God Bless New Dixie (2016) - full transcript

(soft music)

I think there's a Bojangles
on the way to my house.

if they ain't tore it down yet.

(soft music)

Now look, we only got the
one bed in the kitchen,

and the futon in the living area,

it ain't exactly a Tempurpedic.

Well, it's all good.

I'll make do.

You know what we can do is
throw some laundry down on it.

Spruce it up a little for your lower back.



Well, this is me.

(soft music)

Excuse the mess.

(soft music)

[Ferra] Let me in.

Yeah, I forgot to tell
you that door don't work.

I was high on mescaline
and I blow torched it solid

on account of thinking it was
a gateway to a demon world.

It was right before I went to
rehab the time before last.

Get in.

(soft music)

Oh.

Let's ride.

Kacie.



Yeah.

No offense, but it
smells like rancid tobacco

and ass in here.

Yeah, it does.

It smells like breath out of
a goddamn laryngectomy hole.

Hey, you're welcome to clean it.

What can you do with a world so old

It's old news to you

Bless your heart

Goodness knows you gotta do right now

You try to do right now

You try to do right now

Walk through the woods of the old south

Together with some skills and doubt

And I traveled to a place of admiring men

You got a point there.

You is good at that.

One sip now.

And found all the clues that I been sent

Damn.

There are like six Cook
Outs around here now.

You go away for four months, come out,

and don't even recognize the place.

Bless your heart

Goodness knows you try to do right now

Wonder what that's about.

Probably nothing.

Just some simple-minded fool

adding confusion to the universe.

Hm, he looks pretty sketchy.

Wanna ask him what he's up to?

No, I do not.

Oh come on, Ferra.

It'll be like those
stories you were telling me

you solved with your friends.

That's back when I was a real drunk.

In one-on-one therapy,

I was taught to accept the
things I cannot change.

Let's just ask him what he's up to,

start an investigation and go from there.

Kacie, I'm fixin' to settle down

and make an honest livin'.

I am not looking to talk to no
crack addict flippin' signs.

(bright music)

Now it's fine for you to stay with us,

but I'm gon' need some time alone

with Harry for a few minutes.

You gonna do it
right-out-of-the-gate-like?

I figure that's the best way.

And Harry's a real romantic guy
so soon as I propose to him,

he's probably gonna
wanna mark the occasion.

[Kacie] Got ya.

With intercourse.

Do not disturb.

I got it.

I went to college for a semester.

I can read between the lines.

I'll let you know when
it's good to come back inside

and we'll set up the futon

with the laundry for you and whatnot.

Are you nervous?

No.

I given this one a lot of thought.

Ooh, I got goose pimples fixing

to watch this epic love reunite.

(soft music)

Who the fuck are you?

I'm Darlene.

What the fuck you doing in my house?

This is my house.

The fuck it is.

I found it.

[Ferra] Where's Harry?

[Darlene] I found it.

This place is a shit hole.

All right, get out of here,
you hermit-crabbing bitch.

[Darlene] No, it's mine.

Get out of here.

No, it's mine.

I found it.

And you know what?

I'm gon' live here in this house.

Goddamn it, Darlene.

Everything in here is mine.

Everything in this bathroom is mine.

Don't you use my hairspray.

Oh this?

(soft music) (hairspray whooshing)

This empty.

Open this door.

I'm gonna slap the shit out of you.

Don't you threaten me.

I'm calling the police.

I got squatter's rights.

I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Hey, I'ma call 'em right now.

I'm taking my clothes.

Hey, those are my clothes.

[Ferra] And I'ma come back

for my goddamn $99 widescreen TV.

That's my TV.

I'm coming back for this shit, Darlene.

[Darlene] I hate you.

I ain't done with you, bitch.

Come on.

(soft music)

[Darlene] I just bought that.

This is all fucked up.

This is turning into the case

of where the hell we gonna sleep tonight.

That's fucking right.

Can you prove you own it?

Do they even write up paperwork
for that sort of shit?

I mean it would be like
writing up paperwork

for a pile of garbage.

Does the state even care who owns it?

Ain't my trailer.

It's Harry's.

Who knows where the hell he is.

Call him.

I'm trying to surprise
him with the ring and all.

You know?

Shoot girl, ain't seen
you around in a while.

Hey Damien.

Hi.

[Damien] So what are y'all having?

[Ferra] You workin' here now?

Actually, this is my last day.

Well, get me a Miller Lite, I guess.

Same.

So.

Where the hell you been, girl?

Rehab.

Step one.

What?

Nothing.

Hey, you seen Harry?

Not for a long time, actually.

Couple months at least.

You know where he went?

(chuckles) Hell, I don't.

Shit.

Look Ferra, seems like
your man done run off.

Harry ain't the kind to
run off with no good reason.

He'll run off for a bad reason,

but he'll always let me know.

You're working through a
mix of emotions right now.

Yeah.

Look, I know how you feel.

I been there.

Hell, I am there.

Again.

Been in and out of rehab so many times,

I'm constantly there.

Where exactly?

Lost your home.

Lost your job.

Don't know where you is.

Don't know where you going,
but you'll get there.

Or you'll go back to rehab.

Thanks, Kacie.

(soft music)

I just know where
you're coming from is all.

(soft music)

J.D., you prick.

[Kacie] Who's that?

That's just J.D.

He's a no-good asshole drug dealer.

Got a small dick and too much to prove.

Well, he's looking right at you.

He's been known to do that.

Now he's waving you over.

Fine.

(bright music)

Ferrari Thunderbird Taylor.

What the hell you want,
J.D., fannin' me over here?

People call me Carlos now.

Carlos?

It's my birth name.

I ain't got time for this shit.

Heard you got out of rehab,

which means you're
probably lookin' for Harry.

Take my advice.

Stop lookin'.

You ain't gonna find him.

He's with us now.

Now, me and you, we got a history.

No, we do not.

[J.D.] Well, kind of we do.

We ain't got shit, J.D.

It's Carlos.

Point being.

I'ma give you the one warning here

and you better take it serious, hear me?

If you come around looking for Harry,

I can't be held responsible
for what happens to you.

I aim to do whatever the hell I please.

You best get over him and just move on.

You just too nosy.

Now, we got big plans for Harry

and you ain't in them.

Your threats are as
weak as your game, J.D.

I'ma find my man.

You ain't gon' find him.

And if you get to looking,
you gon' end up in trouble.

I'll see to it.

(ominous music)

(bright music)

Now this should help you get over Harry.

(bright music)

Hey don't you go away.

I ain't done interrogatin' you.

Don't take more than one at the same time.

Uh uh. Uh uh.

Uh uh. Uh uh.

Uh uh. Uh uh.

[Ferra] Y'all suck.

Uh uh. Uh uh.

(bright music)

What are you hiding, you asshole?

You motherfuckers, I hate you.

Damien, give me a shot of Jaeger.

(soft music)

Looks like you about to start
one of them investigations.

Goddamn it, you're probably right.

(soft music)

So, how we gonna start?

Gonna look for a clue
or something somewhere?

I'll tell you what we gon' do.

(soft music)

Darlene, who the fuck is this?

This is Greg.

I met him on OK Cupid.

Oh good Lord.

Is this the kind of shit
you been pulling in my home?

You need to get out of here right now.

I'm back for my TV.

That's my TV.

I found it.

Unplug this and get it out of here.

Darlene, you never
should have fucked with us.

Hey, we're watching the Netflix.

We're on a date.

It ain't a date if you sitting on your ass

watching TV with some
pervert from the internet.

Greg's not a pervert.

Well.

Darlene, you a thief and you a skank.

You need help.

We actually know a place.

[Ferra] Mm hm.

I'm just gon' call the cops.

[Ferra] Do it then.

I will.

Harry, you in there?

(soft music)

Oh, hey Ferra.

Who are all these people?

I'm Greg.

Oh, this is Darlene and this is Greg

who are criminally occupying my home.

I'm Kacie Campbell.

Kacie's with an I-E.

Campbell's got a P in it.

Enchante, baby.

[Kacie] Are you Harry?

Oh hell no.

This is Harry's BFF, Carther Graham.

Give that screen to him and come help me

with this repo operation.

[Darlene] Greg, do something.

[Greg] What do you want me to do?

[Darlene] You're a man.

Get 'em on out of here.

[Carther] Ferra, you seen Harry?

[Ferra] Now is not the time.

You gotta stop right there
and wait for the police.

Get out of my way, old man.

Give me back my TV.

[Carther] Goddamn it,
she fucking stabbed me.

Move.

Greg, what are you doing?

I think we oughta let them go.

I think you a prudent man, Greg.

You deserve better than Darlene.

I'm gonna call the cops.

(bright music)

Did you drive here?

No.

Shotgun.

Damn.

Stuck me in my side meat.

Carther, we gon' to stay with you tonight.

Mm hm.

Yeah, I can get behind
some menage a trois.

Ain't gon' be like that.

We'll use your guest room.

Well, that might be a problem.

Why would that be a problem?

Damn, it smells like a cigarette
fart in here, doesn't it?

Hey, why would that be a problem?

Shit.

Well, all right.

That's kind of why I been
around here looking for Harry.

See, a few months ago he
told me he was gonna go out

on the amateur level at a bass pro tour.

Yeah well, he needed a sponsor.

So I.

Kinda.

Sorta.

Maybe.

Might've took out a second
mortgage to cover him.

[Kacie] What?

Why would you do that?

He was in a groove, girl.

You don't understand.

His charisma at that
time was just radiant.

I couldn't say no to him.

Besides he promised me I
could come down as a sponsor

on one them big VIP
boats with big rollers.

Man, we was gonna road trip down to Tampa.

He was gon' win a trophy.

Shit that was a beautiful dream.

Something worth fighting for, you know.

I'm guessing none of that happened.

I guess it didn't.

I don't know if you heard,
but Harry's mama passed.

Miss Sherry?

Yeah.

That woman was no friend of mine,

but I didn't expect her to
shuffle off the coil so soon.

Carbon monoxide I heard.

Oh.

You know she's out there on

that big farm of hers all alone.

It's 10 miles to the nearest neighbor.

That place give me the creeps.

[Carther] All I know
it was Harry they said

that finally found her.

[Ferra] Ugh.

Messed him up pretty bad, I guess.

Anyway, I guess that was about the time

he gave up on the bass tour

'cause he just kind of fell
off the face of the earth.

Couldn't find him at the trailer.

Not the Whistle Dip.

Fucking nowhere.

Poor Harry.

Shit, poor Carther.

I got burned.

You sound like an idiot.

[Ferra] Oh, he is.

Goddammit, y'all.

He told me he was gonna
catch a fish so big,

they could have served it

at Long John Silver's for four whole days.

What y'all say Harry's last name was?

Shumway. Shumway.

[Carther] What the hell?

(bright music)

Look at this.

[Ferra] What is it?

(bright music)

Oh.

(bright music)

Well fuck me with a steak knife.

(bright music)

Step two.

Yeah, you know, I had seen them signs.

I don't guess I ever really
made the connection, you know.

I knew you were dumb.

I didn't know you were dumb enough

to not know the name of your best friend.

Come on, girl.

You're the one who solves
mysteries and shit.

I don't know nothing 'bout government

or politics or elections or-

Signs with Harry's name on them.

Damn, I do my best.

[Ferra] You got what you need?

I'm good.

(bright music)

Shotgun.

Damn.

[Kacie] Come on, you know
you're never gonna beat her.

She always gotta have her damn way.

(bright music)

What the fuck is this?

Welcome to Carther Cove.

It's where I been living.

It looks primitive.

Yeah well, you know I've been
having to rent my house out

just to keep from losing it.

Carther, this is so fucking sad.

I really don't know what
else to say about it.

Well, let me give you the grand tour.

We got all the comforts of home.

You know over here,
that's the master bedroom.

And over there is the guest room.

And over here we got the toaster

and that's for them pop tarts

and I do have four different
kinds of pop tarts.

Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah so.

Pretty much the civilization
I got worked out over here.

Got any beer?

Oh yeah, girl.

It's in the cooler.

[Ferra] Didn't this
use to be the Winn-Dixie?

[Carther] Yeah, I think so.

[Kacie] So, where you get the power from?

Turns out there's a Quick
Stop across the street

with an open outlet and I just took

like eight 50 footers, linked
'em together, days of chain.

Ran them across the street.

Ain't doing too bad for
yourself all things considered.

I like to think of
myself as an adaptable man.

Oh, hey.

What?

[Carther] I only got two bags.

Yeah?

And there's three of us.

You can sleep in Kacie's
noxious fucking car.

Nobody is sharing a bag with you.

I saved you two.

Least you can do is treat
me to a little foreplay.

Stop being a gross
fucker and plug this TV in,

so I can have a little something

to watch while I fall asleep.

Make me feel like I'm not in a lean-to

in the middle of hell.

[Carther] Carther Cove
is getting an AV upgrade.

That TV is still mine.

Yeah well, we'll see whose it is

when all the dust settles.

All right, we got juice now.

All right.

So two bags, huh.

Three people.

Car's open.

Have at it.

Excuse me, this is my home.

You go sleep in the car.

You sleep in the car.

You sleep in the car.

[Ferra] You sleep in the fucking car.

[Carther] You sleep in the car.

Goddamn it, sleep in the car, Carther.

Step three.

I am not gon' sleep in that damn car.

Then you need to figure something out.

(soft music)

[Carther] This is all I wanted.

[Announcer] Free for
the first 500 callers.

What are you waiting for?

Grab your phone now and give
us a call at 1-800-547-5684.

And order yours today.

Must be 18 years or older to call.

[Ferra] Dear Jesus.

It was suggested in rehab

that I might spend some time
getting to know you again.

I know it has been a long time,

but I could really use your tender

loving help at the moment.

The love of my life, Harry Alvin Shumway,

has got his dumb ass tangled
up in some sort of Gordian knot

that I don't have the
power to unravel by myself.

If you can find it in
your benevolent heart

to show me the way forward, I
would greatly appreciate it.

In your holy name.

Amen.

Hey y'all, my name is Harry Shumway

and I'm fixing to run for governor

of the great state of South Carolina.

Now look, y'all.

You elect me, I'm gonna plunge
the South into a new era

of stability, prosperity and independence.

Now look, y'all.

I got the blood for this.

Now I'm fixing to need y'all vote.

(upbeat music)

Who is Harry Shumway?

Well, I'm the great, great
grandson of Jefferson Davis,

17th President of the
United States of America.

Think I caught one.

(upbeat music)

See, y'all.

I'm a real family man.

This here is my daddy.

Jerry Shumway.

Hi.

Say Daddy, don't you think I'd make

a good leader of the free world?

Yep, Harry is a good leader.

(upbeat music)

It's too bad maw's not here to see this.

But we can still make her proud.

A vote for me is a vote for the South

and it's a vote for yourself.

I'm just running for governor now, y'all.

But who knows?

Couple years, a little bit of help,

I could be president of
all the south of America.

[Jerry] This week,
Harry will be campaigning

at debate at Darlington.

Come meet him.

I'm real eager to shake y'alls hand.

It'll be nice to meet ya.

(soft music)

Wake up.

Car's packed.

Time to go.

Damn, Ferra.

It's a little early to be
going anywhere, ain't it?

I know where Harry's gon' be tomorrow.

He's doing a debate in Darlington

and I plan to thoroughly
interfere with it.

We're all homeless anyway.

Might as well get to the bottom of this.

As far as accommodations and lodging go,

I'm thinking tonight we stay with my Daddy

'cause I'll be damned if
I'm spending another night

in this goddamn cove.

Oh shit.

Bill Taylor.

No.

Driver of the 55 Cheerwine Car?

I don't know anything about racing.

Oh man, I always wanted to meet him,

but somebody wouldn't never let me

come over when he visited.

That's 'cause you're a cretin

and I'm embarrassed to know you.

Well.

So, crash with Daddy
tonight, do some scheming,

and tomorrow we intercept Harry.

Shotgun.

(soft music)

Dear Lord Christ Almighty,

I want to thank your good
heart for aiding in my journey

and showing me the way to my Harry.

In your ever forgiving name, amen.

[Carther] Hey y'all, pull over.

I wanna get Bill a sack of peaches.

[Ferra] Daddy don't eat fruit.

[Carther] Just pull the fuck over.

Can't go to a Southern man's house

without bringin' him some peaches.

(bright music)

I just don't trust a
man who turns his nose up

at a chicken biscuit like that.

But he tries to eat healthy.

Kale, kale.

I know a guy named Kale, right.

Kale Yarborough.

[Porsche] No, it's very good for you.

It's supposed to cleanse you-

Oh good.

Why don't we drink some bleach
or something or some Comet?

That cleanse ya.

(bright music)

Hey Daddy.

My little Thunderbird.

Look at you.

I didn't know you were coming.

Well I didn't really know
either or I would've told ya.

How you doing, honey?

They get you cleaned up in there?

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

Well, it sure is good to see you.

You need some help with that?

Naw, I got it.

Thank you, daddy.

Porsche, what the hell are you doing here?

I'm just visiting.

Been here a couple weeks now.

Having some troubles at home.

It sure is good having both
my daughters back here.

A couple weeks, huh?

Where's Sammie?

He's at home.

Ain't you gon' introduce me?

Daddy, this is Carther.

This is Kacie.

[Kacie] Hi.

We're rehab sisters.

Dear god.

Kacie, Carther, this
is my daddy Bill Taylor

and my uptight bitch sister Porsche.

[Bill] Howdy.

Pleasure to meet ya.

Sir, it is real nice to
meet a legend like you.

Oh, I don't eat fruit, but
I appreciate the gesture.

Sir, them peaches ain't a gift.

They a trade for high
octane racing stories.

Well I accept this trade.

Oh my word.

Ferrari, is that you?

Hey Suzy.

Come on, give me a hug.

Oh, you are looking so good and healthy.

I want to hear all about your rehab.

You know, Suzy, this is the first time

we've had the whole Taylor family together

since Uncle Ted's funeral
barbecue last May.

Let's break out the cornhole
boards and the china.

I'll start thawing the lemon icebox pie.

(soft music)

Oh.

Do you mind to take those in for me?

[Kacie] Oh sure.

Thank you.

(soft music)

So as we're coming into the final lap,

I'm right behind Kurt and Hank Dallas.

Hanging about 150.

Step four.

His Lunchables car goes spinning.

Me and Hank Dallas got no
time to think, let alone turn.

We both get clipped.

Kurt's car flips and goes fireball.

That's a racing term for when
a car explodes on the track.

Badass.

Me and Hank Dallas
both managed to recover,

but that wreck had evened us out.

So did you win?

Yeah, I won.

I was on the inside so I floored
it past the checkered flag.

Man, you are the coolest
person I've ever met in my life.

So, what's going on with Harry?

I wish I knew where he was.

She's gonna ask him to marry her.

Oh my word.

Ferrari, you're getting married?

There's gon' be wedding?

Oh Bill, Ferrari's getting married.

Shut up, Suzy.

Don't turn this into
some goddamn spectacle.

A girl's got to have a nice wedding.

It's one of two pleasures
she'll ever have in life.

Now we don't want Ferra

to rush something she
ain't thought through.

That's what happened to Porsche.

[Ferra] What do you think about this news?

Nothin'.

You always got a lot of bellyachin'

when it comes to me and Harry.

I'm happy for you.

What is goin' on with you?

I just done some thinking
and Harry ain't bad I guess.

Ow.

What the hell, bitch?

You had a scorpion on you.

[Carther] Ferra, what's
your middle name again?

Thunderbird.

[Carther] Porsche,
what's your middle name?

Mustang.

Since you got your panties all bunched up,

I reckon I can show you the ring.

Oh my god.

It's beautiful.

How can you afford that?

I been saving up.

Yeah, that's what we Taylors do.

We save up.

We don't ask nobody for nothin'.

She stole it from a schizophrenic
grandmother in our ward.

Hey so like your daughter's names, right,

is there a connection between their names

and like cars or something?

You got it.

I wanted to name my four kids
after my four favorite cars,

but I only got two daughters

before my first wife's womb puttered out.

Damn.

Had to double down on the
two daughters the Lord gave me.

Let me pour you some more brandy.

Definitely more.

Thank you.

I am done with this
sparkling water garbage.

Don't be shy.

Ferra, honey, you just got out of rehab.

I know.

I'm better now.

Doesn't work that way, does it?

You might relapse.

When fuckers get out of prison,

they don't just lock 'em back in cages

when they get home, do they?

No.

Give me some goddamn brandy, Suzy.

Suzy, Ferra's a grown woman.

She can put whatever she
wants to into her body.

But.

[Bill] If she wants a
drink, give her a damn drink.

Was that so fucking hard?

Cheers to Suzy.

Whoops, ha ha.

Hey man, so do you ever race anymore

like with your friends?

No, no, no.

Raising children is the ultimate race.

Nothing can match that thrill.

Damn, I got a lot to learn.

(soft music)

I swear to God.

I'm a reincarnated angel.

What the hell does that mean?

We was learnin' all about Jesus in rehab.

I'm God reincarnated, y'all.

Yup, yup.

Learned all about them 12 steps.

I got 12 steps of my own.

Shut up, Kacie.

I got lemon icebox pie.

(screams) God is dead
and screaming inside of me.

Your friend's a feisty one.

She's buckin' like a
rocky mountain bronco.

So, who's gonna suck
on one of God's titties?

Who's it gonna be?

Well shit, I'll take a stab at it.

Oh God.

Come on, let's get you to bed.

Come on, you had a long, hard day.

Get up.

I killed men and I'll kill again.

Can I get some help over here?

What the fuck?

Ferra.

(soft music)

You was crazy last night.

You got something to tell me?

You know those pills that
were in your back pocket?

I stole 'em.

Far as I'm concerned, they was J.D.'s.

I don't know what the hell was in 'em.

They were real good shit.

If you know where we can get some more-

I do not and I wouldn't
go around making a habit

out of trying J.D.'s experiments.

Anyhow, you seem like you fine now.

You ain't mad at me?

Naw.

You an addict.

You bound to pull this kinda
shit from time to time.

It's my job to be your
friend no matter what.

(horn blaring)

Oh, what now?

[Sammie] Porsche.

What's Sammie doing here?

[Sammie] Here's your fucking shit back.

Y'all going through a rough patch?

He's just bringing some of my stuff over.

Here's your fucking shoes.

All right Sammie, that's enough.

Oh well, Porsche thinks
that's enough, y'all.

Sammie, stop it.

Yeah Sammie, why don't
you go on and fuck off?

Sure.

I'd be happy to.

Does Ferra even know what you did?

[Porsche] Yes, she does.

Just leave.

No, I do not.

I come back from a city
planners meeting early

couple months back and
I find Porsche in bed

with your dirty fucking boyfriend.

[Ferra] What?

[Sammie] Yeah, with Harry.

She was fucking Harry.

What the fuck?

Who knows what kind of fucking diseases

you people are spreading around.

You fucked Harry?

I'm sorry.

It's fucking disgusting.

I don't want no part of it.

I'ma cut you down, bitch.

Well, looks like my work here's done.

Have a great life, Porsche.

Looks like it's gonna
be totally incredible.

You fucking fucked my man?

I'm so sorry.

You hated Harry.

[Porsche] It's complicated.

I'm 'bout to complicate your face.

He had a radiant glow.

Fuck you.

I didn't mean to hurt you.

Hey, what's all this yelling?

Four car pile-up.

Looks like Porsche did
the dirty with Harry.

Did you know about this?

It was going on for a while.

Someone get me a knife.

I'm gon' cut my sister's fucking throat.

Bill, what are you doin'
just watchin' from the porch?

[Bill] You just got to let
this kind of thing play out.

Girls.

Girls.

Cut it out.

[Bill] I learned that the hard way.

Stay back, Suzy.

This ain't your battle.

Ow.

I think you sprained my tailbone.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Let me make it up to you.

No, you're the worst
sister anybody ever had.

Just let me explain.

I hate you.

I ain't never talking to you again.

(bright music)

Are you okay?

I just don't know who Harry is anymore.

He sounds like he's a goddamn turd.

He's got a good heart.

He just fucks up a lot.

I don't know.

Hey y'all.

Not trying interrupt nothin'
important or nothing,

but got about 30 minutes
'til the debate starts.

Just tryin' to feel this out.

See if you still wanna go.

It's no good, y'all.

I deserve better than him.

This wedding is off.

You ain't goin' to propose to him.

You're goin' to kick his ass
in front of his constituency.

It would feel good to beat on him a while.

Yup.

[Ferra] Bet he'd regret
what he done to me then.

Exactly.

If you don't show him
some consequences now,

he'll never learn.

Yeah, he stole like $80,000 from me.

Man, I'd like to go fireball on him.

Yeah, real hard.

Y'all really steered me straight.

(bright music)

Shotgun.

Come on.

(bright music)

[Ken] Pulling roller
coasters all over the state.

[Harry] The largest roller
coaster in the United States.

[Ken] That has nothing
to do with anything.

My opponent doesn't
care about governments.

He doesn't care about
social welfare as he claims.

He wants to secede.

He wants to leave the
United States altogether.

[Harry] I never said that, Ken.

Did you or did you not say

that you felt the South should rise again

and that you wanted to
be President of the South

in your latest ad campaign?

Well yeah, I did say that, y'all,

but I was thinking of the South
as a big ole family, y'all.

A family that needs to rally together.

Now if you make me governor now,

then I'll be your
president at a later time.

That's all I'm trying to say.

When you secede from the nation?

Yes.

That is correct.

The government is coming down on us.

We need to secede as soon as possible.

Woo.

[Harry] Thank you.

You do know what secession
means, don't you, Mr. Shumway?

I'm not retarded.

I know we got to get out

from under the big hand of Uncle Sam

what's crashing down on us.

Try to tell us what we can and can't do.

Try to tell us what we can

and can't put in our bodies, y'all.

Oh yes, let us please talk

about your ridiculous
views on drug legalization?

Don't tread on me now, Ken.

I see you over there
trying to quiz me on words

and meanings up on your big
ivy tower looking down at me.

Well let me tell you something.

I'm just a simple,
Southern boy, all right.

Just like my friends
out here from the South.

Think it was just about time

you went back up North where you from.

I'm from Charleston.

I like my shirts sleeveless.

I like my peanuts wet and I
like 'em hot, y'all, all right.

Thank you.

Thank y'all, woo.

Do you see it?

Don't you just wanna follow that man?

He does look good in that suit,

but he sounds like an idiot.

Can we please just have a real discussion

about the real issues
facing our great state?

That's just some gotcha tactics.

That's some gotcha media.

That's gotcha media, y'all.

I am trying to have a reasonable

political discourse with my opponent.

Do you not take any of this seriously?

Oh, I'm dead serious right now, Ken.

That's time, gentlemen.

No.

Both candidates will be
available for a meet and greet.

We need to go back to
the gold standard, y'all.

(audience clapping)

The gold standard.

[Kacie] Step five.

Ferra, this government
stuff's pretty over my head,

so think we're gonna head outside

and get some air really quick,

but save us a piece of Harry.

Whatever.

(bright music) (audience chattering)

Harry.

Harry.

(bright music)

Harry, you piece of shit.

Harry.

(bright music) (audience chattering)

(soft music)

This is some undignified shit, y'all.

I'm tied up in here.

Someone come get me.

Ain't nobody can hear you.

You in the low-country now.

Why y'all gotta tie me up
like this, you motherfuckers?

Carlos's orders.

Can't have you nowhere near Mr. Shumway.

[Ferra] Oh, that's right.

Y'all were the two assholes with J.D.

Don't know no J.D.

I seen you with J.D.

Fine.

Carlos.

Y'all the goddamn hands of
Carlos and you got me bound.

What you gonna do with me?

Nothing.

We just gotta hold 'til the
election comes and goes.

Then we'll let you go.

By then, it'll be too late

for you to interfere
at that point in time.

When is the election?

Two months.

I am not laying on the
floor of this ruinous shithole

for 60 God forsaken days.

You ain't got no choice in the matter.

(soft music)

What y'all know about Carlos?

He's Mr. Shumway's campaign manager.

And his half-brother.

[Ferra] No, he ain't.

Yep, he sure is.

He's the long-lost half
brother of Mr. Shumway.

They say now that they've been reunited,

there ain't nothing that can't be done.

I have known both those
idiots for nearing on 10 years

and they ain't related or special.

You're plainly wrong.

The fact of the matter is,

they inherited New Dixie together.

What does that mean?

Right now it's nothing but 40 acres,

but you give it a year's time

and woo, it'll be something to behold.

Goddamn this shit.

Y'all speaking in riddles.

You're in over your head, ma'am.

(dramatic music)

Looks like we're on our own now.

Well call her again.

I mean, we're about to order.

She's gon' miss out.

She's not answering.

Look, she's got my number.

When she's ready, she'll call.

Good evening, I'm Edgar.

I'll be taking care of you tonight.

I'll be back to take your
orders in a few minutes.

Hey, you got anything
that ain't on the menu?

Yeah, I think so.

Let me check on that.

Sweet.

Thanks.

Man, I am hungry.

Gonna get me some popcorn shrimp.

Guess I'll just try the cheese fries.

Goddamn it.

They only got butterfly shrimp.

Man, is that even gon' be enough?

You two ready?

Yeah, I'm gonna get the cheese fries.

I'll try the butterfly shrimp I guess.

And if you got other needs,

go talk to Dale in the men's room.

He'll hook you up.

Oh hey, wait.

Damn.

Now I'm thinking I should've
got them chicken fingers.

Go check that out, will you?

What?

Oh Dale, in the men's room?

Yeah.

Go see what he's got.

All right.

Step six.

[Carther] Dale.

[Dale] Sh.

Sorry.

How you doing?

I'm Carther Graham.

[Dale] Put it in.

What?

[Dale] Fan it out and put it in.

I ain't never done this before.

[Dale] Come on, motherfucker.

Fan it out?

[Dale] Fan that shit out.

(soft music)

[Carther] Right, hold up, hold up.

(soft music)

Okay, hang on.

[Dale] What the fuck?

Sorry, dude.

That's all I got to work with.

[Dale] Man, why is your dick in the hole?

Ain't I getting a blow job?

[Dale] I'm trying to
sell you drugs, dumbass.

Get your fucking dick out of the hole

and put the money through.

Right, right, sorry.

Hang on, hang on.

(soft music)

All right.

What am I buying again?

[Dale] You're way out of touch, man.

Way out of touch with the
realities of this world.

I'm sorry.

(soft music)

What are these?

[Dale] It's shag, man.

It'll ruin you.

Whoa.

Fresh from New Dixie.

New Dixie?

Paradise on Earth, man.

I'm doing my stint dealing right now.

I can't wait to get back.

Sounds real nice, dude.

Oh, it's better than nice.

In New Dixie, you don't need no car.

You don't need no money.

Don't need nothing.

Everything's taken care of for you.

Paradise on Earth.

So where is it?

Go on.

Get out of here.

All right.

Well, goodbye.

Sorry about earlier.

Take it easy.

Goodbye.

(bright music)

(man whistling)

Hey, got some Bojangles.

Oh, fuck yeah.

I been waiting for that shit.

It's a little cold
'cause the closest place

about 45 minutes but hey,
it's still just as spicy.

What you got for me?

Got you some biscuits and jelly.

No chicken for you.

Fuck you.

Take that jelly and lube up your asshole.

Hey, get a game going on.

Already got 2008 Thanksgiving 2008.

Love that game.

It's legendary.

Kickoff.

Mm hmm.

Uh huh.

And we get the ball.

Yeah, woo.

That's what I'm talking 'bout.

This is a game.

I was there.

It was a good game.

It's pretty good.

(bright music)

She's loose.

(bright music)

I'm taking a shot.

No, no, no, no, no.

(gun firing)

(bright music)

Hey, you know what I think we oughta do?

What?

Think we oughta go to New Dixie.

I think we should break
into some of that shag.

No, no, we gotta keep our heads.

A man don't need no money in New Dixie.

Don't need no car.

Shit, don't need to rent out
his damn house just to survive.

A smart man would still have his house.

Still have his car.

Still have his money.

Look, I wanna go to New Dixie, damn it.

I wanna find that Eden.

Hey, I'm not your keeper.

Go if you'd like.

[Porsche] I thought I heard
some people talking out here.

Hey Porsche.

You wanna get drunk?

Only a little.

Where's Ferra?

We lost her at the debate.

We went back behind a dumpster to bone

where it was nice and cool.

You two are both the nastiest people.

Shit, I ain't no nastier than Harry.

Ugh.

So, you think your husband

will forgive you for what you did?

No, I do not.

Why'd you do it?

Harry was having a good couple of months.

He was talking about going
on the Bass Pro Tour.

He had this vitality to him
that was just contagious

and it just wound up
happening again and again.

He was magnetic.

That's true.

He was having a great season.

'Bout the time I wound up

feeling wrong about it, we got caught.

I guess that was the big problem.

And now everyone hates you.

(soft music)

Lord, I know you got a plan for me,

though I don't know
what it is at this hour.

I am walking in the shadow
of the valley of death.

I know you work in
mysterious dealings, God,

but I do need a light for my path.

In your glorious name.

Amen.

(soft music)

Is anybody in there?

I need to use a phone.

(door squeaking)

Yes.

I need a phone, old man.

You got one?

[Oracle] A dirty woman lost and wandering.

Even just an old phone
with a cord and all?

Or some water?

A thirsty, vile woman walking
on the rim of the very end.

Of course.

It must be you.

The very end of what?

The end of the world?

The end of South Carolina.

What the fuck?

You scared me.

(soft music)

Follow me inside.

(soft music)

Have a seat.

I just need to use the goddamn phone.

You're thirsty.

You have escaped the
tiger and the gamecock

and you come in search of guidance.

Have a seat.

Show me the ring.

How do you know 'bout my
ring and my circumstances?

Your man now contends to run

in the highest echelons of state power

using only his poison charisma.

If he is successful, he
will not only plunge himself

but all of South Carolina
into darkness for eons.

What is wrong with you?

Have you ever deeply inhaled railroad tar

'til the tingle of enlightenment
charges your cortex?

(soft music)

No, I have not.

Begin here.

(soft music)

This smells like butthole.

You need help, old man.

Well, I still have a little meth.

Weed.

Crack.

Shag.

I'm okay.

(soft music)

Aw.

Quick.

While I'm still charged,
let me hold the ring.

It was meant to hold you
together and it may yet still.

I'm gonna be wanting that back.

This ring belonged to another.

Goddamn it, don't lecture me.

But now, it's yours.

That's right.

It is 100% mine now.

I need to go deeper.

(soft music)

Aw.

(soft music)

Oh.

My God.

The path of the ring is not yet completed.

Can we speed this
prophecy up a little bit?

How can you find your beloved?

How can you aid him?

Harry ain't my beloved no more.

He fucked up one too many times.

As we hang out here enjoying tar visions,

we are running out of time.

The foothills of South
Carolina will burn to ashes.

The coastal plains will sink
into the mire and fester.

And Florence will remain
relatively unchanged.

This is a fucking waste of my time.

If we stay on this course,

your beloved will surely perish
at the hand of his enemies.

Harry's gon' die?

There's a shroud of
darkness over his future.

This cannot be foretold for
it can still be altered.

You must talk to him.

He will listen to you.

If all this bullshit
does turn out to be true,

how much time do I have?

(soft music)

The future is smeared like
toad oil on a pane of glass.

These next days may go
down in any number of ways.

What do I got to do?

(dramatic music)

Go North.

North where?

(dramatic music)

Go North to South.

Shit.

(dramatic music)

Go North to South of the Border.

(soft music)

Kacie, it's Ferra.

Are you okay?

You look really fucked up.

I got kidnapped and I've been walking

through the country for a whole day.

So, where are we with you
kicking Harry in the nuts?

It ain't so much me kicking
him in the nuts at this point

as it is me saving his nuts
from the chopping block.

In Mexico somewhere.

What?

I met this old fucker who sniffed tar.

Said Harry's gon' bring
the state of South Carolina

and himself to catastrophe.

That don't sound like nothing
you need to pay no heed to.

Well, it's all I got.

Wait, was he blind?

I reckon so.

Eyes all milky.

Did you meet an oracle?

I don't really know.

You did.

You met an old blind dude
in the middle of nowhere

talking about doom and shit.

What exactly did he tell you to do?

He said I got to go North
to South of the Border.

Mexico.

Yeah, it could be Mexico.

Or it could be South of the Border.

The theme park.

What?

You've never been to
South of the Border on I-95?

No, I have not.

I haven't been there in a long time.

It's the worst place on Earth.

Sounds about right.

Well, let's go.

(upbeat music)

I like those rings.

Are they new?

New to me.

I stole them from the Oracle.

Would you consider him a friend?

[Ferra] What?

No.

You're just on step two.

What's that all about?

[Kacie] What the steps?

Yeah.

They're my 12 steps to total relapse.

You're relapsing?

Yeah.

I do every single time.

It's a cycle I've become
quite comfortable with.

I do the 12 steps to recover,
then I do my 12 steps,

relapse, and go back to rehab.

What are the steps?

Step one is to drink.

Step two is to steal something.

Step three is to steal
something from a friend.

Step four is to do a hard drug.

Step five is to fuck
someone you barely know.

Step six is to use sex as
leverage for more drugs.

Step seven is driving
while drunk and high.

Then the steps just get

progressively dark from eight onward.

I can't believe you done all this before.

(upbeat music)

(singing in foreign language)

I had no idea this place existed.

Yeah, I used to come here as a kid.

It's a dusty bastion of racism

against the Mexican peoples.

You know, I should probably
blame the way I turned out

on my experiences here.

Goddamn it.

El Padre is an asshole.

Well holy shit.

What?

This must be what that
Oracle was telling me about.

That guy?

Yeah, that is Harry's
opponent from the debate.

Ken Fowler.

Well, what's he doing here?

That's exactly what we gon' find out.

(dramatic music)

Hey, think we're almost there?

Que?

Awesome.

(dramatic music)

Woo.

New Dixie.

All right now, line up.

We're gon' get through this quick.

Name.

Hi, Carther Graham.

Weight and height.

Well, see my scale broke,

so I don't know really
what I, my exact weight.

You're a big fella.

I'll just write that down.

You have any special skills?

I can eat the skin of an orange.

Okay.

Yeah, my body can digest it.

It's like my X-man power.

Okay, it's up to you
to fill out this form.

It's an aptitude test.

Some basic math and general
knowledge questions.

Uh oh.

(soft music)

[Enforcer] Name.

[Charles] Charles.

[Enforcer] Weight and height.

Let me talk to Ken.

Mr. Fowler isn't here.

[Ken] Is that El Padre?

No, it's some woman.

What do you want?

An oracle had a vision
and basically told me

that you'd be here trying to kill Harry.

I can't let you do that.

Wait, Harry Shumway?

Yes.

I seen that man you travel with.

Harry is a meek creature what stands

in the way of you and your victory.

You have the motive, Ken.

This is ridiculous.

Hilarious but ridiculous.

Then why in the hell are you

all the way out here
at South of the Border?

I'm here to find Mr.
Shumway's brother Carlos.

J.D.

No Carlos.

(soft music)

Harry's campaign manager is supposedly

his half-brother Carlos Rodriguez,

but he's really Joey Dean Wallace,

son of white collar
criminal Perry Wallace.

Now this is the J.D. that I know.

Joey here is the real engine
behind Harry's campaign.

Now I don't need to tell you this,

but if Harry Shumway becomes
governor of South Carolina,

it will be a huge problem for everyone.

Oh lord yes, it would be
a real goddamn travesty.

Unfortunately, since
Carlos isn't a US citizen,

he doesn't have any paperwork I can use

to prove J.D. stolen an identity.

Ain't you part of the government?

Can't you just use your
wiretaps and all of that

to get his birth certificates
from whatever country has it?

I'm not part of the government yet.

I'm just trying to run for governor.

I don't have a lot of money.

I just wanna help people.

Well help me understand this.

What the fuck are you doing
at South of the Border

when you should be out
chasing down Carlos?

Mm hm.

Carlos's father is a traveling musician.

Gypsy.

He is on a tour of the East coast.

And in light of recent events,
he brought Carlos with him.

What's his name?

Louis Rodriguez also known as El Padre.

And he's here at South of the Border?

Yes, but he won't let anyone see Carlos.

Tricky gypsy.

Come on Kacie, let's go talk to El Padre.

I tried.

I explained everything to
him and he won't budge.

Well, we can sit here
and cry about it all night

in your cheap-ass motor inn
or we can go do something.

Ken, we'll be back with Carlos.

(soft music)

All right, this here
is the sleeping parlor.

We'll assign you jobs tomorrow,

but you can bunk down for now.

Oh man, y'all got real
beds and everything.

Man, I'm beat.

(soft music)

[Enforcer] All right
now, I'm gonna come around

and do some pre-sleep check ins.

(soft music)

What is your state of
mind right now, Carther?

Kinda getting a little scared.

[Enforcer] And what is it you'd most like

to dream of tonight?

Going to the circus.

[Enforcer] Goodnight.

(soft music)

(speaking in foreign language)
(soft music)

(gentle music)

They call you El Padre, huh?

They do.

And you playin' guitar
at South of the Border?

There is something racially
messed up about that.

My manager is aging.

He continues to book me on
the postwar Mariachi tour.

It's all he knows.

Oh my gosh, do you have a mariachi band?

My friend Kacie here and me

are looking for your son Carlos.

Many people have been looking

for Carlos over recent months,
but none have found him.

Well, where is he?

I cannot say.

Look, we got good
intentions and everything.

Carlos could really help us out

and probably save the whole
state of South Carolina

from going straight to hell.

I keep the children of
my love safe and so no.

You may not see Carlos.

Goddamn it, man.

Please.

Go.

Wait.

Will you at least listen to
why she needs to see Carlos?

It's a real sad story.

I will finish this beer
and retire to my van.

You may speak if you wish.

Well, I just got out of
rehab 'bout a week ago.

And unlike some people, I
don't plan to be going back.

Had a mind to propose to my man.

Set my life right.

This looks like someone else's ring.

It was supposed to go
on Harry's little finger,

and we was meant to start a
life of matrimony and happiness.

This Harry.

He is your lover?

That word gives him a lot of credit,

but broadly you could call him that.

Go on.

But before I could propose
or so much as see Harry,

I come to find out he's
swept up in this crazy,

dangerous scheme involving a false Carlos.

I'm just trying to make
sure he gets out alive.

Your heart.

It yearns for this man?

He cheated on me with my sister.

He's cheated on me before.

He's always fucking up.

But this was my sister,

and I'm having a hard time
forgiving him on that.

But you were in rehab, no?

He was missing you.

The closest he could get to you
was the arms of your sister.

I don't know about that.

Do you still love him?

Yes.

Damn it, somehow I still do and
I'm just trying to help him.

I used to travel in the
south and at that time,

I came to love many women physically.

All right.

You have inspired me.

I cannot ignore the need of
two lovers torn apart by fate,

but I do not see how
my Carlos can help you.

We just need Carlos to go back

to the Upstate with us
and set things straight.

Yeah.

Your pleas have touched me,
as I have touched the body

of Ms. Sherry all those years ago.

This is for you.

Why thank you.

Wait here.

Carlos.

(soft music)

You know for a fact he's
gon' be at the Ham House?

I'm positive.

He sends me personal emails

every time he goes someplace new.

That sounds like Harry.

He likes to keep everyone in the loop.

See you there.

Why don't we just take
Carlos straight to the media?

Ken, dammit.

If you go to the TV with this shit,

it's gon' blow over in two days.

And the people that know J.D.

probably won't even believe it.

What you gotta do is
disintegrate his constituency

from the inside out.

Your plan is very risky

and some parts still don't
make any sense to me.

Trust me.

This is all gonna flush out.

Just don't fuck it up.

We gotta go.

The police don't like step eight.

Good Lord.

(soft music)

Keep Carlos safe.

(sirens blaring)

(bright music)

What's going on?

I'm afraid.

You have been summoned by Carlos.

(suspenseful music)

Damn, man.

J.D., what's up, man?

Carther, good to see you.

Take a seat.

(soft music)

You gotta start calling
me Carlos around here.

Gon' get yourself into trouble.

Okay.

So hey, you're in New Dixie, too, huh.

New Dixie is mine.

(soft music)

Oh.

Man, you got your own paradise here.

Saw your name on the aptitude tests.

Thought we should have a little talk.

Hell yeah.

Now, do you like what I have

going on over here at New Dixie?

Yeah, man.

It's fully loaded.

I'm been getting to know some of the guys.

Hey last night, I dreamed
about what I wanted to.

Good.

You see, Carther, New
Dixie is a perfect society.

Everyone collaborates
according to their aptitudes.

Okay, well how'd I do
on that aptitude test?

Oh, you did real shitty.

Damn.

However, I believe I found a spot for you

within in our transport division.

Great, man.

However, you have to do
one little thing for me

before I can let you do that.

(soft music)

Tell me where Ferra is.

Shit, man.

I ain't seen Ferra in a hot minute.

Now, is that true?

Because I recall you coming
into the debate with her.

I seen it.

Now, you gotta be honest with me.

Do you know where she is now?

Has she contacted you?

No, man.

She just kinda disappeared.

(soft music)

Then why are you here, Carther?

Well see, I heard about New Dixie

from a guy at a glory
hole and I just, you know,

kinda came looking for
it all by my lonesome.

I don't think I believe you.

Man, I swear to god.

Don't you wanna help out
the transport division?

Don't you wanna get to
drive the big truck?

Oh, man.

More than anything.

Then tell me the truth.

Man, I already told you the truth.

Shit, there ain't no more truth to tell.

(bell ringing)

(soft music)

Sir?

Would you please escort Mr.
Graham to the Traitor Cage.

[Enforcer] Right away.

Traitor?

Man, J.D.

Come on, man, this ain't right.

I'm trying as hard as I can.

Think real hard while you're in there.

(soft music)

So Candidate Shumway,
what is your favorite food

here at the Ham House?

Well, you know the scrambled
eggs are pretty good,

but in my book, I'd say
the ham gets the gold.

Ha ha, very nice.

So Candidate Shumway, if
you are elected governor

to the state of South Carolina,

are you prepared to make
ham the official food

of South Carolina as well?

Well that's an interesting question.

That is an interesting question.

Yeah, I probably would.

You ask some great questions
on your show here, ma'am.

Thank you very much.

Let's hear it, ladies and gentlemen,

for candidate Harry Shumway.

[Crowd] Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

[Ferra] Harry.

[Crowd] Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

[Crowd] Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Will you marry me?

[Crowd] Harry.

(soft music)

Will.

You.

Marry me?

[Harry] Ferrari Thunderbird
Taylor, is that you, girl?

Yeah, baby, it's me.

[Brent] We apologize.

[Caleb] Let's get her out
of your way, Mr. Shumway.

No, boys.

This here's my girl, Ferra.

(soft music)

Shit, that sure is a
pretty piece of jewelry.

Well, what do you say, Candidate Shumway?

Will you marry this woman?

This is the happiest day of my life.

And I say hell yes.

(soft music)

[Crowd] Aw.

Ah say baby, aren't you
supposed to be in rehab right now?

Nope.

Been out for a few days.

Well all right.

Check it out, y'all.

This here is the first lady of the South.

Miss Ferra Shumway.

(crowd cheering)

In a rousing turn of events,

South Carolina governor
frontrunner Harry Shumway

has just become engaged
to the love of his life.

And we were here to see it all.

(bright music)

What's she doing in there?

I think she just got
engaged to Mr. Shumway.

Oh damn.

That was not part of her plan.

I don't see J.D.

Shit.

We've gotta abort.

Let's just bring Carlos out right now.

No, now is not the time.

Did you hear?

J.D. is actually my long
lost brother Carlos.

Ain't that wild?

That's what I need to talk with you about.

Yeah girl, I gotta talk to you, too.

I've had a crazy couple of months, man.

I had the bass pro tour, the campaign.

I don't even know where to begin.

J.D. ain't the real Carlos.

He's lying to your face.

Don't be retarded, baby.

I know it's true.

He gave me a memento of our childhood.

That is a photo of two strange babies.

They look just like us.

I'm going to show you
the real Carlos, damn it.

Time to go, Mr. Shumway.

You're needed in New Dixie.

All right girl, you gotta see this limo.

I don't know if that's a good idea, sir.

Maybe she should ride with us.

I don't think that's necessary.

Now that Ferra's out,
she'll be my protection.

Baby, you are gonna love New Dixie.

What the fuck is that?

It's just a little slice of
heaven right here on Earth.

[Man 1] Shumway.

[Man 2] Shumway.

[Man 1] I got one question for you.

[Man] 2] Shumway wait.

(dramatic music)

Well now what?

Who knows where the hell they're going?

(dramatic music)

Damn.

(phone ringing)

Hey, Kacie.

It's Ferra.

[Harry] Oh shit, baby, we made it.

Are we going out to your maw's property

up by the North Carolina border?

Yeah baby, that's New Dixie.

Oh okay.

Why you yellin'?

[Ferra] You dropped your phone, Harry.

Thank you.

(dramatic music)

Glad you finally made it, baby.

Let me show you around.

(dramatic music)

Welcome to New Dixie.

Where in the fuck are we?

Baby, we got everything you need.

That right there is the bar.

Got a strawberry patch
over there under that tree.

Got a well over yonder.

(gun firing)

(horn blaring)

Must be two o'clock.

This here is Pa.

He's the historian.

[Ferra] That's a goddamn shame.

That's my tent over there.

I believe that.

I'll show you around later.

You know what I'm saying?

Got the love pit over here.

I don't even want to know what goes on

inside a place like that.

It's mostly recreational.

How's it going there, boys?

Hey, Mr. President.

How are you, sir?

How you doing, Mr. President?

Doing well, doing well.

This over here is the power company.

Gotta couple wires coming
out that car battery.

We can get anything started over there.

Some nights I like to lay out,

plug in my Game Boy color and
just play some Pokemon, man.

[Ferra] Harry, who are all these people?

[Harry] Well, these are
my confederates, baby.

We gonna need a lot of manpower

when we secede from the union.

It's probably gonna piss
those fucking Yankees off.

[Ferra] Right.

It's beautiful, baby.

Brings a tear to my eye to
look upon this splendor.

It really is something.

What's all this about?

Well that's the main hall, baby.

This is the place.

This is the heart of New Dixie.

We got everything you need.

We got literature.

We got paint.

We got games.

We got oils.

We got air bud over here.

We even got some local art.

And we just put that out,

so if you got a minute, check it out.

Harry, this looks like
a bunch of half wits

made a doomsday shelter.

Well.

Just pulled that foosball
table up out of a dumpster.

Shit's real popular.

We got a new cook, too,

so the food here is a
lot better than it was.

[Ferra] What's your face
doing all over the walls?

I'm sort of a symbol of
authority around these parts.

Harry Shumway, president.

How's it going today, Phil?

Good, Mr. President.

Good to see you.

(machine whirring)

Oh shit, we caught a traitor.

What?

[Harry] Damn.

It's Carther.

Help me, y'all.

I'm thirsty.

I'm sick of being in this damn cage.

Well shit, man, I'll go
talk to Carlos right now.

We'll get you out of there.

It was Carlos that put me in here.

I wanna go home to my home.

Harry, give me my money back.

Carther, that was an angel investment.

You don't get that back, dude.

You son of a bitch.

I'm gonna go fireball on you.

Fuck it.

Too weak.

Once I win this election,

I'ma get you a big ole
house in Charleston.

You know I don't never
forget no good deed.

Man, I hate you.

Don't be that way, man.

Ferra.

Ferra, help me.

This is your own fault in so many ways.

Let's go get us some grub.

That ham didn't hold me long.

Goddamn it, y'all.

Get me out of here.

(soft music)

So what you think, baby?

I know New Dixie has a little
ways to go and everything,

but pretty soon this is gonna be

a little southern Shangri-La.

You talking a whole lot
about these ideals, Harry,

but I really don't think you know

what the fuck it is you're saying.

My maw was the great
granddaughter of Jefferson Davis,

so his blood flowing in
my and my brother's veins.

So what?

So we gotta respect his legacy.

It's what maw would've wanted.

That's why we got to do it.

You are making Jeff Davis out to be

some type of confederate martyr.

Yeah, 'cause he kind of is.

[Ferra] No, he isn't.

Yes, he is.

[Ferra] No, he is not.

Yes, he is so, Ferra.

No, goddamn it, Harry.

If you had done the
smallest amount of research

on your so-called Confederate Hero

before you jumped into things,

you wouldn't find yourself
in such a dumb situation.

And what exactly does that mean?

You got a slew of anti
government dumb fucks

running around out there
doing free labor for you

under the banner of the confederate flag.

That's about heritage not hate.

They took that shit down.

They took it down.

We're keeping it up.

Oh my God.

Here you go, Mr. President.

Oh that looks healthy.

[Ferra] Damien?

Hey Ferra.

What the fuck are you doing in New Dixie?

I got tired of tending bar,

so Carlos gave me a job down
here as a mess hall chef.

Why do all y'all people believe this shit?

Everybody needs a family, I guess.

(soft music)

Well, well, well.

Ferrari.

I reckon you don't listen too good

'cause I recall telling you to stay away.

Oh, I make a habit
out of disobeying orders

from lying sacks of dog shit.

Come on, let's go.

Gonna put you in the cage with Carther,

so I can sort out what to do with you.

Carlos, man, Ferra just got out of rehab.

And guess what?

She just asked me to wed
her in holy matrimony.

Check this shit out.

Even got a ring and everything.

It's white gold.

Come on, let's go.

Keep your hands off me.

Brother, don't you realize this woman

has secret intentions of taking
down what we built together.

Naw, man.

There's no way.

You just gon' let this
woman run all over you?

She's my fiance.

Fine.

Sleep tight, Ferrari.

Come on, boys.

(dramatic music)

Hey, what's in all them boxes?

Oh, I don't know.

It's something Carlos is working on.

You know baby, I been
spendin' a lot of time

on the campaign trail.

You ain't even curious?

[Harry] Everybody's gotta
have their projects, baby.

But J.D.'s projects
historically spell trouble.

He's my brother and I trust him.

He is not your brother.

Don't be stupid.

(bright music)

Uh uh.

Come on, baby.

Honeymoon.

I got a legal erection right now.

[Ferra] Put your fuckin' pants back on.

Are you serious?

I can't believe you.

(bright music)

What's the problem, girl?

You fucked my sister while I was in rehab.

Oh shit.

Yeah, that did happen.

Well I can't just get
over that like magic.

Well it didn't mean anything, baby.

Look, I was having a
real enlightened frame

of mind at that time.

So I've heard.

Plus, baby, you weren't exactly around.

After you went to rehab, I was all alone.

Well, you could've come visited me.

It's not like it was a prison.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

Shit.

Well I thought I was all alone anyways.

That's when I took a couple days.

Went out on the boat Lake Jocassee.

I caught more fish than I could eat, baby.

That's when I realized it
was my calling to fish.

That's when I had to
join the bass pro tour.

And then you fucked Porsche.

Well yeah.

Right.

Baby, you don't understand.

I was catching a lot of fish.

Like I was catching so much fish

that it got my libido up through the roof.

I just had to take that out on something

and your sister was the
closest thing around.

Goddamn it, Harry.

You must still have that charisma,

'cause I just can't stay mad at ya.

Hey, come check this out.

[Ferra] What is it?

This is my Constitution.

I wrote it myself.

It looks like it was wrote
by a granddaddy long legs.

Well it done been ratified, baby.

Hey, what'd you end up
doing with all them fish?

Oh Lord, those fish stank
that trailer up something awful

even after I moved most of
them out so I had to leave.

That's when I went to stay with Maw.

Say you want to do some
nasty shit tonight?

All right.

Oh yeah.

(soft music)

Brent, wake up.

(dramatic music)

[Brent] Get back here.

I swear, I'm gonna kill you.

(dramatic music)

Ferra?

(dramatic music)

Oh, hey there, boys.

How y'all doing tonight?

Oh we good.

Nothing's going on.

They tried to kill me, Harry.

[Brent] No sir, that's a lie.

Fuck y'all.

Hey, let's all just take
it down a couple notches.

We had a stressful day

and the energy's just
running a little bit high.

Y'all have a good night.

They tried to fucking kill me, Harry.

It was probably just a bad dream.

Let's just go back to sleep
and not talk about it again.

(dramatic music)

[Enforcer] Carlos.

What, man?

Sorry, Mr. President for the interruption.

There are intruders
approaching the main hall.

(dramatic music)

I wonder who's intruding, J.D.

I wonder who it is.

(dramatic music)

Carlos, is that you?

What the hell is this shit?

What are you doing here, Ken?

Introducing these folks to
the real Carlos Rodriguez.

What the hell?

Obviously this is just a fucking
trick that Ken is playing

because Harry is beating him at the polls.

Ain't a trick, J.D.

Yeah, they look a lot alike.

That's a nice mustache you got.

Gracias.

[Jerry] What the fuck's goin' on, y'all?

As far as I can tell this
whole clusterfuck started

when Harry's mama Ms. Sherry died

from carbon monoxide
poisoning on her farm.

Now undoubtedly she had some sort

of legally unsound will
floating around that place

bequeathing her only asset,
that farm, to her children.

Now for a long time I'd have
told you that was just Harry,

but there's another brother.

A lost brother from a brief,

but heated tryst Ms. Sherry shared

with Louis Rodriquez, El Padre,

traveling Mexican folk
singer and serial father.

This baby was christened
Carlos, and by blood,

he was destined to inherit half that farm.

That's me.

I'm Carlos.

Now Harry took it real
bad when his mama died.

He probably dealt with it by drinking.

By giving up on his fledglin' dreams

of becoming a bass pro fisherman.

Maybe he needed some narcotics

and that is when he met up
with Joey Dean Wallace, J.D.

Now Harry can keep a secret
'bout as good as a parrot

that knows the words to that
secret and nothing else,

so no doubt he told J.D.
all about his mama passing

and how he's looking for
his lost brother Carlos.

Being the cocksucking liar that he is,

J.D. saw an opportunity
there to pose as Carlos

and claim half of Harry's land.

What the hell?

They did look a lot alike.

It was a risk, but he was
willing to take that risk

'cause he needed some out of the way land

to cook his horrible shag on
away from the eyes of the law.

That's right.

But J.D. wasn't done.

He wanted to maximize his profit

and in order to do that,
he needed free labor.

So he made up this whole
political sham of a campaign

to draw out the dregs of society.

That's y'all.

Out here into the middle
of the fucking woods

to help him cook up his poison.

He used Harry's natural
charisma to gain a following.

That is what the fuck is going on here.

That is what the fuck is happening.

You know, I was skeptical
a couple minutes ago.

Now I reckon you're probably right.

This was a mystery the whole time

and you didn't even know it.

I got played.

What the hell, man?

J.D., you can't come
between a man and woman

and not expect shit like
this to get revealed.

This is just a big pile of lies.

A bunch of bullshit.

A bunch of goddamn bullshit.

Brent, Caleb.

Take these treasonous
motherfuckers out of my sight.

Uh uh.

Mm mm.

Uh uh.

(soft music)

What are you doing?

I said take these motherfuckers
to the Traitor Cage.

We believed in secession

and then you strung us along
like some kinda puppet.

We believed in a confederation
built upon tradition

and humility where all of
the aspects of humanity

are risen to their pinnacles respectively.

I am Carlos.

No.

I am Carlos.

(dramatic music)

Oh hell no.

(dramatic music)

(man screaming)

(dramatic music)

(soft music)

[Harry] Damn girl,
you got him pretty good.

I know.

Shit.

Well Carlos, I guess
it's gon' be you and me

running this place from now on.

No.

This has got to stop.

I am not marrying some insane
secessionist cult leader.

It does sort of have that
quality to it, don't it?

It does.

(soft music)

Well, y'all.

I guess all good things
gotta come to an end, right?

Y'all gotta get back to y'all lives.

I'm shutting down this campaign

and I'm shutting down New Dixie.

If y'all wanna cast your vote,

cast your vote for Mr.
Ken Fowler, my friend.

I don't agree with all his policies,

but I think he'll do a good
job and he's got a good heart.

Thank you.

Also, for anyone
involved in the manufacture

or distribution of illegal narcotics,

well, we don't gotta let anybody
know about that, all right?

(soft music)

You done a good thing, Harry.

Proud of ya.

Yeah.

I sure am gonna miss this place.

(soft music)

You know, I don't think we
can stay at my maw's house.

That thing's still full
of carbon monoxide.

I guess we can't.

Shit, that's a problem.

[Kacie] Come on, y'all.

Shotgun.

[Harry] Damn, girl.

[Ferra] Dear God, thank
you for your divine guidance

through this hard time.

I asked for strength,
Lord, and you gave it.

I asked for signs,
Lord, and you gave them.

I do wish the signs had
been a little better,

but you a busy man.

I get it.

Maybe next time.

In Jesus name I pray, amen.

(soft music)

I.

Am.

Carlos.

(soft music)

You wanna come in for a nightcap?

Naw, I'm headed out, guys.

Where you going?

Getting on to the last
few steps in the relapse,

and I don't like to do those around people

that I care about.

Yeah, well.

You better take off then.

I got to thank you, Ferra.

This is the best relapse I ever had.

I'll look you up next
time I get out of rehab.

All right, Kacie, you
take care of yourself now.

She sure is a nice lady.

(soft music)

Damn girl.

That dress is getting me hard.

What you say we cross that threshold?

(soft music)

All right.

[Ferra] Ooh wee.

[Harry] Oh yeah, baby.

Yeah, baby.

Hey, I think I got some of
that old KY in the bathroom.

[Ferra] Woo woo.

Shoot, let's do bareback tonight.

Who the hell are you?

What the hell are you doing in my house?

Goddamn it, is that Darlene?

Darlene, what the fuck
are you doing in my house?

Is that a fucking baby?

Did you have a fucking baby in my house?

His name is Cooter and he's adopted.

Take your stupid baby
and get the fuck out.

I found it.
It's mine.

[Ferra] Get the fuck out of my house

for the last time, Darlene.

Yeah, you got to go.

We're trying to consummate our marriage.

I found it.

I'ma count to three and
then I'm gon' kill you.

I'm gon' call the cops.

[Ferra] Call 'em.

The documented owner of this trailer

is standing right in front of you.

Oh yeah, that's right.

I do own this trailer.

I found it.

Squatter's rights.

One.

Two.

Three.

Fine, I'm leaving.

Just let me.

Just let me you know
collect all my things.

Get the fuck out, Darlene.

I'm going.

Jesus, what the hell?

So, that was Darlene.

Darlene

My darling, Darlene

Nobody wants to hangout with a gamecock.

You might win but you're mean.

Uh huh.

Clemson.

How many tigers are in
the south, dumb ass?

It's gorgeous in-

No, no.

How many teams are tigers, huh?

Huh?

Exactly.

Can't be original.

Gotta come up with what
everybody else has.

Gamecocks, that's like-

Yeah, a fine rooster.

That's like el diabolo, all right.

It's like a fucking fighting chicken

with his like talents and shit.

Yeah, a chicken.

It's a chicken.

It's a fucking chicken.

It's a chicken.

You know what I do to chicken?

You know what I do to chicken?

I fucking eat it.

[Woman] Yes, sir.

Hey Mr. Yankee Fowler,
how come you suck so much?

I am just trying to help you to help you.

To help everybody in our state.

I would have to disagree
that I suck I guess.

Dammit.

Nice.

Shack.

I thought y'all we're good.

No.

[Woman] Yes, sir.

[Audience Member] Mr.
Shumway, are you racist?

I'm definitely not.

Definitely not racist.

[Audience Member] That's
what the confederacy means.

Yeah, that was just a different time.

That was like a different culture is all.

A way life is what it was.

Peacefully.

With force if necessary.

That's like French.

Plumage.

Plumage.

It has to do with feathers
when you attract mates.

My grand daddy told I had plumage, okay.

Can we watch the game?

Thank you.

Your grand daddy told you-

My grand daddy said I had plumage.

I don't know if I'd tell
that in public or not.

Well.

That's sound advice.

Guys.

Help me, I'm stuck.

Hello.

J.D.

Carlos.

Ferra.