Gidget Gets Married (1972) - full transcript

After more than a year of engagement, and after Jeff (moondoggie) secures a good job with a large company, he and Gidget set a date for their wedding. After a blissful but all too short honeymoon they set off across country to florida where Jeff's job is waiting for him. Gidget soon discovers, however, that the companies influence extends too far into the personal lives of its employees and she sets about trying to correct things, much to the horror of the companies management.


The Education
of Frances Lawrence.

Only one problem,
most of my friends

wouldn't know
who Frances Lawrence was.

The Education of Gidget.

Elegance just died.

Okay, compromise.

The education of
Frances "Gidget" Lawrence.

Six years
in elementary school...

Six years in junior
and senior high school...


After that, four years

perplexing her professors
at the university.

Sixteen long years
of conditioning, shaping,

growing up, till at least I'm ready for the first grade,

only this time
I'm the teacher.

I'm in charge...

Who am I?Cinderella.

I'm late to the ball.

Remember me
to Prince Charming.

Things have changed

since I was in first grade

This is an experiment...

an open school.

Doors are open...

windows are open...

minds are open.

If the kids are learning
half as much as I am,

we're a smash.

After Hopalong's
finished his snack,

I'd like you
to read a little, Richie.


Miss Lawrence.




Oh! Jeff, I'd like you to meet
some friends of mine.

Hello.Who's he?

He looks like
Prince Charming.

Oh, that's close.

You really want to know
who I am?


I'm the guy your teacher's
going to marry,

glass slipper
or no glass slipper.


How did you manage to get
to Los Angeles so fast?

Impatience and luck.

A buddy of mine
programmed the computer

to cooperate
on my discharge,

and I wangled a jet lift
out of Saigon,

and here I am.
So, what are we waiting for?

Let's get married.

Like when?Like now!


♪ Good morning, love ♪

♪ Make yourself at home ♪

♪ Come morning ♪

♪ The time is right ♪

♪ Every road I follow
Since the world was new ♪

♪ Every doubt I borrowed
Every dream that grew ♪

♪ Brought me to this moment ♪

♪ When a part of me ♪

♪ Becomes a part of you ♪

♪ Good morning, love ♪

♪ Fill yourself with me ♪

♪ Oh I can't wait ♪

♪ Let's begin ♪

♪ Let's begin ♪


My dad teaches
at the university

and I'm afraid,
to a history professor,

we seemed
a little impatient.

We've been engaged
for over a year,

and I'm the girl that doesn't
believe in long engagements.

Still, there are certain
practical considerations.

Free translation,
do you have a job?


You do?I know, surprised me too.

But, in spite of myself,

I did end up with
an engineering degree.

While I was
in the service,

I had a chance to
specialize in aeronautics,

so I applied to
Worldwide Dynamics,

and what do you know?
They hired me.

Where is Worldwide Dynamics?

In Florida.
Town called Woodlake.

So much for practical

Let's talk
about the wedding.

But not too far out.

We could get married
at the beach where we met.

Riding tandem on surfboards.

Only if the surf's up.

It should be informal.

Intimate. But let's not
talk about it.

Let's do it!


My sister Ann was
deliriously happy for us.

And we couldn't stop crying.

The wedding invitations
went out.

The wedding presents
came in.

Oh, that's from
Louie B. Latimer.

Remember my landlord
in Greenwich Village?

Oh, yeah, that nut

who used to be
the kid star in the movies.

He says that candelabra
was part of

the furnishings
in "Dracula's Castle."

It'll be handy if
we can't pay the light bill.

Oh, listen, I want
to thank your buddy Tom

for what he sent us,
but what did he send us?

Well, this is an Air Force
inflatable life raft.

Tom was low in cash,
but he wanted to send something.

you never know

when an Air Force
inflatable life raft

is going to come in handy.


Is this really happening?

We're getting married.I know.

It's a big step.

I just hope I'm up to it.

I don't want to
disappoint you, Jeff.

You won't.


The question of

who was to be
the wedding photographer

was answered by
a long distance phone call

from Louie B. Latimer.

Well, of course I'm coming
to the wedding!

There was a time
when you couldn't

have a wedding in Hollywood
without Louie B. Latimer.

The bridegroom
was expendable,

but not yours truly.

I plan to capture the entire
spectacle on film for you.

Oh, but that's wonderful
of you, Louie B.

Am I ever anything less?

Frankly, I've been
looking for an excuse

to make a pilgrimage
out there.

I want to visit the scenes
of my former triumphs

before they're all supermarkets
or savings and loans.

Well, my dear,
I've got to run.

I'm picketing the Freddy
Bartholomew Film Festival

at the Museum
of Modern Art.

If the public could only see
my screen test

for "Little Lord Fauntleroy..."

Okay, well, listen,

thanks for calling,
and see you soon.

Courage, my dear.




In the ultimate utopia
of Gidget Lawrence Stevens,

there will be only
hellos and hi there's.

no goodbyes.

I just don't have
any talent for them.

But the kids had it
all together as usual.

Their wedding presents
were the best yet.

Gourmet food...

fine art...

elegant home furnishings.

See ya!

Goodbye, Ms. Lawrence.



Richie, aren't you
going to say goodbye?

No, I don't want to.

Oh, well, I don't, either.

Instead, suppose we talk
about the nice hello

you're going to give
your new teacher.

Richie, I have
a big favor to ask.

I need someone to be
the ring-bearer at my wedding.

I don't think I could do it.

Oh, have I ever asked you
to do anything you couldn't?

No, I don't think so.

Listen, there isn't anyone

that could do this
half as well.


Well, if you really need me.


Jeff and I began to believe

the wedding
would never happen.

But the great day
finally arrived.

So, fortunately,
did Louie B. Latimer.

This looks like the place.

We'll shoot from here,

I should be on a crane
for this,

but I'll cut in some outtakes
from "Intolerance"

and open it up.

The ring-bearer, right!


Look at him, Anatole.

Who do you see
standing there?

Richie Coleman.

No, no, me, me,
little Louie Latimer

at the zenith
of my meteoric career.

In my prime,
I was the ring-bearer

at all the top
Hollywood weddings.

One's plenty for me.

The fans didn't care
who got married

as long as
I carried the ring.

Toby Wayne postponed
her wedding three months

till I was available.

Arline Judge wouldn't
think of getting married

unless I was there.

Once Lanny Ross tried
to steal the spotlight.

He's yawning.

I topped him,

did a tango down the aisle
with the flower girl.


I just hope I don't
drop the ring.

A little nervous?

Have you
on-camera jitters?

Backward, turn backward,
oh time in your flight.

It must be held so.

Busby Berkeley
trained me for the role.

One of Peggy Hopkins Joyce's

There was a girl who knew
how to get married.

Head up!
Eyes front!

Just a ghost of a smile,
as if you knew

you were the most important
person in the world.

But I'm not.

Negative thinking!

Repeat after me:

"I am the most important
person in the world!"

I am the most important
person in the world.

And believe it.

All right, now, let's have
a quick run-through.

No, no, hold the cushion
with more reverence,

and please,
just a wisp of a smile,

not a toothy smirk.

we're rolling.




You okay, Dad?

Just allow me a few seconds

to get used to
this new Frances.

I was fooled too,
for a minute.

But it's the same old me,
and whoever I am

or whatever I am,
it's all thanks to you.

I've been thinking about that.

I'm about to hand you over

to the man who's going to be
your husband,

the man who expects you to be
a good and loving wife.

And who have you had to
train you in the wifely arts?

Well, you tried
to help me be

a loving,
considerate person.

Isn't that a big step
towards being a good wife?

I've wanted to do
my best by you, Francie.

I hope I've taught you
some of the things

you'll need to know.

Oh, of course you have,

and I won't let you down, Dad.

Or Jeff, ever.

Here's the irony.

I'm supposed to support you
down the aisle,

and suddenly the old knees
feel double hinged.

Well, lean on me, Dad.

It's your turn.




Move slowly, slowly!

This is a joyful
occasion for us all.

We are to share
with Jeff and Frances

that solemn
and wonderful moment

when they join their hands
and their hearts

in an open testament
of their mutual love.

They wish this commitment
they make,

one to the other,
to be witnessed by us.

May the love
they feel for each other

be strengthened and supported
in their life

by the love all of us
feel for them both.

Please, join hands.

Jeff, do you take this woman
whose hand you hold,

to be your wife,
and do you pledge,

in sickness
and in health,

in good times
and in bad,

to be to her a faithful
and loving husband?

I do.

Do you, Frances,
take this man,

whose hand you hold,
to be your husband,

and do you pledge,
in sickness and in health,

in good times
and in bad,

to be to him a faithful
and loving wife?

I do.

What tokens do you give
to bind these pledges,

one to the other?

Do you give these rings
as tokens

to bind the common pledge
of your love and fidelity?

We do.

To finalize this moment,

Jeff and Frances
wish to share some lines

from a favorite poem.


No man is an island, entire of himself.

Every man is a piece
of the continent,

a part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less...

As well as if
a promontory were.

As well as if a man or of thy friends

or of thine own were.

Any man's death
diminishes me.

Because I am involved in mankind.

And therefore,

never send to ask
for whom the bell tolls.

It tolls for thee.

By the authority
vested in me,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.


The next couple of hours
are a happy golden blur.

Fortunately, we have Louie B's
incomparable record on film.

With a notable assist
from his friend Anatole.

Technically, the film put
the movies back 30 years,

but in terms
of our enjoyment,

it couldn't have been better.



There were times
in the confusion

before the wedding
when I envied Eve.

She and Adam had the first
and best wedding.

Our honeymoon showed me
what it must have been like

in the Garden of Eden,

when there were only
two people in the whole world,

and they happened to be
in love with each other.

And in our case,
lucky enough to honeymoon

in a Malibu beach house
of one of Dad's friends.


♪ Good morning, love ♪

♪ Make yourself at home ♪

♪ Come morning ♪

♪ The time is right ♪

♪ Every road I follow
Since the world was new ♪

♪ Every doubt I borrowed
Every dream that grew ♪

♪ Brought me to this moment ♪

♪ When a part of me ♪

♪ Becomes a part of you ♪

♪ Good morning, love ♪

♪ Fill yourself with me ♪

♪ Oh I can't wait ♪

♪ Let's begin ♪

♪ Let's begin ♪

Our honeymoon didn't end.

We just switched locales, from surfing to station wagon,

from Malibu
to Route 66.

But Mrs. Jeffrey Stevens,
wife and homemaker,

was so eager to take over
from the bride,

we arrived in Woodlake,
Florida, a day early,

and it was an eye-opener.

For one thing,
the town was bigger

and more spread out
than we had expected.

And for another, the area
to which we were directed

must have been conceived
in the notion

that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

It had to have been.

All the houses
were the same.

Why'd you stop?

This is us.

How could you possibly tell?

The number.

4112 Lodge Avenue.

Let's go.

What?Our house!



Oh! Kitchen's small,
but that makes it handier.

Isn't it marvelous?

It's the greatest
empty house I've ever seen.

I know exactly how
I'm going to furnish it.

An ordinary sofa'd
crowd this room.

So we're going to have
twin loveseats right there.

I like the sound of that.Hm.

And a big easy chair
right there for you.

Okay, and a not-so-big
easy chair over there for you

'cause I don't
want to spoil you.

Ooh, our bedroom!


What are you doing?

Seems solid enough
to hold a waterbed.

It's a little too dull
in here, though, so...

well, maybe
some paint...


I'm Tom Blaine,
your neighbor.

Oh.This is my wife, Medley.

How do you do?
I'm Jeff Stevens.

I'm Gidget.

This is Vince.

Hiya, Vince.Hi.

Got any kids?

Not at the moment.


Well, we just wanted
to say welcome

to Woodlake,
Oakdale Division.

Oakdale Division?Like Gaul,

all Woodlake is divided
into three parts.

Poplar Flats, Oakdale
and Cypress Hill.

Are you with
Worldwide Dynamics?

Isn't everybody?

Where are you going
to stay tonight?

There's a nice motel
right down the road.

Oh, great.

Oh, no, I want to stay here,
in our house.

Here?Jeff, the first few months,

humor her.

We're right next door,
if you need anything.

You can borrow
my sleeping bag.

Thanks, Vince,
but, uh, we'll manage.

Would you like a ride
to the plant tomorrow?

That'd be great.
Thank you.

You're on.

I'll see you
in the morning.


I'm glad you're here,

even if you don't have
any kids.

Can't take him anywhere.

So long, Vince.

We can't stay here.

We don't have any lights,
we don't have any bed.


If Dracula could only
see his candelabra now.

Well, let's not invite him
over tonight.


We're home.


Have the vampires
gone jet?

Must be in a landing pattern.

Clear the runway!

I really appreciated

the meaning of "good neighbor" that morning.

Here, want some?


And, so did Jeff.

Bye.JEFF: Bye.

You want me
to help you unpack?

Oh, thanks, Medley,

but you must have
chores of your own.

Sure, but I'd rather see
your wedding presents.


Let's see,
which one'll we...


Good morning, Mr. Ramsey.

come in, come in.

Welcome to
Worldwide Dynamics.

Thank you, sir, thank you.

Why are you here?

I beg your pardon?

Why do you want
to work at Worldwide?

Well, Mr. Ramsey,

I feel the chances
for advancement here...

On target.

Advancement here
is limited only by

the employee's capabilities
and ambitions.

Hmm, not very impressive.

What isn't, sir?

Your college record.

Oh. No, it isn't.

I didn't apply myself
in school, sir,

but then when I went
in the Air Force,

I began to get
everything together.

Late bloomer.

No shame in that.

We're not concerned with
what you didn't do in college.

What interests us
is what you do here and now.

Well, I certainly
want to do my best, sir.

What is your best?

We will find that out
within the next few months.

The best some can manage

is routine work
at the drafting table.

For others,
their capabilities

lead to executive

Well, I think I can do better

than routine drafting, sir,

but I realize it's up to me
to prove that to you.

On target.
You prove it to me.

But don't fall into
the trap of thinking

you can play now

and become dedicated
to your work later.

No, sir.Doesn't work that way.

Get off to the right start
with Worldwide now, today.

Plenty of time
to relax later.

I shall be watching you.


Yes, sir.


Look what I found
in the cupboard!

Oh, that must be Nancy's.

Nancy Lewis, they just
moved out of here last week.

Do you have an address?Oh, sure.

They just moved up
to Cypress Hill.

Steve was promoted
to an executive spot.

Well, then,
we can drop this past.

I want to get the basic pieces
of furniture that we need.

Then we're gonna add
a piece at a time,

as we can afford
what we really want.


I can't hear a word you said.

We're gonna have to
take up sign language.

I said...
didn't they tell you?

Tell me what?


There must be some mistake.

I haven't picked out
any furniture.

The company provides
the furniture.

What company?The company.

They built the houses.

They supply two sets
of standard furnishings

for all the places
in Oakdale,

the "A" color scheme
and the "B" color scheme.

They didn't have a chance
to replace the old color scheme

after the Lewises moved out.


but wait a minute!

I don't want these things,
especially this big couch.

This is 4112?

Well, yes, but I want
to choose my own things

and decorate
my own house.

That's part of
my job as a wife.

It's part of my job
as a mover

to deliver this stuff
to 4112.


GIDGET: I was angry enough to consider

a rear guard action
against the moving men,

and just to see
that I didn't,

Medley persuaded me
to go with her

to Nancy Lewis' new home
in Cypress Hill,

and return the blender
she had left behind.

Wow! This is
a terrific neighborhood!

Thank you.

I'll get used to it.

But I really miss 4112.

The shopping up here

isn't as convenient
as Oakdale,

and the meat at the market's

There's no butcher
like Herman.

The kids don't seem to like
school as well, either.

I even miss having those booming
jets directly overhead.

Tell you what.

You come back to 4112,

and Jeff and I
will move in here.

This is quite a house.

I'd be tempted...
if it were up to me.

Well, we've still got
a lot of shopping to do.

Thanks again
for bringing the blender.

Jeff and I want to have

a housewarming party soon.
It would be great

if you and your husband
could come.

Well, that would be very nice,
but I don't know.

Well, we've got to go.

See you.



I saw to it

that Jeff had a surprise
awaiting him that evening

when Tom drove him home
from work.





I see you've been busy.

I had to do something

to distinguish our house
from 2000 others.

I will not have you
coming home

to the wrong wife.What's with this furniture?

Tell you about it
at dinner.

Jeff dove into his work
with a will.




Don't you think you've
worked long enough?

I just want to finish
these preliminary sketches.

Trying to impress the boss?

On target.

Mr. Ramsey's
favorite expression.

Honey, will you just let me
finish these, please?

Oh, go right ahead,

don't pay any attention
to me at all.

You know something?

You are...

Irresistible?No, persistent.


I let Worldwide Dynamics
have you all day long.

Now I want you back.

If you're afraid of loneliness, don't marry.

And I thought that was just
some bachelor being clever.

Now I think it must have been
written by a woman.

Probably the wife
of a young engineer

at Worldwide Dynamics.

I take it Jeff is
neglecting you?

Oh, no.

Hardly a day goes by
I don't see him in passing.

And on a good weekend,

he sometimes remembers
my name and everything.

Francie, this is
a perfectly normal

new husband
type of symptom.

Jeff's a breadwinner.

He wants to be a good one.

And he thinks
it has to be done right away.

I was so insecure
when I married your mother,

I went right out
and took on two extra jobs.

Honestly, Dad?

Ah, we probably never
would have seen each other

if I hadn't collapsed
of nervous exhaustion.

Well, what can I do?

Be patient.

Let Jeff prove to himself
he can provide for you.

Then gently remind him

that there are things
a woman needs

that his paycheck
can't always provide.

The key word
in the early years of marriage

is patience.

The early years?

Say the first 50.

Thanks, Dad.




When Medley invited us
to a pitch-in supper,

our first party in Woodlake,
Jeff begged off.

He had to work late.

I decided if I was gonna
spend another evening alone,

I might as well be alone
in good company.

Going to Medley's house
is like not leaving ours.

Only the color scheme
was different.

The young marrieds
were all friendly

but the only other single,

Medley's bachelor brother,
was the friendliest.


He was considerate,
witty, attentive,

but he wasn't my husband.

I found myself wondering

if I have a husband.

I have.


Jeff, I'd like you to meet
Medley's brother, Chuck.

Hi, Jeff.Let's go.

Hi, Jeff.

We've got
loads of food left.

Let me fix you a plate.

No, thank you.
Come on, Frances.


There I am working
my tail off at that plant

while my wife's getting on
with some lecherous playboy.

He is not
a lecherous playboy.

If you hadn't been
at the plant,

I would've been
dancing with you.

Which comes first,
your job or me?

Oh, now, that's childish.
That is childish.

I'm working at that plant
for us, for our future,

because I'm trying to be
a good husband

because I love you.There are other ways

of showing you love me
I prefer.

Marriage is work
and responsibility.

It's also being together
and having fun,

and if it isn't,
then it isn't for me.

You're acting
like a spoiled brat.

You're acting
like a senior citizen.

Then why don't you
go back to your playboy?

Why don't you go
kiss a computer?


Go to...

...sleep on the sofa.

I'll sleep where
I darn well please.


It was all my fault.
I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have
gone over there.

I meant that, honey,
about being sorry.

I really am.

I know you've been
bored and lonely.

And it's my fault.

But you got to believe me
when I tell you

I've been working
very hard for us.

You believe that?Mm-hm.

You know, I'm not the
greatest brain in the world.

Says who?Says me.

In college,
I majored in surfing

and minored
in beach picnics.

was just a sideline.

But when I got this job,
I was very lucky.

I really was.

I'm so afraid
I'm going to blow it.

And if I do, well,
we won't live so well

on my take-home pay
as a surfer.

You won't blow it.

How can you?

You're smart,
and you're creative,

and you're dedicated.And you're prejudiced.

The thing is, these first
few months, you see,

I either make it
or I don't.

And that's why I've been
pouring it on

and giving it all I've got.

And shortchanging you.

You understand
what I mean?

Just take time now and then
to say you love me.


Gotta go.

What are you
gonna do today?

I don't know.
Now, you see,

that's the trouble with you.What's the trouble?

You're not committed
to doing anything.

That's why you're bored
and lonely.

Get involved in something.

In what?


Why don't you try

That's what I call
a direct answer.



Good afternoon.Good afternoon.

Could you tell me,

is the City Council
meeting now?

Yes, ma'am.

They're right up there.

Thank you.


You're under arrest
for disturbing the peace.

I said, you're
under arrest for--


I said, you're under arrest
for disturbing the peace.

That's exactly
what I expected.

Then why did you do it?

This is the first step

in my plan to force
the City Council

to stop those jets
from flying over Woodlake.

The Council isn't
likely to do that.

Not when the company
that builds those jets

owns the whole town.

The company that builds
those jets?

Not Worldwide Dynamics?

That's right.

Their aeronautical division's
one of their biggest.

That's the vice president
of the company up there.

Represents Worldwide
on the City Council.

What's his name?


Otis Ramsey.

Lock me up, officer,

and promise not to give
my husband a key to the cell.




Naturally, Otis Ramsey's home
had its own hill,

and it overlooked

Inside, the house
looked even bigger

and felt even lonelier.

Tolerant understanding

is a much more terrible

than angry recriminations.

Jeff behaved as though
it were perfectly natural

for his wife to be arrested
for disturbing the peace

while campaigning to put
his employer out of business.

And ever since Otis Ramsey
asked us to come to his home,

Jeff just keeps
patting my hand,

and looking like Custer
at Little Big Horn.

My dad will be right down.

Thank you.

What's your name?Bob.

Are you the lady
who started the riot?

It wasn't exactly a riot.

Well, just a small one.

I hope you've got
a good lawyer.

Stevens...Ah, Mr. Ramsey.

This is my wife.

How do you do?How do you do?

You know my wife?


From a distance.Won't you sit?

Thank you.

Mr. Ramsey,
I'm very sorry.

Jeff had absolutely nothing
to do with it.

He said,
get involved,

because he's been
working so hard,

and I've been bored and lonely.
I thought,

what can I do
that would be constructive?

Then it came to me,
a campaign

to stamp out
noise pollution.

And we know the rest.

Believe me,

no one is more aware
than I am

of our noise problem
in Woodlake.

I've been pushing plans
to alleviate it for years.

Oh, really?

So, you see, Mrs. Stevens,

we share the same concerns.

I salute your good intentions
and civic consciousness,

but let's face it,

your methods are not
Woodlake methods.

Well, just what
is Worldwide doing

to alleviate the noise?

On target.

Well, put your mind at ease,
Mrs. Stevens.

Experts are coping
with that problem.

Address your
boundless energies

and unbridled imagination
to more suitable projects.

Well, I certainly think
that'll be possible, sir.

I remember when
Otis and I first came here.

Newly married.

He was living
at the plant.

It was a lonely time.

But you survived.

Did you work before
your marriage?

I taught first grade.

They're trying to organize
some activities for children

at the Oakdale Country Club.

Something like that
might interest you.

Well, yes, it would.

Oh, that sounds suitable.

And safe.

Thank you both
for stopping past.

Good luck, Mrs. Stevens.

I'll show you out.Thank you, Mr. Ramsey.

She's neat.

I wish she would decide
to work with us kids.

Even if she does, Bob,

it would be at Oakdale,
not up here in Cypress Hill.


Mrs. Ramsey was right.

The minute I met the kids,

I knew I was
in the right place.

I mean,
we recognized each other.

So, it was no trouble at all organizing the Explorer's Club.

The first thing we decided
to explore were birds.

At least,
that's what I thought.

Ahem, ahem.
Something interesting.

Uh, nothing new.

Well, she is a bird.

Well, why don't we save
that species for later?

To tell an eight-year-old

there are 58 species
of birds in the area

is ho hum time.

To ask that same kid

how many kinds of birds
he can find,

that's the beginning
of excitement.

And education.

Mrs. Stevens?

You know, we're in
Cypress Hill Park?


Should we go back?

Why? It's a beautiful park.

It's full of birds.Hi, Mrs. Stevens.

Hi, Bob.What are you doing up here?

We're checking out

the number of bird species
in Woodlake.

We heard about your club.

Why don't you join us?

Well, I don't know.

We'll share
our field glasses

and the more of us there are,
the more birds we'll spot.

I'm not sure we should.Why not?

Why not!


Sorry I'm late.That's my line.

Not anymore.

Dinner in 20 minutes.

I was at City Hall.

City Hall.
City Hall!

Now what were you doing
at City Hall?

Take it easy.
I was arranging

for the Explorers to tour
the water power plant.

Well, congratulations.For what?

For the absolutely great
adjustment you've made.

Congratulate the kids. They're
the world's best adjusters.

Yeah. Things are shaping up
for me at the plant too.


Mr. Ramsey's experts

don't seem to be
making much progress.

Now, wait a minute.

You're happier you're doing
what you're doing?

I sure am. With these kids,
I really feel like

I've got a toehold
in the future.

One Saturday,

my Explorers took me
to the dry riverbed,

looking for
Indian arrowheads.

While we looked for
souvenirs of the past,

we decided to pick up
the litter of the present

and do our bit
for the future.

Somewhere along the way,

we were infiltrated
by a group of kids

who lived nearby
in Poplar Flats.

So, in just
a couple of months,

our little group
had spread citywide.


Unbeknownst to me, I was making an impression elsewhere

than just with the kids.

Nancy!Hi, Medley.

It's good to see you.

How's Tom and Vince?

Oh, they're just fine.
And your family?

Oh, we're still
trying to adjust.

Medley, don't look
so conspiratorial.

So I live in Cypress Hill

and I come to buy my meat
in Oakdale.

Why shouldn't I?Well, you know.

Herman's the best
butcher in town.

The company's rule--

Is for the company's

What's best for the company
isn't always best for us.

I think we could all
take a lesson from Gidget.

Start questioning a lot of
the company's antiquated ideas.

I'm going to shop
where I please.

If Worldwide Dynamics
doesn't like it,

tough T bone.

Say hello to Herman.

A surprise
birthday party for Jeff?

We'd love to come.

A week from Friday night.

And who else is coming?

Tolsons, Elmores,

Just neighbors.Oh, that's great.

I've got to go start dinner.

Okay. A week from Friday.

Congratulations, Stevens.Thank you, Mr. Ramsey.

Thank you.

Think you deserve
this promotion?

Yes, sir.

I do think I deserve it.[CHUCKLES]

Good man.
No false modesty.

You know, I could have
kept you sweating

in that drafting pool for
another six months or a year,

but who would I be cheating?

Worldwide Dynamics.

We want to put
those executive talents

to work right now.

Well, I'm very grateful, sir.
Thank you.

And I'd like to
express my appreciation.

Would a small dinner party
be in order?

On target.

A week from Friday.


You and Mrs. Ramsey.

And three or four
of the young executives

who'll be your associates.

Thompson, Elman, Lewis.

All bright young men.

So I told him
a week from Friday.

A week from Friday.Mm-hm.

But that's your birthday.

That's right.
Well, it's perfect timing.

Well, as a matter of fact...


I couldn't pick
a better day myself.




I decided not to tell Jeff

I'd already
invited our neighbors

to celebrate his birthday.

Even though the Ramseys
were coming,

he'd still have
half a surprise.

Caught you.

Those are for the guests.

Hey, you look beautiful.

So do you.

Happy birthday,
dear executive-type husband.

Aw, you shouldn't have,

but I would have been very
disappointed if you hadn't.

What is it?

Oh. Gold surfboards.

Jeff and Gidget.

Always hang ten.[GIGGLES]

I'm going to put 'em on.Let me help.

Know something?

Every great thing
that happens

I think it's the best day
in my life, you know...

and it just keeps
getting better.

For me too.


Happy Birthday!


Can you believe I already
planned a dinner party

with these people
when you told me--

You're kidding. That's great!

Look at all the loot here.
Look at what I got.


Who's that?JEFF: The rest of the guests.

I thought we were it.


Good evening!
Good evening!

How are you?

When Jeff told me about
his wonderful promotion

and suggested
we have a dinner party,

I'd already invited
our neighbors

to celebrate
his birthday.

I wanted to give him
a surprise.

Well, Mrs. Stevens,

I can't speak for Jeffrey,

but you certainly have succeeded
in surprising me.


Jeff poured.


Geologists of the future,
please note:

The beginning
of the new ice age.

The glacier
was first observed

moving slowly across
our living room at 7:37 pm.

Thank you.

Tom. Been a long time.Hi, Tim.

How are you?
Good to see you.

How's the golf game?Oh, I play every chance I get.

I'm glad
we're finally getting

some decent greens care
at the club.

I hadn't noticed the greens
were especially rough.


You don't play
at Cypress Hill?

Oh, no.

No. No.

Well, nothing like
a good 18 holes of golf,

no matter where you play.Here's to you.

The temperature continued
to drop steadily.

There were times
when I thought

the evening
would never end.

But it did.

Not with a bang.
But a whimper.




Okay.Where did we go wrong?

If you'd only told me, Gidget.Told you what?

That you were
thinking of inviting

the Ramseys
and the Lewises.

All those people
from Cypress Hill.

What difference
does that make?

My dear friends,

the primary fact of life
in Woodlake

is that it is
a structured society

and you just don't mix
Cypress Hill people

with Oakdale people.

Or Oakdale people with
Poplar Flats people.

That's ridiculous.

That's medieval.
That's un-American.

That's Worldwide Dynamics.

Wait a minute.
You're not saying

because Jeff
got a promotion, that...

You'll move to Cypress Hill.

The company'll
supply a new house,

and new shops
and schools and churches.

We won't lose our
old friends like you.

We've watched it
for four years now.

It just doesn't
happen that way.

Well, it's going to
work out that way with us

or we just won't move.

Well, it's getting late,
we'd better go.

Our son's an early riser.

A noisy early riser.[CHUCKLES] Yes.

Thank you, Tom.

Jeff, see you
in the morning.

Okay.And again, happy birthday.



Do you suppose this might
be a temporary cure for...

"foot just put in mouth"

It wasn't your fault, honey.

It wasn't
anybody's fault really.

You've just been spending time
with the kids.

I guess
I've been too busy working

to worry about what's socially
correct in dear old Woodlake.

It's like a bad dream.

A very bad dream.

I mean, this company,
it picks out your house,

and selects your furniture,
and chooses your friends.

You suppose they'll
arrange for us to have

suitable type children
at appropriate intervals?

No, don't exaggerate.Exaggerate!

That's impossible.

You know,
we are just looking

on the negative side
of this whole thing.

There is a lot to be said
in favor of Worldwide too.

I have a feeling
you're about to say it.

Any big organization has rules.

To move up, you have to
stick to the rules.

Even when you know
they're wrong?

They seem arbitrary...GIDGET: They are arbitrary.

This town is like Berlin.

Only it's worse

it's got two walls
dividing people.

Okay. Okay.

The set-up isn't perfect.

But what set-up is?

And where else
could a guy like me

have made the progress
I have in a few months?

Stop putting yourself down.

I'm not putting myself down.

I'm being realistic.

Life is accepting
the bad with the good.

Is that an original

or are we quoting
Otis Ramsey?

I will not accept company rules
that separate people

and spoil friendships.

I don't like that either.

We take what we feel
is right. Okay?

We try to change
what we feel is wrong.

That's democracy.

That's a cop-out.

Look, let's leave.

Let's give them back
their house and their furniture

There you go again.
That's the trouble with you.

The trouble with me!It always has been.

You want everything
to be perfect.

If it isn't perfect,
you pick up your marbles,

you run home
to your father.

Well, baby,
nothing is perfect.

Some thing's are just better
than others, you see.

What I've got going for me
over there at Worldwide is good

and I'm not
going to change it

just 'cause I happen
to have married

some female Don Quixote.That's a compliment.

I only hope
I can live up to it.

I will not have
my activities,

my friendships,
or my emotions

computer fed to me
by Worldwide

or any other company.

I will not live
in a structured society.

And if that's what
you expect,

you've obviously
married the wrong girl.

You said it.
I didn't.



No situation is so bad

you can't think
your way out of it.

Thus spake
Gidget Lawrence.

But now I couldn't think.
I didn't want to think.




You want everything
to be perfect.

If it isn't perfect,
you pick up your marbles,

you run home to Daddy.


No, Jeff. I haven't heard.

At least not directly.

What do you mean,
not directly?

Well, I had a phone call
a few hours ago.

When I answered,
whoever was there hung up.

I shouldn't have
walked out on her.

I guess it was because
I knew she was right.

You and Francie
had a disagreement, hm?

Not a disagreement.
A fight.

Listen, Russ, do you have
any idea where she might go?


She isn't there with you,
she should be here.


Well, if you hear from her...

I'll let you know.

I promise.



Welcome to Transylvania,
my darling.

Louie B.?


I've just come from
my marathon encounter group.

Everybody goes as the movie
actor he'd like to be.

Then we interact.

And do we interact.

I just took the girl
who comes as Lassie home--

on her leash.

What brings you
to Fun City?

Oh, well, I was hoping to...[GASPS]

I've shown my film
of your wedding everywhere.

Louie B...

All my fans insist
I should do a sequel,

you know,
the first anniversary,

or maybe the first baby.

How about the first divorce?

Oh, that's why you're here.

Something's rocking
your dreamboat?

It sank.

I wanted to try and get
my old job back at the U.N.


No more running home to Daddy.

I see.

Does Minnie still have
our old apartment?

The shrine?Yes.

She's still the keeper
of the flame.

Follow me, my darling.


Gidget, it's so wonderful
to see you.

Likewise.The U.N. guide service

has never been the same
since you left.

Is that a compliment?

Sorry I couldn't make it
to your wedding but I...

Everything looks the same.

Oh, Henry B. Walthall,
and Jason L. McDonald,

and Helen Twelvetrees.

Yes, but this is a new treasure.

Vilma Banky.
And autographed.


Do you ever hear
from Diane O. Tessa?

Oh, yes.

Our ex-roommate
got married before you did?


In fact, when Diana
left her husband last month...



Diana's marriage
broke up too?

They were separated

for slightly less
than 24 hours.

Her husband came
and carried her back home.

All the way to Bambutto.

Lucky Diana.

I don't expect
to ever see Jeff again.

I want to explain about
the mix-up last night, sir.

You're not concerned
about my family problems.

Off target,
of course I'm concerned.

Worldwide Dynamics
is concerned.

You and Mrs. Stevens are now
part of the larger family.

What affects you
affects all of us.

Well, you see,
Gidget has a very special way

of looking at things

Oh, yes. Yes.

Great originality,

which is charming
in moderation.

Moderation isn't
one of her favorite words.

You see, she wants
to be a good wife...

Well, of course she does.

And that's going to make it
easy for her to see

that working within
our time-tested traditions

is the simplest surest way
for her to do her part

to help you achieve
what all of us want.

Some of those
time-tested traditions

seem pretty arbitrary
and old fashioned, Mr. Ramsey.

Oh, now, Stevens.

none of those weary

clichés from you.

Only one iconoclast
to a family.

A little time,
a little patience.

And I'm hopeful
Mrs. Stevens can be

as well-adjusted
as any wife in Cypress Hill.

I can't see it, sir.Oh!

Believe me,
it will happen.

Your wife is not the first
post-adolescent reformer

we've had in Woodlake.

Mr. Ramsey,
you don't understand.

I mean, I can't see letting
our marriage, my career,

hammer Gidget into
some sort of well-adjusted

company programmed

Worldwide's mass produced,
young executive wife model 787B.

Now, Stevens,
how can I help you

if you indulge yourself
in such childishness?

Mr. Ramsey...

I like my work here.

And I think I could do
a good job for Worldwide.

I really do.

But my wife
is 100 percent right

about the rigid,
artificial society

this company
has decided is best.

And unless there's room
for readjustment

on the company's part,
which obviously, there isn't,

the situation
just isn't for me.


Stevens, am I to infer

that you are
quitting your job?

On target.



Louie B. Latimer here.


Louie B. Latimer.

Oh, yeah. Hi.

Listen, I'm calling
to ask a very big favor.

Mr. Latimer, this isn't
a very good time.

I'm shooting a picture,

tentatively titled
"Kiss and Make Up".

It's the story
of a young married couple

who have their first
big fight.

She runs off and stays
with friends in New York.

He follows her
and they kiss and make up.

You'd be perfect
as the husband.

Mr. Latimer, are you
trying to tell--

The girl who plays the wife

has sworn me to secrecy,

but I didn't promise her
not to cast a movie.

So if you're interested...

I'm on my way.


Hold it! Hold it.
Let me get organized.

Everybody sit down.
Sit down.

Now Vince says
Mrs. Stevens has split.

And Mr. Stevens
has quit his job.


the grownups still think
this town is divided

into three
separate sections.

That old hang-up.

So what do we do?

We explore the possibilities.

Hey, wait a minute.

Remember when
Mrs. Stevens told us

about Operation
"My House Is Your House"?

Well, maybe this is a time
for us to try it.



He called me childish.

That's always
the man's answer

when a woman's right.

I don't expect
instant perfection.

Well, forget him.

That's what I'll do.

Forget him.

A female Don Quixote.

Gidget, what are you doing?

I'm going back.

After the way he treated you?

Well, I'm going back
just long enough

to finish
what I have to say.

I'm going to tell him
exactly what I think of him.

Coolly. Calmly.


The final break.

But if he starts
sweet-talking you...

As Ford Sterling
is my witness,

nothing Jeff can say
and nothing Jeff can do

will ever make me change
the way I feel about him.

But I'm going to have
the pleasure of telling him

to his face
that we're finished.




Jeff. Oh!

Oh, no. I admit
it was all my fault.

No it wasn't.


Oh, Jeff, you're here.


Why am I so often the target
of base ingratitude?

It's your fate, Otis.

I took a very special
interest in young Stevens.

Gave him the benefit
of my invaluable experience.

Encouraged him.
Promoted him.

And what is my reward?

He quits.

How did you know?

I have my sources.

It's a shame for Worldwide

to lose
such a promising young man.

It's his wife.

Just look at her idea
of a dinner party.

She will not accommodate.

Won't accept things
as they are.

Perhaps she thinks

things could be better
than they are.

I really hate
to lose Stevens.

Hard worker.

But maybe the town's better off
without his wife.

Fortunately, she hasn't
been here long enough

to spread her disaffection.

She seems to have made
very good use of her time.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, Bob.

Who is this child?
What's he doing here?

And why did he call me Dad?

I've adopted you, Dad.

It can't be trick or treat.

It's months till Halloween.

This is Vince.

He's a charter member
of Mrs. Steven's Explorers Club.

This is a community

she suggested to them.

She has brainwashed
the children.

The idea is for each child

to move in
with another family.

To learn firsthand
that the differences

matter much less
than the similarities.

It's Operation
"My House Is Your House."

Where is Bob?

Well, he's with a family
in Poplar Flats.

Cypress Hill kids
are in Poplar Flats.

Oakdale kids
are in Cypress Hill.

It's neat.

It's unheard of.

It's inevitable.

The children just will not
recognize your barriers, Otis.

We shall see.




Gidget, hi.
May we come in?

Come in.



We want to
talk to you about

Operation "My House
Is Your House".

My house is...
oh, that's something

I thought my Explorers
might try some day.

Today was the day.

You mean, they're
trying it now?

We've been adopted by a
little girl from Poplar Flats.

We all have
new children.

I had no idea
they'd ever try

anything like that
on their own.

I'm so sorry.

We're not.We think it's great.

You do?

As a matter of fact,

we think you're great.

That's right, Gidget.

You've made us face
what we've always hated.

The whole artificial
division of Woodlake.

We wanna support you
and demand an end to it.


Our husbands
are with us on it.

Ramsey and the Board
agree to loosen

their grip on our private lives
or they'll quit.

Like you did, Jeff.

Sounds like this place is full
of female Don Quixote's.

Well, I'm with you all the way

but I think somebody else

better present the demands
to Mr. Ramsey.

I'm not sure he ever
wants to see me again.


Excuse me.


Mrs. Stevens,
this is Otis Ramsey.

Mr. Ramsey.

I shall expect to see you
in my living room

in 15 minutes.

Well, well, well,
this is quite an occasion.

Woodlakes' most dangerous

right here
in our living room,

and looking so demure
and innocent.

Mr. Ramsey...Now, Mrs. Stevens,

let's clear up this
little misunderstanding.

I remember
the impatience of youth.

You feel that the establishment
should adjust to you,

rather than vice versa.
But let's face it.

The establishment here
in Woodlake

has been functioning

since long before
you were born.

It's been beautiful
for the company.

Not for the people.

But what is good
for the company

is good for the people.

I believe it should be
the other way around.

What's good
for the people

will be good
for the company.

Hear, hear.Absolutely.

Well, you certainly
have a way

of turning a phrase, my dear.

Nancy, you surprise me.

I'd expect you to be helping
Mrs. Stevens adjust

instead of listening to her
Alice in Wonderlandideas.

I'm listening to Gidget
because she is saying

what I felt ever since
we first came here.

I'm not just listening.
I'm backing up her position.

We all are.

Include me, ladies.

Claire, the un--


When this company
was founded years ago,

there may have been
a sound reason

for the three-way
division of the town.

But whatever the reason was,
it is long forgotten.

We are simply stuck
with the division

because that's the way
it's always been.

But I think it's high time
it was changed.


Eh, ladies...

Ladies. Ladies.

A decision such as this
is not up to me,

but as evidence of my good faith
and open-mindedness,

I will appoint a committee
to look into your request.

The same committee
that keeps

looking into
those sonic booms?


you can be chairman.

Mrs. Stevens, Nancy,
you can serve with her.


Well, there's
just one more thing.

You want to be
chairman of the board.

Jeff's resignation.Gidget.


Why, certainly
no intelligent young man

would resign just after
he's been promoted.

I don't know anything
about a resignation.

Thank you, Mr. Ramsey.

Oh, yes, thank you,
Mr. Ramsey.

Oh, just think,
this is only the beginning.

The beginning.Well, sure.

One change
always leads to another.

Stevens, I have just had
an inspiration.

The perfect spot for you
in the company.

A real challenge for you
and your wife.



When Dad heard Mr. Ramsey
had assigned Jeff

to Worldwide's English branch,

he said I needn't worry
about Jeff's ever leaving me.

He'll hang on to me.

Just for my
nuisance value.

I don't care why
Mr. Ramsey sent us here.

I'm just glad to be here.

And so's Jeff.


We have reservations,
Mr. and Mrs. Stevens.

No, no. Not in
the Lord Byron room, sir.

You'll want
the Tennyson room.

Upstairs.Oh, all right.

Why not in this room?Honey, it doesn't matter.

Why can't we have
dinner in there?

Gidget, will you come on?I want to know.

Madam, ladies are not served
in the Lord Byron room.

Ladies are never served?

Not in 120-year history
of this establishment, madam.

Why, that's preposterous!


Something's gotta be done
about this right away.

We're gonna be
in London a long time.

All the more reason

to get started
on the right foot.