Glückskinder (1936) - full transcript

The restoration was made in 2012/13 by
Friedrich-Wilhelm-Murnau-Stiftung

on the basis of a nitrate copy
from Deutsche Kinemathek.

Jumps of image and sound were repaired
using corresponding parts

from a safety copy from the
Bundesarchiv - Filmarchiv.

For highly affected shots
in the 1. Act

a safety negative from
Deutsche Kinemathek was used.

In the process, picture geometry
and density of the safety copy

were adapted to fit
the level of the nitrate copy.

The digital restoration of
sound and image in 2K-resolution

was performed by
CinePostproduction GmbH.

Lucky Kids



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SHIP DISASTER
IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN!

OHIO
BEATS NOTRE DAME 2.0!

STORM TIDE IN RIO!

STREET BATTLE IN CHICAGO!

100.000 DOLLAR COMPENSATION
FOR A BROKEN HEART!

100 METERS FREESTYLE!

HIGH ALERT!

NEW SPEED RECORD!

NIECE OF MILLIONAIRE JACKSON HASN'T
COME HOME AFTER VISITING BOXING MATCH!

- Mister Hopkins?
- Still not here.

- Has he called?
- No.

Stoddard?



Hello?

This is Bobby.

Who?

Bobby!

I don't know anyone named Bobby Hup.

Hopkins, you fool!
Don't interrupt me.

Where are you?

Here!

What are you doing?

I'm talking on the phone.

You're drunk.

You guessed it.

And that is why I would...
like to ask you... Are you listening?

-Yes, of course!

Tell me, what did I just say?

You said "hup" and not for
the first time. Can't you stop it?

No, No, no, I could only turn it into
"hop" if you like that better.

So would you do me this favor?

What favor? Hurry up!

To step in for me today with
the report from the small claims court.

The state I am in...

Yes, okay, consider it done,
get some sleep!

Stoddard!

Hello, Stoddard?

What is it now, for heaven's sake?

I kiss your heart, for heaven's sake!

Kiss my...

Of course.
That can all be done at once.

Good evening.

The line is down.

- You could do me a favor, Frank.
- That is?

Hopkins is drunk and asked me to write
the small claims court report for him.

- My condolences!
- I couldn't turn him down.

Now I'd like to ask you
to write the report

on the small claims court for Hopkins.

Are you drunk too?

You'll see how sober I am when
I tell you that any refusal on your part

will be seen as
a grave offense to our friendship,

- and that between all three of us.
- But you are refusing yourself.

- I promised to do it.
- But you're not.

- I don't need to, if you will.
- But I won't.

You are, as your refusal would mean
a betrayal of two friends,

while mine'd only be of one,
who's drunk, besides.

The bigger responsibility lies with you.
You have ten minutes to think about it.

If you insist on refusing, I must demand
the return of my 50 dollars,

which you lost in your
sure-thing horse-racing bets.

You're a real piece of work.
I'll think about it.

I thought you would.

- Hey, Bill! You could do me a favor.
- Yes?

Stoddard asked me to take his place
in taking over for Hopkins, who's drunk,

and do the report on the small
claims court. But Stoddard's sober.

- So what?
- Well, and I would like to ask you

to take over the report
in my stead in place of Stoddard,

who is replacing Hopkins, who is drunk.

Say that again please.

I certainly won't.
You understand me very well.

Your refusal would mean
a betrayal of three friends.

While I would only betray two,
and Stoddard only one,

who is drunk besides.
So you can figure out

for yourself who has
the greater moral responsibility

if you can count to three.

Poor Hopkins!

Jobless and without friends.

- Since when is Hopkins jobless?
- Since tomorrow.

Tomorrow he'll be fired, if something
happens in the small claims court today

and nothing is in the paper tomorrow.

So?
One of us will have to go.

One of us will have to go.

One of us will have to go.

- Let's flip a coin. You're heads,
you're tails. - And you?

If it stands on the side.

Wait a moment!

How about Gil Taylor?

- He'll refuse too.
- Not if we ask him the right way.

Think the boss has read my poems?

The boss doesn't read.

And when he reads something,
it isn't poetry.

And when he reads poetry,
it isn't yours.

Thanks.

- Congratulations!
- Thanks. For what?

- One could have foreseen it.
- What?

- I never doubted it.
- Doubted what?

- It had to happen some day.
- What had to happen?

Just the day before yesterday
I said to Charlie, Charlie, I said,

one day he'll get through.

Right through! No matter how,
through whom or through what.

One day he'll get through and in.

- Who'll get thoroughly into what?
- Gil?

- Frank?
- Are you pulling my leg?

I'll be damned if I understand
one word of this nonsense.

Gil, listen. I'm superstitious myself.

I'm not in favor of shouting out your
good fortune in front of just anyone.

Knock on wood.

But I'm not just anyone, remember that.
And when a friend comes, a real friend,

to congratulate you
on your first obvious success,

you don't treat him like just anyone.

And you don't pretend to be dumber
than you really are.

Which would be a boundless exaggeration
in your case, if I may say so.

Thanks.

Gil Taylor.

Who am I speaking to?

Very nice of you, dear colleague.
But why are you congratulating me?

Hello, hello!
Disconnected.

I knew it!

- Bill, just a minute. - I've no time,
my boy, tonight we'll go for a drink.

Anyway I'm very happy for you!

Do you understand that?
- No.

Too bad.

- I must talk to you.
- I've no time, my heartfelt...

Thanks! I've had enough congratulations,
Why are you all congratulating me.

- Hasn't the old man told you?
- No!

Don't spit, sit.

As you know, Hopkins has been doing
the small claims court report for years.

Yes, and I don't envy him.

Now all of a sudden
the old man has decided

that you'll take over the report today.

- Me?
- Yes.

Not in a million years,
I'm not a reporter, I'm a poet.

You're an idiot.

- Do you want to see your poems in print?
- Of course.

- They've been on the old man's desk...?
- Six months.

- And you haven't heard a word...
- Nope.

And suddenly, out of the blue, he
gives you this responsible job.

- What do you learn from it?
- What do I learn from it?

He must have noticed
that you've got talent.

That he liked your poems.

- All of them?
- All of them.

If he liked just one of them,
a word, a line, a comma...

But if he likes my poems,
why should I do a news report?

Wait a moment.
You know his motto...

No, and I don't want to know it.

Then let me tell you.

You have to touch the dirt
before you throw it.

What do you have to do?

You have to touch the dirt
before you throw it.

- I don't get it.
- He doesn't either.

- What does he mean by that?
- Well, something similar.

It's supposed to mean something like
everyone has to start from the bottom,

since he started out delivering papers.

He obviously can't get it into his head
that someone could write poems

if he hasn't started
at least as a reporter.

Yes.

I don't even know
if I can do that, a news report.

I see, but you can
turn up your nose at the idea?

Hic rodus, hic salta.
[Put up or shut up]

What? Don't talk nonsense!
I'll show you, what I can do.

All of you.

And my good breeding forbids me

to even insinuate
what all of you can do to me then.

- When must I be in court?
- At eight o'clock.

What time is it?
- Half past seven.

Goodbye, Stoddard. You will see me
return successful or not at all.

- Hooked?
- He took the bait.

Yes yes, I understand.
Really? Too bad.

I'm sorry but why put a picture
of your runaway dog in the paper?

Does your dog read the paper?
Well?

No, no. No, believe me, madam,
no dog reads the paper.

Don't say that, Mr. Manning,
everyone reads the paper,

and especially your paper,
Mr. Manning.

And the distribution of your
esteemed paper could be even greater,

if that is possible,
if you decided...

and there are certain signs
which seem to justify my hope.

if you could find a way now and then,
on Sundays perhaps,

to print a small poem of your
humble employee in a prominent place.

- I must say...
- Don't say anything, Mr. Manning!

I know everything.
You want to test me first.

Bravo! And I will
prove myself worthy of your trust.

I'll prove that
I touch the dirt before I throw it.

That's what I have to say.
Good evening.

Hey. Do you know that man?

- No.
- Yes.

If you would be so kind then.

- What did he want.
- That's what I was going to ask you.

- You've no idea?
- No.

- Can't put the picture together?
- Not at all.

Who is that?

- Gil Taylor.
- Gil Taylor?

- One of your most talented interns.
- Ah, a friend of yours.

- Yes. He's a poet.
- I see. That's why.

- Why?
- Oh, he wanted to throw dirt.

He wanted...?
Phooey.

- That surprises you.
- Yes.

Me too.

- Where did he go in such a hurry?
- Small claims court.

- What has he done?
- Nothing.

- As a reporter.
- As a substitute?

- Yes.
- For Mr. Hopkins?

Yes.

- Mr. Hopkins is once again...
- Sick, but not hopelessly so.

- I hope he gets well.
- Thanks

Thanks to you too.

Guilty or not guilty?

Guilty.

Thirty dollars or
thirty days in prison.

- Can you pay?
- No.

Take him away.

The next case, please.

Al Harris.

Profession?

Owner of a bar.

Where is your establishment?

On 28th Avenue.

You are here for assault,
tell the court about it.

A man came and said,
give me whisky.

I gave him whisky.

Then the man said:
A good Christian, this whisky.

I say, why?
It's baptized.

Then I took the bottle from his hand
and held it against the light,

And he knocked the bottle
from my hand with his skull.

- Were you sorry about that?
- Yes. It was good whisky.

Twenty-one days.

Take him away,
the next case, please.

Is he always that fast?

Guilty or not guilty.

Not guilty.

You were arrested for vagrancy.

Vagrancy?

- Well, do you have an apartment?
- No.

Do you have any cash on you?

No.

There you go.

Is it a crime to have no money?

No, but it's against the law.

Well, not against the law,
but undesirable.

That is to say, inconvenient.

For you as well as for us,

who are forced to deal with you.

So you don't have anyone
who could vouch for you.

Give a guarantee
that you are taken care of.

No.

But he can't punish her for that!

Well...

Then I must keep you here.

No one?

In all of New York?

Here!

Who was that?

I.

- Your name?
- Gilbert Taylor.

Your documents.

There you are.

- You are a journalist.
- Yes, Your Honor.

- With the Morning Post.
- Yes, Your Honor.

- A reporter.
- A poet.

- What are you doing here?
- Reporting.

There you go.

- You claim to know the accused?
- Yes.

- A relative or an in-law?
- Yes.

What's that?

Are you a relative or an in-law?

Both.

How?

She's my bride.

Even your bride is surprised.

Bride and groom.

What is your bride's name?

Why are you laughing?

It's obvious that
I would know my bride.

Of course.

Here she is.

I believe that.
I want to know her name.

My name is Ann Garden, your Honor.

Did I ask you?

So, what is your bride's name?

Ann Garden.

And don't forget that again!

I thought Your Honor had asked me.

Of course.

Mr. Taylor, you are aware
that I will have you arrested

if you tell a lie in court?

Yes.

Then we are agreed.

For simplicity's sake,
let us stick to the following.

When I ask you, you answer.

And when I ask you, accused,

you answer.

Yes, Your Honor.

So...

How long have you been engaged?

Who shall answer now, Your Honor?

Write it down on a piece of paper.
And you too, Mr. Taylor.

Yes, Your Honor.

Two years.

Two...

months.

I see, altogether that makes
two years, two months.

Is that how it is?

No, that's not it.

We've been together for two years,
But, officially engaged for two months.

When his Honor asks how long
we've been engaged, you ass,

he means officially.

Just you wait until we get home!

Silence!

You make a perfect match.

Accused,

if you are the fiancee
of this excellent young man,

why didn't you refer to him just now?

Oh, I thought it would harm his position
if his bride was found homeless.

Commits vagrancy!

Be quiet!

So why did you commit vagrancy.

I don't want to talk about it.

What a trick!

You keep your mouth shut!

If you keep your bride
waiting two years,

you have to expect all kinds of things.

To my mind two years is an
indecently long period of engagement.

We were going to get married
very soon, Your Honor.

When? In the course
of the next two years?

But no, Your Honor,
in the course of the next two days.

So fast?

Yes. Tomorrow, or the day after.

Today, perhaps.

If it wasn't so late today,
I would get married today.

What time is it?

Go see if the justice of the peace
is still in the building.

It's easier if we take care of this
at once, then I can close the case.

Why should I keep you here
for eight days.

But we don't want to
cause you any unnecessary trouble.

Not at all, it's a pleasure.

Are you feeling ill?

- No, Your Honor.
- It caught him by surprise.

Whether today, tomorrow or
the day after, what's the difference?

No difference at all.

You have your documents with you?

No. Heavens, I don't have them with me.

Of course not, I have them.

Mr. Lion.

May I introduce you, Mr. Lion,
Mr. Taylor, Miss Ann Garden.

Where are the witnesses?

I'm a witness, you're a witness,
fill that out in the meantime.

- Ann Garden, are you willing
to marry Gil Taylor? - Yes.

- Gil Taylor, are you willing to enter
into marriage with Ann Garden. - Yes.

I hereby declare you
lawfully wedded husband and wife.

Congratulations, Mr. Taylor,
congratulations, Mrs. Taylor.

Congratulations.

Five dollars.

The case of Ann Garden
is closed due to the marriage

of the accused to an honorable man,

which makes it unlikely
that she will repeat the offense.

Next case.
Here are your documents.

Have you got nothing to tell me?

I do.

Then say it.

I'm hungry.

Are you used to eating
a warm meal in the evening?

Yes.

Please.

- Lobster?
- No.

- Escargots?
- No.

- Oysters?
- No.

- Or perhaps you like caviar?
- Yes. How much is it?

Five dollars.
- Good, then bring me a herring.

I thought you wanted a warm meal?

- With a baked potato.
- Very well.

- Same for me.
- To drink?

- Milk, please.
- Beer.

Isn't that a somewhat
frugal wedding feast?

I like it.

Me too.

- May I say something?
- Please.

It's probably silly,

but I'm still waiting
for you to say thank you.

- Me too.
- Then why don't you say it.

- Me? You should say thank you.
- Why me?

And why me?

- Because I got you out of this mess.
- But I got you out too.

If I hadn't lied, you'd have
gone to prison for vagrancy.

And you for lying,
if I hadn't lied too.

But I lied for your sake.

- I for your sake.
- I even married you.

- And I married you.
- Without knowing you!

- I don't know you either.
- Without knowing if I like you.

I don't like you either.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Here you are.

I've lost my appetite.

May I peel you a potato anyway.

Now that I find charming.

- You are a poet, after all.
- Yes.

There you go.

- Why are you doing that?
- What?

What you are doing. You do something
nice, then something nasty follows.

- While you're nasty the whole time.
- I'm always nice to you.

- You think so?
- I think I'm charming.

Well, I'm glad to hear that.

Or should I have declared my love to you
right there in the courtroom.

- No, but in the street or here...
- Quite a speed you're moving at!

But in the street or here you could
have said something nice to me.

Instead you waited the whole time
for me to say thank you.

- Quite a speed, too.
- I'm a poet after all.

There you go.

Stop that!

- What?
- This buffoonery about the poet.

- Who's a buffoon?
- You are.

- You said you were a poet!
- And you said "There you go".

- There you go!
- So there you go. Check, please.

- And what now?
- Now we are going home.

- That should be cozy.
- Very! Nice marriage I got into.

- Congratulations.
- Thanks. - Yes, please.

Shut up. Oh, I see.
Two baked herrings with potato.

Baked potatoes with herring.

Two baked times with herring potato,
now I'm all nervous. One beer, one milk.

- Are you not well, Sir?
- No, married.

- Thanks for the tactful remark.
- You're welcome.

- Strange. When we weren't married,
I liked you better.

Same here.

I'd be happy to relieve you of
my company if I only knew where to go.

I see.

Why, I see?

You become fearful as
the night begins.

Why? Since you can't stand me,
you won't do anything to me anyway.

That I don't know yet.

Why, oho?

The fact that we are married
doesn't give you the right to touch me.

I'm a respectable girl.

First of all I can't recall having
expressed the wish to touch you.

Second, the fact that we're married of
course gives me the right to touch you.

- And third, I will touch you!
- You won't!

I will, and to punish you
for your bad manners,

I will only touch you
when you ask me to.

Well before that happens,

you'll have a beard
long enough to cover yourself with.

Then perhaps we will both
be covering ourselves with it.

- You're a nasty person!
- I'm a poet.

I'll show you what a poet is.

I'm not going home with you.

Why not? I told you I wouldn't
do anything to you before you ask me.

Are you afraid that
it could happen so soon?

That sounded very unnatural.

This is my door.

- Our agreement stands!
- Of course.

So, how do you like my dwelling?

Very nice.

- Strangely tidy for a bachelor.
- Well, that will change now.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Do you want to sleep in the bed
or on the sofa?

In the bed.

What a happy coincidence.
That's where I sleep too.

- Then I'll sleep on the sofa.
- That's what I thought.

Take off your clothes. There's the
shower, where you can wash thoroughly.

I always wash thoroughly.

- Here are pyjamas.
- Thanks.

Mr. Gil Taylor.
I have thought about it.

I would like to thank you now
for being kind enough to marry me.

Miss Ann Garden.
Now I myself cannot help but declare

that I too am touched that you
accepted my proposal so, so readily.

In novels things are written

Which happen here and there

And some of them are funny,

I like them very much.

Just yesterday I read

About two lovers

As they never existed

And who were very strange.

Miss Nobody loves Mr. So-and-so

She is so happy when he is near.

The two are living in a castle
in the clouds called Nowhere

In the land of dreams
on the golden lake.

Anyone could be as happy as this couple

But, alas, such things happen
only in fairy tales.

Miss Nobody loves Mr. So-and-so,

How nice it would be
if I was this Miss Nobody.

It's a male.

- Do you read before sleeping?
- Yes.

- Here.
- Thanks.

- A cigarette?
- No thanks.

Go ahead and smoke,
doesn't bother me at all.

Thank you.

Coffee?

No thanks.

A lady visitor.

Come in.

Kitsch.

Love leading to marriage.

Not very original.

Do you think it's possible
that our marriage will lead to love?

It's possible, but highly unlikely.

Why? Statistically speaking, most
marriages of convenience turn out happy.

Is ours a marriage of convenience?

No. But it isn't a love marriage.

No. A special case.

And how do you think it will end?

Perhaps in divorce.

That means a happy ending.

Good night.

Good night.

MARRIAGE AT FIRST SIGHT

EXPRESS MARRIAGE
AT SMALL CLAIMS COURT

GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?

SENTENCED TO MARRIAGE
FOR VAGRANCY

JUDGE AS MATCHMAKER

- Hello Gil!
- Harvey!

- I'm so happy for you!
That was splendid! - I owe it to you.

I kiss your heart.

Gil Taylor.

- Oh, that's you.
- Uh-huh.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

- You're to go see the boss immediately.
- Ha-ha, I should think so.

- Hello, Gil!
- I have no time, my dear boys, no time.

Mr. Manning.

Mr. Taylor.

- Have you read all of these?
- Yes.

- Great, isn't it?
- Yes.

The best Monday story
we have had for years.

- Yes, I am proud of it myself.
- I bet you are.

- Have you read the Morning Post too?
- No.

- And you won't.
- Why not?

- Because there's nothing in it.
- Why?

That's what I'm asking you.

Mr. Taylor,
have you ever seen a reporter

who makes a story
from which all New York papers profit,

with one exception,

and that is the paper
for which this reporter works?

Because this genius of a reporter
forgot to inform his own paper.

- Have you ever seen such an idiot?
- No.

I have, but I don't want
to see him any more. You're fired.

- Mr. Manning...
- Mr. Taylor!

What's going on.

Fired.

- No.
- Yes.

No, I tell you, we will fix it.
We're coming for dinner later.

- For what dinner?
- At your place. You're married, right.

- Greetings to your wife.
- Heartfelt ones.

- Hello.
- Hello.

Oh, what lovely flowers. We'd better
place them in this vase right away.

- Flowers, where?
- You haven't got any?

No.

Well, I just thought,
on our wedding day...

Oh yes, I forgot.
But I brought something else.

Look, here. And here.
That's us.

But I don't look like that.

No, that's not you. That's the vanished
niece of the millionaire. That's you.

What did your boss say to that?

He said it was great.

In all newspapers?

Almost all.

Of course he gave you a promotion?

Of course. He certainly moved me.

In any case we had
a thorough discussion.

Besides, my friends are
finalizing all the business matters.

Who?

Frank and Stoddard. Two great guys.
You'll meet them very soon.

Where?

Here. They're eating with us.

- Listen, that's not a nice thing to do.
- Why not?

What husband surprises his wife
with guests at the last minute?

What wife is surprised
when guests come on the wedding day?

If I don't bring any flowers,
at least I have to bring guests.

And what will the guests eat?

Is that the husband's concern?

You're right. I'll buy some canned food.
Something from the food court.

Nothing from a court.
Don't mention the court to me.

That's Stoddard, that's Frank.

- I'm Ann.
- Hello.

Thank you. I already know you very well.
Gil has told me much about you.

Don't believe a word.

- Good things.
- I see.

So, don't make smart conversation,
open the bottles.

- Madam.
- Thank you.

How did it go with Manning?

Good.

Did you talk to him?

Yes, we're missing a glass, Stoddard.

Everything OK?
- Great, we're staying together.

I knew it.

Didn't I tell you, Ann,
what great guys they are.

You can count on them.

Really, boys. I hate to say it,
but I admire you.

Careful, not so fast.

Yes, I admire you for
your practical nature, for your ability

to take care of real things in a real way.
I only have one foot on the ground,

and the other is in the clouds.
While you are always...

Yes, we really grab it
before we throw it.

Right! And that impresses me
in Manning as well.

A great guy, I tell you.

- Eh, where was I?
- With one foot in the clouds.

Right. And that's what you can't do.

You stick to the earth.
I'm living in higher regions.

Floating in other spheres.

I dream.

I hear the fluttering of wings.

Then, goddammit, things can happen
like what happened yesterday.

I beg your pardon.

Well, I'll go get something to eat.

How lucky you are!

- Yes, you certainly are.
- I am.

How did it go?
- No, no, Mr. Poet,

we're not talking about business
for a change, but about your wife.

Dear Gil, we drink to
this sweet and charming creature.

You are aware that this
good fortune has come to you

as unexpectedly as it was undeserved.

They say, seek and you shall find.

You idiot, of course,
found without seeking.

- Do you like her?
- She's wonderful, charming!

So, how did it go with Manning?

You went in.

Yes, and we went out again too.

One thing after another.
You gave him a piece of your mind?

Of course I didn't hold anything back,
as you can imagine.

I said: Mr. Manning, you are a pig.

You didn't exactly say pig.

Well, I...

I said. Mr. Manning, I always
knew you to be a man of honor.

That's the same after all.

Yes, and then? And then?

And then Manning bowed.

Then we spoke about
our old acquaintance,

about our many years of undisturbed,
successful work together, and he smiled.

Quite charming, you have to
admit that, right, Frank?

Yes, quite charming.

And then we started talking about you.

And I have to say, I've never seen
a person turn yellow so quickly.

And then he said, gentlemen,
I'm very flattered by your high opinion.

But if you should make
the slightest attempt

to talk me into hiring
a complete idiot like Gil Taylor again,

then I would know definitively
what to think of you.

- He said that?
- Yes, very simply.

Yes.

And then you got up.

Then I got up.

And then I said:

Mr. Manning...
that's all wrong, I was still sitting

and said Mr. Manning,
you know that this poor boy

was drawn into this
only by our prank.

By your prank?

You see, Manning was just as surprised,
only a little more yellow.

What, what?

He didn't send me
to the small claims court?

- No.
- Well, that is...

Screamingly funny, right?
Manning laughed too.

- He laughed.
- Yes, he laughed tears.

Yes, he does have a sense of humor,
there's no denying it.

Then he said. Gentlemen,

that's another
wonderful Monday story.

That's the kind of people I need.

And there I saw light,
I seized the moment and said:

Mr. Manning, if Gil goes, we go too.

You said that?

Yes, I said that.

- And then what did Manning say?
- Manning said. Go ahead.

And then?

And then we went,
and now we are here.

Men of action!

He does have a sense of humor.

Cheers, men of action!

- Please write it down.
- For whom, please?

- Oh, that's you!
- Yes.

- Congratulations, Mrs. Taylor!
- Thank you.

My husband received a promotion.
- Congratulations again!

- Congratulations from me too.
- Thank you.

I wish I had a chicken.

I wish I was a chicken.

- Shh! He's making a poem.
- I wish I were a chicken.

I wish I were a chicken.
I wish I were a chicken,

I wouldn't have much to do

I'd lay just one egg before noon,
And I'd be free in the afternoons.

If you say afternoon,
you must say before noon as well!

- What did I say?
- You say in the morning.

Well, if he lays his egg in the morning,
the time 'til noon is gone anyway.

I wouldn't have to go
to the office any more.

- I'd be stupid but happy.
- No one disagrees with that.

I wish I were a chicken,

I wouldn't have much to do

I'd lay just one egg every day,
And on Sundays sometimes two.

Men don't get off easy in this world
Their lot is to fight

And if they finally achieve something
Their wives take it away

They live a hundred years at most
And only if they get a good start

And have been very diligent
They end up with a long beard.

I wish I were a man,
How great I'd have it then.

I wouldn't have a thing to do
but to relax

It is a fact, we know
That women have more brains

But I would gladly pass this up,
Stupidity is no shame.

That goes too far,
there's going to be a row

this disgrace calls for revenge!

Oh please please please
please please please please.

No, I wish I were a man
How happy I'd be then.

For only men alone can be
The kings of creation.

Thank god, thank god, thank god!
Thank god, thank god, thank god!

Eggs sometimes become rare
And then their prices rise,

Hence the chicken is a great star
whom all appreciate.

And if sometimes I don't feel like

Being an intelligent person

Then a wish arises in my heart
And I confess.

I wish I were a chicken,

I wouldn't have much to do

I'd lay one egg before noon,
And I'd be free in the afternoons.

I wouldn't seek in this world

For fame or for riches,

And if I found the winning ticket,
I would simply eat it.

I wouldn't have to go
to the office any more

I would be stupid but happy.

I wish I were a chicken,

I wouldn't have much to do

I'd lay just one egg every day,
And on Sundays sometimes two.

I wish I were a chicken
Then I would fly to Munich

and pour four liters of pale ale
in the Hofbrauhaus.

I wish I was Viennese
I would keep a servant

Who would carry, oh what joy,
my cheese strudel after me.

I wish I were Clark Gable
with a mustache and a sable

I would be - hip, hip, hurray! -
the hero of the USA, bah.

I wish I were Mickey Mouse
I would look very funny

I would play mischief all the time
And live in a mouse hole.

I wish I was, I wish I were,
I turn it over in my mind,

But there's no point in wishing
I'll still remain what I am.

I wish I were a chicken,
I wouldn't have much to do

I'd lay just one egg every day,
And on Sundays I'd be free.

- May I?
- Please.

Bravo!

Breast or thigh.
- Thigh, please.

Breast, please.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

- Back, with the rear, please.
- Ah.

Thank you. The green rear light too.
- You're welcome.

Speaking of chicken.

What are we going to do
with our afternoon off?

I thought you had to go to the office.

Oh, no one is obliged.

- Why, don't you want to.
- Well, we're not allowed to.

Dear Ann, it's futile
to keep it a secret from you any longer.

All three of us have been fired.

Yes.

Why?

I because I didn't bring in my report,
and these two, because they stuck by me.

Steadfast and faithful.

So you're jobless?

Only for the time being.

- Why, wasn't that gentle enough?
- Speaking of chicken - Idiot!

- It's all my fault.
- Oh, now it gets even better.

Have I forced myself
on you or you on me?

If you hadn't lied in such a decent way
I'd be in prison now.

Well, and instead you're married.

That isn't any worse either.

It's nice you've not lost
your sense of humor,

but can't we talk seriously just once?

Finally.

I'm leaving.

I see. You say that so easily.
Nothing difficult about it for you.

Can't you understand that
I can't be a burden on you any longer?

You forget that we're married.
I'm responsible for you.

Really it's our fault.
We sent Gil to the small claims court.

It's Hopkins's fault.

If he hadn't been drunk, we
wouldn't have had to send a substitute.

- So alcohol is to blame.
- Right.

Who was it who lifted prohibition?

Roosevelt! But you can't
hold him responsible after all.

We have just established without
a doubt that none of us is to blame.

We have simply become victims
of political machination.

How much money
do you need for a divorce?

- For what divorce?
- For our divorce.

Ann wants to divorce me.

Why?

- I think you're a very good match.
- I think so too.

Perhaps she's right.

She needs a guy
with muscles to protect her.

I'm a poet. Look at her,
how tender she is.

See. She could spend the night
in the shadow of a telegraph pole.

Why don't you just say
that I'm too skinny for you.

I didn't say that you were skinny,
I said you were tender.

- It's the same thing.
- It's not.

My beefsteak can be thick
but still tender.

I'm not your beefsteak.

But I'd still like to eat you up.

- I am tough.
- I know.

But I have good teeth.

I can see that.

Enough!

Start your love scenes
when you're alone.

Wait a moment!
How much money do we have?

Don't all shout at once,
one after the other.

Put it all on the table,
move away from there a bit.

Please, you'll be the cashier.
Here's thirteen dollars.

And five, makes eighteen.

And I borrow two from you,
so twenty.

What do you want it for?

The races!

Albatross, Diana, Lightning Boy, Sun Sail,
Zeus, Satan, Thunderbolt, Little Devil!

- Don't curse!
- And we'll put everything on Virgin.

Well, Virgin is always a risky thing.

- Races. Boring as hell.
- Have you ever been there?

No, what for, I already know
one of them will finish first.

- 12, 13, 14, 1500
- Ok, now we stop.

Stop. When we're having such a streak.
Everything on 7! All on the Virgin.

- Who's in the lead?
- Who's in the lead?

Satan's in the lead!
Satan's in the lead!

Satan, Satan, Satan!

Can you see where Virgin is?

At the back, great!

Why great?

They're saving her strength.

Satan, Satan, Satan, Satan!

Satan!

- But that isn't our horse.
- That doesn't matter. Satan, Satan!

What's going on with Virgin,
are they still saving her strength?

Satan takes the lead!
Satan! Satan ahead!

- How much had we won?
- $1,500.

- And what did we put on Virgin?
- $1,500.