Ghost Writer (1989) - full transcript
A writer moves into a Malibu beach house, and comes up against the ghost of an actress who supposedly had committed suicide there 30 years previously, but had been murdered by her boyfriend. The ghost asks the writer's help in proving her boyfriend the killer.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
[ Phone Ringing ]
>> Hi, this is Angela.
Please leave a message
at the beep.
>> Rise and shine, sweetheart.
I know you're listening.
Wake up, wake up.
I'll just sing until
you wake up.
When I'm calling you --
>> I'm up, I'm awake.
What time is it?
>> Don't you own a clock?
>> No, and my rooster died.
>> Oh, what a kidder.
I just called you to remind
you about your interview.
>> What interview?
>> The one with Chuck Aaron.
Oh, don't tell me you
forgot about your deadline?
>> Calm down, calm down,
Baxter, I remember, I remember.
Where am I supposed to meet him?
>> You run this far every day?
>> Ten miles a day.
Be aware of my location.
You know every time
I'm interviewed
by a woman they can't
keep their hands off me.
>> Oh, so I should
control myself.
>> Watch your step.
Got to stay on your toes.
>> How do you respond to critics
who say you're movies
glamorize war?
>> Aw they're full of it.
Over the bench.
[ Music ]
>> Like I was saying,
critics don't know anything.
My pictures make
millions of dollars.
You want to know why?
>> No. Yes?
>> Because I represent
the American ideal.
Meat and potatoes.
Monday night football,
two cars in every garage,
that's why I stay in shape,
people won't buy me killing
commies with a fat gut.
Under the log.
Come on.
[ Music ]
>> Have your political views
made it difficult for you
to film in foreign countries?
>> Well, yeah, but well
I can't help it they were
born foreigners.
Like when we were on
shoot Lost in Combat,
part six in the Philippines,
they got offended just
because I wouldn't eat that rice
and fish crap they
serve down there.
So I had prime rib
flown in every day.
Around the trees.
>> Uh. Oh.
>> I send you out to talk
to a popular action star
and you massacre the guy.
>> I massacred him?
>> Listen to this, Aaron
pushes US supremacy to a point
that makes John Wayne
look like a liberal.
>> Just a casual observation.
>> Oh, really?
Well, what about here where you
referred to him as a sexist pig?
>> I call them as I see them.
>> I wanted an interview,
not a barbecue.
Angela, sweetheart, Hollywood
Beat is an entertainment
magazine, so just hold all the
politics for the editorial page.
>> Baxter, you don't
have an editorial page.
>> Precisely.
What happened to your face?
>> I cut myself shaving.
>> I find it becoming.
So when can I expect
the rewrite?
>> Ah.
>> Look, I can give it
to one of the guys to do
if you don't think
you can handle it.
>> When do you want it?
>> You're late.
[ Music ]
[ Pounding Sound ]
[ Screaming ]
>> What the hell do
you think you're doing?
>> Well, I'm just doing
some repairs in here.
>> Look what you did to my wall.
>> Yes, ma'am, I'm
real sorry about that.
Hey, you know what
you ought to do?
You ought to talk
to the manager.
Sure is a nice place
you've got here.
>> Ooh.
>> You all have a
good day now, hear.
[Singing] Oh, there ain't no
rest for the working class.
Boss sits at home
in a big fat chair.
[ Sawing & Pounding Sounds ]
>> Mr. Carrillo, what
is going on here?
>> We're earthquake
proofing senorita.
>> Oh, is that so?
Well, some Neanderthal
just installed a porthole
in my living room.
>> What?
>> One of your men
knocked a hole in my wall.
>> Don't you worry
senorita, we'll fix it.
>> Oh, you'll bet you'll fix it.
How long is this
all going to take?
>> Oh, they should be
done in one more week.
>> What about all this noise?
>> It's okay.
They go home at six.
>> But I work at
home during the day.
I am a freelancer
writer, comprende?
>> Si comprendo senorita,
but maybe you can
write at night, no?
>> No.
I think I'd prefer
the earthquake.
Hello, Aunt Sarah,
this is Angela.
Angela, your niece.
Who else would call
you Aunt Sarah?
Yes, yes, I know it's
very noisy in here,
that's why I'm calling you.
Do you still have that house
up in Malibu, the one that used
to belong to your half-sister?
Can I use it for
the next week or so?
Oh, that's terrific.
You don't know how
much this means to me.
Great, I will drive up
first thing in the morning.
Thanks.
Bye.
Great.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
>> Who are you?
What are you doing here?
>> I - I was asleep.
>> And?
>> And you woke me up.
>> Okay, so who are you?
>> My - my name is BeeJay,
and I work for the
owner of this place.
>> Aunt Sarah?
>> Yes, that's the
one, Aunt Sarah.
Hey, you related to her?
>> I'm Angela, Angela Reid.
I'm going to be staying here.
>> What happened to your nose?
You run into a telephone pole?
>> No, a tree.
>> Oh, cool.
>> My sentiments exactly.
So tell me what do
you do around here?
>> Well, I stop around
every few days.
Chase the dust around.
Well, and make sure nobody
ripped the place off.
>> Aunt Sarah doesn't
spend much time here?
>> Are you kidding?
No way.
>> Why?
>> You mean you don't
know what happened here?
Oh, oh wow.
>> Well, I know this place used
to belong to her half-sister.
>> Half-sister?
The one and only Billie Blaine,
Goddess of the Silver Screen?
Excuse me for living.
>> She was a little before
your time, wasn't she?
>> I watched The Late Late Show.
Hey, and there was
nobody else like her.
She had this sexy voice
and this awesome bod,
and this unbelievable
set of cones.
>> Cones?
>> You know, cones,
biditties, bazoongas.
>> Yeah, right.
>> And it was in this very
house that back in 1962.
Billie Blaine at the height
of her career snuffed herself.
>> You mean she --
>> Bought the farm,
bit the big one.
She ate a whole bottle
of barbi's
and went for a swim face down.
>> Aunt Sarah never told me
there was a suicide here.
>> Why do you think she
doesn't come around here?
She can't even sell this place.
>> Oh, you're not trying to
tell me this place is haunted?
>> I didn't say that.
>> Then what are you saying?
>> Nothing.
Want a brew?
>> BeeJay.
>> Do I look like the kind of
guy who believes in ghosts?
>> You look like you'd believe
in the Loch Ness Monster.
>> [Laughter] Loch Ness Monster,
I like that, that's funny.
Okay, okay, it's just
that some people, not me,
but some people have seen
and heard things around here.
>> What kind of things?
>> You know, the usual, weird
noises and things like that.
And sometimes like right
around dawn people say
that they've seen this beautiful
blonde running out of the house,
down the steps, onto the beach,
and she takes off her nightgown,
and she disappears
into the surf.
Hey, whoa, whoa,
watch out there.
>> It's nothing, it's nothing.
>> You're a little
nervous, aren't you?
>> Oh, me?
Oh, no, no, it's just -- it
took me by surprise, that's all.
>> Well, I got to get going.
[ Music ]
I'll stop back in a few days,
but if you need me before then
my number is on the frigerator.
>> Thanks.
>> Okay. Oh, yeah, and one more
thing, watch out for the ghost.
Oh, no.
[ Music ]
[ Knocking Sound ]
>> Hello?
Hello, is anybody there?
[ Music ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
Haaaa!
[ Music ]
Whoever is in there you'd
better give yourself up.
I have a gun, I won't
hesitate to shoot.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
I have had just about enough of
you for one night, Ms. Blaine.
I am going for a walk.
[ Music ]
>> People say that they've seen
this beautiful blonde running
out of the house, down
the steps, onto the beach,
and she takes off her
nightgown, and she disappears
into the surf, surf,
surf, surf, surf, surf.
[ Music ]
>> Hi, having a nice
evening ma'am [screaming].
Take it easy, I'm not
going to hurt you,
I'm just walking my dog.
See?
>> I'm sorry I yelled.
>> I'm Tom Farrell.
Say, why were you
crawling around out there?
Did you lose something?
>> No, I was following
some footprints.
>> Footprints?
You mean these?
>> No, no, no.
Those are mine.
These -- they were right there.
They led from the steps
at the back of my house
out to the water, and
I was following --
hi, I'm Angela Reid.
>> Nice to meet you.
What are you doing up
playing Indian scout?
>> I'm a writer.
>> No kidding?
So am I. I work for The Herald.
>> Oh, that's a really
good paper.
>> Yeah, I think so.
I'm on vacation, spending
a few weeks at the beach.
How about you?
>> Me? No, I'm working.
>> Oh, yeah?
Which paper?
>> Well, actually, it's a
magazine, Hollywood Beat.
>> Oh, sounds like fun.
>> Yeah, loads of laughs.
>> Say, if you're free some
night maybe we could go
for a drink, maybe dinner?
>> Yeah, I don't know,
I'm kind of busy.
>> Oh, come on, you can't
write around the clock.
What about it?
>> Okay, maybe.
>> Great. So how do I reach you?
>> Right up there.
>> You must have
some electric bill.
Hey, well, wait a minute,
isn't that the Billie
Blaine ghost house?
>> What is it with
everyone around here?
Do you all believe
in the Boogeyman?
>> I didn't mean
anything, it just happens
to be a well-known
landmark, that's all.
>> Yeah, that's what I love
about this town, some freaked
out starlet decides to kill
herself and everyone wants
to build a legend around it.
I think it's disgusting.
>> What did I say?
>> Nothing.
[ Music ]
>> Careful, you don't
want to do that again.
It's good meeting the
neighbors, isn't it, girl?
[ Music ]
>> There.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
[ Silence ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
I didn't mean to
friten, to frighten you.
Please help me.
Billie Blaine.
BeeJay, I want to talk to you.
BeeJay, I said --
BeeJay?
>> Oh, man, now look what I
did, I gave her three nipples.
Hey, maybe she looks better
with three, what do you think?
>> I'd say you're indulging
in some wishful thinking.
Listen, BeeJay.
BeeJay, I have a serious
question to ask you,
and if such a thing is
possible I really would
like a serious answer, okay?
>> Okay, shoot?
>> Did you for any
reason go back
to the beach house last night?
>> No.
>> You're sure?
>> Sure I'm sure.
I don't forget things like that.
>> Then who wrote this?
>> Oh, wow, where
did you get this?
>> I found it on the table
next to my typewriter.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Boy when you said you were
a fan, you weren't kidding.
>> Hey, ever since I saw In the
Gilded Goddess I was hooked.
Here it is, the real thing.
When I was a kid back East I
traded my entire baseball card
collection for this.
See, the same.
>> Wow.
>> I told you, the
place is haunted.
[ Music ]
>> Why start smoking now?
>> Give me a break.
They say it's supposed
to calm you down.
>> You know it's
very bad for you.
>> Oh, so what?
>> So quit while you're ahead.
>> What do you -- is that
my conscience talking to me?
>> Guess again.
>> All right, all right.
Who said that?
Who is it?
Answer me.
No, who is it?
>> Come on, you know who it is.
>> No, I don't.
>> Yes, you do.
>> No, I don't.
>> Of course, you
do, silly, it's me.
>> Oh, no, no, no.
This is not happening to me.
I must be dreaming,
that's it, that's it.
I am dreaming, I'm dreaming.
>> Angela, this isn't a dream.
>> Yes, it is.
>> No, it isn't.
>> Okay, prove it.
>> All right, I'll prove it,
but you've got to promise me
that you won't get scared.
>> Okay, okay, I promise.
>> Okay, here goes nothing.
Hi.
[ Screaming ]
You promised you
wouldn't get scared.
>> Okay, so I lied.
>> I'm not going to hurt you.
>> Well, what do you want?
>> I've been trying
to contact you,
didn't you get my
message last night?
>> Yes, I did.
>> Sometimes I get so
lonely, I could scream.
>> Please don't, I don't think
I could handle that again.
>> Gosh, no, I wouldn't do that,
after all I need your help.
>> How can I help you?
>> My spirit is stuck
here on earth
until I discover how I died.
Probable suicide
just doesn't cut it.
Actually, I was hoping they'd
send someone different,
you know?
Tall, dark, handsome.
But since you're a relative
and all I guess you're it.
>> Is that supposed
to be good news?
[ Knocking ]
>> Someone's coming.
>> Wait, wait, don't go.
[ Knocking ]
>> Hi, what's going on?
>> Nothing, nothing,
why do you ask?
>> No reason.
Hey, are you okay?
You look like you've
just seen a ghost.
>> Funny you should say that.
>> Mind if I come in?
You sure I'm not
interrupting anything?
>> Do you believe
in life after death?
>> I don't know, yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
>> Then you think it's possible
that a person's spirit could
come back and visit the living?
>> [Laughter] Well, I
don't know about that.
Those things don't
happen every day.
>> That's what you think.
>> I beg your pardon?
>> What would you
do if the ghost
of a say a famous
movie star appeared
in front of you right now?
>> Well, I'd ask her about
her life, her career,
and then I'd get
her phone number.
>> Tom, I'm serious.
>> It would make one hell
of an article, though.
>> Yeah, I hadn't
thought of that.
>> Yeah, sure, imagine
what it would be
like to interview a ghost, say,
the ghost of Napoleon,
Einstein or Hitler?
Well maybe not Hitler.
But you get my drift?
>> I sure do.
>> But, of course, we
can't talk to the dead.
>> No, of course not.
>> It'd be nice if we
could, but we can't.
>> But we can't.
Listen, it was so nice
of you to stop by.
We really should do
this again sometime.
>> Oh, yeah.
Hey, you want to go for a drink?
>> Oh, I'd love to.
I'm really busy right now.
>> I didn't mean
now, I meant later?
>> Later, sure, I'd
love it, that's great.
Bye.
Billie? Billie?
>> That girl is nuts,
cute but nuts.
[ Music ]
>> Morning you.
>> Hello, yourself.
>> It's you.
>> Of course silly.
Who'd you expect?
>> It's good to see you.
>> It's good to see
you, too, Angela.
>> Billie, there was something
I wanted to talk to you about.
>> Really?
What?
>> Well, it can wait until
you're finished in here.
>> Okay.
[ Music ]
>> Boo!
>> Oh, Billie, don't
sneak up on me like that.
>> I didn't mean to sneak.
I faded in.
>> Well, don't fade
in behind me, okay?
>> Sorry. So what did you
want to talk to me about?
>> You said you wanted me
to help you free
your spirit, right?
>> Right.
>> And the way to
do that is to find
out what happened
to you that night.
>> Right.
>> Well, I'm going to
need some background.
Billie, I would like
to interview you
for Hollywood Beat.
>> Really?
What's Hollywood Beat?
>> It's kind of a fan magazine.
>> Oh, they used to write
about me all the time.
Hey, this isn't some
kind of a joke, is it?
>> Huh-uh, cross my heart
and hope to -- honest.
>> Oh, this is going to be just
crazy, like the good old days.
When do we get started?
I was in this hotel
on the Riviera,
locked out on the balcony with
nothing on but my goodwill.
I climbed onto the
balcony next door and ran
into this simply creamy
banker, smack in the middle
of the Wall Street Journal.
Boy, was he ever surprised.
He never even got
to finish his paper.
Did you get all that?
>> Uh-huh.
>> Oh, will you look at him?
>> Billie, what is
it with you and men?
>> I just love them, that's all.
Short ones, tall ones,
thin ones, fat ones.
>> Didn't you ever
have any friends?
You know, female friends?
>> Not really.
You're my first one, ever.
Gosh, Angie, I don't know
what I would have done
if you hadn't come along.
Life sure doesn't prepare
you for being dead.
>> That almost sounded profound.
>> So what about you?
Who was that guy
who was here before?
>> You mean Tom?
He's just someone I met.
>> So do you like him?
>> I don't know, maybe.
>> Angie, either
you do or you don't.
>> So what if I do?
>> Well, you might
show it a little.
>> Just because I like a
guy doesn't mean I have
to throw myself at him.
>> Who said anything about
throwing yourself at him?
If you play it right
he'll jump you.
>> Billie, it's almost 1990,
women are different today.
>> Hey, you want
to go for a walk?
>> Billie, how did
you -- you know?
>> What?
>> Die. I know, it
wasn't suicide, was it?
Hey, I didn't mean to upset
you, I just wanted to know.
>> I wish I could tell you.
>> Well if you don't
want to talk about it,
believe me, I'll understand.
>> No, it's not that, you
see, I've tried and tried
to remember what happened
that night, it just --
it just keeps coming up blank.
>> You don't remember anything?
>> Everything before is
crystal clear, then kafluey.
>> Kafluey?
>> Uh-huh.
I'm dead, and I don't
even know how or why.
All I know is I'm stuck
here and I can't leave.
>> Billie, honey,
it's not so bad.
>> That's easy for you to say.
>> Hey, you've still
got your looks.
Everyone wonders what's
going to happen to them
after they're gone
but you already know.
Sure, it's not a picnic, but at
least it's better than nothing.
Billie?
Billie?
[ Music ]
Billie, there you are.
I was wondering where
you'd gone.
Come on over here, take a look
at what I've written so far?
[ Music ]
Billie? Billie, come back!
No, don't!
[ Music ]
>> Oops, sorry.
>> Excuse me.
>> Billie Blaine,
In Her Own Words.
What happened to
Chuck Aaron's story?
>> I got a little sidetracked.
>> Wow, that's completely
irresponsible.
I mean I'm putting this
new issue to press tonight.
Angela, how could
you do this to me?
>> Just put Billie Blaine
in place of Rambo Junior.
She's a lot more
interesting, believe me.
>> She has been dead
for more than 25 years.
>> Well, I know that.
I ran across an old
diary of hers
in the house I'm staying at.
>> An old diary?
You know, this whole
thing is starting to sound
like something out
of a Nancy Drew.
>> Are you feeling all right?
>> Does it sound like it?
I'll be back in a minute.
>> So what does he
think of our story?
>> What are you doing here?
>> I wanted to come along.
I haven't been anywhere
since 1962.
>> You haven't?
>> No, every time I tried
to leave the house it felt
like someone nailed my shoes
to the floor, but when I'm
with you it's different.
I just got in the
car and came along.
>> That's nice Billie
but you can't stay.
Somebody is going to see you.
>> Oh, no.
No one can see me
unless I want them to.
Right now you're the
only one who can.
>> Oh, well, just
keep it that way
and don't say anything
either, okay?
>> Okay.
>> Angela, are you
talking to yourself?
>> No, I was talking to
my imaginary playmate.
Baxter, say hello?
>> Nice to see you pal.
You are putting on a
little weight, aren't you?
>> How rude.
Why, I never.
>> So what about the piece?
>> Angela, sweetheart,
this Blaine dame is old
news, she's history.
>> I am not.
>> She's more than history,
she's a Hollywood legend.
>> Yes.
>> Think about it, Baxter,
you could be the first
to publish her long,
lost autobiography.
>> Which you just happened to
find after all of these years?
Oh, come on, there's something
fishy about this whole thing.
Besides nobody is interested
in reading crap like that.
>> Crap?
>> No.
>> Angela, you can't let
him treat you like that.
>> Baxter, you can't
treat me like that.
>> What?
>> You can take Hollywood
Beat and stick it.
>> That's telling him.
>> If you're not interested
in the article there are many
other magazines who will be.
>> So put that in your
pipe and smoke it, Buster.
>> Oh, come on, you
wouldn't do that to me?
>> Try me.
>> Yeah, try us.
>> All right, all right,
sit down, will you, please?
We can talk about this.
>> So. You'll do it as a series?
>> Maybe.
>> All right.
>> At double the normal rate.
>> Hey, you're pretty sharp.
>> Double, I don't
have money like that.
>> No problem.
>> All right, all
right, all right, okay.
Boy, you drive a hard bargain.
>> Here you go, this should
fit right in the spot you saved
for the Chuck Aaron piece.
See you next issue.
>> Oh, my God.
>> That'll teach you not to
talk that way about a lady.
>> Just get away, just
get away, I'm leaving.
Look at this?
>> It becomes you.
[ Laughter ]
[ Music ]
>> Angela look!
>> Billie.
>> The new issue of
Hollywood Beat is here.
>> Well let me see.
Whoa, a cover story, Baxter.
Billie Blaine in her own
words, by Angela Reid.
>> With an uncredited
assist from me.
>> Pretty good for
a ghost writer.
>> Yeah. Can I read
it first, please?
>> Sure, go ahead.
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello?
>> Ms. Reid?
>> Yes?
>> I was told I could
reach you there.
I just finished your
article in Hollywood Beat.
>> And what about it?
>> I'm very interested
in purchasing the
diary of Billie Blaine.
>> I'm sorry but
it's not for sale.
Who is this?
>> Ms. Reid, I'm sure you know
perfectly well who this is,
and I'm also sure that you
know that I'd be willing
to pay handsomely for it.
>> This is Murray over
at Tinsel Town, isn't it?
>> My offer is 25,000 for
you to drop your story
and hand over the diary.
>> Look, I don't know
what magazine you're with,
but in any case my answer is no.
>> Well, I'm sorry you don't
want to cooperate, Ms. Reid.
Nevertheless, I am
going to get that diary.
It just would have been so
much simpler for you this way.
Well, it looks like
we're going to have
to do things the
old-fashioned way.
>> Who was that on the phone?
>> I don't know, probably
just a crank call.
Hey, I've got an idea, why don't
we go out to a club tonight?
>> Do you mean it?
>> Sure. The first
installment is already out,
the second one isn't due
for a couple of weeks,
we owe ourselves a break.
>> That would be just swell.
I wonder what I should wear?
Well, what do you think?
>> I think it would be
great if we were going
to the Academy Awards.
>> Is it really too much?
>> Or too little, depending
on how you look at it.
>> Well, I really don't know
what's in fashion these days.
>> Don't worry about it, Billie,
besides no one can see you.
Let's just go out there
and have a great time.
>> I can't if I look yucky.
>> Trust me you don't
look yucky.
[ Music ]
>> Hey Marco, she's
talking to herself.
>> So what you talk to yourself.
>> No, I don't.
>> Yes, you do.
>> I do not.
>> Hey, she's taking off.
Let's get the diary.
>> I don't talk to myself.
>> Just shut up, all right?
[ Music ]
>> Well I'll be a
monkey's uncle.
I've never seen anything
like this.
[ Music ]
Oh, would you look at those two.
Aren't they just wild?
>> Aren't you forgetting
you're a ghost?
>> Party pooper.
Can we at least get a drink?
>> What? You can't drink.
>> Says who?
I'm over 21.
In fact I'm over 51.
>> All right, if you
insist, but I'll order.
>> Okay.
>> What'll it be?
>> A flying pinkie-dinky
straight up.
>> A flying pinkie-dinky
straight up.
>> Make it two.
>> Make it two, please?
>> Okay.
>> What's in those, anyway?
>> Never mind, it's yummy.
>> That'll be $7.
>> Seven bucks for two drinks?
Holy cow.
>> Welcome to the '80s.
>> Huh?
>> Oh, nothing.
[ Music ]
>> Here's mud in your eye.
[ Music ]
Come on, Angie?
Down the hatch.
You don't want it?
>> Honey, it's all yours.
>> If you insist.
Hey, what's the big idea?
>> Do you want to
cause a panic in here?
Use a straw.
>> Oh alright.
[ Music ]
>> Try not to drink
so fast, will you?
>> Oh, don't be such a killjoy.
I can hold my liquor
better than anyone.
>> Hey, Ms. Reid?
>> Oh, no.
>> I didn't expect to see you.
What's going on?
>> Oh, nothing.
I'm just hanging
out here by myself.
>> Yeah?
>> Just call me a
two-fisted drinker.
>> Cool. You mind if I sit down?
I've been thinking about that
letter you got, you know,
the one from Billie Blaine?
I think she was trying
to make contact with you.
>> Oh, yeah?
>> Oh, no doubt about
it, but I got this idea.
You see what if you were
to hook-up your typewriter
to a Ouija Board, then
you could ask her things
and the Ouija Board could
type out the answers?
>> How would you hook
the two together?
>> I don't know, I haven't
figured that part out yet.
Maybe if you, well, if you
hooked it up to a lightning rod
and held the séance
during the storm.
Nah, nah, that would never work,
it never rains in California.
So how do you like this place?
>> Would you just
excuse me for a minute?
I have to go powder my nose.
[ Music ]
>> Nice buns.
[ Music ]
>> Not there.
Not there either.
[ Music ]
>> Hey, did you check
this out already or what?
>> No, you're supposed
to look in the closets.
>> Hey, I didn't
know it was a closet.
>> I don't know,
open it and see.
>> Oh, Mr. Woopies.
I'll Mr. Woopies you.
[ Music ]
>> Billie?
Billie?
>> My name is Billie.
>> Sorry, I'm looking for
a different named Billie.
>> What's the matter,
wrong color?
>> No, wrong sex.
>> Ooh, baby, that
shit turns me on.
[ Music ]
>> Who does she think she is?
[ Music ]
>> Who the hell is that?
[ Music ]
>> Looks like a frigging
movie star.
[ Music ]
>> Check out the
blonde in the dress?
>> Yeah.
I'd sure like to
go home with that.
>> Me, too.
>> Excuse me.
Do you see that girl over there?
>> Oh, I sure do.
>> What about you,
do you see her, too?
>> There's nothing
wrong with my eyes.
[ Music ]
>> Is she a friend of yours?
>> Not for long.
[ Music ]
>> She's not doing what
I think she's doing.
Is she?
>> Let me through please.
Let me through.
[ Music ]
>> Get over here.
That chick is taking
her clothes off
and this is not a strip joint.
Get up there and stop her
before she shuts us down.
[ Music ]
>> Oh boy.
>> Please don't take it off.
>> Oh jeez.
>> Billie whatever you
do, don't take it off.
>> Oh, shoot.
[ Background Conversations ]
[ Music ]
>> What were you trying
to prove out there?
Are you crazy?
>> They loved me.
>> Of course, they loved
you, they loved your cones.
Hurry up and get dressed.
>> I am dressed.
>> Right, let's get out of here.
>> Just a minute.
>> Hey, what's the big
idea screwing up our act?
>> [Laughter] You
call that an act?
>> Look, my friend here
has had a little too much
to drink, you know how that is?
Let's just forget
the whole thing.
>> No, you're not
getting off that easy.
>> Yeah.
>> Don't you push my
great-niece like that.
>> Oh, yeah?
Why don't you stop me?
>> Ooh. Hey.
>> Hey, watch your
aim, you clumsy ox.
>> I'll show you who's clumsy.
[ Music ]
>> Excuse me, excuse me.
>> Somebody may have
recognized you.
>> Don't be silly no one
in a million years would
think that it's really me.
>> Hey, you're Billie Blaine.
>> I think your million
years are up.
>> Wait a minute, wait a minute.
[ Music ]
>> Oh jeez, that was close.
>> Oh, I guess those drinks
went right to my head.
>> Yeah, well, it just
goes to show you ghosts
and alcohol don't mix.
Now go make yourself
invisible so you don't get us
into any more trouble, okay?
>> Okay.
>> I still see you.
>> Of course you do.
>> Well how do I
know no one else can?
>> Ask someone.
>> Excuse me, sir?
>> Uh-huh.
>> Can you see my
friend over there?
[ Music ]
>> Okay, okay.
>> Oh, would you look at that.
>> Billie come back here.
>> Isn't it just the dreamiest
thing you've ever seen?
>> Take it easy Billie,
it's just a car.
>> Just a car?
And I suppose the Taj
Mahal is just a building?
Angela, this is a chariot.
I used to have one just like it.
It's very nice, but we
have to go home now.
>> Billie, what are you doing?
Would you get out of that car,
what if the owner comes back?
>> You like old cars, huh?
>> Hi.
>> Hi.
>> Is this your car?
>> Uh-huh, she's a
beauty, isn't she?
You don't see many
of them around.
>> Ask him to take
us for a spin.
>> No!
No, I haven't seen any
in such great condition.
>> Well thanks.
So what are you doing tonight?
>> Oh, nothing much,
I'm just out and about.
>> Out and about, huh?
>> So how is your dog?
>> Oh, pretty good,
you want a bite?
>> No, I meant your other dog?
>> Oh, her.
She's fine, she decided to stay
home tonight and do her nails.
Women.
>> Oh, I see.
>> Here they are.
>> Hey, you left your
keys in the ignition.
>> I did? No, I didn't.
I guess I did.
I could have sworn -- hey, I'm
lucky somebody didn't steal it.
>> Don't speak too soon.
[ Car Starting ]
>> What the hell?
>> Hey it starts
great, doesn't it?
>> Yes, thanks, but how
in the heck did that --
>> I'm going for a drive.
>> Want to go for a drive?
>> I'll drive.
>> I wanted to drive.
>> You coming or not?
>> Yeah sure.
>> There just hop in the back.
>> Here we go.
[ Music ]
>> Hey, you nearly
hit those guys.
>> I missed them by a mile.
>> I did? I'll have to drive
a lot more carefully, won't I?
>> Hey, you're going
a little fast.
Don't you think you
should slow down?
>> I'm trying.
>> I hate backseat drivers.
>> So where we going anyway?
>> That's a good question.
>> It looks like we're
headed towards Santa Barbara.
>> We are?
>> Yes, we are.
>> Perhaps we should turn
the car around and go back.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Tom I'm sorry, I
just lost control.
Tom! Billie, take the wheel.
Tom, Tom, do you think
he has a concussion?
>> No, he probably just fainted.
He was such a nervous passenger.
>> With the way you drive I'm
surprised he didn't have a
heart attack.
Tom?
[ Music ]
>> Hey, did you see that?
>> Must be some kind
of a college prank.
>> Let's get them, huh?
Come on.
>> Wait a minute,
get the coffee off --
>> Reverse first, then forward.
What the hell did they
teach you at the academy?
>> I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
>> Okay, just take it nice
and easy, nice and easy.
>> I said easy.
>> He's not waking up.
>> Good.
>> What do mean good?
>> I don't think he'd be too
thrilled by what's behind us.
>> The light, the light.
>> [Sirens] Oh, great,
just great.
Let me drive.
>> No, I got us into this
mess, I'll get us out of it.
Let's see what this
baby can really do.
>> Now that is what I call some
seriously reckless driving.
>> They're going to lock me
up and throw away the key.
>> They'll have to
catch us first.
>> Look out.
>> This is not my idea of fun.
>> Holy Toledo, these
guys are fast.
This calls for drastic
measures, steer for me.
>> What the hell is
going on out there?
>> I don't know.
[ Music & Sirens ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
>> What happened?
Where are the cops?
>> Oh, they had a
little accident.
>> Bob.
>> Yeah?
>> You mashed my donut.
>> How's he doing?
>> Still out like a light.
>> Oh well, I'll take
us somewhere quiet
where you can revive him.
[ Music ]
>> Billie, what are
we stopping here for?
This looks like a make out spot.
I'm not going to give
him mouth-to-mouth.
>> What better way
to wake a guy up?
>> Billie!
>> Shush, he's coming to.
I'll see you later.
>> Don't you dare.
Billie. Billie.
>> The name is Tom.
Where are we?
Great view.
>> Yes, it is, isn't it?
>> So the last thing I remember
is you were driving real fast.
>> I was driving you home,
but you fell asleep so I --
>> So you decided to take me up
here and take advantage of me?
>> No, no, that wasn't
the idea, at all.
>> Oh, no?
Then what'd you have in mind?
>> Like you said,
it's a great view.
[ Music ]
This is so unexpected.
>> I know.
Especially after the way you
treated me the other day.
>> Tom, I am so sorry about
that, I can explain everything.
>> Ah, there's no need to.
>> Yes, there is.
You seem like a nice guy and you
really should know the truth.
>> Well, thanks.
>> It's her, it's Billie Blaine.
>> Who is?
>> The ghost, the one
that's in my house,
the one that's been
driving your car.
>> What are you talking about?
>> Okay, I know this is hard
to believe, but it's true,
I've seen her, I've
talked to her.
I'm writing her biography.
>> Your writing her biography?
>> Well, actually, she's
writing it with me,
but we're saying it came
from an old diary of hers
because we don't want
everyone to know she's dead.
Well, actually, everyone
knows she's dead
but we don't want everyone
to think she can write
still, you understand?
>> Yeah.
>> What's wrong?
>> Oh, nothing.
Nothing, at all.
>> Tom, you don't think
I'm making this up, do you?
>> Look I don't know
what to think.
You're a very pretty
girl and a good kisser,
but if you think you're seeing
ghosts you need something other
than a boyfriend.
>> But, Tom, I swear.
>> And if you're making this
up just to break the mood,
it'd be a lot simpler just to
tell me you had a headache.
>> Oh.
Where are we going?
>> Home, yours.
>> Hey, wait, my car.
Oh, I left it at the club.
Billie?
>> I swear to God, Angela, I
had nothing to do with this.
>> Who did this?
>> I don't know, maybe burglars?
>> Oh, I'm too tired to
worry about this now.
I'll deal with the house, my
car, everything in the morning.
And, as for you, you
are in big trouble.
If we weren't writing this
story together I swear I'd --
good night.
[ Music ]
>> Dear Tom, please forgive
the way I acted last night.
Come over for a drink
around seven,
and I'll make it up to you.
Love, Angela.
>> I can't trust you guys
to do the simplest thing.
>> Boss, we pulled
the place apart.
>> Yeah, there was no
sign of it anywhere.
>> You've got to believe us.
>> All right, all
right, I believe you.
Maybe it is somewhere else.
>> Yeah, then how are
we going to find it?
>> I guess we'll just have
to persuade her, won't we?
[ Music ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Music ]
>> Hi.
>> Hi.
>> These are for you.
>> Oh, thanks.
Come on in.
It's really sweet of you.
>> Well, I figured as long
as you made the first
gesture, well.
>> What?
>> Well when I got
your note inviting me
over here tonight I thought
it was the least I could do.
>> What? I didn't.
Billie.
>> Tom, Tom Farrell.
>> Yeah, right.
Come, won't you sit down?
Can I get you something
to drink?
>> Sure.
>> What would you like?
>> Oh, it doesn't matter.
Whatever you're having is fine.
>> All I really want is you.
>> I beg your pardon?
>> Will a coke do?
>> Yeah.
>> If she wasn't already dead.
>> Fine.
>> Turn down the lights
and put on some soft music.
>> Okay.
[ Music ]
>> Tom?
>> Over here, babe.
>> Why did you turn
off the lights?
>> Well, you didn't tell
me where the dimmer was.
Is the music okay?
>> Sure.
>> Well, I have to admit
I was pretty surprised
when you asked me
over here tonight.
>> Me, too.
>> Huh?
>> That's me, unpredictable.
>> Well, I like that.
Most of the women I meet,
especially writers,
are so boring.
>> Then why don't you
just shut-up and kiss me?
>> All right, I will.
What's the matter?
>> Nothing, nothing.
Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
>> I'm just going to slip into
something more comfortable.
>> In the kitchen?
Kinky.
>> Billie?
Billie, you come
here this instant.
Where do you get off
meddling in my affairs?
>> If I didn't meddle you
wouldn't have any affairs.
>> That is none of
your business.
I was doing just
fine without you.
>> Not from where
I was watching.
Things haven't changed
that much since my day,
the way you were going
you'll wind-up an old maid.
>> Oh, great, great, just what
I need, a sex education course
from some out-of-date bimbo.
>> Who are you calling
out-of-date?
>> You, you put women's
right back in the dark ages.
>> Well, we'll see how good you
do without my help, Ms. 1980s.
Because this is the
last you'll see of me.
>> Fine.
Hi, I'm back.
>> Who were you talking
to in there?
You're not going to go and
turn schizo on me, are you?
>> Me? No, no, no I was
talking to my Aunt Sarah.
>> Your Aunt Sarah?
>> On the phone.
You know how rough
dates can be sometimes.
Can I get you something
else to drink?
>> No, thanks.
Now that's more like it.
You don't still think
you're being haunted
by Billie Blaine, do you?
>> Not anymore.
We're the only ones here.
[ Music ]
[ Belching ]
[ Music ]
>> It looks like our subject
adjourning to the boudoir
to do a little horizontal
entertainment.
>> That means this is more
than a casual acquaintance.
Should I call the boss or what?
>> Hey, be my guest.
[ Music ]
>> Good morning.
>> Good morning.
>> You want me to make
us some breakfast?
>> Hooker.
>> What was that again?
>> Hooker.
>> That's what I
thought you said.
>> Make a sound meatball
and you're dead.
>> Tom?
Tom?
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello.
>> We have your friend,
Ms. Reid.
>> What friend?
>> The man you spent
last night with.
I'm willing to trade his
life for the diary you have.
>> Wait a minute, who is this?
>> The time for games
is long past, Ms. Reid.
I'll give you one
hour to decide,
and I wouldn't call the
authorities if I were you.
At the first sign of police
your friend is a dead man.
>> My God.
Tom.
>> Where is she?
>> Where's who?
>> Billie Blaine.
>> She's not here.
>> Oh, then you don't
deny that she was here,
just like you don't deny
that I saw you the other
night with her at Scream.
>> Yes, yes, it was her.
>> Then where is she?
>> Back in ghost land.
How would I know?
Look, I can't worry about her
now, Tom has been kidnapped.
>> Oh, no.
Who's Tom?
>> Think Angela, think.
They said they'd kill Tom if
I didn't give them the diary.
>> So why don't you just
give them the diary?
>> Because I don't have
it, it doesn't even exist.
Billie was telling me her
life story, I was writing it.
We had to explain
where it was coming
from so we made-up the diary.
Whoever kidnapped Tom must think
that Billie had written
something incriminating
about him.
It's got to be someone
she knows.
BeeJay, you've got to
help me call her back.
>> Me?
>> Yeah, she's kind of mad at
me right now, and since you're
such a big fan if you called
her maybe she'd come back.
>> Well, all right, but
I just feel really kind
of silly doing this.
Ah, Billie, Billie Blaine?
Yo, Billie, can I
get an autograph?
>> Certainly BeeJay,
anything you want.
>> Billie, I'm so
glad you're here.
>> I'm not speaking to you.
So, BeeJay, what would
you like me to sign?
>> Billie, I apologize for what
I said last night, I really do,
but you've got to help me.
Tom has been kidnapped.
>> Oh, no.
>> Who's Tom?
>> By who?
>> Well that's what I don't
know, it has to be someone
from your past, someone
who wouldn't want your
memoirs published.
>> Gosh, it could be a
hundred different guys.
>> And it has to be
someone who wasn't mentioned
in the first article,
does that help?
>> I don't know.
>> Were there married men?
>> No, but there was this
one guy I dated secretly.
I think he had mob connections,
so we never met in public,
it was always here or
some secluded place.
>> Good, good.
Do you remember his name?
>> Vinnie, Vinnie Carbone.
>> Vincent Carbone,
the politician?
He's running for the Senate.
>> No kidding?
I always knew he was ambitious.
Wait a minute, it
couldn't be Vinnie.
>> Why not?
>> We were going to get married.
We were going to announce it
to the public and everything.
In fact, he proposed to
me the night I drowned.
>> You never mentioned
that before.
>> I just remembered.
Wonder why?
>> Carbone, why does
that name sound familiar?
Why does that name
sound so familiar?
>> You probably heard
it on the news.
>> No, no, no, no.
>> What's this?
>> It's from a 1962 paper, its
Billie Blaine's death notice.
>> That's a pretty ghoulish
thing to carry around, isn't it?
>> I think it's sweet.
>> Oh, here it is,
right in the back here.
Carbone appointed
to Mayor's staff.
Vincent Carbone attended
ceremonies at City Hall,
accompanied by his
wife, Dorothy.
>> His wife?
>> What? You mean he
was already married?
>> Jesus, Billie, do you
know what this means?
>> Yeah, I sure do.
It means he was a no
good two timing bum.
>> He's a lot worse than that.
Don't you see, he couldn't marry
you, he already had a wife?
His political career
was just starting out.
He didn't come here
that night to propose.
>> You mean he --
>> He must have slipped an
overdose of barbiturates
into your drink, and then
he let the tide do the rest.
>> Oh, shit.
>> I guess I never did have
too much luck with men.
Five husbands, five divorces,
and the last guy decides
to kill me before
we even said I do.
>> Billie, honey, I know
this isn't easy for you,
but this guy murdered
once to prevent a scandal
and he'll do it again.
Even if I did have
the diary to give
to him he'd never let
Tom or me go free.
Please, you've got to help us.
>> What do you want me to do?
>> We've got to shift the
odds over to our side.
>> Count me in.
>> BeeJay, you mean it?
>> Sure thing let's
nail this butthole.
>> Yeah.
[ Music ]
>> She's clean.
>> Right this way.
[ Music ]
>> Billie?
Billie, are you still here?
>> I'm right here.
>> Oh, good.
Listen, I know how hard
it's going to be for you
to control your temper when you
see him, but please just try
to remember Tom's
life is at stake here.
>> Don't you worry, Angie.
>> Shush.
>> Well, well, Ms. Reid, how
nice to meet you face-to-face.
>> I'm sorry I can't
say the same thing.
>> Oh, come on now, you
can't allow yourself
to take these things personally.
May I pour you a drink?
>> No, thank you.
>> No? Well, I hope you
don't mind if I have one?
>> To think I used to
be in love with him.
>> So, Ms. Reid, I trust you
brought the diary with you?
>> No, I didn't.
>> Why not?
>> Because, Mr. Carbone,
once you have it what's
to stop you from
killing us both?
>> You must think I'm quite a
desperate character, don't you?
>> You have an affair
with a movie star,
then fake her suicide to protect
your career, now you're trying
to prevent your past from being
dredged up before the election.
I'd say you're living slime.
>> Now, look, Ms.
Reid, I'm warning you.
>> Please, please don't take
these things personally.
>> Your quite right.
After all, this is
strictly business, isn't it?
You know, that's
something Billie would never
have understood.
>> Oh, spare me.
>> I wanted to tell
her I was married,
that it would never
work out between us,
but the girl was crazy about me.
>> Don't flatter yourself.
>> She demanded more
and more of my time.
She never got enough of me.
>> I think I'm going
to throw up.
>> Billie?
>> Oh, yes, Billie, yeah.
You know, I really
think I did her a favor
when I slipped her those pills.
That girl never could
have lived without me.
>> Why you dirty --
>> Oh, what a nice
plant you have here.
>> Ms. Reid, how am I
going to get that diary?
>> The exchange will be made
tonight at a place of my choice.
I'll phone you later
with the address.
In the meantime, why
don't you round-up, say,
500,000 in small bills
and put it in a briefcase?
>> A half a million dollars?
>> Oh, just a little
get-away fund to keep us
at a safe distance
from your constituents.
>> Ms. Reid, you're pressing
your luck a little too far.
You might not make
it out of this house.
>> If I don't a lot of people
will be reading Billie Blaine's
memories of you by
tomorrow morning.
Can you afford that,
Mr. Carbone?
>> That's an awful lot of
money to raise on short notice.
>> I have every faith
in your ability
to raise a dishonest dollar.
Catch. I'll be in touch.
[ Music ]
>> Ow!
>> Talk to you later Vinnie.
>> Billie, you didn't?
>> I sure did, but he
ain't seen nothing yet.
>> Tony! Marco!
Get in here.
>> Okay, now to implement
phase two.
[ Music ]
>> Checked the place out, Boss,
the girl is already inside.
She came alone.
>> Are you sure about that?
No police?
>> I swear there ain't
no one for miles.
>> Tony, stay here, and
make sure he stays healthy
for the moment.
Marco, wait two minutes,
then come in through the back
and give this girl
a warm reception,
but make sure I have
the diary first.
[ Music ]
>> One please.
[ Laughter ]
[ Music ]
>> What are you all
dressed up for?
>> What do you mean?
Oh, this? Very funny.
Where's the diary?
>> Where's Tom?
>> He's outside and
he's going to stay there
until I get what I came for.
>> No, no that's not
what we agreed on.
>> You've got me,
my men have him.
Let's have it?
>> Let me see the money, first.
Okay, let's go.
>> Where?
>> On a little tour.
I hid the diary in
one of the exhibits.
>> One more minute.
[ Laughter ]
>> Look, I'll buy you a pizza
if you get off the phone.
>> Huh?
[ Music ]
>> He's all yours,
you know what I mean?
I got a date with a lady.
[ Music ]
[ Belching ]
[ Music ]
>> How much further is this?
>> Aren't you enjoying this?
I thought you used
to like movie stars?
[ Music ]
>> Yeah?
>> Hey, buddy, can
I bum a cigarette?
>> Hey get lost punk.
>> Come on, man, be a pal.
>> Beat it, douche bag.
>> Hey, that's no way to
treat a fellow human being.
Maybe the guy will be a
little more understanding
on the other side.
>> Hey douchie get the
hell away from there.
>> Oops, sorry, didn't
know you were all tied up.
>> All right, that's it.
When I get through with you
you'll wish you never were born.
>> Your mother uses steroids.
>> Hey eat this.
>> That's for not letting
me wear my pants, Guido.
>> Hey, don't shoot,
don't shoot.
>> I'm BeeJay.
>> I'm Tom.
>> Tom, I'm Angela's friend.
>> Yeah?
>> Is his name really Guido?
>> It's just a pet name.
Where is Angela?
>> She's inside with
that guy, Carbone.
>> Well, they ain't alone.
One of his goons just went
inside there after them.
>> Holy shit, I'd
better call the police.
>> Look, there's a phone in
the backseat, I'm going inside.
[ Music ]
>> What the heck?
[ Music ]
>> Is this your idea of a joke?
[ Music ]
>> You didn't think it would
be that easy, did you Vinnie?
>> Huh?
>> I'm not over there.
I'm right here.
What's the matter, Vinnie?
Aren't you glad to see me?
>> This can't be.
Your suppose to be --
Your dead.
>> That's right, would
you like to join me?
>> Stay back.
>> You can't hurt me,
Vinnie, not anymore,
you hurt me enough already.
[ Gunshots ]
[ Music ]
[ Gunshots ]
[ Music ]
You can run, but you can't hide.
>> Hey, have you seen --
no, I guess you haven't.
>> Look Rip Torn.
Hey, Boss.
Get back here.
Hey what are you doing?
>> Vinnie.
>> I can't take this.
>> Frankly, Vinnie,
I don't give a damn.
[ Music ]
>> Ooh, Vinnie.
Vinnie
[ Music ]
Good evening, Vinnie.
[ Music ]
Hi, Vinnie.
[ Music ]
I'm coming for you, Vinnie.
>> Oh, no.
>> We want you, Vinnie.
>> No, no, no.
>> Come back.
>> Hold it right there.
That's good.
It's time to say
goodnight Cinderella.
>> Tom?
[ Music ]
>> Tom look out!
Oh my God.
>> Tom, are you all right?
>> Yeah, yeah, I'm
okay, but let's get
out of here before
Bambam comes to.
>> Okay.
>> Come on.
>> [Sirens] What
happened in there?
What's going on?
>> I don't know, I
lost track of them.
>> You.
Your dead meat pal.
>> Hold it, pal.
Up against the wall
and spread them.
Come on.
>> Angela, what's going on here?
>> Baxter, so glad
you could make it.
>> You'd better have a very good
reason for getting me out here
in the middle of the night.
Now what are all these
other reporters doing here?
>> Sorry, Baxter, but this was
too big to be an exclusive.
>> What was too --
>> Help me.
Help me somebody.
Please help me she's after me.
>> Hey, buddy, what's
the problem?
>> She's after me,
don't you see?
>> Wait a minute, aren't
you Vincent Carbone?
>> Yes, yes, I am.
>> Mr. Carbone, a moment please?
>> You have to protect
me from her.
>> Protect you from who?
>> From her.
Don't you see, it's
Billie Blaine.
What's the matter, don't
you go to the movies?
>> They can't see me,
Vinnie, only you can.
>> What do you mean
they can't see you?
Of course, they can see you.
You can see her, can't you?
She's standing right over there
in a low-cut evening gown.
>> They can't protect
you from me, Vinnie,
not if they can't see me.
I can haunt you for
the rest of your days.
>> No, no please, I'll do
anything, just leave me alone.
Please, I'll do anything.
>> Maybe if you tell them
exactly what happened
that night?
>> No I couldn't do that,
my career would be ruined.
They'd throw me in jail,
maybe the gas chamber.
I couldn't do that.
>> Well, then I guess you
and I will be seeing
a lot of each other.
What are your plans
for the next 20 years?
>> You win.
I confess.
Did you hear that, everyone?
Billie Blaine didn't kill
herself, it was me back in 1962.
Yeah, I did it.
I gave her an overdose
and let her drown.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I confess.
[ Music ]
>> Angela, this is sensational,
I mean it's not every day
that you see a candidate
crack-up in front of the media.
Now you said that he
had kidnapped somebody?
>> Yes, he did.
Herb Baxter, meet Tom Farrell.
>> Hi.
>> Tom is a writer, too.
>> No kidding?
Listen, I wonder
could I interest you
in writing a piece for us?
I mean say impressions
of a kidnap victim?
>> Ah, I don't know.
>> Baxter.
>> No, no, no, I'll expect
a story from you, as well,
but I just thought
that, you know,
like we could put
them both together
and make a feature out of it.
>> Well, whatever,
you're going to have
to wait till we get
back from our vacation.
>> What vacation?
Where are you two going?
>> We'll send you a postcard.
>> Hey?
>> I used to write
in high school.
>> Isn't that nice.
>> I wonder what made
Carbone fall apart like that?
I've never seen anything
like it.
>> Oh, just forget about it,
let's talk about this vacation.
>> Sounds good to me.
>> Aren't you two
forgetting something?
>> Billie, I thought
you'd moved on.
>> Well, now that I
have a choice I figured
that I'd hang around
for a while.
Besides --
>> The money.
>> I thought you might
want it for your vacation.
Half a million dollars goes
a long way even in the '80s.
>> Thanks, Billie.
>> You mean there
really is a ghost.
>> That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
Tom, meet Billie.
>> There he goes again.
[ Music ]
>> Just put the other
one over here, please?
>> You had enough
waves yet, BeeJay?
>> No way, man, I
never get enough.
Guys, say hello to
Megan and Tabitha,
they're taking me
to a luau tonight.
Catch you later, man.
>> Later, BeeJay.
>> I guess that means we get
the whole evening to ourselves.
>> Not quite.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
[ Phone Ringing ]
>> Hi, this is Angela.
Please leave a message
at the beep.
>> Rise and shine, sweetheart.
I know you're listening.
Wake up, wake up.
I'll just sing until
you wake up.
When I'm calling you --
>> I'm up, I'm awake.
What time is it?
>> Don't you own a clock?
>> No, and my rooster died.
>> Oh, what a kidder.
I just called you to remind
you about your interview.
>> What interview?
>> The one with Chuck Aaron.
Oh, don't tell me you
forgot about your deadline?
>> Calm down, calm down,
Baxter, I remember, I remember.
Where am I supposed to meet him?
>> You run this far every day?
>> Ten miles a day.
Be aware of my location.
You know every time
I'm interviewed
by a woman they can't
keep their hands off me.
>> Oh, so I should
control myself.
>> Watch your step.
Got to stay on your toes.
>> How do you respond to critics
who say you're movies
glamorize war?
>> Aw they're full of it.
Over the bench.
[ Music ]
>> Like I was saying,
critics don't know anything.
My pictures make
millions of dollars.
You want to know why?
>> No. Yes?
>> Because I represent
the American ideal.
Meat and potatoes.
Monday night football,
two cars in every garage,
that's why I stay in shape,
people won't buy me killing
commies with a fat gut.
Under the log.
Come on.
[ Music ]
>> Have your political views
made it difficult for you
to film in foreign countries?
>> Well, yeah, but well
I can't help it they were
born foreigners.
Like when we were on
shoot Lost in Combat,
part six in the Philippines,
they got offended just
because I wouldn't eat that rice
and fish crap they
serve down there.
So I had prime rib
flown in every day.
Around the trees.
>> Uh. Oh.
>> I send you out to talk
to a popular action star
and you massacre the guy.
>> I massacred him?
>> Listen to this, Aaron
pushes US supremacy to a point
that makes John Wayne
look like a liberal.
>> Just a casual observation.
>> Oh, really?
Well, what about here where you
referred to him as a sexist pig?
>> I call them as I see them.
>> I wanted an interview,
not a barbecue.
Angela, sweetheart, Hollywood
Beat is an entertainment
magazine, so just hold all the
politics for the editorial page.
>> Baxter, you don't
have an editorial page.
>> Precisely.
What happened to your face?
>> I cut myself shaving.
>> I find it becoming.
So when can I expect
the rewrite?
>> Ah.
>> Look, I can give it
to one of the guys to do
if you don't think
you can handle it.
>> When do you want it?
>> You're late.
[ Music ]
[ Pounding Sound ]
[ Screaming ]
>> What the hell do
you think you're doing?
>> Well, I'm just doing
some repairs in here.
>> Look what you did to my wall.
>> Yes, ma'am, I'm
real sorry about that.
Hey, you know what
you ought to do?
You ought to talk
to the manager.
Sure is a nice place
you've got here.
>> Ooh.
>> You all have a
good day now, hear.
[Singing] Oh, there ain't no
rest for the working class.
Boss sits at home
in a big fat chair.
[ Sawing & Pounding Sounds ]
>> Mr. Carrillo, what
is going on here?
>> We're earthquake
proofing senorita.
>> Oh, is that so?
Well, some Neanderthal
just installed a porthole
in my living room.
>> What?
>> One of your men
knocked a hole in my wall.
>> Don't you worry
senorita, we'll fix it.
>> Oh, you'll bet you'll fix it.
How long is this
all going to take?
>> Oh, they should be
done in one more week.
>> What about all this noise?
>> It's okay.
They go home at six.
>> But I work at
home during the day.
I am a freelancer
writer, comprende?
>> Si comprendo senorita,
but maybe you can
write at night, no?
>> No.
I think I'd prefer
the earthquake.
Hello, Aunt Sarah,
this is Angela.
Angela, your niece.
Who else would call
you Aunt Sarah?
Yes, yes, I know it's
very noisy in here,
that's why I'm calling you.
Do you still have that house
up in Malibu, the one that used
to belong to your half-sister?
Can I use it for
the next week or so?
Oh, that's terrific.
You don't know how
much this means to me.
Great, I will drive up
first thing in the morning.
Thanks.
Bye.
Great.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
>> Who are you?
What are you doing here?
>> I - I was asleep.
>> And?
>> And you woke me up.
>> Okay, so who are you?
>> My - my name is BeeJay,
and I work for the
owner of this place.
>> Aunt Sarah?
>> Yes, that's the
one, Aunt Sarah.
Hey, you related to her?
>> I'm Angela, Angela Reid.
I'm going to be staying here.
>> What happened to your nose?
You run into a telephone pole?
>> No, a tree.
>> Oh, cool.
>> My sentiments exactly.
So tell me what do
you do around here?
>> Well, I stop around
every few days.
Chase the dust around.
Well, and make sure nobody
ripped the place off.
>> Aunt Sarah doesn't
spend much time here?
>> Are you kidding?
No way.
>> Why?
>> You mean you don't
know what happened here?
Oh, oh wow.
>> Well, I know this place used
to belong to her half-sister.
>> Half-sister?
The one and only Billie Blaine,
Goddess of the Silver Screen?
Excuse me for living.
>> She was a little before
your time, wasn't she?
>> I watched The Late Late Show.
Hey, and there was
nobody else like her.
She had this sexy voice
and this awesome bod,
and this unbelievable
set of cones.
>> Cones?
>> You know, cones,
biditties, bazoongas.
>> Yeah, right.
>> And it was in this very
house that back in 1962.
Billie Blaine at the height
of her career snuffed herself.
>> You mean she --
>> Bought the farm,
bit the big one.
She ate a whole bottle
of barbi's
and went for a swim face down.
>> Aunt Sarah never told me
there was a suicide here.
>> Why do you think she
doesn't come around here?
She can't even sell this place.
>> Oh, you're not trying to
tell me this place is haunted?
>> I didn't say that.
>> Then what are you saying?
>> Nothing.
Want a brew?
>> BeeJay.
>> Do I look like the kind of
guy who believes in ghosts?
>> You look like you'd believe
in the Loch Ness Monster.
>> [Laughter] Loch Ness Monster,
I like that, that's funny.
Okay, okay, it's just
that some people, not me,
but some people have seen
and heard things around here.
>> What kind of things?
>> You know, the usual, weird
noises and things like that.
And sometimes like right
around dawn people say
that they've seen this beautiful
blonde running out of the house,
down the steps, onto the beach,
and she takes off her nightgown,
and she disappears
into the surf.
Hey, whoa, whoa,
watch out there.
>> It's nothing, it's nothing.
>> You're a little
nervous, aren't you?
>> Oh, me?
Oh, no, no, it's just -- it
took me by surprise, that's all.
>> Well, I got to get going.
[ Music ]
I'll stop back in a few days,
but if you need me before then
my number is on the frigerator.
>> Thanks.
>> Okay. Oh, yeah, and one more
thing, watch out for the ghost.
Oh, no.
[ Music ]
[ Knocking Sound ]
>> Hello?
Hello, is anybody there?
[ Music ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
Haaaa!
[ Music ]
Whoever is in there you'd
better give yourself up.
I have a gun, I won't
hesitate to shoot.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
I have had just about enough of
you for one night, Ms. Blaine.
I am going for a walk.
[ Music ]
>> People say that they've seen
this beautiful blonde running
out of the house, down
the steps, onto the beach,
and she takes off her
nightgown, and she disappears
into the surf, surf,
surf, surf, surf, surf.
[ Music ]
>> Hi, having a nice
evening ma'am [screaming].
Take it easy, I'm not
going to hurt you,
I'm just walking my dog.
See?
>> I'm sorry I yelled.
>> I'm Tom Farrell.
Say, why were you
crawling around out there?
Did you lose something?
>> No, I was following
some footprints.
>> Footprints?
You mean these?
>> No, no, no.
Those are mine.
These -- they were right there.
They led from the steps
at the back of my house
out to the water, and
I was following --
hi, I'm Angela Reid.
>> Nice to meet you.
What are you doing up
playing Indian scout?
>> I'm a writer.
>> No kidding?
So am I. I work for The Herald.
>> Oh, that's a really
good paper.
>> Yeah, I think so.
I'm on vacation, spending
a few weeks at the beach.
How about you?
>> Me? No, I'm working.
>> Oh, yeah?
Which paper?
>> Well, actually, it's a
magazine, Hollywood Beat.
>> Oh, sounds like fun.
>> Yeah, loads of laughs.
>> Say, if you're free some
night maybe we could go
for a drink, maybe dinner?
>> Yeah, I don't know,
I'm kind of busy.
>> Oh, come on, you can't
write around the clock.
What about it?
>> Okay, maybe.
>> Great. So how do I reach you?
>> Right up there.
>> You must have
some electric bill.
Hey, well, wait a minute,
isn't that the Billie
Blaine ghost house?
>> What is it with
everyone around here?
Do you all believe
in the Boogeyman?
>> I didn't mean
anything, it just happens
to be a well-known
landmark, that's all.
>> Yeah, that's what I love
about this town, some freaked
out starlet decides to kill
herself and everyone wants
to build a legend around it.
I think it's disgusting.
>> What did I say?
>> Nothing.
[ Music ]
>> Careful, you don't
want to do that again.
It's good meeting the
neighbors, isn't it, girl?
[ Music ]
>> There.
[ Music ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
[ Silence ]
[ Creaking Sound ]
[ Music ]
I didn't mean to
friten, to frighten you.
Please help me.
Billie Blaine.
BeeJay, I want to talk to you.
BeeJay, I said --
BeeJay?
>> Oh, man, now look what I
did, I gave her three nipples.
Hey, maybe she looks better
with three, what do you think?
>> I'd say you're indulging
in some wishful thinking.
Listen, BeeJay.
BeeJay, I have a serious
question to ask you,
and if such a thing is
possible I really would
like a serious answer, okay?
>> Okay, shoot?
>> Did you for any
reason go back
to the beach house last night?
>> No.
>> You're sure?
>> Sure I'm sure.
I don't forget things like that.
>> Then who wrote this?
>> Oh, wow, where
did you get this?
>> I found it on the table
next to my typewriter.
>> Oh, wow.
>> Boy when you said you were
a fan, you weren't kidding.
>> Hey, ever since I saw In the
Gilded Goddess I was hooked.
Here it is, the real thing.
When I was a kid back East I
traded my entire baseball card
collection for this.
See, the same.
>> Wow.
>> I told you, the
place is haunted.
[ Music ]
>> Why start smoking now?
>> Give me a break.
They say it's supposed
to calm you down.
>> You know it's
very bad for you.
>> Oh, so what?
>> So quit while you're ahead.
>> What do you -- is that
my conscience talking to me?
>> Guess again.
>> All right, all right.
Who said that?
Who is it?
Answer me.
No, who is it?
>> Come on, you know who it is.
>> No, I don't.
>> Yes, you do.
>> No, I don't.
>> Of course, you
do, silly, it's me.
>> Oh, no, no, no.
This is not happening to me.
I must be dreaming,
that's it, that's it.
I am dreaming, I'm dreaming.
>> Angela, this isn't a dream.
>> Yes, it is.
>> No, it isn't.
>> Okay, prove it.
>> All right, I'll prove it,
but you've got to promise me
that you won't get scared.
>> Okay, okay, I promise.
>> Okay, here goes nothing.
Hi.
[ Screaming ]
You promised you
wouldn't get scared.
>> Okay, so I lied.
>> I'm not going to hurt you.
>> Well, what do you want?
>> I've been trying
to contact you,
didn't you get my
message last night?
>> Yes, I did.
>> Sometimes I get so
lonely, I could scream.
>> Please don't, I don't think
I could handle that again.
>> Gosh, no, I wouldn't do that,
after all I need your help.
>> How can I help you?
>> My spirit is stuck
here on earth
until I discover how I died.
Probable suicide
just doesn't cut it.
Actually, I was hoping they'd
send someone different,
you know?
Tall, dark, handsome.
But since you're a relative
and all I guess you're it.
>> Is that supposed
to be good news?
[ Knocking ]
>> Someone's coming.
>> Wait, wait, don't go.
[ Knocking ]
>> Hi, what's going on?
>> Nothing, nothing,
why do you ask?
>> No reason.
Hey, are you okay?
You look like you've
just seen a ghost.
>> Funny you should say that.
>> Mind if I come in?
You sure I'm not
interrupting anything?
>> Do you believe
in life after death?
>> I don't know, yeah,
yeah, I guess so.
>> Then you think it's possible
that a person's spirit could
come back and visit the living?
>> [Laughter] Well, I
don't know about that.
Those things don't
happen every day.
>> That's what you think.
>> I beg your pardon?
>> What would you
do if the ghost
of a say a famous
movie star appeared
in front of you right now?
>> Well, I'd ask her about
her life, her career,
and then I'd get
her phone number.
>> Tom, I'm serious.
>> It would make one hell
of an article, though.
>> Yeah, I hadn't
thought of that.
>> Yeah, sure, imagine
what it would be
like to interview a ghost, say,
the ghost of Napoleon,
Einstein or Hitler?
Well maybe not Hitler.
But you get my drift?
>> I sure do.
>> But, of course, we
can't talk to the dead.
>> No, of course not.
>> It'd be nice if we
could, but we can't.
>> But we can't.
Listen, it was so nice
of you to stop by.
We really should do
this again sometime.
>> Oh, yeah.
Hey, you want to go for a drink?
>> Oh, I'd love to.
I'm really busy right now.
>> I didn't mean
now, I meant later?
>> Later, sure, I'd
love it, that's great.
Bye.
Billie? Billie?
>> That girl is nuts,
cute but nuts.
[ Music ]
>> Morning you.
>> Hello, yourself.
>> It's you.
>> Of course silly.
Who'd you expect?
>> It's good to see you.
>> It's good to see
you, too, Angela.
>> Billie, there was something
I wanted to talk to you about.
>> Really?
What?
>> Well, it can wait until
you're finished in here.
>> Okay.
[ Music ]
>> Boo!
>> Oh, Billie, don't
sneak up on me like that.
>> I didn't mean to sneak.
I faded in.
>> Well, don't fade
in behind me, okay?
>> Sorry. So what did you
want to talk to me about?
>> You said you wanted me
to help you free
your spirit, right?
>> Right.
>> And the way to
do that is to find
out what happened
to you that night.
>> Right.
>> Well, I'm going to
need some background.
Billie, I would like
to interview you
for Hollywood Beat.
>> Really?
What's Hollywood Beat?
>> It's kind of a fan magazine.
>> Oh, they used to write
about me all the time.
Hey, this isn't some
kind of a joke, is it?
>> Huh-uh, cross my heart
and hope to -- honest.
>> Oh, this is going to be just
crazy, like the good old days.
When do we get started?
I was in this hotel
on the Riviera,
locked out on the balcony with
nothing on but my goodwill.
I climbed onto the
balcony next door and ran
into this simply creamy
banker, smack in the middle
of the Wall Street Journal.
Boy, was he ever surprised.
He never even got
to finish his paper.
Did you get all that?
>> Uh-huh.
>> Oh, will you look at him?
>> Billie, what is
it with you and men?
>> I just love them, that's all.
Short ones, tall ones,
thin ones, fat ones.
>> Didn't you ever
have any friends?
You know, female friends?
>> Not really.
You're my first one, ever.
Gosh, Angie, I don't know
what I would have done
if you hadn't come along.
Life sure doesn't prepare
you for being dead.
>> That almost sounded profound.
>> So what about you?
Who was that guy
who was here before?
>> You mean Tom?
He's just someone I met.
>> So do you like him?
>> I don't know, maybe.
>> Angie, either
you do or you don't.
>> So what if I do?
>> Well, you might
show it a little.
>> Just because I like a
guy doesn't mean I have
to throw myself at him.
>> Who said anything about
throwing yourself at him?
If you play it right
he'll jump you.
>> Billie, it's almost 1990,
women are different today.
>> Hey, you want
to go for a walk?
>> Billie, how did
you -- you know?
>> What?
>> Die. I know, it
wasn't suicide, was it?
Hey, I didn't mean to upset
you, I just wanted to know.
>> I wish I could tell you.
>> Well if you don't
want to talk about it,
believe me, I'll understand.
>> No, it's not that, you
see, I've tried and tried
to remember what happened
that night, it just --
it just keeps coming up blank.
>> You don't remember anything?
>> Everything before is
crystal clear, then kafluey.
>> Kafluey?
>> Uh-huh.
I'm dead, and I don't
even know how or why.
All I know is I'm stuck
here and I can't leave.
>> Billie, honey,
it's not so bad.
>> That's easy for you to say.
>> Hey, you've still
got your looks.
Everyone wonders what's
going to happen to them
after they're gone
but you already know.
Sure, it's not a picnic, but at
least it's better than nothing.
Billie?
Billie?
[ Music ]
Billie, there you are.
I was wondering where
you'd gone.
Come on over here, take a look
at what I've written so far?
[ Music ]
Billie? Billie, come back!
No, don't!
[ Music ]
>> Oops, sorry.
>> Excuse me.
>> Billie Blaine,
In Her Own Words.
What happened to
Chuck Aaron's story?
>> I got a little sidetracked.
>> Wow, that's completely
irresponsible.
I mean I'm putting this
new issue to press tonight.
Angela, how could
you do this to me?
>> Just put Billie Blaine
in place of Rambo Junior.
She's a lot more
interesting, believe me.
>> She has been dead
for more than 25 years.
>> Well, I know that.
I ran across an old
diary of hers
in the house I'm staying at.
>> An old diary?
You know, this whole
thing is starting to sound
like something out
of a Nancy Drew.
>> Are you feeling all right?
>> Does it sound like it?
I'll be back in a minute.
>> So what does he
think of our story?
>> What are you doing here?
>> I wanted to come along.
I haven't been anywhere
since 1962.
>> You haven't?
>> No, every time I tried
to leave the house it felt
like someone nailed my shoes
to the floor, but when I'm
with you it's different.
I just got in the
car and came along.
>> That's nice Billie
but you can't stay.
Somebody is going to see you.
>> Oh, no.
No one can see me
unless I want them to.
Right now you're the
only one who can.
>> Oh, well, just
keep it that way
and don't say anything
either, okay?
>> Okay.
>> Angela, are you
talking to yourself?
>> No, I was talking to
my imaginary playmate.
Baxter, say hello?
>> Nice to see you pal.
You are putting on a
little weight, aren't you?
>> How rude.
Why, I never.
>> So what about the piece?
>> Angela, sweetheart,
this Blaine dame is old
news, she's history.
>> I am not.
>> She's more than history,
she's a Hollywood legend.
>> Yes.
>> Think about it, Baxter,
you could be the first
to publish her long,
lost autobiography.
>> Which you just happened to
find after all of these years?
Oh, come on, there's something
fishy about this whole thing.
Besides nobody is interested
in reading crap like that.
>> Crap?
>> No.
>> Angela, you can't let
him treat you like that.
>> Baxter, you can't
treat me like that.
>> What?
>> You can take Hollywood
Beat and stick it.
>> That's telling him.
>> If you're not interested
in the article there are many
other magazines who will be.
>> So put that in your
pipe and smoke it, Buster.
>> Oh, come on, you
wouldn't do that to me?
>> Try me.
>> Yeah, try us.
>> All right, all right,
sit down, will you, please?
We can talk about this.
>> So. You'll do it as a series?
>> Maybe.
>> All right.
>> At double the normal rate.
>> Hey, you're pretty sharp.
>> Double, I don't
have money like that.
>> No problem.
>> All right, all
right, all right, okay.
Boy, you drive a hard bargain.
>> Here you go, this should
fit right in the spot you saved
for the Chuck Aaron piece.
See you next issue.
>> Oh, my God.
>> That'll teach you not to
talk that way about a lady.
>> Just get away, just
get away, I'm leaving.
Look at this?
>> It becomes you.
[ Laughter ]
[ Music ]
>> Angela look!
>> Billie.
>> The new issue of
Hollywood Beat is here.
>> Well let me see.
Whoa, a cover story, Baxter.
Billie Blaine in her own
words, by Angela Reid.
>> With an uncredited
assist from me.
>> Pretty good for
a ghost writer.
>> Yeah. Can I read
it first, please?
>> Sure, go ahead.
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello?
>> Ms. Reid?
>> Yes?
>> I was told I could
reach you there.
I just finished your
article in Hollywood Beat.
>> And what about it?
>> I'm very interested
in purchasing the
diary of Billie Blaine.
>> I'm sorry but
it's not for sale.
Who is this?
>> Ms. Reid, I'm sure you know
perfectly well who this is,
and I'm also sure that you
know that I'd be willing
to pay handsomely for it.
>> This is Murray over
at Tinsel Town, isn't it?
>> My offer is 25,000 for
you to drop your story
and hand over the diary.
>> Look, I don't know
what magazine you're with,
but in any case my answer is no.
>> Well, I'm sorry you don't
want to cooperate, Ms. Reid.
Nevertheless, I am
going to get that diary.
It just would have been so
much simpler for you this way.
Well, it looks like
we're going to have
to do things the
old-fashioned way.
>> Who was that on the phone?
>> I don't know, probably
just a crank call.
Hey, I've got an idea, why don't
we go out to a club tonight?
>> Do you mean it?
>> Sure. The first
installment is already out,
the second one isn't due
for a couple of weeks,
we owe ourselves a break.
>> That would be just swell.
I wonder what I should wear?
Well, what do you think?
>> I think it would be
great if we were going
to the Academy Awards.
>> Is it really too much?
>> Or too little, depending
on how you look at it.
>> Well, I really don't know
what's in fashion these days.
>> Don't worry about it, Billie,
besides no one can see you.
Let's just go out there
and have a great time.
>> I can't if I look yucky.
>> Trust me you don't
look yucky.
[ Music ]
>> Hey Marco, she's
talking to herself.
>> So what you talk to yourself.
>> No, I don't.
>> Yes, you do.
>> I do not.
>> Hey, she's taking off.
Let's get the diary.
>> I don't talk to myself.
>> Just shut up, all right?
[ Music ]
>> Well I'll be a
monkey's uncle.
I've never seen anything
like this.
[ Music ]
Oh, would you look at those two.
Aren't they just wild?
>> Aren't you forgetting
you're a ghost?
>> Party pooper.
Can we at least get a drink?
>> What? You can't drink.
>> Says who?
I'm over 21.
In fact I'm over 51.
>> All right, if you
insist, but I'll order.
>> Okay.
>> What'll it be?
>> A flying pinkie-dinky
straight up.
>> A flying pinkie-dinky
straight up.
>> Make it two.
>> Make it two, please?
>> Okay.
>> What's in those, anyway?
>> Never mind, it's yummy.
>> That'll be $7.
>> Seven bucks for two drinks?
Holy cow.
>> Welcome to the '80s.
>> Huh?
>> Oh, nothing.
[ Music ]
>> Here's mud in your eye.
[ Music ]
Come on, Angie?
Down the hatch.
You don't want it?
>> Honey, it's all yours.
>> If you insist.
Hey, what's the big idea?
>> Do you want to
cause a panic in here?
Use a straw.
>> Oh alright.
[ Music ]
>> Try not to drink
so fast, will you?
>> Oh, don't be such a killjoy.
I can hold my liquor
better than anyone.
>> Hey, Ms. Reid?
>> Oh, no.
>> I didn't expect to see you.
What's going on?
>> Oh, nothing.
I'm just hanging
out here by myself.
>> Yeah?
>> Just call me a
two-fisted drinker.
>> Cool. You mind if I sit down?
I've been thinking about that
letter you got, you know,
the one from Billie Blaine?
I think she was trying
to make contact with you.
>> Oh, yeah?
>> Oh, no doubt about
it, but I got this idea.
You see what if you were
to hook-up your typewriter
to a Ouija Board, then
you could ask her things
and the Ouija Board could
type out the answers?
>> How would you hook
the two together?
>> I don't know, I haven't
figured that part out yet.
Maybe if you, well, if you
hooked it up to a lightning rod
and held the séance
during the storm.
Nah, nah, that would never work,
it never rains in California.
So how do you like this place?
>> Would you just
excuse me for a minute?
I have to go powder my nose.
[ Music ]
>> Nice buns.
[ Music ]
>> Not there.
Not there either.
[ Music ]
>> Hey, did you check
this out already or what?
>> No, you're supposed
to look in the closets.
>> Hey, I didn't
know it was a closet.
>> I don't know,
open it and see.
>> Oh, Mr. Woopies.
I'll Mr. Woopies you.
[ Music ]
>> Billie?
Billie?
>> My name is Billie.
>> Sorry, I'm looking for
a different named Billie.
>> What's the matter,
wrong color?
>> No, wrong sex.
>> Ooh, baby, that
shit turns me on.
[ Music ]
>> Who does she think she is?
[ Music ]
>> Who the hell is that?
[ Music ]
>> Looks like a frigging
movie star.
[ Music ]
>> Check out the
blonde in the dress?
>> Yeah.
I'd sure like to
go home with that.
>> Me, too.
>> Excuse me.
Do you see that girl over there?
>> Oh, I sure do.
>> What about you,
do you see her, too?
>> There's nothing
wrong with my eyes.
[ Music ]
>> Is she a friend of yours?
>> Not for long.
[ Music ]
>> She's not doing what
I think she's doing.
Is she?
>> Let me through please.
Let me through.
[ Music ]
>> Get over here.
That chick is taking
her clothes off
and this is not a strip joint.
Get up there and stop her
before she shuts us down.
[ Music ]
>> Oh boy.
>> Please don't take it off.
>> Oh jeez.
>> Billie whatever you
do, don't take it off.
>> Oh, shoot.
[ Background Conversations ]
[ Music ]
>> What were you trying
to prove out there?
Are you crazy?
>> They loved me.
>> Of course, they loved
you, they loved your cones.
Hurry up and get dressed.
>> I am dressed.
>> Right, let's get out of here.
>> Just a minute.
>> Hey, what's the big
idea screwing up our act?
>> [Laughter] You
call that an act?
>> Look, my friend here
has had a little too much
to drink, you know how that is?
Let's just forget
the whole thing.
>> No, you're not
getting off that easy.
>> Yeah.
>> Don't you push my
great-niece like that.
>> Oh, yeah?
Why don't you stop me?
>> Ooh. Hey.
>> Hey, watch your
aim, you clumsy ox.
>> I'll show you who's clumsy.
[ Music ]
>> Excuse me, excuse me.
>> Somebody may have
recognized you.
>> Don't be silly no one
in a million years would
think that it's really me.
>> Hey, you're Billie Blaine.
>> I think your million
years are up.
>> Wait a minute, wait a minute.
[ Music ]
>> Oh jeez, that was close.
>> Oh, I guess those drinks
went right to my head.
>> Yeah, well, it just
goes to show you ghosts
and alcohol don't mix.
Now go make yourself
invisible so you don't get us
into any more trouble, okay?
>> Okay.
>> I still see you.
>> Of course you do.
>> Well how do I
know no one else can?
>> Ask someone.
>> Excuse me, sir?
>> Uh-huh.
>> Can you see my
friend over there?
[ Music ]
>> Okay, okay.
>> Oh, would you look at that.
>> Billie come back here.
>> Isn't it just the dreamiest
thing you've ever seen?
>> Take it easy Billie,
it's just a car.
>> Just a car?
And I suppose the Taj
Mahal is just a building?
Angela, this is a chariot.
I used to have one just like it.
It's very nice, but we
have to go home now.
>> Billie, what are you doing?
Would you get out of that car,
what if the owner comes back?
>> You like old cars, huh?
>> Hi.
>> Hi.
>> Is this your car?
>> Uh-huh, she's a
beauty, isn't she?
You don't see many
of them around.
>> Ask him to take
us for a spin.
>> No!
No, I haven't seen any
in such great condition.
>> Well thanks.
So what are you doing tonight?
>> Oh, nothing much,
I'm just out and about.
>> Out and about, huh?
>> So how is your dog?
>> Oh, pretty good,
you want a bite?
>> No, I meant your other dog?
>> Oh, her.
She's fine, she decided to stay
home tonight and do her nails.
Women.
>> Oh, I see.
>> Here they are.
>> Hey, you left your
keys in the ignition.
>> I did? No, I didn't.
I guess I did.
I could have sworn -- hey, I'm
lucky somebody didn't steal it.
>> Don't speak too soon.
[ Car Starting ]
>> What the hell?
>> Hey it starts
great, doesn't it?
>> Yes, thanks, but how
in the heck did that --
>> I'm going for a drive.
>> Want to go for a drive?
>> I'll drive.
>> I wanted to drive.
>> You coming or not?
>> Yeah sure.
>> There just hop in the back.
>> Here we go.
[ Music ]
>> Hey, you nearly
hit those guys.
>> I missed them by a mile.
>> I did? I'll have to drive
a lot more carefully, won't I?
>> Hey, you're going
a little fast.
Don't you think you
should slow down?
>> I'm trying.
>> I hate backseat drivers.
>> So where we going anyway?
>> That's a good question.
>> It looks like we're
headed towards Santa Barbara.
>> We are?
>> Yes, we are.
>> Perhaps we should turn
the car around and go back.
>> Oh, okay.
>> Tom I'm sorry, I
just lost control.
Tom! Billie, take the wheel.
Tom, Tom, do you think
he has a concussion?
>> No, he probably just fainted.
He was such a nervous passenger.
>> With the way you drive I'm
surprised he didn't have a
heart attack.
Tom?
[ Music ]
>> Hey, did you see that?
>> Must be some kind
of a college prank.
>> Let's get them, huh?
Come on.
>> Wait a minute,
get the coffee off --
>> Reverse first, then forward.
What the hell did they
teach you at the academy?
>> I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
>> Okay, just take it nice
and easy, nice and easy.
>> I said easy.
>> He's not waking up.
>> Good.
>> What do mean good?
>> I don't think he'd be too
thrilled by what's behind us.
>> The light, the light.
>> [Sirens] Oh, great,
just great.
Let me drive.
>> No, I got us into this
mess, I'll get us out of it.
Let's see what this
baby can really do.
>> Now that is what I call some
seriously reckless driving.
>> They're going to lock me
up and throw away the key.
>> They'll have to
catch us first.
>> Look out.
>> This is not my idea of fun.
>> Holy Toledo, these
guys are fast.
This calls for drastic
measures, steer for me.
>> What the hell is
going on out there?
>> I don't know.
[ Music & Sirens ]
[ Screaming ]
[ Music ]
>> What happened?
Where are the cops?
>> Oh, they had a
little accident.
>> Bob.
>> Yeah?
>> You mashed my donut.
>> How's he doing?
>> Still out like a light.
>> Oh well, I'll take
us somewhere quiet
where you can revive him.
[ Music ]
>> Billie, what are
we stopping here for?
This looks like a make out spot.
I'm not going to give
him mouth-to-mouth.
>> What better way
to wake a guy up?
>> Billie!
>> Shush, he's coming to.
I'll see you later.
>> Don't you dare.
Billie. Billie.
>> The name is Tom.
Where are we?
Great view.
>> Yes, it is, isn't it?
>> So the last thing I remember
is you were driving real fast.
>> I was driving you home,
but you fell asleep so I --
>> So you decided to take me up
here and take advantage of me?
>> No, no, that wasn't
the idea, at all.
>> Oh, no?
Then what'd you have in mind?
>> Like you said,
it's a great view.
[ Music ]
This is so unexpected.
>> I know.
Especially after the way you
treated me the other day.
>> Tom, I am so sorry about
that, I can explain everything.
>> Ah, there's no need to.
>> Yes, there is.
You seem like a nice guy and you
really should know the truth.
>> Well, thanks.
>> It's her, it's Billie Blaine.
>> Who is?
>> The ghost, the one
that's in my house,
the one that's been
driving your car.
>> What are you talking about?
>> Okay, I know this is hard
to believe, but it's true,
I've seen her, I've
talked to her.
I'm writing her biography.
>> Your writing her biography?
>> Well, actually, she's
writing it with me,
but we're saying it came
from an old diary of hers
because we don't want
everyone to know she's dead.
Well, actually, everyone
knows she's dead
but we don't want everyone
to think she can write
still, you understand?
>> Yeah.
>> What's wrong?
>> Oh, nothing.
Nothing, at all.
>> Tom, you don't think
I'm making this up, do you?
>> Look I don't know
what to think.
You're a very pretty
girl and a good kisser,
but if you think you're seeing
ghosts you need something other
than a boyfriend.
>> But, Tom, I swear.
>> And if you're making this
up just to break the mood,
it'd be a lot simpler just to
tell me you had a headache.
>> Oh.
Where are we going?
>> Home, yours.
>> Hey, wait, my car.
Oh, I left it at the club.
Billie?
>> I swear to God, Angela, I
had nothing to do with this.
>> Who did this?
>> I don't know, maybe burglars?
>> Oh, I'm too tired to
worry about this now.
I'll deal with the house, my
car, everything in the morning.
And, as for you, you
are in big trouble.
If we weren't writing this
story together I swear I'd --
good night.
[ Music ]
>> Dear Tom, please forgive
the way I acted last night.
Come over for a drink
around seven,
and I'll make it up to you.
Love, Angela.
>> I can't trust you guys
to do the simplest thing.
>> Boss, we pulled
the place apart.
>> Yeah, there was no
sign of it anywhere.
>> You've got to believe us.
>> All right, all
right, I believe you.
Maybe it is somewhere else.
>> Yeah, then how are
we going to find it?
>> I guess we'll just have
to persuade her, won't we?
[ Music ]
[ Knocking ]
[ Music ]
>> Hi.
>> Hi.
>> These are for you.
>> Oh, thanks.
Come on in.
It's really sweet of you.
>> Well, I figured as long
as you made the first
gesture, well.
>> What?
>> Well when I got
your note inviting me
over here tonight I thought
it was the least I could do.
>> What? I didn't.
Billie.
>> Tom, Tom Farrell.
>> Yeah, right.
Come, won't you sit down?
Can I get you something
to drink?
>> Sure.
>> What would you like?
>> Oh, it doesn't matter.
Whatever you're having is fine.
>> All I really want is you.
>> I beg your pardon?
>> Will a coke do?
>> Yeah.
>> If she wasn't already dead.
>> Fine.
>> Turn down the lights
and put on some soft music.
>> Okay.
[ Music ]
>> Tom?
>> Over here, babe.
>> Why did you turn
off the lights?
>> Well, you didn't tell
me where the dimmer was.
Is the music okay?
>> Sure.
>> Well, I have to admit
I was pretty surprised
when you asked me
over here tonight.
>> Me, too.
>> Huh?
>> That's me, unpredictable.
>> Well, I like that.
Most of the women I meet,
especially writers,
are so boring.
>> Then why don't you
just shut-up and kiss me?
>> All right, I will.
What's the matter?
>> Nothing, nothing.
Wait right here.
I'll be right back.
>> I'm just going to slip into
something more comfortable.
>> In the kitchen?
Kinky.
>> Billie?
Billie, you come
here this instant.
Where do you get off
meddling in my affairs?
>> If I didn't meddle you
wouldn't have any affairs.
>> That is none of
your business.
I was doing just
fine without you.
>> Not from where
I was watching.
Things haven't changed
that much since my day,
the way you were going
you'll wind-up an old maid.
>> Oh, great, great, just what
I need, a sex education course
from some out-of-date bimbo.
>> Who are you calling
out-of-date?
>> You, you put women's
right back in the dark ages.
>> Well, we'll see how good you
do without my help, Ms. 1980s.
Because this is the
last you'll see of me.
>> Fine.
Hi, I'm back.
>> Who were you talking
to in there?
You're not going to go and
turn schizo on me, are you?
>> Me? No, no, no I was
talking to my Aunt Sarah.
>> Your Aunt Sarah?
>> On the phone.
You know how rough
dates can be sometimes.
Can I get you something
else to drink?
>> No, thanks.
Now that's more like it.
You don't still think
you're being haunted
by Billie Blaine, do you?
>> Not anymore.
We're the only ones here.
[ Music ]
[ Belching ]
[ Music ]
>> It looks like our subject
adjourning to the boudoir
to do a little horizontal
entertainment.
>> That means this is more
than a casual acquaintance.
Should I call the boss or what?
>> Hey, be my guest.
[ Music ]
>> Good morning.
>> Good morning.
>> You want me to make
us some breakfast?
>> Hooker.
>> What was that again?
>> Hooker.
>> That's what I
thought you said.
>> Make a sound meatball
and you're dead.
>> Tom?
Tom?
[ Phone Ringing ]
Hello.
>> We have your friend,
Ms. Reid.
>> What friend?
>> The man you spent
last night with.
I'm willing to trade his
life for the diary you have.
>> Wait a minute, who is this?
>> The time for games
is long past, Ms. Reid.
I'll give you one
hour to decide,
and I wouldn't call the
authorities if I were you.
At the first sign of police
your friend is a dead man.
>> My God.
Tom.
>> Where is she?
>> Where's who?
>> Billie Blaine.
>> She's not here.
>> Oh, then you don't
deny that she was here,
just like you don't deny
that I saw you the other
night with her at Scream.
>> Yes, yes, it was her.
>> Then where is she?
>> Back in ghost land.
How would I know?
Look, I can't worry about her
now, Tom has been kidnapped.
>> Oh, no.
Who's Tom?
>> Think Angela, think.
They said they'd kill Tom if
I didn't give them the diary.
>> So why don't you just
give them the diary?
>> Because I don't have
it, it doesn't even exist.
Billie was telling me her
life story, I was writing it.
We had to explain
where it was coming
from so we made-up the diary.
Whoever kidnapped Tom must think
that Billie had written
something incriminating
about him.
It's got to be someone
she knows.
BeeJay, you've got to
help me call her back.
>> Me?
>> Yeah, she's kind of mad at
me right now, and since you're
such a big fan if you called
her maybe she'd come back.
>> Well, all right, but
I just feel really kind
of silly doing this.
Ah, Billie, Billie Blaine?
Yo, Billie, can I
get an autograph?
>> Certainly BeeJay,
anything you want.
>> Billie, I'm so
glad you're here.
>> I'm not speaking to you.
So, BeeJay, what would
you like me to sign?
>> Billie, I apologize for what
I said last night, I really do,
but you've got to help me.
Tom has been kidnapped.
>> Oh, no.
>> Who's Tom?
>> By who?
>> Well that's what I don't
know, it has to be someone
from your past, someone
who wouldn't want your
memoirs published.
>> Gosh, it could be a
hundred different guys.
>> And it has to be
someone who wasn't mentioned
in the first article,
does that help?
>> I don't know.
>> Were there married men?
>> No, but there was this
one guy I dated secretly.
I think he had mob connections,
so we never met in public,
it was always here or
some secluded place.
>> Good, good.
Do you remember his name?
>> Vinnie, Vinnie Carbone.
>> Vincent Carbone,
the politician?
He's running for the Senate.
>> No kidding?
I always knew he was ambitious.
Wait a minute, it
couldn't be Vinnie.
>> Why not?
>> We were going to get married.
We were going to announce it
to the public and everything.
In fact, he proposed to
me the night I drowned.
>> You never mentioned
that before.
>> I just remembered.
Wonder why?
>> Carbone, why does
that name sound familiar?
Why does that name
sound so familiar?
>> You probably heard
it on the news.
>> No, no, no, no.
>> What's this?
>> It's from a 1962 paper, its
Billie Blaine's death notice.
>> That's a pretty ghoulish
thing to carry around, isn't it?
>> I think it's sweet.
>> Oh, here it is,
right in the back here.
Carbone appointed
to Mayor's staff.
Vincent Carbone attended
ceremonies at City Hall,
accompanied by his
wife, Dorothy.
>> His wife?
>> What? You mean he
was already married?
>> Jesus, Billie, do you
know what this means?
>> Yeah, I sure do.
It means he was a no
good two timing bum.
>> He's a lot worse than that.
Don't you see, he couldn't marry
you, he already had a wife?
His political career
was just starting out.
He didn't come here
that night to propose.
>> You mean he --
>> He must have slipped an
overdose of barbiturates
into your drink, and then
he let the tide do the rest.
>> Oh, shit.
>> I guess I never did have
too much luck with men.
Five husbands, five divorces,
and the last guy decides
to kill me before
we even said I do.
>> Billie, honey, I know
this isn't easy for you,
but this guy murdered
once to prevent a scandal
and he'll do it again.
Even if I did have
the diary to give
to him he'd never let
Tom or me go free.
Please, you've got to help us.
>> What do you want me to do?
>> We've got to shift the
odds over to our side.
>> Count me in.
>> BeeJay, you mean it?
>> Sure thing let's
nail this butthole.
>> Yeah.
[ Music ]
>> She's clean.
>> Right this way.
[ Music ]
>> Billie?
Billie, are you still here?
>> I'm right here.
>> Oh, good.
Listen, I know how hard
it's going to be for you
to control your temper when you
see him, but please just try
to remember Tom's
life is at stake here.
>> Don't you worry, Angie.
>> Shush.
>> Well, well, Ms. Reid, how
nice to meet you face-to-face.
>> I'm sorry I can't
say the same thing.
>> Oh, come on now, you
can't allow yourself
to take these things personally.
May I pour you a drink?
>> No, thank you.
>> No? Well, I hope you
don't mind if I have one?
>> To think I used to
be in love with him.
>> So, Ms. Reid, I trust you
brought the diary with you?
>> No, I didn't.
>> Why not?
>> Because, Mr. Carbone,
once you have it what's
to stop you from
killing us both?
>> You must think I'm quite a
desperate character, don't you?
>> You have an affair
with a movie star,
then fake her suicide to protect
your career, now you're trying
to prevent your past from being
dredged up before the election.
I'd say you're living slime.
>> Now, look, Ms.
Reid, I'm warning you.
>> Please, please don't take
these things personally.
>> Your quite right.
After all, this is
strictly business, isn't it?
You know, that's
something Billie would never
have understood.
>> Oh, spare me.
>> I wanted to tell
her I was married,
that it would never
work out between us,
but the girl was crazy about me.
>> Don't flatter yourself.
>> She demanded more
and more of my time.
She never got enough of me.
>> I think I'm going
to throw up.
>> Billie?
>> Oh, yes, Billie, yeah.
You know, I really
think I did her a favor
when I slipped her those pills.
That girl never could
have lived without me.
>> Why you dirty --
>> Oh, what a nice
plant you have here.
>> Ms. Reid, how am I
going to get that diary?
>> The exchange will be made
tonight at a place of my choice.
I'll phone you later
with the address.
In the meantime, why
don't you round-up, say,
500,000 in small bills
and put it in a briefcase?
>> A half a million dollars?
>> Oh, just a little
get-away fund to keep us
at a safe distance
from your constituents.
>> Ms. Reid, you're pressing
your luck a little too far.
You might not make
it out of this house.
>> If I don't a lot of people
will be reading Billie Blaine's
memories of you by
tomorrow morning.
Can you afford that,
Mr. Carbone?
>> That's an awful lot of
money to raise on short notice.
>> I have every faith
in your ability
to raise a dishonest dollar.
Catch. I'll be in touch.
[ Music ]
>> Ow!
>> Talk to you later Vinnie.
>> Billie, you didn't?
>> I sure did, but he
ain't seen nothing yet.
>> Tony! Marco!
Get in here.
>> Okay, now to implement
phase two.
[ Music ]
>> Checked the place out, Boss,
the girl is already inside.
She came alone.
>> Are you sure about that?
No police?
>> I swear there ain't
no one for miles.
>> Tony, stay here, and
make sure he stays healthy
for the moment.
Marco, wait two minutes,
then come in through the back
and give this girl
a warm reception,
but make sure I have
the diary first.
[ Music ]
>> One please.
[ Laughter ]
[ Music ]
>> What are you all
dressed up for?
>> What do you mean?
Oh, this? Very funny.
Where's the diary?
>> Where's Tom?
>> He's outside and
he's going to stay there
until I get what I came for.
>> No, no that's not
what we agreed on.
>> You've got me,
my men have him.
Let's have it?
>> Let me see the money, first.
Okay, let's go.
>> Where?
>> On a little tour.
I hid the diary in
one of the exhibits.
>> One more minute.
[ Laughter ]
>> Look, I'll buy you a pizza
if you get off the phone.
>> Huh?
[ Music ]
>> He's all yours,
you know what I mean?
I got a date with a lady.
[ Music ]
[ Belching ]
[ Music ]
>> How much further is this?
>> Aren't you enjoying this?
I thought you used
to like movie stars?
[ Music ]
>> Yeah?
>> Hey, buddy, can
I bum a cigarette?
>> Hey get lost punk.
>> Come on, man, be a pal.
>> Beat it, douche bag.
>> Hey, that's no way to
treat a fellow human being.
Maybe the guy will be a
little more understanding
on the other side.
>> Hey douchie get the
hell away from there.
>> Oops, sorry, didn't
know you were all tied up.
>> All right, that's it.
When I get through with you
you'll wish you never were born.
>> Your mother uses steroids.
>> Hey eat this.
>> That's for not letting
me wear my pants, Guido.
>> Hey, don't shoot,
don't shoot.
>> I'm BeeJay.
>> I'm Tom.
>> Tom, I'm Angela's friend.
>> Yeah?
>> Is his name really Guido?
>> It's just a pet name.
Where is Angela?
>> She's inside with
that guy, Carbone.
>> Well, they ain't alone.
One of his goons just went
inside there after them.
>> Holy shit, I'd
better call the police.
>> Look, there's a phone in
the backseat, I'm going inside.
[ Music ]
>> What the heck?
[ Music ]
>> Is this your idea of a joke?
[ Music ]
>> You didn't think it would
be that easy, did you Vinnie?
>> Huh?
>> I'm not over there.
I'm right here.
What's the matter, Vinnie?
Aren't you glad to see me?
>> This can't be.
Your suppose to be --
Your dead.
>> That's right, would
you like to join me?
>> Stay back.
>> You can't hurt me,
Vinnie, not anymore,
you hurt me enough already.
[ Gunshots ]
[ Music ]
[ Gunshots ]
[ Music ]
You can run, but you can't hide.
>> Hey, have you seen --
no, I guess you haven't.
>> Look Rip Torn.
Hey, Boss.
Get back here.
Hey what are you doing?
>> Vinnie.
>> I can't take this.
>> Frankly, Vinnie,
I don't give a damn.
[ Music ]
>> Ooh, Vinnie.
Vinnie
[ Music ]
Good evening, Vinnie.
[ Music ]
Hi, Vinnie.
[ Music ]
I'm coming for you, Vinnie.
>> Oh, no.
>> We want you, Vinnie.
>> No, no, no.
>> Come back.
>> Hold it right there.
That's good.
It's time to say
goodnight Cinderella.
>> Tom?
[ Music ]
>> Tom look out!
Oh my God.
>> Tom, are you all right?
>> Yeah, yeah, I'm
okay, but let's get
out of here before
Bambam comes to.
>> Okay.
>> Come on.
>> [Sirens] What
happened in there?
What's going on?
>> I don't know, I
lost track of them.
>> You.
Your dead meat pal.
>> Hold it, pal.
Up against the wall
and spread them.
Come on.
>> Angela, what's going on here?
>> Baxter, so glad
you could make it.
>> You'd better have a very good
reason for getting me out here
in the middle of the night.
Now what are all these
other reporters doing here?
>> Sorry, Baxter, but this was
too big to be an exclusive.
>> What was too --
>> Help me.
Help me somebody.
Please help me she's after me.
>> Hey, buddy, what's
the problem?
>> She's after me,
don't you see?
>> Wait a minute, aren't
you Vincent Carbone?
>> Yes, yes, I am.
>> Mr. Carbone, a moment please?
>> You have to protect
me from her.
>> Protect you from who?
>> From her.
Don't you see, it's
Billie Blaine.
What's the matter, don't
you go to the movies?
>> They can't see me,
Vinnie, only you can.
>> What do you mean
they can't see you?
Of course, they can see you.
You can see her, can't you?
She's standing right over there
in a low-cut evening gown.
>> They can't protect
you from me, Vinnie,
not if they can't see me.
I can haunt you for
the rest of your days.
>> No, no please, I'll do
anything, just leave me alone.
Please, I'll do anything.
>> Maybe if you tell them
exactly what happened
that night?
>> No I couldn't do that,
my career would be ruined.
They'd throw me in jail,
maybe the gas chamber.
I couldn't do that.
>> Well, then I guess you
and I will be seeing
a lot of each other.
What are your plans
for the next 20 years?
>> You win.
I confess.
Did you hear that, everyone?
Billie Blaine didn't kill
herself, it was me back in 1962.
Yeah, I did it.
I gave her an overdose
and let her drown.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I confess.
[ Music ]
>> Angela, this is sensational,
I mean it's not every day
that you see a candidate
crack-up in front of the media.
Now you said that he
had kidnapped somebody?
>> Yes, he did.
Herb Baxter, meet Tom Farrell.
>> Hi.
>> Tom is a writer, too.
>> No kidding?
Listen, I wonder
could I interest you
in writing a piece for us?
I mean say impressions
of a kidnap victim?
>> Ah, I don't know.
>> Baxter.
>> No, no, no, I'll expect
a story from you, as well,
but I just thought
that, you know,
like we could put
them both together
and make a feature out of it.
>> Well, whatever,
you're going to have
to wait till we get
back from our vacation.
>> What vacation?
Where are you two going?
>> We'll send you a postcard.
>> Hey?
>> I used to write
in high school.
>> Isn't that nice.
>> I wonder what made
Carbone fall apart like that?
I've never seen anything
like it.
>> Oh, just forget about it,
let's talk about this vacation.
>> Sounds good to me.
>> Aren't you two
forgetting something?
>> Billie, I thought
you'd moved on.
>> Well, now that I
have a choice I figured
that I'd hang around
for a while.
Besides --
>> The money.
>> I thought you might
want it for your vacation.
Half a million dollars goes
a long way even in the '80s.
>> Thanks, Billie.
>> You mean there
really is a ghost.
>> That's what I've
been trying to tell you.
Tom, meet Billie.
>> There he goes again.
[ Music ]
>> Just put the other
one over here, please?
>> You had enough
waves yet, BeeJay?
>> No way, man, I
never get enough.
Guys, say hello to
Megan and Tabitha,
they're taking me
to a luau tonight.
Catch you later, man.
>> Later, BeeJay.
>> I guess that means we get
the whole evening to ourselves.
>> Not quite.
[ Music ]