Gam gai 2 (2003) - full transcript

Hong Kong, 2003

Hong Kong, 2046

You found him yet?

No... the Peak is a huge place

He sounded quite unstable
over the phone

Careful with what you say to him

Also... don't ever tell him who you are

I know, I know... you talk
too much as a 90-year-old

Tung Chee Hwa Memorial?

Probably a dead end street

We have to invest
in the Hong Kong Dollars!



Just sell all US Dollars and buy HKD...

Delete one year...

Delete two years...

Might as well delete them all!

Nah, one year is good enough

But I've only known Lucy for two months

Hey! My pills...

What are you doing with my pills,
old lady?

Pardon me! I'm supposed to look 35!
I spent millions on plastic surgery

Which part of me looks like an old lady?

Which part of you doesn't?

You sound like one, you walk like one

And you smell like one

Gimme a break, I'm over 80 years old



I knew it! Why looking 35 anyway?

You can't fool anyone

So easy to rip off an old granny

Just give me back my pills

Don't take these pills

It will wipe out your memory

That is exactly what I want to do

My girlfriend dumped me

I've been dumped more times
than I can count

You've been dumped too?

It's no big deal young man

Looking back on all my years, even the
saddest one offers sweet memories

Let me tell you about the year 2003

2003?

That's the toughest year for
Hong Kong people to swallow

This chicken looks like you

How much is it?

It's got a huge breast!

Go to hell!

This is a temple for god's sake!
What' you think you're doing?

It was an accident...

What's going on?

Wow, fat boy, you really scored

But it slipped!
No kidding.

How about a New Year cash pocket?

Just one pocket?!

She deserves more!
Her cup size is 34C!

Bad number.
,
out... another bad number. out
,

Good number. in!
,

All the best numbers are here

Remember...
Don't worry, there won't be any mix up

Excuse me... coming through...
pardon me...

Hey, mister, got a light?

Sure

Thank you!

What's going on?

Please give Kum a lucky number
and a happy new year

Better be a lucky one!

Number 4... bad luck!

Here we go again... come on,
lucky number...

Number 10, good enough! Thank you!

Kum...
What number did you get?

The best number of course

Excellent!

I'm gonna be rich n' famous!

Someone is taking pictures there

Is it a movie star?

I know him!
Who's he?

The new Secretary for Home Affairs
Dr Patrick Ho

His wife was once a famous star

Dr. Ho too become famous having
made history that day

Like all former Secretaries. Ho came to
draw the number of luck for Hong Kong

But since I took all
good numbers reserved

for him. he scored the lowest of the low!

We... we all try our best for Hong Kong...

I win!

You're winning too much! Get up
before everyone starts to hate you

Hurry, hurry...

C'mon...

Fanny...
Yes

Bring in all the gifts from the outside

Son of a bitch!

Watch you mouth

My in-law doesn't know
that I was an escort

Try to act like a lady

Fresh chick on the farm!

Congratulations! I'm so happy!

Here, $500 a pop... nope,
$1000 a pop! This is the last pop!

It feels like the good old days
working in the night club

But we're wearing the real jewels
tonight and no more dildos

Snack?

How about Karaoke?
Okedoke. Karoke!

But it's late!

Darn. it's because of this new hairdo.
it took me hours to set

I could have popped 3 customers
and made a bundle

Quite a dress you get there

You notice?! It's some Italian designer
called Ferfanla something

You dressed well too back then
stealing all my limelight

How come you breasts
get so big and soft?

Perhaps you want some noodles?

No thanks, I'm full

BB Lin.
what happened to your Big Breasts?!

Go away!

How come these breasts
... is one sided?

My mother-in-law!

Congratulations, ma'am!

Honest to god, this one breast
you still got is in mint condition!

Enough!

Let's play mahjong!

I haven't played in a long time

How about $120 for a game?

Why is everybody going to
the toilet all of a sudden?

Or am I waging too little?

Gimme a bowl of crab meat noodle

But the banquet is starting, ma'am

But I want noodles! I am hungry now!

Kum

They're serving shark's fin! Come eat

Nah...

You crapping or what?

Cut the crap and grow up, girl

You are like a sister to me

You too shall get married
and settle down one day

It's the best number in this temple!

It says you're getting married this year

That's crazy! With whom?

Just find someone! Or you'll be cursed

But you've just say I got the best number!

It's a curse

You sure
you're any making sense here?!

Reading fortune sticks is a
very complicated science

I am Mr. Wong, not Mr. Wrong

If it didn't come true. come
kick my ass next year!

So I shall get married this year?

To be an eligible potential bride...

... I shall become someone proper

Starting with getting myself a proper job

Kum, stocking up condoms?

Kum, I saw your new pornsite!

Kum, great costume! Let's do more
role-play at your place later tonight

Forget to tell you, this is
buy-one-get-one-free

I'm only here to buy Pomlemon drink

It's on the other aisle. Kum!

A bit further...

I thought I was a low-key prostitute

Turns out. I was red hot

Subject to popular demand, I returned
to my improper trade

Kum.

Mr. Chow!

You've scared me... what are
you doing here so late?

It's Chinese Valentine's day today

Since we are both lonesome singles,
I've come to cook you a good meal

Let's have some
good family fun together

Let me help you

No need, just go take off your clothes!
I'll fetch you when I'm done

Kum, you're like my soul mate,
but fate keeps us apart

That's quite a presumption...
Afraid to be stuck with me?

No. but I don't want to be
a burden to you

Those who sail together have
acquainted for a hundred years

Those who sleep together have
acquainted for a thousand

What we've been through in bed
practically makes us husband and wife

Let's drink to that

You're so strange today

You served me dinner
and read me poetry

What's up with you?

A loving man in a loveless world
...how can love be endured?

Endure what?

Oh... my stomach is feeling funny...

Mr. Chow, you done?... Hurry!

Wait!

Did you wash your hands before
you cook or what?... Quick!

Use this first, I just took
a dump and it stinks inside!

You must be kidding!

Why don't you turn on the ventilator?

I'll crap in the kitchen,
don't you come in!

Kum!

You've scared me twice tonight!

Let's do something kinky tonight
Like what?

It's a new SM mask

Put it on... you look better already

I feel like an astronaut

It's so much fun
Already too much, Mr. Chow

I can't hear you

Let's take turn wearing it

Wait for me in bed with your eyes shut

You're really strange tonight

Still not done yet?
Almost!

You're panting hard and coughing too!
Perhaps we should stop

Don't talk, keep going!

Let's have a break, or someone will die...

Let's take a break

What's that smell?

So smoky...

What have you done?

You're out of your mind!

Why are you burning coal in my house?

What's wrong with you?

Mr. Chow, are you trying to kill yourself?

Why?

I just want to have fun before I die

You want me to die with you?

No, you won't

With the mask on, you would be okay

You're so silly... there's nothing
that can't be resolved

Business at my diner
is hitting rock bottom

I owe people tons of money

Only death can rid me of my troubles

I have some savings, I can lend you a bit

Really? No wonder...

It's always dark
before the sun comes up

Kum, you're one in a million

I promise to you, I'll never let you down

I'll make you a business partner
you will become a boss

A boss?

No one would hire me anyway.
this way, I can hire myself

Yes! I'll help you!

You are so kind!

Are you getting your second wind?

Just to return your favor!

Let's strike while it's still hot

Kum

Mr. Chow.

I'm dying...

Is it good?

New Suicide Venue:
Charcoal Grilling at One-Chick-Brothel

I finally become the boss
of Chow's Diner

Unfortunately, the first customer
I served was SARS

How dare you shaving
your legs in the public!

But the latest research says that
body hair carries the most germs!

Armpit too?!
You becoming a woman or what?

Rather be a living woman
than a dead man

Got to wash hands for 15 seconds...

1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10...

I'm so very clean!

Not a strand of hair left
I'm snow white clean!!

I'm silky n' smooth n' creamy like lard

I could have made
the best of custard tart

So you became a boss, that's cool

Not really...when SARS attacked,
every thing went into a coma

Many people died too

People died?

Yes! SARS was a real killer.

How can people die from SARS? I too
have caught it several times this year

One pill usually takes care of it

I was talking about 40 odd years ago!

Next thing you' gonna say is
cancer killed too

Of course cancer killed!

Back then...

Everybody went crazy

Hong Kong is under the attack of SARS

12 more people died of SARS today

5 had no complications
with any other diseases

31 more cases are confirmed
with SARS infection today

Antibody to the virus is still not found
in any human subjects

One Cathay Pacific flight attendant
was confirmed with SARS infection

The death toll continues to rise steadily

With the addition of 6 new
deaths reported yesterday...

The overall fatality rate is reaching 6%

I've got customer!

Don't close the shop till I get back

4 minutes and 48...4 minutes and 49...

4 minutes and 50...4 minutes and 51...

Coming...

No rush, take it easy

You... aren't you...

I work part-time in the diner downstairs

Sorry to keep you waiting

Don't you remember me?

Sure, you're one of my regulars!

Scrub your shoes on the sterilizing
mat before you come in

Better be safe than sorry

This way please... and your name?

I am Chan

Nice place
Can I take your temperature?

You don't mind, do you?

Let me take yours too...

I have my own...

Your thermometer is nice

D.I.Y.?
Sure

37.3 degrees Celsius

I win, 97 degrees, Fahrenheit

We are both fine then!
Let's take a shower

With germs everywhere, I'd better
shampoo your hair too

Take off your glasses

Be careful with my eyes
Of course.

In the meantime. can we start
Sure

Please scrub my back
Okay

Are you comfy?
Very...

Do you want a head massage?
Yes... and no!

I can't see clearly with you wearing this

What do you want to see?

Which hand of yours is holding
the scrub? Right hand

How about using your left and hold
the faucet with your right?

What are you doing?

How come you don't have any hair?
I've shaved it off

Fatty's chicken is shedding quills

Fatso's dog is barking for a meal

Fatty explodes all the way

She calls the police
and makes Fatso pay

My...you're quite a bathroom singer!

I sing in public toilets too
got quite a reputation for that!

Really? Keep singing!

Fatty's chicken is shedding quills

Fatso's dog is barking for a meal

Fatty explodes all the way

She calls the police
and makes Fatso pay

Don't just watch me, bathe me

Let me scrub you down there then

Can you use the side with sponge?

Feel better now?
Much better

Come here
What are we doing the Saran wrap?

Who knows
if sweats won't transmit SARS? TRUE

It's much safer this way right?
Right

You can even lose weight
Quite right

Let's switch side
Why?

Why don't you stand there and
I'll wrap myself towards you

With the Saran wrap
and the anti-SARS soup

we're all set to have safe sex

Soup?... I haven't had soup in
a long time, my dear wife

So you are into husband and wife?

Why not wrap it down there too, honey?
Be Careful

Don't break it though

Enough?

No, you need a lot of
wrapping down there

It's too tight!
I'll loosen it up...

Better?

How come...

... I don't see any hair here?

How come you are hairless?

What's wrong?

I am really tired... can I rest for a while?

But I'm ready for...

That was quick!

The SARS outbreak at the Amoy
Garden Complex is escalating

185 residents have been infected so far

The Health Department quarantined
Amoy's contaminated

Block E at 6am today...

...imposing a 10 days segregation
to all Block E residents

All access to the building is denied
Mother...

Amoy is quarantined!
How can I go home?!

Home?
I live in Amoy Garden Block E!

Amoy Block E?!!!
Why didn't you tell me earlier?

What're you doing in my bathroom?!!!

Gotta look for hair

Don't ruin my bathroom! Come out!

C'mon out!!

What happened to your hair?

Let's make a deal, I'll take you
as a regular after you're cured

If I can't see it, perhaps I can taste it!

Where can I find hair?!

Don't crap in my toilet or you'll
pass me your SARS virus

Don't give me any SARS crap!

C'mon out!!

This isn't body hair!

Help! Someone's crapping!

Help!

I need some time to think about
how to rescue my mum!

How about $500 a day for room
and board without sex!

Let me stay, I know you're very kind...

I slept with him already

If he is indeed a carrier. it wouldn't
help even if I threw him out now

Above all, he's paying more than
what the diner can earn...

Deal!

Black bean ribs on rice to go, please

You want the soup of the day as well?

We have anti-SARS
pig lungs soup today

I'll have iced tea

Black bean ribs on rice...

... and iced tea to go!

That's the doctor who took
care of granny last year!

You recognize him with the mask on?

It's him!
His hospital is now a SARS ward!

Let's go!

Keep the change

Sorry, I'll wait outside

Bloody, now I have to sterilize
the whole place all over again

I'm sorry to have troubled you

No, not at all

Doc, do you live nearby?
How come I've never seen you?

Well, I can't return home these days and
I've rented a place around here to crash

I saw you guys on TV

You guys don't go home for
fear of infecting your family

There's no one left inside.
come eat inside

Come...
I'd rather not trouble your staff

Come...

You chicken shit!
I don't want to die...

I believe that the disease can
only be transmitted by droplets

Thank you

I'll have soup ready for you tomorrow too

Cold drinks kind of weaken your lungs

If you're making soup with pig's lungs,
make sure it's clean and fully cooked

How about cleaning it
with diluted bleach...

Bye

Bye

He has some pretty eyes...
wonder if he has buck teeth

Get me pig's lungs tomorrow!

What's this pain all over?

Am I infected?

Perhaps some Vitamin C
can suppress it

Gimme your wallet!

Gimme money!

Nah... Let's try Bruce Lee

One. two. three...

We're living
in different ends of the world

You live your own life, and I live mine

If we ever get to run into each
other on the street one day

We might nod to one another...

...and then, fall speechless

Because I might no longer know you

All I have in my mind is that...

...I miss you

Who made me fall in love so deeply...

...made me as gentle as clear water...

...offered me tranquility...

...freed me from my constrains...

...reminded me of my innocent dreams

...redeemed my heart and soul...

...and let me fall asleep in peace

What are you doing?

Why did you rub my armpit with brandy?!

Brandy can boost your hair growth

Let's wait n' see

You, pervert!

I'm dying here, and you're
putting a nail to my coffin?!

Gimme a break! Go find
yourself a hairy chick!

You're sick?

I am dying!

I could be having SARS...

Don't die, honey...

Don't leave me!

I have an idea!

Wait for me. I will be back soon!

Get in!
Keep quiet!

Kum!... you keep quiet!

What is it?
Kum...

What are you doing?

I've brought you Hong Kong's
best SARS doctor. Dr Man Ko!

Why cover his head with a plastic bag?

Not just one! Here's another one!

Take it off!

And one more
from the convenient store!

Let me take it off

You're not the Dr Ko I saw on TV!
Dr Ko ain't handsome!

I'm Dr Ko. W. Man: not Ko. F. Man

But it says Ko, F. Man
on your clinic door!

It says Ko, W. Man!

F. for Forever Man, W for Water Man!

What 'you doing?...
Pardon me. excuse me

Hurry up and let him go,
you troublemaker!

What...Wait...!

Can't you see she is very sick?
You're a doctor! Go help her!

No...

Get into the room...Go diagnose her!

Excellent! Lots of ear wax...

Good girl...

Okay...

Lots of eye crust...

Okay... good girl...

Lots of snort too...

Turn over

Hold still, let me feel the stomach

Got any diarrhea?

No...

Constipation?

No

Of course not!
Smelt your own stool?

Smelt others?

You're nuts! I've never!

Tasted your own stool?

Hell, no!

Tasted the others?

You think I'm crazy? Of course I didn't!!!

Hold... good girl!

Hold her

I'm going to take her temperature

Wow!! Pretty Girl! Yeah!!

Why do you have to stick it there?

Why are you blowing into my ass?!

I have to blow your hair out of my way

But she is hairless

Is this a prank or what?!
Are you two are in this together?!

Are you really a doctor?!
Of course I am

Where did you go to school?
Hong Kong University!

I have a PHD degree!
I am a veterinarian!

You mean vegetarian?

Veterinarian, not vegetarian!!

What is that?
Animal Doctor, stupid!

Who's stupid?!

Yet. I'm still a doctor
I can identify a common cold

She didn't cough
throughout the examination

It isn't SARS, just a cold

By the way...

Your gun looks exactly like a dummy,
but your love for your wife is so very real

Good!

You're fine then!

Happy Diner!

Pork chop on rice and the soup
of the day to go please

Doctor Mask?

I'll wait outside
Oke-doke!

Pork chop on rice!

Extra slice of pork chop and
an extra large bowl of soup!

Please sit...

Here's the soup... I cleaned
the pig lungs very well

I cooked it with bleach!

Just kidding... but it's extremely cooked

Come have a seat

Thanks
Have some soup.

You guys must be exhausted?

It's been very tense for
all of us at the hospital

It's like we are going to snap anytime

I used to be a masseuse

Let me give you a back rub

It will loosen you up

No need...

Boss! Pork chop on rice

So fast? You sure it's cooked?

Is it hot enough?

It's micro-waved

I'll give you a massage next time then

My wife... used to give me
massages once in a while

But you don't see her lately

You've got to release your stress

A good meal will do just that

Okay

I forgot to pay you last time

How much?
No need

My treat

My compliment to the ground
zero medical workers

Finish the soup first

Since then, he dropped
by almost every night

I did the talking most of the time

And he just listened

I thought we got to know
each other really well

But I'm not sure if the feeling is mutual

Ouch?! That hurts!

What are you doing?

How come your hair still hasn't grown?

Pervert! You've almost torn off my skin!

That's impossible

Let me see

You bloody pervert!!!

Honey...

Let go! I don't want to go down with you!

Don't go! I'll find work!
Please don't leave me!

I have done this before I married you

If I can do it, what do you care?

Just wait a little, we will be okay soon

I doubt if the loan sharks will wait for you

Let go!
Don't go!

Don't...

Don't what?

Don't be a prostitute!

But I do that for a living

No husbands would want
their wife to prostitute

I can't lose you, please...

Did your wife become a prostitute?

Honey!

We've gone through
so much to be together

Don't you give up now!

Honey...

Her hair?

Honey

Why did you leave me with
only a single strand of hair?

Your wife left you

She became a prostitute

And left you a single hair

What am I saying?!

I can't lose you, honey...

He's such a sad soul

I really wanted to help

While I was off-air...

A friend and I talked over
the issue of Vitamin C

We've come up with an idea
that when classes resume...

We can sponsor a bottle of
Vitamin-C to each student

The Health authority thinks that...

During the epidemic,
Radio Cheng inspired movements like

A mask for a citizen

An orange for a senior

& A bottle (of Vitamin C) for a kid

He also inspired me on how
to help Chan find his wife

I too started a movement called
A strand of hair for a bowl of soup

I placed an ad on the Escort Chicks'
Website asking my peers to show up

With a strand of her body hair
in her hand...

... any woman would be entitled
to a free bowl of soup

I could have never guessed that
so many sisters turned up...

...under the scrutiny of public
eyes just for a bowl of soup

Obviously, it was a really
difficult time for everyone

Hey grandpa, you're a man!
It says a hair for a soup!

I have hair

Sorry, female only, tell your wife to come

I don't have a wife

Granny, why are you here?

To trade some soup

But granny, you've got to be in
the sex trade to join this queue

Go home, granny,
your hair is no good here

It's been taken so long...
Anyone working there?!

I came here soon as I get up
this morning and I still am in the queue

How much longer do I have to wait?

The soup smells good and it
makes my stomach grind...

Do you know her at all?

It's you!

She was here this morning for the soup!

Nutcase!

Excuse us

Thank you, any more soup tomorrow?

No more!...We've given out
more than 500 servings

Lucky I thickened the soup with
corn flour or we won't last

Sorry, we are done here

I'm not here for the soup

I am the person you're looking for

We found her! C'mon in!
Hey, is she the one?

Get up, she could be your wife!

You know him?

Don't you?

Get up...

Do you know him?

Thank you for all you've done

I was only trying my luck
... but here you are!

How come you always go missing?

He does? Not you?

He has looked for me many times

But he can't recognize me

Every time, I send him back
to the psychiatric hospital

And soon, he manages to escape again

We've been doing this over and
over again for a few years already

Missy, keep stroking my hair.
it feels good

You can keep these biscuits

Don't mess around, okay?

Okay

Missy, keep stoking my hair.
it feels good

Perhaps you should trade your
handbag for my biscuits

You can't chew on your handbag

Forever!

Over there...Hello!

Forever Man.
,
I am back! I've got biscuits!

F. Man is for Forever Man.
W. Man is for Water Man

I graduated from HKU...

You are mocking Forever Man!
Where did he go?

F. Man is for Forever Man.
W. Man is for Water Man

Where are you hiding him? Say it!

I have a PHD degree
Spit it out!

I am a veterinarian

Thank you

The Department of Health
announced today...

2 private hospital workers
are diagnosed with SARS

The number of infected medical
workers continues to rise everyday

Over 300 cases
have been reported so far

The sudden influx of patients is costing
enormous pressure on the medical staff

Its administration is seeking relief
from hiring temporary staff

... The first case of death
to public hospital medical staff......

...who contracted the disease
at work occurred today...

Doctor Mask?

Are you closed?

No, not at all...let me cook for you

Gimme a few minutes...
what would you like?

I'm not hungry

I just want to release the stress

Your muscles are so tight

You sure are all stressed out...
Been staying up all night?

You should find some time
to see your family

Like those medics reported on TV...

They stood by the windows to
wave at their family downstairs

You should try that

Want me to press harder?

You okay?

What happened?

Zero infection

The Health Department announced
no newfound infection today

The accumulative total of the
infected remains at 1755

Hong Kong finally triumphs after 3 months
of struggling against the epidemic

WHO officially announced
the removal of

Hong Kong from the list
of infected areas

Just when the SARS epidemic
is dying down

Another infected doctor at the ICU

passed away after being admitted
a week ago

Adding one more lament to Hong Kong...

The funeral of Doctor M.K.Chau
took place at the

Hong Kong Funeral Home today

Nearly a thousand people
attended the ceremony...

The July 1st Demonstration
started at around 3pm

Demonstrators were led by several
elected democratic representatives

Giant slogans against the legislation of
the Code 23 were seen everywhere

Chief Executive accepted Security Secretary
Regina Yip's resignation today

Financial Secretary Antony Leung resigns
Effects immediately

What happened to
Hong Kong afterwards?

Now you see why
we should keep our memory?

But you know what
Hongkongers are gifted at?

They're gifted at forgetting

You don't need those pills, stupid

Back then after the SARS epidemic,
they invited some soccer players over

The 11 soccer players deserted
Hong Kong right after the match

But then we got 1.1 billions
of comrades hopping over

I can tell fortune too

I can see that you're going to
meet the love of your life

Her prediction is usually very accurate

Take my sister for example...

You've accounted all the way to October

What about the marriage prediction
from the temple?

Did it deliver or not?

It did

Right on the October first
the National Day

But then, I'd rather it didn't

Coming...

Hi, boss!

Cousin!

Cousin?

A cousin...how sappy!

The two of us were destined
to be nemeses

Cousin!

Cousin!

You've grown pretty

What brings you here all of a sudden?

I've just arrived from the mainland

Can I stay here for one night? No sex

No way!

We're family...

Since when?

You've never acted like one
unless you need help!

Look, it's raining outside

Let me in and talk later

You must go when the rain stops

Nice place you've got here, cousin

Have you eaten yet?

Yes I have
I had some veggie dumplings

I can tell by the cabbage
stuck between your teeth

You should have told me early on!

It still there?

I've been looking for you for some time

Lucky me,
I spotted your webpage on the net

I came all the way just to see you

Why bother? You can get a room
in a motel or a hooker down the street

It's been 10 years already, cousin
... don't sulk anymore

See my hand, I'm divorced

Come on

Should I congratulate you then?

To tell the truth, I've been quite
happy since the divorce

So why are you here?

I have a business proposition

What kind of business?

Then I'd have to go all the way
back to 1980

Granny, stop teasing me! 1980?

Don't think you can finish by evening...
perhaps I should go take a leak now

I'm afraid I might not remember
what to say when you return

But I really need to pee...
Just speak faster then

That would take at least 45 minutes

Year 1980

Someone get the door!

Is it Quincy?
Yes it is!

C'mon in!

Come meet your Uncle

Uncle

So here you are

Go put your stuff in Kum's room

Go on, it's just down there
behind the curtains

Don't touch my cards

Don't bother me, I'm studying!

Anyone?

I am changing! Don't come in!

Cousin

Told you not to come in!

Kum, I'm your cousin Quincy!

You see, we have two Mahjong games
and eight players talking out there

It's noisy as hell

Then I spot you through the curtain
and see you doing nothing

So I come in for refuge

What are you doing?

Uncle told me that
I can use the upper bunk

Don't tell me you're living here!

I know, I might cause you inconvenience

But hey, blood is thicker than water

I depend on you to sacrifice just a little

Enough...
you talk as much as my teacher!

Cousin, you're quite an observer

I've earned exactly an education degree
and I was an honored student

What a coincident!

I earn a living after classes and
I have the honor in school as...

Beauty

Beauty?

I don't think you really
know what Beauty means

I'll explain to you later

Your perfume stinks like shit today!

You stink more!

Wanna order, jailbaits?

Bug off, ninja turtle!

Yo, let's get out of here!

But the fish-balls here are yummy!

Four orders of fish-balls
with long thick noodles

Long and thick, huh?
That will suit you just fine

Asshole!

I was meant to pay you a compliment!

Hey! Four bowls of fish ball noodles!

I'm going to take a leak

Everyone says fish-balls
makes good money

Bull

Perhaps I should try
starting my own shop!

Cousin!

Cousin!

Cousin, you work here?

I am following your suit
joining the fish-ball trade

But this is a fish-ball stall.
not a Fish-Ball Parlor!

Is there a difference?

Are you done yet?

Take this...

Cousin, how about getting
me a job at your parlor?

They only hire young girls!

Are you saying sexual discrimination
still exists in Hong Kong?!

You won't understand

Move over!

Hey, watch where you're going!

You four-eyed chick

Your skirt's too short
to cover the acnes on your thighs -

you've scored an SD or what?

It's you who score, Cyst-head!

I shouldn't have been polite with you

Four-eyed-big-boobs-ugly-bitch!

I think the both of you
owe her an apology!

I don't think so!

Then you think wrong!

And that reveals your lack of education...

... your lack of cultivation
lack of manners.

Lack of knowledge, lack of discipline...

Lack of parenting, lack of a home...

Hang in there

You're pretty tough

To a real man like me.
this is very minor pain

What doesn't kill me would
only make me stronger

You're such a cool guy

But don't stand up for me again
when I get bullied next time

Those boys are brutal

No way! Blood is thicker than water

Love is...
Enough...

However.
if you're feeling a wee bit guilty

There's this one thing you can do...

Do what?

Just guess

You are such a money-grubber!

Not exactly

I just want to start a business
of my own someday

A chicken farm for you?

I passed by the market a few days ago

I notice that eggs are dirt cheap but
chickens are darn expensive

So I thought, what if I hatch
the chicks out of the eggs?

I can raise them and make
a big profit selling them!

You are a genius!

All you need is this -

Knowledge is fortune...
I'm a new immigrant,

but I don't need to be a hick my whole life

Career is the most important thing
for men

Depend on no one but your self!
That's where respect comes from

Cousin, I know you will make it!

Quincy works hard n' Quincy eats tart!

Cool! Do it again!

Quincy works hard n' Quincy eats tart!

How come I can't follow?

I'll do it slow. follow me

Quincy-works-hard
and Quincy eats tart!

Again!

Quincy works hard n' Quincy eats tart!

Get out of bed!

Let me sleep a bit more

No way! You have the college
entrance exam today!

Let me sleep... I'll fail it anyway

There is this saying,
You can only succeed if you try

You haven't even tired. how do
you know you're going to fail?

And without failures to learn from.
how can you ever succeed?

What are you doing?

Helping you change!

Get me my glasses first

Here, take it

That's quick!

Get up!

I'm still very sleepy

Let's go!

I want to pee...

The toilet is that way, go!

Hurry up! It's almost time!

It's almost time! Run faster!

What's up, cousin?

I twisted my ankle

Let's go home n' fix my foot...

No way!

Persist and you'll win!

I will carry you!

But I'm heavy

Come on!

What is it. cousin?

I hurt my back...

What are we going to do?

Don't worry about me!
Go take your exam!

I don't think I can make it...

Okay...
Quick!

Just for you, I'll try to get
at least one point

Hurry!

Bye, cousin!

You didn't twisted your ankle, you liar!
See ya!

Keep going!

I did it!

What?

Cousin...

Cousin...

Cousin!

Did you watch the Phoenix?

Yep! Chow Yun-Fat
and Dodo Cheng are in it

They kissed for an entire minute!

They were drooling all the way!

Darn right! So much saliva!

Let's try it ourselves

Okay...

One. two. three!

Wash your hands for dinner

And remember to rinse your mouth too

Stop watching, dinner is ready

Cousin

You can't sleep?

What about you?

Why did my dad ask to speak
to you in private just now?

Uncle asked me to move out

It was only just one kiss!!
He doesn't need to do that

Nah... Uncle said I'd need to
pay rent if I continue to stay

Why is he being such an ass?

Don't worry, I'll help you pay

That's not necessary, I've been
planning to move out anyways

Why? Where are you moving to?

This guy from my village gets me
a job in an electronic shop

I will stay at the attic with him

You move. I move

I'll move to Tsim Sha Tsui
to be closer to my work

You've got a new job?

I've just turned legal at 18... getting old

But now I can work full-time as a
nightclub hostess to make more money!

More money? Congratulation!
Thanks

Well then. remember to visit
me when your are free

Of course I will

Don't forget

Take care of yourself

You take care too
You take care

Take care
You take care

Take me to the Christmas Buffet...
Take me there by your Mercedes...

No more room!
But I'm so skinny

There's no room left, just go away!

I can sit on your lap

I can manage
Just go...

But I drank 2 bottles of
brandy as you told me to

Here is $200 for a buffet on your own

I even performed Kung-Fu
Just leave us alone

Kum, there's really no more seat

Go away! No seat for you
Bye!

But you've promised to take me if l
drank 2 bottles of brandy, you liars!

It's Christmas eve...and where
am I supposed to go now?

Bastards, I really want to
go to a Christmas Buffet!

I even entertained you
with Drunken-Fist!

You don't like it?...Impossible!

Let me show you again!

What the hell?

Cousin, this way!

Up here!

Cousin!

Come up!

Go up? How?

Watch me fly like Superman!

I'll leave as soon as I'm
done with the cleanup

Don't stay too late, okay?
Of course

Are you still drinking? Stop it, I can't
carry you if you are wasted

Then I will jump down

Stop talking silly!

Lighten up, it's Christmas eve!

See that? The lights are beautiful!

So what? I still don't get
to the Christmas Buffet

And I'm starving...

Forget about the buffet

I'll let you in on some good news
I earned my first bucket of gold!

Really?
Yes!

A friend and I sold some electronics
in China a while ago

We made 80 grand!

Yeah? I make that in a month

I know you are good at what you do

And your job pays well!
I would do it too I could

But there're times when
I really want to quit

Why quit when the money is so good?

Make as much as you can
when you're young

You talk just like Madam A
so very old school

People with insight all talk alike,
take Chairman Deng for example

He had this saying:

It doesn't matter if you're a black
chicken or a white chicken

Make good money
and you're the good chicken

I make good money, but I wasn't invited
to the Christmas Buffet... that's sad!

Stop whining about the Christmas Buffet

Come here. take a look... see how
pretty it is across the harbor?

Look at all the skyscrapers,
all the big houses on the Peak

Hong Kong has everything!

How can a rich. successful
person not be happy here?

No...not me, I just want to
go back to be a teenager

I can go to school and also
work as a Fish-Ball Girl! That's fab!

Everyone shall always seek
to excel herself

How much can you make as
a Fish-Ball Girl after school?

A club hostess makes a hell lot more!
That's true!

Come, press this button

Which one?
This one!

I can't see it
Here!

It's so beautiful! Amazing!

This project took me a fortnight to finish

Think of it as my Christmas gift to you

But I didn't get you anything, cousin...

Well... it's your thought
of giving that counts

I'm pregnant

What?!

You idiot! I shouldn't be stepping
on your back if you're pregnant

I was hoping you'd save me
the cost of an abortion

Get yourself together!
Who's the father?

How would I know?

Cousin! Cousin...

Cousin! Here to see me?

Is your shop going down?

I'm just planning to cash in everything
here and start something big in China

You leaving?
Yes. the sooner the better

The Mainland is opening up now
and it has

one billion potential customers there

If you earn a dollar from each of them
you'll be set for life!

Are you ever coming back here?

Sure. if there's business to do

Hey mister, everything here
is in mint condition

Check it out, I'll give you a discount

This Rolex is not bad. is it real?

It sure is, I can offer you a good price
Let me have a look

But I just gave it to you last month!

See?! She can prove that
it's real since she bought it

You two must be in this together

Just make me an offer!

Cousin. don't be so sentimental

It's only a watch, we can
always get another one

Are you okay?

Cousin, are you okay?
... What's going on?

Cousin, are you alright?

This watch has sentimental value.
how can you sell it just like this?

If you like this watch that much,
I can sell it back to you

Fine!

Cousin, don't get mad

All successful entrepreneurs cut
themselves off from their family

People with big goals will not
be hindered by small things

Don't you agree?

What if you need money badly
in the future

will you sell your wife and kids too?

I won't sell my wife... but I might
consider selling the kid

Even if you sell one, you can
always have another one

Gotta get back to work

Mister, everything must go,
all in mint condition!

Have a look mister...

Cousin... Kum!

If you want a kid that much,
I can give you one

Sounds good

Genuine watches imported from Japan

Come check them out!
Cousin!

Kum!

My business partner was conspiring with
the local officials against me all along

I was smart to leave before
they came after me

Or else...I am in Jail by now

Now that you've lost everything, you'll
have to start from scratches again

It's alright, I'm single
and I have no burden

I would be in real trouble if
I do have wife and kids

Maybe your wife is willing to strive
against the hardship with you

I don't want to drag others down with me

And how come you're so careless?

You won't be able to work for months!

Do you know who the father is?

Just take it as
an immaculate Conception

You've got to find yourself a rich
guy and hold him responsible

Actually, I've found this American
Chinese named Richard

He has his own business

Is he loaded?

That's great

You can move over to the States
after the child is born

I'm not going with him:, he shall
take the kid, but I'm staying

You sure you want to?

It's up to you, the kid is yours anyway

It's getting late... Check please!

Let me take care of the bill
Again?

Wow, your purse is always full of
bills, just like a magic bag!

My purse carries only small fortunes

Your big fortune is up there!

How much is it?
65.8

Got change for this?
Sure

Cousin. next time it's on me

Cousin
Yeah?

Gimme your hand

Come touch the baby

I wish you'd become
a strong and smart kid

And be nice to your mum, okay?

Say bye-bye

Bye-bye now, be good

Get some rest, you look tired

Bye

It's unfortunate today that you're poor

But some day
your pocket will become full

Sooner or later, you'll have
more than you can lose

Hey Boss!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, boss!

Sorry to keep you waiting, boss

Here are our finest girls
the best snake handlers

Got just the right snake for her to fiddle!

I'll pick you up at the hotel lobby
tomorrow morning at 9

Okay?
Okay

See you tomorrow
Bye

Cousin

Kum!

Come stay out of the rain

Aren't you staying in the same
hotel as your friends?

They're staying at the Regent
I can't afford that

When I gave you a massage just now,
I noticed you've put on quite some weight

And you've become quite a masseuse

You're looking good in a suit
You're looking great too

Found your 2nd bucket of gold yet?

Fortune comes and goes...
I'm still the same old me

But you guys are just talking about
your real-estate in Shanghai

You must be doing well

I'm only the middle man
who earns commission

Which hotel are you staying at?

Let's go to your place

You sure no one will get jealous?

You spotted this right?
I got married last year

Congratulations

You see, everyone needs a bit of
connection doing business in China

My wife's family is in the military which
gives me a lot of leeway in China

I'll ride a taxi home myself

I thought we've agreed
to go to your place

It's a rare coincidence, let's catch up

I can stay to keep you company

Who needs your company?

I can save up on lodging as well

No kidding?!
Free sex and accommodation?

C'mon, we are family

Which makes ripping me
off an easy task?

It's been over ten years...

Quincy, you really haven't change a bit

Cousin!

No sex, only a nightcap... just for tonight...

Cousin

Cousin?

Why are you here?

I, Quincy Fung, has been doing just
one thing throughout my life

That is. business

I have a business proposition

The only thing you've been doing is
to screw me over again and again!

Don't be so bitter, lying and cheating is
in my nature I practically con everyone

My dear cousin
all you need is to close this

deal and you'll never have to work again

Let's get married

Okay

I'm for real

Didn't I said okay?

I'd need you I.D. number

A169458(2)

Good! And we'll register online
first thing tomorrow morning

Shall I act excited?
Fine

Gonna take a shower now.
see you in a bit

Cousin

Cousin

Are you still in the bathroom?

Think it's that easy to get married, silly?

Go get ready for the customers!

Singh?

Kum, are you really closing
down your brothel?

I'm getting married, I quit?

So is it true or not?

Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Chan

Kum. at last...
Congratulations, Boss!

You're so fortunate to be able to
get married at such an old age

I hope you're not closing down
this diner as well, are you?

What are you talking about?

Kum, since you're quitting, why don't
you pass on your cliental to me

Who told you I'm quitting?

Your husband Quincy Fung!

You're up?

Are you nuts? Starting this
gossip about a marriage?

What do you mean by gossip?!
It is an announcement!

Didn't you give me your word last night?

We consummated the marriage,
remember?

Are you really for real?

Of course. I'm for real!

Kum!

Why did you ask me to come up here?

To freeze my ass?

Remember this rooftop?

No, I don't

I do

I also remember that you like fried crab,
roast duck, stinky tofu, fish balls...

It's not like you to blow a fortune, cousin

We are cousins...
I mean husband and wife

Tonight the two of us
should wine and dine

Be honest, Quincy
why did you come back?

I'll leave now if you don't spit it out

Marry me

Nothing can be this perfect

Yes, it can! Marry me

What are you screwing me for this time?

When did I ever screw you
over in the past 20 years?

Pardon me!!!
I've never!

You screwed me
over every time you're back

Gimme a break
Kum!

Just bear with me one last time, please

Okay?

I left home at 19 and came
to live with your family

I made my 1st bucket of gold
on this rooftop

I've gone through numerous businesses

Pirating, smuggling, you name it

I've made fortunes. I've hit rock bottoms

For business.
I was married and divorced

During my prime, I was busy dining out
with all kinds of Chinese officials...

When Chairmen Deng passed away

I even got to attend his funeral
in the People's Hall

In my darkest time, I spent 66 days
in the Qin Zheng Prison

Life is just a dream

It's better off not to be sober

Just marry me

I promise, you'll have no more worries

What do you say?.. So it's a deal

Done! Come on out!
...Thanks for coming

Cousin.
Hong Kong is so convenient now

Marriage License officers even
make house call these days

Can I borrow a pen...Where do I sign?

Mr. Quincy Fung, Ms. Kum Yu

According to the
Marriage Law of Hong Kong

marriage is an act of
voluntary Matrimony

In the absence of a religious ceremony...

... signing before me and other witnesses
will still bear you as man and wife

What are you doing?
What the...?

Are you okay?
What's taking you so long?

I'm thinking of a wedding banquet

You don't want one?

No... let's just talk about it tomorrow

Hurry up, I'm waiting...
Let's do it one more time!

Right, 888021

Transfer confirmed?... Okay, thanks

Why don't you sleep more?

It really doesn't matter whether
we throw a banquet or not

There's something I want to tell you

19 years ago...

Kum. let's talk that over later.
come sign this for me

What's this... in English?
Can't understand any of it

Just sign it, I'm giving you some money

You're acting weird, what is this?

Just make sure you sign it the exact
same way you do on a cheque

There... we are now officially divorced

It's a marriage, not a divorce...
You've slept too much or what?

It's a divorce now that you've
just signed the paper

What is this?

Divorce paper

Why are we getting a divorce?

What's this all about, Quincy?!

What's going on?

I'll tell you later

Tell what?

That's quick

It's for me...

Remember, we are already divorced
They shouldn't be able to bother you

Who're they?

Coming...
Who's that?

Mr. Quincy Fung?
This is he

We're from
the White Collar Crime Bureau

Please come with us in regards
to a case of commercial fraud

Okay, just let me pack a little

What's going on, Quincy?
It's okay, they're mistaken

What fraud?
And this lady is...

My ex-wife I'm here just to visit her

What's happening Quincy?

It's done

All settled, completely settled.

Go

I'll go with you

No... wait here
and prepare dinner for me

Go

Go back in. it's fine

You sure you wanna sell all your gold?

I want to get a good lawyer for cousin

I've never seen you so depressed before

Why don't you just pawn
your gold to me instead?

No, thanks

I want you to give Ms. Kum
a good price okay?

Okay

The prediction you've got in
the temple is darn accurate

You really did get married once

Accurate my foot! The legal fee is
dragging me down to bankruptcy

How much do you have in your account?

After cashing out...should be $3.80

Stay cool,
money goes then money comes

Request being processed

Please wait...

Balance HK$9,754,623.85

1.2.3.4.5.6.7

How come you have
a seven-digit account?

What the... you're rich!... You have
9 millions in your account!!!

What's going on?

Okay

Kum!

Cousin!
Over here!

Sorry,
I... Gimme a couple of minutes okay?

No

Just couple of minutes okay?

Hurry up
Thanks

Who are these people?

Hong Kong cops and Mainland cops

I have to leave for a while

Where are you going?

Don't worry, I've been cooperative,
they will let me back soon

Have you got the money?

The 9 million...

Lower your voice, keep it a secret

And keep it tight

Did you steal the money?
Why did you do that?

I deserve that money!

But I know I won't get off easily

Why did you ask me to marry you?
So you can hide your money?

That's one reason

And the other?

The other?

Because...You're my only family

I'm not your only family

You also have a son

Remember the time
when I was pregnant...

I was carrying your child

You always said that I lied to you...
But you are the biggest liar of all

Let's go

Cousin...

Listen, find our son!

He can keep you company
when I'm not around

Cousin...

Take this with you, just in case

You still have the Rolex?!

What's wrong with you guys?!!

Sorry, just a second...

Keep it and give it to our son as gift

Cousin!

Remember to look for our son!

Tell him I love him!

I love you!

Have you met your son afterwards?

Yeah. I have...

... but not in 2003. let's not talk about it

You see, having memory is a good thing

Otherwise
I wouldn't have that much to tell

I've overcome all the bad times.
how much worse can yours be?

You know how to appreciate because
you've suffered

Hong Kong history's just the same

Fireworks started

Why are they having fireworks?

Besides being dumped
you're also dumb

Today is the 50th anniversary
of Hong Kong's Handover

Oh yeah!

I met my son later on

Really?

But I didn't tell him who I am

He has his own life to live

But I ask someone...
to give him the watch

Are you cold, granny? Put on my scarf

Thanks...

You're welcome

It's windy here

My grandson should be grown by now

You have a grandson too?

I've decided get Lucy back

Good

It doesn't matter how bad
she's gonna treat me

It's worth a memory, right?

Actually, before we broke up, we planned
to go to the premier of 2046 tonight

That movie is finally showing

It wasn't easy for the director
to finish the film

I think I remember now

Wonder if old folks like Tony Leung and
Faye Wong are attending the premiere?

Can you get me their autographs?

Okay

By the way, granny, we've spent
the whole day together...

... but I don't even know your name

My last name is Ma, first name is...

Grand

Grand Ma

What's wrong, Grand Ma?

What did you say?

What are you doing, Grand Ma?

I'm really in a hurry, Grand Ma

I've really got to go,
please keep the scarf

Bye, Grand Ma

Bye!

Bye, Grand Ma!

How can there be such a coincidence?

How can he happen to ask for my name...

... and I happened to get
him to call me Grand-ma

If anyone knows about what happened,
they'd probably start calling me a genius!

And I've got the scarf too...

Dear Hong Kong citizens

Chief Executive Lau!

I know you are all ready to celebrate...

...the 50th anniversary of the
Handover of Hong Kong

The success of Hong Kong
is not a miracle...

... nor is it the result of my
personal achievement

It is the collective effort of
all Hong Kong people

Because the kind. the honest. and the
down-to-earth are God permitted

The kind and the honest are
god-permitted How can anyone deny...

I still know your songs... wonder when
you will release an album again...

Last night, US President Tom Cruise
called me to discuss...

... the re-establishment of the bond...

... between Hong Kong Dollars
and US Dollars

I've decided a new exchange rate...

... that is. 1HKD to 7.8USD

No wonder I love you forever

You're a singer, but you've also
made yourself a governor

You are superb!

Also, the annual yield
of Mongkok Oil Field

has become the 3rd highest in the world

Unemployment rate has remained
zero for 5 years in a row

There is unlimited wealth in our treasury

That means, in the next 20 years,
everyone is exempted from taxation

No kidding? It's so touching!

Thank you! Andy!

Above all, everyone is also
entitled to free education...

...housing, medical & elderly
benefits throughout your life

In short, as long as you are a citizen
of Hong Kong, you are set for life

It's unbelievable

I've been your Chief Executive for
8 consecutive terms already

I really, really, really, really... hope...

...that all citizens can elect the right
successor to my job for the next term

But before that...

... I want to present a present
for all of you

Please close your eyes

When you open your eyes again...

You'll be able to see the Hong Kong
that is best remembered by you

Live today,
it is where tomorrow's memory begins