Ghost Killers vs. Bloody Mary (2018) - full transcript

Catarina.

Catarina.

Catarina.

Renato! Open the door! Open it, dude!

Open the door!

Renato! Somebody help!

What's happening to you?

Got you all scared, didn't 1?
I was just kidding.

Fuck you, man!

I was just kidding, man.
Look, it's ketchup.

This gang is fascinated by the idea



that there are more things
in heaven and earth

than are dreamt of in our philosophy.

- Is anyone there?
- 1f you can hear me, scream!

What started just as goofing around
became serious business for this crew.

From this point on, I'm not
responsible for anyone's life.

I have a gift. They call me
the Brazilian chico Xavier.

I hope this is an arm.

Unfortunately, I can't simply buy a gun
and shoot ghosts in the face,

so I make nifty gadgets like this one!

A strong gust brought this down.
I don't think it was natural.

If you're a ghost,
we're coming to hunt you!

The power of friendship gave them
the courage to face the unknown,

and, together, they will prove
that ghosts do exist,

and need to be exterminated.



We are the ghoulbusters!

This week, we are visiting
a spooky coffee farm from last century,

on the hopes of busting some ghosts!

This is a hanging spirit.

They cry a lot,
and, since tears are wet...

- This was a slave farm, right?
- No, it was a coffee farm.

Did you hear that?

- It's coming from over there!
- My god. Oh, my god!

Whoa!

Do you see what I'm seeing?

My god!

Can the ghoulbusters bust the cursed soul
of the ghost of the coffee farm?

We are in a site
full of haunted haunting ghosts,

but I always have these
delicious cheese breads

for whenever the forces of evil attack.

It has that fresh farm taste.

- My god!
- Do you see what I'm seeing?

Good god!

Coward! Why are you
attacking this innocent old lady?

Someone who would probably
die in a few months anyway?

- 1'm going to get you!
- No!

No, he needs help!

He doesn't want help.
He will be exterminated!

Eat this, jackass!

- Hi there, uncle!
- Don't you "hi there" me!

How long will you
fool around with those bums?

Come on, uncle. They're my friends.

Friends? They're just swindlers!

You should get yourself a job.
A man's job!

- Sorry.
- Did I ever tell you

about the ox that fell on top of me?

- Yes, many times...
- Then shut up, I will tell it again.

So there I was, trying to get this ox,
since I worked with them.

And then the ox came
and fell on top of me!

How could I escape? Oxen are heavy!

So I balled up my screwdriver like this,

I pierced its hide
between its third and fifth ribs,

and made my way through him
by ripping out his guts.

I went through to the other side!

Nah, seeing blood makes me sick.

You can't see blood,
but you have the guts

to bring those clowns home?

- We're getting a TV deal.
- What channel?

- They haven't said yet.
- Probably your ass TV!

I'm here because I respect my clients.
It's a man's job!

I know. =...

I'm always managing things with care.

And tell your friends this:
I used to castrate cattle for a living.

You know what I will do to you all
if you don't pay the rent?

- I will let them know.
- You're on the list!

I will let them know!

Bunch of punks.

Dear Christ...

I don't want to lose my testicles.
I like them.

Easy there, dog! Easy...

Hey, guys.

My uncle just told me that if
we don't pay the rent right now,

he will kill you three
with a butcher knife.

Do you think I'd have shown
that crap to TV stations if I had money?

Looks like we will stay broke.

We're making zilch from monetization.
Our videos have fewer and fewer views.

- Our last one had...
- Twelve thousand views?

- Yeah.
- Knew it.

See this mannix chick? 1.5 million views.

All she does is play games.
We should try that.

We should make gameplay videos
of ghost games.

- Those probably don't exist.
- They probably do.

Pac-man! It has ghosts!

You really don't get what's going on.

We have to evolve with our viewers.
If they grew up, we should do the same.

Let's get sophisticated. Like this.

I call this baby
the precision exo-gauntlet.

I calibrated its aim myself.
I can hit anything at any range. Look.

Take it easy.

Yeah, clearly it is your making.

It also has a cool function.

If you press this button...

Check out our latest video.

Already about 20 hate memes from
legendary thanos in the comments.

- Let's see.
- Ihate this legendary thanos.

I bet he's some 40-year-old geezer
who still wears baseball caps

and lives off the web.
Must be such a loser.

But some of his comments make sense.
Like the one about our logo.

Our logo really sucks.
The ghost looks drunk.

That's why it's cool!

- I sketched up a new one.
- We're working here.

- Just take a look.
- It is serious.

What else are they saying?

That the best thing
in the video are Caroline's boobs.

- Gross!
- Kids will be kids.

We need to make money fast!
Selling that pilot was our only shot.

Soon we shall get a call

that will change our lives forever!

Yeah, right.

See? I told you so!

- The phone. Pick up the phone!
- Sorry.

Ghoulbusters speaking.

Right. I see.

- Who was it?
- Aren't you psychic?

Shut up, idiot.

They asked if it was the butcher shop,

I said "yes", and he said:

"So that's why there's
a cow in the window, losers!"

And he hung up.

- That was a great one!
- And done as hell.

- Let's go have lunch!
- Yes.

We will refill our energy once we eat.
Also, it's Tuesday, so tulio pays.

But it feels like Tuesday, so...

Lets go.

Hello?

I am principal nogueira
at Isaac Newton high.

I have a job for you.

Please call me back at...

Ghoulbusters speaking.

Cramped parking spaces, aren't they?

I think we bumped another car.

Yeah, we did.

So you are the guys who imitate
the ghostbusters.

No. We don't "imitate" anyone.

- You don't?
- No.

What about the ghost in the stop sign?

That isn't a ghost. It's a ghoul.

What's the difference?

"What's the difference?”
tell him the difference.

There is no difference!

Yes, there is.

The difference is that the ghostbusters
have a ghost in a no parking sign,

while ours is in a yield sign.

So you hunt ghouls,
but you yield to ghosts?

- Whose dumb-ass idea was that?
- That's what I've...

Come on.

- You can't agree with him!
- I can't believe this...

Sorry, pal.

Not in my school.

Not in my school.

Back where I lived,
we called her the cotton girl.

Here, you know her as bloody Mary.

The name doesn't matter.
The spirit is the same. A tormented one.

In order to summon her,
you just need to knock three times,

flush three times,
and call her real name three times.

And she appears.

Yes, she does. In the bathroom mirror.

Blond hair, cotton in her nostrils.

One of our students summoned her.
Right here, in this school,

and that put a curse on this place.

Did you get that on tape?

- Did you, tulio?
- No! You didn't tell me to!

- Come on, man.
- You did not tell me to!

- Now I'm recording.
- No need to do that.

Turn off that piece of crap.

Let's get down to business.

One of our students had a seizure
in the bathroom this week.

Now she's in a coma.

Word got around,
and we started to worry...

I don't think it's an ordinary coma.

I really felt a strange energy
coming from that bathroom.

Have you been using the students'
toilet again, conan?

And so, rumors spread.
Everyone talking about it.

About how the school being haunted,

the existance of the cotton girl
in the bathroom.

And how can we help?

I have a student who's
a big fan of your channel.

We have many of those.

In our school, I only know one.

The point is: He convinced everyone else
and he started this petition

asking you to kill bloody Mary.

That's why I brought you here.

So you can do your little shtick,
lift the school's spirits,

and lessen the pain
of the kid who's in the icu!

You shouldn't trivialize this,
principal nogueira.

She guessed my name,
and I hadn't told her!

- She read the plate on your desk.
- What plate?

I didn't even notice he had a name plate!

- Look, our job is serious.
- We're ghoulbusters.

And digital influencers.

Anyway, what do you want us to do?

It's simple.

Go to the schoolyard,
take a few pictures,

give the kids autographs, and sign
a form saying you killed the ghost.

Everybody's happy and back to class.

Our job isn't as simple
as signing sick notes like a doctor.

- We can't agree to...
- Let me do the talking, okay?

How much are we in for?

How much do we have left
from last year's June party?

A thousand bucks.

Let's raise it a little. Like rs 1,500?

So the three can have 500 each.

We're four, actually! I'm here too.

Just let him speak.

Fifteen hundred.
Fifteen hundred.

I think so...

Deal...

Let's be reasonable and use common sense.

The souls of innocent kids are at stake!

You can't put a price on that.

- Forty thousand.
- Excuse me?

Forty thousand.

Are you crazy, man?

We've hired Barney the dino
for less than that.

He brought all of us so much joy.

Take into consideration that
I'm not even charging my usual fee.

This is just for the use
of special equipment,

special soul fee and overnight stay,

since we will have to stay overnight
to investigate this properly.

Forget it! I won't agree to that.

No, sir.

If a thief breaks into the school,
you call the cops.

If the school's on fire,
you call the firemen.

If that teacher there wants
to fix that mug of hers,

you call Dr. 90210.

But, against the supernatural,
you can only count on us.

Forty thousand or no deal.

Are you stupid? Those 15 hundred
would've come in handy for me!

No need to be a psychic
to see you'd fuck this up.

I keep asking myself that: If Steve Jobs
had a mind as small as yours,

would he have invented the cell phone?

- Actually, he didn't invent...
- Yes, he did!

Don't panic. That was just
a little something that went down.

Just some food poisoning
from the cafeteria food.

But since we all believe in ghosts here,

I will receive the devil over
a sanitary inspection any day.

You're hired.

You got yourself a deal.
Eighty thousand.

- Fifteen hundred.
- Forty thousand.

- Fifteen hundred.
- Fifteen thousand.

- A thousand!
- Deal.

I want you here
at seven o'clock in the morning.

Then you will walk out that door
and give the kids' parents and the press

a statement, saying that there's
no bloody Mary, no cotton girl,

no devil, no chupacabra, no nothing.

I met this teacher just now.
An angel in a skirt.

- Can she stay with us?
- Sure!

Both her and conan, our security guard.

His shoe size is 15.

And leave the school
just the way you found it.

Clean and organized.

Or else, I will make sure to personally

introduce you and your little pals
to Satan himself!

Just leave it to us!

I will treat the school
as if it were my own house.

Where's the rest of the stuff?

I'm coming. Just a second. I'm coming.

Let's go over the plan!

When did you catch a shadow around here?

Fred will collect witness accounts
from the teachers.

Tulio will turn on the
projector on the mirror

and warn me when all is ready.

I will take the teacher to the bathroom,
she will be spooked, and we will run.

We will go through the haunted hall,
find the ghost, and I will fight it.

I will point my exo-ray gauntlet
at its head and say:

"Eat this, jackass!”

What a load of crap.

- And that catchphrase sucks!
- People love the catchphrase!

We always try your plan,
and it always fails.

I'm the leader,
so let me take the lead, kid.

Stay quiet. So here's the plan.

Jack will turn on
the projector on the mirror

and warn me when everything's ready.

I will take the teacher to the bathroom,
she will be spooked, and we will run.

We will go through the haunted hall,
find the ghost, and I will face it.

We sell this pilot for TV
and become rich and famous.

Eat this, jackass!

Where do I come in?

Ask the spirit.

This plan is garbage!
It doesn't even have a catchphrase,

and you will end up being sued
for sexual harassment.

Who hasn't been?

Why don't we just try to prove
that ghosts do exist?

Seriously.

Because we've been trying
to do that for 20 years

and all we've proven is that people
who take ghosts seriously

end up like you,

a nutcase who talks to herself
like a crackhead.

I mean it, guys.

As long as we got to do this,
we might as well do it for our friendship.

That is what our opening line says.

"The power of friendship gave them
the courage to face the unknown,

and, together, they will prove
to the world that ghosts do exist

and need to be chased...”

Well, I was waiting to give you this
after we were hired by a TV channel,

but I guess it's okay
if we used it in the pilot.

Dude! That's awesome!

Wow! Real uniforms?

Seriously, Jackson?

If you had money to order uniforms,

why didn't you pay my uncle's rent?

What are you, Broadway?
Everything's about "rent" with you!

Jesus Christ...

I paid for these with a loan

from an entrepreneur
who has a lot of faith in our work.

Those good-for-nothing bums!

I got to to admit they do look cool.

Don't you have one for me?

- Yes, you do have a uniform.
- Cool!

Dude, no way.

I'm not playing the ghost again!

Let go of your ego
and take this one for the team!

This is ridiculous!
It's the ghost of a 13-year-old girl!

I'm a bearded 30-year-old man!

You have a point.
13-year-old girls don't have beards.

- Yeah.
- Of course they don't.

Take this.

So we're all on the same page. Shall we?

No. I disagree!

You kidding? I'm not wearing this shit!

If I wanted to show my boobs,
I'd be in a soap opera,

not chasing ghosts with you bozos!

Then you can wear whatever you want.

Can I wear whatever I want?

- No!
- No!

Cotton girl? Or bloody...

Testing sound. One, two, three.

What a bunch of losers.

Cotton girl? Bloody Mary?

Or simply a myth?

Based on recent
happenings in this school,

she appears to be real.

That's why we're going to investigate
every nook and cranny here

in search of the real story.

If you have the guts, come with us.

Are you going to take my statement now?

Actually, I was thinking of interviewing
that lady teacher that is more...

The one that is youn...

Well, but the principal asked me
to stay with you tonight.

Good god!

Good god...

- "Good god?" Aren't you an atheist?
- Sorry...

- Why no cotton in your nostrils?
- Yeah, here's the thing.

The camera is kind of far,
it won't really show.

Do 13-year-old girls have beards?

Do 13-year-old girls have dicks?

Just shave it.

Fine.

It was right here, with this axe,

that one of our country's most heinous
crimes was committed, in 1992,

and here we've also made contact
with the murderer's soul.

What you're about to see is frightening,

scary...

And sickening.

But before you do,
smash that like button!

Like, like, like!

These guys are terrible.

That is what stupid teenagers like,
stupidity other idiots post on YouTube.

Will that horror stuff
they're shooting be good?

Of course not! They're four idiots
making a horror movie.

Teachers' lounge

they're not even good comedians.

There's not a single real actor in this.

Just look at it,
they shoot it all at a single location.

They don't have the budget to shoot
anywhere nicer, like a flowery park.

At least the principal's paying us.

He promised a bonus to whoever
stays to give a statement.

- All I fear is making a fool of myself.
- I don't.

We are just giving statements.
We are like extras.

Even if it ends up being crap,
it won't hurt my career.

Plus, people say that, in horror movies,

there's always steamy scenes
between extras like us.

Jack, do you copy?

I'm taking Mrs. Helena to the toilet

to shoot the reenactment
and take her statement.

Mrs. Helena? Talk about getting
the short end of the stick!

You wanted the hot teacher
and you're stuck with that dog.

Look, just distract her for a bit
while I fix the projector here.

Don't bring her in here!
I will figure something out.

I told you your plan was crap!

Oh, my god! It's happening!

What the fuck are those
bastards doing to my school?

Son of a bitch!

I will do it.

I'm going there myself.
Eu vou matar

Jack, I don't know what you did,

but it kicked ass! I was almost scared!

The old hag is shitting herself!

I'm taking her to the classroom.

Film me, okay?

Just point the camera.
I look good from any angle.

They say bloody Mary's spirit
only appears in the bathroom,

but I feel her presence right here.

She's in her natural habitat.

What was that?

Calm down.

Heard that? The noise come from there.

Come on.

Don't make a sound.
Ghosts dislike certain sounds.

Look.

It's bloody Mary!

This is the first time a TV show
witnesses an actual ghost.

Not counting the other times we did that.

Looks real, doesn't it?

Even the blood.

The trick is not showing fear.

- Did you see that?
- I did!

Did you see the footage we just caught?

- See how I ain't scared of anything?
- I did...

- Great job, man!
- What?

- You rocked in there!
- Where?

- That TV deal is in the bag!
- What is this joke?

The lights went out,
so I couldn't shave it all.

- Does it look bad?
- But why the dress?

Don't worry, tulio,
I will explain it to her.

That was tulio back there.

It's called shooting.

- When you see a ghost...
- Wasn't me.

- You scream in fear.
- I wasn't there.

It's going great!
It's just what we needed!

You're the one who doesn't understand!

That thing back there
isn't from this world!

- It was tulio.
- Fred.

I wasn't in that room.

Caroline.

Always trying to steal the show.

Let's do it by ourselves.

It's bloody Mary, not classroom Mary.

I just don't understand...

Our father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done...

Amen.

Ouch!

- Shit, man...
- Let's scram, now!

Jack, that was good,
but I wasn't recording.

Do it again, but don't be a ham.

We have to leave, now!

Maybe we should leave, now.

Learn this, teacher.
Running away isn't an option

for a ghoulbuster!

Caroline?

Back to ruin our thing again?

She botched our shooting downstairs
and now's she's back for more.

Haven't you ever heard of teamwork?

We are a team,
but she's always showing off.

Fine, then. Do your little performance.

I will just record it
and edit it out later.

Hey, tulio.
You were a lot better than her.

It's so fake. She's just trembling!

She's possessed by
the ghost of Parkinson's disease!

At least throw up,
piss yourself or something.

"Oh, no! I think I'm possessed!

Nah, it's just bad acting."

Forget a career in soap operas.
Comedy skits at best.

Blood?

Did you hear that?

This area is like that.
When it starts raining,

the old pipes get clogged,
the turds flow back,

the wiring makes the lights blink,
bugs crawl up from gutters, it's hell.

Gross.

If this was a horror movie, now would
be time for the first victim to die.

With these guys? I doubt it.

They'd probably make
one of those cliché horror movies

where someone suddenly
touches somebody's shoulder

just for a cheap scare...

Where are they?
And why aren't you with them?

They told us to wait here.

- What about conan?
- He's probably with them.

Geez.

We've just lost a team member!

Help me open that door!

I can't call anyone!

There's no signal!

Who you going to call? Ghostbusters?

You have just opened the gates of hell!

There's got to be another way out!

Enough.

No more shooting in this school.

And I will keep your fee
as payment for the lamps you broke.

Principal, please, go to the hall

and see with your own eyes
what happened to Caroline.

You must see what happened to her!

Is this Caroline?

No, it was...

This is just a bearded bum
wearing a dress.

But if he sees himself as Caroline,
who am I to disagree?

I will just have to accept it, otherwise
he will sue me because of gender bias.

Caroline? Wake up!

Come on! Wake up!

My friend's head
just exploded right there.

You're telling me one head
squirted out all this blood?

- Yeah.
- That's right.

What a big head.

I always knew they were clowns,

but you, teacher?

Principal, there really was a body there.

- Please...
- It was there!

- We got it all on video!
- Show him!

- It is recorded.
- Watch it!

No more shooting!

Thirty minutes.

I want my school squeaky clean
in 30 minutes.

Thirty minutes to leave
my school spotless!

Or I will call the police.

- 0h, god!
- Jesus Christ!

1 don't know!

Caroline's head exploded! She's dead!

Pull yourself together!

- Bloody Mary.
- Where?

I saw her. She's real.
She escaped the mirror.

You know me, I tried
to stop her, of course...

Here's what we should do: Go back
to the bathroom where it all began

and perform the summoning
ritual backwards.

- We got to get out of here, he's raving.
- I'm not! Just listen to me this time.

If we do that, she will go back
to the world she was in

and leave ours. It's so obvious!

That is it!

That is the single dumbest idea
I've ever heard.

If you had heard it in stranger things,

you would think it was genius.

Hello?

Yeah, yeah.

"Seven days.”

Cut the crap and wrap it up!

You've made a mess out of my school!

I'm calling a cleaning service tomorrow

and that will come out of your pocket!

Enough, sons of the evil!

Spawn of Satan! Go to hell!

I'm going to borrow conan's gun
and shoot you right in the face!

We need to get the camera
from the principal's office.

Screw the camera!

You work here. Are there other exits?

- There are none!
- Let's jump out the window!

- Bad idea.
- Why?

The last kid who tried playing hooky

by jumping out the window
ended up like this.

His ass came up to his neck?

Are those his testicles
hanging from his chest?

Yes.

You keep pictures of crippled students?

No, people share them
over the teachers' chat group.

- I find it distasteful, too.
- I thought it was kind of cool.

The secret is to think
as if we were in a horror movie.

Yeah, right. So everyone dies,
except the hot chick.

And we don't even have a hot chick.

That's it!

Before they renovated,
there was a door that led outside!

- Great!
- Where?

I don't know! I only started
working here after the renovation.

Great. Dungeon master's in the group.

She knows there's an exit,
but doesn't know where.

There's an old floor plan
in a cabinet in the principal's office.

It's our best shot!

Perfect. And while we're at it,
we grab the camera!

Oh, man, not blood again!

Did principal nogueira just die?

No, I think this room
is having its period.

I sure hope he didn't.

Look.

This is real blood.

Bloody Mary's spirit is real!

She escaped from the bathroom
and now is attacking people!

We're going to die,
and you're shooting a video!

If we die and people find this,
at least I will be famous.

Look for the damn plans!

- Found it!
- The floor plans?

No, our payment!

What? Fair is fair.

Guys!

No matter what happens,

we simply cannot act like
those morons in horror movies

who split up to find out
where the noise came from.

That never works!
We got to stick together!

Guys?

Jackson?

Hey.

It's the principal.

I found them! I found the floor plans!

We are saved!

You.

Yeah, you. Pothead.

Me?

You're going to die

before

Christmas.

Fred! Help!

I'm swallowing HIV here!

- He's fine!
- Is he?

No!

Yeah, he's doing great.

Jackson! Help me!

He's going to kill me! Save me, Jackson!

Hey!

Hey! He's going to kill me!

Do you think we are going to die?

Of course not.

I'm this team's leader. I'm not
letting anything bad happen to us.

I can't believe this is happening.

Me neither!

All I just wanted to have my own TV show!

Fred...

Why did we have to find a ghost
who wants to kill us all?

Couldn't we just have found slimer?

Or Casper?

At least he is a friendly ghost.

Lab

Somebody help!

Chill out, man.

You're being a little rough.

No!

Go back to hell, bastard!

Go transmit HIV to Satan!

You know, when I was a kid,

I'd never perform the bloody Mary ritual.

I was too afraid.
I mean, I was just a kid.

So much has changed since my days.

There's so much I don't do anymore.

Do you really think we're going to die?

If this was our last night alive,

what would you want to do?

Huh?

You're Asian, but you're a redhead?

That's fucked up.
Where were you born? Hiroshima?

You chose the worst time
to come out of the closet.

It's late. You're the only student here.

- What are you, stupid?
- 1I'm your biggest fan.

I'm legendary thanos.
I comment on all of your videos!

Legendary thanos...

I hate you. If I'd known that,
I'd have kicked you in the face instead.

- So what's the plan?
- Here's the plan, kid.

See? This is the plan.

A nice plan right up your ass.

The plan is getting out of here!

And you're going to let
bloody Mary to haunt the bathroom?

She ain't in the bathroom anymore.
She's loose all over the school.

Then someone has freed her
from the mirror.

Who could be that dumb?

Anyway, you always have a plan,
don't you?

Why don't you make one of your weapons?

It's different now, it's something else.
Now tilio isn't the ghost. Just shut up.

Who is tulio?

What are you looking for?

Mom once told me that the library
was public back in her days,

so there must be an exit there!

The exit is here. In the library!

I knew it!

I'm just going to ask you a favor.

Once we leave this room, zip it.

Keep your mouth shut. Do not fidget.

Clearly you do nothing but screw up.

Didn't I just tell you to be quiet?

We're going to the library,
but we should find a weapon first.

Had you ever got fucked
on school grounds?

Harder!

So, teacher, am I approved?

Harder!

Enjoying the math table?

Harder!

Go to hell, Fred!

Push the locker!

- Do something, kid!
- But what?!

Whatever, find a wire coat hanger
and pills of cytotec!

Did you see that?

The mirror killed the fetus!

I'm sure that the mirror
bloody Mary came out of

is the only thing that can hurt her!

Like a silver bullet for werewolves,
or garlic for vampires!

Gee, man. Was that really necessary?

It was already dead.

I never want to look at another fetus.

Bloody Mary... she exists...

She really does exist.

Do not touch that!

The hell's this all about?

1 knew it!

- Caroline's head exploded... blood...
- 1I'm going to find out what's going on.

Have you brought a fucking
kid to the school at night?

I don't know anything about no kid!

I'm calling the principal.

- I'm crapping my pants...
- Hello?

Did you cut off the school's phone line?

I'm drenched in blood, and you're worried
about the school's phone line, dude!

Bloody Mary is going to kill us all!

Bloody Mary, huh?

- So she's going to kill us, huh?
- Yes!

Shut your trap!
I'm going to deal with this.

- You just stay here, nice and quiet...
- She's going to kill you!

Wwhile I deal with this bloody Mary.

Let me go!

I'm going to fix this shit.

But, first,

I got to take care of
some more serious shit.

Hey! Get me out of here!

They forgot about us in here.

Didn't they ask us
to be part of this joke?

If this was a horror movie,
we'd be those meaningless side characters.

The ones who are just cast
to add some extra deaths and blood.

Yeah.

But in those movies,
before those characters die,

they're either doing drugs or having sex.

But I didn't bring any drugs.

- Or having sex.
- Then I think we will survive.

I will go talk to the principal to see

- if we can go home now.
- Wait.

We've come this far. We will make it.

What about tulio?

There's no more tulio.
And that's your fault.

You left him behind!

Mrs. Helena had ran off!
I had to protect her.

- She was an innocent bystander.
- You're lucky I came to save you.

Actually, I found you in the hallway!

The exit must be somewhere around here.

It's in the library, like I said.

As I said, it's in the library!

Just because it has books,
doesn't mean it's a library.

Bloody Mary.

Boo!

What the fuck is that shit?

Not today, mister poop!

I need to get out of here.

We need to get out of here!

- We got to leave!
- That's what I said when I came in here!

I just fought a poop, man!

Li noticed the smell!

Dude, why do you keep
a shotgun in a school?

You don't know this school.

Yes, I do! It's a regular school!

You're right, this is incriminating
evidence I'm stashing for my cousin.

- As for you...
- What?

You talk too much! Come on!

I hope your friend is right
about the exit being there.

He isn't my friend.

I hate him.

- Why?
- He's legendary thanos.

- What?
- Yeah.

- That kid's a jackass.
- No, you're the jackasses!

- I never thought you'd be such wusses!
- Listen, kid.

I've survived a week in the jungle
drinking my own urine!

Oh, yeah? And what did you eat?

Your ass!

- Great.
- Do you still think I'm a wuss?

Don't get near her. She's possessed.

What happened to me?

- Don't you remember anything?
- Anything at all.

Not even about us?

Everything will be all right now.
Mrs. Helena is here!

"Everything will be okay now.
Mrs. Helena is here.

Everything will work out."

This isn't icarly, you little shit!

Don't mind them, Mrs. Helena.
Just a second.

Sit down a bit, take deep breaths.

So you don't remember anything?

I don't.

So, what's the plan?

What the fuck is that?

It's torch slipcase.
Can't you see it's a condom?

Have you never seen one before?
You fucked that trollop?

She was possessed, man.
I fucked bloody Mary!

- Bloody Mary?
- Yeah!

A 10-year-old girl?

That's child molesting!

She isn't really 10. She's over 100,

considering she died last century.

So she's dead. That's necrophilia!

No. Bloody Mary was
in her very alive body.

Where am 1? Where do I go?

Also, if the kid is ten,
and we add up the teacher's age,

I fucked a 70-year-old, on average.

So you fucked Mrs. Helena
and bloody Mary at the same time?

- That's right.
- Dude.

Then it was a threesome.

Exactly.

You shouldn't even be
in this conversation.

Yeah. Here, throw this away.

What a sissy.

So this is it?

This is my role in the story?

To be cast as a minor character,

end up in some dump,

and die a grotesque death?

You bastards!

Shit!

Come on.

I'm going to find out what you did.

Come on. We're getting out of here.

We are getting out of here!

Stop eating Caroline!

You cannibal!

Stop it, cannibal! You cannibal!

What the fuck?

Do you want to play with me?

I'm beginning to remember...

See this?

The old exit is somewhere on that wall.

- Let's do this.
- Wait a second.

- The exit is here!
- Good job, thanos!

Of course you knew where it was.
You saw it here.

Guys, I felt it...

She's just a little girl,

upset over bad things
that happened to her...

Yeah, she's just a victim, right?

Deep down, she's really nice.

She was just helping Caroline
clear up her head.

Students are confused.
It is my duty to help them!

So you like helping?

Then help them push that bookshelf
so we can get out of here!

Come on, now.

It's blocked.

Record this to me.

Don't try this at home.

Are you stupid?

Did you really think you could tear
down that wall with a flying kick?

There is no way out.
You will have to face bloody Mary.

Or help her.

For a teacher and an Asian kid,
you guys are pretty dumb.

Haven't you realized that
we're not paranormal hunters?

We can't face ghosts.

We're just freeloaders
following the YouTube trend

so we don't have to get real jobs.

Who told you to film that, kid?

Before doing this,
I've tried getting into big brother,

being a dj, doing stand-up comedy.
I've even been a pro MMA fighter!

No, that's a lie.
You've never been a pro MMA fighter.

And if you did,

catarina would kick your ass.

Catarina? Who's catarina?

Bloody Mary's real name.

How come you know that?

Everybody uses "bloody Mary"
when they summon her,

but not me.

I performed properly the ritual.
That's why she showed up.

You performed "properly" the ritual, huh?

Where did you find this?

Wait, man!

Stay back! I'm armed!

And then the ox came
and fell on top of me!

How could I escape? Oxen are heavy!

So I balled up my screwdriver like this,

I pierced its hide
between its third and fifth ribs,

and made my way through him
by ripping out his guts.

I went through to the other side!

What does it say here?

Do you always come here to read
old newspapers and summon ghosts?

No. Actually, I came to see this.

- Why don't you look up porn on the net?
- Mom's Christian, she's blocked xvideos.

This is why you were always going on
about Caroline's boobs in the comments.

Shall we try and do something
useful around here?

Maybe there's something here
that might help us.

You left me behind to die.

What?

Wait, tulio, killing friends
isn't going to solve problems.

Friends?

My friends were going for
the exit and leaving me?

I'd never leave you behind!
I was going to come back with the police!

And what would the police do?
Handcuff the ghost?

Shoot it in the head?

Bullets go through
bloody Mary's body, moron!

I saw it with my own eyes!

But I think this bullet
can kill me a douchebag.

I only have one.
And I'm thinking of using it on you.

- Just to try it out.
- Calm down, tulio.

This isn't what you're thinking
we're so close to putting an end to...

By leaving me behind to die, right?
That is it!

You have no idea what
I went through to get here.

I've had to rip my way through
the guts of a huge ox

with my own hands.

His shoe size was 15.

Turn that shit down!

Dude, we can use what's here
to become rich!

It's going to change our lives!

So now I'm good enough
to be on camera, huh?

Actually, right now we
want you on our team! Right?

Yeah!

- That's right!
- Exactly!

Because you're talking
like a real ghoulbuster.

- Yeah!
- That's right, man.

Will I have my own uniform?

- Of course!
- The nicest uniform!

And I will never have to dress
like a ghost again?

- No.
- No way.

That was bad taste.

I never agreed to that.
It was Caroline's idea.

You're going to be on camera, tulio.

You will have your own uniform
with the ghoulbusters logo.

Shut up!

That name sucks!

It sounds like a ghostbusters
cheap ripoff.

And that logo, too! It was drawn
by a one-handed nincompoop.

But it was me.

We're going to change it.
It will be the logo I designed

and you guys just ignored.

- I have it here with me.
- No, no! Dude!

- Did you stick it up your ass?
- There's a kid here!

- Stop this, please.
- Hold on, it's kind of stuck.

I'm too young for this.

Here it is!
The logo we will be using from now on!

Put it on your uniforms. Now!

I'm sorry, but is this
a ghost with a club?

This logo empowers the ghosts.
We're the ones who should look strong.

- It's better than the shit you drew.
- It's like using a chicken in a kfc logo.

Kfc sells butchered, slaughtered chickens
and there's a happy one on the box.

- It just doesn't make sense.
- Put it on!

Paste it on already!

Li can't make it stick!

Use the blood and pus
oozing from his ear!

It's human glue. Glue it on!

And I want to be credited as
"necro-spectral sniper ceo".

- That position doesn't even exist...
- Yes, it does!

It does, man.
He fought very hard to get to it.

You know what? On second thought,
I want to be the team's leader.

No, you can't.

Whatever you are,
you've created the coolest logo

and an awesome name!

Who's this kid who sounds
like he's in some ad?

He's legendarythanos.

I hate legendarythanos!

- Me too.
- No!

- Then shoot him.
- What the fuck?

I only have one bullet.
Aim for his head!

- Stand still, kid!
- Don't do this!

- Do it!
- No!

I can't.

I'm a ghost killer.
I don't kill the living, only the dead.

- Give me that.
- And... cut!

I get it. You knew he wouldn't
have the guts to shoot me

so you used that to take
the shotgun away from him!

Yeah, that's right.
I had it planned all along.

Hey! As the new leader,
I say what we will do next!

Go back to the bathroom
and perform the ritual backwards.

Shut up. We're discussing
serious stuff here.

Where's the newspaper?
Here it is.

"During the 1975 school fair,

undertaker José mojica

claims to have talked
to the ghost of a blonde girl

through the school bathroom's mirror.

The following words
are those of catarina,

the blonde ghost...

"I was 13 years old when I got
transferred to a new school.

I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted.

Worried about what other people
would think of me..."

Who would like to read?

- Catarina.
- The milky way...

"But I never imagined
I'd have such a warm welcome.

All the girls wanted to be like me.

Those ended up being
the best days of my life.

Everything would've
been perfect, if it wasn't

for the envy of some girls.

School is the most
cruel environment there is

for a developing child.

I'd never thought my good looks

could awake such horrid
feelings in other people.

- Catarina...
- No, please!

The girls said I stole
attention away from them.

- Don't mess with us.
- Catarina.

They said horrible things to me."

Catarina!

"And humiliated me
as brutally as they could.

That's what you get for messing with us!

I couldn't handle looking at myself
again after what happened.

So I decided to leave.

Forever...

Good god.

Such cruelty!

I agree. We need to destroy that ghost!

Stop this! Didn't you hear
what I just read?

That girl is a victim
of the society of the living!

All she wants is retribution!

And that's what we're going to give her!

Retribution for...

What?

From what I've gathered, last time she
threw a fit, she tried to kill you.

- She was possessed!
- She might be now, too!

Her head wasn't spinning!

Right.

I see how it is.
You're going to defend your girlfriend.

Is she your girlfriend?

Of course not!

We were stuck together
in an extreme situation, so...

I got stuck with that kid, too,
but I didn't think about fucking him.

Lost your chance.

So, as the leader,
I will tell you all what to do.

We will focus on getting out of here!

Your plan being?
Perform the ritual...

I know! How about
burning the school down?

- Who could survive fire?
- A ghost, maybe?

Can't you all just shut up?
Here's what we will do.

We will throw the kid outside,
and while bloody Mary eats him,

we hide and wait for the people
who can actually bust ghosts.

- Aren't we those people?
- Just shut up!

- I have a plan.
- Oh yeah?

Let's hear it.

You want to know what my plan is?
This is the plan!

Right in your face! Here's your plan!

You don't deserve to wear this.

You will never be ghost killers!

Unfortunately, I can't shoot
ghosts in the face...

Bullets go through bloody Mary's body!

The mirror's the only thing
that can stop her.

- I have only one bullet.
- I can hit anything at any range.

We will show the world
that ghosts have to be hunted.

I have a plan!

- I will do what I do best.
- Play smartass and ruin everything?

- Cry like a baby?
- Owe my uncle rent?

No! I will do what Caroline
told us to do from the get-go.

- What?
- I will build a weapon.

She didn't say that.

- She talked about being friends...
- Shut up!

We will need the only
item that can kill bloody Mary.

The mirror she came out of.
I had a shard of it, but I lost it.

- We must risk our lives to get it.
- You mean this shard?

Who said you could keep that?
It ain't yours.

Got some pliers there?

- The toolbox is in the bathroom.
- Then off we go.

Hold on.

Before we do that,
ll will also do what I do best.

People have always said
we faked our ghosts.

They've always been real,
but this time, more so!

And now it's personal.

You can blow as many heads as you want,

because we won't give up!

We are the ghost killers!

No, you're not.

Ghost, we're coming to exterminate you.

This is so cool! I'm flying!

Don't panic! I'm here with you!

And I won't leave you behind!
We're more than family!

We're a team!

We will stick together to the very end!

It's the exit!

Let's get out of this school!

You can't leave!
You're in remedial class!

Fred, help!

Fred!

Help!

He's going to be fine!

I'm going to kill you and your friend!

You will die like a weakling!

She's possessing me...

Kill him! Kill your friend!

She took me over!
Kill me before I kill you!

I won't kill him!
I want to see you killing him!

Get out of my friend!

Yes!

- Shoot!
- It's our only chance!

I'm possessed, man! Save yourself!

One of us has to die!

Kill him! Give what's coming to him!

Before I kill you!

Save yourself, Jackson! I'm doomed!

- Shoot!
- Kill him!

Go ahead and kill me.
I've lost too many friends today.

How cute! You're a hero!

Wish I had a cool one-liner
for this situation.

Recess is almost over,

and I'm the hall inspector
who's going to...

No use pushing me around...

Aren't you tired of getting
your ass kicked by a little girl?

He got his ass kicked by a fetus, too.

Shut up.

I call this baby here

a nice round of fucking your face!

Recess is over, bitch.

Eat this...

Jackass!

Somebody help me, please!

It hurts!

- Please!
- I will help you.

Don't be afraid.
I'm going to help you, dear.

I'm here to help.

The mirror materialized her.

See what you almost did?

You almost destroyed
this poor child's soul.

You monster!

Who'd like to read?

The milky way is one of the...

She's a victim!

Now you will see!

Sometimes someone evil

is just someone evil.

A great leader runs away from nothing,

doesn't leave his people behind

and kills those who oppose him!

Welcome back to hell, Fred.

I couldn't go away without filming this!

At least someone will make money
by selling it to faces of death!

"Aniratac".

"Aniratac".

"Aniratac".

See? Told you! I was right all along!

It was the ritual backwards!

This movie should be 20 minutes long!
We could all be in bed by now!

Is that Caroline's uniform?

I couldn't save the world
not wearing a hero outfit.

And if we survive,
I will want a male uniform.

This one kind of chafes my nads.

Not comfortable.

- Fine by me.
- Agreed.

Jackson!

She has to look in the mirror!

Get me a crowbar, tulio!

Here you go!

- Do it!
- Hold her down!

Fred, go!

That was awesome!

We exterminated bloody Mary!

We did it!

Told you it was a 40-grand job.

Now that I've helped you
and that I'm part of the team,

I think we should give
an official statement...

Shut up, kid.
You're not part of the team.

"Official statement” my ass.

Go away. You're ruining our moment.

Folks, we'd like to give
an official statement.

The ghost killers

have exterminated bloody Mary!

Unfortunately, in the process,

some teachers and the principal
have lost their lives.

Easy, now.

The school's saved, and classes
will be resumed today!

Learn this, now that you're going
to be on camera with us.

You will never please everyone.

- And take off that awful wig.
- I had that on all the time?

You know what? The most important
thing is that we're alive.

Yeah, but there is one thing
that will be hard to overcome.

Yeah, Caroline's death.

No.

Losing our show.

The footage. It's all gone.

Maybe not.

Look what I got!

Before I left, I took the footage
from the school's security cameras.

Way to go, tulio!

Now I want to see what TV station
won't buy our show!

Eat this, jackass!

To return bloody Mary to the mirror,

you just had
to perform the ritual backwards.

If I'd seen that in a movie,
I'd have found it ridiculous!

Seems to be lazy screenwriting.

If you saw it in stranger things,
you'd think it was genius.

How about ultraje a rigor writing
a theme song for the ghost killers?

I'd never work with someone like you.

You can't smoke in here!

This isn't your show!

You piece of shit.

Then I took a knife and buried it
in that kid's face!

So I took a shotgun,
looked at her in the eyes,

and said, "eat this, jackass!"

How rude! How can you
say such an absurd in here?

You can't smoke in here.
This is television.

Let's give it up for
the heroes who saved this boy!

The only thing more haunting
than the ghosts is their acting.

Okay, okay. Fred, from the ghost killers,

is seen leaving a party

with a hot old lady!

So you're ghost hunters.
You fought ghouls.

You fought bloody Mary!

For that you're getting a "hurrah!"

A "yeah, yeah", and a "cluck cluck".

Go!

"Ghoul" and "ghost" mean the same thing!

Wrong answer! Pie in the face!

See that?
That's my nephew and his friends!

Wonderful. They started in that backroom!

I gave them full support.
Always helped them.

Look at all their success!
And it's all thanks to me!

This is great. Thanks for buying here.

The ghost killers
are under investigation...

For school murders.

That takes the cake!

Blaming ghosts for crimes!

The government has verified
that the footage is fake.

The scourge of society!

The case is under investigation.

The ghost killers
will be indicted for homicide.

Those three have never been here,
and I've disowned my nephew!

Good day to you!