Girl Asleep (2015) - full transcript

Elliott.

- At least I've got manners, Steven.

Greta.

Greta, rig ht?

- Yeah.

- That's a good name.

What's it short for?

Gretel?

Margareta?

Or just Greta?

You know, as in short for Greta?



Right, cool.

I'm Elliott,

Are you 14?

- Yeah.

- Snap, me too!

14 is good, huh?

But I'm seriously looking forward to 15.

I think 15's gonna turn a corner.

It's gonna be so awesome.

It's gonna herald the dawn of a new era,

or something like that.

Are you from around here?

- No, we just moved.

- Cool, right, yeah, awesome.



'Cause I am.

You know, from around here.

I know pretty much everything
there is to know about

around here.

I know the population, elevation,
average rainfall, climate,

local industries.

You know, that sort of thing.

- Elliott, Elliott,

Elliott!
- Whatever, Steven!

So, do you have any brothers?

What about sisters?

Do you have any sisters?

- Yeah.

- Oh, awesome.

Sisters are the best,

What about friends?

Do you have any friends?

'Cause we can be friends,

If you want.

I'm pretty non-judgmental, you know.

I'm usually happy to just
go with the flow, actually.

I find that's the best way
to be friendly with people.

I've got six guinea pigs.

I count them as good friends,

but their lifespan tends
to hamper things a little.

- Oh no, please!

- So what do you reckon?

Should we just hang out or something?

We don't have to,

I just I haven't got much to do, so.

- Sure.

"Really?

- I guess.

- Oh, awesome.

Good choice'

I like your thinking.

We should get a donut.

We should totally celebrate
this with a donut.

Okay.

- Wait here'

Just wait here!

Hey.

You're hanging out with us.

We've taken quite a shine to you.

I...

- Ssh shh shh!

We like you, new girl.

Don't spoil it now by speaking.

He's not invited.

Greta!

Greta, time!

Greta!

Coming!

- Pencil, quick!

- Oh, there's eyeliner in my bag.

Se's home.

- What do you call this, Genevieve?

What the hell do you call this?

6:24.

- Don't speak to your mother like that!

Hey.

Give her these, will ya?

See ya, babes.

I don't know why you think

this behavior is acceptable.

I raised you better than this.

What, than to be a slut?

Oi, watch it!

You think you can
just throw yourself on anyone?

- Conrad!

Hey.

Have you, um,

have you heard of that new
movie, what's it called?

Oh, um, ah, Constipation.

- No.

- Mm, it's 'cause it hasn't come out yet.

I saw Diarrhea, though.

- Oh, enough!

- It got leaked early.

- We're still eating!

- Seven, definitely a seven.

- Well, hey, I haven't
got a seven in a while.

I'll get it.

- If it's for me, don't answer it.

Oi, come on, lights out.

Aye, aye'

Comfy?

Goodnight, sweetheart.

- Come on.

So anyway.

I suggested she should
use more tongue next time,

if she wants that to work.

Especially on Derek.

"Really?

'You?

- No, 'cause Dad came home,
and we had to go downstairs

and pretend nothing was happening.

Didn't we, Amber?

- That's full on, hey?

- Not really.

What do you normally do?

What?

- More tongue, or less?

"Me?

It depends, I guess.

Really?

On what?

- Whether I feel like it

OY DOI-

- Hey, I can't remember.

Are we going skating with
the guys later this week?

I think so.

- Ooh, we should.

You should come too,

I could introduce you to Derek

if you feel like it.

Or not.

- Awesome, that, that sounds awesome.

I'm not feeling so great.

Have you got your period?

- Yeah, I've just, I've
gotta find a toilet.

- What about that one?

Hey, Elliott!

Hey.

- I'm sorry about before.

They totally put me on the spot.

- That's cool, I get it.

- If you're still interested,

did you want to hang out?

- Oh, crap!

I hate those dogs.

That's where the triplets live.

They always do that.

- So did you wanna hang out?

- Are you kidding?

Of course I wanna hang out.

- I think my place is down this way.

- That's so funny.

You don't even know where you live!

- Greta?

Is that you?

- Mum, this is Elliott.

Elliott, this is Mum.

Hello there, Elliott.

Hello, Mrs. Driscoll.

I love your house.

It's gorgeous.

- Well thank you, Elliott.

That's, that's lovely of you to say.

- Holy crap balls!

Is that you?

You're so cute!

Oh.
- Come on.

- Can I get you kids anything?

- Whoa!

You've got plastic horses?

- Yeah.

- I can't believe it.

I love plastic horses.

Really?

- They're like almost the
best thing in the world.

I've got plastic pigs at home.

I collect plastic pigs.

Really?

Did you make these?

- Yeah.

- How do you do that?

Those folds are so freaking little.

- See these?

They're from my penpal in Finland.

- Finland?

Oh my God, that is so freaking exotic.

- I know.

We've been writing to each other for ages.

Her name's Greta too.

We love calling each other Greta.

- Oh, hello Greta!

- Oh yes, hi Greta.

- How are you today, Greta?

- I'll read you one.

"Dearest Greta,

"how are you in the
land of sunshine, Greta?

"Better, Greta, than freezing
in the winter of Helsinki.

"I wish I was there, Greta."

- Oh my God, she is so awesome.

- I told you.

- Keep going.

- Oh.

"I've sent you a copy
of my favorite picture.

"It's a Huldra,

"a wild warrior girl who lives
amongst the trees in Finland

"and can never be tamed,

"If you meet one walking in
the woods, you must be careful,

"for if you are mean to her,

"she will punish you with
her leather fist of fury."

- Whoa, hot.

- Can I show you one more thing?

- Yeah!

- My mum gave it to me
on my fifth birthday.

It was hers when she was little.

Ah, be careful.

It's really old.

You don't want to get a splinter.

I used to imagine that it
was from a faraway realm.

Cool.

- A realm where anything could happen.

Filled with mystical creatures

and stuffed with untold treasures.

- Whoa, sounds like the Vatican.

- And that the magic inside this tune

kept the entire realm safe
from the dangers that lurked

beyond its borders, hidden in the shadows.

It's my most favorite thing in the world.

That was a longtime ago.

I was just a kid back then.

- Lucky you're not a kid anymore, hey?

No, seriously, your room is so awesome.

It's easy with you, Greta.

Who needs those other idiots in our year?

I'm glad you're my friend.

- Yeah, me too, Elliott.

Me too.

- You kids all right in here?

- We're doing great,
thanks, Mrs. Driscoll.

- Wonderful, that's just wonderful.

You should stay for tea, Elliott.

I'm making Chinese.

"Really?

I love Chinese,

- What?

This is an excellent beef

and black bean sauce, Mrs. Driscoll.

What cut did you use?

- Um, chuck, I think.

Chuck, delicious.

- How do you like your school, Elliott?

- It's not too bad when
you get the hang of it.

- That's wonderful,

How do you think Greta will go?

- Mum.

- She'll blitz it, no question.

- Greta's had her fair share
of problems at school before,

Elliott.

That's why we're asking.

"Really?

With like older kids?

- Ones her own age, too.

- Um, can we just eat
and not talk, please?

And
how old are you, Elliott?

- I'm 14.

I'll be 15 in December.

I can't wait.

- Greta's turning 15 soon.

- Hey, you should have like
an awesome party or something.

That'd be so awesome,

- No, it wouldn't.

- Conrad?

Can you help me with the
pudding for a second?

- Good shot'

You should play hockey.

She needs encouraging.

She needs to come out of her shell.

Janet, no!

Oh, come on.

We need to strike while the iron's hot.

'No!

No, I don't think ifs a good idea.

- She's ready.

She just needs a bit
of a nudge, that's all.

- Who needs a nudge?

What are you talking about?

- Fudge.

Just need some fudge,
but we don't have any.

Do we, Conrad?

- No.

No fudge here.

- Hey, the bell has gone, move!

- Sorry, Miss Shitstick.

- Excuse me?

What did you say?

- Shiswick,

I said, sorry Miss Shiswick.

Jesus!

- Come on, Gen, I'm gonna
get busted if I'm late.

- No, we wouldn't want
her to get busted now,

would we babes?

- No, she's definitely not ready for that.

- Pink slip, office, now.

- Awesome, thanks.

- Don't worry, the day's
about to get shittier anyway.

- Ah, hello, yes!

With bells on,

This is gonna be so awesome.

I'm gonna wear a suit!

Oh God!

Oh God!

- It's just a little celebratory
get together, that's all.

- But I don't want a party.

- Oh, just be grateful, will you?

I never got offered anything
when I was your age.

All I got was, "Oh, which
Pizza Hut do you wanna go to?"

- And what's wrong with Pizza Hut?

The have puzzles on the place mats.

That's very clever.

- What's all the hubbub in here?

Oh, Jesus,

put some clothes on!

- I told you I didn't want a party.

- We just want to meet more
of your friends, that's all.

Show you off a little.

You're becoming a beautiful young woman,

but you always hide your
light under a bushel.

- What?

- I'll get you a new dress,

and we'll get your hair and makeup done.

We can all do it!

- She doesn't need too much
gussying up though, does she?

Not my little girl.

- Mum, please don't do this.

- It's important.

I just want you to come out
of your shell a little more.

It'll be good for you.

But...

- No buts'

It's happening, all right?

End of story.

Dad, she's not
even listening to me.

- I think you're overreacting
a little bit, pumpkin.

I'm not overreacting!

- You are,

- Do you wanna destroy my life?

I don't want a party!

- Your mum's already
gone to a lot of trouble.

- Neither of you are listening!

Turn it down a bit, please.

'No!

Get this through your thick skulls!

I don't want a party!

- Greta!

- No fucking party, all right?

- You okay?

- No.

- What's going on?

Come on.

I hate seeing you like this, pumpkin.

I miss my happy little girl.

You remember her?

Hmm;

Where'd she go?

She's still here.

- Look, in the end it's up to you,

but it'd mean the world to your mother.

She's only trying to help.

Mmm.

Hmm;

Just think about it,

I'm sure you'll feel
better about it later.

If you push her.

'Stop it!

- Then she'll treat you
- I said

- The same way Gen does.
- Stop it!

She's not ready for this.

She doesn't want a birthday.
- Oh, yes, yes,

and you know what she want's,. Do you?

Don't touch me like that!

- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- You know I hate it.

Well, am I that

repulsive, am I?
- I can't talk to you.

Well, if I
disgust you that much.

I am not talking to you.

I am not.

- Hello?

Don't you dare!

What else can I do?

How dare you say that to me?

Jesus. You
can be so cold sometimes.

Oh, this again!

I'm just trying to tell you.

I don't want to hear anymore.

Oh, great.

I've had it, I've had enough.

You're just gonna
freeze me out then?

- I'm sorry about before.

I wasn't doing it to be mean.

- I know.

And you're right.

I want the party.

You won't regret this, darling.

You won't regret this one little bit.

- Greta, Greta, get out here!

What do you think?

Hey?

Huh?

Huh?

- Genevieve, give me a hand
with these decorations,

Wi“ you?

They're not gonna hang
themselves now, are they?

- I'm making a playlist, Janet.

- Oh, none of that Benwit
Tremit rubbish, please.

- It's Benoit Tremet.

- It's way too sexualized for my liking,

thank you very much.

- What's wrong with a bit of sexy?

Where do you
want me to put this, Janet?

- Oh, yeah, um, yeah, just
put that outside, Adam,

thank you.

- Sweet.

- Conrad!

Did you get the ice?

- Sorry?

What was that?

Ice!

- Yeah.

Ice.

What are you doing?

Are you okay?

- I should never have agreed to this.

- Well, you remember my 15th.

Be careful.

Weird shit can happen.

Case in point.

Come on.

- Oh, stop it.

- You do not look your age, Janet.

- Oh!

- Seriously, you two could be sisters.

Oh!

Oh.

Give me that.

Ah.

- Oh, hey, babes.

You're not
flirting with my mum, are you?

- Totally.

All the ladies in your family are hot.

- I have a husband, you know.

- I think I just threw
up a little in my mouth.

- Can we keep moving, please?

Bloody hell!

- What have ya done?

- Who put the mousse on top of the ham?

- It wasn't set yet!

Why were you moving it?

- All I did was open the bloody fridge!

It's not my bloody fault!

- I don't have time for this!

- Ah!

- Tada!

- Oh, Mum, no, please, no.

I don't want to,

Mm-mm.

- So.

What do you do?

- I'm in carpet.

- Yeah, right.

Carpet.

Like shag pile?

- That's one of our lines,

- I hope you're both sitting down.

Ready?

What?

I look horrible, don't I?

- Whoa'

- You look beautiful, darling.

You're so grown up.

- You're beautiful.

- Whoa'

You...

- Don't say another word,

or I will seriously punch
you in the frigging balls.

None of this was my idea.

They've painted me up like a stupid doll.

I don't even like wearing dresses.

You can speak you know?

- But you said you were
gonna punch me in the balls.

- You don't have to be
so literal, Elliott.

- Good, 'cause I value my texticles.

I just feel

set upon, you know?

- Yeah, sure.

- I told them I didn't want a party.

I didn't want people I hardly knew here.

I mean, they'll take one look at me

and think I'm a complete deadshit moron.

- Probably.

Hey.

What do you think of my suit?

- It's nice.

I'd much rather wear that than this.

Seriously?

Yeah, I mean you
might even get lucky tonight.

- With who?

I hear Denise
Mackel might be coming.

She's got her eye on you, you know?

- Which one?

Denise Mackel's got crazy eyes.

- Greta?

Oh my Godfather,
people are arriving!

Somebody get that!

- Oh God.

Elliott!

Get in here and help me
with these vol-au-vents.

- Greta, you can do this.

I know you can.

Are you using anchovy paste, Janet?

You need to use anchovy paste,

if you're gonna get that
right kind of salty.

™? I feel real

♪ I feel real

♪ I feel real

♪ I feel real

- Hi, Greta, great party!

Where's the party?

Oh, Mum said I had to get you a present.

It's a cat.

There's a cat in that box.

Have you seen Elliott?

Elliott's dreamy!

And where is he?

In the kitchen, I think.

- I'm gonna try and get
me a piece of him later.

Wish me luck.

Oh my God, Elliott!

I'm gonna put you in a headlock!

Come here, dreamboat!

™? You make me feel

♪ Mighty real

♪ You make me feel

♪ Mighty real

♪ You make me feel

♪ Mighty real

♪ You make me feel

♪ Mighty real

♪ When we get home, darling

♪ And it's nice and dark

♪ And the music's in Vienna

♪ Still you're hot

♪ And you kiss me back

♪ And it feels real good

♪ And I know you love me

♪ Like you should

Elliott!

™? Oh you make me feel

♪ Mighty real

♪ You make me feel

- Hey, Amber,

Jade, Saph.

Ire.

- Sapphire.

You guys came, I, I
didn't think you would.

- To be completely honest
we were a little surprised

when we received our invitation.

Weren't we?

You see, we were under the impression

that you had no interest in us.

You know, as friends.

- Why would you think that?

- We offered you an olive
branch of friendship

and when you decided you didn't want it,

we were a little,

how would you put it, Amber?

Miffed.

- Miffed?

- Miffed, dismayed,

perturbed.

The last one's an adjective.

Really?

- You've been totally avoiding us.

It's kind of upsetting, you know?

- I, I'm so sorry.

I had no idea how you guys felt.

If I'd known, I would have just,

I dunno, invited you guys
to hang out more often.

"Really?

You're not just saying it?

- No way, why would I?

You guys have only ever
said nice things to me.

Well, yeah.

That is true.

We've only ever said nice things.

- Wow, a,

a birthday present.

Well it's your
birthday, isn't it?

- Is it a mix tape?

- Yeah.

I guess you could call it that.

- Thanks'

- You're so welcome, hey.

- It's really nice of
you guys to have come,

and thanks so much for the present.

Really, I mean it.

- Hey, you should put it on.

It's a song.

We wrote it ourself.

Turn it up.

Is it recording?

Okay, ready.

This is for you, Greta.

™? You've got no tits

♪ You've got no tits

♪ No one will ever touch your bits

♪ You think you're so good

♪ You're a frigid bitch

♪ And your friend

♪ Is a homo

♪ Your face looks like a pig

♪ And you wear clothes that make you look

♪ Like a 12-year-old boy

♪ You've got no tits

♪ You've got no tits

♪ No one will ever

♪ Touch your bits

That's for running off
on me and my sisters.

We could've been friends.

Happy birthday, bitch.

- Ladies,

better not scratch my duco.

- What are you doing?

Everyone'; looking for you.

It's your party, you know.

- I know, I, I just needed a breather.

- You got a mix tape?

That's an awesome present.

What's on it?

- You know, just the usual stuff.

- I've got the best present for you.

I'm not gonna give it to you yet, though.

I don't know, maybe I should.

Oh, God.

Deep breath.

Greta, I've been thinking,
like, more than normal.

There's something I want to tell you.

I'm not sure if this is the
right time to bring this up,

but you're my best friend.

You're totally my best friend.

- Yeah?

- Well I'm your best friend too, aren't I?

- You're my only friend, Elliott.

- That's so not true,

Have you seen how many
people there are here?

Doesn't matter.

God, what am I trying to say?

You're my best friend,

and I'd never want to risk our friendship.

I would never want to risk our friendship,

but some things are worth risking.

- What are you trying to say?

- I wanna be more than just friends.

You look amazing tonight.

- What are you doing?

- I've been feeling this way for a while,

and when I saw you in that dress.

Say something will you?
- Well what?

What do you want me to say?

- That you wanna be more
than just friends too?

- Why, why would I do that?

I don't know, I
just thought, 'cause we'd been

hanging out so much.
- Oh, you thought did you?

You thought you'd just come in here,

and I'd throw myself at
your feet, is that it?

- Jeez, Greta, that's a bit harsh.

I'm just saying.

- Then tell me I'm being a bitch.

Go on.

That's what you really
wanna say, isn't it?

- Greta.

- Everyone says you're a homo, anyway.

Why would I be interested
in someone like you?

Go on, tell me I'm being a frigid bitch.

I know you're thinking it.

Oh God!

What the hell?

Ow!

Hey, that's mine, give it back!

I said, give it back!

Give it back!

- Who's a little bolter, hey?

Who's a fast little run-run-runner?

Come on.

- What the hell?

Hey!

- You're not safe here,

Come on!

- What the hell was that thing?

Was it a dog?

Did you kill it?

It was about to attack me, wasn't it?

That was unbelievable.

That was freaking unbelievable.

I can't stop

shaking.
- Shut up!

You're too loud,

This way.

Wash.

It'll put them off your scent.

Du it!

- There's more of them?

It was after me, wasn't it?

- It was hunting you.

- Hunting me?

- From here on in, you
don't leave my side.

Understood?

Come on.

- You live here?

- Why?

- My house is just near here.

There's heaps of houses near here.

No one can just live in a forest.

- I do,

This is my home.

This is my forest.

I know this place, and
you're not a part of it.

So why are you here, then?

You have no idea, do you?

- Somebody stole something from me,

and I came here to get it back.

- You're not ready for
this place, are you?

You're still just a little girl.

- I am not!

- A helpless baby.

- Don't call me that!

"Find the girl with the tiny hands."

- Get ready.

You're going back where you came from.

- It's my gate, it's my back gate!

Run?

- Run!

Get on his back!

Hold on!

Tighter!

- Elliott!

Elliott!

Elliott!

Greta, where are you?

- Elliott!

Elliott!

- Are you okay?

I thought I lost you.

- How'd you get over here?

- I followed you from your house.

Greta, what's wrong?

Get away.

- I don't understand.

Greta?

Get away!

- What's wrong?

It's me, Elliott.

Oh bugger, thought that would work.

No, no, don't be scared.

I only want to talk.

What about this one?

What about this?

I've got bums in my armpits.

Hey, ah, what's that?

What's that behind your ear?

Is it a rose, or what is it?

It's a.

Oh, it was just a fart.

Oh, you should get that checked.

Pretty funny guy, huh?

- What do you want?

Just to be helpful.

That's all.

- You're a freak.

- I'm a freak?

You're the freakin' freak,

ya freaked out freakin' freak face.

- I'm not an idiot.

I saw you before.

- Ah, I don't even know
what you're talking about.

- She stole my music box.

- She wouldn't do that.

- Well where is she?

If you wanna help me,
tell me where she is.

- I can't do that.

Sorry.

- You're wasting my time.

- But I haven't even
shown you my best trick.

Huh, hey, ah, what about this one?

Pull my finger.

- No.

- Yeah, go on, go on, pull it.

Mm, mm, mm.

Owl

Oh,

bugger.

Don't be scared!

I only wanna protect you!

Take ya somewhere safe.

We could have tea parties and dress ups

and play with your horsies.

You love your horsies!

I'm only trying to help you!

Why won't you let me help you?

. Hey, lady!

Have you seen my music box?

Why are you smashing them?

Why?

- Because they were not the right one.

They were not the beautiful song,

the one I remember from my youth,

full of promise and love.

What's happening?

What are you doing to me?

- Us.

- I have to go.

- You and I, we're the same.

You're just like me now.

You're just like me.

You're just like me.

You're safe, I'm here.

I know
this is some scary shit,

but you have to stay strong.

In the end, you're the
only one that can do this.

Greta?

Greta, wake up.

Don't move.

He's behind you to your left.

He thinks you're still unconscious.

"Shh!

When you come to, he's
gonna try and take you away.

But that's not gonna happen, all right?

How do I get past him?

- I'll take care of him.

He won't hurt you,

but they will.

And they're gonna be here any second.

Head east across the river,

Follow the boy and don't turn back, okay?

Take this'

Wrap it tight, it'll protect you.

And when you punch, punch hard.

Ready?

Go!

- No, what are you doing?

No!

"Go!

Run!

- Bonsoir, Greta.

- Benoit Tremet?

I'm sorry, I don't understand French.

- And I don't understand English.

What?

- I'm sorry, Greta, but this is my humor.

Okay.

- Crazy party, huh?

Lucky you fell asleep.

"Me?

- Yes, you.

You are in the snooze mode.

I don't blame you.

Parties can be hell.

I can't be asleep.

- Si.

Like a baby.

- Where are we, then?

- We are in your bedroom.

Just you and me.

- I, I don't understand.

I, I have to find my music box.

- Oh, ma petite.

That song is no good to you anymore.

This song,

my song, can be yours now.

All yours, ma cherie.

- But I don't want your song.

I want my own.

- Mmm.

You look so beautiful in that dress.

Oof.

Track deux,

Now we're talking.

Such incroyable beauty.

I can hardly control my desire

when I see such a beautiful woman.

- This is making me feel uncomfortable.

- Do you feel it too?

I know you do.

You feel it,

Just like I feel it,

You're my best friend

and I never wanna risk our friendship.

- What the hell!

I wanna be more than just friends.

You look amazing tonight Greta.

I wanna touch you allover.

I wanna touch you and kiss you

and make sweet, sweet love.

- This isn't happening,
you're not Elliott!

- Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh.

Listen to your new song, Greta.

Feel it in your heart.

Feel it in your body.

- I don't want this.

- Yes, you do.

You do.

You came through the gate, Greta.

You wanted to be here,

'FUCK you!

- Only if you ask nice.

Now,

I'm gonna make you a woman.

- I'm sorry, Greta.

I'm so sorry!

- So, are you gonna come
rollerskating with us, or not?

Uh-Uh, not this time.

- What if I don't feel like it?

- What do you think pig?

- I don't care what you
guys do to me anymore.

Bring it on, bitches!

™? This is it, folks, over the top

♪ He was sellin' postcards
from a paper stand

♪ A whiskey bottle in his weathered hand

♪ He put his finger on a photo

♪ From an old magazine

♪ And saw himself in the shadow

♪ Of a dream

♪ They found him with his
head inside a tin-pot crown

♪ Told him his feet stank

♪ And took him downtown

♪ Called him agitator, spy, and a thief

♪ Shut him up in solitary third degree

♪ Take a long line

♪ Take a long line

♪ Take a long line

♪ Take a long line

♪ Take a long line

♪ Take a long line

- Give it back!

Are you deaf?

I said give it back!

Now!

Me?

You're me?

All this?

It was you?

- No, silly, it was you.

Can you stay with me till I fall asleep?

You've got a splinter.

Got it.

Hey.

Are you okay?

I know.

I heard.

- I did nothing to them.

- I know.

They're nasty, and they're scared.

- No, they're not.

- Believe me, Greta, they are.

You remember when I was turning 15,

and I stopped talking to everyone?

I don't know what it was.

I just woke up one morning
and things were different.

It was like some new person
had turned up inside my body

and kicked the old one out,

And there was nothing I could do about it.

I know what you're going
through now is shit.

Confusing and you're
pretty much hating it.

You're not alone, all right?

And this?

This never existed.

- Thanks, Gen.

- Come on.

You should go downstairs,

otherwise Adam might crack onto Mum again.

- That was pretty.
- About before.

Sorry.

You go first.

Okay.

You had no right to call me a homo before.

I mean, there's absolutely
nothing wrong with being gay.

I'd be totally fine if
I was, but the point is,

A, I don't think you
meant it as a compliment,

and B, I actually do like girls.

I think about them way too much.

Like six or seven times a day,
I think about girls, and I,

well, wait.
- I get the point.

- Right.

Which brings me to my next point

which is that I declared
my interest for you.

- I'm sorry for what I said.

It was cruel'

- Right.

Good, okay.

I was gonna make that point, too,

which I'm glad you've also made,

already.

You're my best friend.

- That's what I thought.

- But you being my best friend

is the best thing in the world to me.

You're so close to my heart.

- But what I said before, that
kind of changes things now,

doesn't it?

Between us?

- But that's okay, isn't it?

Things changing a bit.

- Yeah, I guess.

So, should we do it?

Should we go in?

- I guess.

Can I ask you a favor first?

- Greta?

Greta!

Greta!

- Oh my God, this is so embarrassing.

I look so much better
in this dress than you!

What was that for?

- I'm glad you're my friend.

Me too.

- Come on.

Oh, there you are.

What in God's name?

Hi, Janet.

- How's it going, Janet?

- I'm not even going to ask.

Quickly, your father's
about to do the cake.

Mum?

. Hmm?

Are you all rig ht?

- Go.

- No, seriously.

Are you all right?

- Of course'

Go on.

- I like the shade of blue.

™? See the girls with shiny faces

♪ Everywhere I go

♪ Something in the way that they move

♪ That worries me so

♪ But I get it right

♪ If it takes all night

- Hip hip!

Hooray!

- Hip!

Hooray!

™? All the way

♪ Sports girls in line marching

♪ See them at play and I

♪ Sports girls in line laughin'

♪ It's always that way

♪ But I don't know what I'll say

♪ What I'll do till she says

♪ I love you

- Hey, I stayed up all night last night.

Really?

- I was wondering where the sun went.

And then it dawned on me.

- Five.

- Five?

Why Only five?

- Can we just not?

Please?

Half an hour, that's all I ask.

™? We all know life's a rough and tumble

♪ Don't let it bring you down

♪ Raise your standards

♪ Fly your plan

♪ The girls are back in
town and it's very clear

♪ Although the end is near

♪ They're gonna see us through

♪ All the way

♪ I get carried

♪ On its way

♪ Feeling like I do today

♪ See my future looking grim

♪ Seems to me I'll never win

- Good donuts,

Donuts are the best, don't ya think?

Awesome, awesome donuts.

™? It could be worse

♪ We could still reverse

♪ We're gonna make it through

♪ All the way

♪ Sports girls in line marching

♪ See them at play and I

♪ Sports girls in line laughin'

♪ It's always that way

♪ But I don't know what I'll say

♪ What I'll do til she says I love you

♪ Watch what you say

♪ Watch what you say

♪ Watch what you say

♪ You've got no tits

♪ You've got no tits

♪ No one will ever

♪ Touch your bits

♪ You think you're so cool

♪ But you're a frigid bitch

♪ And your friend is a homo

♪ Your face looks like a pig

♪ You wear clothes that make you

♪ Look like a 12-year-old boy

♪ You've got no tits

♪ You've got no tits

♪ No one will ever

♪ touch your bits