Go West Young Man (1936) - full transcript

MAVIS:
♪ Have you ever seen stars

♪ On a typical tropical night?

♪ Have you ever seen stars

♪ That would dance While guitars

♪ Would invite

♪ Romance in the night?

♪ Have you ever been kissed

♪ On a typical tropical night?

♪ Have you ever been kissed

♪ While two arms that insist

♪ Hold you tight?



♪ What a thrilling night ♪

(MEN VOCALISING)

♪ In the dark a sigh is heard ♪

(MEN VOCALISING)

♪ Love needs no light

♪ You can never say no

♪ On a typical tropical night

♪ You can never say no

♪ Cos your heart tells you so

♪ And you're right ♪

(CHEERING)

Always you think of her.

I will not let this Americano woman
take you away from me.

You mean more to me
than anything in the world.



I've hardly known you
but an hour.

You may kiss my hand.

And, tomorrow,
perhaps you may kiss me.

Until tomorrow.

A millionaire planter
and an embassy officer.

Zara, you're doing
pretty good for yourself.

I thought I told you to leave that key
the last time you were here.

You do not think you can
discard Rico so easily, do you?

Well, if necessary,
I'll have to do it the hard way.

Rico, you're through,
through as an old tomato can.

Oh, that is it, huh?

Well, I am not going to give you up,
now or ever.

Don't be stupid.
If you'll take my advice,

you'll go back to your wife,
while you're still in good condition.

Ah, that is fine advice after you
have spoiled me for all the other women.

You were spoiled when I got you.

Women have pampered you
all your life.

Rico, you're no good.

Besides you've lied to me.
You said you were single

and I loathe liars.

No man can support a Wife and me
at the same time.

Someone's gonna get the short end
of the deal. And, honey, it's never me.

Well, where is that man,
that... that officer?

Why, he left.
He had to leave sometime.

Oh, you sent him away?

No, he left under his own power.

- Look at me!
- Don't louse me up.

Give me a light.

- Isn't she wonderful?
- Uh-huh.

Listen, Rico,
where I come from,

they call this pulling a fast one on ya,
givin' you the business.

Why don't you make yourself scarce?
Cos I'm betterin' myself.

Very well, Chiquita.

Let us make an end,
an end for the two of us.

Why, what do you mean?

If I cannot hold you in my arms any longer,
no-one else will ever get the chance.

Well, why don't you shoot?

Oh, you can't do it.

You know you can't.

Oh, what am I doing?
What am I doing?

That's what I'm trying
to figure out.

Oh, my darling, I love you!
I love you.

Zara, who is this?
Who is this man?

Why, I've never seen the man before
in all my life!

- Why, Zara...
- Get outta here!

Very well, I will go.

Let me tell you something.

She will do the same thing to you
as she has done to me.

Get out!

Zara, what was that man
doing here?

Philip, Philip, darling, I...

You haven't answered me.

Why did you come?
I told you...

I love you.
How can you expect me to stay away?

Day after day I waited for you
and when you didn't come, I...

Zara... Zara, darling,
why do you stare at me like that?

Surely, this man hasn't...

Zara...

It's true, Philip.

I don't ask forgiveness.
I'm not worthy of it.

But when you're gone,

remember me kindly sometimes
for just a brief moment

when April comes around again,
with its blue skies and sudden showers.

Remember that April woman
who drifted into your life

as casually as a summer cloud
drifts over a green field

and then drifts on again.

Now go, Philip, go!

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have persuaded one of the most
glamorous personalities of the screen

to come here, so that you,
in the spirit that is characteristic of you,

may pay tribute in person to what you have
heretofore only seen on the screen.

I have the honour
and the distinct pleasure

of presenting the reigning queen
of the cinema, Miss Mavis Arden.

"And remember me kindly
for just a brief moment

"when April comes around again,
with its blue skies and sudden showers.

"Remember that April woman
who drifted into your life

"as casually as a summer cloud
drifts over a green field

"and then drifts on again."

And that, my dear friends,
was the Drifting Lady.

But it was not, please believe me,
it was not the real Mavis Arden.

I often say to my producer,

Mr A.K. Greenfield, president
of Superfine Pictures, Incorporated.

"A.K.," I say.
I always call him "A.K."

I says to him, I say,
"A.K., please,

"oh, please, let me play a part
that expresses the real me,

"a simple, unaffected country girl

"who finds her happiness
in a garden and a swimming pool."

But Mr Greenfield always says,

"No, no, Mavis,
you are a great artiste

"and it wouldn't be fair
to deprive the world of your genius."

So that is why I play these fascinating
sirens you seem to like to see.

But, oh, I am such
a different person, really.

Beneath all this glitter,

Mavis Arden is a very human person,
like yourselves.

If you, my dear public,
could only come up and see me

in my little Aye-talian villa
in Hollywood,

I'm sure you'd be disappointed
in the dullness and simplicity

of my life there.

I know it's cruel
to disillusion you this way,

but I have to be honest,
and you must take it in the right spirit.

And now, my dear friends, I want
to thank you for your kind appreciation

and accept through me the thanks
of my dear producer, A.K. Greenfield,

president of Superfine Pictures,
Incorporated, great fella.

And now, my dear friends,
I want to say good night,

a thousand good nights.

And tell all your friends
I said, "Good night."

Sorry, gentlemen, but Miss Arden
cannot see all of you.

Her time will not permit.

You may go in, my friend,
and you and you...

Why all those old guys?

Why not some
of those good-looking ones?

It's part of my contract,
young fella.

Miss Arden isn't supposed
to marry for five years.

Why make the job tough for her?
Okay, you, sir.

- I'm sorry, but Miss Arden...
- I'm Francis X Harrigan.

- Oh, that's too bad.
- I beg your pardon?

Oh, we handle Miss Arden's
admirers alphabetically.

- I'm just now getting into the BS.
- Rather a novel idea. I'll wait.

Well, er... thanks.
That's fine.

You were a big hit tonight,
Miss Arden.

Yes, there was a great crowd out there.

Full of politicians.

I felt I was putting a bill
before Congress.

(CODED KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Let him in.

I just heard from A.K.,
your dear producer.

What have I done now?
What's he sore about?

Nothing. And, incidentally,
I've never noticed his being sore at you.

Well, perhaps that's why he's the producer
and you're just the press agent.

- You mean I'm practically your slave.
- You are not.

Slaves are generally useful.

Your next personal appearance
at Harrisburg ends the tour.

Then back to Hollywood.
Back to your "Aye-talian villa".

I tell you at every performance,
it's "Italian".

If they can't spell it, how do you
expect me to pronounce it?

We'll be leaving for Harrisburg
in an hour.

You'd better hurry
with your packing, Jeannette.

- The car will be right down at the stage...
- MAVIS: Oh, no, we're not!

I'm going out tonight
with a friend of mine.

- MORGAN: With whom?
- Harrigan. He's running for Congress.

I haven't seen him
since I played Chicago with the Follies.

Oh, no, you don't.

Now, wait a minute.

Every time I make a date we're either
leaving town, or rehearsing or somethin'.

- Jeanette, get me my black gown.
- Yes, Miss.

My job is to keep you as stainless as a lily,
and I don't mean a tiger lily either.

- This one, Miss?
- Yes.

Oh, but why don't you wear
that white gown?

I said the black one.

I think you're lovely
in that white one.

Now listen, when I say...

Oh, I am, huh?

All right, the white one.

Where are you going
with that ward heeler?

To the Palace Roof,
and don't you be 8 heel.

Don't worry,
we won't even be seen.

I'll get a private dinin' room
or somethin'.

And I say you won't.

I'm running this show
and I'm running it till the tour is over.

You're not going to hand me
the same bill of goods

you handed your last manager.

- What are you gonna do about it?
- Phone Greenfield.

Tell him what I think about you.
And if you don't think I'll tell him...

Hello?
Get me Hollywood, California.

Granite, 3-200.
Mr Greenfield.

You're a great star
and can't risk a scandal.

Your private life
has got to be an open book.

It is. I'm just looking
for someone to read it.

Hello?

Hello, Mr... Mr Greenfield?

This is Morgan, A.K.
I'm in Washington.

Listen, I've got some
bad news for you.

Your favourite star is about to step out
with some politician here.

I've tried to keep her out
of the limelight with men.

If she doesn't do what I tell her,
you'll cancel her contract.

That right?

Right. Don't think I won't.

- Right.
- Right-hand man, huh?

Right?

Right. Right.

Say, I could have you fired
like that.

Well, if that's the way you feel about it,
why don't you?

I don't know.

I talked it over with myself last night
and we both went to sleep.

Say, haven't you got some letters
to write or somethin'?

Good idea.

A little wire to A.K.
wouldn't hurt a bit.

Do that.
It'll keep you amused.

(DOOR SLAMMING)

I could like that guy
if he wasn't so hard to get along with.

Palace?
The maître d', please.

Yes, thanks.

Mavis, this is a positive thrill.

I always say, "A thrill a day
keeps the chill away."

(CHUCKLING)

Hello.
Yes, this is Francis X Harrigan.

I would like a quiet little table
on the roof for tonight. Just two.

And alone, you know, seclusive.

Some place
where we'll be alone.

Hello, hello, Amalgamated Press?
Well, listen.

Mavis Arden is the guest of nominee
Harrigan at the Palace Roof tonight.

The press is invited.

Hello, Operator.

And the reportorial staff
of the Union News Service is invited.

Palace Roof.

Okay, we'll cover the story.

Hello, Paramount News?
Oh, here's a hot one for you.

Mavis Arden, the movie star,
and Francis X Harrigan

are inviting the press to meet them
at the Palace Roof tonight.

You ought to get
some great pictures.

Well, I'll say one thing
for these stars,

they're not under contract and they can
stay out as long as they want.

It's great to be with you again,
Mavis, darling.

I haven't had much time for romance
since I last saw you.

I've devoted myself
entirely to my career.

So have I.

But, sometimes, I do hear the call
of the irresistible.

Don't you?

Yes, but in two hours, you'll be
on your way to Harrisburg,

going out of my life again.

But that's in two hours from now.

(CHUCKLING)

(TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

Something seems to tell me
I'll be going to Harrisburg.

Phone me before you leave.
I'll be stopping at the Penn Harris Hotel.

- You know, darling...
- I know nothing. You tell me.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

- That's fine.
- JOURNALIST: Now, will you give us one

-with your arms around Miss Arden?
- What is this? What is this? Did you...

No. Did you?

How about a story
for my paper?

How long have you known
Mr Harrigan, Miss Arden?

When is it going to happen,
Miss Arden?

"Happen"?
Why, nothing's gonna happen.

Mr Harrigan and I are friends,
just friends.

- Aren't we, honey, er... Mr Harrigan?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure.

I was just recalling
the time in Chicago...

Well, I don't really believe the public
would be interested in that, Miss Arden.

What?
Not interested in politics?

Oh, now, Miss Arden,
I was only jesting.

- Say, give us a break, will you, fella?
- Okay.

Have you any particular platform,
Miss Arden?

Well, the one I act on.

(ALL LAUGHING)

Well, haven't you any political views?

Well, let me see. I, er...

MORGAN:
Why, of course, you have, Mavis.

Tell them the one
about more marriages.

You know, tell 'em that one.

Mmm... Just a mouse
studying to be a rat.

JOURNALIST #1:
What a platform.

JOURNALIST #2:
Marriages? Sure, let's have it.

JOURNALIST #3:
Yeah, tell us the whole story, Ms Arden.

Don't crowd me, boys,
don't crowd me.

What I think the country needs
is more marriages, more happy homes.

Look at the millions of lovely girls
wasting their lives

in factories, shops,
offices and restaurants,

just because millions of men
can't afford to marry them.

When April comes around again
with its blue skies and...

What's gonna become of the country?

Yeah, but what can be done
about it, Miss Arden?

The state should make it possible
for them to marry,

endow matrimony the same
as we endow hospitals and colleges,

give every unmarried girl
a dowry

and provide every young couple
with a home, furniture, radio

and Aye-talian villa.

And a baby grand?

Well, that depends
whether you can play or not.

Well, but, Miss Arden,
I don't think that...

I'm sorry. You take him, boys,
he knows his campaign better than I do.

Pardon me, boys.

All right.
See you later, boys.

Is that gonna be your campaign,
Mr Harrigan?

- Do you agree with Miss Arden?
- Well, I... I...

Mr Harrigan, can we quote you
in connection with Miss Arden's statement?

Well, of course,
I think that...

Well, as my constituents
have so often said, I feel that I...

(GLASS SHATTERING)

Laugh that off.

I, er...

I hope the interview
was satisfactory, gentlemen.

HARRIGAN:
"Mavis Arden advocates

"increased matrimony,
Francis X Harrigan endorses her views."

People will think
I've gone crazy.

"Hollywood and Washington
unite in launching new campaign."

Great grief.

And then these pictures of us
taken together. I'm ruined.

Cummings, I want you to take
a letter of protest at once.

- Er... send it to all the newspapers.
- Yes, sir.

Now, let me see, er...

To the editor.
"Dear Sir, in the interest of justice

"I must protest against
the misleading statements

"that have been printed
about Miss Mavis Arden and myself."

Why, Francis, you old fox.

What do you mean, "old fox"?

I suppose you have seen the papers
about you and Miss Arden?

I certainly have.
I suppose everybody has seen the papers.

And if you think you can come here
and gloat over me, Andy Kelton...

What do you mean,
"gloat over you"?

I suppose you're going
to try and pretend

that you didn't realise
what you were doing.

But you can't fool me.

It's the cleverest political move
you ever made, Francis X Harrigan.

Cleverest?

Why, the old maid
schoolteachers' vote alone

is enough to swing
a presidential election.

- Oh. Well, of course, I...
- And with Mavis Arden behind you

with her national reputation,
why, say...

Well, I... I'm glad you approve
of my little plan, Andy...

Excuse me, sir.

If you want this letter to the newspapers
to get off in the next mail...

Never mind that letter.
Cancel the letter.

- Have my bags packed right away.
- CUMMINGS: Yes, sir.

And remind me to call
the Penn Harris Hotel at eight o'clock.

- CUMMINGS: Yes, sir.
- You going away, Francis?

Yes. I've got a little business in
Harrisburg that I have to take care of.

More marriages.
It's not a bad idea, at that.

(INAUDIBLE)

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

If you're not fired
when we get back to Hollywood,

my name ain't Mavis Arden.

Well, think you can find out what's wrong
with this silver-plated perambulator?

If I did, I couldn't fix it.

She's got the tool box
full of hair wash and cold cream.

Careful, my lad.

Surely, you don't expect
the talk of the talkies

to ride around the country
in a common domestic model.

What would her public say?

Then they should have imported
an interpreter for the car.

(CAR DOOR SLAMMING)

It's intolerable, simply intolerable.

This is a fine state of affairs.

A.K. shall hear of this,
I promise you.

He pays you all
exorbitant salaries

for the sole purpose of protecting me
against these petty annoyances

and this is the result.

I pay $20,000 for a car,
have it made to order,

upholstered to order, design the colour
scheme myself and now it won't go.

What's the matter
with the screwy thing?

I don't know, he don't know.

"Don't know"? But you must know.
I pay you to know.

- I never heard of anything so in...
- "Intolerable."

Intolerable.
Don't interrupt me.

And what are you gonna do?
Just stand idly by?

I'm not standing idly by.
I'm looking for a place to telephone.

"Telephone"! If you ask me,
you framed this thing yourself.

- But Mr Morgan...
- You stay with the car.

NICODEMUS:
"And the state should make it possible

"for them to marry." Period.

"It should... E-N-D-O-W matrimony.

"Give every unmarried girl
over twenty-five

"a... D-O-W-R-Y."

Mr Clyde?
What is D-O-W-R-Y?

Means if you marry a girl
over twenty-five years of age,

she would get so much money.

She? Don't I count?

CLYDE:
But you're a man.

That ain't my fault.

Sounds to me
like a play for publicity.

Didn't she do that
in another picture?

I pretty near swear I'd seen her
in that same thing before.

She was a South Sea native
or somethin'.

Oh, no, Miss Kate, she never played
anything like this before.

Well, all right.
Then what happened?

And then she's on a yacht
with a rich banker.

I don't know how she met him.
You know how they out pictures these days.

But, anyhow, he keeps pestering her,
so she stabs him.

Impulsive, I'd call her.

Oh, it was wonderful, Miss Kate.

And, then, when Miss Arden
made her personal appearance.

Oh, my goodness me,
I thought my heart was just gonna stop.

You know, Movieland Magazine gave her
first place last month in the "It" contest.

"It"!

Thank goodness, I was born
before the days of movies and "It"!

Didn't they even have "It" then?

They had "It" all right, but they didn't
photograph it and put it to music.

Oh!

My eggs. I want my eggs.
You understand?

Oh, Professor Rigby,
I'm so sorry...

Bah!

Oh, go and stuff yourself a duck,
you old fussbudget.

They're looking at me!

W... What did you say, sir?

They're looking at me!

I ordered them turned over.
You heard what I said.

- Mrs Struthers!
- Oh!

Mrs Struthers!

Mrs Struthers!

Oh, I'm so sorry, Herbert!

Mrs Struthers, I'm the oldest boarder here
and they're taking advantage of the fact.

- What's the trouble, Herbert?
- That's the trouble.

They're staring at me!

Oh, now, Gladys,
you know that Mr Rigby...

Oh, yes, and I'll have 'em fixed
right away, yes.

If she went to bed nights
instead of running round

with that musclebound Clyde Pelton...

(BLUBBERING)

What's stirring?

-(SOBBING) Oh, nothin'.
- Well, quit bawlin' then.

Oh, Miss Kate, Professor Rigby
is talkin' to Mrs Struthers about me.

- Let him talk.
- Gladys.

- Now see here, Adie...
- Keep your place, please.

I can't have a star boarder
like Mr Rigby upset

because one of my employees
wants to waste her time

talking about a mere movie star.

-"Mere"? Why, the papers are full of her.
- And who cares?

See here, Gladys.

I will not tolerate delays
with my boarders

just because you want to stand around
talking about a public figure.

"Public figure"?
Nobody's public that wants babies.

- Katherine!
- Aw, shucks.

She just got through tellin' me things
I never knew myself.

Go on. Get him some coffee
before he yells himself to death.

Nothing seems to matter
to you these days.

Your home, your social standing,
your pride, nothing!

What pride,
what social position?

We're runnin' a boarding house,
ain't we?

I think that's very unfair, Katherine.

It's an economic condition, solely.

Why, do you think that, for one moment,
if I had any money,

I'd allow Bud Norton to have
that disgraceful gasoline station

in front of a home that once entertained
the leading socialites of Pennsylvania?

(SOBBING)

Oh, you and your moss-bound ideas.

Aunt Kate, you mustn't
talk to Mother like that.

Oh, it's all right, my dear.

Nobody cares about me,
what I think or what I do.

But it's all right.

I leave you two alone for a minute
and, bang, you're at it again.

If it wasn't for Bud helping us out
with his filling station,

it'd be pretty hard going for us,
I can tell you.

- Oh, I don't know.
- You don't know?

Then what are you
hangin' around him for?

(CHUCKLING)

You goose, why do you suppose?

We'll be able to send
for the car right away, sir.

We just fixed the truck.
It's working swell now.

Good. And now
may I use your telephone?

Sorry, sir, it's out of order.

- How far is it to Harrisburg?
- Ninety miles.

Oh, isn't that just dandy?

No phone, ninety miles,

and I've got a personal appearance
with Miss Arden at eight o'clock.

You mean, is Miss Arden
in that broken-down car?

I hope.

You mean Miss Mavis Arden,
the great movie star?

- I wouldn't be surprised.
- Oh, boy. Nicodemus, Nicodemus!

(CAR ENGINE STARTING)

Nicodemus, come on!

Come on, Nicodemus.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING ON RADIO)

It was kinda loud, wasn't it?

That was Carl Hudnut's Orchestra.
I was just trying to pick up the oboes.

I know 'em.
They're all oboes.

Yeah.

Jack Benny had that joke
Sunday night.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Somethin' I can do for you?

Are you the proprietress?

No, just Aunt Kate.

- Adie, Adie.
- ADIE: Coming, Katherine.

Can we stay here
while our car is being fixed?

There's a lot to be said for the old
horse and buggy yet, ain't there?

You said it. May I?

If it's a good cigar, you may.
Folks around here smoke whip-handles.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

Adie, this gentleman wants to know
if his party can stay here

-until he gets his car fixed?
- Why, yes. Yes, of course.

I have Miss Arden,
the movie star with me.

Mavis Arden?

- Mavis Arden.
- Gladys!

There's another hotel,
down the road about a mile.

Oh, nonsense, Katherine.

Mavis Arden, the movie star, in person.
I'm positively thrilled.

And we have just the room
for her

with the loveliest petunias
growing outside the window

and a beautiful hand-carved bed
brought from England by my grandfather.

You see, I'm really
not a boarding-house mistress.

An economic condition.

Well, I'll, er...
I'll just get the room ready.

Come, come, Gladys.

Are you Mr Arden?

No, no.
My name's Morgan.

- Morgan? Not by any chance...
- No chance, whatsoever.

JP. and I
come from two distinct families.

Officially, I am Miss Arden's counsel
for public relations.

Yeah, expect she has
a good many, too.

Well, I can see that you aren't exactly
buried out here in the country, are you?

No, just waitin' around to be,
I guess.

Now tell me what a public relations,
whatever it is, really is?

Well, I believe
I'm the last one in captivity.

You see, Miss Arden is, er...
very attractive and, er... temperamental.

Yes, I read somewhere
that she's very susceptible.

Yes, well, that's one name for it.

So the studio sends me along

to see that she doesn't
suscept too easily.

Oh, yes.

You see, Miss Arden's contract
won't permit her to marry for five years.

My job is to see
that she doesn't break that contract.

(CHUCKLING)

Lucky you have a sense of humour.

Humour and patience

and a knowledge of the alienation
of affection laws of every state.

- You don't say.
- The rooms are ready now

in case you'd like
to look at them.

Excuse me.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

(NICODEMUS MUMBLING)

Hey, you come on and fix it,
will ya?

Well, if this ain't a surprise.

Who'd have thought I was gonna
see you again right here, face to face.

Boy, you were swell in that show
last night, Miss Arden.

Boy, you sure were.

And were you grand
in Puzzled Peacocks!

Oh, gee, oh, gosh.

"Oh, gee, oh, gosh."

Don't you think we could
discuss this better

-after you get us out of here?
- Say, we sure could.

Mr Clyde.

Mr Clyde.

I got 'em to get
amongst one another.

Boy, will Gladys be glad
when she hears about this. Come on.

And in that big cave scene,
boy, was I scared.

I thought they were gonna
kidnap you, sure.

And I bet they woulda, too,
if it hadn't been for...

- Pigs.
- Hello, Joe.

Miss Mavis Arden,
the big movie actress.

She's back there in the car!

You mean the one in that picture,
Love Is Such a Selfish Thing?

CLYDE:
Yeah, that's the one.

How are ya, Bill!

- Mavis Arden, the big movie star.
- What, the big movie star?

Beautiful.

(MUMBLING)

CLYDE:
Hi, Andy!

It's Mavis Arden,
the big movie star!

- She's in the back.
- Mavis Arden?

Turn on that radio
for a change.

They're coming!

Here they come!
They're coming right now.

They're coming down the road
right now!

Come on! Here comes Mavis Arden!
Come on, everybody!

Welcome.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

In my time,
women with hair like that

didn't come outside
in the daylight.

Keep back a little.
Keep back.

(PIGS SNORTING)

Bah.

Mavis...

A.K. was right when he said
we're making picture for a lot of maroons.

We welcome you, Miss Arden.

We hope your stay at the Haven
will be a happy one.

Oh, I'm sure it will be.

If I could just have a moment's rest,
then I'd be so glad to meet my public.

Come, Morgan.

- Mavis, please...
- Don't "please" me.

- Do you think I'd have walked six miles?
- Oh, what am I supposed to do?

Sit around this terrible dump?

Why, a ghost would be willin'
to haunt this place for nothin'.

I wouldn't stay here
if it was embroidered in jewels.

Well, my dear, I'm sure you don't want
these good people

-to get the wrong impression of you.
- Oh, my dear, dear friends.

What must you think of me?
My tragic, tragic temperament.

This tour has been just
one intolerable thing after another

and we artists, we artistes,
we live on our emotions, you know.

- How true.
- MAVIS: You must forgive me.

Why, that's all right.
I've been sort of on edge myself today.

I assure you I had
no intentions of casting, er...

- Aspersions.
-...aspersions on your lovely home here.

No, indeed.
Miss Arden is quite overcome by it.

Why, it's charming...
But too, too charming.

And your interior is just
as picturesque as your ulterior.

Er... Miss Arden has had
a very trying day and, er...

Well, let me get you
a nice, hot cup of tea.

- Tea?
- Yes, you know, tea.

Oh, tea! Oh, that would be simply divine,
but I don't want to put you to any trouble.

Oh, it's no trouble at all, my dear,
no trouble at all.

Gladys, get Miss Arden
a cup of tea.

- Oh...
- Well, hurry up.

Oh, yes.

Charming girl.

Er... Miss Arden, I want you to know
Mrs Struthers and, er... and Aunt Kate.

- Mrs, er...
- Miss, young man, Miss Kate Barnaby.

I'm glad to meet you.
This is my great-niece, Joyce.

Miss Arden, this is indeed thrilling.

Thank you so much,
it's all so lovely. So very lovely.

I've often said to my producer,
A.K. Greenfield,

president of Superfine
Pictures, Incorporated,

"You know, A.K.," I said,

"if I ever build another house,
it's going to be

"one of those simple little colonial cottages."
Just like this one here of yours.

That's exactly what I want.

Oh, Miss Arden, thank you.
Thank you so much.

And I have a lovely, quiet room
with a nice, soft bed

and a private bath for you.

Why don't you go up and lie down,
and I'll serve your tea up there?

Then you can drink it in comfort
and have a nice rest.

Your maid's taken
your things up already.

Oh, she has, has she?

Well, it does sound tempting.
Just to relax for a tiny moment.

And now, if you'll allow me
to talk to Mr Morgan alone, please,

for just a moment.

Why, of course.
Come along, Joyce, Katherine.

Now, don't get sore, Mavis.

Do you think I'd have planned
that marathon for myself?

Why, you'd jump off a ten-storied building
into a bottle of ink

if you thought you could keep me
from gettin' to Harrisburg tonight.

You figure I've got
a lot of phone calls comin' in.

You think I'm gonna meet
that guy, Harrigan.

Well, I am. I'm gonna meet him
if I have to fly there.

Well, that's one way
your public hasn't seen you.

Don't be funny.

I lift it up, just put it under.

Okay.

Mmm, what large
and sinewy muscles.

Where is that room
they got here for me?

And I got here before I discovered
I had left my briefcase in Washington.

If you'll go get it, I'll see to it
that it is worth your while.

Sure, Mr Morgan.

Boy, you don't know
how you make me feel.

(HUMMING)

(CODED KNOCKING ON DOOR)

- Let him in.
- Yes, Mademoiselle.

- Mavis, you look charming.
- Don't I always?

Yes, but particularly so now.

- I suppose it's the country air.
- Mmm.

Well, we'll be leaving
in the morning.

Why the hurry?
I like it here.

In fact, my type should get
better acquainted with farm life.

And here's something else
that may upset your plans a bit.

The young man you saw
through the window,

the young man with the large
and sinewy muscles,

has just left for Washington.

- Why, you cheap...
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Keep it up.

I'd like these country folks to get a load
of their favourite star in action.

Clyde just got back from Gettysburg
with the coil, Mr Morgan, and I...

MORGAN:
I thought you went to Washington.

I intended to, but Clyde wanted to go
so I sent him.

Would you mind
coming down to the car?

Yes, and as far
as I'm concerned, Morgan,

you can keep going down
and down and down.

Miss Arden is in her room,
I suppose.

Yes, sir.
She's gone upstairs to rest.

If I were you,
I'd try to discourage any ideas

she may have of coming outside.

The people here tell me that the weather
has been terrible for colds

and, er... I wouldn't want Miss Arden
to injure her voice.

- You understand?
- Yes, I think I do, sir.

- I thought you would.
- Thank you, sir.

I think it's practically a miracle
that you're right here in this very room

and I saw you only last night
in Washington.

It's the most thrilling thing
that's ever happened to me.

Really?
Well, that's very sweet of you.

You say he owns
the gasoline station?

GLADYS:
Yes. And he helps support the house, too.

Married, I suppose.

Well, not yet, he isn't.
But I...

- Further talk would be a waste of time.
- I beg your pardon, ma'am?

Oh, I was just saying,
if you'll just set down the tea,

I'll try and drink it.

Oh, how silly of me standing here
holding this tray all this time.

Well, you must think
I'm an awful ninny.

- Awful, no, my dear, not at all.
- Shall I pour it for you?

No, I'm quite capable
of doing that myself.

But you've been very good to me.
Now...

Miss Arden, I promised
I wouldn't annoy you,

but... but I was wondering...

- Would you be kind enough to do...
- Autograph a picture?

Well, yes.
But how did you guess?

Well, I sort of sensed it.

One's senses become very keen
in my profession.

I've got a beautiful picture of you
over in my room. I'll run and get it.

Lovely, but don't run, my dear.
You might fall and get hurt.

I'll be here for some time,
I'm afraid.

Oh, this is wonderful.
Golly!

(CLATTERING)

(BUD WHISTLING)

(HUMMING)

Oh, and she told me
if I'd bring her some tea this afternoon,

she'd give me
an autographed picture.

Just think of that, Joyce.

An autographed picture
from Miss Arden.

Why don't you get
a block of fresh cement?

Maybe you could get
her footprints.

Well, you mean like at Grauman's
Chinese Theatre in Hollywood?

I read about that.

Well, do you think she would?

Oh, no, silly,
I was only joking.

- How does it look?
- Oh, Joyce, that's lovely.

My sister will be crazy about it.

Say, do you know,
this morning she told me

that she's gonna name the baby
after Miss Arden?

Mavis Dackat.
Isn't that too cunning for words?

Why don't you go on
and get your dishes done?

All right, Joyce.

- Mr Morgan...
- Huh?

Er... Do you think there's a chance for me
in the moving picture business?

Well, I don't know.

I understand that, er...
Superfine Pictures, Incorporated

is looking
for a new stenographer.

Oh, I don't know how to typewrite.
I only got as far as six B.

Oh, well, then, of course,
you want to be an actress.

Oh, Mr Morgan...
Mr Morgan, now, look...

(CHUCKLING)

♪ Falling in love again

♪ Never wanted to...

- I've got it. Baby Leroy.
- Oh, no.

ZaSu Pitts.

Oh, now, Mr Morgan,
you're just teasing me.

I can take off ZaSu,
but that was Marlene Dietrich.

Oh, I see.

Can you take off
the four Marx Brothers?

You mean all at once?

Well, gradually,
if it'll be any easier for you.

- No, but I can practise.
- That's fine.

You practise very hard
and then maybe I'll talk to you again

before we leave for Hollywood.

Oh! Oh, Mr Morgan.

Ooh! That's just ducky.

"Ducky"?

Oh, Mr Morgan, I'm sorry,
but Miss Arden...

- She has, huh?
- Not yet, but she's going to.

I told her about the weather,
and she said that wouldn't bother her any

because she was much better
at pantomime anyhow.

So she's using pantomime, eh?

(WHISTLING)

Oh. Hello.

Hmmm.

- Nice and cool this afternoon.
- Is it?

I'm sorry I don't carry spare parts.

But of course not,
I wouldn't expect you to.

I'm terribly grateful
for what you've done.

For what I've...
Oh, that's all right.

It's really an honour, you know,
to be of service to you.

Do you think so?
That's sweet, real sweet.

(CHUCKLING)

You know, you remind me
of someone I know.

I do?

Just who is it?

Well, I have a brother in York.

Lots of people get us mixed up.
His name is Ed, Ed Norton.

No, I've never been in York.

- Have you ever been in Hollywood?
- Hollywood?

No. But I'd sure like to go.

Why, you think you'd like
to get in pictures?

- Acting?
- Yes.

No, it's the mechanical part
of the movies that interest me.

How they hitch up the sound to pictures
and all the technical details.

Yes, it's marvellous.
But too, too marvellous.

Yeah. Well, I think I could do it
a whole lot better.

Oh, is that so?

You see, I've always been crazy
about machinery, autos, radios

and all that junk. You know,
put things together and take 'em apart.

Yes. Oh, like Einstein.

- Oh, I'm not that good. No.
- You never know.

I've been working on a new
principle of sound recording

-and I think I've got something.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, that's lovely.
What is it?

- Oh, it's probably not worth a darn.
- Oh, don't be modest.

Modesty never gets you anything.
I know.

Now, show it to me.

It's all pretty technical.
I'm afraid you wouldn't understand.

You don't know what
an understanding person I can be,

especially when it's, er...
in connection with, uh... pictures.

Why, it's my life.

Now, won't you tell me?

Of course you know
the principle of synchronisation

of sound and pictures,
alternating currents of light

that vary with the intensity
of the electrons?

Oh, yes.

(CLEARING THROAT)
Yes, indeed.

Good. Now, my idea is to utilise
the theory of the stroboscope.

- The what?
- Uh... The stroboscope.

Oh, yes, of course.

That is, the loud speaker
makes one vibration

for every time
light passes the photo cell.

- You could use an oscilloscope for that.
- Mm-hmm. Why not?

No reason at all.
You could.

That would take care of the rotating,
vibrating, or oscillating movements,

which we have to blur
under direct illumination.

- I think this sketch shows it plainly.
- Oh, you draw beautifully.

(CHUCKLING)

Well, this is just rough.
Now, look here.

You see this line here
represents the direction of the light ray.

My, it's a cunning little line,
isn't it?

And, er... Where these two lines cross...

You know, you have beautiful hair
for a man.

(CHUCKLING)

Well, it's thick anyway.

Wash it a lot,
that's the secret.

They tell you not to wash it,
but that's an exploded theory.

Oh.

- And, er... Where these two lines cross...
- Mm-hmm.

Er... It's... It's hard to explain
on paper.

Why, you're doing beautifully.
I couldn't draw a straight line myself.

I tell you, er... I... I've got a model
in the workshop,

the one I've been working on,
if you'd like to see that.

Oh, in the workshop, huh?

Oh, I'd just love
to see your model.

One hears such terrible things
about these movie actresses,

but I saw at once
that she was a real lady.

Bah.

Is this workshop
very far away?

Not that it matters,
because I adore walking in the country.

No, it's just a few steps more.

Oh, Mr Morgan.

Mr Morgan.

They... The.. The...
They say I was great.

- In fact, they say that I was putrid.
- I'm glad to hear that.

"To arms! To arms.
The British is coming."

What are you talking about?

- Well, I was in the third act.
- Third act of what?

What I was gonna tell you about.
I was Paul Revere.

You are Paul Revere.

- They lighten me up.
- I ain't lightening you up. I'm busy.

(TUTTING)

One day, somebody will see me
dance off this...

(MUTTERING)

- Wait a minute.
- Huh, I didn't say anything.

Not said a thing.
I didn't open my mouth.

This fella, Paul Revere.

Wasn't he the guy
that roused the neighbourhood

and told them
the British were coming?

Do you know who he was?

"I ride my horse till death
a part of him be. To war!"

- Splendid!
- Huh?

How would you like to be Paul Revere
in real life?

For ten bucks, I mean.

- Well, here it is.
- Mmm... Isn't it lovely?

Mrs Struthers built it for a garage
in more optimistic times.

- Why, it's marvellous.
- Hmm?

I can tell at a glance
it's going to be sensational.

Oh, that isn't the invention,
Miss Arden.

That's just the insides
from an old phonograph.

Oh, of course.
How stupid of me!

Well, you see, I've never seen
the infernal organs of a phonograph before.

(BOTH CHUCKLING)

I'll have to darken the room a bit.
Do you mind?

Why, no.
Go right ahead.

This is the invention.

Oh, so that's it!
My, it looks quite revolutionary.

Frankly, it is.

Mmm. And what about
all those little, er... things around?

Do you think you'll ever be able
to explain it?

I'll try to explain it to you
a little more fully.

I'm afraid I didn't make
myself clear outside.

Ooh, I'm sure it's much clearer now.

- And I hope it speaks for itself.
- Yes, let it speak

and you and I can have a nice little talk
in the meantime.

Mavis Arden, the movie star,
is at Mrs Struthers!

Mavis Arden, the movie star,
is at Mrs Struthers!

Mavis Arden is at...

Mavis Arden, movie st...

Mavis Arden, the movie star,
is at Mrs Struthers!

(CONTINUES SHOUTING)

(CHILDREN EXCLAIMING)

You see, I've synchronised
light and motion.

The shutter which controls
the light beam

revolves at the same rate of speed
as the fan blades.

They synchronise
and become one,

which makes it appear
that the fan is standing still.

But my only trouble now
is to stabilise those speeds.

Well, that's it.

Why, why, it's stupendous.

And I can be
of great assistance to you.

I can't tell you the number of men
I've helped to realise themselves.

Well, now. Say, that's...
I don't know how to thank you.

Well, don't bother
with that now.

(WHISTLING)

- I've kept you a pretty long time.
- Not long enough, perhaps.

Well, anyway, I... I think we'd better
start back to the house,

or they might think
I've run off with you.

Would you,
if you had the chance?

- Well, I...
- Well, we'll get into that later, hm?

- Mm, hay.
- What?

I said, "Hay."

Mmm...

It reminds me of my first picture,
The Farmer's Daughter.

- Do you remember it?
- Well, it... It sounds familiar.

Oh, that's the one
where I start out on the farm

and then wind up
singing in the nightclub.

Then, disillusioned,
I go back to the farm in the end.

It was a lovely story.
I felt very sincere in it.

Mmm...

I love it.

- MAN #1: Come on, you girl.
- MAN #2: Oh, there you go.

I wonder who that is.

(CHILDREN CHEERING)

That guy...

That's what you get
for being famous, Miss Arden.

(CHILDREN SHOUTING)

MORGAN:
Don't rush, don't rush.

Don't trample me. Stay back.
You'll all get a picture.

What are you...
Line them up a little bit, will ya?

- Come on, get in line.
- CHILD: Come on.

Mavis, here's a fine place
to work.

Come on, kids. Step up.

BOY:
Thank you, Miss Arden.

What were you doing in the haystack?
Looking for a needle?

No, a four-leaf clover.

- Thank you, Miss Arden.
- Oh, you are pretty.

Ah, you're crazy.
I went in to show her my invention.

- You had no right to.
- No right to?

What do you think I am,
a cigar store Indian?

I only wish I'd met
a cigar store Indian first.

Oh, so that's the way it is,
is it?

You can take it
any way you want and like it.

We've never had any Casanovas
in our family

and we're not gonna start now.

What are you trying to tell me?
That I fell for...

- For what?
- Uh... Miss Arden?

That proves it.

Well, if I remember correctly,
you called her a hussy.

Yes, and you said she was public,
now we're both right.

Yeah, well anyway, Bud's old enough
to know his own mind.

Not in an emergency.

You just want to get rid of him,
that's all.

- You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
-(CHUCKLING)

I came to you because I thought
you were a gentleman, Mr Morgan.

Now that I see you are not,
I intend to place this matter

in the hands of certain people
in Gettysburg,

who will demand and get
immediate action.

I tell you again, and you must
believe me, Professor Rigby.

Miss Arden was out there
hunting four-leaf clovers.

- Bah!
- Bah to you, sir.

Nature never made
a sweeter woman than Miss Arden.

A lady. A lady at birth.
A lady, now.

She comes from one
of the finest families of...

New Guinea.

Oh, please, Mavis,
you've got to listen to me.

- This fella Rigby means business.
- Well, so do I.

Please, please be serious.

Give him five minutes
with the scandal sheets

-and you'll hear from A.K.
- For doing what?

Oh, for rolling on a hoop,
for playing Jacks with the kiddies.

I did nothin'.

I have a chance
for a pleasant little tête-à-tête.

I only borrowed the guy.

I know, but... but Rigby is...

Oh, after you get through with me,
I'm Lucrezia Borgia

with a cup of poison in each hand,
a death in every glance.

I'm not interested.

But you'd better think
of your reputation.

Well, you think of it.
That's what you're being paid for.

Good heavens,
what else am I doing?

Rigby's in his room,
right this minute,

putting on his other pair of pants,
getting ready to go to Gettysburg.

- Well, stop him.
- How can I stop him?

- Steal his pants.
- Oh, be serious.

Mmm. Sittin' Bull.

Not bad for a guy
that's been sittin' all of his life.

-(DOOR CLOSING)
- Bah!

Oh, I... I'm terribly sorry.

- Sorry about what, my good man?
- Yes, yes, to be sure. What?

I'll tell you what I'm sorry about,
Professor Rigby.

I only wish I were you.

You what?

If I could only...
No, that couldn't be, I'm her manager.

Her manager.

Supposedly, the finest manager
in the world.

- I don't understand.
- Why, the idea.

Why, Crawford Slipmingle
is one of the finest actors in the world.

Crawford Slipmingle?

He's the man I want her
to put in her next picture.

But do you know
what she said to me?

She said that you
are the perfect type

to play that particular part
in her picture.

I?

Oh, a thousand pardons,
Professor Rigby.

She wanted me to come to you
and ask you if you'd make a screen test.

Splendid actor you probably are.

She's usually right, confound it.

"To be or not to be,
that is the question."

Long distance.
Hello, Washington.

Yes. Harrisburg's ready for you now.
Go ahead, please.

Hello. Hello.
Penn Harris Hotel.

I wanna talk
to Miss Mavis Arden.

Are you the gentleman who left
the message earlier this evening?

I'm sorry, Miss Arden isn't here,
but hold the wire.

I'll see if the desk
has any information.

Desk clerk,
has Miss Arden checked in?

(CLERK ON TELEPHONE)
No.

- Say, did you see this?
- What?

Why, she was kidnapped
this afternoon.

Can you imagine the nerve?
Kidnapping her in broad daylight?

Kidnapped? Kidnapped.

Kidnapped!

Hello. Hello, Operator.

Get me the police department.
Yes.

Hello. Er... Bronson?

Yes, sure.
The Chief of Police.

Hello. Hello, Bronson.

Repeat. Washington police,
calling all cars.

Number eight-one-seven.
Number eight-one-seven.

The disappearance of Mavis Arden,
the motion picture star has been reported.

A town car of foreign make.
California licence plates.

Three-W-William-five.
Number three-W-five.

Can you beat that? And I'd seen
her only last night in Drifting Lady.

(STARTING ENGINE)

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

(CLEARING THROAT)

- I heard the music and...
- Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Arden.

I'm using it
to adjust my invention.

But I thought I'd turned it down
low enough so that nobody would hear.

But, my dear, I love it.
Go right ahead with your work.

- Well, I...
- I won't even know you're here.

I'm afraid it's kind of chilly down here.
You won't catch a cold, will you?

Cold? Why, I don't know
the meaning of the word.

At home, I lie about
with hardly anything on.

Well, I suppose you can get used
to hardly anything.

My, isn't that a divine tune?

- Don't you adore dancing?
- Yes, I do.

Oh, er... What do you intend doing
with it, after it's complete?

What do I intend to...

Oh, you mean this.

Well, I guess an inventor never thinks
about that sort of thing.

What would you suggest?

Oh, I've been seriously thinking about it.
The invention, I mean.

I wouldn't be a bit surprised

if it would revolutionise
the whole picture business.

- BUD: Do you really think so?
- I know so.

But you'll have to take it
to Hollywood.

Oh, not a chance.

I don't sell enough gasoline
out of those pumps of mine

to buy a ticket
to the state line.

- But you don't have to.
- BUD: I don't what?

I'm going to take you
to Hollywood myself.

- BUD: Hey, wait a minute.
- Oh, yes, I am.

I've talked it all over
with Mr Morgan

and he thinks it's positively
a marvellous idea and so do I.

And I'm gonna have you meet
all the big executives in Hollywood.

Why, they'll just thrill
at your invention.

Hmm. Why, you'll be making
so much money,

you won't know
what to do with it.

Oh, lovely music, isn't it?

To Hollywood?

Do you like to dance, honey?

Boy, wouldn't that be a break.

Never. Never. Never.
I wouldn't make up with Bud Norton

if he was the finest man
in the world.

That's what he is
and you know it.

I do not know it. I...

Oh, Aunt Kate, I love Bud, but...
I'm crazy about him, only now...

But now, what?

- My pride...
- Ha! Your pride?

You mean your family's pride.

Now you listen to me.

You want Bud,
but you're not willing to fight for him.

(CONTINUES SOBBING)

Well, I had my chance once,
and I was too proud to fight.

Even now, when I think about it,
it does something to me inside.

You've got to work for love,

just like we've always got to work
to earn a living.

And if this woman's got something
that's taking him away,

you find out what it is
and add a little bit to it.

If the going gets too tough,
sock below the belt.

Sometimes you just have to do it.

(SNIFFLING)

(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)

(SNIFFING)

- Mmm.
- Oh, you like my perfume?

- Oh, so that's what it is.
- Mm-hmm. Parler de d'amour.

Which means speaking of love.

Oh. Perfume is a wonderful thing.

Why, do you know they make it
out of the darndest things?

Horses' hooves, potato peelings
and coal tar and...

Why, do you know there are over
600 by-products of coal tar?

Well, I always say, "Science is golden"
or something like that.

- You mean, "Silence is golden."
- Well, yeah, golden, 18-karat, you know.

Mmm... Moonlight and music.

It does seem a shame
to let them go to waste.

You know, I was I saying
to the moon,

just the other night.

"Wouldn't it be grand
if I should find my one delight?"

♪ I was saying to the moon

♪ Love can't be so far

♪ Never thinking you would soon

♪ Be standing where you are

♪ Oh, I just stood and stared at you

♪ I could hardly contain myself

♪ Then I tried to explain myself

♪ But all the time you knew

♪ When you stepped into my life

♪ It was opportune

♪ Just as though you heard

♪ What I was saying to the moon

♪ I was saying to the moon

♪ Just the other night

♪ Wouldn't it be grand if I... ♪

Oh, honey, forget that.
Come on, take a little relax at it, hmm?

Such music.

You know, I... I'm really
not a very good dancer.

Yeah, just take
two steps forward, dear.

Lovely.

You underrate yourself.

♪ Opportune ♪

(RADIO PLAYING)

NEWSCASTER:
Flash! Mavis Arden,

beautiful motion picture actress,
was reported kidnapped tonight

while en route from Washington, DC.
to Harrisburg

on a personal appearance tour.

The police have been notified and
an intensive search is being conducted

for the glamorous star
of Drifting Lady.

(PANTING)

He's a kidnapper.
He's a kidnapper.

- Who's a what?
- Shh! Him in there.

He kidnapped Mavis Arden.
It says so over the radio.

We've got to get a gun.

We've got to get the police
in Gettysburg. Come on.

But if he's kidnapped her, why don't she
say something, why don't do something?

Well, maybe he threatened
her life, if she does.

Maybe he was going to throw acid
in her face. Come on.

- What'll we do?
- Come on. Come on, I know what to do.

Mmm, you're not very romantic,
are you, dear?

Well, I... I guess
I haven't had much time for it.

Mmm. But I feel you could be
if you let yourself go.

That's what I'm afraid of.

You know, honey,
it isn't often I get a chance

to talk to someone
who understands.

You don't know. You don't know
how I'm suffering for my career.

All because Mr A.K. Greenfield,

president of Superfine Pictures,
Incorporated, loves money.

Money.
What does it get you?

Well, it seems to have gotten you
pretty nearly everything a girl could want,

automobiles, jewels
and swell clothes.

Hmm. What do they matter?

When I've missed the one thing
in all this world that really counts.

Love.

The tender, honest love of some
simple man who understands me.

And here I've been practically a slave.

Chained to a five-year contract
that forbids me to marry.

A slave to A.K.'s greed
for gold, gold.

Hmm, it does seem terrible
when you put it that way.

If only I could meet someone
before it's too late.

Mmm, someone like you.

(GULPING)

Me?
Why, you can't mean that I...

I'm nobody.
I haven't anything, not a thing.

Honey, you've got everything.

Everything my dream man needs
to make me happy.

Do you... mean that?

Oh, look into my eyes
and read the truth.

Yes, your eyes.

It's sort of hard to tell
what colour they are. It's like...

- It's like what?
- It's like the water in Millers Pond.

In the winter with the sky overhead,
it's as blue as... as anything.

And in the fall, when the leaves turn,
it's sort of grey-brown.

- And your hair.
- What about my hair?

It reminds me of golden corn tassels
waving in the sun.

I've never seen hair like it
outside a magazine.

Oh, I guess I'm talking like a fool.

No, you're just
divinely sweet, and I'm...

I'm kinda crazy about you.

- Do you mean that?
- Do I? Why...

AUNT KATE:
Listening to the music?

Hello, Aunt Kate.
I was just working on my drawings.

Well, keep right on working.

Miss Arden heard the music
and came down to listen to it.

Oh, a music lover.

Well, then, we can all sit down here
and enjoy it together.

Perhaps we had better turn it off,
we seem to be disturbing everybody.

Oh, don't.

It isn't often we get a chance
at any nightlife in this house.

Hmm... Maybe you don't give it
a chance to develop.

Er... Aunt Kate, don't you think
it's kind of late for you?

Not too late, I hope.

The Night Owl Serenaders come on
at two. You'll love them, Miss Arden.

- At two?
- AUNT KATE: Mmm, it's almost that now.

Oh, I really must be going.

I'm usually in bed
at this hour.

AUNT KATE:
This must be one of your off nights.

I'm beginning to think so.
In fact, I'm sure of it.

Oh, don't go.

I thought we could have a nice visit
while we were listening to the music.

- Well, I'm sorry.
- You spoke of cooking at dinner.

Have you tried this new way
of cooking spinach?

You take your spinach...

You take your spinach,
I don't need any. Good night.

Well, Mr Morgan,
what are you gonna do about it?

If you ask me,
I think you've been lying.

I think you're in on this scheme
to take Bud away

just so you can steal
his invention.

And I say, you should mind
your own business.

If Bud Norton wants to go
to Hollywood, let him go.

Isn't that so, Mr Rigby?

- Well, I...
- You keep out of this.

- But Adie here...
- I'm talking to Mr Morgan. Shut up.

- Now then, Mr Morgan.
- Dear Auntie Katie.

Mavis Arden isn't such a bad sort.

If she's a little hard-boiled,

well, she's had to be hard-boiled
to get where she is.

She kept on going up
until suddenly she found herself

a pampered, glamorous celebrity
with the whole world at her feet.

It's a wonder she's kept her head
as well as she has.

Naturally, she's affected sometimes.

There are darned few of us
who wouldn't be.

- But underneath it all, all the glitter...
-"She has a heart of gold."

(CHUCKLING)

I guess I just can't help
making a noise

like a double-truck ad
in the Movie Magazine.

But I more than half mean it,
at that.

Come on, Mavis, forget about this fella.
It's for your own good.

- You know you've fallen for him.
- Oh, what about it?

Well, aside from the question
of your contract, there's Joyce.

Well, I figured that's just
a schoolday romance.

- I played that part, too.
- No, it's deeper than that.

All right, all right.
Don't try to sell it to me.

(PLAYING PIANO)

You know that chap's invention
probably isn't worth a nickel.

Yes, and it might be worth a million.

Mavis, this is the first time I've ever
known you deliberately to hurt anyone.

You're gonna break his heart.

And you're gonna break hers, too.

They're crazy
about each other.

So what?

I am only interested
in his invention.

Besides, I have a right
to my feelings, too.

Well, that's different.

These two may never be rich
or amount to much,

but they've got each other.

They have each other,
and before long...

You don't seem to...
What's that?

- You know what that is, Mavis.
- MAVIS: I don't understand.

- You mean, the girl is...
- MORGAN: Yes, Mavis.

This morning she broke down
and told me everything.

Hmm. Some fine goings-on
around here.

Oh, now, don't be that way, Mavis.

We haven't the right
to cast the first stone.

Maybe you haven't,

but I get the right to cast
the Rock of Gibraltar if I want to.

And I thought
she was a simple country girl.

But she was, Mavis.
That was her undoing.

They're just babes.
Babes in the woods.

Yeah, well, they shoulda
kept out of the woods.

I thought you'd be more understanding
than that, Mavis, more, urn...

Do you remember your picture,
Purity and the Maiden?

Do I remember?

Why, they held it over at Paramount
for ten weeks.

Well, Joyce reminds me so much
of the girl you played in that.

A country girl deceived
by her own innocence.

Yes, it was a beautiful part.

I always felt it had more of the real
me in it than anything I've ever done.

And do you remember the scene where
she meets the man who deceived her?

He thinks she's going to bawl him out.
Instead, she forgives him.

- She says...
- Yes, I know. I know.

"I've learned, through pain,
the joy of perfect understanding

"because suffering has taught me
to be big enough to forgive."

I was marvellous
in that part.

That's because it was
the real you speaking, Mavis.

And now that you know the truth,

the tie that binds
this boy and girl together,

you can't take him away from her.

I ain't taking him away.
You and your evil-minded innuendos.

I suppose the rest of the world would
be satisfied to believe the worst of me.

I'm afraid so, Mavis.
The world is your public.

It does seem terrible
to sacrifice Buddy's future

just because of a lot
of foul-minded people.

You can still help him.

Leave me.
I must have a moment or two alone.

A moment or two
to commute with myself.

- I know you'll do the decent thing, Mavis.
- Get out!

There ain't been any scandal yet.
You can thank me for that.

But, now, if you let him go
without fightin' for him,

you ought to be trounced
with a wet willow branch.

There's nothing I can do.
It's too late.

Oh, fiddlesticks!

Mr Morgan, did she...
Did she listen to you this morning?

Did she say she would?

What she says doesn't mean a thing.
It's what she does that counts.

She hasn't made a move yet.

(SIRENS BLARING)

(BUD WHISTLING)

Well, I'm all ready.

Oh, Bud, I'd like to talk to you
for just a moment.

Why, sure.

You must be brave, my dear.

I won't be able to take you with me
to Hollywood after all.

Oh.

Now, don't look at me
with those great bewildered eyes.

- What?
- Don't make it too difficult for me.

Someday you'll understand, perhaps.

But what's happened?
I haven't done anything, have I?

Mm. You haven't done anything, my dear,
and nothing's happened,

only that our... our little interlude
is ended.

- Our... what?
- I mean, it's ended.

But I don't understand.

You see, I'm a creature of whims.

And this plan was one of my mad,
mad whims that I've decided to forget.

Why, Miss Arden, I...

Oh, why, you're taking it so bravely,
so splendidly.

But you must try
and forget me.

Forget you?
How could I?

Hmm... Well, if you can't,
then remember me kindly

for just a brief
moment when April...

when October comes around again,
with its blue skies and sudden showers,

remember that strange October woman
who drifted into your life

as casually as a summer cloud
drifts over a green field

and then drifts on again.

(SIRENS BLARING)

Of course, it is disappointing,
but, still, I suppose it's the only...

Oh, be careful.

I'm sorry.

Why, it would break Gladys' sister's heart
if her baby didn't get this sweater now.

Who did you say?

Gladys' sister.
She's got the cutest baby you ever saw.

(BLARING CONTINUES)

- Well, Mavis, we're all ready.
- Why, you dirty...

Come on, hurry! Come on, come on.
I'll show it to ya.

There he is. There's the man
that kidnapped Mavis Arden.

What is this? Take your hands off me.
Kidnapper?

What do you mean, kidnapper?

I'm her press agent, you fools!
Listen, tell these fellas who I am.

With pleasure.

Why, he's a wolf in wolf's clothing.

OFFICER #1:
That's enough for me, ma'am.

OFFICER #2:
All right, take him out.

Thank heaven I found you
in time, Mavis.

He'll pay for this.
Kidnapping is a federal of fence

and if he doesn't hang,
it'll surprise me.

Hang? You mean they really believe
he kidnapped me?

- Well, didn't he?
- Why, no, I thought this was a joke

and you were paying him back
with one of his own tricks.

Oh, just a minute, Officers.
I'd like to explain.

You don't have to explain
anything to me now.

- What a Chump I've been!
- Now, listen, Morgan...

Don't "Morgan" me.
I'm through as your press agent.

I wasn't checking and double-checking
on you just because I was loyal to AK.

Well, maybe I was
when I first took the job, but...

I got to like you because I thought
you had some feeling.

Then I found I liked you even more
because you didn't.

Oh, you did, huh? Mmm.

Oh... Do you boys mind
stepping inside for just a moment?

Now, listen, honey.

You'll probably laugh at me
when I tell you, Joyce, but...

What, Bud?

I believe she had a case on me.

- So, what's your name?
- Mrs Struthers.

- What kind of a place is this?
- Oh!

(ENGINES SPUTTERING)

(SIRENS BLARING)

- Your lips were made to kiss.
- Mmm. That's what I use 'em for.

But for me only. From now on,
there'll be no other men.

Why, men are my life.

Oh, yeah?

A.K. shall hear of this,
I promise you.

Mmm.