Gentleman's Agreement (1947) - full transcript

Philip Green is a highly respected writer who is recruited by a national magazine to write a series of articles on anti-Semitism in America. He's not too keen on the series, mostly because he's not sure how to tackle the subject. Then it dawns on him: if he was to pretend to all and sundry that he was Jewish, he could then experience the degree of racism and prejudice that exists and write his story from that perspective. It takes little time for him to experience bigotry. His anger at the way he is treated also affects his relationship with Kathy Lacy, his publisher's niece and the person who suggested the series in the first place.

- Aren't you tired?
- No. There's so much of it.

Do you think we'll live
here all the time, pop?

Want to?

Sure. I like it.
Why did we always live in California?

Well, I was born there, got married
there. Just went on living there.

Did mother come
with you to New York?


I was here by myself
once for three days.

Do you still think
of her, Tommy?

Sort of. Not all the
time. Just sometimes.

- How old was I when she died, pop?
- You were four years old.

- A long time.
- Yeah.

- You ever gonna get married again?
- Oh, maybe.

You want me to?

I don't care. I
like it fine this way.

But grandma says
you're getting tougher

and tougher to have
around the house.

She does, does she?
Any more complaints from

grandma? She says
you're too picky and choosy.

- Where are we going?
- To meet grandma at saks.

Hey, pop, look at that!

- What's he supposed to be doing?
- That's atlas.

He's carrying the
world on his shoulders.

No kidding!

That's what grandma says you're

doing. She wishes
you'd leave it alone.

Oh, yeah? Looks like
I'm gonna have to slug grandma.

Hey, we're late.
Grandma's gonna slug us. Come on.

I just love waiting for
people. There's nothing

more fun than waiting
for people who are late.

We're late, ma, because I'm
carrying the world on my shoulders.

It's heavy. You can't
walk too fast. Put it

down and give me money
for your son's shoes.

Tommy, keep your mouth shut. I told pop he
was tougher to have around the house too.

- How much are shoes in New York?
- Give her ten bucks.

Wish me luck, ma. I'm
going to the magazine.

Good luck. I hope it's something
you want and not far away.

It'll be here, or minify
wouldn't have got us the apartment.

Does he always tell you what to

write? Don't you ever
think it up yourself?

Well, yeah, I think sometimes
for myself. Well, I'm late. Have fun.

- Boys' shoes?
- Fourth floor.

- Toy department, please?
- Second floor.

Smith's weekly, please?

Reception room,
sixth floor. Right in there.

- Miss, I did have an appointment.
- I'm sorry. I have no record of it.

I spoke with his secretary.
She said to come in this morning.

He'll be in himself in a half-hour.
I'll try again then.

Yes, please?

I have an appointment
with mr minify.

- Name?
- Schuyler green.

Telegram for mr Pendleton.

Through the door,
second office to the right.

Thank you.

Schuyler green to see
mr minify. Thank you.

He's expecting you.

Mr Herman will call.
Janet. For mr minify.

- Follow me, please.
- Thanks.


Miss dettrey's expecting
me. Just a moment, please.

- Mr green.
- Oh, mr green.

Mr minify's on the long distance.
He won't be long. Won't you sit down?

- Have you seen the last issue?
- No. Thank you.

- Mr green out there yet?
- Yes. Good, I'll be right out,

come in, come in.
Glad you're here, green.

This is all right now,
miss Miller. Get it off

airmail special. Glad
to see you. Come on in.

Sit down.

- Finding your way around?
- Almost.

- Good. Mother and kid like New York?
- Fine. And the apartment too.

Probably the last apartment
left in Manhattan. Meeting people?

Not yet. I'm always slow about that.

Fix that up right
away. How about

tonight at my place?
Having some people.

Thanks. Some other
time. Nonsense. I won't

ask you another time.
Here's the address.

Miss Miller, don't
disturb me for anything.

Tell mrs minify mr
green's coming to dinner.

Now, get good and comfortable.

There. Because I'm
going to talk to you...

for about an hour.

Maybe two.

I've had an idea.

- Do go into the bar, won't you?
- I'd love a Martini.


Schuyler green I
told you about. My wife.

Oh, John. I know mr green.

I've read everything he wrote. You
never stop talking. Get him a drink.

- What'll you have?
- A Martini.

Kathy, this is mr green.
My niece miss Lacey, and bill Lacey.

- How do you do?
- You better clear things up now.

Well, Kathy and bill...

They've been
divorced for two years.

Calls herself miss
Lacey and confuses

everybody. Very friendly,
civilised and dumb.

- Likes your stuff, though.
- Please sit down.

- Bill, would you?
- Way it was before ok?

Just right. I haven't
read everything

you've written, but
what I have has been...

- Thanks.
- What do people call a schuyler?
- Phil.

Good. I don't have to
say green. Too hearty,

last names. And
schuyler is impossible.

That bad?

I wouldn't call a
dog schuyler. John...!

It's my mother's name.

My middle one. I
signed my stuff "schuyler"

"green" on the college
paper at Stanford.

Sounded better to
me, I guess, than Philip.

Like somerset maugham instead of

William, sinclair
Lewis instead of Harry.

Somerset, sinclair, schuyler - all
s's. Maybe that means something.


Do you mind telling
me what you're writing?

No, not at all.

Well, I'm...
I'm not writing anything just now...

- but, uh...
- Let me tell her.

I've asked him to do
a series on anti-semitism.

Always wanted to do it.

Do I get a credit
line? You? For what?

Don't you remember, oh,
back around Christmas...

That Jewish teacher
resigning? I was...

I knew somebody was
after me. I forgot who.

John, the Jacksons are here.

Right. I always steal
ideas without realising.

That's what keeps
the magazine original!

Funny your suggesting the series.

Is it? Why?


Lots of reasons.

You make up your
mind too quickly

about people, mr
green. Women, anyway.

- I saw you do it when you sat down.
- As apparent as all that?

You cross-filed
and indexed me. A

little too well-bred,

Artificial, a trifle absurd.

- Typical New York.
- No. I didn't have time.

Yes, you did! I even
left out a few things.

Faintly irritating
upper-class manner...

over-bright voice...

All right, all right.
I give up. You win.

I'm sorry. I couldn't resist it.
Because it's only partly true.

Is this your first trip east?

No. Every other time I've
been here, though...

I've had a plane or railroad
or a boat ticket for tomorrow.

- Are you going to stay?
- I think so.

You're getting a pretty complete
story on me. Now it's your turn.

Well, you know I'm divorced.

Um, I help run a nursery school.
I'm called miss Lacey.

Do you wantjust anything?

- Just anything.
- Dinner.


No reading comics
at the table. Put it away.

Oh, let me finish.
I'm right at the end.

No making mysteries
at the table, Phil.


You haven't mentioned
your assignment.

Oh. He wants me to do
a series on anti-semitism.

- You don't sound very enthusiastic.
- I'm not.

Will he insist on your doing it?

Oh, no. He's not
that kind of an editor.

Ma, what do you do to just eggs
to make them taste this way?

Pray over them.

- Have a good time last night?
- Yeah.

You know, you need new people
as much as you need new places.

I mean, everybody does, not just you.

It was a good bunch to start on.
The funny thing: It was a girl...

minify's niece, who suggested
that series on anti-semitism.

You don't say!
Why, women'll be thinking next, Phil.

- What's anti-semitism?
- Hm? What's anti-semitism?

Oh, that's where
some people don't like

other people just
because they're Jews.

Oh. Why? Are they bad?

Some are, sure. Some aren't.
It's like everybody else.

What are Jews,
anyway? I mean exactly.

Well, remember last week when
you asked me about that church...

- and I said there were different churches?
- Yeah.

Well, the people who
go to that particular

church are called
catholics, see?

There are people who go to other

churches and they're
called protestants.

Then there are others who go to

still different ones,
and they're Jews...

only they call their churches
synagogues or temples.

And why don't some people like those?

That's kind of a tough
one to explain, Tom.

Some people hate
catholics, some hate Jews.

And no one hates us
cos we're Americans!

Well, no. No, that's...
That's another thing again.

You can be American and a catholic
or American and a protestant...

or American and a Jew.

Look, Tom. It's like this.

One thing's your
country, like America

- or France or Germany.
- All the countries.

The flag is different, the uniform
is different and the language.

And the airplanes
are marked different?

That's right.

But the other thing
is religion, like the

Jewish, catholic or
protestant religion, see?

That hasn't anything
to do with the flag

or the uniform or the
planes. You got it?

- Yup.
- Don't get mixed up on it.

- I got it.
- Some people are mixed up.


It's 8.30, Tommy.
You better get going.

Yeah, you'll be
late. Finish your milk.

Thanks, grandma. Bye.


That's all right, Phil.
You're good with him.

That kid's gonna wreck me yet!

Did you and dad go
through this with me?

Course we did.

- Are you very disappointed, Phil?
- Yes, I am.

I was almost sure he'd hand me
the stassen story. Or Washington.

I wasn't looking for
an easy one, ma. But I

did want something I
could make good on.

I'd so like the first one here to be
a natural, something they'd read.

So there's enough anti-semitism
in life without reading about it?

No. But this one's doomed
before I've started.

What could I possibly say that
hasn't been said before? I don't know.

Maybe it hasn't been
said well enough.

If it had, you wouldn't
have had to explain it

to Tommy just now,
your father and I to you.

It would be nice sometime not to have
to explain it to someone like Tommy.

Kids are so decent to start with.

- Home for lunch?
- No.

Think I'll take a walk.

You're quite a girl, ma.

You seem surprised. Why?

I didn't think you'd do it.
You've a bad poker face, Phil.

You were disappointed in the
assignment the minute I mentioned it.

- What changed your mind?
- A couple of things.

I may put my niece under contract.
Inspiration department.

No, it wasn't that. It was my kid.

I had to explain it to him this
morning. It was kind of tough.

It's really each house,
each family, that

decides it. Anyway, I
wanna do it very much.

I couldn't be more pleased.

I'll have to get some
facts and figures.


I said I'll have to
get facts and figures.

Wait a minute. Hold on.
I've got 18 hacks on this magazine...

who can do this series with

their hands full of
facts and figures.

I don't need you
for that. What do

you think I brought
you here for, facts?

Use your head. Go
right to the source. I

want some angle,
some compelling lead.

Some dramatic device
to humanise it so it gets read.

- You don't want much, just the moon!
- With parsley.

Suggestion: There's a
bigger thing to do than

to go after the crackpot
story. It's been done.

It's the wider spread that I want.

The people that'd never
go to an anti-semitic

meeting or send a
dime to Gerald lk Smith.

All right.

I'll knock it around.

Give my best to
the research department. So long.

You don't happen to
want my niece's number?

Regent 70493. We're
having dinner together.

I always like to go
right to the source.

- Fresh coffee, sir.
- Oh, thank you.

- You're a flattering listener.
- I'm interested.

No, it's more than
that. Your face takes

sides, as if you were
voting for and against.

When I told you about my longing to
have a nice home, you looked happy.

When I told you about
uncle John offering

to send me to vassar,
you looked bleak.

How'd your parents take it...

about mr minify giving
you an allowance

and pretty clothes
and all the rest?

Oh, they said they
wanted Jane, my sister,

and me to have things
that'd make us happy.

- And did they?
- Yes, I think so.

I quit being envious.

And... snobbish.

I felt right and easy.

Now you're looking all dubious again.

Oh, please, don't
think that I'm just

sitting here approving
and disapproving.

It's not that.
It's... it's just that...

Well, I...

We've certainly
covered a lot of ground.

Are you engaged to anybody now?

Or in love or anything?

Not especially.

Are you?

Not anything.


Oh, by the way...

why was your ex-husband asked up
to the minifys' when you were there?

They trying to
bring you together?

Could be. Aunt Jessie
does it every once in a while.

Did you ask me to dance?

- Oh, Phil! Miss Lacey!
- Ok.

He'll be right here.

He's still at it.

Hi! How's the big outside world?
Still there? Everybody having fun?

No, no, I'm fine.
Just wish I were dead, that's all.

Thanks. I'm in my stubborn

streak now. If it
won't budge, I won't.

Great. At the rate it's going, do you
think you'd like me with white hair?

Yeah, I think you'd
look dandy with white

hair. I'll be right
here still trying.

No, do. If you don't
call, I wonder why, so

it works out as an
interruption either way.

Well, I work myself. How many
interruptions a day do you want?

Oh, I'll thank you to
call me five or six times

a day. It's your fault
I'm in this jam anyway.

Ok. Bye.

Why not take some time off?
You've been at it for a week.

Oh, you know me, ma. I'd be
no fun for Kathy or anybody else.

I'm certainly no fun for myself.

- No ideas at all yet?
- Sure, plenty...

but they all explode in my face
after an hour. They don't stand up.

When you get the right one
a click happens inside of you.

It hasn't happened yet,
and doesn't look like it will.

I'm bored with the whole thing.

Bored with myself,
as a matter of fact.

Hey, ma, do you think I'm losing my
grip? Writers do. Maybe it's my turn.

You better not. You couldn't
make it at anything else.

Well, thanks, you can go now.
That's a big help!

Bring those things
in with you, will you?

Isn't it always tough
at the start, Phil?

Never like this.

Never. I've tried everything.

Anti-semitism in
business, professions.

It's all there, but I
can't make it give.

I've tried it separately
and together. Each time

I think I'm on the edge
of something good...

it turns into the same old drool
of statistics and protest.

It's like beating your head
against a concrete wall.

Gee, I wish Dave were here.

- Dave Goldman?
- Yeah.

He'd be the guy
to talk it over with.

Yes. Still overseas?

Yeah. Looks like he's stuck there
too. He'd be just the one, though.

Hey. Hey, ma, maybe
that's a new tack.

So far I've been
digging into facts and

evidence. I've sort
of ignored feelings.

How must a fellow
like Dave feel about this?

That's good, Phil.

Over and above
what we feel about it,

what must a Jew
feel about this thing?

Dave! Can I think my
way into Dave's mind?

He's the kind of fellow
I'd be if I were a Jew.

We grew up together,
lived in the same

kind of homes, did
everything together.

Whatever Dave feels now:
Indifference, outrage, contempt...

would be the feelings
of Dave not only as a

Jew, but the way I feel
as a man, an American.

- Is that right, ma?
- Write him a letter.

Maybe I've broken
this log jam. This is it.

Put it down like
you just said it to me.

Now what do I say?

What do I say? "Dear
Dave, how do you feel

when you hear rankin
calling people kikes?"

"Or when you hear
about Jewish kids getting

their teeth kicked out
by Jew-haters here?"

Could you write that
kind of a letter, ma?

No, that's no
good, all of it. It

wouldn't be any
good if I could write it.

There isn't any way
you can tear open the

secret heart of another
human being, ma.

Yes, I guess you're right, but there
must be some way. There must!

Hey, don't you get started. I don't
wanna depress the whole family.

You look tired. Go to bed.

One good thing came out of this

anyway. Reminded
me I owe Dave a letter.

And I'd like more sympathy now that
you see how tough it is. Sympathy? Oh, no.

I think it's worth it,
if it's any consolation.

It's mighty small, ma...

but I'm in no position to dicker.

Good night, baby.



Is it your heart? Does
it seem like the heart?


You all right? Seem any easier?


Well, I'll get a
doctor. I'll phone Kathy.

- No.
- She'll know one. Wait.


I never... realised pain
could be so... sharp.

You let me phone Kathy.
She'll know a heart man.

What time is it?

Oh, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.

Come on.

- Come back and hold my hand.
- Sure, sure.

Will she die, pop? Will she?

Well, she'll die some day, Tom.
Just like you or me or anybody.

The doctor said she might
be fine for years if she's careful.

Your grandma's not
young, Tom, and all

that packing and
unpacking tired her out.

I'll bet we can run
this place between us.


Pop, what are we...

It's scary, Tom. I know.

I was scared last
night myself, plenty.

We'll take care of
her and she might

be fine until you're
married and have kids.

That's the doctor.

Will you make breakfast
and go to school?


We'll run this place just fine.
You get going now.

I told your mother
the truth: People with

hearts outlive everyone
else, if they take care.

This may prove
to be what we call

"false angina", instead
of the true angina.

You keep her in bed for a few days... Then
we'll get her to the office and really see.

No use getting too
technical until we know.

Doctor, are you sure?

I never minimise
at a time like this.

I don't frighten,
but I don't minimise.

Right now it's
nothing to worry about.


Go ahead. I know
the way out. I'll keep

dropping in for the next
few days. Thank you.

Everything ok?

No need to look like
Hamlet. I feel great.

Well, don't crowd things.
Feel like talking?

Ever know me when I didn't?
Except last night.

Now I really believe the doctor
for the first time. Good. So do I.

Tommy get off all right?

Sure he did. Fixed
his own breakfast too.

- I'll be up tomorrow.
- You won't.

- Yes, I will.
- No, you won't.

- Get any sleep?
- Sure.

Eyes like poached eggs.

Get some sleep today.
Don't try to work, please.

Well, you don't need
to worry about that,

ma. I've decided. I'm
gonna phone minify.

There's a virtue in
knowing when you're licked.

I'm licked and I
might as well accept it.

- I decided last night.
- When?

When I was with you,
waiting for the doctor.


Well, I was scared, ma.

Like I used to be when
I'd get to wondering

what I'd do if anything
ever happened to you.

It all came back. I was a kid again
and my ma was sick. Now, Phil.

I wanted to ask
"is it awful? Are you afraid?"

But... there are some
questions nobody

can ask, and they
can't be answered.

I'll know the answer
to those two when

I feel it myself,
when I'm lying there.

And that's the way it is with the
series, ma. I can't really write it.

But you got the answers
before. Every article

you wrote, the right
answers got in somehow.

Yeah, but I didn't ask
for them. When I wanted

to find out about a
scared guy in ajalopy...

I didn't stand on
route 66 and stop

him so I could ask
a lot of questions.

I bought myself
some old clothes and a

broken-down car and
took route 66 myself.

I lived in their camps,
ate what they ate.

I found the answers in my own guts,
not somebody else's.

I didn't say "what
does it feel like to be an"

"okie?" I was an okie.
That's the difference.

On the coal-mine
series, I didn't sit in

my bedroom and do
a lot of research, did I?

I didn't go tap some poor, grimy guy
on the shoulder and make him talk.

I got myself a job. I went down
in the dark. I slept in a shack.

I didn't try to dig into
a coal miner's heart. I was a miner.



Hey, maybe...

I got it!

- A lead, the idea, the angle.
- This is the way! It's the only way.

I'll... I'll be Jewish!

I'll... well, all I gotta
do is say it. Nobody

knows me around
here. I can just say it.

I can live it myself
for six weeks,

eight weeks, no
matter how long it takes.

Ma, it's right this time!

It must be. Always is
when you're this sure.

Listen, I even got the title:
"I was Jewish for six months."

It's right, Phil.


This is it.

That clickjust happened inside of me.

It won't be the same,
sure, but it'll be close.

I can just say I am
and see what happens.

It'll work. It'll work fine, Phil.

Dark hair, dark eyes.
Sure, so has Dave.

So have a lot of guys
who aren't Jewish.

No accent, no mannerisms.
Neither has Dave.

Name: Phil green.

Skip the schuyler. Might be anything.

Phil green!

Ma, it's a cinch.

This is the best
medicine I could have had.

Will you keep my
secret if you meet

people? It has to be
without exceptions.

If you're Jewish, I am too.

Take it easy, don't get
excited. I gotta phone right away.

Why don't you have
Kathy come over here?

How'd you know I
wouldn't phone minify?


Nobody phones a magazine editor
with that look on his face.

Oh, Phil, it's
nice. It's attractive.

It's not done yet. The
packages are pictures.

- A fireplace.
- Works too.

Mine's fake. How's your mother? Dr craigie
said she'd be fine. Oh, she's all right.

- What's the angle? Tell me fast!
- I will. I'll just check up on ma.

Good. Give her my love.

- She's sleeping like a baby.
- Good. Don't worry about her.

- Let's have a drink. Some Sherry?
- All right.

You're still not telling me.

Funny. I thought I'd
spill it out immediately.

- You sounded so excited.
- I am.

Must be really something.

There'll be stumbling
blocks but I don't care.

I'll lick them...

I'll lick them when I get to them.



Phil, wait now.

You go over there and let me sit
here a minute. What is it, Kathy?


I was just thinking.

Marriage can be such
a good way to live, Kathy.

All these years I've kept hoping.

I've kept hoping too.

But when you've made
a mistake once, you're afraid.

You're not afraid now?

No, Phil.


What are you
smiling at? No secrets.

I was just thinking.

I was just playing that old game -
all women do it. Trying out the name.

Say it out loud.

Mrs schuyler green.

How does it sound?

It sounds just fine.

How does it look on me?

I like it.


you're not sorry about... Tom?

I'm glad. It's as if my
marriage hadn't been

wasted, as if I'd had a
son growing up for me.

I knew you'd get it. Can
you get away with it?

If you and Kathy
and mrs minify won't

give me away. I
haven't told Kathy yet.

I'll tell mrs minify.
When do you start?

What about now?

Fine. I'll get you an
office and a secretary.

But the secretary
would have to know.

Yeah... well, why?
Supposing I were Jewish.

What difference
would it make to her?

You're right, Phil.
I'm excited. They'll read this.

- Mr minify, mr weisman is waiting.
- Yes.

What about lunch?
Chance to meet the whole

staff. Irving weisman
is lunching with us.

- Yeah. He's the big industrialist.
- Yes. He's a colourful fellow.

Old friend of mine. I
know you'll like him.

Sorry we're late. Very sorry, Irving.

- Mr Phil green. Mr Irving weisman.
- Mr weisman.

Lew Jordan, our personnel manager.
Joe tingler, our demon photographer.

Bert mcanny, best layout man
this side of the Mexican border.

And last, as a kind of dessert,
Anne dettrey, our fashion editor.

Clever and dangerous.
Eats men alive!

Thank you. Sit down beside her.

- Isn't it schuyler green?
- That's my writing name.

Mr green will do a
series on anti-semitism.



Not again. For the first time.
We're going to split it wide open.

Do you mind my saying, as an old

friend, I think it a
very bad idea, John?

It's the most harmful
thing you can do now.

Not at all. Why
is it a harmful idea?

Because it'll only stir it up more,
that's why. Let it alone.

- We'll handle it in our way.
- The hush-hush way?

I don't care what
you call it. Let it

alone. You can't write
it out of existence.

We've fought it for years. We

know the less talk
about it, the better.

Sure. Pretend it
doesn't exist and add to

the conspiracy of
silence. I should say not.

Keep silent and let bilbo and Gerald
lk Smith do all the talking? No, sir.

Irving, you and your

committees have
gotjust exactly no place.

We're going to call a
spade a dirty spade.

I think it's high
time and a fine idea.

So do I. I couldn't agree
with mr minify more.

- You sound pretty hot about it.
- Well, I feel pretty hot about it.

And I don't think
it has anything to

do with the fact that
I'm Jewish myself.

Right office?

Mr green? Yes,
sir, this is your office.

I'm your secretary, miss wales.
Elaine wales.

How do you do?

- Mind if we get right to work?
- Not at all.

You know about
the series I'm doing?

Yes, sir.

Good. I wanna
start a file. I want you

to write form letters
to clubs, resorts...

interviews forjobs,
apartments for lease,

applications for medical
schools and so forth.

- I got a whole list here somewhere.
- Yes, sir.

Write all the letters on blank

stationery and send
two to each address.

One I wanna sign
"schuyler green" and the

other "Philip Greenberg".
See what I mean?

Yes, sir.

Have the replies sent
to my home address.

Yes, sir.

Course you know
it will be "yes" to

the Greens and "no"
to the greenbergs.

Sure, but I want it for the record.

Now, if your name
was Saul green or Irving,

you wouldn't have
to go to all this bother.

I changed mine. Did you?

Wales? No, green's
always been my name.

- What's yours?
- Walovsky. Estelle walovsky.

And I just couldn't take it.
About applications, I mean.

So one day I wrote the same firm two
letters. Same as you're doing now.

I sent the Elaine
wales one after they'd

said there were no
openings to my first one.

I got the job all right.

Do you know what firm that was?

Smith's weekly,

- no!
- Yes, mr green.

A great liberal magazine
that fights injustice on all sides.

It slays me. I love it.

Mr minify know about it?

He wouldn't bother
thinking about small fry.

That's mr Jordan's department,
hiring and firing.

But if anybody snitched,
you know there'd

be some excuse for
throwing them out.

So anyway, I thought maybe
you had changed yours sometime.

I mean, when I heard you were Jewish.

You heard it?

Why, sure.

- Is this the list?
- Yeah.


Well, when you finished luncheon

and went back to
mr minify's office...

it kind of got around.

She'll be up and about
day after tomorrow. You

wouldn't mind if I had
her see an internist?

No. I'll make an
appointment if you wish.

I use Mason Van dick or James Kent.
Or if you've someone you'd like?

One of the editors
at the magazine

recommended someone.
Dr... Dr Abrahams.


Yes. Je Abrahams, mount
sinai hospital, Beth Israel, or both.

Yes, of course. If you
decide to have your

mother see Van dick
or Kent, I'll arrange it.

Why? Isn't this
Abrahams fellow any good?

No, nothing like that. Good man.

Not given to overcharging
and stringing visits out...

the way some do.

You mean the way
some doctors do, or do

you mean the way
some Jewish doctors do?

I suppose you're right.
I suppose some of us do it too.

Not just the chosen people.

If Abrahams doesn't impress me,
I'll try Van dick or Kent.

I've no special
loyalty to Jewish

doctors simply because
I'm Jewish myself.

No, of course not.
Good man's a good man.

- I don't believe in prejudice.
- I see.

Well, uh...

good evening.

- Evening, mr green.
- Evening, mr Olsen.

Say, mr green, why
not fill out one of them

cards at the post office,
or tell the mailman?

- What's the matter with this way?
- It's the rules.

Leave that alone.

It's nothing I can
help. It's the rules.

The renting agent
should have explained.

That is, excuse
me, if you are...

Excuse me, nothing!
This is my place

for two years, and
don't touch that card.

You don't mean we're
having dinner here?

I do indeed.

- So we can talk.
- Talk, huh?

You sit there. I'm not going to
let you get going on another thing.

You don't eat until
you tell me the angle.

I've been trying to
guess it all day long.

- Have you really?
- Yes, I have.

I kept thinking
"suppose I were he and

I had to find an angle,
what would I do?"

- Well, what would you do?
- Well, I gotjust no place.

Some ideas you told
me were excellent,

but you threw them
out and kept hunting.

Now you'll see why, just
as soon as I tell you.

Phil, tell me.

All right. Here it is.

I'm gonna let everybody
know I'm Jewish.


But you're not,
Phil, are you? Not

that it would make
any difference to me.

But you said "let
everybody know"

as if you hadn't
before and would now.

So I just wondered. Not that it would
matter to me, one way or the other.

- Phil, you're annoyed.
- No. I... I was just thinking.

- Don't be so serious about it.
- You know where I stand.

Oh, I do.

It's just that you
caught me off guard.

You know, not
knowing much about you

because you make
me talk about myself...

so that for a minute there
I wasn't very bright on the uptake.

Anyway, you don't
think much of my angle?

Oh, I do.


- It's what?
- It's just that I...

I think it'll mix everybody up.
People won't know what you are.

Of course, after
the series is finished

they'll know, but it'll
keep cropping up.

All right.

Let it.

I must be out of my head.
"Let it" is right. Who cares?

I was just being too
practical about things.

That's what comes
from being a schoolteacher.

Now tell me more.

Well, to begin with,
you and the minifys'll

have to promise
not to give me away.

- No exceptions for anything. Ok?
- Ok.

- What about the people at Smith's?
- They're not in on it. Only minify.

They think you're Jewish?

Look, Kathy, I don't
think you understand.

If this is to work, the
only chance is to go

whole hog. It's got to
go through everything.

Of course.

I hadn't really seen it before.

I didn't mean to be so sharp.
I'm... I'm sorry.


Yeah, fine.

You sit there. I'm doing
the serving myself.

More coffee? Only take a
minute to heat it. No, thanks.

Oh, I... I think I'd
better be getting along.

So soon?

Well, I should look in at ma
before she gets to sleep.

Of course.

You have to get to the school
pretty early, don't you?


I had a pretty full day
at the magazine too.


It was a mighty fine dinner.

I'm glad you liked it. My car's
downstairs. Let me run you home.

Well, thanks. I think I'll walk.

It's a lovely night.

Yes, it is.

It's lovely.

I'd better be getting off.

Oh, don't bother. I
know where my hat is.

It's no bother.

- I'll call you sometime tomorrow.
- All right.

- Good night.
- Good night, Phil.

Mary said it'd be
all right to bring you.

She's cooked a big
dinner, so there's plenty...

I forgot something.

- Darling!
- Kathy, what am I doing to us?

It's my fault. I'm always weighing
and judging. I'm such a fool.

No, I should have said the angle
was fine. And it is. It's wonderful!

I don't know what happened. It

started when you
spoke. I felt insulted.

If I were Jewish, that's how I

would've felt and I
couldn't let you off.

All through dinner
I tried to reach

you, tell you I was
sorry and I couldn't.

I don't know what
happened to me when you

told me, except that
our evening was spoiled.

- I wanted you to come back.
- Darling!

But really, mr minify, I
never make it a policy

just to hire... it's a
question of personality.

Please understand,
mr minify. If a girl's

personality is the
type that fits in...

It's by chance that we
haven't one secretary

named finkelstein or
Cohen? In New York?

Come off it, Jordan!
Miss Miller, take a "help wanted" ad.

"Expert secretary for editorial
department, national magazine."

"Exacting work.
Religion is a matter

"of indifference to
this office." Got that?

Yes, mr minify.

In any other ad you
run, use that last line.

That's all, miss Miller.
Good afternoon, Jordan.

By the way, if you
should have to fire miss

wales for any reason
whatever, at any time...

remember I'd like to review the case
myself first. Good afternoon, mr minify.

I'm ashamed of myself
and the magazine. The

notion that everybody's
doing bigger things.

Well, nothing's bigger
than beating down the

complacence of decent
people on prejudice.

Yes, sir, I'm ashamed of myself.
Go on back to work.

I believe that I've given an

accurate picture of
my qualifications...

and I would very much appreciate...

your immediate consideration
and reply. Sincerely yours.

Ask for an immediate
reply on all of them.

Don't bother to do it today. It's
too late. Tomorrow'll be all right.

Mr green, when will
you start dictating the

series itself? I'd like to
get the decks cleared.

I think I'll type it out
myself to start with.

I'm not much good on
dictating actual copy.

Well, that'll be all, miss wales.
You'd better get along home.

All right.

Mr green...

- Is it true about mr Jordan?
- Is what true about mr Jordan?

Well, he's telling
everybody about mr minify's

ad. He thinks it's a
wonderful thing. He says,

he does, huh?

I thought I'd ask you if it's true
that the ad says right out...

Right straight out, miss wales. It's
gonna be in all the papers tomorrow.

Practically inviting any
type at all to apply?

Any type? What do you mean?

Mr green, you don't want things
changed around here, do you?

Although you are a
writer. And it's different

for writers. Different
for writers how?

Well, I mean, just
let them get one

wrong one in here
and it'll come out of us.

It's no fun being the fall guy
for the kikey ones.

Now, look, miss wales...

we've gotta be frank.
You have a right to know right now...

that words like yid
and kike and kikey

and nigger and coon
make me kind of sick...

- no matter who says them.
- But I only said it for a type.

Yeah, but we're talking
about a word first.

But, mr green, that
doesn't mean a thing.

Sometimes I even say it to myself -
about me, I mean.

Like if I'm about to do
something and I know I

shouldn't, I say "don't
be such a little kike."

But let one
objectionable one get in...

What do you mean
by objectionable?

Loud and too much Rouge and...

They don't hire
any loud, vulgar girls

here. What makes
you think they'll start?

It's not only that.
Mr green, you're sort of heckling me.

You know the sort
that starts trouble and

the sort that doesn't.
So why pin me down?

You mean because we don't look
especially Jewish? We're ok Jews?

Because with us
it can be kept nice and quiet?

I didn't say...

Listen, miss wales,
I hate anti-semitism.

I hate it when it comes
from you or any Jew,

as much as when it
comes from a gentile.

Me? Why, mr green...

See you tomorrow, miss wales.

Good night.

- Why don't you go home?
- I'm slowly going crazy!

- Hi, there!
- Hello, miss dettrey.

How can you stride
down the hall with such

energy at the end of
the day? I'm bushed.

Getting the book
to bed is a nightmare.

I didn't know
you called it that.

Oh, we do. We're sophisticated
new yorkers, mr green.

Do you happen to be thirsty?

I do, and I wanna
hear the story of your life.

Why, mr green!

I think it can be arranged.
If you play your cards right.

Do you know a nice bar?

This couldn't
happen to a nicer girl.

He liked it, and that's how
I got to be fashion editor.

Hello, Jim. How are you?

Don't look now,
but we've got visitors.

Just when I was
getting to the tender part.

Mind if I sit with
you charming people?

No. Sit down, Bert.

Only got a minute.
You two seemed to

be having such fun,
I couldn't resist it.

We love to spread
merriment. Our hearts are

god's garden, with just
an occasional weed.

Well, Anne, another
issue gone to

press. I don't see how
we do it every week.

We're just brilliant.
Every day I ask the

mirror "who is the most
brilliant of them all?"

And what does the mirror say?

That mirror ain't no
gentleman, mr green.

How's the series coming?

I'm still gathering
stuff. Plenty of it around.

When I was stationed at Guam
our co used to talk to us about it.

Quite a liberal,
that fellow. You

were in public
relations, weren't you?

- What makes you say that?
- I don't know.

You just seem like
a clever sort of a guy.

- What makes you think I wasn't a gi?
- Huh?

Now, for goodness
sake, green, don't

get me wrong. Some
of my best friends...

I know, and your other best friends
are methodists, but you never say it.

- Now, look, Anne...
- Skip it.

Flag the waiter, Phil, and be a dear.

Well, if you'll excuse
me, I've got to run.

I'll be seeing you.

Little drip.

"Now, for goodness sake, green,
don't get me wrong!"

Really believes it too.

Disapproves of the poll
tax and bilbo. Comes

right out and says
so brave as anything.

- He's just a drip, let's face it.
- That imitation was wonderful.

Got a million. Well,
we're back to laughs.

Say, I'm having a flock of people up
tomorrow night. What about coming?

Sure, I'd like it fine.
Can I bring my girl?

Of course!

- What'll you have, sir?
- More of the same.

Wait here, will you?
I'll be right back.


Now that's what I call timing. I saw
your cab drive up. I just couldn't wait.

Oh, brother!

It's nothing. A lady comes in
twice a week and puts them up for me.

Been with the family for generations.
Look at you!

First time I've seen
you in dinner clothes.

Good enough to eat.
Come on, dear, let's go.

Oh. I told ma today all about us.

Phil, was she pleased?

She was delighted.
She got very emotional.

She dropped and broke her best dish
and blamed it on Tommy!

I called my sister
Jane this morning,

blurted it out and
she squealed "Kathy!"

As if she'd given up hope
that anyone would ask me again.

Oh, darling, she's
aching to meet you. In fact,

they're giving a party
for us next Saturday.

- Won't we have to let Jane in on it?
- I hadn't thought.

I hadn't either, until now.
But won't we? Your mother knows.

She had to. Jane and her husband
don't. If you wanna keep a secret...

Wouldn't it be sort
of exaggerated with

my own sister? Your
sister-in-law almost?

Darling, I do think
it would be inflexible of you.

Well, I suppose it would.

Inside the family.

They won't tell
anybody else, will they?

Oh, they'd never breathe it.

They wanna fight this awful thing
as much as you and I do.

Darling, I'll be the
proudest girl on the block.

I don't have to kiss you in public.
I've got a nice dark taxi outside.

Well, what are we
waiting for? Come on.

Don't just stand there.

She is attractive.

She looks beautiful. She certainly
does. And she likes you a lot.

I'll scratch her eyes
out if she goes after you.

That's the way to talk.

You haven't got a
thing to worry about.

Hello, Anne. Can I get
you something? Food,

drinks, some spending
money, an emerald?

- Lovely party, Anne.
- Be better when it thins out.

I think I can get sascha to play
and Ethel to sing. Stick around.

Professor lieberman's here.
Would you and Kathy like to meet him?

- I should say so.
- I'm scared.

What does one say
to a famous physicist?

Just "hello, toots."
He's a wonderful guy.

I'm not happy till I'm out in my
boat. I bought myself a new one.

You ought to join me one day.
You look tired and drawn.

- Say when.
- Well...

Professor, two people wanna meet you,
but are scared.

They'll introduce
themselves. That'll

make them talk. You're
on your own, kids.

Fine friend!

Come on, Fred. I
want them to be alone.

- This is my fiancée, Kathy Lacey.
- How do you do?

I'm Phil green. John minify has been
wanting to get us together. Oh, yes, yes...

- Yes! He told me he did.
- How do you do?

I'm doing a series for
him on anti-semitism.

For or against?

Well, he thought that
we might hash over some ideas.

- What sort of ideas?
- Palestine. For instance, zionism.

Which? Palestine as a refuge or

zionism as a movement
for a Jewish state?

The confusion between the two.

If we agree there's
confusion, we can talk.

We scientists love
confusion. But right now

I'm starting on a new
crusade of my own.

You see, I have no religion,
so I'm not Jewish by religion.

Further, I'm a scientist,
so I must rely on

science that tells me
I'm not Jewish by race...

since there's no
such thing as a distinct

Jewish race. There's
not even a Jewish type.

Well, my crusade will
have a certain charm. I

will simply go forth
and state I'm not a Jew.

With my face, that
becomes not an evasion,

but a new principle.
A scientific principle.

- For a scientific age.
- Precisely.

There must be millions
of people nowadays

who are religious only
in the vaguest sense.

I've often wondered
why the Jewish

ones among them still
call themselves Jews.

- Can you guess why, mr green?
- No, but I'd like to know.

Because the world still makes it
an advantage not to be one.

Thus, for many of us,
it becomes a matter

of pride to go on
calling ourselves Jews.

So, you see, I will have to abandon
my crusade before it begins.

Only if there were no anti-semites
could I go on with it.

And now I would like to try
another little scientific experiment.

I wonder whether
you would leave me

alone with your very
beautiful fiancée...

- while you got me a plate of food.
- Well...

- Both in the interests of science.
- Anything for science, professor.

I'm John minify's niece, Kathy Lacey.

And a little onion.

- There. Now go play with that, Fred.
- Thank you.

This is not my third trip round,
it's for lieberman.

Who's counting?
I'll fix him some caviar.


It's all deductible from
my income tax, dear.

I have to give parties
to see what women wear. Get it?

- You old crook.
- Young crook, please!

- Ok. How do you like my girl?
- She's lovely.

Is it serious or just
the first rapture?

It's serious. We'll
be married any minute.

My congratulations, you wilful,

headstrong fellow.
When did this happen?

First time we looked at each other, I
guess. Third day I came to New York.

Tall buildings and
traffic didn't scare you?

Not a bit.

I brushed the hay
and straw out of

my hair and fell in
love with a city girl.

You could crawl right into
the Saturday evening post,

have you met her
sister and the rest?

Not yet. You know them?

Slightly. You're gonna
meet them soon?

Next week, I think. Why?

Oh, I'd like the
newsreel rights, that's all.

- Why? What's the matter with them?
- Nothing.

I just think it's a
fine idea to meet the

family first. It saves
wear and tear afterwards.

- Nice party.
- It's even nicer here.

I've been thinking maybe
it would be better if...

if you didn't tell your
sister after all, huh?

Not tell her? Why?

Well, the whole
business depends on...

my not making loopholes whenever
it's convenient. I've already told her.

- You did? When?
- Tonight. I called her from Anne's.

Jane insisted I let her know
the minute you said you'd be free.

You know it takes time
to make arrangements for a big party.

What'd she say
when you told her?

She thought it the
cleverest thing on earth.

You'll love her. And Harry too.
They're grand people.

But she promised?

I wouldn't tell her
until she had. And Harry.

She just asked that
you skip the whole thing

for the party, not
bring it up. And I said...

- You said no.
- What?

You said "no, he
won't skip it for the party."

No, I didn't.

I said I'd ask you.

I'd never say yes without asking you.

- You mean you think I should?
- Oh, darling...

why do you lose your sense of

proportion whenever
the subject comes up?

That's what was
wonderful about lieberman.

He feels the problem
as deeply as anyone

else, yet he had a
sense of humour about it.

And besides, you
know those suburban

groups - Connecticut,
Darien, up there.

It would start a mess
for Jane and Harry for

nothing. And if it were
a mess for something?

But, Phil, you're not
Jewish. It'd just ruin

the party for Jane if
she had problems with it.

Why can't I make you see that?
I know I promised. No exceptions.

You were being reasonable
to stretch it to Jane.

But it just seems
so silly to start a

thing for her up there
when it's not true.

Why not tell Jane just
to call off the party?

Well, it would seem so queer,
her only sister getting married.

- And if you were, I'd manage.
- Thanks

Phil, I'm not asking you
to make loopholes where it counts -

at the office and
meeting people like at Anne's.

But to go to Connecticut
to a party, and if we

were to use my house...
and Jane and Harry...

- I thought you said they were grand.
- They are!

But they can't
help it if some of

their friends are...
it would make a...

- A mess, an inconvenience.
- Well, it would!

Just for Jane and
Harry, or for you too?

I'd be so tense, I
wouldn't have fun either!

Oh, Phil, if everything's going
to be so tensed up and solemn, I...

I think I'd better go now.

- Wake him up. Tell him to hurry.
- Don't worry, I'll get him!


Pop, get up. It's for you.

- Grandma said to wake you.
- Hello. It's for you.

- Telephone.
- Ok.

Get up!

- Late, isn't it?
- Mm-hm.

- Here's your bathrobe.
- I don't want it. I said put it on.

Hey, pop! Here are your slippers.

Finally roused him.



Dave! Where are you?
When'd you get in?

It's Dave! This is
wonderful. Where are you?

Laguardia. Just
now. I had a break

and got assigned to
a plane with my co.

And I haven't had
breakfast. Get it?

Well, grab a cab
and get right over here.


Hey, ma! Can you make
some of your famous hot cakes?

- We used to eat a stack apiece.
- I guess the old magic still works.

Can I have some too, grandma?

How many breakfasts
can you eat in a day?

- Ok. I never have any fun.
- You'll be late for school.

I know what time school starts.
And I don't like fruit.

- You like bananas, don't you?
- Well, bananas are different.

Say, pop, are we Jewish?

Jimmy Kelly said we were.
Our janitor told his janitor.

- What'd you say to Jimmy Kelly?
- I told him I'd ask you.

Remember that movie
we saw with Kathy?


You asked if things
like that happened.

Kathy said they were pretending.

Well, I'm pretending to be Jewish
for something I'm writing now.

Oh, you mean like
a movie or a game.

Something like that.

Look, Tom. I'd like you to promise
not to tell anybody it's a game.

- Ok, sure.
- What'll you tell Jimmy, Tom?

Oh, I'll say I haven't
any information.

Wait a minute.

Maybe that's not such a good idea,
to say you haven't any information.

Maybe you'd better
say that you asked

me and I said I was
partly Jewish. Ok?

Ok. But not tell him
it's the movie part.

Have some more, Dave?

Doctor, please!
You're hittin' a nerve.

Good. I'll go do my
marketing. You two hogs

can pile the dishes in
the sink while I'm gone.

Dave, it's wonderful.
Might you really bring

Carol and the kids
to live in New York?

- We could all be together.
- That's the plan.

I can be eastern representative of
the firm. Best break I ever had.

All depends if I can
find a place to live.

I'll spend my terminal
leave looking for a

place big enough
for Carol and the kids.

- We'll find you something.
- Meantime you'll stay here.

Tommy can sleep in the living room.

Wait a minute.

No arguments. You're
talking to a civilian.

You win. My co had
to move in with an uncle

he hasn't seen since
the first world war.

- I'll help with the cooking.
- Not while I'm conscious.

Goodbye, boys.
Don't settle all the

problems today. Save
some for tomorrow.

Boy, I'm loaded!

You know, I used to dream
about doin' this, Phil.

What about this series you're doin'?
I've talked about myself enough.

- Come on. Give.
- Oh, we'll get to it later.

- What's eating you, Phil?
- Who, me?

You expecting a
call? You keep looking

out toward the phone
every few minutes.

It's that obvious?

Oh, I... I had a scrap with my girl.

I guess I wanted her to
be the one to phone.

That's another department.

I'm doing a series on anti-semitism.
With a special angle.

- That's interesting.
- Interesting?

Don't you want a good, stiff series
in a national magazine?

- Me? Sure.
- You sound bored.

Oh, I'm anything but.

It's just that... well,
I'm on the sidelines

in anti-semitism. It's
your fight, brother.

Ok. I get it.

Listen, I don't care
about the Jews as Jews.

It's the whole thing.
Not the poor, poor Jews.

You know what I mean.
Don't force me to use big words.

Anyway, what's this
special angle you've got?

I've been doing it for a while.

I'm saying I'm Jewish. And it works.

Why, you fool.

You crazy fool!

- And it's working?
- It works. It works too well.

I've had my nose rubbed in it and I
don't like the smell. Yeah. I can guess.

You're not insulated yet, Phil.

It's new every time, so the impact
must be quite a business on you.

You get indifferent to it in time?

No, but you're concentrating
a lifetime thing into a few weeks.

You make the thing happen
every day, go out to meet it.

The facts are no
different, Phil. It

just telescopes it.
Makes it hurt more.


No. Sorry.

- Wrong number.
- You wanna talk about it?

No. It's just one of those things.

I'm probably wiser
staying alone. After seven

years, you lose the
instinct for marriage.


Do you and Carol ever
get off on tangents much?

Who doesn't?
Go on and call her, you big dope.

So you're right
and she's wrong. So

what? So she has
to telephone you first?

Who makes such rules?
The supreme court? Go

on and call her and
stop lickin' your wounds.

Listen. Meet me at the office
between 5.30 and 6. I'll phone her.

I'll get Anne dettrey from
the office. We'll celebrate! Ok!

Can you imagine?
Me married again,

you and Carol here,
all of us together?

First I've gotta imagine
a roof over Carol's

head. I'm gonna
start lookin' right away.

How long do we have to wait?

I'll tell you as soon
as your table is ready.

- Other people haven't had to wait.
- They had reservations.

- Who do you have to know to get one?
- Me, madam.

Oh, captain, I'm expecting a call
here. Will you call me when it comes?

- Your name, sir?
- Phil green.

- Yes, sir.
- Thanks.

Ever been to Paris?
There's a lovely

restaurant on the
boulevard montparnasse...

- and we had delicious pressed duck.
- Anyone we know?

Know what I'm having? More
fun than you can shake a stick at.

You want me to have the waiter
bring a stick for a test?

No, thanks. None of those
things work for me.

Once I tried to let a smile
be my umbrella. I got awful wet.

Another time I kept
a stiff upper lip for a

week. People thought
I'd had a face-lift.

Tell me, gentlemen.
Why is it that every

man who seems
attractive these days...

is either married or
barred on a technicality?

Your timing is rotten
but your instincts are just great.

- Here's to my instincts!
- Pardon me.

Oh, pardon me.

You know, I don't like officers.

Well, neither do I. I don't blame ya.

- What's your name, bud?
- Dave. Dave Goldman. What's yours?

Never mind what my name is.
I told you I don't like officers.

I especially don't like
them if they're yids.

Sorry, sir. He's terrible when
he gets all tanked up. Sorry.

What's the matter with you, anyway?

Let's take a walk.

Come on. Sit down.

Take it easy, boy.

I'm so sorry, sir. He
won't bother you again.

I was just coming
over to tell you there's

a call for you. Telephone,
mr green. A lady.

Oh. Thanks.

Come on. Let's eat, Anne.

You have a call for mr green?

Hello. Kathy? Where are you?

I'm up at Jane's. I came up
to have it out with her.

I couldn't call you until I'd fixed
things up. Darling, I was wonderful.

I said all the things
you'd have wanted

me to. You would
have been proud of me.

Why can I be clear
to Jane and Harry

when it's you I want
to be clear with?

I told you, baby.
Sometimes I can be such

a solemn fool, I'm
hard to get along with.

The party's tomorrow. Will
you take the three o'clock train?

I'll be waiting for
you at the station.

Oh, darling, I can breathe again
now that I've talked with you.

And I can scarcely wait until

tomorrow. Good
night, baby. Oh, Kathy...

- I love you, darling.
- And I love you. More than ever.


Welcome to Darien! How are you?

Oh, hurry, Harris. We're all parched.

Your mother must be so proud
of you, mr green. Well, I hope so.

- Are you enjoying yourself, Phil?
- Oh, having a fine time. Uh, Jane...

Does your motherjust adore
everything you write?

- Not everything. No, not exactly.
- She must.

- Some people have all the luck.
- Yes, he's... nice.

If I thought there were
any more I'd go up into

the hills and catch
him with my bare hands.

He's divine. How long
was he around loose?

Oh, about three days.

- Mind if I steal Kathy away?
- Jane, you look beautiful. So do you.

- Wonderful party.
- It's going beautifully.

- Where are the bascoms?
- Oh, didn't I tell you?

Joe called and said
he had that dreadful

arthritis of his. They
said they were so sorry.

Are the Howards and
the berlicks coming later?

Um, no. They all decided
to go to hot Springs

at the last moment. I
thought I mentioned it.

Jane, dear, I'm in
this just as deeply

as Phil. I feel as
strongly as he does.

- Darling! What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.

Just a little careful screening?
Just the safe ones?

Darling, you're getting
hipped on this series too.

Mr green, tell me. Do you get
your ideas first and then write?

Or do you write first and
then get your ideas?

Well, I'm afraid I don't quite
understand what you mean.

Excuse me. Darling,
I'm afraid I have

to spirit you away.
Will you excuse us?

Why, certainly, my dear.
You make such a charming couple.

- We all wish you great happiness.
- Thank you. We'll be right back.

- Kathy!
- Jane.

Kathy, wait a minute.
Where are you going?

Phil and I are
disappearing for a minute.

I want to show him the house.
And we both need a breather.

Give us all a chance to talk
about Phil without whispering.

He's won everyone.
Has it been awful, Phil?

No. I'm coming back for more.

Good boy! Harry says this sort of
thing is a kind of mental bankruptcy.

But we women love
it. Don't we, Kathy?

We certainly do.
Come on, darling.

- See you later.
- Goodbye.

I feel pretty much of a fool
over the fuss I kicked up beforehand.

Why did Jane ask me
to lay off for the party?

They all asked about
the series. It was fine.

Not one lifted eyebrow in the bunch.

Hey, miss Lacey,
you're not even listening.

I was thinking about
how wonderful you are.

Darling, there it is.

Aren't you supposed to
carry me across the threshold?

That's only if you
refuse to marry me, in

which case I take
you and throw you in.

It's lovely. It has a...

kind of quiet all its own.

- Did you do it all yourself?
- Every bit of it.

We can redo the nursery.

That was when bill and I hoped we'd
have a child. It could be Tom's room.

- Will he like the country, Phil?
- Oh, he'll be crazy about it.

- Did you and bill live here long?
- Bill and I have never lived here.

Never? Why not?

Well, it's hard to explain.

I love this house, deeply.

And I started to build
it when things first

began to go wrong
between bill and me.

And... somehow it became
a symbol to me of many things.

When you're troubled
and hurt, you pour

yourself into things
that can't hurt back.

- Can you understand that?
- Sure. I've done it myself at work.

Well, I poured all my
hopes into this place.

And when it was finished, I somehow
knew that bill and I were finished.

I knew I couldn't live here
with someone I didn't really love.

It was always more than just
a house to me, a place I owned.

It meant everything I hoped for.

Marriage, children, good life.

I knew I couldn't live here alone.
I knew that for sure.

- And you never lived here at all?
- No, never. No one has.

I stay at Jane's and
come down here and walk

through the house,
poke the curtains a bit.

Sit out here.

And for a long while I hated it.
Really hated it.

But I could never let it go.

And now I know why.

I was right not to settle
for second best, right

to keep hoping,
because it's all come true.

Darling, you and I
are going to be so happy here.

This house and I... we
were waiting for you.

I was always waiting
for you, I think.

Coffee, coffee, coffee!

Anne, will you bring
the cream? And the mints?

- Mints? Where?
- Right there.

How do you want your
coffee, Dave? Black?


Why don't you play that piece, dear?
Make it a perfect evening.

- She plays beautifully.
- Darling, you keep on thinking that.

Anne, would you put
the radio on? You know,

Anne, these two act like
an old married couple.

Two days before the
wedding, it's indecent.

And depressing.

Give a nervous
flutter or two, Kathy...

or the bellboys won'tjoke
as they carry up your bags.

- Is the honeymoon place a secret?
- Big secret.

- It's the white mountains.
- Don't tell him. He's nosy.

Liable to turn up at odd hours,
pretending he's the house detective.

I'd love that. I've always wanted
to tell a house detective what for.

We're going to flume
inn. Do you know it?

What? Flume inn?
On your honeymoon?

- You wouldn't. You're kidding.
- No, we're not.

- What's the matter with flume inn?
- It's restricted, that's all.


Darling, I'm sorry.
I didn't realise.

That's all right,
baby. It's not your fault.

So that's how it is.

Are you sure? Were
you there recently?

- No. And I'm sure.
- But they confirmed the reservation.

Darling, we can
open the cottage.

Oh, sure. You can
always go somewhere.

Those nasty little
snobs aren't worth it.

There must be something I can do.

You can't pin 'em
down, Phil. They never

say straight out
or put it in writing.

They'll worm out of
it one way or another.


It's Tom. He wants you.
He sounds frightened.

Hello, Tom. What's up?


There's a bottle
of medicine in the

cabinet. Give some
to grandma right away.

- I'll be right there.
- What is it?

Sounds like a stroke.

Look up dr Abrahams.
Ask him to get there.

Je Abrahams.

I'm going with you.

- Tsk, tsk, tsk...
- Hm?

She is magnificent.
Never complains. Just

worries about my
school if I'm here all day.

Maybe we ought to
hire a part-time maid.

Dry dishes with your
mouth shut. It's faster.

Cheer up. Postponing a wedding
isn't the worst thing in the world.

Just a week, two at
most, Abrahams said.

I'm afraid I
won't be here for it.

What?! Why, Dave, you've got to be.

We couldn't get
married without you.

Why? What happened?

Nothing. That's just
it. I can't abandon

my family. Or find a
house or an apartment.

If it was just me, I'd
sleep in the subway. But

I've got Carol and the
kids. I've gotta go back.

No two ways about it. I'm licked.

Yeah, but... that means the job,
your whole future.

I'll live. I did before.

Why, Dave, that's terrible.

I called Carol last
night. I told her I'd give

it one more day but I
know there isn't a chance.

She's lonely too. I've gotta go back.

Big job or not.

What is it, Phil?

Oh, nothing.

Phil, let's get out of
the house for a while.

Kathy won't mind, and you know ma's
out of danger now. You need some air.

I am going out. I'm
going up to flume inn.


I'll use the plane tickets
we had for this afternoon.

- What for?
- It's a waste of time.

There must be a time once
when you fight back.

I wanna make 'em look me
in the eye and do it.

I want the satisfaction. I can't

explain it, but I
wanna do it for myself.

Phil, they're
nothing more than...

Let him do it. You
have to face 'em once.

I did it once, at monterey.

They are more
than nasty little snobs.

You call 'em that and
you can dismiss 'em.

They're persistent little
traitors to everything

this country stands for.
You have to fight 'em.

Not just for the "poor,
poor Jews", as Dave

says, but for all this
country stands for.

Anyway, I'm going.

See you later.

You'll find this room
more comfortable.

Thank you.

I have a reservation, double room
and bath, today through Thursday.

- In what name?
- Green. Philip green. Yes, mr green.

- My wife will be here tomorrow.
- Oh, yes.

- Oh, one more thing.
- Yes? Is your hotel restricted?

Well... I'd hardly
say it was restricted.

Then it's not restricted?

Would you excuse me a moment, please?

- How do you do, mr green?
- How do you do?

In answer to your question,
may I inquire, are you...

uh, that is, do you
follow the Hebrew religion

yourself? Or do you
just want to make sure?

I've asked a simple question.
I'd like a simple answer.

Well, you see, we do
have a very high-class

clientele and...
well, naturally.

Then you do restrict
your guests to gentiles?

Well, I wouldn't
say that, mr green.

In any event, there's
been some mistake. We

don't have a free
room in the entire hotel.

But perhaps I can fix you up at
the Brewster hotel near the station.

I'm not staying at the Brewster.

Look, I'm Jewish and you
don't take Jews. That's it, isn't it?

- I never said that.
- If you don't accept Jews, say so.

Don't raise your voice to me, mr green.
Speak quietly, please. Do you or don't you?

Mr green, I'm a
very busy man. If you

want me to phone
the Brewster, I'll do so.


Otherwise what?


Oh, Phil. Hello.

It was bad. I can tell by your face.

Dave was right. It
was a waste of time.

How's ma?

She's fine. She's
asleep. Tom's out playing.

- Where's Dave?
- He's out with Anne.

He packed all afternoon.
They're having a last

night on the town.
They'll wind up here later.

- How about some coffee?
- No, thanks.

Tired, darling?

No. I'm...

I'm just thinking about Dave.

- You're thinking about the cottage.
- Yes, I did think about that.

So have I. You must know that.
And it wouldn't work, Phil.

It would be too
uncomfortable for Dave

moving into one of
those neighbourhoods.

Darling, don't you see that? It's
detestable, but that's the way it is.

It's even worse in new canaan.

There nobody can
sell or rent to a Jew.

Even in Darien, where
Jane's house is and my

house is, there's a
gentleman's agreement...


Kathy, you can't...

You're not gonna fight it, Kathy.

You're just gonna give in, play

along, just let their
idiotic rules stand.

I don't play along.
But what can one person do?

Tell 'em to go jump in the lake! What
can they do? Plenty! Ostracise him.

Some of the markets not deliver food.
Not even wait on him.

Phil, the series will be over
by the time we get there.

Phil, face facts.

You expect us to
live in that cottage now?

You can't change the world.
I'm on Dave's side.

Well, I'm not on Dave's side or
any side, except against their side.

Do you or don't
you believe in this?

Because if you do,
how can you talk about...

Tom, please. Kathy
and I are talking.

But, pop, I...

Tom, what is it? What's the matter?

Did you have a fight?
Argument with one of the guys?

They called me a dirty Jew!

And a stinking kike!

And they all ran off and...

Oh, darling, it's
not true! It's not true.

You're no more Jewish than I
am. It's a horrible mistake. Kathy!

Come with me, Tom.
We'll talk about it in here.

Take it easy. Take it easy, son.

- Want some water?
- Yes.

Where'd it happen?

Jimmy in it? Somebody
sock somebody?

No. They just yelled it.

It was at our corner.
One was a kid from school.

They were playing hop
and I asked could I play too.

Then the school one said no

dirty little Jew
could play with them.

Then they all yelled
those other things.

I started to speak,
then they all yelled

"your father has a
long, curly beard"...

and turned and ran.

Why did they, pop? Why?

Come on. Drink some of this.

Did you wanna tell 'em
that you weren't really Jewish?

- No.
- That's good.

See, there's a lot of kids
just like you who are Jewish...

and if you said it, it
would be admitting

there was something
bad in being Jewish...

and something swell in not.
They wouldn't fight. They just ran.

Yeah, I know.

There's a lot of grown-ups
just like that too, Tom.

Only, they do it with wisecracks
instead of yelling.

- Ok?
- Sure.


Wanna go and read
while I talk to Kathy?


Oh, uh... let's keep this to
ourselves till grandma's well, huh?


Phil, I've got something to tell you.

I'm pretty tired of
feeling wrong. Everything

I do or say is wrong
about anything Jewish.

All I did just now was
to face facts about Dave and Darien.

And to tell Tom
just what you did...

Not just what.

You assured him he's a wonderful
creature: A white Christian American.

You gave him a
taste of superiority...

the poison that millions of parents
give their children.

- You do think I'm an anti-semite.
- No.

You do. You've thought it
secretly for a long time.

No. But I see that lots of
nice people who aren't...

people who despise it and deplore it
and protest their own innocence...

help it along,
then wonder why it

grows. People who'd
never beat up a Jew.

People who think
anti-semitism is away off

in some crackpot place
with low-class morons.

That's the biggest discovery
I've made, Kathy.

The good people, the nice people.

You mean you're not going
to Darien this summer?

Let's save that
for another time.

I hate everything
about this horrible thing!

They make trouble for everybody. They force
people to take sides. Quit it! Quit that.

They didn't suggest
the series. They haven't

got a single thing to
do with you and me!

Don't shout at me. I know what
you're thinking about marrying me.

I saw it on your face
when I said that to Tom.

And don't treat me to any more
lessons of tolerance. I'm sick of it!

I'm not going to marry into
hothead shoutings and nerves...

and you might as well know it now.


I'm sorry I shouted.
I hate it when I do it.

It's not just the shouting.
It's everything.

You've changed since that first night
I met you at uncle John's.

It's no use, Phil.

Now I know why I drew
back when you told me

The angle. You're doing
an impossible thing.

You are what you are
for the one life you have.

You can't help it if
you were born Christian

and not Jewish. It
doesn't mean you're glad.

But I am glad. There, I've said it.

It'd be terrible. I'm glad I'm not.

I could never make
you understand that. You

could never understand
that it's a fact.

Like being glad
you're good-looking

instead of ugly,
rich instead of poor...

young instead of old,
healthy instead of sick.

You could never understand that.

It's just a practical fact,
not ajudgment that I'm superior.

But you could never see that.

You'd twist it into
something horrible.

A conniving, an aiding and abetting,
a thing I loathe as much as you do.

It's better to finish it now.
Get it over with right now.


I hate you for doing this.

We could have been
so happy. We had

so much to enjoy
and so much to share.

And I hate you for
taking it away from both of us.

I hate you for that.

Whaddaya know?
He's asleep, this early.

On your last night?
Let's wake him up.

- Let the poor guy alone.
- It's against my deepest principles.

Hey, Phil. Come on, wake up. It's us.

Let the poor lug alone.

I told you. I never
let any man alone.

Hey! I thought we were expected,
sleepyhead. Where's Kathy?

- She left early.
- My, you look nice in pyjamas.

Get on a dressing
gown. I'll close my eyes.

Go get the ice cubes
so he can get dressed.

He wouldn't let a dame
see his ratty bathrobe.

Go on. Don't trifle
with your luck. I don't

think men should
wear coats and ties.

They lookjust wonderful
in shirts and pants - and in pyjamas!

What's wrong, Phil?

Skip it.

Flume inn?

Tommy got called "dirty Jew" and
"kike" by some kids down the street.

Came home pretty badly shaken up.

Now you know it all. That's the place
they really get at you: Your kids.

Now you even know that.

Well, you can quit being Jewish now.

There's nothing else.

My own kids got it
without the names, Phil.

Just setting their hearts on a summer
camp their bunch were going to...

and being kept out.

It wrecked them for a while.

The only other thing
that makes you wanna murder is...

There was a boy in our outfit.

Abe schlussman.

Good soldier. Good engineer.

One night we...
We got bombed, and he caught it.

I was ten yards off.

Somebody said
"gimme a hand with this sheeny."

Those were the last
words he ever heard.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Miss wales... here it is. The first
three instalments, ready to go.

Send every ten pages downstairs.
Have it set up in galley immediately.

Tell 'em I'm in a hurry. A big hurry.

How long will
that much take you?

Under 10,000 words.
I can finish by tonight.

I am pretty fast.

"I was Jewish for eight weeks."

Why, mr green, you're a Christian!

- But I never...
- Well?

I've been around you more
than anybody and I never once...

What's so upsetting
about that, miss wales?

You mean there is some difference
between Jews and christians?

Look at me. Look at
me hard. I'm the same

man I was yesterday.
That's true, isn't it?

Why should you be so astonished?

You can't believe
anybody would give up the

glory of being a
Christian for eight weeks.

That's what's eating you, isn't it?

If I say that's anti-semitism,
your feeling that

being Christian is better
than being Jewish...

you'll tell me I'm heckling you or
I'm twisting your words around or...

it's just facing facts,
as someone else said to me yesterday.

Face me, miss wales. Look at me.

Same face, same eyes, same nose,
same suit, same everything.

Here. Take my hand. Feel it!
Same flesh as yours, isn't it?

No different today
than it was yesterday.

The only thing that's different
is the word "Christian".

Of course I'll see
him. Send him right in.

- Good morning.
- Thanks for seeing me, John.

Sorry to break in on you. I gave

the first half to miss
wales for typing.

- I'll finish by the end of the week.
- Good. I want to clear out.

- Completely?
- Yeah, completely.

- Back to California?
- As soon as we pack.

Will the office
get me train tickets?

Yes. What about
future assignments?

I'll... let you know.-

I don't want to be
disturbed for anything.

Sorry about you two.
Kathy told my wife

this morning. She
seemed pretty upset.

I'd have liked it to go on.
It seemed so right, you two.

Anything I can do?
Can I be of any help?

Talk is useless, I know, but...
Maybe someone who knew you both...

Thanks, John. Thanks a lot.

I'd better get back. I'm
clearing out of the office tonight.

I'll finish the last three
instalments at home,

bring 'em in and we'll
have one more session.

Hey, I'm lookin' for you.

It's the goldarnedest idea for a
series this magazine has ever run.

I couldn't put these ten pages down.
The place is buzzing.

About artwork.
Photographic treatment's my hunch.

Ok. But no pictures of my kid
or me or my mother. Understand?

Stop pushin' me
around. That's the trouble

with you christians.
Aggressive, loud, pushy.

Everybody's got a copy but me.
When's my turn to see it?

The place is in a frenzy
over the wonderful plot.

Though what plot there can be to a
series on anti-semitism escapes me.

This is something.

It's hot all right.

You fooled me, Phil, completely.

Though I did want to
say, how have you lived

this long spending
this much juice on it?

I get it now. Everything.

- This is dynamite.
- Read the rest of it.

If everybody'd act it out just one day
of the year, it'd end overnight.

I gotta go. Minify ordered

everything stops for
this. See you later.

It's a wonderful notion, Phil.

Hey, you look kind of beat.
I worry about you.

- I'm fine.
- Uh-huh?

It's over with you
and Kathy, isn't it?

Phil, I guessed it last
night but I wasn't sure.

It is over, isn't it?

Everything's so
rotten, Phil. For me too.

Look, if you're free
tonight, come to my

place and listen to my
troubles. How about it?

Ok. Thanks.

We'll have dinner.

- Feeling better?
- Yeah.


You almost smiled a minute ago.

You take your coffee black, don't you?
And one lump. I remember from the party.

You do?

You're quite a girl, Anne.
I don't think I told you that before.

Me? Sure. Everybody loves Anne.

You said you weren't very happy.
Do you want to talk about it?

Nothing bores a man like an
unhappy female. Now look, Anne.

We're good friends.
Even in this short a

time, we've been through
quite a bit together.

It's good for me to
be able to be with

you tonight. I wish
you would talk to me.

All right, I'll talk.

We've been skirting it all evening.
Let's bring it out and clear the air.

Do you mind if I say something
about you and Kathy?

- Let's don't.
- All right, Phil. Mind your manners.

Be a gentleman. Don't let
the flag touch the ground.

This sort of honourableness
gets me sick, Phil.

I think you're pretty
straight and she's...

Anne, drop it!

Ok. I'm a cat.

And this is dirty pool.

But I'm intolerant of hypocrites.

That's what I said, Phil: Hypocrites.

She'd rather let Dave lose that job
than risk a fuss up there.

That's it, isn't it? She's afraid.

The kathys everywhere are afraid of
getting the gate from "nice people".

They make little
clucks of disapproval.

But they want you
and uncle John to

stand up and yell and
take sides and fight.

But do they fight? Oh, no.

Kathy and Harry and
Jane and all of 'em.

They scold bilbo
twice a year and think

they've fought for
democracy in this country.

They haven't got the guts to take
the step from talking to action.

One little action
on one little front.

It's not the whole answer,
but it's gotta start somewhere.

And it's gotta be with action, not
pamphlets, not even with your series.

It's gotta be with
people. Nice people, rich

people, poor people,
big and little people.

And it's gotta be quick.

But not Kathy. She
can't. She never will.

She doesn't rate you, Phil.

Phil... do you hate
me for saying this?

- No.
- I'd like to say one thing more.

There's time.

If two people are right for each

other, they usually
discover it in time.

If I had a kid I loved...

I'd want him to be
brought up with people who

felt the way I did
about the basic things.

Are you proposing, Anne?


Maybe I am.


Oh, Dave. Hello.

Thank you for coming.
It was good of you.

- You know about Phil and me?
- Yes.

I want to ask you something.

And I want you to
answer me honestly.

Go ahead.

Do you think I'm anti-semitic?

- No, Kathy, I don't.
- Phil does.

- Does he?
- You know I'm not anti-semitic.

You're a Jew and
you know it. Why

can I make it clear
to everybody but Phil?

I was the one who suggested
the series. Did you know that?

No, I didn't.

I hate this thing as much as he
does. Why can't he see it? Why?

Tonight at dinner
a man told a vicious

story and I was sick
with rage and shame.

- But Phil actually...
- What kind of story, Kathy?

- Just a story. It had nothing to...
- Suppose you tell me anyway.

Well, it was just a vulgar little
joke. It has nothing to do with this.

Take it easy, Kathy.
Maybe it has. What kind

of a joke? I can take
naughty words, you know.

But why?

Oh, all right. It was a
man named lockhardt...

and he tried to get laughs with words
like "kike" and "coon", and...

I despised him and
everybody else there.

What did you do?
When he told the joke?

What do you mean?

I mean... what did you
say when he finished?

I wanted to yell at him
and get up and leave.

I wanted to say
to everyone at that

table: Why do we
sit here and take it...

when he's attacking
everything we

believe in? Why
don't we call him on it?

- And what did you do?
- I just sat there. I felt ashamed.

We all just sat there.


And then you left and
got me on the phone.

Later, after dinner was over, I said
I was ill and I am. I'm sick through.

I wonder if you'd feel so sick now,
Kathy, if you had nailed him.

There's a funny kind of elation
about socking back.

I learned that a long time ago.

- Phil's learned it.
- And I haven't?

Lots of things are
pretty rough, Kathy.

This is just a
different kind of a war.

And anybody who
crawls away is a quitter...

I didn't say that.

You did.

Somebody told a story. Sure, a

man at a dinner
table told the story...

and the nice people didn't laugh. They even
despised him for it. But they let it pass.

And behind thatjoke is flume inn and
Darien and Tommy and those kids...

And if you don't stop
with thatjoke, where do you stop?

- Is that what you mean?
- That's right.

Where do you call a halt?

I got mad at Phil because
he expected me to fight this...

instead of getting mad at the people
who help it along, like lockhardt.

Not just old lockhardt.
At least he's out in the open.

But what about the
other dinner guests?

They're supposed
to be on your side.

- And they didn't act or...
- No, they didn't. And I didn't.

That's the trouble: We never do.

It all links up, Dave.

Phil will fight. He can fight.
He always will fight.

And if I just sit by and... feel

sick, then I'm not
a fit wife for him.

It was always on those deeper issues
that we had our quarrels.


- And I never knew it until now.
- Sure.

A man wants his wife to be more
than just a companion, Kathy.

More than his beloved girl.

More than even the
mother of his children.

He wants a sidekick, a buddy,
to go through the rough spots with...

and she has to feel that the
same things are the rough spots...

or they're always out
of line with each other.

You're not cast in bronze, sweetie.

You're nice and soft and pliable...

and you can do anything you have
to do, or want to do, with yourself.

Can I?

Can I?

But it's got to be more than talk.

Now don't scold, Phil.

I couldn't sleep so
I sneaked into your

room and stole the
first two instalments.

Come here.

Thanks, ma. I think maybe I'd rather
have that than almost anything.

I wish your father could have
read this, Phil. He'd have liked it.

He'd have liked this.

"Leaving the inn, I knew all
about every man or woman...

who'd been told the job
was filled when it wasn't."

"Every youngster
who'd ever been turned

down by a college
or a summer camp."

"I knew the rage that
goes through you when

you see your own child
shaken and dazed."

"From that moment I saw
an unending attack by adults...

on kids of seven and eight
and ten and twelve...

on adolescent boys
and girls trying to get a

job or an education
or into medical school."

"And I knew that they had
somehow known it too -

They: Those patient, stubborn men
who argued and wrote and fought...

and came up with the constitution
and the bill of rights."

"They knew that the
tree is known by its

fruit, and that injustice
corrupts a tree...

that its fruit withers
and shrivels and falls

at last to that dark
ground of history...

where other great hopes
have rotted and died...

where equality and
freedom remain still the

only choice for wholeness
and soundness...

"in a man or in a nation."

Your father would
have liked you to say that.

Not enough of us realise it, ma.

Time's getting short.

Not enough people,
and the time's running out.

- You mean Kathy?
- Not just Kathy.

All the kathys. Everywhere.

You know something, Phil?

I suddenly want to
live to be very old.


I want to be around
to see what happens.

The world is stirring
in very strange ways.

Maybe this is the century for it,
and that's why it's so troubled.

Other centuries had
their driving forces.

What will ours have been
when men look far back to it one day?

Maybe it won't be the
American century after

all. Or the Russian
century or atomic century.

Wouldn't it be wonderful
if it was everybody's century...

when people all
over the world - free

people - found a
way to live together?

I'd like to be around to see
some of that, even the beginning.

I may stick around
for quite a while.-

hi, Dave.

Hello? Mr case? Dave Goldman calling.

I'm sorry to call you at this
late hour, but I can take that job.

I'm bringing my family
from California immediately.

I've got a house.

Thanks. So am I.

She's gonna live up there
all summer at her sister's.

And if anybody dishes anything

out, she'll be right
there to dish it back.

Yes, sir. I think I'll
stick around for a long time.

Thanks, Dave.