You can download movie script as text or as subtitles:

Ghosts, Italian Style (1967) - full transcript

Pasquale and Maria, husband and wife, live in a palace supposedly haunted by ghosts and pay no rent. When Pasquale finds some food in the cupboard he thinks the ghosts are at work. Actually it's Maria's lover, a very rich man, who showers her with presents.


Good day!

Hey, Mr. Loiacono, I'm like you:

I'd give up everything except sipping
a coffee quietly outside on a balcony.

But I mean the coffee I make myself.

With this device, you can make up 2 cups.

But if they could only do 3,
in case of a third person.

I roast my own coffee. How about you?

You do well, because the hardest thing
is to guess the right point of roasting.

For a color like a monk's cloak,
the water must boil for at least 4 minutes.

It's a very small secret but important.

Before straining it inside
the perforated tip,

we must sprinkle the bottom with half
a teaspoon of freshly minced powder,

so that at the time of pouring, the boiling
water is already flavored on its own.

Another tip: While its pouring through,
I put this piece of paper.

So the thick steam of the first coffee,
which is the best, doesn't dissipate.

This paper seems like nothing.
Yet it has its function.

That's why I'm putting it
on the spout (cuckold).

On the spout, got it?

Miss, I'm a bachelor with a good job.
And if I may say so myself,

"Oh, daughter of my honor..."

Yes, I sing. Tenor at San Carlo
in Naples. In the chorus naturally.

A fixed salary, the best of health,
strong teeth,

I'm 37 years old with good intentions.
My appearance, you can see yourself.

Miss! Will you marry me?

You?
- Yeah, me.

Well... so be it.

THESE GHOSTS
(AKA GHOSTS ITALIAN STYLE)

PAWN SHOP

There: 12 for each.

12 capsules for each of us.

Maria, I'm sorry.

Mine are... are 13. Sorry...

You know it's not because it's more
but because of the number, you know?

13!

Pasqu, it couldn't get any worse.

How do we take them?
- With orange soda.

Mar! Maria, what have you done?

I've taken them.

It's your turn.

Here, love.

You sure they won't be painful.
I mean in the stomach.

You fall asleep and never wake up.

If... if I don't drink,
I won't be able to swallow anything.

Here.

Now I'll drink, eh?
- Yes.

Goodbye, Maria.

Goodbye.

Goodbye, Pasqu.

Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Maria.

Oh, God, I can't see you anymore!
- How's that possible? Open your eyes!

It'll take at least half an hour.
- Yes, half an hour.

A half hour, Maria. Our last half hour!

Just think, the last half
hour and then it's over!

My love, yours, ours!

Don't say that! Don't say that...

How beautiful you were, Maria!

How beautiful!

Maria, come. - Where?
- Let's go. - Where?

We only have half an hour
to make love for the last last time.

My love! - The last half hour!
- Yes, let's go! - Come, I know a place.

Here we are: an anonymous ticket
collector will find us at dawn.

No, no, no!
Not 17.

This way. In here, come.

There.
- Pasqu!

Pasqu!
- Maria, my love.

There's no time. - Come come.
- Hurry! Love! Love! Love!

My love, we die together.
- We'll die, yes, together.

Embracing!
- Yes, clutching, embracing...

For the last time, yes! - The last embrace.
- Dying. (NIGHT SERVICE)

Oh, God, Pasqu!
What's going on here?

Let's sit down, Pasqu.

My head is spinning.
- Oh, Madonna!

Tickets!

The tickets.

Tickets!
- 2! 2...

Where to?

The end of the line.

And now what should we do?
Let's get off.

Eh, yes, but go where?

And shall we die on a bus?
I'd be ashamed!

Me too.

Let's get off, Pasqu.
Ring the bell. Hurry.

Yes, of course.
- Hurry up, please!

Excuse me! Will you let us get off?

And now?

Goodbye, Maria!
- Yes, goodbye.

But on our feet like horses?
Pasqu?

We... we don't even have a place to die.

I've always been unlucky.
Always! Even at the end.

I feel sick.
- Me too, Maria.

Oh God! Oh God. I'm sick!

She feels sick?
- Maria! Maria!

Make way! Hands off!

Let her sit.
- Sit down, Maria.

I'm sick too!

Hurry up! Take us to the hospital!

Driver, turn around and bring them
to the hospital! - The hospital!

How embarrassing, Pasqu.
How embarrassing!

Come... come on, hurry!
My wife is dying!

I... I'll carry her!
Don't worry, we're here.

We're here.

How embarrassing, Pasqu.
- Yes, Maria. - How embarrassing!

People! Help us! There've been 2 suicides!
- And where's the other one?

Me! Hurry!

2 stomach pumps! 2! Hurry!

Madonna m!

Madonna!

Excuse me, admissions?
- That way.

Excuse me, Sister. Tomorrow morning,
my wife and I leave the hospital.

And then, since I'd like to
make ready the apartment a bit

to greet her after what's happened,
can I leave for a couple of hours?

What is your name?
- Me? Pasquale Loiacono.

Thank you. But don't tell my wife because
I want it to be a surprise. Thank you.

Sister? Tomorrow morning,
my husband and I will be discharged.

And where can we go?
Can I go out for a few hours?

I have one hope. Just one hope.

What's your name?
- Maria Gennari Loiacono.

But please, don't tell my husband.
- No, no, no. Here.

OK.

Morning, Don Pasqu!
- Morning!

Do you still have that bedroom,
the low one? I need it.

Of course. If you're willing to share it
with my mother-in-law, my brother-in-law,

and my uncle from America,
consider it at your disposal.

No, that wouldn't do. Thanks anyway.
Goodbye. - Goodbye!

Hello, dear maestro. - Morning.
- Are you doing that Tosca in Salerno?

Nope. The financing fell through.
- Fell through? - Yes. - Well, thanks.

PIOUS INSTITUTE FOR THE HOLY SOULS
OF PURGATORY

Mr Alfredo!

Mr Alfredo!

Blessed be Jesus Christ.
- May he always be blessed!

I'm Maria. You recognize me?
- Of course.

Yes, Maria. I read something about you
in the papers. About you and your husband.

I'd like to speak to Mr Alfredo.
- Ah, sorry. He's out.

I saw him come in a moment ago.
- Really? Eh...

I just got here right now.
Come, let's call Sister Evelina. Come.

Sister Evelina!
He's probably very busy.

Yes, Sister? - Maria, you know her,
wants to speak to Mr Alfredo.

Without an appointment?

Sister! We need another 5 orphans
for Commendatore Sposito's funeral!

The widow paid for 15!
- Everyone behind me! The funeral!

In line and silence!
- Sister Benedetta? Hi, Sister Bened.

Here everything has changed with him.
The Purgatory House is flourishing again.

Now you could call it the Paradise House.

On the right is the printing press.
It employs 30 children.

Maria!

This is the saint workshop.
It's all due to his initiative,

if today we are the largest
producers of saints in the South.

We export them to America too.
They need them so much.

You who were here as a child, know well
how poor it was before Mr Alfredo's work.

One moment, please.

The Holy Souls of Purgatory. Good evening.

Yes, immediately.

His Excellency for the Professor.

You see? Even the prefect calls him.

Please, Sister, tell Mr Alfredo...
the Professor,

that I need to speak to him.
- Wait here, I'll see.

ALFREDO THE YEAR OF HIS COMING

There, just like that.
Perfect, perfect.

Maria!
- Pray for us sinners.

Maria!

Jesus! Jesus! Mary!

Maria!

Oh, God! Oh, God!
- Oh, Mar!

Did you hurt yourself? My soul!
My soul!

Sister?
- Ah, just like I thought, my girl.

It's not possible, he's too busy.

Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps another day,
when he's less busy.

I see.

Thank you.

Maria! Maria!

Maria! How long has it been, Mar?

Mr Alfredo!
- Mr Alfredo?

They told me you weren't here.
- But I am for you. Always for you.

I knew you would come.

Your husband, does he know?
- If he knew, as jealous as he is!

Do you still love him?
- Yes.

No.

I don't know.

Tell me: Can you love and
not love at the same time?

Maria!
- You're hurting me.

Oh, sorry!
- He's so unlucky.

Unlucky?
Is anyone who married you unlucky?

But how can you say that?

He says it himself as if
someone were persecuting him.

Rather someone helped him.

You?
- Eh.

When they threw him out of San Carlo,
I intervened immediately, but no use,

he's out of tune like a bell.
- No, no. Out of tune? No.

Since the day you wanted
to leave this institute,

I followed you day by day,
even after you were married.

Especially after you were married.

And I helped him for your sake.

Holy nuisances! Come.

Believe me, I wouldn't know
how to help him anymore.

You did too much for me.
- No, nothing!

I did nothing.
But I would do everything!

This house, where I came in as an orphan,
has flourished because of me.

But for you I'd leave it in an hour.
I'd leave all of this, all for you!

All my work only that you...

Because you too have the right to live.

Maria. I have to see you. But not here.

Alfredo, I've already
done wrong coming here.

I'll be waiting for you tomorrow
at the Vesuviana station. At 10.

And then?
- We'll go to Pompeii.

We will kneel together in the sanctuary.

Alfr, let's not test the Lord.

What do you mean? I respect you.
For me you'll always be the Madonna.

Yes, with light bulbs that catch fire.

I promise you that tomorrow,
if you come tomorrow,

I'll try to do, do something for him.
We'll talk about it when you come.

You'll come?

Not tomorrow.

The day after.

But if I do, I don't want anything.

If I come, Alfr,

if I come it means that,

it means I made a choice.

It keeps its beak happy.
- Sure, it never fails. Good, Peppino!

Here.
- Thank you, Sir.

"You are a very lucky man."

"If you had a bad stroke of luck, then
you don't know how to look around you."

"Fortune is right behind you."

TO RENT
WITH BENEFITS AND A GOOD ENTRANCE

Interested? Excuse me, Raffaele Marani,
doorman, I live in the building opposite.

Interested?
- What does "with benefits" mean?

It benefits those who rent it
because they don't pay. - What?

The rent is free.
- You're joking? - No, I'm not.

Want to come and see?
This way. At least come and see.

Don't throw away good luck. This way.

Come in.

Up ahead.

Enter.

This is the great courtyard where once
carriages stopped to cool at the fountains.

At that time, the noble ladies ascended
the great and sumptuous staircase,

today it's a little broken but
you can admire it from here.

Beautiful!

But there's one thing
that's a mystery to me.

What does "good entrance" mean?

Jesus! The opposite of "good exit".
- Which is?

That the owner if you rent the whole floor
gives you something for the set up costs.

Besides the free rent? - Yes, Sir,
but the lease must be for 5 years.

Go to...!
- Where ya going? I'm not telling lies!

It's all true as the Madonna is true.
Come on!

Come in. Be careful.

18th century style.
- I see.

Here we enter the vast reception
antechamber with its 17th century fireplace,

all in precious marble,
the color blood red.

Ah, good morning!
- Good morning, Professor.

You're showing the apartment?
- Yes, Sir.

To rent?
- Let's hope so.

Who's that?
- Oh, Professor Sant 'Anna.

The archive curator.
- Ah, the municipal archive.

He's a widower. He lost a sister
in the Messina earthquake.

He has a small property
in a part of Salerno.

He has diabetes. Let's keep visiting
the apartment. Come this way.

Sir? Sir!
- Eh?

What are ya doing? You left me alone!
What manners! Let's stay together! - Sure.

Now let's open this so we can
let in some light in the environment.

Would you be the new tenant?
- Pasquale Loiacono, at your service.

Yes! Yes, indeed!

An honor and a pleasure.
I'm happy to see the house inhabited.

The last, Don Vincenzino Stella,
of the third floor had an attack.

if I'm not mistaken, it was 7 years ago?

Professor! Have a good day! Be well, eh?

My respects.

This here...
- Excuse me!

Who was that Vincenzino Stella,
the one the professor said that...?

One who died 7 years ago on the third
night he inhabited this apartment.

So I must tell you right away
that by the owner renting for free

imposes certain conditions
which I must enforce. - Seems fair.

One hour in the morning and one at night,
you must show yourself to everybody

out of the balconies and windows
to show that the house is inhabited.

How many balconies and windows?
- 34.

Yes, but you must look
like a living person.

Do I look dead?
- No, you must... must make noise,

you must sing, beat the rugs.
- Sing? That's easy for me.

Tenor at the San Carlo.

Excuse me but these conditions
seem rather strange. - Well...

What reason is there for
this rug beating, this singing?

Aren't you from this neighborhood?
- No.

There are no reasons.

Especially since I follow
the order to say nothing.

OK. Now I should show
you the rest of the apartment

which extends into other small,
dark rooms. - Let's see.

10 rooms. Dark.
- Let's see them.

Because the building is
from the 17th century

when the Spaniards were in Naples and was
built by a certain Duke of Bermejo who...

Have you ever heard of him?
- No.

He's dead.
- May he rest in peace.

He was hanged.

In one of these many rooms.

He went mad for a holy and beautiful nun.
- A nun?

Yes. He brought her here to force her
to do the nasty with him and he succeeded.

But the nuns smelled smoke.
- They were caught? - Yes, Sir.

That's why he killed her?
- And he was hanged.

And that's why from
that violent death is born...

the legend of the apparitions.

What apparitions?

I'm not paid to speak and I don't.

But do you suppose
the owner will rent you for free

an entire floor like this
because of your pretty face?

Because by living here,

you give lie to the story going around.

And why? It's just a legend.

Certainly.

Tell me something.
- Yes?

That Vincenzino Stilla, on the third night,

how did he die?

A seizure.

And now if you want to see the rest of
the rooms come this way and I'll lead.

Yes. Oh, yes.

A legend is certainly a legend
and I have orders to down play it.

But if I make it known that
on the dark side of the moon

the ghost of the Duke is often seen
passing over the terrace with his cloak,

in black fur, with a face deadly white,
with blood stained eyes.

A face that I see first before me
and then behind me.

A face that looks at you as
if it wanted to speak to you

but a voice does not usher forth.
Over here, over there, always present...

Ah! Who's that? Who's that?

Ah, it's you!
- And who should it be?

Spirits are just crap
that people make up, right?

Maria! Maria!

Welcome!

Welcome! Welcome, Duchess, to your home.

Jesus, how big it is!
- What did I tell you? A palace.

I didn't believe it. - Your husband
took the time to get you a house

but when he got you one... eh?

How beautiful. - You were starting
to lose faith. - Oh no, Pasqu.

All of the noble floor, all for us.
You like it?

Jesus, but how big it is! I can't think.

It's really beautiful!

And so many fountains!

Fountains that come from the deep
cisterns dug down below the palace.

mysterious pools of water with no bottom.

And who are you?
- The doorman. I live in the palace.

And in a palace like this,
they give us a whole floor? Free?

Is the owner an idiot?
- No, he's not.

No, no! Why an idiot?
It's a question of a disputed inheritance.

The owner returning to America
leaves us as occupants on trust, right?

Yes, however there are clauses
that must be respected.

Because you see, Ma'am,
the palace is old from the 17th...

Maria we must be quick to unload, the truck
must leave. - That's what I'm doing, no?

Fine.
- We're going now.

Sir, you must hurry. It's getting dark.

You know that the electric light
will come on tomorrow.

Will you knock it off?
- What did I say wrong?

Everytime you talk about this house,
you use a voice that would stop Dracula!

Maria dear, we'll go before you!
We'll wait upstairs!

OK, OK!
Careful with that!

Sorry, Ma'am, it was an accident.

Not so rough, my boy!
- What do you want? It's heavy!

Let's close it.

Well, there's more dust here than Pompeii!

I told you, no? I told you to clean.

It's not easy.
- How not easy? - It's not easy!

Isn't there a broom or a rag?
- Go get a broom. - A broom?

But this house never ends though!

I even gave you 3000 lire.
- Yes, Sir.

And it was clean as a mirror!
- But how?

After only 10 minutes: the dust!

But where did the broom go?
- Yes, I'll get it, Ma'am.

Good, put it there.
- Go, go grab the broom.

You, carry the other stuff. Be quick.

Pasqu, how many rooms are there?
- 18.

18?
- Eh, 18.

There, there, lay it there.

We don't need 18 rooms, right?
- I'd say!

This is what I was just thinking now:
We'll keep 3 for ourselves,

we'll rent 15 and get up
a lovely pensione for opera singers.

Just think of all my acquaintances:
tenors, baritones!

That's what I thought.

And where would you get the furniture?
Did you think about that?

Ma'am. Here I am at your service.
Here's the broom.

What's that?
- San Gino's broom.

This a broom?
It's more plucked than you!

I'm going to buy a broom.
Put it all on the table.

The beds in the other room.
- She's right. It's stripped, worthless.

Don Pasqu?
There's a dead chicken here.

We put it on the balcony,
so tomorrow it'll be more tender.

Let's hope so.

Slowly, slowly! Look out for
the door! Let's not break it!

Hey, this is heavy! Where do I put it?
- I'm coming.

But it's heavy!
- We'll put it here.

What should we do?

Don Pasqu go lend a hand.
This side leave to me.

Are you ready?
- Ready. Careful!

Come on! Go!

The wardrobe is fine here.

Facing this wall.
- Yes, Sir.

Easy! Easy! Come on!
- Easy!

The things have been brought up.
Can we go now?

You may go.
- Let's go. Go with God.

Then Don Pasqu, happy night, quiet stay.
- What? You're taking away the light?

Yes.
- Right, I have a bundle of candles.

There should be some.

Did you find them?
- Strange, there was a new pack.

Then Don Pasqu give me 600 lire
and I'll go buy you a newer pack.

Here.
Yet they were there.

Ah, Don Pasqu, I must warn you.

Look, every now and then
some objects disappear.

Even valuables.

And don't allow yourself to report
the thefts that happen here or...

These are ghosts, they don't play around.
They slap, punch and hit you in the head.

I'm going to buy candles.
Excuse me, Don Pasqu.

Bastard.

He left to do his task. It's nothing but...
it's already 3. I'll go tell him.

Don Pasquale? Here are the candles!
Don Pasqu!

Anybody here?

Sorry, I was a little late because
the store below was closed.

Ma'am, what a way to enter!
- What way would that be? Thank god.

Good night, Ma'am. - Good night.
- Rest in peace. - Thank you.

Let's undress. Mamma Mia!

Where did he come from?

Maria!
- Jesus!

Jesus, what are you doing here?

Why? Why didn't you come?

I waited for you 2 hours at the station!
- Go. Go away! - Mar!

Why? Why?

Why didn't you come? Why?

Why?

Because it's not right.

Right now he found this house, Alfredo.

It's a sign from fate.

I must trust him once again.

I brought you...

...the mantle of the Madonna.
You've kept it.

And the crown. Maria...

In order to see you again,
I was forced to bribe the movers

and travel inside the wardrobe.

Yes.

I brought 2 flowers down here
and a chicken.

Maria, Maria! You are, you are...

You are undernourished.
Yes, yes, yes, yes!

The other day I was looking at you,
yes, because you're undernourished,

I was looking at that chest.
- Whaddya doing?

That neck, you're undernourished.
Losing weight!

Let go of me!
- I can't stand it,

that flesh, so undernourished!
- Oh, God!

What? - Pasquale, my husband!
Let go! - Your husband?

And me in my night gown! My night gown!
- Oh, God!

And jealous as he gets!
- Oh, God. - Quick, the wardrobe!

Jealous as he gets!

Maria.
- Eh?

Why are you standing there so fixed?
- Fixed?

Like, like one... enchanted.

I went out...

I went out to buy candles, bread,

stearic acid, candles.

Did the doorman bring that candle?
- No.

It was lit.

I found it.

And the flowers?
- I found them.

This chicken?

I found it.
- A roast chicken?

Alla diavola?

Holy Mary, mother of God!

Alfredo?

Alfre...

Mar!
- Pasqu!

You see anything?
- No.

Then go. - Yes, Pasqu.
- Go. - I'm going.

Better one of us stay.
Go, do the room.

Go! Go...
Go! Go! Go!

Go. And the kitchen too.

"In the mo... the moment of fear,
San... San Gennaro pro... protect me."

"San Gennaro... San Gennaro
pro... protect me."

San... San Gennaro...!

Who are you?

Thank you! Oh, thank you! Thank you!

He flew away!

Pasquale?

Pasqu!

Pasqu.

What's the matter?

What happened?
- Oh, nothing!

What should happen?

No. I thought I heard
you talking to someone, eh?

No! Why? Why?

Have you seen anything? I mean...

Did you see anything earlier?
- Me? No.

Well then!

Pasqu?
- Eh?

You seem so strange.

Well, no... it's just your impression.

Then all the better.
- Right.

Come to sleep.
- Yes, yes, yes.

This house, I don't know...
It scares me to be alone. Come.

Really? Scary? Why?

Good evening.

- Good evening, Pro...
- If I'm not mistaken just now,

I saw some little flames in the room...

Probably my matches.
- Eh, well done.

That's how these things
should be taken: calmly.

Yeah! - You understand me,
they are susceptible, irritable beings.

And only when they find a guy
like you, calm, understanding,

only to him and to him alone
do they approach willingly.

And maybe... they even give him gifts, huh?

Sometimes, but it's rare.
Good night. - Good night, Professor.

Thank you!

"First payment."
Then there will be others.

What a beautiful thing
is a sunny day!

And the evening after the storm.

Sing Mar! Sing, sing.

Beautiful. Beautiful. You keep
singing, Mar! You come with me.

What a beautiful thing...
- Here, take this stuff.

Put them on that table and be
careful not to break them. Go, go!

Sir, this is all shot!
The pipe needs to be changed!

Change it! This will be a beautiful
sumptuous pensione! Go to town!

Go to town!

You too! Please go heavy with
the enameling! - OK, as you wish.

...sunny day!
- This pensione will be for opera singers!

Good, sing as much as you want! Sing!

Don Pasqu, I'm done.
- Ah, good. Let me see.

The appliance is fine here.
- That's fine.

Do I leave you the bill, Don Pasqu?
- Yes, leave it here.

Goodbye, Don Pasquale.
- Bye.

Don Pasquale, do I leave this too?
- Of course. Pile it up!

Morning, Doc.
- Morning.

I give you this too?
- Yes, give it here.

And tell your boss I'll pass by, eh?
- When? - Yes, when...

There are too many balconies, Pasqu.

Let's see, what's today?
The end of October.

The Day of the Dead, when does it fall?

November 2nd? The 3rd.
- OK, good day.

Pasqu? - Eh?
- How will you pay for all this?

I'll pay, Maria, don't worry.

I'll pay. I already told you that I have...

...I have a sponsor.
- Who is this sponsor? Can I know?

Well, he's... he's a nobleman.

Pasqu, you seem so strange.
Like you're possessed.

Me? No!

You think about singing, Maria, eh?
Go on, Maria.

But my voice ran out.

But it's important Maria. Because the people
that pass by, see and hear you, and say,

"What a nice house!"

"What a beautiful lady
who beats the rugs!"

"And how beautifully she sings
and what a lovely cleaning she does."

"Let's go to that pensione!"
Understand, Maria? - Don Pasquale!

Don Pasqu, this young lady
would like a room in the pensione.

You see? What did I tell you?

Please come in, Miss.

If I may, Pasquale Loiacono:
dramatic tenor at the San Carlo,

Albeit in the choir. Miss?

Sayonara.
- What?

You see this eye? Oriental.
That's why they call me Sayonara.

The rooms are very comfortable,
running water in the kitchen.

Pasquale?
- Love?

Come over here, I must tell
you something. - Huh? What?

Just something, eh!
Excuse me, Miss.

Excuse me.

Have a seat, Miss Saponara.

Pasqu? - Mar?
- Did you look closely at that girl?

Mar, I only have eyes for you.
- Good day, Ma'am!

He's always at the window like a ghost.
Come in.

She's a "working girl".

What work?

She's a whore coming and going,
from head to toe, from toe to head!

That the truth?
- Her name is also Sayonara.

It's certain that the
name is perplexing.

But to turn away our first
guest would bring bad luck.

And you can't judge
a book by its cover, Mar.

Pasqu, I've told you.

Sayonara...

Here as can be seen, is the large living
room where one can watch TV at night.

I work at night.

What a beautiful kitchen!
- Um, comfortable.

All new. Ah, the wall in washable paint.

Even the ceiling, eh?

The ceiling which would then
be the floor for those who live above.

And who lives above?
- Eh, Lord knows. I rented the room

to a nice young man,
very distinguished looking with a beard.

Interested in you.
He seemed mysterious to me.

With a blond beard.
Do you know him?

I don't really know anyone.

As I thought. My respects, Ma'am.

Gas stove and Indesit refrigerator...

130,000 lire.

8 small iron beds... the lire...

118,000.
1000!

Look, he only does it so I can hear him.

Ma'am! Before going out,
I brought back the cup.

Ah, thanks.
- Shall I wash it?

No, don't worry, thanks.
- But I'd do it willingly.

Ooh, damn!

Oh, how sorry I am.
Will you be able to clean it?

Eh, I think not.

Ma'am, I don't want to deceive your trust.

That's why I must tell you something
you probably haven't noticed.

I'm not as honest as I seem.

My daughter. Honesty!

Honesty.

Excuse me very much, I'm sorry.

I called you because
I tracked down the whole story.

About... about him?
- Yes, at the archive. Him.

His name was Juan Augusto Manuel
Bermejo, the Duke de Rioja y Barrientos.

The nun was called Esmeralda.
- Esmeralda?

History from the realm of Naples.
But he didn't kill her.

He had her buried alive in the palace.

This one?
- Yes, yours.

Then the other nuns went to the Inquisition
court and to the Bishop of Benevento.

What did that bishop
have to do with Naples?

It's not known.
The page here is torn.

Then the Duke hanged himself
to escape the terrible trial

and his soul remained
inside the palace itself.

Inside the wardrobe!
- To hide from the nuns.

And that's why he gave you money.
To buy your silence.

So you won't tell the nuns.
- But I've never seen those nuns.

But those are cloistered nuns.
They don't leave even in death. It's clear!

He pays you so you won't talk.
He gives doubloons, ducats, golden ecus.

No. No, modern money,
All... all in ten thousands.

It's obvious that ghosts are keeping
up with modern times. - Then...

Even the number he left me!

Excuse me.
- Please do.

Souls in Purgatory, good evening.

Pasquale! - What is it?
- Pasqu.

Did the paper come? Come in.
- Yes.

The young lady wanted the paper.
- The young lady wants the paper? Yes...

The paper... Here!

No, these are only magazines.
You want the papers.

The papers?
- On the table. - Here!

Here it is. Maybe you wanted it for your
horoscope. You're a Virgo, perhaps?

No, the young lady wanted the bulletin.

For the weather.
To know if I need a raincoat.

For the weather. Yes, yes, yes.

Serene. It says very serene.
- Thank goodness. Then I'll leave it.

Here on the coat rack?
- Yes, good.

I'm going out, Ma'am.
- Go and may the Madonna go with you.

My... my head hurts.
- Me too.

Better, I get out for a minute.
- Go. I'll go to bed early tonight.

Yes, I'm going to get some fresh air.

You're going?
- Yes, I'll go.

OK.
You're not going?

I'm going. I'm going.

I'm going.

Maria! Maria!

You came here? Here?
Where did you come from?

Then it was true?

You were up there?

You put yourself in our home?

Madonna, the doorman!
Just imagine what he thinks!

I must explain.
- Go away!

My husband may come back any moment.
Fortunately, he did not see you.

No! Your husband the other time, saw me!

Duke Bermejo?

Mr Duke?

Mr Duke of Bermejo?

Are you there?
I know you're there.

Have no fears!

I know your secret but I won't tell a soul!

But down here, I've a lot of expenses
and you've disappeared.

Mr Duke, show yourself at least.

Let's discuss it between men.

Because otherwise...

...otherwise Mr Duke...

520000 OR I TELL THE NUNS

Believe me, it's like I say.

But it's not true.
I can't believe it.

So where did he get the money?
Furniture, curtains, television?

Who pays for all this? Who?

He says he has a sponsor.
- That's me!

Look!

I'll say it!
I'll say it to anybody who cares,

that I, Alfredo Marigliano,
run after a married woman,

because I feel pure!

And he... he is not a man worthy of you.

He knows my feelings and
exploits them. He exploits you!

Alfredo!

He took the money? From you?

I know you are there!
I hope you hear me!

I will not disturb you!
I won't say a thing!

But have you read the numbers
written on the wall?

I signed the bills on trust.

And now they've come due.

And those can't be stopped
and I don't have any money.

They come due!
- Kiss me.

Kiss me, I said.

Yes... Yes!

You're mine, you'll be mine now!
- No! What are you doing?

Maria! My Maria!

Poetry! Lunacy!
- Not here!

Oh, Maria! Madness, Maria!

Not now! Afterward. Later.

In his house. It must be in his house.
- Yes. That's just.

The last room at the end of the hall.
- You swear it? Swear it! - I swear.

The last room at the end. - The last room
at the end of the hall. Yes! The last!

Now you cannot deny this money to me.

I'm not moving from here, ya know?

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

Money! Blows!

Mr Duke you are...
you're a rather bizarre spirit.

However if it makes you happy,
knock yourself out.

It's me. I'm soaking wet.
The newspaper was for yesterday.

My Arturo even hit me. He says
I'm always wrong about the weather.

He hits me and I love him.
We women are really stupid.

Yes, really stupid.

Ma'am, has something happened?
- Not at all.

No, "not at all".
You're not in your head.

I wish my head was under the earth!

No, Ma'am, you mustn't say that.

Come, come. I can be of help.

My head!

Maria!

280.

Eh, to cover the most pressing bills.

Maria! What are you doing? Sleeping?

I've good news, Maria.

The sponsor showed up with a certain sum.

Maria? What are you doing? Sleeping?

Damn you! Damn you!

I have sinned with a prostitute!

With a prostitute? I've sinned!

I've lost my soul with a prostitute!

Go! Go! Go!

Another black eye!

To deceive me so! Me!
Who loved you more than my life!

Damn you! Damn you!
Destroy all the women!

Destroy them! Eh. Maria! Maria!

Maria, I loved you like a saint!

Damn you! I hate you, Maria!
May you be damned!

And you too!
- Mr Duke!

You, Maria! - Esmeralda!
- Maria! - Esmeralda!

Maria! Maria!
- Esmeralda!

Maria? Esmeralda?
All we needed was this confusion.

Mar.

Listen, Maria...
- The bathroom is always occupied.

Maria, listen to me. Damn!

Eh, Cavaliere, you see that?

She won't speak. Won't speak! It's been
more than 10 days since she spoke.

Maria... Maria, listen, just now that
the pensione is working, we have 6 clients.

Hey, you like it? I got it for 60000 lire.
- A bargain.

Mar! Mar! Maria!

What? With all the space we have,
you must fill this wardrobe?

And then Maria, you don't sing anymore.
You don't beat the rugs!

You must beat the rugs here!
No one beats in this house anymore!

No, it's busy.

Excuse me.
- Thank goodness.

Prof, I'm starting to believe
that you were right. - Of course I was.

My wife hasn't spoken for 10 days and he...

you know who, has disappeared
saying he won't come back.

But it's natural: Seeing your wife,
he took her for the Nun Esmeralda.

And he has remained violently shocked.
- Shocked? - Yes, struck.

For me it's very clear,
he, the Duke, I mean the ghost,

mad lover of a nun suddenly finds himself
in the house of a lady who is not a nun.

Yes, she's not a nun.
- Well then!

Didn't you tell me your wife is austere?
She doesn't speak? Her hair pulled back.

This suggests that the ghost wants a nun.
Find him a nun and he'll come back.

Easy to say! - Convince her to transform
herself, even dressing like a nun.

Ma'am, can I help you?

Ma'am, you haven't
spoken to me for 10 days.

You'll make me think you're mad at me.

I'm not mad at you, my girl.
I'm mad at myself.

Because he's rotten, repulsive, garbage!

I'm more than garbage! I don't know why
I didn't have the courage to cuckold him!

Because you love him.

Yes. Like an idiot.

Whoever loves is never an idiot, Ma'am.
Maybe a little foolish.

Like me with that pimp Arturo who
continues to steal 85% and I still love.

But your husband's really not a pimp.

He scrapes by then he gets behind.
But only because he looks after you.

Believe me, Ma'am,
your husband, a true pimp is not.

Esmeralda.

Esmeralda.

It scalds.

Hot. Hot but good.

Maria, I understand you feel strange.

Even if you understand,
you remain a little shocked.

What "shocked", Pasqu?
I feel like hell inside.

Maria, you spoke!

Finally, at least, you've talked.
That's something.

Mar, let's look each other in the face.
Let's be honest, eh? Eh?

Let's.

Mar, I'm in trouble.
Big trouble, huge trouble.

For you, you see, so you could live well.

For me?

You don't know how scared I've been
and how hard to deal with these payments.

But up 'til today, I must say thanks to a...

Thanks to a good soul.
- What?

That sponsor of yours.

Ah, yes! Exactly him, a good soul.

Maria, I want to tell you,
omitting all the true details...

Let's omit them.
- Things have, up to now,

have been regular, in the sense that
that he has always forked out the money.

Respecting me, to be honest,
he never has personally asked for anything.

Lucky you!

True, it was enough that I left him in
peace, staying here, turning a blind eye...

More like both of them.

But now... But now that I find
myself up to my ears in debt,

that he doesn't appear.
- Is he dead?

Yes. No! He... he disappeared.
Gone. Understand?

He vanished.
- Like a ghost?

But I asked an expert for advice.

Yes. And do you know what came out?

That the main cause of
this sudden disappearance...

...was you.

You don't say?
- Yes.

Maria, I can't talk openly. They told me,

speak little, be reticent,
else the thing is over.

But the thing mustn't end, Mar!
The thing can't end!

We cannot start again a life of hardship,
of deprivation. I want to live well!

I want to eat well! I want to drink well.
- Dress well. - Yes, of course.

You don't want to count cigarettes.
- No I don't!

On Sundays, you may want dessert.
- Sure!

In short, it cannot, must not end!
- No, in fact, you can even widen the net.

Maybe, Mar, maybe.
- Let's get the word out.

This good soul might have friends.

Well, we'll see. Maybe...,

Maybe later.

Pasqu?
- Yes?

You can count on me,
I'm in good health.

Thank you, Maria. Thank you!

I knew that at the right moment,
you wouldn't have held back.

What do you want? What I have I done.
Now, now it depends on you.

Make a little effort, OK?

Basically, instinctively,
subconsciously you've already done

something to adapt to his
ideal of modesty, it's true,

of purity, yes,
with your hair pulled back,

that almost monastic look,
is exactly what he wants.

I'm not saying dress like a nun but...

something more welcoming, Maria!
This way I can call him.

It that's all, I can do that.

No, no, he mustn't know
that you know I know.

He's old fashioned.

Something like a trio officially,
he wouldn't like.

I would be there in a heartbeat.
But not him...

Maria? Well?

Pasqu?
- Yes?

You've clarified my thoughts.
Thank you.

No! He's a pimp bigtime!
And an asshole too!

Good day. Good day!

Professor! She's an angel, understanding!
- I'm glad.

Professor, I'll...
- Now we'll tell him.

There he is! Don Pasqu, excuse me,
do you mind if we try out the band?

No, no, go ahead, guys.
- Thank you!

Professor, I... I telephoned him!

Please give me a token. Thank you.

Hello? I'd like to talk
to Professor Alfredo, please.

Loiacono.

Yes, yes, Maria Gennari... Loiacono.

No, I'm sorry, it's not possible,

No, the professor is not there.
No, he's not.

Yes?

Who is it?

It's not possible.
The professor is at a retreat.

No, no, he's doing spiritual exercises!

It's Maria.

Maria? It's Sister Gertrude.

The professor has retired to do his
penitential exercises and you know why.

No, you can't talk to him,
either today or tomorrow or ever,

Don't insist!

He's not here!
- Maria?

Yes, Mar.

Professor! It's busy.

Use the ancient method:
summon him tonight with black magic.

We've arrived.

Professor, two apparitions!

Two nuns have appeared!

The dust you gave me fell on the fire!

This is serious!

You see them?
- The dust! - The nuns!

Madonna!
- Where are you going?

What's happening? Keep me informed!

Madonna, so many! So many!

The whole monastery, Professor!
- Leave me!

No! No, I'll never come back!

Nuns! Nuns!

No! No! No! My soul is changed.

Yes! I'm born again,
starting today a second life!

For our innocent souls, that without
you would be abandoned, we beg you!

No!
- You leave us for that woman!

So many nuns! So many!

They've trapped him
and are putting him on trial!

Yes, better damned than this hell!
- The founder!

Reverend founding mother!
- Judge me in this moment!

There's even the Bishop of Benevento!

Son, run away from these demons!
Enjoy life and love while you're young.

Yes, yes, holy soul.

Yes, I'll run away! To my lady!

Get away! I'm leaving!

What have we done, Professor?
He left!

They acquitted him!
He runs away and leaves me in trouble!

There! I'm leaving!

Stop!

Because of your twisted conduct,
the House of Purgatory will fall!

The saintly ejaculation will end!

But it's over for you too.
He goes, so does the money.

You will fall even lower.

My head!

Mar, I really must tell you.
This house is unfortunately...

Maria, I never told you but...

I have a mediumistic power.

An ongoing supernatural power.

Pasquale, it's over. I'm leaving!

Maria? Maria, are you ready?
Do you have any other stuff?

Professor! The taxi is waiting below.
Shall I take your luggage? - Yes.

No, no, Maria! But how?
- Pasqu, don't make a scene.

But then you... you saw him too?
- Maria, come on.

But how is he...?
- Hands off!

Alfredo!
- I know how to take care of things.

But then...?

Professor? I'll bring down this one too.
- Yes.

Pasquale?
- Him! Maria! Esmeralda! Maria!

The...the... the Duke of Bermejo!

It was him! It was he who paid!

Because he was your lover!
And of course he paid for the furniture.

Everything! The curtains!
He paid for all!

Look at this idiot here!

You, Maria took advantage.
Look! Look at him well!

Look at this idiot!
- What are you doing?

At my age to still believe in ghosts!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Idiot! Imbecile!
I'll kill you! I'll kill you!

Eat this money!
- Don Pasqu!

Control yourself. It's Cavalier Melfi.
- What the hell do you want?

Come here! Where do you think...?

Stop, Don Pasquale! What is this scandal?

You don't see all the people! Look at the
neighborhood hanging out their windows!

But then you knew too? They knew it too!

Don Pasqu, I knew!

Even the young lady knew!

Ah, the young lady!
All! All knew it!

Certainly, the whole floor.
- You too?

Mr Pasquale!
- Sayonara! The people on the streets!

All the neighborhood knew?

That Pasquale Loiacono was a cuckold?

You too, Professor?
- My friend, I always suspected it.

Where is he?

Where is he? Where is he?
Everybody out!

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you! Burn in the hell!

If I find you, I'll kill you and her!

I'll make you a real ghost!

A murderer!
Justice has been just.

Dear viewers, dear viewers,
we are at this moment

in the cellars next
to the cistern of the crime

that even communicates
with the great Roman sewer.

Attention! Attention!

Here is one of the divers looking
for the corpse of poor Maria Gennari.

The killer gave himself up,
after drowning his wife,

for reasons of honor, in the large
deposit of water underneath the palace.

Did you find something this time?

Not at all. It's a maze down there.

Tunnels, culverts and a current
that carries you away.

Excuse me, what news can
you give of the corpse?

Who knows where it is by now.
I damn near became one myself.

He threw her while she
was alive into the cistern!

Do me a favor, give me the same face
you had when you saw the killer, eh?

It seems useless to continue. Let's
suspend the search. - Maybe we should.

TO THE MEMORY
OF MARIA GENNARI

Now is the time for violets.

There are already violets.
Maria!

The flowers of the other day.
They're all dry!

And dust! Dust everywhere.

And the lamp!

There's no more oil left?
But where does it go?

Don Alfr, what you're thinking,
you shouldn't think.

Extra virgin oil from Lucca.
Virgin oil. Blessed. - Pray for us.

My professor,
as far as filth is concerned, it's true,

indeed it's probable
but the oil, Professor.

Eh, you offend me.
Steal a dead man's oil!

It would be a sacrilege.
It would be an affront to that holy soul.

An affront!
Worse than what the court wants to do:

Absolving due to a crime of honor,
that bastard of her husband.

Look, look. He's given absolution.

Crime of honor? Honor, my foot.

I'd give him the death penalty for life.

Welcome back! Bravo! Welcome back!

Hooray for justice!
Justice has been just, Don Pasqu!

Welcome back, Don Pasqu!

Close the gates! Close it!

Come Don Pasqu, let's go home, come!

Just so! All the people won the lottery
with your numbers! Me too, Don Pasqu!

Away! Go away!

Come, let's escape this
inopportune publicity!

One more!
- Another one, another one!

Have respect for a widower!

Welcome back.
Welcome back, Don Pasquale.

I had to go to the orchestra and I feared
not being in time to welcome you back.

It's Cavaliere Melfi.
The only boarder left.

I owe you 7 months of rent.
- When you can.

I'm glad you returned.

The house is so big. Strange.
- How strange?

Strange. Clean. Like it lived.

But strange.

The color of a monk's coat.

Come out.

Come on, come out.

1?
- 1.

Didn't you have to disappear forever?

Yes. - 2?
- 2.

Didn't you solemnly swear to be buried
alive at your aunt's, like we agreed?

3?
- Pasqu, I am a perjurer! I didn't do it!

3?
- 3. 3.

No, you know I drink it bitter.

Then I'll drink it, I like it sweet.

Thank you.

I felt like coffee.

And I also wanted to see you again.

And I had another wish.

For a very long time.

Seven months in here waiting for you.
Going out only at night.

Stealing stuff from time to
time from Cavaliere Melfi.

Poor Melfi.

The stuff disappeared and
he didn't even realize it.

But you see he's old.

He bought a slice of meat,
a slice of bread, one cheese.

How hungry it made me
on the mornings of the trial!

Mamma Mia!

How thoughtless! I put in a sugar!

No matter. This time I'll even drink sweet.

What a nice feeling
to feel at home again.

Why are you standing there?

Sit down. Standing there
you look like you're about to leave.

Not me. You.

Me?
- Ah, yes!

After what has passed.
After life imprisonment.

Which I risked to save my honor.

The newspapers, confusion,

the lottery numbers that came out, the TV!

Maria, you know there's a
monument to your memory below!

But that's an empty monument.
Nobody is there.

Exactly!
After all this, I go and say, "Sorry".

What a joke!
Here a corpse walks!

Maria. Don't fool yourself:
You are dead!

Even to you?

Yes.

Pasqu, they've already acquitted you.

What would be my life?
Kill me and get it over with!

Shall I make some?
- No. No.

I see. You don't want to see me again.

Now I know what I must do: disappear.

Good!

I'll disappear forever. For real.

My stuff, those few things upstairs,

destroy them,
so no traces of me remain.

And tomorrow, finally,
they'll find my body in the cistern.

And it will all be over.

You can't prevent me!

But first I must tell you
something, Pasqu. Can I?

I had always judged you...

incompetent, a deluded poor man,
reactionary, without a cent.

Maybe an idiot.

Alone...,

in all these months,
I've been thinking about it.

And you know what I learned?

That I was right, Pasqu.

But I understood something else.
Rather I discovered it.

It was because of that,
I fell in love with you.

Because you're a dreamer,
always with your head in the clouds.

One who couldn't make it even if he tried.

One who out of love for me and
at his age still believes in ghosts.

Like a baby. Like an idiot.

Yes, but an honest idiot.

Pure. A saint A poet!

That's why I love you, Pasqu.

This is what I wanted to say.

And I said it.

And now...

And now?

And now?

Now where are you going?
What are you doing?

Ah, yes!

You're going to throw
yourself in the cistern.

Now, in the daytime.
With the courtyard full of people.

Then I'll wait until night.

What are you doing?
- Waiting for the night.

Ah, waiting like that?

Next to the door so that
if somebody comes in they'll see you?

Where then?

Well... here, over there, what do I know?

Yes. But through there's the bedroom.

Pasquale!
- Women! - Pasquale!

Not only do they want to be killed,

they also want...,
they also want to be right!

To be forgiven and killed!

Killed and forgiven!

Are you happy now?

Faking a crime,

false accusations against myself,

the hiding of a living corpse,

I'll get 4 or 5 years in prison.

Don't think about it Pasqu
Don't think about it.

If we were millionaires,
it'd be easy to pay for the passports.

Brazil, Argentina... Who would know us?

Patience. I'll remain.

I'll settle upstairs in the bedroom.

I did it once for seven months.

I can do it for the rest of my life.

Don't think about it, Maria. Don't.
- Pasqu.

Mar, Mar!
- Don't think about it, Pasqu. Don't.

No, I meant I'm hungry, Maria.

I believe it.

It's daytime.

You know whose this is? It's Sayonara's.
I made it disappear before she left.

Listen. Cavalier Melfi has two eggs.
Shall I make them?

I'll make them.

I'm going to buy the oil, eh?

What are you going to buy?
- I'm going to buy the oil.

Oh God! Ma...Maria!

Holy soul!

Maria!
My God, I killed you!

My fault!
It's only my fault you died!

And you appear to me in spirit.
You look beautiful,

holy, luminous, dressed...
dressed like the blessed souls!

To me who persecuted you,
who pursued you by any means,

in every way! In your own home!

But now I want to pay, I want to atone.

To pay!

Yes, I want to pay.

Let's hope so.
- I will pray!

It's not enough.
- I'll do penance, I'll wear a hair shirt!

It's not enough.

Then what? I want to pay!
- Yes, pay.

Because in order to get back my peace,
I must make a long journey.

To fly. Under another sky.

Charity?

Who must I give it to?
- To Maria.

To the Sorrowful Mary?

No, to the Consoled Maria.
Leave it here.

Yes.

Here it is.
And now I will be forgiven?

And who knows? Who knows?

Mercy! Mercy!

And now close your eyes.

Slowly recites three glorias,
or rather four, face to the ground.

Face to the ground.

Maria!

Holy soul, give me the lotto numbers!

6, 47 and 50.
- On which wheel? - Bari. There.

Pasquale! Wake up!

Pasquale! Look! Look! Look!

Please come forward. Come.

Welcome to Scotland.

You're Italian, aren't you?
- No, were from Naples.

You can speak Italian.
I conquered Italy.

With my beloved.

You offer yourselves as cook and maid.

Well, not a maid...
- Cook and maid.

With references.
- Good.

Here normal life, normal service.

Normal schedule.

In short, everything is
perfectly normal in the castle.

Here comes Johnny.
He's my ancient ancestor.

That is his portrait.
With the head naturally.

Yeah, it's twenty after four.
The very time his head was cut off.

Very convenient for setting the clocks.

Maria! He's looking at you
with too much interest.

We won't start up with this again, eh?

Eh, no, eh?

English subtitles by sineintegral@KG