Gentlemen with Guns (1946) - full transcript

Grab a bucket, fuzz,
I'll help you!

Hey! Wait a minute!

Can't a man
burn a pan
of biscuits

without getting
himself drowned?

Biscuits? I thought
the house was on fire!

How can you think
without a brain?

I'm sorry I was
a little hasty
with the water,

but your letter said
that you were in trouble--

I thought they were
trying to burn you out!

Some people are so dumb
they can't tell
the difference

between a house on fire
and a pan of burnt biscuits.



You can't hold it
against a man

just because
he doesn't
know any better.

I guess that's why
I wasted so much time

getting you
out of trouble--

trouble no intelligent person
would have ever gotten into.

Okay, what is it
this time?

It ain't no fault of mine.

Sit down,
I'll tell you.

I own a valuable water right,

and there's a lot of
good farmland on my ranch.

So I got the idea
of selling off
this farmland

to families who want to
move in and make homes
for themselves.

I admire you
feeling that way,

but how does that
spell trouble?



Well, McAllister
owns a big outfit,

and he wants
everything in sight.

He wants my water right,
and he's dead set

against having any settlers
locate in the valley.

So what?

Tell him you don't want to
sell him your water right,

and what you do is
none of his business.

I know, but...

Somethin' always
happens to folks

that talk to McAllister
that way.

Well, you go right ahead
with your plans,

he can't scare US.

You're mighty reckless
with my life.

Come on, help me
get this place
cleaned up.

I won't be
living like this
much longer.

I'm gettin' married.

( Plate breaking )

You're what?!

Why not?

I've got a right
to get married,
ain't I?

Sure.

Sure, but where you
gonna find a woman

crazy enough to marry
an old goat like you?

Ha! That's what
you think.

Listen to this.

"Dear fuzzy, my big,
gorgeous man--"

and she means me--

"I am sure you are the answer
to my maiden's prayer..."

Do you mean to tell me
that any woman

would pray for
anything like you?

Well, that's what she says,
right here in the letter.

Yeah? Where'd
you meet her?

I ain't met her yet,
but, ah,

I told her
what I was like.

You haven't even
met the lady?

No, but she told me
what she's like.

See, I joined the lonesome heart
matrimonial club,

and that's how come
we started writin' each other.

Ha ha ha!

Ha ha! Oh, fuzz.

Go ahead and laugh
yer fool head off.

Fuzzy:
She's comin' out here
to marry me,

and we're gonna have
our own little love nest.

She signs herself,
here...

"Your devoted Matilda boggs."

Fuzz, you've got
your neck out a mile.

You've never even
seen this lady.

If she's taking
as much Liberty

in describing herself
as you must have,

you don't know what kind
of a package you'll get.

You don't seem
to understand

that I mean
what I say.

You need
some educatin'.

That seems to be
the end of the first lesson,

drop by when you can
give US another.

You'll get to last you
the rest of your life--

which won't be long.

Come on.

That's Jim McAllister.

Yeah? Nice neighbor.

If I had my choice between
him and a rattlesnake,

I'd take the snake.

Why don't you
put that thing away.

Haven't you got
enough trouble

without going romantic?

It ain't no trouble,
it's easy.
Easy?

I write to her,
she writes to me,
we get married.

What's your
next move, boss?

I don't know yet.

Who is that
other fella?

I never saw him before.

I've heard fuzzy Jones
speak about his friend
Billy Carson--

that could be him.

Whoever he is,
he'll wish

he hadn't horned in
to this party.

Yeah.

I may be wrong,
but I'd be willing to bet

fuzzy Jones has been
rustling my cattle.

I sent one of my boys over
to scout his ranch.

Howdy.
Howdy.

I hear you're selling
some farmland.

You don't look like
no farmer to me.

Do I have to
look like a farmer

before I can
buy a farm?

Well, I guess not,

we're not running
a beauty contest.

There's a piece of property
over here

I'd like to
talk to you about.

Let's have a look.

Well, this is what
I was tellin' you about.

You want to buy
this land to farm?

If I'm crazy enough to buy it,
you shouldn't worry.

Somethin' fishy
about it.

( Gunshot )

He's dead,
shot through
the heart.

And that's
the murderer.

I didn't shoot him,
it was someone else.

You expect US
to believe that?

There's his gun,
sheriff.

He was one of
my best boys,

the one I said
was scouting
this range.

There's been one shot
fired from that gun.

I ain't fired no shot!

How do you explain
a spent shell?

Let's take him in,
sheriff.

I'll send someone
for his body.

Get on that horse.

Sheriff, somebody else
fired that shot,

you gotta look around--

get on that horse
before I bend this
over your head!

All right, you can
come to life now.

Well, it's about time,
I've been lying with ants.

They sure went for
that ketchup on my shirt.

Ha ha ha!

You're a pretty good actor,

I like to knock myself out
watching you die.

It ain't funny to me.

I gotta play dead
till they hang that guy.

Let's get out of here.

Hey, fuzz...

What's wrong?

Plenty.

I was just talkin'
to a fella,

and boom!
Somebody shot him.

Yeah? Who fired the shot?

I don't know.

The sheriff and McAllister
happened along just then,

and they claim
I done it.

Funny they just
happened along
at that time.

Seems like McAllister's
having the sheriff
play his game.

You watch your step,
young feller.

I don't like
that kind of talk--
get in there.

Be smart--
hit the road.

You'll do yourself no good
hanging around this valley.

Maybe I can give you
an argument on that.

I don't argue--
when I say something,
that's it.

Fuzzy:
Billy!

What am I gonna do?

I didn't kill that fella,
but they'll hang me for it,

sure as I'm a foot high.

Don't worry, I'll get you
out of this somehow.

Even if they don't hang me,
my rights will go to pot

while they got me
locked up in here.

Don't worry about a thing,
I'll look after everything.

Hee-yah!

Do you suppose that's
miss Matilda boggs?

Golly gee, I wouldn't want her
to know I'm in jail.

If is is, fuzz,
I'll cover up for you.

Don't forget
she's my girl.

I beg your pardon,
are you miss Matilda boggs?

Fuzzy! Oh, you great,
big, wonderful man!

I beg your pardon, miss,
but I'm not fuzzy Jones.

You're not?

No ma'am.

What a pity.

Where is my fuzzy?

Well, you might say that

he's all wrapped up in
some important business.

You might even call it
a matter of life and death.

I see.

I'd better run you
out to fuzzy's place.

You can make your home there,
and when fuzzy gets back,

you two can get on
with your wedding.

Anything you say
is all right with me...

And I mean all right.

I don't want to make
a nuisance of myself,

but I do hope you'll be able
to spare a little time,

to keep me from feeling lonely
till fuzzy returns.

I'll get the buckboard.

Hey, sheriff!

I gotta get out of here,
you can't do this to me!

Shut yer trap
before I come in there
and shut it for ya.

But I gotta get out,
it's important!

Maybe the man you killed

felt it was important
to keep on livin'.

Aw, I didn't
kill nobody.
Shut up.

Hey, sheriff!
Sheriff! Hey!

Hello, sheriff!
Hello! Hello!

Oh! Oh! Oh!
Ah! Ah! Ah!

What's the matter
with you?!

My stomach's poisoned!

( Fuzzy ranting )

Let me outta here!

Come back here!
I'll break every bone
in yer body!

Fuzzy's a luck man,
you're a fine cook.

I'm glad you
enjoyed it.

Yeah, that was
a great meal.

Well, I guess
I'd better be
moseying along.

Don't be in a hurry--
have another cup of coffee.

I just saw
a horrible-looking face
peeking in the window.

Yeah?

Act as if
nothing's happened.

Wow, that's hot!

I guess we'd better
let it cool off.

Fuzz! What are you
doing here?

Uh, don't you remember?

I live here.

I know that,
but I thought
that you were--

are you
fuzzy Jones?

Yes'm, ma'am,
that's me,
fuzzy q. Jones,

and I'm awfully sorry
I wasn't on hand
when you arrived.

Let me get this straight.

Was that, uh, business
of yours all taken care of?

Not exactly,
I sort of
left it unfinished.

That may have
been a mistake.

I'm not stupid--
what's this double-talk
all about?

I have a right to know
what I'm walking into.

Uh, yes, ma'am,
I guess you have.

They're trying to hang fuzzy
for a murder he didn't commit.

Who do you mean
by "they"?

I don't know for sure,

but I'll gamble that
Jim McAllister has
a finger in the pie.

Who is Jim McAllister?

He's somethin' that
oughtta have been buried
a long time ago.

He thinks he can
run the valley

and make me sell out
whether I want to or not.

I see.

We should stop by
and take a look at
the Jones place.

He wouldn't be fool enough
to hide out at home.

I don't know
about that--

I hear a good lookin' gal
was askin' for him
this morning.

That might be worth
lookin' into.

That might be
just the thing

that'd keep him
hanging around.

Fuzz, you can't be
hanging around here.

The sheriff'll be
turning over every rock
looking for you.

You seem to be
might anxious
to get rid of me.

Don't be foolish.

I'd be glad to see you
stay out of jail.

Is that what
I came out here
to marry?

Well, he's not
very good lookin', miss,

and he isn't
over-educated,

but he's got
a heart of gold.

What's the cash value
of a heart of gold?

Ha ha! I like a gal
with a sense of humor.

Don't you worry,
I'll get out of this

and we'll have
our little love nest.

Fuzz, there's the sheriff!
Get going, quick!

No, take my horse,
he's fresh. Go on!

( Banging on door )

Let me do the talkin'.

Yeah, what do you want?

We're lookin'
for fuzzy Jones.

He's not here.

We'll make sure of that.

He's gettin' away!

We had fun,
didn't we?

It won't be fun
from here on out.

If you're smart,
you'll get out
of this valley.

I hope fuzzy makes it--
I think he will.

Was that McAllister?

Yeah, that's him.

Plays kinda rough.

Looks like
we've lost him.

Not for long.

Nice lookin' girl
back there.

Yeah.

You and fuzzy are
pretty good friends,
aren't you?

Yes, ma'am,
the best.

He's no beauty,
but he's all right.

You could do a lot worse
than tie up with old fuzz.

I'm not looking
for the worst.

I guess I better
stick around,

keep an eye on the place
till fuzzy gets back.

I can bunk out there
in the barn.

I'll be glad to
have you nearby.

I feel nervous here
all alone.

You've got nothing
to worry about--
good night.

Good night.

( Whistles )

( Whistles again )

( Whistles )

Hey, Billy!

Over here!

Boy, am I glad
to see you--

did you bring me
something to eat?

Sure, fuzz,
help yourself.

Where's my horse?

Over there by the rocks.

Back up, you're in
my lunch bucket.

Fuzz, you better
stay put up here
in the hills.

McAllister knows the truth
about that killing--

I'll get it
out of him somehow.

( Mumbling )

Eat or talk--

don't try to do 'em both
at the same time.

But I'm yearning
for Matilda.

You are, huh?

Well, she'll keep.

You have no time for romance

until you get your neck
out of danger.

( Gunshot )

You work for McAllister--
I want some information.

I'm ain't tellin' ya nothin'.

You'll tell me how
McAllister framed fuzzy

or I'll beat your head off.

Start talkin'!

I don't know
anything about it!

Maybe this'll help.

What's goin' on here?

I found fuzzy Jones
and he helped him
get away.

Tryin' hard
to get yourself
into trouble.

But he isn't guilty.

We'll let
the courts
decide that.

You ain't careful,

you'll find yourself
in jail with him.

Get your horse,

well try and catch up
with him.

I'm getting sick and tired
of hiding out in here,

waiting till they
catch that guy
and hang him.

No telling how long it'll be.

A guy might just as well
be in jail.

What are you kicking about?

You're getting paid
for doing nothing.

Maybe so, but it gets
pretty monotonous.

I wish you'd picked out
somebody else to get killed.

Oh, boss.

We got company.

And she's pretty, too.

Keep out of sight.

This is a fine time
to ask a guy to play dead.

You won't be playing
if you don't do what I say.

( Knocking )

Come in.

Are you Mr. McAllister?

At your service.

I'm Matilda boggs.

You don't look like
the kind of girl

whose name would be
Matilda boggs.

That's my real name--

I use a different one
on stage.

It begins to make sense.

Won't you sit down?

Thank you.

Why did you come here?

I've an idea we can be
of some help to each other.

In what way?

You want fuzzy's ranch,
I want money.

You're plenty
cold-blooded
about it.

You have to be cold-blooded
or be a sucker.

I'm always willing to pay
for what I want--plenty.

You came out here
to marry him?

Sure, and that was
a good joke on me.

I got fed up with
the life of an actress

and thought i'd
grab me a husband
and settle down.

I wouldn't marry
any of the trash

I met hanging around
the theater,

so I fell for an ad
in the matrimonial paper.

He made it sound pretty--
wonderful ranch,

a big, handsome husband
just oozing love and devotion.

He really gave you
a song and dance.

You know what I got.

He double-crossed me,
and I don't feel like

coming out here
just for the ride.

I think we can do business.

When we catch fuzzy,
he'll be hung for murder.

You've got to figure
some way to marry him,

and then turn him over
to the sheriff.

I think that can be managed.

As his widow,
you'll own the property.

Then we'll make a deal.

I'll be seeing you.

Keep away from here
until you're a widow.

Don't want Carson
to get suspicious.

Carson is my idea
of what I thought
fuzzy would be.

But don't worry--

I never let sentiment
interfere with business.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Oh, boy.

Ain't she a knockout?

Whew!

You dumb idiot!

When I tell you
to keep out of sight,
I mean it!

She might be on the level,
but I'm not taking any chances.

She might have come over here
just to spy on US.

( Knocking )

Hello.

( Disappointed: )
Hello.

Yes?

Hi. I saw you over at
Jim McAllister's.

I thought I'd like to
get a little bit
better acquainted.

Well, i-I'm busy now,
maybe some other time.

Your crazy for
coming back here,

and I was a fool
to bring you that note.

When Matilda sends for me,
I'll go through fire and water.

You're liable to get
your whiskers singed
and your feet wet.

Stay here until I see
whether the coast is clear.

I heard you were looking
for a high-class husband,

and you and I could buy
a pretty swell little ranch

with the money we're gonna
get off of Jim.

And wasn't it wonderful

that you just happen
to be available.

Yeah.

It's Carson,
he mustn't see you here.

Go out that way.

Where's fuzzy?
Couldn't you find him?

Yeah, I found him.

I don't like the idea
of him coming back here.

I didn't hear anyone
ask your opinion.

Billy, I seen a ghost!

The man they said I killed,

I seen him just
as plain as I see you!

Don't be silly, you--

you didn't see any ghost...

Who was here, Matilda?

There was no one here,
he must have seen a ghost.

He must have
seen a ghost, eh?

I'd like to
run into that ghost.

I'm goin' out and see
if I can find him.

I can stand up
to anything human,

but that ghost
scared the pants
off of me.

You've got something
more important

than a ghost
to worry about.

Yeah, what?

Your friend, Billy.

What about Billy?

He doesn't want me
to marry you.

You mean--

I hate to say anything
about your friend,

but I think we should
get married right away.

Fine friend
he turned out to be.

I never thought he'd
cut the ground out
from under my feet.

I couldn't find him--
he got away.

Something else has been
bothering me, Matilda.

What were you doing at
the McAllister ranch?

I was never there.

No? I saw you riding
from that direction.

That doesn't mean anything.

You've gone far enough,
I won't have you
doubting Matilda's word!

And I never thought you'd pull
a dirty trick on me.

Are you crazy?

I may have been,
but I'm not now.

Get goin'.

Maybe you know
what he's talking about.

You know as well
as I do.

( Knocking )

Hello, judge.

Hello, Billy.

What are you
doing out here?

I got a message
from miss boggs
asking me to come.

Said it was
very important.

Who delivered
the message?

Ned Cassidy--
McAllister's foreman.

He was just
a passing cowboy--

I didn't know
who he was.

Fuzzy and I want you
to marry US.

Don't you know that
fuzzy's an outlaw?

That doesn't make
any difference to me.

Hi, judge.

You're supposed
to be in jail.

I know, but I'm thinking on
getting married--

that's the same as
being in jail.

Ha ha!
Ha ha!

Stop dilly-dallying around
and start the marriage,

I ain't got long
to linger around here.

All right, I ain't had
a marryin' job
in a long time.

I hope the sheriff
don't interrupt
the ceremony.

Grab her hand.

Now, fuzz, don't you
be in a hurry.

You won't stand
for that, will you?

Yer darn tootin',
I won't.

You're not welcome here--
get out and stay out!

Fuzz, I really
hate to do this.

I'm sorry, judge,

but there's too many lies
tied up with this marriage.

I'm gonna get the straight of it
before it goes any further.

You won't get away
with this strong-arm stuff.

You can't stop me
from marrying fuzzy,

and I'll make you sorry
you ever tried.

Why don't you try to be
a nice girl?

Both of you sit down--

I'm gonna make sure
you stay put for a while.

Over there.

I can keep you
from getting hung,

but I can't keep you
from making a fool of yourself.

So I guess jail's
the only safe place for you.

Well, welcome home.

I'll get even with you
for this, Billy Carson.

You'll thank me
for it someday, fuzz.

Go on, get in there.

The sheriff got fuzzy,
I saw 'em at the jail.

Good. The plan must have
worked out all right.

I'll start the ball rolling.

I'm glad the sheriff
caught that murderer.

Ed slane was a good boy.

Fuzzy Jones murdered him
in cold blood.

I'm in favor of seeing that
he doesn't get away again.

( Crowd murmurs agreement )

Sheriff:
I'll bet you
stay put this time.

Billy:
You're so stubborn,
you won't listen to reason.

Why didn't you just
take a shot at me?

Then I wouldn't have to
stand around

thinking about
you doing this to me.

You've got it all wrong.

I'm just trying to stop you
from making a foolish mistake.

Something's wrong about you
being rushed into that marriage,

this was the only way
I could stop it.

Don't tell me them lies.

Go away and leave me alone.

I'm sorry you
feel that way...

Maybe some day
you'll understand.

No one's more in favor
of law and order than I am,

even a murderer is entitled
to a fair trial.

But when you got a sheriff
that can't keep him in jail,

something should be done.

If he breaks out again,
we may never get him!

Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.

Best break I ever had
in my life.

And that dumb cowboy
has to come along

and throw in
a monkey wrench.

Well, he won't stop me
from cashing in,

and I'll make him sorry
he ever tried.

Must be disappointin'
to have a wedding end like this.

Don't just sit there--
try to get free and help me.

Why wear myself out
getting nowhere?

The only thing
that's bothering me

is this pesky fly that
wants to sit on my nose.

I wouldn't mind
if he just set,

but he wants to keep
walking around all the time.

Up on your feet!

Say...

From fuzzy's description,

you look like the man
he supposedly killed.

Suppose I am a--

oh, you don't know what
you're talking about.

No? You're
the livest-looking
corpse I ever saw.

What do you mean?

You heard what I said.

You're out of your mind.

Suppose I am.

Let's take a ride to town
and let fuzzy have a look.

I'm not going anyplace
with you,

and the best thing you can do
is get off of this ranch!

Ed wasn't killed in a fight,
he was murdered.

I suspected that fuzzy Jones
was rustling my cattle,

so I sent ed over
to investigate.

That was the last time
I ever saw him alive.

Ed was a friend of mine,
and I'm gonna see to it

that his murderer
gets what's comin' to him.

All:
Yeah!

Have you changed your mind
about a trip to town?

You'll with you never
got mixed up in this.

You could be wrong--
get on your horse!

Whoa, sheriff!

Oh! Sheriff! Sheriff!

Sheriff!

What do you want?

Give me a gun,
we're gonna
have trouble.

I ain't fallin' for
no more of your tricks.

Just look out
in the street!

Oh...

Hey, sheriff!

That's far enough!

Man:
Be smart, sheriff,
nobody wants to hurt you.

Somebody'll get hurt
if you try to take
a prisoner out of my jail.

You let that murderer
escape once before--

we're making sure
it don't happen again.

There'll be no mob law
in this town while I'm sheriff.

He'll get a fair trial,
and if he's found guilty,
he'll hang.

Some of you people
down in that crowd
I call my friends,

but I'll blast the first one
that tries to rush this door.

Be smart--I'm tellin' ya
in the name of the law,

go on about your business.

Some of you men
take care of him,

the rest of you,
come with me!

Take him out!

So help me,
I'll never
talk to you again!

Come on, men!

Get down off that horse.

Say, that's the fella
they said I killed.

He ain't much alive,
and he ain't dead, either.

Fuzz, there's your ghost.
Untie the sheriff.

Sheriff,
lock these two men up.

I'll think of some charge
to bring against 'em.

McAllister framed this thing
to get fuzzy hung for murder.

McAllister did that to me?

That's right.

Stand back, boys--
he's my meat.

Sheriff:
Get in there,
you two.

Well, that's the end
of fuzzy Jones.

Nice of everybody
to be so obliging.

What are you doing here?
You're supposed to be--

I came here
to pay you off.

( All laughing )

You all right?

Hold it!

Next time you want to
hang somebody,

be sure you know
what you're doing.

Now belly up to the bar,
the drinks are on me.

( All cheering )

Billy, i-i...

I know what
you're trying to say.

Forget it.

Hey, that-that's Matilda.

Matilda!
Where you going?

Home.

You're not
gonna leave me flat?

That's not a bad idea.

Hee-yah!

That's what I call'
leavin' him flat.

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