Going in Style (2017) - full transcript

Good morning, sir. Welcome to
Williamsburg Savings Bank.

Let me just grab a
pager for you here,

and we'll get you to sit
with a banking professional

as soon as one becomes available.

What happens with this?

Oh, it's going to
light up and vibrate.

The red lights spin around in a

circle. You won't
be able to miss it.

Where do I wait?

The guest lounge.

We're ready for you now.



I'm seeing an overdrawn balance
in your daily checking.

Seems like your direct
deposits haven't been

received in a few months. From...

Wechsler Steel.

Yeah, I've been phoning
them for weeks.

I couldn't get a straight answer.

And how about this,
foreclosure notice?

Ah. The yellow one. So
you must be in default.

My mortgage payment
tripled. Overnight.

You were on our teaser rate promo,
which expired back in January.

That's why it's
called a teaser rate.

Right? It doesn't
last. Make sense?

And the new rate is
quite a bit higher,

so the monthly mortgage
payment jumped up.



Now, we are required
to disclose that

possibility at the
time of the refi.

- You did.
- I did what?

You sold me this crap.

Joe Harding.

No. I know the name.

Let me just look at my notes here.

Terms disclosed.

I personally disclosed

the possibility of a rate
hike during your refi.

Do you remember that?

You told me

that the odds on the rate
going past the prime rate

were extraordinary.

But possible.

But you sold me "extraordinary."

But the "possible" was disclosed.

Listen, Chuck.

My granddaughter and my
daughter, they live with me.

She is a nurse's aide, you
know, low pay and all that.

She wanted her kid
to go to a better

school, so they moved in with me.

- Lots of people doing that.
- Yeah. So you see,

I can't lose my house.

Not to worry.

You're on the yellow notice.

The red one is more weighty.

Can I talk with someone else?

- Who?
- Someone smarter?

Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you for your attention.

We've come to make a withdrawal.

Aside from the tellers,

we invite you to lie down
on the floor, face up,

and hold your arms and legs
in the air like a pussycat.

Everybody down.

Tellers,

please do not be foolish enough
to trigger the silent alarm.

The last people we want
here would be the police.

That would be messy, no?

Put 'em up.

Why this? Oh, my God. Why
here? What did I do?

Hey.

I follow the book.
Just follow procedure.

Just stay calm. Stay calm.

- Follow procedure.
- Hey.

You're going to get yourself shot.

Gentlemen, it's best
to remain silent.

I'm cramping.

Relax, please. You can sit up.

- Ah.
- Hey, no. Not you. Pussycat.

Keep stuffing it in
there. Let's go. Come on.

You can have this.

I'm sorry you're a
casualty of a corrupt

system that no longer
serves the people.

Yeah. I've been banking
here for 40 years.

You're just an account number.

It's not much, but it's all yours.

No, my friend. Not from you.

It is a culture's duty to
take care of its elderly.

Chuck here couldn't give a crap.

Chuck.

- Are you Chuck?
- Yes.

I'm Chuck. I'm Chuck.

Are you the one taking
this man's house?

- I'm not, personally.
- Give me your wallet.

Okay. Look, I got... I have...

I have plenty of stuff
here, okay? Cash.

There's a gym membership.
Take it. I never go.

Fifteen seconds.

- Pussycat.
- Meow.

Shut up.

I'm happy to say, our
time together has ended.

Please do not call the
police for 90 seconds.

A shoot-out never
has a happy ending.

Oh. They make a pill for that.

That looks like a
gang tattoo to me.

Very detailed.

I imagine the artist did them all.

So, if you find the
tattoo parlour,

then you'll find the artist, and
you've got yourself a bank robber.

Sounds pretty standard to me.

Right. Well, thanks
a lot, old-timer.

You know, we're going to
get you an application.

Hey, listen. I've
watched this TV show

called Law and Order,
and they solve

crimes much quicker than you do.

You should tune in.

Well, you know, in the real world,

solving crimes takes
a little longer

than a one-hour television show.

Well, I guess this wraps
it up for us, Mr. Harding.

If we need any
additional information,

then we'll get in
contact with you.

Oh. You'll need my address
and phone number.

Not necessary.

We'll find you. That's what we do.

So, what'd they look like?

It was hard to tell.
They had masks on.

I got close to one. It was
a male, about six feet.

And he had this tattoo
wrapped around his neck

that I told you about.

You know, you find
the tattoo artist...

- You find the criminal.
- Exactly.

That's what I told them.

Okay. I'm sure you're not supposed
to be talking about all of this.

It must have been so cool being
in the middle of a heist.

Crime is not cool, babe.

He could have been shot.

Or worse.

What's worse than being shot?

Being shot twice.

This kind of detail

is traditionally indicative
of gang affiliation.

We believe these individuals
used the same tattoo artist.

If we can find this artist,
then we can find our perp.

It's pretty standard stuff really.

- Hey, that's what we said.
- Any other questions?

What an asshole.

Language.

If you have any information
regarding this tattoo artist...

Bingo.

"The three men walked off with
approximately 1.6 million dollars.

"The FBI and the NYPD

"are reporting no
leads at this time."

So what?

Nobody gets hurt
except the insurance

company. And they'll be fine.

They were as cool as
cucumbers, gents.

They choreographed it
down to the second.

Like a dance.

Yeah, a conga line
right into prison.

Are we going to play or what?

Ask the man in charge.

Milton?

Milton.

Who're we rolling with on two?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

G-52.

If I ever get that bad, shoot me.

Oh.

Did you get one of these?

It came certified mail.

Yes, sir.

You ever get good news
that needed a signature?

You contact anybody
down at the plant?

Oh, not yet. But we'll
find out what's going on.

I need my pension money.

Oh. Yeah, tell me about it.

I have something very
important to say.

G-52.

Let's go and help the elderly.

Now, at the time of our merger,

Semtech had no intentions of
shuttering US operations.

However, with the demand for
speciality parts way down,

and the cost of operations in
this country rising steadily,

they have made the decision

to move all manufacturing
to Vietnam.

Wechsler's stateside operations

will be phased out
over the next 30 days.

30 days? What, are you kidding me?

Guys, I understand
this is harsh news.

I can only address you
in an orderly fashion.

Excuse me, Mr. Lewis.

Hi, Joe.

What is this about?

What's going on with our pensions?

Semtech Steel has frozen

all pension payments during
this transitional period.

What does that mean? Frozen?

Wechsler maintained a fund

to honour all pre-merger
pension plans,

which was eventually to be married
with the new pension fund

under the new labour contract.

For God's sake, can you
say that in English?

No US operations, no fiscal
responsibility for Semtech.

The pension fund is
being dissolved.

With all due respect, Donald,

thirty years of hard work
means shit to you people.

Without my pension money, I
can't even pay rent this month.

We'll get a lawyer and sue
the piss out of them.

Shit. We'd be dead by the
time the settlement comes in.

Which would suit them just fine.

When did coffee go to two dollars?

A decade ago.

God forbid you get
extra foam on the

top, you have to make payments.

Let's leave her 20%.

Okay, good. Now she
can take a cruise.

Okay, boys. I got a
half a rhubarb left.

We got the blueberry crumble,
which is a little stale.

And I got the mud pie.
So, what's it gonna be?

Not today. Thank you.

No pie?

We're watching our waistlines.

Plus we're shit broke.

Okay. Well, don't tie
up my table all day.

I gotta make a living here.

Did I tell you those guys in
the bank had machine guns?

You told us six times already.

Yeah, well, it keeps
going in my head.

Over and over, you know?

Maybe you're having a stroke.

Here you go, boys.
Always have your pie.

Life is short.

Well, thanks for the reminder.

She's right, you know.

We should be having our
pie and eating it.

We've earned that much, at least.

- Gentlemen, good evening.
- Good evening.

Welcome to what is essentially
the last rose ceremony.

Kaitlyn, this is the
final rose tonight.

She can count, Einstein.

My heart is beating out
of my chest right now.

This week was... incredible.

Shawn's boring, and
Nick's a man-whore.

Monogamy is an outdated concept.

I am in love and
that's so exciting.

Ben. The only choice she's got.

She's not going to move
to a farm in those heels.

She's kissed them
all. With her tongue.

Done the whole cast that way.
She's a walking venereal disease.

When I think about this
week, how everything went

has made my decision feel,
like, almost impossible.

Kaitlyn, close your mouth.

Nick.

- Oh, shit.
- God.

Turn it off. It's a travesty.

They never learn.

I'm going home and
sort out my pills.

Tomorrow, gents.

That was a great meal tonight.

What you can do with
frozen fish is admirable.

Best garlic bread I ever had.

And that combination of
paprika and garlic, oh.

- Fantastic.
- Oh. Whoo.

Actually, I think
it was the mould.

All right. Good night.

Joe.

What?

We'll be all right?

Sure, we will. It always
works out in the end.

And then you die.

Oh, thanks for the
inspiration, Albert.

Good night, all. I'll
see you tomorrow.

- Good night, Joe.
- Good night.

Assholes.

Hey, Willie. How you feeling?

Partly cloudy, Doc. Partly cloudy.

Well, I'm not going to lie to you.

You can. I won't mind.

The dialysis is
working marginally.

You know, a kidney is all
that's going to get you well.

Well, I'll look on eBay.

You're way down the list.
It's partially your age,

it's partially your
insurance. It's partially...

Kidneys aren't that
easy to come by.

Yeah. Everybody wants
to hold on to theirs.

Have you talked to your
daughter? Your friends?

It's common to find a
donor in your circles.

And that's often the
best match anyway.

I'll talk to them.

Sooner than later.

So, what are we talking about?

We're talking about
much sooner than later.

Hello?

You get your presents, Boppa?

You send something?

Wait a minute,

the postman brought me
this box right here,

but that can't be it.

That's it, that's it.
Open it already.

All right, all right. Hold
your horses. I'm old.

Oh, my goodness.

This...

This is the ugliest
shirt I've ever seen.

Boppa.

All right. Let's see what
else is down in here.

You're getting real big, K.

Grew an inch in a month, Boppa.

Hey, you tell your mum

that her career isn't as
important as seeing her family.

I will.

- Promise?
- I promise.

Good girl.

- That's my ride.
- Okay.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Ezra.

Ezra.

You gotta stop this. I
can't listen anymore.

I've been practising.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter
because you get worse every week.

It's kind of a miracle. I
don't know how you do it.

So what's the point? You're
no good, you don't like it,

you're not gonna
be a professional.

You wanna end up like me,
working in a factory?

And every two months
you're getting

a gig for 40 bucks at some dive?

You don't want that.

I don't even like this thing.

No. And it doesn't
like you, either.

Trust me, I'm doing you a favour.
You'll thank me for this.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, you're very welcome.

I want to be a dancer,
like Beyoncé.

Well, it's none of my business.

Okay. All right, good.

All right, get off. Get off me.

Get off. I'll go
find your grandma.

She's still got to pay
me for the session.

You gotta think of it like
putting down a horse.

Sometimes, it's the kindest,
most ethical thing you can do.

Well, thank you for being
so honest with me.

I really appreciate your candour.

Well, your grandson hasn't got
a musical bone in his body.

I know. It was so painful
listening in the other room.

And I had to sit across from him.

Okay.

- Al.
- Yeah?

I never told you this, but I've
seen you perform a few times.

- Ah...
- In the West Village

with Stan Getz, 1977.

It was stunning.

You saw me play with Getz?

Sure did.

What are you, following me?

No. I was following the music.

Hey. I'll see you
at the store, okay?

See you at the store.

Yup.

All right.

See you tomorrow.

Bye, guys.

You know, at some point,

I'm gonna have to start
walking home on my own.

I'm 14.

Not on my watch, lovie.

This neighbourhood is not the
same as it was 40 years ago.

Right. It's safer and
more gentrified.

Bam.

And what is this?

It's my biology test.

Another day, another A.

Well done, kiddo.

I'm almost there.

Almost where?

You said, and I quote,

"You get straight A's,
you get a puppy."

I like your confidence.

Must have got that
from you, young man.

Not bad, kiddo. Not bad at all.

Happy Birthday, young man.

Didn't expect you broke
bastards to get me anything.

Temper your enthusiasm.
It's not much.

That's just what I needed.

Yup.

- One can't get enough time.
- Oh.

Take a look at that cute picture.

Oh, yeah. My little K.

When you die, you can will
it to her as a memento.

Thanks, Al.

I'm sure she'll want a picture
of herself on a watch

from her dead grandpa.

Look at that. That's
really something.

You bet, kid.

This corn is from World War Two.

Corn?

I thought this was...

I don't know what
I thought it was.

I think I may rob a bank.

What was that?

I'm thinking of robbing a bank.

Oh.

I'm thinking about
buying a Ferrari.

I just got drafted by the Knicks.
Good week for everybody, huh?

Good week.

They're taking my house.

Huh?

They're taking my house.

I've got 30 days.

Who's taking your house?

The bank.

They're taking your house
and you didn't tell us?

What are you gonna
do? Lend me money?

We're all broke. The
three of us combined.

These banks practically
destroyed this country.

They crushed a lot
of people's dreams.

And nothing ever happened to them.

We're three old guys. We hit
a bank, we get away with it,

we retire with dignity.

Worst comes to the
worst, we get caught,

we get a bed, three meals a day

and better healthcare
than we get now.

You...

You're talking about us?

Us and you?

Yeah, I mean, if a gang of thugs
can do it, it can't be that hard.

You're out of your frigging mind.

You have spent 20 years
waiting to die, Al.

With no life and no purpose.

And robbing a bank is going
to give me a purpose?

It will give us money.

Willie would be able
to get on a plane

and go and see his granddaughter.

It's a little hard to catch
a plane out of prison, Joe.

Yeah, but we won't get caught.

They didn't get caught.

Well, they were young.
They were fast.

We got skills, experience. Smarts.

Arthritis, gout, shingles.

(SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY)

Make a wish, Willie.

Hello?

I'm just lying here,

thinking about all of the birthday

wishes that I have
had over the years.

And how many of them
I've kept secret.

And none of them ever came true.

They never seem to pay out.

So I figure I'm going to
tell you this one, Joe.

I mean, what's the
worst that can happen?

A whole bunch of nothing, right?

Fire away, Willie.

I want to live better than I am.

I want to see my family
more than once a year.

And from here on in,

I want to have a piece
of pie whenever

the hell I want a piece of pie.

You know what I mean?

Hear, hear.

You were serious today.

I think so.

The thing is,

we have nothing to lose.

I'm not a thief, Joe.

Neither am I.

We take exactly what's owed
on the pension, right?

That's all I want.

Not a penny more.

My word.

Wake Al up.

Hold on.

Al.

Al.

Albert.

- Huh?
- Pick up the phone.

Who died?

Nobody died, it's Joe.

I don't talk to criminals.

You heard that?

Hang up. I'll call him back.

What do you want?

The thing is, what
do you want, Al?

You want to drift off
into the sunset,

or do you want to
go out with a bang?

I don't have a problem with dying.

I just don't want
to do it in prison.

Nobody's going to prison.

What exactly is happening here?

Willie's in.

You're both out of your minds.

Sleep on it, Al.

I don't need to sleep on
anything. I'm not a bank robber.

Neither are you, or you, Willie.

What?

Why did you pick up the phone?

Because it was ringing.

Because you're interested.

What are you, my psychiatrist now?

More like a psychic.

Well, then you know I'm
going to hang up now.

I'll see you tomorrow, Al.

Sweet dreams.

And don't call back.

All right, Willie. It's
time to walk before we run.

These goddamn expiration dates are

so small, they want
you to go blind.

Take these, I got two for one.

Oh, good. Chicken
thighs are on special.

I can make a cordon bleu.

Mets or Yankees?

Don't insult me.

Huh. Nice hats.

We got business here, Al.

Okay. What do you mean?

Give me that list.

What are you doing?

Wait here. We'll be right back.

What are you doing with my list?

Why did you rip up my list?

Why should I wait in the car?

Wait in the bloody car.

Why?

I don't want to stay in the
car, it's hot in here.

Psst. Psst.

Psst. Joe. Joe. Behind the crumbs.

Joe, I'm going to get a roast.

We need chicken. It's cordon bleu.

I don't want cordon bleu.

Stick to the plan.

Ah, welcome to Value...

Hello, Al.

Hi, Annie.

What are you shopping for?

Chicken cordon bleu was the plan,

but the plan seems to be changing.

I gotta get some chicken thighs.

Oh, let me help you.

Give me the big one.

The whole thing?

The whole damn thing.

You're the boss.

Annie, just let me have the thing.

Come on, you have your
own work to do now.

No, no. It's my job.
There's no problem.

Let's see. There's a double
coupon in the flyer.

It costs about the same
as thighs but, see,

these are breasts.

And breasts are better than
thighs, don't you think?

It could go either way.

Oh, ham.

So good.

Do you like ham?

Okay.

This will go perfectly with...

I mean, if you want
company. It's a big bottle.

Yeah, listen, I got to tell you.

You're a terrific person, but
I know what you're doing.

You're wasting your
time. I don't want

to have a relationship
with anybody.

I wasn't offering one.

Good, great. Then
we see eye to eye.

Security to ethnic foods, please.

We'll talk about this later.

I'll look forward to it.

Where the fuck is my basket?

Willie, Willie.

Al's gone.

I got a new getaway car.

Where the hell did
you get that thing?

I stole it.

Jump in the basket.

Who the hell do you
think I am? E.T.?

Willie, jump in the bloody basket.

I'm not getting in
no bloody basket.

She's gaining on us.

Hey, you. Stop right there.

Hey. Halt.

- Halt.
- What are you chasing me for?

Halt.

I heard you the first time.

Don't make me tase you.

This is not an admission
of guilt. I am just tired.

We got to get rid of some weight.

Get rid of that damned pork loin.

What?

What the...

Flour, flour. Give me the flour.

Halt.

Halt.

Stop.

I think we can make the light.

No, no, no. You're not going
to make the light, Joe.

You're not gonna make the light.

Hey.

No, Joe, you can't make the light.

We can make the light.
We're gonna do it.

You're not gonna make the light.

Yes, we are.

Don't make another move.

I don't know what's going
on in the world anymore.

You were going to make a cordon
bleu with chicken thighs?

That's a crime in and of itself.

I have nothing to say for myself.

Look what you did to Cindy.

Now she looking like a
Colombian drug mule.

Never

in all my years

has anybody ever walked off
with a whole pork loin.

What would your momma say?

Go big or go home.

Had to be the brother.

And why were you running?
You didn't steal anything.

Because your storm trooper
here was chasing me.

No, they were chasing
your friends.

He was chasing me. When
somebody chases me, I run.

That's the way it works.

Look, you guys are old.

And I'm gonna be there in
40, or 50 years, I get it.

Here.

Here are some coupons.

And we double them on Tuesday, but
I'm sure you already know that.

So don't steal. It's wrong.

But if you do steal, don't
steal from Value Town.

Yeah, couple of great
friends I got.

You just made me an
accomplice to a robbery.

We never asked you to do anything.

I drive you there.
I drive you back.

That makes me a getaway driver.

Oh, don't flatter yourself.

You drive like my grandmother,
and she drove a horse and buggy.

That's a good one. Just for
that you can walk home.

Don't touch my car.
Don't get in the car.

You're not going to make us walk.

Hell I'm not.

Oh, boy. You guys are going
to be great bank robbers.

You just got busted
robbing Value Town.

Oh-ho.

I hate when he's right.

We're going to need
professional help.

You think?

Oh, yeah. We might as well
turn ourselves in now.

You know any criminals?

I know a lowlife.

No speak English.

I know it's you, Murphy.

What are you doing here, Joe?

I've come about the child
support you're not paying.

Didn't I lose you in
the divorce, Joe?

Hit the buzzer.

"Maui Wowie."

"Bad Bitch."

"Blueberry Kush."

"OG Kush."

How is this legal?

Gentlemen, prohibition is over.

Marijuana has superior
medical benefits.

It's good for all
kinds of situations.

Anxiety, pain, seizures, stress.

Anxiety, pain, seizures, stress.

Anxiety, pain, seizures...

What is your situation?

Right now, anxiety.

Listen, Joe, not to be
uncool to family and such.

Ex-family.

As you say. But, what do
you want from me, man?

We have this project, and
we're looking for help.

What kind of project?

Oh, well, we'd rather not say.

Well, that makes it harder
for me to help you.

We need to find the type of
people who do bad things.

What makes you think that I
would know people like that?

I figured your kind move
in the same circles.

My kind? Entrepreneurs?

No. Lowlifes. Deadbeats.
Gangster types.

See, I'm sure that
you could point us

in the right direction.

What's wrong with him?

He's thinking.

Looks painful.

I know it looks it,

but I've seen him do it before.

It's the drugs, you know?

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Oh, this stupid bitch.

I wish I could tase his old ass.

Here comes an eggplant. Eggplant.

Hey, you.

- Hi, Annie.
- Hi.

You're here every day.
Don't you get a day off?

No, every day.

Man, tough schedule.

What are you going to
do with this eggplant?

I was thinking about
a ratatouille.

I like to slice it paper
thin for parmesan.

You know, it soaks
up all the juices.

Okay. Sounds good.

You will never, ever
taste a better one.

I'm sure. Listen,

I think you're sweet, and I
find you very attractive.

- Oh, you think I'm attractive.
- You're a lovely person.

I think that's wonderful.

But you're not looking for a
relationship. Is that right?

That's exactly right.

Well, you have made that
perfectly clear, Al.

You want to have
dinner some night?

What do I have to do? I just
don't think you hear me.

Oh, I hear you. I
hear you real good.

You know what I think?

I think we owe it to ourselves to

live every single
day that we have.

I feel that I really want
to get to know you better.

Share a meal with you.

I...

What? What is it, baby?

I have a room-mate.

I have my own place.

- Annie.
- Yeah?

You make a hell of an
eggplant parmesan.

Thank you.

World class.

Thank you.

Scrambled eggs,
turkey sausage, hash

browns, toast and coffee, please.

"Good morning, Mitzi. Your
hair looks nice today."

"Did you get your hair cut?"
"Oh yeah, Al, I did."

"And you know what I'm in the mood
for?" "I don't know, Al. What?"

Mitzi, you look gorgeous.
You smell fantastic.

Now go get me some food,
because I'm starving to death.

All right. That's more like it.

Didn't think you'd
be joining us today.

I'm too old for grudges.

That never stopped you.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Oh. Here. It's in print.

"Wechsler's pensioner's
fund, and assets

"to be distributed
to current debtors."

They're using our retirement
money to pay utility bills.

And that isn't all. Check this.

"Williamsburg Savings Bank will

manage the liquidation
of the fund,

"and the restructuring of
Wechsler's corporate debt."

- That's my bank.
- That's my bank.

That's my bank.

They're stealing our
goddamn pension.

That's what it says.

Forty years I worked for
that goddamn company,

and now they're
stealing our pension.

Get it out of here.
I'm not hungry.

You want to take it home? For go?

No. No, leave it here.

Nobody's taking anything
from me anymore.

You know something, Al?
You're complicated today.

I'm not coming back to your table.

And no coins.

I'm not a laundromat.

I'm in. I want to rob that bank.

It's as good a place as any.

Well, how do we start?

We get in touch with this fellow
that my ex-son-in-law deals with.

Why is he going to help us?

Because apparently

this is the best weed in Brooklyn.

Man, that's like a pillow.

Yeah, but it's a
pillow you can smoke.

Gentlemen, let's go
get our money back.

Hear. Hear.

Yeah.

Why would I help you?

25%. That's not chicken scratch.

I could rob a bank on
my own. Make 100%.

I'm sure you can, but
this is easy money.

None of the risks.
Only the reward.

You show us the
ropes, you get paid.

Murphy does it right.
Shit right there.

You five-oh?

We're practically eight-oh.

Now, I don't know you from Adam.

How does Jesus know you're cool?

No, we're cool.

What's the matter?

What do you think of these
guys, huh? What do you think?

What do you think,
huh? You tell me.

Good or bad?

Aw, can I hold him? Can I?

Do you want to go with him?

He says okay.

He takes the whole bottle.

Tiny little fella.

I find this one in
a drainage ditch.

- No.
- Yeah.

People have no heart these days.

So what makes you think
you can pull it off?

Well, I don't know. Thought
we'd give it a go.

"Well, I don't know. We'll
just give it a go."

You could get life. Which I
guess for you, isn't that long.

But you better think, old
man, and you better know.

This is not sitting on a
park bench playing bingo.

Listen, fella.

I don't have to
take shit from you.

I get enough of this
crap out there.

In 20 days, I will not
have a roof over my head.

My social security check is a
joke and my pension is tits up.

Us three are going
to go through with

it. We are going to
go through with it.

If you want to make 25%
helping us, that's fine.

But if you don't

keep the bullshit to yourself.

That was a good speech, bro.

You going to help us?

Tomorrow.

You got any snacks?

- Willie?
- Huh?

I love the feeling of
the air on my face.

Me too.

Oh, my God. Look out. We got
little baby junkies here.

I think I'll get a
prescription for this.

- Me too.
- Heh.

This food is excellent tonight.

They must've changed recipes.

Same crap. You got the munchies.

Hey. You mind?

Take 'em both.

Okay.

How much time do you think
you've got, Willie?

I don't know.

Take a guess.

Two, three years?

That's it? You look great.

Just a feeling. You asked.

What about you?

Oh, I'd guess, seven years.

What about you, Al?

I have bad luck. I'll
probably live to be 100.

Then you can do both eulogies.

Got it.

So that's 27 years total.

Our pensions average
45,000 dollars a year.

1,215,000 dollars is what
we withdraw from the bank.

Hey, hey, hey. What
if we get more?

We give it to charity.

Yeah, but what if we get less? I'm

not going to go
through this twice.

Hey. That's our bank right there.

Wait a second, you're going
to rob your own bank?

It's personal.

Okay. We skip lesson number one.

What was lesson number one?

Never rob your own bank.

We'll move on to lesson two then.

I've got 20 days before
I lose my house.

Robbing a bank is an art form.

Ten different people will take the
same place ten different ways.

You need to come up with a
plan that is special for you.

Cameras aquí, aquí.

One entrance.

One emergency exit.

The right getaway car
is very important.

Find something they'll
never suspect.

Just put 'em together like this.

Huh.

Magic.

Good.

You have to be in
great physical shape.

Now I realise you guys
are 4,000 years old.

That is fabulous.

But under those masks,

you're going to need to
feel like you're 20.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Now this is crucial.

You have to have a solid alibi.

Wednesday the 15th?

That's the lodge fundraiser.

Solid alibi.

Do we have any volunteers
for the T-shirt committee?

Please put your
hands down in back.

We're trying to see if there are

volunteers for the
T-shirt committee.

We are volunteering, Milton.

All right.

Each teller's drawer is equipped

with dye packs and
tracing devices.

Now, they'll give you
one if they can,

but they will never
endanger lives to do it.

The average police response
time to a robbery in progress

is between two and four minutes,

depending on how near a
unit is to the scene

and how many other police
calls are in the vicinity.

Everything's on the damn Internet.

Set your stopwatches
to two minutes.

And walk it like
it's the real deal.

4 minutes, 54 seconds.

Right now, you would all be
in the back of a cop car.

Your guns are only there for
the worst-case scenario.

You need to know how to shoot,

but the last thing you want
to do is shoot anybody.

Who's on the door?

I'll handle that. Stand
guard. Keep watch.

You know how to handle a gun?

The more you practise,

the better you'll be.

And come showtime,

you will stroll out of
that bank with more money

than you've ever seen.

Piece of cake.

Maybe the cops will be slow.

Attica. Attica. Attica.

Attica. Attica.

I don't want to watch the ending.

Yeah, that didn't
work out too well.

How can he sleep?

He's getting laid.

Oh, yeah.

I remember what that was like.

You feeling good?

Yeah. Yeah. Good as gold.

Me too.

Nobody's going to get hurt.

That's right.

We get into trouble,
we're out of there.

That's right. Yeah.

Cops come, we lay down.

Hands in the air.

Two minutes tops.

Tops. Give or take.

Get some sleep, young man.

All right. You too, young man.

Don't let the omelette touch the
fruit. She likes a separation.

You do this every day?

- Every day.
- No shit.

Yes shit.

I wish my dad did this for me.

So does your daughter.

What are you doing here?

He's making Brook's breakfast.

I see that. Why?

I'm training him. He's making
an effort to be a father.

Good morning.

Your father made you breakfast.

Holy shit.

- Easy.
- Language.

Sorry.

Your father will be
picking you up today.

Did he find Jesus or something?

Doubtful. He's figured out
how much he's missing.

Yeah, this week.

He's just not much with
the follow-through.

Give him a shot, babe. For me.

Sure, Joe. But only because
you're my best friend.

I love you, kiddo.

You're going to do it all.

What's going with you today?

Do you have cancer or something?

No. No, no. I'm as
strong as an ox.

Okay.

It's carnival day. Lots to do.

Yes. I'm coming
right after school.

Yup, and I'm going to bring you
fried dough with your name on it.

Okay. That's a little tight
there. I love you too.

Go make something of yourself.

I will, young man.

See you later,

Dad.

I've been giving you crap
for a long time, Murphy.

I guess I deserve it. Mostly.

That's one of the smartest
things you ever said.

Listen, Joe.

Whatever it is you're doing,
you don't have to do it.

There's always another way.

My business is my business,
kid. Forget that you know it.

And if in the end, I don't
come back, it's on you.

I can't cover for you anymore.

You're her father.

You got to step up to the
plate. Act like a man.

Even if you have to fake it.

All right.

Okay, gents. Let's mingle.

Three in a row wins a prize.

Hello, Paulie. Hot enough for you?

Perfect day for it.

I've got to check in
at the ticket office.

Well, be good.

I won't be good. But
I will be careful.

Okay, here you go. Thank you.

You folks are popular.

Yeah. It's the cocaine.

You've got cocaine?

That was a joke, Milton.

Oh, okay, very funny.

Hang here for one minute. I got
to go to the karaoke thing.

I can't. I got to check in
to the cotton candy booth.

Milton, that's where
you are right now.

It's okay. You're
better off not knowing.

We're closed. We're
out of cocaine.

Go away.

Beat it.

Be careful in there. Lots
of monsters, you know.

Be very careful.

All right, watch your step.

I'm going in, Sam.

- Where did they go?
- I don't know.

I thought you had 'em.

I decided we should use blanks.

No one needs to get
hurt by accident.

Well, it's just us now, kids.

Fellas,

it's been a real hell of a time
planning a heist with you.

Can't think of two people I'd
rather have done it with.

Hear. Hear.

Ditto.

Ladies and gentlemen...

This is an actual robbery.

Kiss the ground. Don't breathe.

Don't move. Don't touch
the silent alarm

unless you like bullets
flying around your head.

Hit the dirt, big guy.

Put that gun away.

Okay, folks, we'll be out of
your lives in two minutes.

Get moving, Blue Eyes.

Here we go.

All tellers, please stand
up and open your windows.

Ten seconds.

No dye packs, no tracers.

You got me, see? No tracers,

no dye packs, no funny business.

Yes, Mr. Sinatra.

Nobody's gonna get hurt.

20 seconds.

Thank you.

Here you go, ma'am.

No funny business. Do you
know what that means?

I do. I do.

All of it, son.

30 seconds.

Give me everything you've got.

You can have her, mister.

40 seconds.

Hey. Stick to the plan.

All units, all units report
to Williamsburg Savings Bank.

We have a robbery in progress.
Repeat, we have a 10-30...

One minute.

I don't want to take
your doll, sweetheart.

You know, when my
granddaughter was your age,

she had one just like it.

What's her name?

Okay, honey. This man
has a job to do.

His job's robbing banks?

No, sweetheart. Just trying
to see my family more often.

Light-headed...

What's happening?

You okay, mister?

Going to need a little help.

He's going to need a little help.

Jesus Christ.

I'll get him.

Stay put.

Oh, my God.

Lucy.

His mask's too hot for him.

Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you.

I can't breathe when I
wear masks, neither.

You're so sweet.

Two minutes.

What the hell's going on?

Can you make it out of here?

Yeah, I'm okay.

It's now or never, kid.

You stay in school, kiddo.

And don't rob banks, you hear me?

Come on.

Hurry.

This is my bank.

Are you crazy?

- Freeze.
- Me freeze?

You don't tell me to
freeze. You freeze.

I'm not going to be
a victim anymore.

Tell them to freeze too.

They can hear you just fine.

What's the plan now?

I'm working on one.

Put your hands up

and drop the money.

Okay, in three seconds,
I'm going to shoot you.

You're going to do what?

I'll shoot back.

That's your plan?

One.

Two.

Next number's three.

I can count.

He's going to bloody shoot us.

Three.

You're a shit shot, pal.

Now you're going to
meet your maker.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Those were blanks, you dipshit.

Okay, folks. Count to 90
out loud and backward.

And don't stand up
until you get there.

Start counting.

90, 89, 88, 87, 86...

Ah.

What's going on, Willie?

Nothing. I just got a little
overwhelmed, that's all. I'm good.

That was a hell of a
time for a panic attack.

I'm sorry.

No need for that. We made it.

Hard part's over.

Now's the time for
the grand finale.

Taxi. Taxi.

All right.

Astoria, Queens, please.

He's not going to
stop anytime soon.

He'll eventually pass out.

Gentlemen,

can I interest you in dessert?

What kind of pie do you have?

We have Key lime, vegan
pumpkin, cherry-mango...

A slice of each.

And more champagne.

Yeah, more champagne.

Champagne it is.

Whoa, no more booze for you.

Steady there, lightweight.

It's not the booze.

What? Wait, it's not the booze?

Hey. Can you please call
an ambulance? Please?

Where does it hurt, Willie?

Everywhere.

Oh, God.

Oh, shit.

Pull him up. It's wet.

Call an ambulance.

It just happened so quickly.

Zoom in.

Freeze frame there.

African-American?

Appears so.

Got to be at least late 60's.

Get stills of the others.

I want them plastered everywhere.

He never talked about this?

Not a peep.

He holds things very
close to the vest.

He's very tight emotionally.

Well...

Willie's in full renal failure.

He needs a kidney transplant.

Or what?

Let's just say, he won't
leave here without one.

They must have been
very young and nimble.

I fired a barrage
of shots at them,

and they were able to
evade all the bullets.

I've been on the job
for a month now,

and the bank has
been robbed twice.

So, I think I'm going to go
back to my job as a barista,

where I'm less likely to be shot.

All I can say is,
thank God for me.

It was a day of heroism for me.

Hey.

We're famous.

Better. We're infamous.

Keep it down. We're not
out of the woods yet.

So, what's going on, Willie?

You don't come to us, you
don't tell us you're sick.

We're your friends,
man. We're all you got.

It's my business, guys.

Your business? Your business.

Talk to him, Joe. I can't...
You're a selfish old bastard.

I don't get it, Will.

I would have given you
my kidney last week.

Yours is probably no good.

I still would've given it to you.

We're friends, Willie.

We're supposed to look after
each other, aren't we?

Well, let us do it. Okay?

The suspects are armed, dangerous,

and possibly in their
late 60's or early 70's.

They were disguised
as the Rat Pack,

Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra,
and Sammy Davis Jr.

Let's get out of here.

The FBI has just released this
surveillance video of the robbery.

If you have any
information, please

call the number on our screen.

I knew it. I knew when I saw
that bank surveillance.

Same height, same weight.

A lot of people fit that bill.

Yeah, but who runs like that?

We're going to need
a copy of this.

Got one right here..

I believe there's a reward.

A reward?

Yeah. I need the money. My grandma
got locked up last night.

You know how it is,
right, brother?

- Annie.
- Yeah.

I have to talk to you.

I lost this tooth last week.

Did the tooth fairy come?

He brought me five dollars.

Five... You're kidding.

You know the most I
ever got was a quarter?

You can't buy anything with
quarters anymore, Grandpa.

Tell me about it.

- Willie?
- Huh?

These men are with the FBI.

The FBI?

Must be bringing me a kidney.

Strike three. You're out.

Way to go, kiddo.

Yes.

That's my girl.

Hey. I've got to go
and find a bathroom.

All right, man.

That was awesome, Brook.

Well, here's what I think.

Old man finds himself in the
middle of a bank robbery,

and he gets his juices flowing.

And he thinks to himself,

"I could rob a bank.

"I'm smart.

"I've got nothing to lose.

"What's the worst that
can end up happening?

"I can end up spending the
last years of my life

"in some country club
style prison, rent-free."

You go to school for that?

Well, Mr. Garner,

we seem to be missing one
hour of your existence.

Between 2:30 p.m. and 3:30 p.m.

The same hour that three
elderly gentlemen

robbed 2.3 million dollars

from the Williamsburg
Savings Bank.

Wow, that's some hefty payday.

You were working the haunted house

ride between 2:00
p.m. and 4:00 p.m.?

That's what I said.

And you never left that ride?

Only to go inside. Scare the kids.

I got up, like I
always do. 6:00 a.m.

I walked my granddaughter
to school.

Like I do every day.

Well, it's a fairly
new relationship,

so we spend a lot
of time together.

Let's see, first thing in the
morning, we made love twice.

No.

Three times.

And that was it.

Annie Santori.

And then, we got up.
I made pancakes...

And then, I got dressed.

Got dressed. Had
breakfast at Nat's.

I go there...

Couple of times a week at least.

For years. He's a regular.

You seeing anybody?

I'm married with two kids.

Well, take my number.
Things happen.

I got dressed.

I gathered the tickets
for the ride booth.

I'm on that committee
for the fundraiser.

All right, boys,
good luck to us all.

Time to get in the bag.

Got to the park around 2:00 p.m.

Talked to my friend
Paul for a few minutes,

then ran one of the ticket booths.

Hi, Tony.

Good afternoon.

I've got you a souvenir.

Oh, thanks, Joe. I needed a hat.

And that's where I was for
most of the carnival.

You can ask anyone
who bought a ticket.

They'll tell you they got
it from a handsome old gent

in a grey flat cap.

Then we went to the fair,

and I was at the cotton
candy stand till 2:00,

and then Mr. Milton
Kupchak relieved me.

Al was there all day.

At 2:30 p.m.?

- Who?
- Al?

Garner?

Yes.

He's here?

You know, in the
cotton candy booth,

he tried to sell me cocaine.

And I'm prepared to testify.

Kids love the haunted house.

Frankenstein's one
of their favourites.

Must have been in
there over an hour.

Yes, I've had stomach
issues for years

from all the drinking
I used to do.

It's called diverticulitis,

and the doctor says
I should probably

have a section of
my colon removed.

I don't really like that idea.

So from 2:30 p.m. to
3:30 p.m., give or take,

you were

going to the bathroom?

Yes.

It's very tedious,
but I keep reading

material with me all the time.

Helps pass the time.

After that, I found
my lady friend,

and we rehearsed our
karaoke performance.

Then what happens?

Oh, my God.

Look out.

Would you mind washing
this dirty laundry for me?

You got it.

Altogether, it was a lovely
day at the carnival.

Hit me with your best shot.

Oh.

Wow. Pretty solid
story, Mr. Harding.

The truth is easy to remember.

Yeah. It was almost perfect.

Except let me tell you a little
something about criminals.

They always make
one stupid mistake

that ends up screwing
up the whole plan.

I'm going to need you to take
a ride with me, Harding.

Okay, guys, let's go. Clear
the gym. Official business.

Come on, man. What the hell?

Out the back door there.

All right. Folks, come
up. Hurry up, let's go.

Let's go. Let's go.

Right over here. Line them up.

I want you to start with
that man over there, okay?

Get a good look at his face.

I don't see him.

What?

He's not here.

Are you sure?

Yep. I'm positive.

I got a great memory.

Hey. You want to
have another look?

Not really.

Can I go home now?

Yeah.

Oh,

I thought you might not be coming.

Well, here I am.

So, what's good here, Joey?

Nothing, really.

Why do you come?

I like bad coffee.

Yes. This I understand.

He has all his shots.

Rabies, distemper, Bordetella.
He's been neutered.

All the papers are
in the proper order.

You take your cut?

No. Not from you.

It is a culture's duty to
take care of its elderly.

It is a culture's duty to
take care of its elderly.

Where's the tattoo?

Henna, my friend.

Show the person with the worst
eyes an image he can't forget.

The policía will be
spinning around for years.

That looks like a
gang tattoo to me.

If we can find this artist,
then we can find our perp.

Very impressive.

It's a tragedy.

FBI. Behind you. Six o'clock.

Agent Hamer,

would you like a bad coffee?

I'm a soy latte man, Mr.
Harding. I'm lactose intolerant.

You left that behind at evidence.

How did you find me?

Well, that's what I do.

I find people.

This is my friend, Jesus.

He fosters dogs.

Special Agent Hamer, FBI.

Jesus Garcia. Queens.

Are you adopting a
puppy, Mr. Harding?

Yes, yeah. It's for
my granddaughter.

She made the honour
roll at school.

That's great.

I love puppies.

You mind?

He might be sleeping.

That's okay. I won't wake him.

Oh, good heavens, aren't you
just the cutest little thing?

Let me get a look at you
with your smushy face.

When I was just a kid,

I grew up with Border Collies.

Oh, now that's a great breed.
I just love Border Collies.

Yeah, they're wonderful.

Yeah, come here, little guy.

He's a cute little fella.

Attaboy, come here. Come
here, little fella.

Yeah, come over here.

Ah.

You little son of a bitch.

Oh, be careful there.
He's teething.

Yeah.

You have to watch his
little razor blades.

Thanks.

We don't want you
to bleed to death.

I got to get this little
guy back to the house

before my granddaughter
gets out of school.

What a nice surprise for her.

It'll knock her socks off.

Do you have a dog
now, Agent Hamer?

No. It's my job.

Long hours.

I couldn't do that to an animal.

All right. Let's get this
little fella to his new home.

You boys are killing
me with these quar...

Someone just dropped
off this present.

Whoa.

Big piece.

Cut them up.

"Everyone deserves a
piece of the pie."

Ow.

Sorry, Mr. Garner.

Thought you were
tougher than that.

I'm not tough.

I'm a very sensitive person.

I'm going to be honest with you.

I don't really want to die today.

That's a new one.

But, if I do, I just want to say

that you've been a terrific
room-mate and friend for...

25 years.

25 years? It's been that long?

Seems like 25 days, doesn't it?

Yeah, it does.

Underwater.

Good one.

All right, gentlemen. Here we go.

They say in life...

Come here.

If you're lucky, you get a
couple of great friends.

The people who are right
with you to the end.

You grow old together, see it all
together, do it all together,

laugh and cry together.

Al Garner was one of
those guys for me.

There will not be
many men like him.

Willing to risk all for others.

Give you a kind word

or a kidney.

And complain about it
every step of the way.

That's you.

That's not altogether true.

- Annie.
- Yes.

He's your problem now.

Thanks.

Good luck. May you enjoy every
minute of every moment you have.

We love you.

We love you too, young man.

Cheers. Cheers, everyone.

Cheers.

Let's give it up for
the wedding party.

I'm gonna revise
my estimate, Joey.

How's that?

I may be around another 20 years.

Not with Al's kidney.

That's 10 years, tops.

Close enough. I'll take it.

Here he comes.

What's the matter?

My face is killing me. I never
had to smile so much in my life.

So? What's it like?

What's what like?

Being married, dummy.

I don't know how any
of this happened.

I mean, I don't even
remember proposing.

I mean, I feel like
a raccoon caught

in a bear trap with one leg stuck.

She's a terrific person.

I mean, she's sexy, we get it on.

She's a great cook.

She likes me the way I am.

I don't even like me the way I am.

Everything is terrific,
but I got to tell you,

I'm experiencing this
very odd feeling.

I think it might be happiness.

Cheers. Your glass
is officially full.