Get Real (1998) - full transcript

I came late to sex.
I was nearly ten.

That was when my friend Mark Watkins
told me how babies were made.

Really?
Are you sure?

Yeah. Honest.
Saw it in one of my dads videos.

For over a year after
that, I thought babies were made…

when two women tied a man to a bed
and covered his willy with ice cream.

But it's
your favourite flavour.

Na na!

At secondary
school, we were given the facts.

Its impossible for a male to mate…

unless the female is willing to
place herself correctly for him.



She then lies with her hind legs
spread out, her back arched in wards…

and the formerly aggressive
spines laid flat.

The male seizes her
by the scruff of the neck…

and mating takes place.

Mating lasts only a minute or two,
and the pair separates.

The male plays no further part
in bringing up the family.

Indeed, the two animals
will probably never meet again.

So, that was sex.

Simple, really.
Just find someone to do it with,

find somewhere to do it,
and do it.

Thing is,
when you're my age,

it just isn't that simple.

And as for
falling in love…

well, nothing
prepares you for that.



Anything interesting?

Oh. Not really.

Romeo and Juliet
by William Shakespeare.

Its really, you know,
boring.

He speaks very
highly of you.

- You doing your homework?
- Trying to.

You might find it easier with the book
turned the right way up.

- What do you do?
- I'm a writer.

Wow. A writer.

I've thought about,
you know, writing and stuff.

I'm not really sure. I-I've entered
a competition in the local paper.

You have to write about what it's like
growing up as we approach…

the new millennium.

- And, uh, what is it like?
- Oh, you know.

Could be better.

No.

I guess it's hard
for any sixteen-year-old,

- but when you're... you know
- I know.

- Youre lovely.
- Well, you're not so bad yourself.

- Tart.
- Jealous.

Oh, Linda, hes stunning.
He's got eyes like Brad Pitt.

- Tart.
- He's witty and gorgeous.

- Dangerous.
- Lins, you know I'm always safe.

Safe? Whats safe about
picking up men in toilets?

You promised me you wouldnt
do it anymore.

I don't! I was just sitting outside
minding my own business, and

Steve, babe,
don't bullshit me.

Some git starts blagging you outside the
public bog, hes only up for one thing.

Well, where else am I supposed to meet
other blokes like me?

And hes not some randy old git.
His names Glen.

He's up for the same thing I am. Were
going to the woods again on Friday.

The woods? Steve, you did it
in the woods? You could have been

- Queer-bashed by squirrels?
- He could have done anything to you.

Or you could have been arrested.
Its so risky.

Lifes a risk, Lins.

Linda, Mum says if you don't come in for
Your tea now, shell give it to the dog.

- Okay, okay.
- You havent got a dog.

Well, well get one.

He's never gonna
let you drive it.

Thats not what he said
he was doing.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Youre late again.
- Yeah. Just doing some research…

for the newspaper
competition.

Special study groups
proving useful then?

- Great.
- Hows the article going?

Oh… uh… not bad.
Should meet the deadline.

Oh.
Deadlines.

Thats very…
professional, isn't it?

Well, he wont meet any deadlines
sitting in the park.

Sorry?

Mrs. Gillingham said
she saw you sitting in the park.

Oh, yeah.
I, uh

I had a bit of a block,
so I went there to unblock.

Steven, you are going to
finish this article, arent you?

Of course I am.

Because if this is just
another of your fads,

then you might as well
use the study time for your schoolwork.

Hmm?

Oh!

♪ I'm staying out
for the summer ♪

♪ Playing games in the rain ♪

♪ The guilt and the fortune ♪

♪ Got me fooled again ♪

♪ See, I work in a factory ♪

♪ I don't want to be late ♪

♪ I got my debts to pay for ♪

♪ Gonna have to wait ♪

♪ If I ever see you again ♪

- ♪I will tell you why ♪
- ♪ Tell you why ♪

♪ I was low and insecure ♪

♪ Didnt want to make you cry ♪

Come, gentle night.
Come, loving black-browed night.

- Give me my Romeo. And when I die',

- Sorry, sir.
- Ah, Steven.

What is it today?
Earthquake?

Bus hijacked
by terrorists?

Or were you confined
to your house by the plague?

Sir?

Romeo and Juliet, Steven.
By William Shakespeare?

Okay, sit down. Oh, have you
finished that essay yet?

- Uh
- Steve. If it's not done by tomorrow,

I'll have to suggest
to your parents that you join…

the special study periods
after school.

Carry on, Wendy.

'Take him and cut him out
in little stars,

and he will make
the face of heaven so fine…

- that all will be in love with night.,
- Mark.

Can I borrow your essay?

So tedious is this day as is
the night before some festival…

to an impatient child that hath
new robes and may not wear them.

I'm just saying people sometimes
go through a phase.

- A phase? Since I was eleven?
- Eleven?

Thats how old I was
when I discovered masturbation.

Mind you it was
another three years…

before I realized I could
do it on my own.

Stop trying to shock me.
I'm unshockable.

Stick to your own balls.

You havent told those wankers
you're gay, have you?

Oh, yeah, I announced it
at assembly this morning.

I told you,
no one knows.

Geez, if they thought
I really was gay

Fuck me around enough because
I don't smoke or play football…

and I've got an I.Q
of over 25.

School full of tossers.

Oh, yeah.
Bet you fancy half ofem.

No way.

Not even him?

John Dixon.
He is sex on legs.

I know. Every time I see
his head boy badge…

I wish it was
an invitation.

Sure wouldnt kick him out of bed
for eating biscuits.

- Great poster.
- Yeah, but no ones gonna see it here.

Well, why don't you take down
all this artwork?

Its been here
for centuries.

You can create
your own notice board.

Should we ask
the teacher first?

Probably.

- Are you sure thisll be okay?
- Oh, it's fine.

Look, if it makes you feel easier,
I'll mention it to the Head later.

-Thanks.
-Look, Id better go. I've got training.

Dont work that body
too hard.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

So, um, you're on
the school magazine this term.

I am the school magazine.
No one else could be fucked.

I could be fu
Id like to help.

Whatever.
Well, look

Finish clearing this lot and, um,
stick that right in the middle, okay?

- Yes!
- Oh, for Gods sake.

Steve,
hes not coming.

The gorgeous Glen
is 45 minutes late.

- He just got held up.
- By his balls, I hope.

Sweetheart, I know you want me
to meet him. I don't—

I just don't feel
very comfortable here.

- Anyway, I've got to get home.
- Not another driving lesson.

- How many have you had now?
- Forty…

eight.

- You sure all you're doing is driving?
- What else would we be doing?

Not all men are obsessed
with sex, you know.

Who mentioned sex?

Look, you go home
if you want to.

- Youll scare him off if he sees you.
- Cheers!

No, I mean
if he sees me with

You know what I mean.

You be careful.

♪ I feel it in my fingers ♪

♪ I feel it in my toes ♪

♪ Love is all around me ♪

♪ And so the feeling grows ♪

♪ Its written on the wind ♪

♪ Its everywhere I go ♪

♪ So if you really love me ♪

♪ Come on and let it show ♪

♪ You know I love you
I always will ♪

♪ My minds made up ♪

♪ By the way that I feel ♪

♪ Theres no beginning
Therell be no end ♪

♪ Cause on my love ♪

♪ You can depend ♪

♪ I see your face before me ♪

♪ As I lay on my bed ♪

♪ I kind of get to thinking ♪

♪ Of all the things you said ♪

♪ You gave your promise to me ♪

♪ And I gave mine to you ♪

♪ I need someone beside me ♪

♪ In everything I do ♪

Oh, bugger.

Meet you outside. On the bench.

♪ You know I love you
I always will ♪

♪ My minds made up
by the way that I feel ♪

♪ Theres no beginning
Therell be no end ♪

♪ Cause on my love
you can depend ♪

♪ Its written on the wind ♪

♪ Its everywhere I go ♪

- Come on. Come on.
- ♪ So if you really love me ♪

- ♪ Come on andIet it show ♪
- Come out.

Allright, mate?

Carter, isn't it?

- Fag?
- Sorry?

Oh. Thanks.

This is a nice park.

Yeah, it's nice.

Filthy habit.

- What?
- Smoking.

I only started because
all my mates did.

Peer pressure,
they call it.

Yeah.

Peer pressure.

Dont smoke to impress me.

- You be yourself.
- Yeah.

- Listen, Dixon, I
- Hey, the names John.

John. About what
happened in there

Forget it, mate. My mistake.
I don't know what came over me.

In there it's usually a question
of not knowing who came over you.

- I didnt know it was you.
- I certainly didnt know it was you.

Look, lets just put it
out of our minds.

You don't know why
you did it either, right?

Y-You mean you're

Geez, I thoughtwhen Kevin
and the guys call you names and that,

theyre only
taking the piss, right?

I mean, you're not
really… dodgy?

- Yeah, I'm… dodgy.
- Oh, fuck me.

No, I don't mean
I just mean

Fuck me.
I'm sorry.

Dont be.
I'm not.

What are you up to now? Do you fancy
going for a coffee or something, or

- I live around the corner.
- No, I don't like coffee.

Anyway, I should get in some training
tonight. You know, sports day.

Yeah. Good luck.

Are

Are your parents in?

- You did say no sugar, didnt you?
- Yeah.

Here. Its hot.

Why don't you sit down?
Theres only the bed, I'm afraid.

- Is it okay?
- The bed?

- The tea.
- Oh, yeah. Great.

Didnt—
Didnt have you down for a soccer fan.

- I'm not.
- Why all the

Oh.

- How long have you known that you're
- Dodgy?

Since I was 11.

- Fuck me. Eleven years old?
- Yeah.

When I was in the Cubs, there was this
this porn mag being passed around,

and all the other kids were deciding
which girl they liked and stuff,

and, uh, and one kid
whispers to me,

Dont know what the fuss is about. Id
rather see another boys willy anytime.

So, I said, So would I.

I've never really talked
to another bloke about this stuff.

Oh, it's okay.
I'm just interested.

Well, intrigued.

- Like, does anyone know?
- Only Linda. Shes a mate of mine.

- What about your parents?
- Havent got a clue.

- What if they found out?
- I'm not gonna let them find out.

Theyd be gutted.

Blimey!

- Oh, that must be Lindas.
- And what was it doing in your bed?

- Please.
- Bloody hell. A gay teddy bear.

John.

I cant.
I cant handle that.

Its all right, John.
Lots of gay blokes don't like kissing.

I'm not gay!
Look.

I don't know why I
It was just a bit of fun.

- I only came for coffee.
- You don't like coffee.

Stop being so fucking clever!

John!

Hi, John.

Steven!

Steven!

What?

- Your teas ready.
- I'm not hungry.

Steven, have you got
something on your mind?

No.

- Is that your article?
- Yeah.

- Pleased with it?
- No, it's crap. Stupid.

But you were
really into it.

- Come on, lets have a look.
- No.

- I'm not sending it in.
- Oh, God, Steven.

Why cant you
see something through for once?

I mean,
whats your problem?

Sorry to be such a disappointment.

- Yeah, but if they hadnt lied
- They had to lie.

You don't think being up front
about it would have been better?

What, like,
Mom, you know that bloke Romeo?

Well, I know I'm only 14 and that, and
I know hes just murdered your cousin,

but I thought he was a bit of
all right, so I married him.

Well, what would you guys
have done in that situation?

- Steven?
- Sir?

- I said, what would you have done?
- Me? When, sir?

Okay, Iisten. Rememberthat tomorrow…

You will have to
recite a speech.

Any chance of borrowing camera equipment
from your dad for the magazine?

No chance. He's got real down
on me at the moment.

Well, could you ask him anyway?
Itsjust I told Wendy

God, Mark, I'm not groveling to my dad
just so you can impress Wendy Bates.

Oh, thanks.

- Whats up, Steve?
- What do you mean, sir?

- Everything okay at home?
- Everythings fine.

- Girl trouble?
- I said everythings fine.

Oh, did Mark ask you
about the camera?

Uh, yeah. I don't think I'm gonna
be able to get one.

Oh, thats a shame. Wendys
doing a piece for the magazine…

about the athletics team…

and we need some photographs
You sure you cant help?

Whats with this
sudden interest?

Well, I just thought doing the school
magazine would be good for me.

Hmm. Okay.

Just you make sure I get it back.
I need it for Richards wedding.

And yes, you do
have to come.

- I'm afraid I'm a bit early. My
- Ah, Mr. Armstrong.

Not to worry. I'm not quite ready
myself yet, so make yourself at home.

I'll be back in a minute.
Debbie, can I just check something?

Glen! God, I thought Id
never see you again.

What the hell
are you doing here?

I just came to borrow
a camera from my dad.

- Your dad?
- Its cool.

He's got no idea.

- Why did you stand me up the other day?
- Please, keep your voice down.

- Did you find another man?
- Right. Ready for your big moment?

Hello, darling.

I thought I told you
not to wear that jacket.

Now, Mrs. Armstrong, if youd
like to just take a seat there.

Good. Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

Hello.

From forth the fatal loins
of these two foes,

a pair of
star-crossed lovers.

A Which speech
are you learning?

Romeo, Romeo, cover me in honey…

- and suck it off with a straw.
- What?

- God, hes perfect.
- Fancy him, do ya?

He can pass me his baton any day.

- Hi.
- You girls using…

your study periods productively?

Yes, sir. I was just
helping Wendy do some research.

Um, Steves gonna take
the photos for us.

Its all right if he joins
the magazine team, isn't it?

Uh, yeah, all right, thanks.

-John, we need to do that shoot now.
- Yeah, fine.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Is that your team vest?
- Yeah.

- Maybe you should wear that.
- Yeah, if you want.

Well, you're the expert,
Steven, so I'll leave it to you.

Hey, you know that guy who was arrested
last month for flashing young lads?

- Yeah.
- He's only a bloody priest.

- Was he arrested in the organ loft?
- In the park.

The police say the woods
are full of pervs.

Jess!

- Right on cue.
- We need to talk.

Shouldnt you be somewhere else,
Kevin, like remedial reading?

P.M.T., is it, Jessica?

Yeah.
Post-moron tension.

Best thing you ever did
dumping that wanker.

Hey, Steve, do you want to go
to the woods later with a camera,

get some News of the World
stuff for the mag?

No, seriously, we could
write something about this.

We want the magazine to be
more radical this year, right?

Well, what could be more radical
than a gay story?

Its not a gay story.

- Its a pervert story.
- Whats the difference?

Well, you're not gay
and you're a pervert.

Something funny, Carter?

- Leave him alone, Kevin!
- Queer fuck!

- Still laughing, are we?
- I'm not queer.

Kevin!

Stop pratting around,
Grainger.

Leave the girlies
alone.

You okay?

Uh, yeah, I'm fine.

So, um, when did
you and Kevin split up?

Oh, um,

a few days ago.

I-Id rather not,
you know

I knew she liked him.

Yeah.
He's liked her forever.

- Think shell go out with him?
- Maybe.

If she finally gives up on the idea
of stealing John Dixon…

away from Christina
Supermodel Lindmann.

- You ever seen her?
- No.

- Not even the underwear pictures?
- No, I

Shes not a real model. She models
underwear for mail-order catalogs.

Oh.

Still, she is
rather gorgeous.

I told Wendy youd have to be pretty
special to take John away from her.

Is that you, Steven?

Yeah.

I brought your photos back.
Theyre on your desk.

Oh, thanks.

I think she likes me, but she seems,
like, quite distant sometimes.

Its killing me.
Were talking permanent erection here.

- Theres a medical term for that.
- Uh, yeah sad bastard.

Funny. Did you
see her this morning?

I'm sure shes not wearing a bra.
You can see the outline

God, just ask her to go
to the bloody ball with you.

- Well, it's difficult.
- It could be more fucking difficult.

Do you want to go to the cinema on
Sunday? If you don't pull at the ball.

- Maybe.
- Go on, itll cheer you up.

- I don't need cheering up.
- Oh, yeah, right.

All right.
Cinema, Sunday.

Hows, uh

- Hows tricks?
- Fine.

We must
stop meeting like this.

- Hi, Mr. Carter.
- Hello, Linda.

- You look nice today.
- So do you.

- Mrs. C.
- See you Monday, Linda love.

Have a nice time, eh?

Steve!

♪ Now pretty ladies
around the world ♪

♪ Got a weird thing to show you
so tell all the boys and girls ♪

♪ Tell your brother, your sister
and your mama too?

♪ Cause were about throw down
and you know just what to do ♪

♪ Wave your hands in the air
like you don't care ♪

So, thats the incredible
Christina Lindmann?

Where?

The girl youve been staring at
for the last 20 minutes.

Have not.

You ever thought of doing it
with an older woman?

Not exactly.

♪ When you hear the call youve
got to get it underway ♪

♪ Word up
Its the code word ♪

♪ No matter where you say it
You know that youll be heard ♪

♪ Now all you sucker DJs ♪

Stop staring at him.
Its embarrassing.

- He stares back.
- In your dreams.

♪ You try to put on those airs
and act real cool ♪

♪ But youve got to realize
that you're acting like fools ♪

♪ Give us music, we can use it
We need to dance ♪

♪ We don't have the time
for psychological romance ♪

- Get off of me!
- ♪ No romance, no romance ♪

♪ No romance for me, mama ♪

♪ Come on, baby
tell me whats the word ♪

♪ Word up ♪

You, um

- You okay?
- Yeah.

Just needed some air.

Kevin Graingers
a right twat, isn't he?

You all right,
my man?

- See anyone you fancy?
- Mmm.

- Yeah, Jessica.
- Ah, forget her. Pastures new, boy.

Pastures is right.
Cows, the lot of them.

Well, you don't look at the mantle piece
when you're poking the fire, do ya?

What happens if you're
poking the mantle piece?

So, it was fine
for six months.

He was nice,

almost, you know,
romantic.

Kevin Grainger, romantic?
Give me a break.

Well, then we you know,

did it.

First time for me.

And?

Oh, God, I'm not sure I should be
telling all this to a bloke.

Okay. On the day
after we you know,

Wendy heard him tell the lads about
well, everything.

Details,
graphic details.

Even what Id been saying
when we were

I felt humiliated.

He said hes sorry.
He said he wants me back, but

No, you deserve
better than that.

Thanks.

Look, I'm fine now.
Lets go back in.

Anyway, I think I'm
off blokes for life.

- What about you?
- Me?

Yeah, you're a real secretive one.
Got a girl in your life?

No, not really.

But youd
like there to be.

- Something like that.
- Who? Someone here tonight?

- Yeah.
- Anyone I know?

♪ If you really
want it good, girl ♪

♪ Get yourself a bad boy ♪

♪ Get it like it could be, would be
Yeah, like it should be ♪

♪ If you want it
to be good, girl ♪

♪ Get yourself a bad boy ♪

There you are.
She looks available.

God, youd have to
be desperate.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Hi. I'm Kevin.

- And you are?
- Thirsty.

- Fancy a real drink, Kirsty?
- No, thanks.

Something else, then?
Diet Coke?

You know, I really like…
cuddly girls.

So, uh, could I
see you home tonight?

He's seeing me home.

- That wanker?
- No, not you, Steven.

Oy, Carter! Not exactly
an oil painting, is she?

No, shes cuddly,

and until a few seconds ago, you assumed
that because I'm a fat girl…

instead of some slim oil painting,
Id be gagging…

for a quick one
in the doorway of Toys-R-Us.

- Linda.
- I can just imagine sex with you:

the pathetic fumbling
to find the bra strap,

the slobbery kisses, belching
into some poor girls mouth…

because youve had too much
chilli sauce on your kebab…

and then the main event,
which is either over in seconds…

or not at all because
you're too fucking pissed.

Shall I take that
as a definite 'no'?

- Take it up your bum.
- Thought that was his department.

Just because hes got a prick,
he thinks hes Gods gift to womankind.

Sod this. If you're going to put me
through this bloody torture,

we might as well at least
have a dance.

♪ She wasnt easy ♪

♪ Changing rocking rolling
minds ♪

♪ And things were
getting shaky ♪

♪ I thought I had to
leave it behind ♪

♪ But now it's
so much better ♪

♪ Hey, I'm funky now
in every way ♪

♪ You are so beautiful ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ You are so beautiful ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ Cant you see ♪

♪ Youre everything
I hoped for ♪

♪ Youre everything I need ♪

♪ You are so beautiful ♪

♪ To me ♪

♪ You are so beautiful ♪

Dont you start!

- Sorry, I was thinking of someone else.
- Charming.

♪ You are so beautiful ♪

♪ To me ♪

God, it gets
really boring sometimes.

You havent got a monopoly
on rejection, you know.

- At least you're not me.
- Cuddly.

Sweetheart, I'm not cuddly. I'm not
a big girl, I'm not well-rounded.

I'm absolutely
fuckin enormous.

The only offers I get are from dickheads
like Kevin Shit-for-brains Grainger,

and even then after hes tried
every other girl in the place.

At the end ofthe evening,
dancing with the desperate.

Tsk. Men.

Look, lets have a night ofdebauchery
while your parents are away.

I'll nip home and get a video, you can
break into your mums Cinzano cellar.

Well have a threesome
you, me and Mel Gibson.

- What will the neighbors think?
- We are the neighbors.

Yeah. I'll put
the door on the latch.

I'm changing!
Down in a sec.

I said I'll be down

Hi.

Please, I

I need to

I need to use your loo.

Oh.

Its fiirst
on the right.

Shit!

Linda! I really
don't feel too good.

- I think I'll just go to bed.
- But

- Good night.
- Steven, I really hate you sometimes.

The uh
The front door was open.

I just
had to, um

- Are your parents out?
- Thank God.

- Coffee?
- I don't like coffee!

You don't like kissing.

I'm sorry.

Please.

Help me.

- I'm— I'm worried.
- I know.

- Confused.
- I know.

You don't know!
Youre not fucking confused!

I'm getting there.

Itsjust

I thought Id—

It was a long time ago.

- What was?
- Oh, God, I'm pissed.

About

about a year ago,

geography field trip.

We went to Cornwall
with some other schools.

- You been to Cornwall?
- No.

Its really,
you know, nice.

Like, quite wild.

One night, I went
and got drunk with this guy

Danny, from one
of the other schools.

He was
Well I thought he was…

a sound bloke.

Well, apart from being
an Arsenal supporter.

Sound.

We had one of those
giant bottles of wine.

We got really pissed.

Sitting on some rocks,

by the sea.

We got really silly.
He dared me to to dive in.

He said he would
if I would.

So we took all our clothes off,
counted to three and I jumped.

Christ, it was cold.

He never jumped.

He just stood there,

laughing.

He said I was a prat
for doing it.

You were.

When I got out,

I was shivering.

Then he picked
his sweatshirt up,

and as I
sat there, he…

put it over
my shoulders and…

started to

to dry me,

so, so gently.

And I felt

I felt

Take your time.

I felt sexy.

You know, aroused.

Then he kissed me,

started to
t-to touch me…

all over.

God.
Suddenly, I freaked, and…

I pushed him off
and grabbed my clothes and ran…

and ran.

Johnny.

We never spoke to each other
for the rest of that week.

And I've never
seen him since.

I told myself…

it was the wine,

the place, the sea

that it was
his fault.

Then the other day
with you.

And now, whenever
I see you, I

I just wanna

God!

Whats wrong with me?

Shh.

Its all right.

I'm so scared.

Dont leave me.

Whoops.

Not to worry.

Well try it again
next time.

Cant we do
just one more?

Okay.

Its doing it again.

Its a bit stiff.

- Steven?
-Just making breakfast.

I'm afraid we finished
all the bacon yesterday.

Fine.

- What time are your parents due back?
- Oh, theyre back.

- Theyre down here with me.
- Oh, shit!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Mum says if you make an honest man ofme
shell help you choose the curtains.

Oh, wanker.
You wanker!

Hi, Mum.

I'll be home for dinner.

I'm still at Kevins.

What, did he ring?

Oh, well, we had
a bit of a row yesterday,

so I went and stayed
at Daves last night.

- But I'm back at Kevins now.
-Are you staying in bed all day, then?

Look, Mum, I've gotta go.
I'm on someone elses—

Kevins phone.

Sorry… for worrying you.

Yeah. See ya.

Shit.

By the way, you hogged
the bloody duvet again last night.

- Whats up?
- Could we get out of here?

Were only lying
to protect other people.

Yeah, but when Kevin called
you queer the other day, you denied it!

If you really do like beingI mean,
how can you really like yourself…

if you deny what you are?

- All right, lets tell everyone then.
- No, don't you dare!

Look, I'm sorry.
I

I'm so scared.

I feel like
everyones watching.

I know.

Listen, if you
tell anyone, it's off.

If anyone even starts
to suspect, it's off.

Its on then, is it?

Of course it's on.
I

I like you a lot.

- What about Christina?
- No contest.

Youre a better kisser.

- Promise?
- Promise.

You sure you're not
getting the wrong signals?

Steve, he kissed me.

- Where?
- On the ring road.

- No, I mean
- On the cheek.

Oh, must be love, then.

What would you
know about love?

Best you ever manage is a quick one
with a complete stranger.

Linda

Youre right.
What would I know?

I didnt know
it could be like that.

It was like everything
went in slow motion.

You know,
like in a film…

when two people stare
into each others eyes,

- and they both just know that
- Bollocks!

Bollocks! Bollocks!
Bollocks! Bollocks!

I thought it was just
going to be me and you.

I didnt know I was gonna get offwith
Wends. I didnt think youd mind.

So, is Wendy gonna bring Jessica
on all your dates, then?

I didnt know
she was coming.

Hey, you don't think theyre on
for a threesome, do you?

Oh, God. You should have
your balls surgically removed.

Gonna need them later.

You sit next to Steven.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- So, where to now, then?
- Arent you off to use your balls?

Actually, I
I quite fancy a burger.

- Some poor animals balls, then.
- Uh, listen, I've gotta get back home.

- Me too. Walk me home?
- Sure.

- See you, then.
- See you.

So, where
shall we go?

- Fancy a Whopper?
- Sure.

We can always
eat afterwards.

You know, I reckon
she can really drive, she just

she just wants more driving lessons.

Its funny, but I thought Linda was
the one that you liked at the ball.

- No. No, it wasnt her.
- Oh.

You know, I really en I really
enjoyed dancing at the ball.

-Thats what balls are for.
-Well, more than that, I really enjoyed,

you know,
talking and that with you.

Yeah. I enjoyed
talking with you, too.

- I feel like I can relax with you.
- You can.

- Yeah. Well, um, this is my house.
- Oh.

Um, thanks
for walking me home.

- Any time.
- You mean that?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

-Jess
- Lets not rush things.

Jess

Oh, bugger.

I'll catch you later.
I've gotta go and see the Head.

See you later, mate.

Hi.
How was training?

Look, I've already told you.
Never talk to me in school.

- I just wanted to
- Never!

I'm sorry, but…

weve gotta be
more careful.

Weekends are best.
We can meet Saturday.

Great.
Oh, shit.

I've got to go
to a bloody wedding on Saturday.

Playing
hard to get, eh?

Shh, shh, shh.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi.

Steve, I
What are you doing tonight?

I thought we might go
bowling, or something.

Oh, I'm— I'm busy tonight.
Maybe some other time.

Ah, Steven.
Are you ever on time for anything?

- Sorry, sir. I've got the photos.
- Fine.

We were just discussing
where to put your article.

- My article?
- 'Millennium Generation.,

- Your newspaper article.
- It won the competition.

- Oh, I hadnt heard.
- Yeah.

They want to present
the check on prize day.

And although the decision
was difficult…

because of the high quality
of the entries,

we felt your article to be
the most professional,

showing true potential and a feel
for the craft that is journalism.

There.
Well, arent you proud?

I'm— Were proud,
really proud. Arent we?

Mmm. And the 500 quidll
come in handy, wont it?

- I just I don't understand.
- What?

I don't understand how you could have
sent it in without telling me.

Well, I don't understand
why you didnt.

What was it? Too much effort
to lick the stamp?

Because it's rubbish!

But all that stuff about this town
having nothing for someone of your age

I thought you really captured
how a young person sees life.

Life?

What do you know
about my life?

Look, mate, cant it
wait till tomorrow?

I have to speak to her now.
Its important.

Ow! Yeah, well,
sos her driving.

- Shes got a test in two weeks.
- Do you think shell pass?

Bloody hope not.

Still, if she is gonna drive this thing,
the more practice she has, the better.

Yeah,
but a five-hour lesson?

Hello, Steven. We havent
seen you since Traceys christening.

Probably.
Not long enough.

So, where was I?

- Shagging Bob.
- It was more than that.

We… made love. God, it was better
than I thought it could be.

- So gentle and kind
- Steve,

- my man, hows things?
- Fine.

Arent you going to
introduce us, then?

No.

Steve, whats got into you?

I'm sick of everyone assuming
you're my girlfriend.

- Thats why you bloody invited me.
- Well, things are different now.

Why?

Steve, you're so fucked up by all this.
Just tell your parents the truth.

Yeah, why don't we get
the best man to announce it?

Lins, I've got to
get out of here.

- Lets go for a walk.
- No, I mean out.

I want to go
back to Basingstoke.

Sweetheart, no one ever wants to go
back to Basingstoke.

Yeah, well, I do.

- Youve got to help me.
- Why?

I'll tell you
if you agree to help me.

-John Dixon and me were lovers.
- In your dreams!

Its true! Thats who
I was with all last weekend.

Weve done itloads
and he loved it! He loved me!

- Steve, slow down. John Dixon
- Is my lover.

If he was my girlfriend
he could be here with me.

I've got to see him today.
I don't know when hell be free again.

- Well, lets just go.
- My dadll freak.

He says I belong here.
I don't fucking belong here.

- Darling, you're cracking up.
- Dont be melodramatic.

- Faint!
- What?

-Just do it!
- Dont be melodramatic, just faint?

Oh, please!
Then my dadll let me take you home!

- Steven Carter, I really hate
- Hate me, detest mejust faint!

Oh, my God!

Shes fainted!
Linda!

- Lins!
- Linda?

- Shes coming round.
- Where am I?

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I guess your parents are in.
- Yeah.

Pity.

There is one place
we can go.

Its over there.

We wont have to go through
all this shit after youve left school.

Itll be great.
I can visit you in Oxford and

You can what?

- Come and see you in Oxford.
- Christ!

What are you thinking
about Oxford for? Its months away.

Guess so.

- Are you looking forward to it?
- Yeah, maybe.

Well, it's funny.

I cant ever remember
making a decision to go there.

Its like it's like it was something
marked out for me…

by fate.

No. By my dad, I suppose.

- What, cause he went there?
- Yeah.

My dad the Oxford blue in everything
from rugby to cricket to tiddlywinks.

Cant blame your parents
for wanting the best, though.

I'm sure I'll be the same.

Sure.

- You hoping to have kids, then?
- Yeah.

Well, I mean,
I suppose so.

Oh, sod it.
Listen to us!

All thats
centuries away.

You do want me to come
and see you in Oxford, don't you?

Course I do.

Its just I've heard their rowing team
have their best cox for years.

Quiet!

- I think I saw someone.
- Shit!

Wed better split up.

This time you were lucky.
You ran into one of us lot.

But it could have been a lot worse.
You understand me, Steven?

I hope you do.

Yes, I-I think
hes got the point.

Thank you very much for bringing
him home. Can I show you out?

Steven.

What were you doing
in those woods?

It was just a laugh.
I'm sorry.

Oh, you're sorry.
Youre sorry.

You heard what he said. How can you
have been such a stupid sod?

- Graham.
- Well, use your imagination!

He could have been molested
by some dirty old queer!

God, the thought of it
makes me sick.

What on Gods earth
possessed you?

Well, where else were we
supposed to go?

Oh, God.

You don't think
it's drugs, do you?

- That was a long run.
- Yeah, uh, I'll get a shower.

Oh, Christina called again.

- Well, how is he?
- Asleep.

I don't think
it's drugs, Graham.

Well, I don't know who these
so-called friends of his are,

but theyre no good for him.

- What are you doing?
- Whats this crap?

'Walking in the Cotswolds.,

Yeah. We have to put
some stuff in from the staff.

Are you putting something new
into the mag?

No.

- Yours?
- Thanks.

So, you fancy
eating lunch together?

Uh, I'm busy lunchtime.

Steve,

- do you like me or not?
- Yeah, of course I like you.

No. Do you like me?

Um

- You kissed me the other night.
- I kissed you?

And at the ball you said
you had your eye on someone.

Look, Jessica,
I've been meaning to talk to you

- Oh, God.
- I'm sorry. It was my fault.

How could I have been
so stupid?

Sorry, I
Something you said?

Something I'm not allowed
to say.

Did, um did you get home
all right last night?

- Not exactly.
- What happened?

- I was picked up by the police.
- And?

Well, what do you think?

They just gave me a lecture about
the park being out of bounds at night…

cause it's full of
disgusting people like us.

- Are you okay?
- Being a bit reckless, arent you?

Look, um
can we meet up again soon?

Its more difficult now. My parents
werent thrilled about last night.

Look.

Thats my mobile number.

If you can escape,
call.

Please.

All right. I suppose I can
fit you in later on in the week.

Who are you?

Answer!

Uh, is it okay
if I just pop over to Lindas?

Yeah, okay.
Dont be too late back.

- Hello, beautiful.
- You do recognize me, then.

I was talking to the car.

Hi, Johnny. Listen, I managed to sneak
out. Can you make it to the canal?

Uh, tonights not convenient.
I'm busy.

Convenient?
Johnny, I'm-I'm—

Hang on a minute.
Youre breaking up.

Wh-Whats so important
you cant see me?

Um, Steve, I'm, uh
I'm training.

- When do you think youll finish?
- I don't know. I've gotta go.

John. Johnny.

Sorry.
We wont be disturbed again.

I'll see you soon.

- Ring me when you get back.
- See ya.

Steve?

- Steve! Steve, wait!
-Just get out of my life.

'Training'? What for?

- You lied to me.
- Steve, will you just

- You lied to me!
- Steve!

Steve, I-I havent even spoken
to Christina since the ball.

Honestly.
But don't you see?

If I see her from time to time, then no
one will suspect that you and me are

- Oh, so you're just using her.
- Yeah! No, I mean I

If she means nothing to you why didnt
you tell me you were seeing her tonight?

It cant work, John.
I cant stand it.

Okay.
You want the truth, right?

I wanted to see Christina
tonight.

Great.
So now I know.

Just listen, will you?

You don't know!

You don't know
what it's like… being me.

-John.
- I went out with Christina because…

I needed to feel good about…

myself.

- And did you?
- All I felt

all I felt was that I was
going through the motions

holding her, kissing her,

hoping wed drive past
Kevin and the gang…

so they can see me with
the most beautiful girl in town.

And she is.
Shes really

I like her.

I really like her.

Do you
do you love her?

Steven, I love you.

H-How do I know that?

Well, if will make you feel better,
I wont see Christina anymore.

Oh, Johnny,

don't you see
thats not enough?

I want to make you feel good about
yourself. I want you to be proud of us.

But you're not!

Youre ashamed to be seen with me. You
don't want people to know were friends!

God, when other people are around,
you don't even want to talk to me!

- I will.
- Liar.

I will! J-Just one more chance.
I'll prove I love you.

Please.

You need a shave.

I shaved last month.

♪ I wanna be Bobbys girl ♪

♪ I wanna be
Bobbys girl ♪

♪ I wanna be
Bobbys girl ♪

Blimey.

- Thought you had a driving lesson.
- I have.

Hello.

Where's Bob?

Youve just got to
give him time.

Hell come round.

He's probably scared
of commitment and stuff.

He's a bastard.

A married bastard.

A married bastard with kids.

God, Lins.
I'm so sorry.

Dont feel sorry for me.

So, Julie

You don't mind
if I call you Julie, do you?

Hop in.

You all right?

- Its at half past 5:00 tonight.
- I don't think I can make it.

Your friends bring them, definitely.
Hi, Steve.

Hi.

Got some good news. I'll meet you
at the top gates at lunchtime.

These are the two, um, designs for the

Fuck me.

- Sorry, Mark?
- Sorry, sir. Listen to this.

'Get Real. Anonymous. I am a pupil
at this school, I am 1 6 and I am gay.,

Bloody hell!

'Someone once wrote
that ones real life…

is so often the life
that one does not lead.

I wish I could lead
my real life.

I am writing this article
because I'm angry,

and because I want to impress
on all of you parents…

that your assumption that
your children are heterosexual…

may be causing them pain.,

Arent there
two Ss in 'assumption'?

- Let me see this.
- We cant print this.

Why not? It sounds great! Itll
give people something to talk about.

Yeah, and it's a lot more interesting
than 'Walking in the Cotswolds',

or whatever it could replace.

- Didnt you authorize this, sir?
- No. No, I didnt.

Someone in this room did.
Were the only ones with the password.

I did. It was handed in anonymously,
and I thought it was well-written…

and thought-provoking.

It certainly is.

Look, I'll read it, but I'll have
to talk to the Head about this.

- Can you print it out for me, Mark?
- Sure.

- Why didnt you just tell me?
- Yeah, right.

You couldve.
I told you… stuff.

Yeah, I know.

I wanted to, especially
when I realized that

But I was protecting
someone else.

He's a lucky guy,
whoever he is.

So am I.

Hang on. You said it was
someone at the ball.

So hes at this school.

Oh, wow.
Who is it?

Tell me. Go on.
I wont tell a soul, I promise.

Its not Mark?

- Oh, Wendyll be
- Its not Mark.

Yeah, well, I was right about one thing:
You are different from other blokes.

- Shit! Bloody fascist.
- What?

Alcock wont let us print
that gay article.

Something about this sort of thing
having no place in a decent school.

He's such a bloody fascist!

'Disgusted at Basingstoke,
strikes again.

Well, thats it.
Theres nothing we can do.

There is.

We can print an empty page with the word
'Censored, running across it.

We owe that much to the poor bugger
who wrote it, don't we?

Oh, I'm sure the poor bugger
will be delighted.

Uh, no.
I'll catch you later.

- Guess what.
- Youre pregnant.

No. My parents are going away for
the whole weekend. Well, how bout it?

Ooh, I'll have to
think about it.

♪ When you're lyin
on your back in a field ♪

♪ When you're sinkin
in the bluegrass ♪

♪ And it feels
so incredibly real ♪

♪ And a minute is
a day passed ♪

♪ Lets get up early
head for the sun ♪

♪ Just me and you
my beautiful one ♪

Fuck! You bastard! You bastard!

And it's the magnificent Dixon
out in front by a mile!

- Dixon wins again!
- Well see about that.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Oh!

Hi, boss.

Oh, hi, Kev.

Um,

I was just going jogging,
thought you might want to come.

Sorry, mate. Carter and me are
having a swim. Join us if you like.

Oh, no.
I'll finish me run.

- Catch ya later.
- All right, mate.

- I cant believe you asked him in.
- Its all right. He cant swim!

He cant swim?

To us.

Do you think I could persuade my parents
to go and live somewhere else?

What do you want to move
out of here for?

No, pillock.
Id stay here.

You could come
and live with me.

I don't think I could
do that, Johnny.

- Why?
- Its just

The wallpaper in the sitting room
really clashes with the carpet.

Come here.

Will you stop worrying?

Whos worrying?

Youve hardly
said a word all weekend.

Sorry.

Youre the one who says
I'm too hard on him.

If hes made a mate of this
John whats-his-name,

I'm all for it.

- He's going to Oxford, you know.
- So he said.

Graham

- I'm back.
- Hello.

- Good time?
- Yeah, we had a wicked time.

Good.

- You were fantastic!
- Steve.

I tried to find you before the race.
Whats going on?

The whole schools talking about that
censored page in the magazine.

Oh, that.

People are saying
it was about being gay.

- Was it?
- Um

- You wrote it, didnt you?
- I thought it might have been you.

I cant believe youve done this.
Dont you see?

People know were mates now. Does
anyone know you wrote that article?

- I think Jessica might have guessed.
- Oh, shit!

Just to confirm the winner
of the senior boys, 100 metres,

it was John Dixon.

I guess we should sell
some more magazines.

- Its him, isn't it?
- What?

You know what I mean.
The one you're protecting

it's John, isn't it?

-John-fucking-Superman Dixon.
-Jess

- Hi, Steve.
- Uh, hi.

- This is my mum and dad. Jess.
- Hello, Jess.

-Hello.
-Hi. Can I interest you in a magazine?

- Oh, yes, please.
- Steves winning masterpiece is in it.

- There you are. A pound.
- Thank you. All right.

I better go see if I can sell
some more of these.

Okay.

I'll be back in a minute.

-Jess, please!
- So thats why he dumped Christina.

-Jess, please. Youll ruin everything.
- I'm not gonna say anything.

I promise. But you have to be
more discreet.

People arent stupid.

The final event of the day,

the senior four by 100 metre relay,
will begin in five minutes.

- Oh, John.
- Hi, Dad.

-Just a quick word.
- Yeah, sure.

I wanted to ask you
whos Steven Carter?

What? Why?

Well, these photos of you
theyre fantastic.

Id really like some prints.
Is Steven here today?

No! I mean, I don't know.
I don't know him.

Well, you must know him
if he took these photos.

- I cant remember. It was ages ago.
- Raymond, I found him.

- Steven, this is Johns father.
- Pleased to meet you.

Stevens been saying lovely things
about the house.

- Our house?
- He stayed the weekend with John.

-Ah, there you are, Steven.
- Hello. We thought wed lost you.

-Sorry.
-Id better go. I've got a race to run.

- Uh, John, this is my mum and dad.
-John.

Uh, this is
Mr. and Mrs. Dixon.

- Well, were not exactly mates.
- But you came to our house.

Uh, yeah, just to give John
a book hed lent me.

But you said you were
with John all weekend.

- Oh, Graham
- On your marks!

- Hang on. Theyre starting.
- Set!

Why not wait for the baton, Dixon?

Shit.

- Whats happened to him?
- He said hed meet us here.

Whats she staring at?

Maybe shes not happy about our son
using her son as an alibi.

- How do you know Johns not the liar?
- Stevens hiding something.

Graham, can we go and sit
in the car for a moment?

Why?

Cause I've got
something to tell you.

I was so fucking embarrassed.

Why did you tell your parents
you were at my place?

Because I thought we were going to be
honest about being friends.

Dont worry.

If anything, theyve all decided
I'm the one whos lying.

And why did you write
that bloody article?

If Jessicas guessed
then everyonell know soon.

Johnny,
we can get round this.

No, not if it means
everyone finding out.

He's our son, Graham.
He needs our support.

- Have you seen Steven?
- Oh, sorry. No.

Cant let him be late
for his award.

- Maybe hes inside.
- Yeah.

Uh, you must be
very proud of him.

Where are you going?

I'm going to go and watch
our son get an award.

- Look, can we just
- Steven, mate, I

- I'm not your mate.
- Well, what are you then?

I thought I was your

It doesnt matter.

Well be late for the awards.

Johnny, your bag.

Bastard.

Fucking bastard.

I love you, you bastard.

What the fuck?

Why are you
going through Johns stuff?

- Probably getting a cheap thrill.
- That right, is it, Carter?

You really are queer.

Well, Johnnys our mate,
and hes not queer, right?

Say it: Johnnys not queer.
Say it!

You two found my bag, or

-Whats going on?
-This little queer ripped up your shirt.

He's in love with you.
Thats right, isn't it?

-Johnny, I
- What the fuck is this?

Wait outside.

- Johnny, I
- Shut it!

Bloody hell.

Shit!

Johnny, Huttons—

You queer bastard!

For continuous sporting
achievement throughout the year,

this cup goes to John Dixon!

Um, thanks.

Thank you very much.

Now, a special moment.

Some of you will already know
that one of our pupils, Steven Carter,

has won The Basingstoke Recorder
Young Journalist Competition.

Were delighted to welcome Roger
McGregor, editor of The Recorder,

to give the prize.

- Where's Steve?
- I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen, a young man were
all very proud to have at this school,

Steven Carter.

Um, Steven doesnt appear
to be here yet.

So, perhaps I could ask Mr. McGregor
to tell us a bit about the competition.

Ah, the wanderer returns.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Steven Carter.

I-I'm very proud
I-I'm very grateful to have…

won for the schooI.

But I, uh

I feel a bit of a fraud.

You see, I-I wrote about…

growing up as I imagined
it must be for most of you,

but there was another article
which was to have been…

included in the school magazine,
but it was, um,

censored because it was about
a young guy who just happened to be…

gay.

I-I wrote that article.

I wish you could have read it
so you could understand.

This is so difficult.

I'm sick of feeling
totally alone.

I want to have friends who-who-who
like me for who I am.

I want to be part of a family
who love me for who I am and not

not someone I pretend to be
to keep their love.

I'm sick of hiding,

of being sad and…
scared.

Have you any idea?

There must be more of you
who feel like this

like I do
frightened to speak out.

Yeah, well,

thanks for proving my point.

I'm-I'm gay.

Sorry, Mum,

Dad,

but you can bet your life you're not the
only parents out there with a gay son.

Its only love.

Whats everyone
so scared of?

Thanks for listening.

I didnt know you were
such a drama queen.

Ow. I still cant believe
I did it.

- My mum says shes known for a while.
-John must be shitting himself.

I saw him running off towards the sports
field white as a sheet.

Werent you listening
in there, Jess? Careful

you don't know what
you might catch.

Forget him. He's a

What? Poof, queer, faggot?
Anything else you can think of?

I'll tell you
what else he is.

He's my son,
and I'm very proud of him.

And if you do anything
to hurt him,

I'll have your bollocks
for earrings.

Steve, I've got
a bit of a surprise for you.

Its not quite as big a deal as you
telling the whole world you're gay,

- but it's a surprise anyway.
- Tell me later.

I know.
Why don't I tell you later?

- Where's Dad?
- He's waiting in the car.

You stay here with your mates.
I'll… I'll talk to him.

Hell be fine.

- Mum, I…
- I know, love.

I love you too.

Mum, you're embarrassing me.

Dont be too late.

Yeah.

God, no one followed you,
did they?

No.

I'm… so sorry.
I

I cant believe I

You must hate me for

Weve had
more romantic moments.

Strange thing is,

after Id…

done that to you,

all I could
think of doing was…

holding you…

to make it all right.

And I knew

I really knew

that Id never loved anyone
so much.

Johnny, you do realize
what I just did in there?

Be happy.

♪ You better think ♪

♪ Think about what you're
tryin to do to me ♪

♪ Think, let your mind go
Let yourself be free ♪

♪ Lets go back, lets go back
Lets go way on way back when ♪

♪ I didnt even know you, you couldnt
have been too much more than ten ♪

♪I aint no psychiatrist?

- ♪ Aint no doctor with degree ♪
- Ta da!

I don't believe it! I thought you said
it wasnt as big a surprise as me tell

Shut your face.
Fancy a drive?

♪ Think about what you're
tryin to do to me?

♪ Yeah, think?

♪ Let your mind go
Let yourself be free ♪

♪ Oh, freedom ♪

♪Freedom
Oh, freedom ♪

♪ Yeah, freedom ♪

♪ Got to have freedom ♪

♪ Oh, freedom ♪

♪ Need me some freedom ♪

♪ Oh, freedom
Got to have ♪

♪ Hey, think about it
You think about it ♪

♪ There aint nothin you could ask,
I could answer you but I wont ♪

♪ But I was gonna change that but I'm
not if you keep doin things I don't ♪

♪ You better think ♪

♪ Think about what you're
tryin to do to me ♪

♪ Whoa-oa-oa, think ♪

♪ Let your mind go
Let yourself be free ♪

♪ People walkin around everyday,
playin games and takin scores ♪

♪ Tryin to make other people
lose their minds ♪

♪ Well, be careful you don't lose yours
Oh, think ♪

♪ Think about what you're
tryin to do to me ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-oo, think ♪

♪ Let your mind go
Let yourself be free ♪

♪ You need me
and I need you ♪

♪ Without each other there aint
nothin either can do ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪ Think about it ♪
- ♪ What you're tryin to do to me ♪

♪ Think about it, baby
Think about it right now ♪

♪ Yeah, right now ♪