Gas! -Or- It Became Necessary to Destroy the World in Order to Save It. (1970) - full transcript

Ladies and gentlemen...

it gives me great pleasure to introduce
to you my commanding officer...

Gen. Strike!

Thank you, Archer.

It's indeed an honor to have with us today...

to dedicate this right wing of the chemical
biological warfare proving grounds...

here in Cholera, Alaska...

the chairman of the board
of flameout aeronautics...

the father of massive retaliation...

and the chief architect
of the military-industrial complex...

Sen. Chance Vaught.



- Senator?
- Thank you, Gen. Strike.

A pleasure.

Fabulous occasion, a boon to mankind.

Get your piece, old rake-off, more finesse.

The champagne, please.

Archer, you crud, where's the champagne?

Hurry!

Meeting, it's a pleasure, disorganized,
full report, heads rolling.

The bottle! Where's the bottle?

The bottle.

- Got it here!
- What?

Oh, yeah.

On this auspicious,
we are prepared, deterrent...

in the human enemy, animals.



Christen you, for Typhoid Mary.

Thank you, Senator.

And remember the motto of
the chemical-biological warfare unit.

To you, it may be deadly,
but to us, it's really a gas.

What the hell do you suppose
we use to baptize the building?

I don't know, sir.

But it's really going to screw up
our spotless safety record.

Good morning, Father.

I chased a hippie in here.

Aye? Could you describe him, my son?

Long hair, weird clothes.

Looks like a real troublemaker to me.

No, there hasn't been anyone like that
around the church for years.

My conscience is troubling me, Father.

I wonder, would you hear my confession?

Gotta make a phone call, mac.

Pearls after swine.

- Are you the one who phoned, Father?
- Yes.

Tell me all about that gas, my child.

I am Dr. Harvey Murder's mistress...

and lab assistant.

While we were studying
the aging process in man...

he discovered a gas that increases
the rate of neuron depletion.

You see, neurons begin dying off
in anyone over the age of 25.

That's when this gas gets them.

It causes death from instant old age.

Anyway, that's when the army got hold of...

And the army fucked it up.

Father!

It's a sin to say "fuck"!

I will forgive you, my child.

Father, I have to know,
is police brutality really a sin?

Only on Friday!

I'm guilty, Father.

For your penance,
you will demonstrate bicycle safety...

at the Black Panther convention
in Mobile, Alabama.

Mr. Vice President...

is it true a gas has escaped from
our chemical research center in Alaska...

that is killing everyone in the world over 25?

That is a malicious rumor...

peddled by the limp-wristed cadre
of perpetual students...

pseudo-intellectuals
and biased news media.

They're Medicare. I'm Medicaid.

I'm afraid there's no hope.

Say, "I'm prepared to pay."

They say there's no bliss
like that enjoyed by a man...

who knows he will be happy
in the next world.

I'm Morgue Catapult,
of the Styx funeral chapel...

in Highway Close, Mesquite.

Say, friends!

Were you really screwing Dr. Murder?

Screwing?

What a horrible word.
Where did you hear that?

I made it up.

Why don't you make up
a beautiful word for lovemaking?

I bet you can't.

Of course I can.

There's lots of beautiful words.

Turquoise.

Gian Carlo Menotti.

I like that.

Rainy day.

Deferment.

Fantasia sensation.

Fantastic.

The President of the United States.

As the result of a human error,
a mistake anyone might have made...

one of our gases has escaped.

I'm sorry to announce that I,
the former Vice President...

am now the President of the United States.

You're sorry?

I'd have insanity.

Survivors will erupt in violence
and bickering feuds.

I'm taking a sabbatical.

Yeah well, we just decided
to stay stoned, you know...

until the whole world blows over.

We will attempt to continue everything
approximately as it is.

Except on a smaller, more personal scale.

What happens to those who don't like it?

We'll take no guff from
the dope-smoking minority.

Laws are to be obeyed by all citizens.

The suicidal arrogance of ignorance
has presented us with a revolution!

And if we have to...

we will eliminate
the love-peace-flower-drug bunch...

as well as the reactionary goody-goodies!

This is no time for division!
You're the first to go!

Commie pinko!

This weirdo wants to talk to you.

So, you're one of the weirdoes.

Actually, I'm a creep.

Permit denied!

I didn't request a permit!

I came here to question your authority
to issue travel permits!

This is my authority!

This is all I need!

In my two years on the force, you weirdoes...

Creeps!

Creeps...

like you...

oinked at me...

abused me.

You creeps had all the power...

and this little piggy had none!

But now...

I am the law!

Say goodbye to Dallas, Cilla.

We've seen that kind of law
around here before.

I couldn't find any firewood.

Mein Gott!
You're not going to burn the books?

The collected works of Jacqueline Susann?

Think this will be enough?

Don't worry, there's a whole shelf
of Harold Robbins inside.

- Residual.
- Sapling.

- Resurrection.
- Maroon.

- Forsythia.
- Appaloosa.

Georgian!

Orgasm!

My car! My food! My supplies!

My ass!

There she goes.

Greatest little soul car in America.

See?

You go along the highway, picking daisies...

and pow!

Small print comes out of nowhere
and gets you.

Look, thief...

The name's Billy.

People call me The Kid.

Got the largest selection of used cars
west of the Mississippi.

The secret of my success?

Low overhead.

Like the way I came low over your head.

Honestly, mister...

You calling me honest?

Don't run.
He's looking for a reason to kill us.

Easy, Pretentious.

I don't have to kill them.

They can't dance.

Hey, hi!

You remember the Twist?

What started white America dancing again!

On your way, Jack. We've moved in here.

Property values always go down.

You picked the wrong one
to pull that honky humor on, boy!

That's just his way of making friends.

It's too late for that.
Too many people have died for your sins.

- Hi again.
- Bye again. They were just leaving.

Carlos, you must realize, the War is over!

Never!

This place is full of oldies but goodies.
You should see it.

The Kinks, The Five Satins,
Conway Twitty, The Byrds, Elvis.

You know, I kind of get the feeling...

She's kind of in another world, huh?

- You noticed?
- Yeah.

She has oldies but goodies.

I have mine.

Malcolm X, Spartacus,
Che Guevara, Robespierre!

Robespierre?

Is she with you?

Marissa's my lady, man.

But she's white!

The book, the gun!

Look, man, we all have our inconsistencies.

But that doesn't stop the revolution.

Does it?

Easy, Hoop, I got this man covered.

Coralee, you were supposed to
find us some food.

Did you, babe?

She did.

She ate it.

I am going crack-brained!

Do you realize that this whole store
is covered with rock 'n' roll hits?

Everywhere! Hits, hits, hits!

Marissa is our resident pre-pill
groupie bubble-gummer.

Yeah, I almost ate your bullet.

If you had the right fork,
you'd probably eat the music.

What say we go someplace, toots,
and really get it on?

I can never resist the sophisticated...

silver-tongued smooth talker.

She's with somebody, Horny.

Listen! I got a bitchin' idea!
What do you think about this?

What say we all listen to the golden oldies...

and sit around and reminisce about
the super sound of the '60s?

The sound of the '60s. A gunshot.

Rock 'n' roll!

From Motown to Liverpool,
from Woodstock to Memphis...

it was music that rocked the '60s!

Can't you dig it?

I mean, Chuck Berry got out of jail,
Elvis got out of the army...

the silver Beatles started,
the Stones rolled...

the Jefferson Airplane
landed in San Francisco...

and Dylan sang what was going down.

Are you on foot?

We had a car, but we lost it.

Where are you all headed?

We heard that everybody's getting together
in this groovy pueblo in New Mexico.

Want to come?

One hell of a long walk to that pueblo.

Especially with Lady Locust
eating a swath across Texas.

We can give you a car
to ride to New Mexico...

if you guys can use those guns.

You take us to where a car be...

and these guns say you worry no longer.

I used to be a rambler

Ran from here to there

But then one day I ran straight home

And stopped my rambling

When I first turned on the radio

And I heard Glen Campbell sing

All right, hold that note!

That's close enough, stranger.

I'm not no stranger.

We met this morning.

My hair looked neater then.

Enough palaver.

You've got 17 seconds to beat it,
or we open up.

Okay, let them have it!

Bronco Billy!

You fired first, mister. It's on your head.

Iron Eyes Cody!

Randolph Scott!

Johnny MacBrown!

Kim McCoy!

William S. Hart!

Buster Crabbe!

Fuzzy Navel!

Gabby Hayes!

Tom Mix!

Lee Van Cleef!

Jim Brown!

Hey, babe, he's the only one, you know?

Jim Arness!

Burt Lancaster!

Roy Rogers! Lash La Rue!

Ward Bond!

You're forcing me.

Gene Autry!

John Wayne!

Are you hurt?

I espied you from the proud tower
in the town.

Perchance I may be of service.

Thank you, Edgar Allen,
but we don't need your help, man.

My man, he really burned them.

There were no alternatives?

Maybe I could have winged them
with a Dale Robertson or a Clint Eastwood.

Things are going great! See?

Oftentimes I've heard those words repeated.

Yet again the Red Death
is visited upon the land.

We will survive.

The Edsel is faster than a speeding bullet.

Flight may be the most reckless solution.

Prince Prospero learned
that the wicked find no solace.

But we're not wicked.

Not as yet.

But now that you are
sole heir to our world...

you will have every opportunity
to achieve wickedness.

Hippie, baby!

This is Howdy Man Jack
talking the news at you.

Can you dig it?

We have lived four whole days
without the help of electricity...

jet planes, elder statesmen, New York,
smog and pollution.

That calls for a celebration.

Look for the big 66 in the sky, baby!

And howl!

They wanted us to die

But they were always dead

They planned to kill the enemy

But they killed themselves instead

They were always evil

Teaching about war and hate

They had their chance and blew it, child

And now they've met their fate

Come on, cats and chickies

You know what to do

Now there's no more adults

To try and bum trip you

It's the world that we all dreamed of

Come on, now's our chance

It's the world that we all dreamed of

Come on, now's our chance

It's the world that we all dreamed of

Come on, everybody, let's dance

- Come on.
- What?

Would you please come on with me
behind that screen and do it?

I'd rather masticate.

It's the world that we all dreamed of

Come on, everybody, let's dance

Hey, come on

I am A.M. Radio. I am a prophet!

I'm a leader! I'm God's road manager!

I'm here to tell you what's happening.

I know where it's at, man.
I tell it like it is. I sock it to you.

I am A.M. Radio.

All that and more. Yes, guys and girls.

Cats and kitties.

I'm as close to a God figure
as anyone who ever lived.

As a matter of fact, if I'm not the Godhead...

Get it, gang? God? Head?

If I'm not the Godhead,
will the real God play something for me?

This is the real God speaking.

Will the owner of
the dark-blue Mustang convertible...

license number TUV 525...

please turn off your parking lights?

Here we stand in the New World

We're gonna make it better

We're gonna start a new way of living

Can't you feel it getting together?

Tomorrow's the start of a brand-new day

Yesterday's cast and gone

What do they call you?

Zoe.

The beginning

This is

the beginning

Love each other every day

Forget about the way it used to be

We got ourselves a whole new thing

And everybody's going to be free

Here we stand in the New World

We're going to make it better

We're going to start a new way of living

Can't you feel it getting together?

This is

the beginning

This is

the beginning

Arrowfeather!

Zoe!

Arrowfeather!

Who was she?

A gift.

Did she make you happy?

I thought of another beautiful word.

What? Tell me.

No, I can't. It's personal.

It's private.

Zoe.

Arrowfeather.

Hold still, you little wildcat!

Not you, idiot! Her!

Let go of my foot!

Get her!

That's it!

Okay.

Up against the wall.

That's a penalty.

You're offside!

Five yards!

We demand an explanation!

You're officially Red Shirts
for the Warriors...

champions of the Texas gridiron of life.

You'll be given certain assignments.

If you carry them out,
you'll be applauded as part of the team.

If you fail, you'll be cut.

Into the truck.

The clock is ticking away.

Take your hands off me, man!

I'll break your balls!

We've gotta kill! We've gotta kill!

Okay, team, that was a lot better this time.

Now go back and do it again.

- And hustle!
- Right, coach.

I'm a little hard on you, because I like you.

You just may have a lot of Warrior potential.

But you've got to hang in there.

All right!

Remember, the bigger the wall,
the harder they fall.

Now, run it one more time.

Beat 'em on your left

Beat 'em on your right

Dynamite, exterminate, fight, fight, fight!

Jason, I won't be able to play tomorrow.

It's the old shoulder injury.

You coward!

I'm ashamed of calling you my brother.

Listen, when the One Great Scorer
comes to mark against your name...

he marks only if you've won or lost...

not how you played the game.

You're starting tomorrow, Brandon!

Warriors are lovers

Warriors are tough

We're so busy cheering,
they never get enough

Now for the instant replay.

Jason, keep your eye on Number 30.

That's young, blond Dave Carnegie
from Odessa, Texas...

a boy to watch this season, a real comer.

You call that a rape?

You let her score!

Now go do it again.

I'll work with you later.

That's the Mole.

- He doesn't talk.
- Hi, everybody.

- It's on.
- What's on?

The escape.

Thank you.

All right, hold it down.

That's enough!

Okay!

Listen up!

Warriors, tomorrow's the big one.

The big one!

The one we've been aiming at all season.

Tomorrow, we're going to sack El Paso!

You all know El Paso's a good city.

And on any given Saturday,
she can be a great city.

And I don't have to tell you
that El Paso's going to be up for us!

I only hope we're ready for El Paso!

I guess you know I take a great deal of pride
in each and every one of you people.

But I've got to tell you
that after the way you looked today...

I don't know if we're
good enough to beat El Paso.

And I'm sure the films
will bear me out on this.

If you think El Paso is just another sacking,
you are wrong!

We could go bigtime if we beat El Paso.

Top ten.

Bowl bids.

But if you Warriors can't show
a little more barbarism...

we're going to get ourselves skinned
out there tomorrow.

The only thing that counts is winning.

And to win, you have to want to win.

And what does the Great Coach in the Sky
call that?

Spirit!

Did someone say "spirit"?

Yes!

- Are we going to beat El Paso tomorrow?
- Yes!

- What are we going to do to El Paso?
- Burn it!

- And the El Paso personnel?
- Kill them!

- Who is?
- Warriors!

- One more time!
- One more time!

Kill them!

F- A-S-C

l- S-T

Yeah, fascist!

Don't let them get away!

Hitler, Hitler, he's our man

If he can't do it, Jason can

Two, four, six, eight, who do we annihilate?

Everybody!

I think I found the front door!

Over here.

Why is it only two bedrooms?
No southern exposure!

Cheer up, baby.
I'll find you a doctor in Socorro.

I'd rather have an architect.

What is this place?

You don't understand! I'm fine!

Drop that fluoride, you Commie anarchist!

Sounds like it's empty.

Sounds like it's out of tune to me.

Could you bring me back some chow mein?

Won't fit in the canteen.

I'm Dr. Drake.

I can give you a bogus prescription
for 30 ccs of Methedrine...

and there's an albino druggist
in Waxahachie...

and he can fill it for you...

for $25.

Or I can get you 100 five-grain caps for $50.

What'll it be?

We don't have any money.

Listen, there's lots of money in medicine.

I can get you into
any medical school in the country.

We've got a problem.

If you haven't got the grades,
you can tell them you're my son.

Hello, Agnes, can you hold all the calls
for the next 30 minutes, please?

- Where are you taking me?
- House call.

Wait a minute!

I don't dig the house-call jokes...

or the anti-doctor humor
that's rampant in this country.

What seems to be the problem?

A girl's going to have a baby, Jack.

Tell her to take an aspirin,
and call me if it gets worse.

- Get the door, Hoop.
- What are you guys doing?

Everything's all right. It's okay, I'm coming.

Get her legs.

If I'd only taken karate lessons
instead of ballet.

Help! Police!

Did you see that?

Darn anarchists.

Hey, you.

You can use my car
but it's going to be an extra charge.

Come on!

We can do it here.

Well, boys...

I'm first. I'm the oldest.

Like hell. I'm first, I'm the toughest.

- But I'm the best.
- I'm the fastest.

- I'm the slowest.
- I'm the sadist.

- You're first, shorty.
- This is none of your business.

I'm the rapee,
I should have something to say.

You're next and then you.

Come on, honey.

Everything's going to be all right.

Are you all right?

Everything's going to be all right.
This is Dr. Drake.

I think you got the spelling wrong.
It ends in an "E".

He's going to deliver the baby.

All right. Everybody out!

Rip up the water and boil the sheets.

There's something I have to ask you.

Are you now or have you ever been
a member of any organization...

that advocates the violent overthrow
of the government of the USA?

- Yes.
- Which one?

The Paul Revere and the Raiders Fan Club.

Marissa, are you pregnant or something?

Yes.

Since when?

Since Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels
played the Astrodome.

Marissa, it appears
you're going to have a baby.

Coralee, how long's Cilla been missing?

A couple hours.

Hooper, help me look for her, will you?

Raincoat Harry!

Dr. William Beardsley speculated...

that when the sexual needs
of contemporary women...

are manifested overtly,
becoming akin to those of the males...

the male's basic sexual drives
could be altered drastically.

But as Dr. Mary Louise Velour answered:

"Work it out, fellas."

Okay, hold it.

Who can move?

I'm not cold.

Did they?

They say, "If it's going to happen,
you might as well lay back and enjoy it."

- "Lie back."
- Anyway, I found a new word.

What?

Arrowfeather?

Zoe!

Listen to me! Listen!

You were wonderful, really,
but I just decided against it.

It's a sign that she absolutely refuses
to have a baby.

I just can't bring a child
into this kind of a world.

Maybe later.

Huh, Carlos?

I've been watching you people
for some time now.

Who are you, anyway?

I'm a Texas Ranger...

of the Texas Rangers.

Though steeped in tradition
and glorious history...

we still remain the most modern...

forward-looking, peace-keeping agency
in the world today.

Your breath smells like Tootsie Rolls.

I'm sorry...

It's been a long, lonely stakeout.

I'm out here looking
for some runaway slaves.

If you hear anything
you'll let me know, won't you?

Remember, we always get our man.

No, that's the Mounties.

We don't like your type in these parts, kid.

Dirty, unwashed, hippie anarchist
coming into Texas.

Texas, man? This is New Mexico.

- That's right.
- New Mexico?

No wonder I feel so ineffectual.

I'm out of my natural environment.
Pardon me, ma'am.

Have a good day.

It's our image.

We're scaring people.

Sloppy, dirty, long-haired, food-stained.

We've got to immerse ourselves
in respectability.

Dress invisibly.

Like the silent majority. Fit in.

Conform.

Levine's! I think I have an account here.

We all do now.

I got one left in the roll.

Let me get all of you.

Now smile.

- Good.
- A country club!

Fore!

Look, our kind of people.

We'll fit right in.

- Hi, we're...
- We know who you are.

- Who am I?
- Don't get metaphysical.

You're the filthy trash
who tear up and down the fairways...

crazy with dope smoke and cheap wine...

seducing young, innocent girls,
while us decent folk foot the bill.

Get the marshal!

What's going on here?

We caught this riff raff...

just about to rip off
our beautiful course, Marshal McLuhan.

No, we were just playing through.

I say we run them out of town.

That's not the American way.

Underneath those ridiculous clothes
and destructive attitudes...

there beats a heart crying,
"Give me another chance."

Who knows?

They may be just around the dogleg...

from good citizenship.

Everything you need to make it here
is in that machine.

Opportunity...

security...

self-respect.

One day, you may be wearing this insignia.

And that's democracy in action.

You know,
a good woman is like a steel brush.

Think about it.

When I was your color, son...

I made up my mind to be head pro here.

I used to go home at nights and I'd say...

"Someday I'll own this place."

What's happening?

I'm escaping.
I can't stay another minute in this sand trap.

What about opportunity, future, head pro
and all that jazz?

Not with an 18 handicap on this course.

If this isn't Heaven, don't tell me!

I love it!

Hop it up, Coel!

Marissa!

Marissa, come on, we're leaving.

No, I can't leave.

This is old-time, Carlos! Old-time!

- Carlos, you've got make her.
- What about the baby?

This may be the best place
for the baby and me.

Come on, Carlos!

Come on.

I hope you find what you're looking for!

They're escaping.

Chop them down.

All right, men!

They're approaching the 14th green
approximately 180 yards out.

Four iron, men.

Grip!

Stance!

Swing!

They're heading for out-of-bounds.

Driver, men.

Grip!

Stance!

Swing!

Grip!

Stance!

Swing!

Swing!

Swing!

Swing!

Swing at will!

Which one is Will?

We'll bomb them back to the Stone Age.

Swing for effect!

- Which one is...
- Swing, stupid!

You men may be asking yourselves,
"Why are we here?"

May I tell you why?

If they take the 17th fairway,
the 15th and 16th will fall immediately.

But we've got more pressing problems
right here in our own club.

This club will be run by the democratic
process whether you like it or not.

The tournament committee has ruled...

that you can't pursue them
across the water hazard.

The committee bears investigation.

There's an internal security problem here.

But your brother's on the committee.

The membership committee would like
to know when you plan to withdraw.

I refuse to be pinned down to any timetable.

Look what the army left us!

More surplus food!

My kingdom for a can opener!

At least we found out that 1938
was a good year for creamed chicken.

Kentucky-fried, baby!

I heartily recommend the diced asparagus.

Coralee!

What's the matter?

What?

Hooper, you know my deepest, darkest fear?

It's been realized.

I've lost my appetite.

That's wonderful.

I may waste away into a dwarf.

At least a dwarf can get a little.

They only need a little.

You know what they say, Coralee:

"Love...

"is a two-headed monster."

Hooper, coming to grips with one another.

When can I make you happy?

Fortunately, I do have the rest
of the night off.

Are you feeling any of this?

I'm feeling a little hungry.

I knew it.

Hoop, you know what?
When I'm finished eating...

you know what we'll do?

We'll loll upon the silken sheets
and we'll commune with Eros.

Can't you think of a better word for it
than that?

What was that? A bomb?

It sounded more ironic than that.

What happened, Hoop?

Where's Coralee?

What's wrong?

She ate and ate...

smiling and glowing.

And then one small...

final anchovy...

Pop!

Hoop, don't blame yourself.

Just think of how happy she was
when she went off.

It was almost perfect.

I want to be alone.

I hope you find a girl and fall in love.

You can bet if Hooper finds love,
he'll fall in it.

If we've learned anything from all of this...

it's that some of us are just never satisfied.

I thought it was: "People who eat army food
often end up dead."

They started out full of promise,
and new ideas.

Are they really any different, Lenore?

They've seen the signs.
They've been warned.

Our dear friend Roderick Usher was warned.
And yet he persisted.

He was your creation.
You could've kept him from falling.

Sometimes we lose patience.

Even with our own creations.

Don't I know it, Edgar?

We come in peace for all mankind!

Yes we do!

Operator.

Where the hell were you
when there was somebody left to call?

- What is it, white eyes?
- One small step for man...

Cool it! You've been singing that tune
for the last 500 years.

Are you hostile or something?

Did I give that impression? I'm sorry.

I'm too stoned from the celebration
to be hostile.

Are you celebrating an Indian ritual?

- A victory, paleface.
- What victory?

Haven't you noticed?
We've got America back!

They're just tourists.
Bring out some of the usual crap.

We can't afford to buy anything...

Listen, sweetheart.
It's our turn to be generous now.

Everything you gave us,
you can have it all back.

A shitty doll made in Fire Island.

Hopi rugs woven in who knows where?
Japan.

Take it all back!

Your schools, your God...

your booze, your silly smallpox
and especially Columbus Day!

Thanks for everything,
but we can live without it.

But you don't understand...

He just gave us back the English language.

What took you so long?

These four came in on a magic yellow horse.

- Brothers and sisters, welcome!
- Thank you.

We have a couple of questions
about this place.

I know the answers. Every one of them.

I had a rousing speech of welcome.

The hell with it! I'll wing it.

We're all here...

in this pueblo...

because we want to be.

We can all make a contribution...

by doing what you enjoy doing.

There's food, shelter...

friendship and love here.

There's no violence. None.

No thought of it. Only love.

The speech goes something like that.

Beautiful.

- But does it mean anything?
- Not yet.

But we can give it meaning if we live by it.

We're anxious
to make this pueblo come alive.

And we can only do that with people.

What's this?

The National Park Service left all of this.

Just follow the arrows.

Pueblo Heights, take three. Go, baby.

Hi, folks.

Have you ever envied
your 17th-century friends...

when they talk about
the fabulous land buys...

they made on Manhattan Island
300 years ago?

Are we recording?

- Sure, man. Want a hit?
- Put that away.

How many times have you asked.

"Where do I go when it's all over?

"Where's the place to be after
the next boom hits?"

It's time you considered
the pueblo of Acoma...

the oldest continuously
occupied city in North America.

Our cultural center consists
of an arsenal museum...

a symbol of the evil of the past...

and a library,
a symbol of the good from the past.

The paths are in. The corn is in.

The grass is in!

Light industry is in.

But freeways, steel mills,
and pollution are definitely out.

Acoma is completely capable
of supporting herself.

We grow our own, man.

Hiking facilities
are within easy walking distance.

I can't make it, man.

Now is the time to act
if you want to get in on the ground floor.

However, if you desire a choice view...

you'll want to get in on the top floor!

Wrap it up, man. We're running out of tape.

If this is what you're looking for,
this is what you're looking for.

Groovy. Take a hit of this, baby!

Pueblo Heights, take four.

Hi, folks...

8:00 and all is well.

I always wanted to do that.

There's a lot of things
I've always wanted to do.

Maybe you can start here.

Good morning, children.

Good morning, teacher.

I'm Coel, your substitute teacher.

Now then.

Today's lecture concerns
hallucinogenic research.

- How psychedelic.
- Quiet, Soren.

Science was in the process
of developing a pill...

which, when taken,
would produce a motion picture...

which would play on the inside
of the eyelids.

How advanced were they?

They have been able to reproduce...

some of the great musical blockbusters
of the '30s.

But only in mice.

What you're saying is that some
of our largest drug manufacturers...

would become film studios.

I rather thought of it in terms
of some of our largest film studios...

becoming drug pushers.

Remember meat?

Oh, yes.

Every spring when the meat stalks...

would push their way
through the frozen earth...

and in the summer...

running through the meat fields.

And the meat harvest in autumn.

You're having
a protein-deficiency hallucination.

Any survivors?

Step aside.
I'm in the crucial stages of the countdown.

- What are you doing?
- I'm clearing the fuel lines...

for the great leap forward
towards the peaceful settlement...

of the Industrial Revolution.

Watch the gas leak this time around, Werner.

Ginny!

As my ex old lady might say...

Your ex old lady?

Ex old lady.

She'd say:

"I dig this pueblo. I'd give it a 95.

"I like the words...

"and it has a nice beat."

What about revolution?

To be continued.

- Let's start an ancient legend.
- Okay.

If you come to this pool
when the first breath of winter blows...

remove all of your clothes
and dive into the icy water...

- You'll freeze your ass off!
- No!

You'll find the key to happiness,
the key to wisdom, and the key to love.

You found one!

The Sahara of Las Vegas.

As morally repugnant...

as it is to me...

I feel that we have no choice but to re-arm.

Our very existence is threatened.

We must...

defend our home.

What happened to no thought of violence?

The first time we're threatened...

we run to the museum for the weapon.

My mother told me to be a lover,
not a fighter.

What choice have we?

Can we allow these Warriors
to walk in and sack us?

The only way we can beat the Warriors
once and for all...

is to become better fascists than they are.

We've got to do better than that.

The only good fascist is a dead fascist.
I need action.

You're getting all the action you need
in your cubicle.

It's the kind of action we take.

Let's try and talk to them.

Welcome to our pueblo.

Thanks, coach.

How's it going, Hoop?

As a Warrior rookie...

I get first pick of the pueblo girls.

After we sack you.

Enough studding.

We have several non-negotiable demands
which simply boil down to this:

We want all your fruits and vegetables.

That's all the food we have.

My people are dying from malnutrition.

Man does not live by meat alone!

Meat. I remember meat.

Why don't we barter?

You hunt and raise cattle...

and we'll grow the vegetables and fruit.

What do you say?

No more dusty trails...

or road games.

No more barbecue.

Fruits.

Impossible.

It's too late. We're already committed.

If you're smart...

you'll put up one hell of a fight.

My men are counting on it.

Gentlemen, start your engines!

Twenty minutes.

We must resist their aggression.

Resistance doesn't necessarily
mean violence.

I'd like to break that joker's face.

Jason's a tyrant.

Those who fail history...

are destined to repeat the course.

We've done it the other way for 10,000 years.

It has to be my turn.

Okay.

Soren! I want you to be the look-out.

Affirmative.

This is a cheap sandlot trick!

I gave at the all-star game.

They're going to kill us all.

Forgive me, Che.

What is happening?

What's happening?

Do you think I can toss out my military
training and fire on the Red Cross?

Hi.

My name's Rosemary.

Hi, Rosemary-baby.

Get back here,
or you'll never make the Warrior team.

Who needs it?

I thought you were on my side.

Live with us in peace. It's right.

I feel a sign coming on.

Yeah, sudden-death quarter.

How's that for a sign?

That was hell of a sign.

Hi, everybody.

You can come out now.

Aren't they all going to rape, cheat, steal,
lie, fight and kill, Edgar?

Nevermore.

- What do we do now?
- Arrowfeather.

Jesus, shall we fire up the golden chariot...

and descend to Earth?

Sure, Pa.

But this time, you go first.

You should live so long!