Gaspard at the Wedding (2017) - full transcript
After many years of keeping a careful distance, Gaspard, 25 years old, has to renew contact with his family when his father announces he is getting remarried. Accompanied by Laura, an eccentric girl, who agrees to play the role of his girlfriend for the wedding, he finally feels ready to set foot again in his parents' zoo where he is reunited with the monkeys and tigers he grew up with. But between a father who's too much of a womanizer, a brother who's too square and a sister who's far too beautiful, he's not aware that he is preparing to live the last days of his childhood.
Can I have some?
Gaspard and the Wedding
- What's going on?
- No idea.
We're here to stop
radioactive waste transportation,
and protest about the lack
of information on the convoy
passing through the area.
All we know is that 5 containers
of radioactive material
will come through...
I'm sorry.
Are you alright?
She's not very well.
- Who's got the key?
- Him.
Michel's got it.
Thanks.
I'll have some peanuts.
In fact...
In fact, I'm not with them.
With who?
Those protestors.
They were giving out free croissants.
I took one and followed them.
They handcuffed me to the rail.
What'll you have?
- A beer.
- 2 beers.
- You did it out of curiosity.
- You might say that.
You're a bit crazy.
Being hungry
doesn't mean you're crazy.
And you just trusted them?
Let's keep it informal.
Shit!
Leave it to me.
- Why stop me?
- You'd have hurt yourself.
- The train?
- Limoges.
"Limoges"?
I don't want to go there.
- Where are you going?
- Biarritz.
Oh, shit!
He's gone.
Do you have to go there?
Yes. More or less.
I'm meeting a friend.
Can't it wait a couple of days?
Why?
- I've got a proposition to make.
- What kind?
Right.
I want you to come
to my father's with me.
Just stay a while, then leave.
Why do you want me to go there?
He's getting married.
Well, married again.
I want someone with me.
It's not unreasonable
to want to go with someone.
Isn't there anyone else?
No.
Not at this precise moment.
I didn't plan it.
But when I saw you,
I thought you'd do.
- Your escort?
- No. But if that's how you see it,
I don't mind. Do you?
- No.
But no sex.
No. Perish the thought!
- It must be clear.
- It is. But your family
will guess immediately.
It will show.
No, it won't, you'll see.
My name's Gaspard.
Laura.
Is it a deal, Laura?
- I don't know.
- You owe me. I saved you...
I didn't ask.
I owe you nothing.
Do it for a laugh then.
Don't you like playing games?
And I'll give you, say...
50 euros a day.
3-4 days will earn you
some cash for Biarritz.
Why not?
Super.
- Are you scared of animals?
- No. I've had 3 cats.
Chapter 1
The Imaginary Girlfriend
This is totally crazy!
Don't you realise how lucky
you were?
- Perhaps.
- Growing up in a zoo!
What took you all this time?
My train was attacked.
I'll explain.
- Hello. Laura.
- Hello. Virgil.
- I can't come.
- Can I kiss the bride?
This is Laura.
- First I've heard about it.
- Yes.
- That's you all over. Hello.
- I won't shake
your hand.
- Maybe not.
Why were you
fisting that animal?
To analyse its faeces.
For its own good.
Oh, I see!
Want to see a caribou
born with 2 heads?
OK, yes.
Will you help me?
We'll join you.
Can you hold that, please?
- Have you been with her long?
- A while.
- You're not counting.
- Correct.
That's good.
Do you feel queasy?
No. I just need a little air.
- What's it like?
- Horrible!
Want to see it?
Later.
It's going well.
- Am I credible?
- Sure.
- They could catch me out.
- How could they?
I know nothing about you.
Real couples know a lot
about each other.
Like what?
Well, the kind of music you like,
for instance,
your favourite cut of chicken...
No need to know that.
Is there anything else
you feel you should know?
No.
Oh yes!
Where's your mother?
She was killed by a tiger
when I was a child.
Pull the other one.
It's true.
Oh, shit!
I'm sorry.
Gaspard!
They'll see we've nothing
in common. I've done nothing
and your mum was eaten by a tiger.
It's no big deal.
It's like she died in a car accident.
I would've liked my mother
to die in a car accident.
In fact, genuine couples
never agree.
"Our holiday, 2 years ago..."
"3 years ago."
That makes it seem genuine.
Should we kiss in front of them?
No. There's no point.
But what if we have to?
I'd prefer to have
tried it out first.
What, now?
We've done it now.
It'll be easier for me.
Yes.
Weren't you due earlier?
Yes.
Meet Laura.
Coline, my sister.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Only 4?
- We couldn't replace them.
- Why not?
- No time or money.
Are those auks?
- Penguins.
- What's the difference?
Auks can fly,
so they escape.
- Penguins can't.
- They're much more fun.
- How?
- They predict the future.
Oh? Really?
- Ask Gaspard. True or false?
- True.
The penguin
will answer any question you ask.
Got one?
- Yes.
- What?
Do you truly love me?
Right.
Now...
if it chooses the fish on the left,
the answer's yes,
I truly love you.
If it's on the right,
it's no.
OK?
What's that one called?
That's Findus.
OK.
Throw them both in the water.
3, 2, 1...
Which fish?
The right, the answer's no.
Oh, charming!
I think it could work.
The penguin oracle.
Perhaps.
For sure. All zoos
need a star animal.
- Findus the prophet.
- He's a charlatan.
You're only saying that
because you didn't like his answer,
but he may not be your Mr Right.
Sorry.
Know how the mother feeds her young?
- Shall I?
- No, don't.
Why not? She doesn't know.
It's instructive.
She does it like that.
We need to talk about this wedding.
- You ready?
- For what?
Peggy doesn't want to marry.
Shit, I knew it!
Is she panicking?
Peggy, panicking?
No.
Why?
Something must have happened.
I don't know.
Perhaps.
What shit!
- Is she leaving?
- Who knows.
Hope not.
Can you imagine?
Dad's already in enough trouble,
if she leaves...
- No party then, nothing?
- No. Obviously.
A week from the wedding,
it'll cost us a fortune.
- Unless you want to marry.
- Me?
I said it...
Just in case.
There's enough cake and guests...
- What will Dad do?
- I don't know.
He's got eczema.
Is it related?
- "Eczema"?
- Dead skin that's dropping away.
Could it be connected?
What a shit!
I didn't fancy coming,
but now...
- You could have said.
- She only just told us.
I wasn't born yesterday!
When did you find out?
Alright. Wednesday.
What does it change?
I don't know.
I wouldn't have come.
That's why I didn't tell you.
I wanted to see you.
The donkeys go in
and eat all the hay.
Leaving the deer with nothing.
Put it out tomorrow.
Perhaps we should block the door,
as the male donkey pushes it.
That's the technicians' job.
- We've already told them to do it.
- Perhaps lower it
to the middle notch?
- Or block the hatch,
so they can't lift it
and go underneath.
Coline, this job's for you.
Clean out
the mealworms in the kitchen.
- OK.
- It won't take you...
- I did it last week.
Hey!
What about Coline's coat?
It's a skinned bear,
it died when she was little.
And?
That's it.
Didn't you have a teddy?
No. A cuddly monkey.
- We had real bears.
- So...
she made a coat of one.
- Yes.
- Does she always wear it?
- Yes.
Visitors appreciate it.
Kids come to see her,
they know her.
In fact, it's not
just the skin.
Coline thinks she's a bear.
That she's part bear.
- You joking?
- I'm serious.
Obviously, she knows
she's not really a bear, but...
By the way...
I wanted to ask you a question.
Are you gay?
What?
- Why do you ask?
- I thought that...
I was here to convince
your family you're straight.
No, I'm not gay.
I like women.
I'll sleep on the floor.
- You can sleep with me.
- Sure?
Yes.
Unless it'll excite you too much.
It won't.
- Sure?
- Don't worry.
See you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Thanks.
- Want one?
- Yes.
Does it affect you?
- It's OK.
- Fine.
Will you need me for long?
As long as possible.
I can stay till Friday.
Saturday, I must be in Biarritz.
Do you like my body?
It's OK.
Is that all you say "it's OK"?
You have a nice body.
My shoulders aren't too wide?
I like them.
- That's 66.
- He didn't include it.
Fine.
"Bananas."
So, you've got bananas,
but Cavendish cost 1.10.
200k of grapes at 2.50.
Where is he?
Down below.
Will you come with me?
Ah!
Hello, son.
Do I look any older?
I don't know. No.
I was wondering whether
I'd see you again.
- I'm here.
Well, that's great.
What are you doing?
Treating my eczema.
What happened with Peggy?
- What?
- Cancelling the wedding.
That?
Nothing. Just trifles.
What kind of "trifle" exactly?
A misunderstanding... over Francine.
- "Over Francine"?
- Yes.
Wasn't it finished
with Francine?
- Yes. And no...
It's more complicated than that.
This is
fish spa therapy.
Dad. Dad!
What happened with Peggy?
In fact,
I went to see Francine
to officially end it with her.
I wanted to sort things out
before marrying Peggy.
Then she asked for a last kiss.
I couldn't refuse her.
It's not done.
Peggy won't marry for that?
Well, one kiss led to another,
and another...
- He shagged her.
- So,
Francine wanted to do it
one last time, and,
and while it was happening,
I came over all weak,
and I had a bit of a turn.
Wait.
This means when you had your turn,
you weren't mending
the giraffe house,
you were, in fact...
shagging Francine?
You got off lightly.
Peggy could've murdered you.
I know.
But I won't accept it.
I wanted to tell you.
We'll pretend that nothing happened.
And?
- And?
- "And..."
I haven't cancelled anything.
Not the registry office,
or the guests, or the party.
We won't tell Peggy.
I'll need you.
You mistreat Peggy,
and what do you do?
Behave as if nothing happened?
I said I'll need your help.
Can we rely on each other, eh?
Obviously, she's in a state of shock.
She's sulking.
It's not easy.
But I don't think I should
let the opportunity go.
I'm sure, deep down,
she wants to marry me.
I've seen it in her eyes. I know.
It's now or never.
So, what do you think?
- Coline.
- It's ridiculous,
but you've got a nerve,
and you've no choice.
- You must go all out.
- Obviously.
Wait. What does "go all out" mean?
A beautiful wedding.
A band, a firework display,
a hot air balloon, clowns.
What are the clowns for?
To make people laugh!
It's a goddamn wedding!
It has to be fun!
You're humourless.
No.
I'm serious-minded.
Happily.
Coline's the serious one.
No, she's competent.
They're two different things.
Ask her how you'll pay
for fireworks and clowns.
You're broke!
Dad, when I said
you need to go all out,
I wasn't talking about razzmatazz...
But doing something to win her back,
just you, for her.
Understand?
I'll win her back.
That and more.
Is it really over with Francine?
And all your other ex-lovers?
- Do they know that?
- Yes.
- You sure?
- I don't know. Don't harass me.
I'll win her back.
Start what you've begun,
with the others.
- Leave them.
- Yes.
No shagging them.
Yes.
Phone them or text them.
- That simple!
- Not by phone...
But you must.
Fine.
You OK with that?
Women aren't beasts.
I didn't mean that.
I want to know if I can rely on you
for the wedding.
- Yes. OK. You can.
I bet you thought
I'd just take it lying down.
Eh?
Bunch of little wankers!
Chapter 2
A One-Woman Man
Invention number 1.
The baby floor cloth.
- Did you change their water?
- Yes, it's done.
Peggy, problem with
the squirrel monkeys.
- Can you come, please?
- I'll be there in 10.
No. It's normal wear.
Come and look.
They've dug here too.
Wild boar are trying to enter.
Last winter, it was foxes.
The enclosures are damaged.
The whole fence needs re-doing.
It needs to be set into concrete.
- Why not free up the funds?
- We can't.
It's vital, isn't it?
We don't have the funds.
We'll have to peg it down.
Unroll it.
- Stand it up.
- Yes.
- That OK?
- Yes.
Would you still have come
had you known
the wedding was off?
- No.
That's crazy.
Is it because of Dad?
No.
- Don't you miss it?
- What?
I don't know. Everything.
The space,
the wind,
the park.
I like the city.
And us...
don't you miss us?
I don't need to see you
every day.
- And the tourists?
Gaspard, look at me.
The Dutch girls,
the Hildes, the Saskias, the Famkes?
"Famke."
Wasn't that her name?
The one that took your virginity?
I didn't shag her,
you did. Remember?
- Stop.
- You did.
- Me?
Yes, you.
Virgil.
Look what we found.
It wasn't kids.
- No.
- I'll burn the body.
No. I'll do an autopsy.
- What do you think?
- Dogs, I reckon.
- Dogs...
- Yes, I've seen prints.
Maybe 2 or 3 of them.
I'm not sure.
Come down here.
Help me.
Shit!
My first failed mayonnaise
in 10 years!
I don't know why
I'm messing everything up.
- Can you make mayonnaise?
- No.
Never mind.
Hello.
Hello. I'm Laura.
- You came with Gaspard?
- Yes.
- Were you expected?
- No, not at all.
Sorry,
I'm not trying to be hurtful,
but sometimes I forget things.
I had a funny turn,
on the roof of the giraffe house,
and with the forthcoming wedding...
Have we met before?
We've never met.
Do you know where Gaspard is?
He's going round
with Peggy and Virgil.
They're checking fences.
- Want some tea?
- Coffee.
- Those your kids?
- Yes.
- The last of the Mohicans.
- Why?
Because it's all over for zoos.
It's finished.
Zoos will be replaced
by something different.
- Is that the bear?
- Yes.
- How old was Coline, there?
- I don't know.
2 or 3.
Coline is very intuitive.
She knows when the animals are sick.
She's the one most like me.
- Really?
- With all my faults.
Virgil is more like his mother.
A good manager.
Which is necessary too.
And Gaspard?
Something else again.
He was the most promising.
Good idea.
I'll show you something.
He was about 8
when he invented it.
I can't remember what it was called.
The mushroom...
The para something,
maybe.
Right...
Get ready.
I hope it'll work.
Brilliant, eh?
Yes.
But what's it for?
For finding corks.
Fun, but not a lot of use.
- Don't you like it?
- Yes, I love it.
- Has he invented much stuff?
- Yes, loads.
But he invented this for me.
Why don't I see him anymore?
Do you know?
It's my fault,
we're always together.
That's alright then.
You can go if you like.
I'll finish.
- Are you sure you'll be OK?
- Yes.
Didn't you want to visit your sister?
- Well... Yes.
- Well, go and see her then.
Take your time.
Take the whole afternoon.
Alright then.
Thank you.
Cécile?
It's Maxime.
You alright?
Listen, Cécile, you know
I like you a lot, but...
It's not easy to say,
but let's say
we need to stop seeing each other.
That's it.
I'm marrying Peggy, Cécile.
Yes. Thanks.
That's kind of you.
Alright.
Erase my number,
I'll do the same with yours.
No way, Isabelle.
There was never any question
of us having a child.
"Florence"?
Who's that?
Which Florence?
Oh!
The city of Florence.
Firenze, si.
I said I'd show you Florence?
But I've never set foot
in Florence.
Listen...
What's that?
Yes. Yes.
I will bugger off, yes.
This is the right music, Dad.
No, it isn't. Not at all.
Don't go getting ideas.
It's my wedding, not yours.
After my funny turn,
I need something...
a bit slower.
I've got an idea.
- What are you doing?
- Choosing
the song to open the dance.
It doesn't quite fit.
There's still time to alter it.
It's not my wedding, Max.
- You know?
- You're almost the same size.
But Peggy is slimmer.
I'm a bit more...
stocky.
Don't alter it.
It's difficult to imagine,
that's all.
What were you singing?
It was something on the radio.
Oh, you're making shakshuka!
Yes.
- Happy?
- Totally. Shall I crush the garlic?
Yes.
What did you do today?
I was with the guy
that does the evaporation pond
for the hippos.
- Oh yes, I know.
Isn't your mobile working?
I tried calling.
It's on the blink.
It doesn't ring anymore.
It works for some people then.
Go on, answer it.
It must be her.
Or another like her.
- Peggy...
- No, don't!
Stop it!
Can they survive?
Do they live for long...
- Hungry?
- No.
It's rare.
They die young.
Cats can live to 15.
- Called Janus cats.
- Really?
Like the god of Roman mythology,
with 2 heads looking
in opposite directions.
How did you and Gaspard meet?
On a train.
A train?
Which train?
The Brussels train.
- We were stuck...
- Will you let her speak, please?
In fact, I was dying of thirst,
and your brother
brought me some water.
Oh! How romantic.
- Yes.
- Where was your first date?
"First date"?
He took me to a bar.
Not very original, eh?
Actually, it was.
It was an ice bar, you know?
- What?
- An ice bar?
It's a bar,
entirely made out of ice.
Like an igloo.
They give you down jackets
when you go in.
It's really brilliant.
You'd have liked it
with your bearskin.
I'm not a polar bear,
in case you hadn't noticed.
Odd place for a first date.
No. I loved it.
Your brother was spot on.
You know this area?
I'm more familiar with
the Basque country.
- I'm off there soon.
- To do what?
To sell temporary tattoos.
"Tattoos"? Nice.
You need to show me some.
What? I've always wanted one,
but never dared.
- Am I too old?
- No.
- Is that it?
- I said nothing.
Who do you sell to?
To the people there.
To tourists...
Hanging round camp sites?
- Why are you so aggressive?
- Not camp sites.
We'll do the markets.
You do the August corn harvest?
I have done it, not this year.
She moves around,
discovering the world.
Drawing skulls
on fat tourists' legs
is called discovering the world?
Don't you work with tourists?
- He's defending her!
- You've never sold
fluffy toys to tourists?
- Not anymore!
- But you've done it.
- At 15.
You think I'm still a kid of 15.
- Well, I'm not.
- Really? What do you do?
I work in the kitchen every day.
600kg of food a day.
Marvellous.
But you sold fluffy toys,
dressed as a bear.
I was never
dressed up!
Don't throw food!
It's alright.
Don't panic.
Alright?
Invention number 27.
Shoes for not losing kids
in the street.
Invention number 42.
A tube for 2 to smoke together.
"The breadboard bird feeder."
This was quite some set-up.
You used a tube
that went outside.
Can't you stay for the wedding?
Not even if I wanted to.
"Shampoo protection."
"Shampoo protection."
Oh, that's super!
- Did you collate all this?
- No.
Was it your mum?
- No. It was Coline.
- Coline?
It's very dedicated work.
100 inventions,
all of them numbered,
indexed by type.
Amazing!
Can you put it back?
- Has she got a boyfriend?
- No.
- You sure?
- She's never had one.
Hang on.
Hasn't she ever slept with a guy?
- Guys don't like her.
- She's pretty.
What stops them,
apart from the bearskin?
- They say she stinks.
- Stinks?
You must have noticed.
Why does she?
Doesn't she wash?
Yes, she does.
Of course, she does.
It's the bearskin.
She could remove it.
It wouldn't help.
Her skin stinks even after a shower.
It smells strongly.
It's not very feminine.
Some men might like
that kind of smell.
A dustman, for instance?
You smell good.
You smell of cake.
A dustman. There's an idea.
Stop that, please!
- Let me smell you.
- No.
You're my girlfriend.
I'm not paid for that.
OK.
How much do you want?
I've got...
20 euros.
"20 euros", forget it!
To smell your tits.
No. Dream on.
- Your cleavage?
- No. Too sexy.
It's worth more.
- Your feet?
- No. Too dirty.
Your hock?
What's my hock?
It's there.
That's it for 20.
What now?
It's siesta time.
Alone, preferably.
Will you leave?
- I'm excited. What do I do?
- Work it out.
Be inventive.
It's me.
I'm in the bath.
Open up!
Open the bloody door!
I've got a thorn.
It stings.
Were you having a wank?
Make me some room?
- I want to be alone.
- I understand.
Go on.
It's cold!
Do you remember
Mum's bear wash?
You have to clean really well
between the toes.
- They're clean.
- Stop now.
- Are you doing that here?
- Why?
Since when did bears shave?
I want to feel smooth
beneath the bearskin.
I'm warning you,
if you leave hairs in my bath,
I'll piss in it.
Why were you so nasty to Laura?
What?
Did I upset her?
Leave her alone.
Are you in love or not?
I am.
- Can't you tell?
- Why ask me...
It's as if you need me to tell you.
You're a pain.
- What do you think about her?
- A sheep dressed up as a wolf.
She pretends to be a wolf,
but she's really a sheep.
Why did Virgil leave me
2,000 messages?
I don't know.
What did he say?
That you'd put on 10kg in summer,
from eating dried fruit.
And that you
slept most of the winter.
I can't help it. Virgil doesn't stop.
I need to, in winter.
Stop it, Coline! You're not
a bear needing to hibernate.
Aren't you taking it too far?
Shouldn't you be stopping
all this bear business?
No.
If Virgil leaves messages,
it's to make you come back here.
- Why would he?
- I don't know.
Why not ask him?
Chapter 3
The girl that ate roots
What are you doing?
Replacing Coline.
Is that OK?
It's fine.
What are these things called?
- It's okra.
- That's it. Okra.
Okra.
One okra, two okri.
Yes. Of course, I know.
Okri.
No, I'm having you on.
It's just okra.
- It's from Africa not Italy.
- Don't be a smartarse.
I'm not a smartarse.
You're only a waiter in a cafe,
sorry...
- What?
It's called wasting your life.
Take off Mum's hat, will you?
Where did you find it?
In the bedroom.
- I don't work in a cafe anymore.
- Really?
- What do you do?
- Repair lifts.
- What bullshit!
- It's not bullshit.
What do you know about lifts?
I learnt.
It's not difficult.
Cable, winches,
some electronics.
- Like it?
- Not really.
- You're mad.
You're made for the zoo.
Yet you repair lifts, right?
You should be doing my job.
You do alright.
But it doesn't come naturally to me.
You're the natural.
Okra and all that shit!
None of it's natural for me.
- Know who you remind me of?
- No.
Babou, the stupid orangutan,
always in a bad mood,
always hiding.
The others showed off,
but the public
all wanted to see Babou.
I never knew why.
- He was nice.
- He was a stupid macaque.
That's all.
People loved him, he didn't
deserve it. Just like you.
I never liked the ape.
I don't like you either.
Can you give me a hand, please?
You in a bad mood?
I haven't finished with the bad news.
- Go on, say it.
- We're selling the zoo.
Why's that?
Haven't you worked it out?
- What?
- It's why you're here.
You need to sign stuff,
I started talking
to the banks this summer.
- Let's get it over with.
- OK. Who's buying the zoo?
There's no buyer.
But the animals will be sent
to zoos abroad.
And Coline?
She doesn't know yet.
We're gradually trying to tell her,
we're taking it gently.
You're a real bastard.
I thought you cared
about her.
- What do you know?
Where were you?
I'm here every day!
Well, just tell her.
She'll smell it otherwise.
Coline!
Coline, there's a big cat!
There's a big cat in the garden.
- "A big cat"?
- A tiger, I think.
This size.
Oh, that's just Alaska.
He's a cub.
My dad lets him wander about.
- No worries.
- Really?
- A cub freaked you out?
- No, not at all.
It's a tiger. Your mother
was killed by one, wasn't she?
- You freaked out.
- No, I didn't!
Stop talking to me like that!
- Like what?
- As if I was a wimp.
It's Gaspard,
he said you were a sheep.
"A sheep"?
He said that?
"A sheep"?
A scaredy cat. Perhaps because
you're afraid of animals.
I'm afraid of animals?
Go on in.
Throw the chicks further.
No!
They mustn't feel your fear.
Too close!
Throw them further!
Just throw them!
Move away from them!
- Throw them further.
- All gone.
They're all gone.
Can you open up?
Open the door!
- Let me out!
- Calm down.
- Open it!
- But you're tough.
Open it!
Open the bloody door!
Where are you going?
I'm going to Biarritz.
"Biarritz"?
On foot?
- Hitching.
- Why won't Gaspard take you?
I'll take you to the petrol station.
Could you spare me one?
I need a smoke.
- You can use my name.
- No.
Don't you think Coline has
a weird relationship with Gaspard?
No.
She's madly in love with him.
It's obvious.
She's his little sister.
And?
All little sisters are
in love with their big brother.
They're clearly not your kids.
I didn't think you were selfish.
- I didn't think you were a puritan.
- It's not natural.
Animals don't mate
with their own family.
I know animals better than you,
and it's no fairy tale.
Male lions kill their young,
baby koalas eat their mother's shit.
They may be cute, but they suck out
their mother's arse.
So, if Coline is in love
with her brother,
it hardly threatens the species.
But it's not true,
about girls being in love
with their brothers.
I've got 2 and I'm not.
Didn't you admire them?
Weren't they your idols?
- And?
- It's the same. You loved them.
It didn't stop me
living a normal life.
For us, Coline has a normal life.
She lives in a bearskin,
has no boyfriend.
- That bothers you.
- She's lovely,
she should have men at her feet.
Don't worry about her.
- What time is it?
- 7.
Already?
What do I do?
Leave you here or take you back?
- Invention number 63.
- A1.
The back-scratch chart.
D3.
B3.
D6.
It must hurt though.
The skin is soft there.
Not necessarily.
It hurts some people,
but not others.
You're sensitive?
A bit.
Why are you here?
Is something...
No.
I was just passing.
Alright.
- You OK?
- Yes.
- Hello.
- Hello.
What's that, there?
"That"?
It's... It's nothing.
Another blanket?
No.
Laura, my mother
wasn't eaten by a tiger.
A tiger's claw cut
her femoral artery.
That's horrible.
Sorry to hear about your mother,
but I've had enough of all this.
I feel bad
and I want to feel better.
I'll take the train
and join my friend Chloe.
Recognise it?
It's the navel cleaner.
Invention number 143.
It's practical.
Mimis get stuck there
with new clothes.
- "Mimis"?
It's what I called them,
when I was little.
You invented it?
It's brilliant.
You're brilliant.
Apparently, you invented it
at the age of 7.
At 8, you invented
the champagne cork parachute.
At 9, the hands-free umbrella.
At 10,
the bubble wrap calendar.
So what?
And now you repair lifts.
That's crazy.
You think Coline will stop
wanting you if you're a loser?
No point pretending I'm your lover,
Coline's an animal.
She smells it,
she knows it's not true.
What's needed...
What we need to do,
is really become lovers.
You have to shag me,
really.
She wants you,
but so do I.
It turned me on
when you wanted to smell me.
Smell me now.
Properly.
- Over here.
- Gaspard.
Gaspard!
Taken by the hock.
Yes. they ran it ragged, and then...
ripped it apart.
There are dog prints everywhere.
The tracks suggest they weighed
about 15-20kg. Not massive.
Their prints were near the donkeys.
They must have got in there.
Or here, or over there.
There are openings everywhere.
- How many were they?
- 3. 3 sorts of tracks.
Think they're still there?
No. They're smart.
They barely touched this one,
it died of exhaustion.
What do we do then?
Filthy beasts!
- It's not the dogs' fault.
- Don't start!
It's because the zoo's run down.
Stop.
And listen to me.
Think I can't see it coming?
What you're all up to?
What's that?
Go on, tell me.
- How were you planning to tell me?
- Coline.
Selling the zoo?
You're all pathetic!
So sad!
So sad!
You can do whatever you want.
- So can you!
- No!
Because I'm not like you.
Without the zoo,
I've got nothing,
no one.
Hey, Coline.
Come here.
We won't abandon you, you know.
Did you say
that it was a female?
Yes.
Well, it's a male.
You need to look closer
at anatomy.
Good idea.
I want to show you something.
Tell me it's temporary?
No. It's a real one.
Your name and favourite animal.
That's so sweet,
but what if we separate?
We won't separate,
we'll get married.
Then it'll be for life.
Let's get married!
Say yes, Peggy.
Let's try.
I've changed, you see.
But I don't want you to change.
You should be yourself.
And what's all this marriage stuff?
I want to be like everyone else.
- "Everyone else"?
- Yes.
Why do you want that?
I don't know,
to be happy.
I don't particularly need
to be happy.
We're not like everyone else,
it's OK,
I love you.
I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
- I'm scared of it ending.
- What?
Everything.
The zoo, everything.
They're pit bulls.
Both of them.
Why do you say that?
It's not the first time.
The 3rd escaped.
I'll handle it.
No, wait, move away.
I'll fire a tranquiliser dart.
- What now?
- We saw 2 up there.
A black and a brindled one.
The brindle is here.
And the black one?
It got away.
Didn't Lionel see it?
- No. How big was it?
- Smaller. It's a female.
- It's not a female.
- Out of the way.
- Coline, what are you doing?
- Move away!
Coline, put the gun down!
Let me see.
- Sit down.
- I don't want to.
Coline, drop the gun!
Coline.
- What are you doing?
- Coline.
You're so crazy.
Move your hand.
He thought I'd shoot his girl?
It's nothing.
You'll just sleep.
- It's bleeding.
- You'll sleep now.
- I can't feel my leg.
- Stay still. Lie down.
Don't worry. It's normal.
Let yourself go.
- I'm scared.
- Don't be. Just let go.
Peggy's with her.
She'll sleep for a while.
What have you got?
- Apple, I think.
- I'd like one.
You're not in bed yet?
I'm so thirsty!
- What do you want?
- Water. The bottle.
Look.
Does it hurt?
Not much.
Pretty, eh?
- Out of petrol.
- Thanks.
- My turn?
- I'd already showed that.
Flat tyre.
No, I can't.
- You can. At the traffic lights.
- Yes! I can!
Yes, you can.
- Watch out. Petrol.
- I've a happy flat tyre.
- Virgil, your go.
- I think I'm winning.
I know, but...
It's your turn.
Well done.
He's got the cards...
Sorry, Dad.
Were we making too much noise?
Laura, I'd like to speak
to my children. Do you mind?
No.
Do you know the real purpose
of a zoo?
A zoo is culture.
A zoo is history.
It's our link with natural history,
and natural selection.
The history of forms.
You don't just put any animals
in the park.
A zoo...
The circuit the public follow
also tells a story.
But...
That's all over now.
It's obvious that the public
don't like it so much anymore,
looking at caged animals.
It doesn't make them happy.
They're critical of it.
The story the zoo tells,
falls on deaf ears,
they don't understand it.
For them, it's just a story
about caged animals.
Are they right?
I don't think so, but...
I'm an old fogey.
Anyway, it's over.
We're wrapping up.
Shutting up shop.
We'll give the animals away,
sell the park and the house, and...
That's the way it'll go.
We'll all live our own lives.
You've always been plucky kids.
And you'll look after one another.
I know it'll be alright.
I know it'll be alright.
Oh! Yes...
And Peggy doesn't want to marry me.
So, there'll be no wedding.
Epilogue
The Favourite
Oh, there they are!
The newly weds.
- Yes!
- Long and happy life!
Thanks, René. It's...
- My pleasure.
- It's great.
Classy!
- It's the one I wanted.
- Yes.
- Should've been my toaster.
- I know.
You can come and have
some toast at our place.
What's that?
It's my punch ball.
Who bought that?
Nobody?
Nobody. Fine.
Hang on, there's a card.
Can you come here a moment?
- Got something to show us?
- Apparently.
Oh yes!
It's for me.
What is it?
It's an okapi.
3,
2, 1...
Alright?
I'm alright, auntie.
My brother,
few people have been as loved,
cared for,
and pandered to, as I have.
I suppose it's what I wanted,
above all other things.
Our actions hide the child
in us, endlessly seeking
his family's love.
It's all I can suggest to justify
my being the favourite.
You've taken a decision,
to wed a vegetarian tattoo artist
who hates zoos,
and the way
they make animals suffer.
Coline told me that.
It's a good decision.
I've made a decision too,
not to come to your wedding
but to follow a girl I barely know.
Brother, I think
we're both going to be saved,
because the hardest thing in life,
is finding someone
you love more than your family.
Subtitles: ECLAIR
Gaspard and the Wedding
- What's going on?
- No idea.
We're here to stop
radioactive waste transportation,
and protest about the lack
of information on the convoy
passing through the area.
All we know is that 5 containers
of radioactive material
will come through...
I'm sorry.
Are you alright?
She's not very well.
- Who's got the key?
- Him.
Michel's got it.
Thanks.
I'll have some peanuts.
In fact...
In fact, I'm not with them.
With who?
Those protestors.
They were giving out free croissants.
I took one and followed them.
They handcuffed me to the rail.
What'll you have?
- A beer.
- 2 beers.
- You did it out of curiosity.
- You might say that.
You're a bit crazy.
Being hungry
doesn't mean you're crazy.
And you just trusted them?
Let's keep it informal.
Shit!
Leave it to me.
- Why stop me?
- You'd have hurt yourself.
- The train?
- Limoges.
"Limoges"?
I don't want to go there.
- Where are you going?
- Biarritz.
Oh, shit!
He's gone.
Do you have to go there?
Yes. More or less.
I'm meeting a friend.
Can't it wait a couple of days?
Why?
- I've got a proposition to make.
- What kind?
Right.
I want you to come
to my father's with me.
Just stay a while, then leave.
Why do you want me to go there?
He's getting married.
Well, married again.
I want someone with me.
It's not unreasonable
to want to go with someone.
Isn't there anyone else?
No.
Not at this precise moment.
I didn't plan it.
But when I saw you,
I thought you'd do.
- Your escort?
- No. But if that's how you see it,
I don't mind. Do you?
- No.
But no sex.
No. Perish the thought!
- It must be clear.
- It is. But your family
will guess immediately.
It will show.
No, it won't, you'll see.
My name's Gaspard.
Laura.
Is it a deal, Laura?
- I don't know.
- You owe me. I saved you...
I didn't ask.
I owe you nothing.
Do it for a laugh then.
Don't you like playing games?
And I'll give you, say...
50 euros a day.
3-4 days will earn you
some cash for Biarritz.
Why not?
Super.
- Are you scared of animals?
- No. I've had 3 cats.
Chapter 1
The Imaginary Girlfriend
This is totally crazy!
Don't you realise how lucky
you were?
- Perhaps.
- Growing up in a zoo!
What took you all this time?
My train was attacked.
I'll explain.
- Hello. Laura.
- Hello. Virgil.
- I can't come.
- Can I kiss the bride?
This is Laura.
- First I've heard about it.
- Yes.
- That's you all over. Hello.
- I won't shake
your hand.
- Maybe not.
Why were you
fisting that animal?
To analyse its faeces.
For its own good.
Oh, I see!
Want to see a caribou
born with 2 heads?
OK, yes.
Will you help me?
We'll join you.
Can you hold that, please?
- Have you been with her long?
- A while.
- You're not counting.
- Correct.
That's good.
Do you feel queasy?
No. I just need a little air.
- What's it like?
- Horrible!
Want to see it?
Later.
It's going well.
- Am I credible?
- Sure.
- They could catch me out.
- How could they?
I know nothing about you.
Real couples know a lot
about each other.
Like what?
Well, the kind of music you like,
for instance,
your favourite cut of chicken...
No need to know that.
Is there anything else
you feel you should know?
No.
Oh yes!
Where's your mother?
She was killed by a tiger
when I was a child.
Pull the other one.
It's true.
Oh, shit!
I'm sorry.
Gaspard!
They'll see we've nothing
in common. I've done nothing
and your mum was eaten by a tiger.
It's no big deal.
It's like she died in a car accident.
I would've liked my mother
to die in a car accident.
In fact, genuine couples
never agree.
"Our holiday, 2 years ago..."
"3 years ago."
That makes it seem genuine.
Should we kiss in front of them?
No. There's no point.
But what if we have to?
I'd prefer to have
tried it out first.
What, now?
We've done it now.
It'll be easier for me.
Yes.
Weren't you due earlier?
Yes.
Meet Laura.
Coline, my sister.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Only 4?
- We couldn't replace them.
- Why not?
- No time or money.
Are those auks?
- Penguins.
- What's the difference?
Auks can fly,
so they escape.
- Penguins can't.
- They're much more fun.
- How?
- They predict the future.
Oh? Really?
- Ask Gaspard. True or false?
- True.
The penguin
will answer any question you ask.
Got one?
- Yes.
- What?
Do you truly love me?
Right.
Now...
if it chooses the fish on the left,
the answer's yes,
I truly love you.
If it's on the right,
it's no.
OK?
What's that one called?
That's Findus.
OK.
Throw them both in the water.
3, 2, 1...
Which fish?
The right, the answer's no.
Oh, charming!
I think it could work.
The penguin oracle.
Perhaps.
For sure. All zoos
need a star animal.
- Findus the prophet.
- He's a charlatan.
You're only saying that
because you didn't like his answer,
but he may not be your Mr Right.
Sorry.
Know how the mother feeds her young?
- Shall I?
- No, don't.
Why not? She doesn't know.
It's instructive.
She does it like that.
We need to talk about this wedding.
- You ready?
- For what?
Peggy doesn't want to marry.
Shit, I knew it!
Is she panicking?
Peggy, panicking?
No.
Why?
Something must have happened.
I don't know.
Perhaps.
What shit!
- Is she leaving?
- Who knows.
Hope not.
Can you imagine?
Dad's already in enough trouble,
if she leaves...
- No party then, nothing?
- No. Obviously.
A week from the wedding,
it'll cost us a fortune.
- Unless you want to marry.
- Me?
I said it...
Just in case.
There's enough cake and guests...
- What will Dad do?
- I don't know.
He's got eczema.
Is it related?
- "Eczema"?
- Dead skin that's dropping away.
Could it be connected?
What a shit!
I didn't fancy coming,
but now...
- You could have said.
- She only just told us.
I wasn't born yesterday!
When did you find out?
Alright. Wednesday.
What does it change?
I don't know.
I wouldn't have come.
That's why I didn't tell you.
I wanted to see you.
The donkeys go in
and eat all the hay.
Leaving the deer with nothing.
Put it out tomorrow.
Perhaps we should block the door,
as the male donkey pushes it.
That's the technicians' job.
- We've already told them to do it.
- Perhaps lower it
to the middle notch?
- Or block the hatch,
so they can't lift it
and go underneath.
Coline, this job's for you.
Clean out
the mealworms in the kitchen.
- OK.
- It won't take you...
- I did it last week.
Hey!
What about Coline's coat?
It's a skinned bear,
it died when she was little.
And?
That's it.
Didn't you have a teddy?
No. A cuddly monkey.
- We had real bears.
- So...
she made a coat of one.
- Yes.
- Does she always wear it?
- Yes.
Visitors appreciate it.
Kids come to see her,
they know her.
In fact, it's not
just the skin.
Coline thinks she's a bear.
That she's part bear.
- You joking?
- I'm serious.
Obviously, she knows
she's not really a bear, but...
By the way...
I wanted to ask you a question.
Are you gay?
What?
- Why do you ask?
- I thought that...
I was here to convince
your family you're straight.
No, I'm not gay.
I like women.
I'll sleep on the floor.
- You can sleep with me.
- Sure?
Yes.
Unless it'll excite you too much.
It won't.
- Sure?
- Don't worry.
See you tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Thanks.
- Want one?
- Yes.
Does it affect you?
- It's OK.
- Fine.
Will you need me for long?
As long as possible.
I can stay till Friday.
Saturday, I must be in Biarritz.
Do you like my body?
It's OK.
Is that all you say "it's OK"?
You have a nice body.
My shoulders aren't too wide?
I like them.
- That's 66.
- He didn't include it.
Fine.
"Bananas."
So, you've got bananas,
but Cavendish cost 1.10.
200k of grapes at 2.50.
Where is he?
Down below.
Will you come with me?
Ah!
Hello, son.
Do I look any older?
I don't know. No.
I was wondering whether
I'd see you again.
- I'm here.
Well, that's great.
What are you doing?
Treating my eczema.
What happened with Peggy?
- What?
- Cancelling the wedding.
That?
Nothing. Just trifles.
What kind of "trifle" exactly?
A misunderstanding... over Francine.
- "Over Francine"?
- Yes.
Wasn't it finished
with Francine?
- Yes. And no...
It's more complicated than that.
This is
fish spa therapy.
Dad. Dad!
What happened with Peggy?
In fact,
I went to see Francine
to officially end it with her.
I wanted to sort things out
before marrying Peggy.
Then she asked for a last kiss.
I couldn't refuse her.
It's not done.
Peggy won't marry for that?
Well, one kiss led to another,
and another...
- He shagged her.
- So,
Francine wanted to do it
one last time, and,
and while it was happening,
I came over all weak,
and I had a bit of a turn.
Wait.
This means when you had your turn,
you weren't mending
the giraffe house,
you were, in fact...
shagging Francine?
You got off lightly.
Peggy could've murdered you.
I know.
But I won't accept it.
I wanted to tell you.
We'll pretend that nothing happened.
And?
- And?
- "And..."
I haven't cancelled anything.
Not the registry office,
or the guests, or the party.
We won't tell Peggy.
I'll need you.
You mistreat Peggy,
and what do you do?
Behave as if nothing happened?
I said I'll need your help.
Can we rely on each other, eh?
Obviously, she's in a state of shock.
She's sulking.
It's not easy.
But I don't think I should
let the opportunity go.
I'm sure, deep down,
she wants to marry me.
I've seen it in her eyes. I know.
It's now or never.
So, what do you think?
- Coline.
- It's ridiculous,
but you've got a nerve,
and you've no choice.
- You must go all out.
- Obviously.
Wait. What does "go all out" mean?
A beautiful wedding.
A band, a firework display,
a hot air balloon, clowns.
What are the clowns for?
To make people laugh!
It's a goddamn wedding!
It has to be fun!
You're humourless.
No.
I'm serious-minded.
Happily.
Coline's the serious one.
No, she's competent.
They're two different things.
Ask her how you'll pay
for fireworks and clowns.
You're broke!
Dad, when I said
you need to go all out,
I wasn't talking about razzmatazz...
But doing something to win her back,
just you, for her.
Understand?
I'll win her back.
That and more.
Is it really over with Francine?
And all your other ex-lovers?
- Do they know that?
- Yes.
- You sure?
- I don't know. Don't harass me.
I'll win her back.
Start what you've begun,
with the others.
- Leave them.
- Yes.
No shagging them.
Yes.
Phone them or text them.
- That simple!
- Not by phone...
But you must.
Fine.
You OK with that?
Women aren't beasts.
I didn't mean that.
I want to know if I can rely on you
for the wedding.
- Yes. OK. You can.
I bet you thought
I'd just take it lying down.
Eh?
Bunch of little wankers!
Chapter 2
A One-Woman Man
Invention number 1.
The baby floor cloth.
- Did you change their water?
- Yes, it's done.
Peggy, problem with
the squirrel monkeys.
- Can you come, please?
- I'll be there in 10.
No. It's normal wear.
Come and look.
They've dug here too.
Wild boar are trying to enter.
Last winter, it was foxes.
The enclosures are damaged.
The whole fence needs re-doing.
It needs to be set into concrete.
- Why not free up the funds?
- We can't.
It's vital, isn't it?
We don't have the funds.
We'll have to peg it down.
Unroll it.
- Stand it up.
- Yes.
- That OK?
- Yes.
Would you still have come
had you known
the wedding was off?
- No.
That's crazy.
Is it because of Dad?
No.
- Don't you miss it?
- What?
I don't know. Everything.
The space,
the wind,
the park.
I like the city.
And us...
don't you miss us?
I don't need to see you
every day.
- And the tourists?
Gaspard, look at me.
The Dutch girls,
the Hildes, the Saskias, the Famkes?
"Famke."
Wasn't that her name?
The one that took your virginity?
I didn't shag her,
you did. Remember?
- Stop.
- You did.
- Me?
Yes, you.
Virgil.
Look what we found.
It wasn't kids.
- No.
- I'll burn the body.
No. I'll do an autopsy.
- What do you think?
- Dogs, I reckon.
- Dogs...
- Yes, I've seen prints.
Maybe 2 or 3 of them.
I'm not sure.
Come down here.
Help me.
Shit!
My first failed mayonnaise
in 10 years!
I don't know why
I'm messing everything up.
- Can you make mayonnaise?
- No.
Never mind.
Hello.
Hello. I'm Laura.
- You came with Gaspard?
- Yes.
- Were you expected?
- No, not at all.
Sorry,
I'm not trying to be hurtful,
but sometimes I forget things.
I had a funny turn,
on the roof of the giraffe house,
and with the forthcoming wedding...
Have we met before?
We've never met.
Do you know where Gaspard is?
He's going round
with Peggy and Virgil.
They're checking fences.
- Want some tea?
- Coffee.
- Those your kids?
- Yes.
- The last of the Mohicans.
- Why?
Because it's all over for zoos.
It's finished.
Zoos will be replaced
by something different.
- Is that the bear?
- Yes.
- How old was Coline, there?
- I don't know.
2 or 3.
Coline is very intuitive.
She knows when the animals are sick.
She's the one most like me.
- Really?
- With all my faults.
Virgil is more like his mother.
A good manager.
Which is necessary too.
And Gaspard?
Something else again.
He was the most promising.
Good idea.
I'll show you something.
He was about 8
when he invented it.
I can't remember what it was called.
The mushroom...
The para something,
maybe.
Right...
Get ready.
I hope it'll work.
Brilliant, eh?
Yes.
But what's it for?
For finding corks.
Fun, but not a lot of use.
- Don't you like it?
- Yes, I love it.
- Has he invented much stuff?
- Yes, loads.
But he invented this for me.
Why don't I see him anymore?
Do you know?
It's my fault,
we're always together.
That's alright then.
You can go if you like.
I'll finish.
- Are you sure you'll be OK?
- Yes.
Didn't you want to visit your sister?
- Well... Yes.
- Well, go and see her then.
Take your time.
Take the whole afternoon.
Alright then.
Thank you.
Cécile?
It's Maxime.
You alright?
Listen, Cécile, you know
I like you a lot, but...
It's not easy to say,
but let's say
we need to stop seeing each other.
That's it.
I'm marrying Peggy, Cécile.
Yes. Thanks.
That's kind of you.
Alright.
Erase my number,
I'll do the same with yours.
No way, Isabelle.
There was never any question
of us having a child.
"Florence"?
Who's that?
Which Florence?
Oh!
The city of Florence.
Firenze, si.
I said I'd show you Florence?
But I've never set foot
in Florence.
Listen...
What's that?
Yes. Yes.
I will bugger off, yes.
This is the right music, Dad.
No, it isn't. Not at all.
Don't go getting ideas.
It's my wedding, not yours.
After my funny turn,
I need something...
a bit slower.
I've got an idea.
- What are you doing?
- Choosing
the song to open the dance.
It doesn't quite fit.
There's still time to alter it.
It's not my wedding, Max.
- You know?
- You're almost the same size.
But Peggy is slimmer.
I'm a bit more...
stocky.
Don't alter it.
It's difficult to imagine,
that's all.
What were you singing?
It was something on the radio.
Oh, you're making shakshuka!
Yes.
- Happy?
- Totally. Shall I crush the garlic?
Yes.
What did you do today?
I was with the guy
that does the evaporation pond
for the hippos.
- Oh yes, I know.
Isn't your mobile working?
I tried calling.
It's on the blink.
It doesn't ring anymore.
It works for some people then.
Go on, answer it.
It must be her.
Or another like her.
- Peggy...
- No, don't!
Stop it!
Can they survive?
Do they live for long...
- Hungry?
- No.
It's rare.
They die young.
Cats can live to 15.
- Called Janus cats.
- Really?
Like the god of Roman mythology,
with 2 heads looking
in opposite directions.
How did you and Gaspard meet?
On a train.
A train?
Which train?
The Brussels train.
- We were stuck...
- Will you let her speak, please?
In fact, I was dying of thirst,
and your brother
brought me some water.
Oh! How romantic.
- Yes.
- Where was your first date?
"First date"?
He took me to a bar.
Not very original, eh?
Actually, it was.
It was an ice bar, you know?
- What?
- An ice bar?
It's a bar,
entirely made out of ice.
Like an igloo.
They give you down jackets
when you go in.
It's really brilliant.
You'd have liked it
with your bearskin.
I'm not a polar bear,
in case you hadn't noticed.
Odd place for a first date.
No. I loved it.
Your brother was spot on.
You know this area?
I'm more familiar with
the Basque country.
- I'm off there soon.
- To do what?
To sell temporary tattoos.
"Tattoos"? Nice.
You need to show me some.
What? I've always wanted one,
but never dared.
- Am I too old?
- No.
- Is that it?
- I said nothing.
Who do you sell to?
To the people there.
To tourists...
Hanging round camp sites?
- Why are you so aggressive?
- Not camp sites.
We'll do the markets.
You do the August corn harvest?
I have done it, not this year.
She moves around,
discovering the world.
Drawing skulls
on fat tourists' legs
is called discovering the world?
Don't you work with tourists?
- He's defending her!
- You've never sold
fluffy toys to tourists?
- Not anymore!
- But you've done it.
- At 15.
You think I'm still a kid of 15.
- Well, I'm not.
- Really? What do you do?
I work in the kitchen every day.
600kg of food a day.
Marvellous.
But you sold fluffy toys,
dressed as a bear.
I was never
dressed up!
Don't throw food!
It's alright.
Don't panic.
Alright?
Invention number 27.
Shoes for not losing kids
in the street.
Invention number 42.
A tube for 2 to smoke together.
"The breadboard bird feeder."
This was quite some set-up.
You used a tube
that went outside.
Can't you stay for the wedding?
Not even if I wanted to.
"Shampoo protection."
"Shampoo protection."
Oh, that's super!
- Did you collate all this?
- No.
Was it your mum?
- No. It was Coline.
- Coline?
It's very dedicated work.
100 inventions,
all of them numbered,
indexed by type.
Amazing!
Can you put it back?
- Has she got a boyfriend?
- No.
- You sure?
- She's never had one.
Hang on.
Hasn't she ever slept with a guy?
- Guys don't like her.
- She's pretty.
What stops them,
apart from the bearskin?
- They say she stinks.
- Stinks?
You must have noticed.
Why does she?
Doesn't she wash?
Yes, she does.
Of course, she does.
It's the bearskin.
She could remove it.
It wouldn't help.
Her skin stinks even after a shower.
It smells strongly.
It's not very feminine.
Some men might like
that kind of smell.
A dustman, for instance?
You smell good.
You smell of cake.
A dustman. There's an idea.
Stop that, please!
- Let me smell you.
- No.
You're my girlfriend.
I'm not paid for that.
OK.
How much do you want?
I've got...
20 euros.
"20 euros", forget it!
To smell your tits.
No. Dream on.
- Your cleavage?
- No. Too sexy.
It's worth more.
- Your feet?
- No. Too dirty.
Your hock?
What's my hock?
It's there.
That's it for 20.
What now?
It's siesta time.
Alone, preferably.
Will you leave?
- I'm excited. What do I do?
- Work it out.
Be inventive.
It's me.
I'm in the bath.
Open up!
Open the bloody door!
I've got a thorn.
It stings.
Were you having a wank?
Make me some room?
- I want to be alone.
- I understand.
Go on.
It's cold!
Do you remember
Mum's bear wash?
You have to clean really well
between the toes.
- They're clean.
- Stop now.
- Are you doing that here?
- Why?
Since when did bears shave?
I want to feel smooth
beneath the bearskin.
I'm warning you,
if you leave hairs in my bath,
I'll piss in it.
Why were you so nasty to Laura?
What?
Did I upset her?
Leave her alone.
Are you in love or not?
I am.
- Can't you tell?
- Why ask me...
It's as if you need me to tell you.
You're a pain.
- What do you think about her?
- A sheep dressed up as a wolf.
She pretends to be a wolf,
but she's really a sheep.
Why did Virgil leave me
2,000 messages?
I don't know.
What did he say?
That you'd put on 10kg in summer,
from eating dried fruit.
And that you
slept most of the winter.
I can't help it. Virgil doesn't stop.
I need to, in winter.
Stop it, Coline! You're not
a bear needing to hibernate.
Aren't you taking it too far?
Shouldn't you be stopping
all this bear business?
No.
If Virgil leaves messages,
it's to make you come back here.
- Why would he?
- I don't know.
Why not ask him?
Chapter 3
The girl that ate roots
What are you doing?
Replacing Coline.
Is that OK?
It's fine.
What are these things called?
- It's okra.
- That's it. Okra.
Okra.
One okra, two okri.
Yes. Of course, I know.
Okri.
No, I'm having you on.
It's just okra.
- It's from Africa not Italy.
- Don't be a smartarse.
I'm not a smartarse.
You're only a waiter in a cafe,
sorry...
- What?
It's called wasting your life.
Take off Mum's hat, will you?
Where did you find it?
In the bedroom.
- I don't work in a cafe anymore.
- Really?
- What do you do?
- Repair lifts.
- What bullshit!
- It's not bullshit.
What do you know about lifts?
I learnt.
It's not difficult.
Cable, winches,
some electronics.
- Like it?
- Not really.
- You're mad.
You're made for the zoo.
Yet you repair lifts, right?
You should be doing my job.
You do alright.
But it doesn't come naturally to me.
You're the natural.
Okra and all that shit!
None of it's natural for me.
- Know who you remind me of?
- No.
Babou, the stupid orangutan,
always in a bad mood,
always hiding.
The others showed off,
but the public
all wanted to see Babou.
I never knew why.
- He was nice.
- He was a stupid macaque.
That's all.
People loved him, he didn't
deserve it. Just like you.
I never liked the ape.
I don't like you either.
Can you give me a hand, please?
You in a bad mood?
I haven't finished with the bad news.
- Go on, say it.
- We're selling the zoo.
Why's that?
Haven't you worked it out?
- What?
- It's why you're here.
You need to sign stuff,
I started talking
to the banks this summer.
- Let's get it over with.
- OK. Who's buying the zoo?
There's no buyer.
But the animals will be sent
to zoos abroad.
And Coline?
She doesn't know yet.
We're gradually trying to tell her,
we're taking it gently.
You're a real bastard.
I thought you cared
about her.
- What do you know?
Where were you?
I'm here every day!
Well, just tell her.
She'll smell it otherwise.
Coline!
Coline, there's a big cat!
There's a big cat in the garden.
- "A big cat"?
- A tiger, I think.
This size.
Oh, that's just Alaska.
He's a cub.
My dad lets him wander about.
- No worries.
- Really?
- A cub freaked you out?
- No, not at all.
It's a tiger. Your mother
was killed by one, wasn't she?
- You freaked out.
- No, I didn't!
Stop talking to me like that!
- Like what?
- As if I was a wimp.
It's Gaspard,
he said you were a sheep.
"A sheep"?
He said that?
"A sheep"?
A scaredy cat. Perhaps because
you're afraid of animals.
I'm afraid of animals?
Go on in.
Throw the chicks further.
No!
They mustn't feel your fear.
Too close!
Throw them further!
Just throw them!
Move away from them!
- Throw them further.
- All gone.
They're all gone.
Can you open up?
Open the door!
- Let me out!
- Calm down.
- Open it!
- But you're tough.
Open it!
Open the bloody door!
Where are you going?
I'm going to Biarritz.
"Biarritz"?
On foot?
- Hitching.
- Why won't Gaspard take you?
I'll take you to the petrol station.
Could you spare me one?
I need a smoke.
- You can use my name.
- No.
Don't you think Coline has
a weird relationship with Gaspard?
No.
She's madly in love with him.
It's obvious.
She's his little sister.
And?
All little sisters are
in love with their big brother.
They're clearly not your kids.
I didn't think you were selfish.
- I didn't think you were a puritan.
- It's not natural.
Animals don't mate
with their own family.
I know animals better than you,
and it's no fairy tale.
Male lions kill their young,
baby koalas eat their mother's shit.
They may be cute, but they suck out
their mother's arse.
So, if Coline is in love
with her brother,
it hardly threatens the species.
But it's not true,
about girls being in love
with their brothers.
I've got 2 and I'm not.
Didn't you admire them?
Weren't they your idols?
- And?
- It's the same. You loved them.
It didn't stop me
living a normal life.
For us, Coline has a normal life.
She lives in a bearskin,
has no boyfriend.
- That bothers you.
- She's lovely,
she should have men at her feet.
Don't worry about her.
- What time is it?
- 7.
Already?
What do I do?
Leave you here or take you back?
- Invention number 63.
- A1.
The back-scratch chart.
D3.
B3.
D6.
It must hurt though.
The skin is soft there.
Not necessarily.
It hurts some people,
but not others.
You're sensitive?
A bit.
Why are you here?
Is something...
No.
I was just passing.
Alright.
- You OK?
- Yes.
- Hello.
- Hello.
What's that, there?
"That"?
It's... It's nothing.
Another blanket?
No.
Laura, my mother
wasn't eaten by a tiger.
A tiger's claw cut
her femoral artery.
That's horrible.
Sorry to hear about your mother,
but I've had enough of all this.
I feel bad
and I want to feel better.
I'll take the train
and join my friend Chloe.
Recognise it?
It's the navel cleaner.
Invention number 143.
It's practical.
Mimis get stuck there
with new clothes.
- "Mimis"?
It's what I called them,
when I was little.
You invented it?
It's brilliant.
You're brilliant.
Apparently, you invented it
at the age of 7.
At 8, you invented
the champagne cork parachute.
At 9, the hands-free umbrella.
At 10,
the bubble wrap calendar.
So what?
And now you repair lifts.
That's crazy.
You think Coline will stop
wanting you if you're a loser?
No point pretending I'm your lover,
Coline's an animal.
She smells it,
she knows it's not true.
What's needed...
What we need to do,
is really become lovers.
You have to shag me,
really.
She wants you,
but so do I.
It turned me on
when you wanted to smell me.
Smell me now.
Properly.
- Over here.
- Gaspard.
Gaspard!
Taken by the hock.
Yes. they ran it ragged, and then...
ripped it apart.
There are dog prints everywhere.
The tracks suggest they weighed
about 15-20kg. Not massive.
Their prints were near the donkeys.
They must have got in there.
Or here, or over there.
There are openings everywhere.
- How many were they?
- 3. 3 sorts of tracks.
Think they're still there?
No. They're smart.
They barely touched this one,
it died of exhaustion.
What do we do then?
Filthy beasts!
- It's not the dogs' fault.
- Don't start!
It's because the zoo's run down.
Stop.
And listen to me.
Think I can't see it coming?
What you're all up to?
What's that?
Go on, tell me.
- How were you planning to tell me?
- Coline.
Selling the zoo?
You're all pathetic!
So sad!
So sad!
You can do whatever you want.
- So can you!
- No!
Because I'm not like you.
Without the zoo,
I've got nothing,
no one.
Hey, Coline.
Come here.
We won't abandon you, you know.
Did you say
that it was a female?
Yes.
Well, it's a male.
You need to look closer
at anatomy.
Good idea.
I want to show you something.
Tell me it's temporary?
No. It's a real one.
Your name and favourite animal.
That's so sweet,
but what if we separate?
We won't separate,
we'll get married.
Then it'll be for life.
Let's get married!
Say yes, Peggy.
Let's try.
I've changed, you see.
But I don't want you to change.
You should be yourself.
And what's all this marriage stuff?
I want to be like everyone else.
- "Everyone else"?
- Yes.
Why do you want that?
I don't know,
to be happy.
I don't particularly need
to be happy.
We're not like everyone else,
it's OK,
I love you.
I'm scared.
What are you scared of?
- I'm scared of it ending.
- What?
Everything.
The zoo, everything.
They're pit bulls.
Both of them.
Why do you say that?
It's not the first time.
The 3rd escaped.
I'll handle it.
No, wait, move away.
I'll fire a tranquiliser dart.
- What now?
- We saw 2 up there.
A black and a brindled one.
The brindle is here.
And the black one?
It got away.
Didn't Lionel see it?
- No. How big was it?
- Smaller. It's a female.
- It's not a female.
- Out of the way.
- Coline, what are you doing?
- Move away!
Coline, put the gun down!
Let me see.
- Sit down.
- I don't want to.
Coline, drop the gun!
Coline.
- What are you doing?
- Coline.
You're so crazy.
Move your hand.
He thought I'd shoot his girl?
It's nothing.
You'll just sleep.
- It's bleeding.
- You'll sleep now.
- I can't feel my leg.
- Stay still. Lie down.
Don't worry. It's normal.
Let yourself go.
- I'm scared.
- Don't be. Just let go.
Peggy's with her.
She'll sleep for a while.
What have you got?
- Apple, I think.
- I'd like one.
You're not in bed yet?
I'm so thirsty!
- What do you want?
- Water. The bottle.
Look.
Does it hurt?
Not much.
Pretty, eh?
- Out of petrol.
- Thanks.
- My turn?
- I'd already showed that.
Flat tyre.
No, I can't.
- You can. At the traffic lights.
- Yes! I can!
Yes, you can.
- Watch out. Petrol.
- I've a happy flat tyre.
- Virgil, your go.
- I think I'm winning.
I know, but...
It's your turn.
Well done.
He's got the cards...
Sorry, Dad.
Were we making too much noise?
Laura, I'd like to speak
to my children. Do you mind?
No.
Do you know the real purpose
of a zoo?
A zoo is culture.
A zoo is history.
It's our link with natural history,
and natural selection.
The history of forms.
You don't just put any animals
in the park.
A zoo...
The circuit the public follow
also tells a story.
But...
That's all over now.
It's obvious that the public
don't like it so much anymore,
looking at caged animals.
It doesn't make them happy.
They're critical of it.
The story the zoo tells,
falls on deaf ears,
they don't understand it.
For them, it's just a story
about caged animals.
Are they right?
I don't think so, but...
I'm an old fogey.
Anyway, it's over.
We're wrapping up.
Shutting up shop.
We'll give the animals away,
sell the park and the house, and...
That's the way it'll go.
We'll all live our own lives.
You've always been plucky kids.
And you'll look after one another.
I know it'll be alright.
I know it'll be alright.
Oh! Yes...
And Peggy doesn't want to marry me.
So, there'll be no wedding.
Epilogue
The Favourite
Oh, there they are!
The newly weds.
- Yes!
- Long and happy life!
Thanks, René. It's...
- My pleasure.
- It's great.
Classy!
- It's the one I wanted.
- Yes.
- Should've been my toaster.
- I know.
You can come and have
some toast at our place.
What's that?
It's my punch ball.
Who bought that?
Nobody?
Nobody. Fine.
Hang on, there's a card.
Can you come here a moment?
- Got something to show us?
- Apparently.
Oh yes!
It's for me.
What is it?
It's an okapi.
3,
2, 1...
Alright?
I'm alright, auntie.
My brother,
few people have been as loved,
cared for,
and pandered to, as I have.
I suppose it's what I wanted,
above all other things.
Our actions hide the child
in us, endlessly seeking
his family's love.
It's all I can suggest to justify
my being the favourite.
You've taken a decision,
to wed a vegetarian tattoo artist
who hates zoos,
and the way
they make animals suffer.
Coline told me that.
It's a good decision.
I've made a decision too,
not to come to your wedding
but to follow a girl I barely know.
Brother, I think
we're both going to be saved,
because the hardest thing in life,
is finding someone
you love more than your family.
Subtitles: ECLAIR