagine?

Okay. Wow.

Soon I can pay you
for photographing me.

Dear readers, this is MARJA Aurora.

This is my first
and also my last vlog -

because I've decided
to quit my blog.

I haven't been able to make
enough profit with this, -

so the rumors on online forums
about my bad credit rating -

aren't completely unfounded.

I actually have
a fuck of a lot of debt.

You've seen
hundreds of clothes on me, -

but this is what my lifestyle
really looks like.

Those are all the clothes I own.
Those are my shoes.

Most of the clothes I shot
I took back to the store.

I want to thank you
for all these years.

"When one door closes,
another opens."

Arrivederci.

P.S. The Lumience bronzer
I advertised in my blog is shit.

Courage, sister!
Every cloud has a silver lining.

Thanks!
I'm happy to know I'm not alone.

you
forget you're hungry when you fuck.

Thanks for being so honest.

A hug! I also have quickie loans.

Fucking huge debt!
Quit shopping!

You're my idol. You're so brave.

Ta-dah.
We're not in downtown Turku -

because at 28,
I was forced to move back in -

with my parents who live in Raisio.
That's my mom.

And that's my clad.
- Hi.

I love my dad.
I owe him almost a thousand euros.

I owe that guy a hundred.

The Guarantee Foundation can
guarantee you a restructuring loan.

Hi.
- Can I film here? - Sure.

The idea is that you'd have only
one loan that you need to pay off-

with reasonable interest.

I'm sure you didn't
understand anything, -

so please visit their website.

How about we bloggers
arrange a flea market?

I know many of my followers
are also bloggers.

We all have stuff to sell.

All my blogger friends are going
to take bags full of clothes there.

Did you come up with this idea?
- My friend MARJA did.

I want to write about everything.
About life, fashion, beauty.

I've wanted new hair chalk for
a long time, but they're expensive.

Kiddie sidewalk chalk
works just as well.

I have my friend Pikkis
to thank for for this tip.

Check out her popular blog
Time of My Life.

Here's the link. Bada bing.

Today I'll show you
how to fare dodge -

if you have no money
on your travel card.

The chances of winning
the lottery is 1:15 million, -

so it's possible.

This is the mall I used to go to
as a kid.

Champagne is expensive.

You'll find good, cheap bubbly
on the shelf below.

Worm fishing is therapeutic.

Riding your bike is cheaper than
going to the gym and taking taxis.

Today we'll meet an entrepreneur
and food guru -

and get to know
the wonderful world of gastronomy.

That's my sister Aino.
She can be tense -

because she runs
a first-class catering company.

Here's a link to her website.

I have work for you.

I've helped her before
when I needed money.

Sorry, but you pay
such a lousy salary.

Too bad you can't make it.

It's the 20th anniversary of
the Family Firms Association.

Dear family firm owners.

On behalf of our association,
I have the pleasure of welcoming -

our guest of honor,
our former chairwoman, -

now minister of transport
and communications, -

and our good friend.

Welcome, Anne Berner.

Thank you for the invitation,
Kristiina.

It's a great honor to be here
to celebrate the anniversary.

Excuse me, but is there any champagne left?
- Yes.

I know this isn't acceptable...
- Hi.

I'll pay a hundred a bottle.
- Okay.

How many do you want?
- All, if possible.

You want to join us?
We're going on my boat.

I have to return the tableware,
but you can go.

No thank you.
- Go ahead. Seriously.

It would do you good.
I'll finish up here.

How's the company?
- It's a sinking ship. Oh yeah?

The family hangs onto fine paper
like a baby to its mother's tit.

Old money.

They're selling the company
to some Australians -

for a ridiculously low price.
- I see.

Can I get this in another color?
- Yes, we have twelve...

I thought about
what you said about blogging.

I think you were wrong
about many things.

First, blogging about things
that I find interesting -

doesn't mean they're my whole life.

Second, my most popular vlog...
I vlog these days. - I've noticed.

Oh. Well, the video has
over 300,000 views.

I have total control over
what I post. That's power.

I think the world is mostly
a beautiful, or at least fun place.

Sharing that observation
can't be useless.

And fifth, it does matter
which Instagram filter you use.

You've made progress in that.
- Well, you haven't in your career.

And that's why I'm here.
- Okay.

Isn't it ridiculous that you're
one of the main owners -

of a company whose revenue
drops 300 million every year -

and you're selling
beds and couches?

I think you're escaping.

If you have the gift of singing,
it's a sin not to sing.

Is that from your blog?
- Yes.

And sixth, when it comes to that
shitty gossip magazine article, -

I never meant for it to come out.
In case you haven't noticed, -

I never wrote a word
about you in my blog.

Bye then.

Olavi.
- It'll only take a minute.

No.

The Black Square by Malevich.

Kazimir Malevich
presented this painting -

in the Last Futurist
Exhibition of Paintings in 1915.

He hung the work
in the corner of the room -

which in Russian Orthodox homes
is reserved for an icon.

This work has such
a strong impact on art -

that it's considered
an icon of the 20th century.

Malevich foresaw this and
couldn't eat or sleep for a week.

This is Instagram, the world's most
popular picture sharing platform.

There are over 30 billion photos.

Over 70 million new photos
every day.

You see what they have in common?

Olavi, this is not
the right moment...

In order to stand out
in a highly competitive market -

we have to brand
our product carefully.

SOME MONTHS LATER

Angels know how to fly because
they take themselves lightly.

Why did you buy aphorism toilet paper?
- I haven't bought anything.

Yes, you have.
It must be super expensive.

It's our money.
- I thought you bought it.

It was in front of our door.

Besides, you just used
our joint money -

to buy a 60-euro lemon squeezer.
- It's a classic.

I thought
you bought the toilet paper.

It's trendy.
I've seen it in a couple of blogs.

What's going on?
Your company makes toilet paper -

with aphorisms
stolen from my blog.

You didn't write the aphorisms.
- But they're from my blog

I'm now head of product
development at our company.

Oh, you're working there.

I brought you the package of
toilet paper, but you weren't home.

Technically I wouldn't have to,
but I'll give you one cent a pack.

The English version is a success.

Alexa Chung wipes with it.
- No, she doesn't.

All the aphorisms are not from you.
Didn't you read the last one?

Pretty sappy.-

I don't think you came
up with it on your own.

- You don't know me.

I wear Armani dress shirts
these days.

Only the Chinese wear them
these clays.

What kind of shirt
should I wear then?

Want to go look for one
one of these days?

Translated by Aretta Vähälä
Proofread by Rich Lyons