Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (1992) - full transcript

A space crew must find a way to survive the chaotic world Gurgon.

[pages flipping]

[Desert wind blows]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello?

Hello?
Hey, you guys there?

Yes Graft, we're all here

and just about
ready to hit the planet.

Are you sure you can not
bring it back or something?

No thanks Morda.
I packed my lunch today

Captain Kronik?

Yes.



I got the ship as close as we

can get it without being
getting being detected.

Just say when.

I don't see why we just
don't land on the planet.

If we get too close, their
satellites will pick us up.

Yeah, and these
paranoid people

would send missiles
all over the planet.

Besides, I don't think
planet earth

is ready for a visit
from outer space.

Is it really
worth it then?

You bet your
black hole is worth it.

I am hungry.

There are plenty of planets
to choose from, Benj,

we better food even, we can wait
to even get back to Zairox,



it's not that far.

Ha, Doctor Forband, where's
your sense of adventure?

Yes, and did you that
no one in the whole universe

can cook a meat substance
as fast as anyone on Earth?

Professor Geting, I don't
care how fast they can cook it,

I just don't trust them.

I mean, have you ever seen
the ruler of their food empire?

with that red hair
and that white face

and that ugly yellow suit?

I just don't trust 'em.

I don't care what they wear,
as long as they can cook it,

I can eat it.

Benj, you can eat anything,
and usually do.

Ha, ha, ha.

I am about to release
the shuttle.

I'm gonna go ahead and
glide the shuttle

through that big hole
in the Earth's ozone layer,

then I'll go ahead
and transmit you from there

and now bounce
the shuttle back to the ship.

Ah, hopefully I don't just
think it's just another

clump of space junk
bouncing off their atmosphere.

Everybody locked in
and connected?

We're all set
and ready to go, Graft.

Releasing the shuttle.

Save room for desert.

And away we go.

Our golden magnets
are pulling us in.

[ENGINE REVS]

Uh-oh...

What's wrong?

These coordinates...
they're all wrong.

We're nowhere near Earth,

we're not even
in the same solar system.

Where are we then?

Ever hear of the planet...

Gergon?

Never in my life have
I heard of the planet Gergon.

Are you sure
about this, Graft?

The only thing I'm sure
about is you're heading

for a dinner date
on an unknown planet.

[SIGNAL DISTORTIONS]

Oh, that's not good.

[YELLING]
Graft, what's going on?

Not only did someone
mess with the coordinates

they've also programmed
the ship to self destruct.

Graft, get out of there.

Jump on the other
shuttle and get off

the ship before it blows.

You think he made it?

I don't think
he had time.

That means we're lost.

We're stuck in that
planet's gravitational pull.

We'll burn up like
a shooting star!

Always the cheerful
one, Forband...

Graft!

Barely made it.

Are you all right?

Made it to the shuttle.

But the blast ripped
a hole in the engine...

I am just floating,
no control.

Can't you transmit
yourself to the shuttle?

I did manage to
set your coordinates

before the ship
went down.

You're all safe.

On your way to an
unknown planet, but safe.

What about you?

I'll try to brighten

your sky with a beautiful
streak of light.

Maybe someone will
make a wish on me.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

We've hit the atmosphere!

This is it.

Everybody hold tight.

No, duh!

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ELECTRONIC BUZZ]

Everybody okay?

Yeah man.

Yeah.

Where's Benj?

[WHOOSHING]

[WHOOSHING INTENSIFIES]

Ouch!

You materialized in the air.

Benj, are you all right?

Maybe he's dead!

Benj, speak to me, Benj.

I meant to do that.

Hey, where are you guys going?

I'm hurt, I could
have been killed.

Where's my sympathy?

Morda, I need mouth to mouth.

I can't breathe...
Help me.

Help me...

[IMITATES CHOKING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's stop here
and take a rest.

I'm hungry...

Huh, that's a shock.

I don't think we'll find
anything around here.

Lots of vegetation but no
signs of animal life yet.

No insects either?
That's odd.

That's good,
because I hate bugs.

You're an assistant
to Professor Geting

and you hate insects?

He takes care of the insects,
I stay with the plants,

he can deal with those little
creepy things with long legs

that crawl in your ears
at night and lay eggs.

Morda, please,
even I'm getting the creeps.

I'm not going any further.

Am so hungry, I could eat
a whole nest of insects,

larva and all.

Oh, you are sick.

Geting, there's a line
of trees over there,

you think
we'll find food?

I'd say we got
a better chance over there

than in this
parched field.

Oh, there has to be some
sort of vegetation to eat?

BENJ: Vegetation?

I was all set on a thick
and greasy meat disk

slapped with a slab
of coagulated milk product.

[YELLING]
You're always whining!

We're stuck
on this planet

and the sooner you
realize that, the better,

for all of us, 'cause
we're not getting off.

Let's go find something to eat.

[SINISETR MUSIC]

It's time for a little game...

[LAUGHS WICKEDLY]

Hey guys,
here's the other bag.

Benj, you idiot, I thought
you were supposed to be
carrying this.

I was... excuse me for
falling out of the sky.

[LAUGHS]

Well Geting,
how about it?

Looks as good as any.

Look around
for nuts, berries,

any kinda vegetation.

But don't eat it.
It could be poisonous.

Bring them to Professor Geting
and myself for analysis.

BENJ: Over here.

I'll check it out,
you look over there.

Okay.

Am I gonna die?

[ROARING]

[SCREAMING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[MOANING IN PAIN]

It's safe.

Huh?

He said they're safe,
you can stop whining now.

It's a good thing
these things are safe

'cause they seem to be the only
thing around here to eat.

Yeah, I didn't find
anything either.

Leave it to Benj
to sniff out food.

What about Morda?

I don't know,
she's probably...

[MORDA SCREAMING]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

Morda!

GETING: Let's try this way.

Morda!

Morda!

It's Morda, guys.

Morda, please be alive.

She's alive guys,
in shock, but alive.

Good.

We're not alone anymore.

[SHOCK CHORD]

Don't hit me,
don't hit me.

Get up and stop
your whining.

[MORDA GASPING]

How is she?

She'll live.

Get the bags.

[ANIMAL GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

[BENJ SCREAMING]

Don't worry, Morda,
you're okay now.

That's right,
you'll be alright now.
Nothing will hurt you.

[BENJ SCREAMING]

Except maybe that.

[DINOSAUR ROARS]

[SCREAMING]

[DINOSAUR ROARING]

[DINOSAUR ROARING]

[ANIMAL GRUNTING]

FORBAND: Come to papa...

Are you sure these
things are safe?

Of course not, the gauge
is programmed for analysis,

not guesswork.

Yes, so was the Odyssey,
now it's nothing but debris.

Shut up, Forband,
you are about bad as Benj,

at least he's not
whining now.

He'd be happy with a bowl
of crap in front of his face

just long as he's eating.

I think they're delicious,

They remind me of that little
cafe on the planet Mobias.

Was that the one where
you got really drunk

and you started
taking off all your clothes?

And then you took that bottle
of Moon dust and you started

putting it all over your--

Yes that one!

How do you
like them, Captain?

Oh, they make
my tongue feel funny.

I was gonna say
the same thing.

Yeah, my tongue
tickles too.

Wait, wait a minute, I wanna
hear more about Morda taking
all her clothes off...

Stop it Benj.

You know,
the sky looks funny too.

Yeah, it's throbbing.

Look at it.

Wow! It's so pretty.

Like big fluffy flowers.

I want to pluck one.

Those aren't clouds...

those are fetuses...

little babies.

Little baby clouds.

[GIGGLES]

Hey, I think these sprouts
are starting to affect us.

I think they have some
sort of hallucina...

Ah, the hell with it, they'e
gettin' us kind of buzzed,
aren't they?

These are poison,
I told you that they were.

Oh, man, but they do
make you feel good.

Umm...

I'm goin' to find some
more of these little
magical sprouts.

I'm gonna go get

some more of them
magical sprout things, guys.

[LAUGHING]
Bye.

Here, magical sprouty things!

Hey, what're you doing?

I can't see two fingers
in front of my face...

Oh, yeah I can.

[ANIMAL GRUNTING]

You're Big Tinker berry,
aren't you?

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

FORBAND: Going for a
little ride, are we?

Hey this is fun! Hey guys,
look at me, I'm flying!

We missed the bus, man.

[LAUGHING]

See ya!
Send us a postcard.

[LAUGHING]

FORBAND: Are we there yet?
Hey, is this your home?

Hey, I can't go in there,
I don't even know your name.

[LAUGHING]

GETING: Bye, Stewie...
see you in St. Louie!

Hey, take that man
out of your mouth.

Yeah, you don't
know where he's been.

[LAUGHING]

[DINOSAUR GRUNTING]

FORBAND: It's dark in here,
forget to pay the electric bill?

Hey, that hurts.

[BONES CRACKING]

[SOMBER MUSIC}

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[SNORING]

[BENJ MUMBLING] What?
Is it time for school already?

Oh.

Everyone alright?

Oh, man, my head!

I had the worst dream
that Doctor Forband

was eaten by this
huge creature

with the biggest
teeth that I've ever seen.

Funny, I had the same
kinda night time manifestation

in my sleep as well.

Me too.

Not me.

I dreamt that Morda was naked
and dancing on top of me.

Shut up.

Oww.

Why you have to be so rough?
That hurts.

I bruise easily.

[SAD MUSIC]

Look, over there.

So it wasn't a dream.

Oh...

[MORDA CRYING]

It's okay, Benj.

No, it's not.

He owes me money.

Look awfully big.

Yeah.

[ANIMALS GRUNTING]

Those look a lot better.

Yeah.

[SPEAR STABS DINOSAUR]

[DINOSAURS GRUNTING]

[SPEAR STABS DINOSAUR]

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[ROARING]

[SCREAMING]

Come on, let's go!

[ROARING]

[GRUNTS]

Good shot, Morda,
now stand back.

[LASER BEAM FIRES]

It worked.

Come on.

What was that?

I tore apart the gauge and made
a few minor adjustments

and lo and behold
I made a laser gun.

That's incredible.

Corny and predictable,
but still incredible.

Where is Benj?

Hey, you guys,
don't leave me down here.

Alright.

The only way that we're
gonna survive is by
killing the beast.

Well, Captain,
that sounds simple enough.

The laser gun I constructed
just isn't strong enough to kill

a creature that size...

it would only scare
him off for a while.

Yeah, until it gets hungry
enough not to feel any pain.

I can sympathize with that.

Alright, how about this?

We'll start a fire in
its cave and burn it alive.

Oh, that's real smart,
look at all this dry grass.

All these trees

These woods would go up
in an instant

and take us with it.

Alright that's it.
I'm sick of coming up

with great ideas.

and having you guys
shoot em' down

If your so smart,
you think of something!

Okay look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to snap

at you guys like that.

I don't know. I guess
I got a lot on my mind.

It's all right. It's hard
on all of us.

I got an idea.

Okay, we're the only people
on this planet. Right?

Well, yeah as far as we know.

Okay...

So here's what we do.

We reproduce, and
populate this planet

with our sons

and that way soon
they'll get strong enough

to band together
and defeat the beast.

In fact...

we should start
reproducing right now.

And uh, since Morda here
is the only women among us

- she's the...
MORDA: Keep your pathetic

wet dreams to yourself
fat boy.

It's time to play a little game.

[LAUGHS CUNNINGLY]

Tell me something, Captain.

Yes?

Do you like me?

Uh, yeah.
Morda, I like... I like you.

I mean really like me.
You know, really really like me.

I want you, Captain.

[EXCLAIMING]

I really really want you.

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMS]

What timing!

[GROWLING]

We heard the screams!

[GROWLING]

C'mon let's go
before we're next.

[BENJ EXCLAIMS]

[DINOSAUR FOOTSTEPS]

I can't believe I forgot
the sticks!

It'll be dark soon.

And cold.

We're gonna freeze to death.

Not you. You have enough
of layers of fat

on you to keep us all warm.
Maybe we should cut you up

and wrap ourselves inside
of your flab.

Oh, please don't start
yelling and screaming.

Not now.

Morda's right. We've got to
try to stick together
and stay calm.

[FOOTSTEPS]

Okay, I'm sorry, I...

Sometimes I let this captain
thing go to my head.

The idea of power over people.
I don't know

I know it's whipped, but...

it feel so good.

[FOOTSTEPS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

That's nothing to be
ashamed of, Kronik.

It happens to anyone
who's given control

of a group of people.

You just got to look out for it.
Keep it under control.

[SCREAMS]

Come out
or I'll fry you to ashes.

Be careful.

What is it?

Caveman?

What do we say to it?

Ug?

Ug?

You want me to say "Ug"?

Uh...

Ug.

Ug!

Professor it works.

Ug!

Ug.

Ug, ug, ug... [GIBBERISH]

Ugga, ugga, ugga ugga!

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS]

Ug! Ug, ug... [GIBBERISH]

[LAUGHS]

Ugga, ugga, ugga ugga!

Hey, what are we sayin'?

I don't know.

Ask him his name.

What-

In caveman talk.

Oh yeah right.

Ugh [GIBBERISH]

Ug.

His name's Ug.

Great.
Now ask him about food.

What about-

[GIBBERISH]

He understands, great!
Smorgasbord!

Let's go.

[GIBBERISH]

What's he sayin'?

I think he's telling us
to eat the leaves.

Leaves?

Yes. Yes he's saying to eat
the leaves.

[GIBBERISH]

Well, let's eat.

Hmm it tastes sweet.
Like some sort of sugar.

GETING: Yeah, except I hope
we don't hallucinate this time.

All I know is if my tongue
starts tingling

Geting's getting a mouth
full of leaves.

Not too bad.

Benj is the big meat eater.
I didn't think he'd go

for this kind of stuff.

Hey, I go for any kind of food.
Besides,

you put your mind to it,
it tastes exactly like fried
mugwump flanks...

basted in a sugar syrup.

Save some for our friendly chef.

Hey, where'd he
disappear to...?

Anyone see him leave?

More for us.
[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]
Ug? Ug?

Ug? [WHISTLING]
Ug?

Ug! Come on home, boy.

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

[SHOCK MUSIC]

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

[COMEDIC BOUNCE,
BODY FALL]

[EXCLAIMING IN HORROR]

That was close.

Yeah we better get out of here.

Let's grab Benj
and get outta here.

Where is he?

[GROWLING]

What?

No, Mommy... I wasn't
watching... what?

Where am I?

C'mon guys let's get outta here.

[SWISH]

I can't go any further.
I gotta rest.

Well, we're not gonna wait.
We'll see you back at camp.

Let's go.

But don't be too long, Benj.
You know it's not safe out here.

That's alright.
I'll just be a minute.

I gotta catch my breath.

Okay, we'll see you later then.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GROWLING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC,
DISTANT GROWLING]

Guys...?

[STAMMERS]
Is that you?

Hey, c'mon you guys.
This isn't funny.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC,
DISTANT GROWLING]

You know, you're not
scaring me!

[SIGHS]

[GROWLING]

Thought I recognized that sound.

[EXCLAIMING IN HORROR]

Where'd that caveman
get off to, anyway?

And why didn't he warn us
about those creatures?

They could have eaten
us alive.

Well, maybe they got him
and ate him.

I don't trust him.

Let's not be too hasty.
Maybe he doesn't trust us.

Either way, I don't want him
around.

[SCREAMING]

Benj!

[SCREAMING]

Benj?

Benj!

Benj?

Benj.

[WHISTLING]

C'mon home, boy.

Benj.

Benj!

[GROWLING]

It got Benj.

Now it's coming for us.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELL]

Look over there!

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

It's Benj.

Anyone for leftovers?

[BURPS]

[COUNTRY SONG PLAYING]

* Just outside these
prison bars

* A hanging tree is waiting

[BENJI UNZIPS PANTS]

[BENJ PEEING]

* Tomorrow I'll meet Sunrise
And death will say hello

[BENJI ZIPS PANTS]

* Darling press your lips
to mine

* And tell me that you
love me *

What is this?

Doesn't make any sense.

Shh.

CAVEMAN:
I don't understand...

[SNIFFS]

Why, that son of an
intergalactic whore.

So, he can talk.

MORDA: Get him, Kronik!

Apprehend him!

[GROANING]

Don't kill me.
Please don't kill me.

You've got a lot of
explaining to do.

Yeah, why didn't you
speak with us before?

Answer him.

You know, I thought you guys
were just playing a game.

You're a liar!

Be easy on him.

Be easy on him? After the
stuff that he pulled...?

Be easy on him?

Why didn't you speak
with us before?

I was scared.

Scared? Scared of what?
We wouldn't hurt you.

Excuse me for a second.

What's your real name,
anyway? Ug...

Bob.

Bob Ug?

No. Just Bob.

Well Bob... do you
get your jollies

on by making alien visitors
feel like fools on your planet?

Look I told you I was scared.
It's been so long

since I've been around anybody
other than those monsters.

You mean there's been
other people here?

Are they still around?

There were others.
But they're dead now.

It was so long ago.

They all dropped from
this shiny little creature

that fell from the sky.

A shuttle.
Probably a lot like ours.

They didn't last long.
The monsters made a meal of 'em.

One by one.

Just like us.

Well, I hate to interrupt
this lovely little chat

but it's gonna be dark soon.

We better build a fire and cook
this food before it gets dark.

Don't worry, you're safe now.

You got that thing working yet?

I don't know
what's wrong with it.

Bob must have broke it when he
was messing around with it.

Sorry for breaking
your machine.

Here, take this instead.

Flick the tip.

Where'd you get this, Bob?

In my cave.

The cave?

You mean the one
where the dinosaur lives?

Uh huh.
It used to be mine

but he came in
and took over.

That means there might be
other people here.

I don't think so.

"Billy Bob's Intergalactical
Gas 'Em Up"

has been closed
for quite some time.

Oh, I see that you haven't
got the fire started yet.

How you like your Leg of Monster
cooked, Bob?

Oh, I don't eat
that sort of stuff.

Why not? What do you eat?

Plants, leaves and berries.
That sort of stuff.

A vegetarian caveman.

That explains why you're not
wearing any animal skins.

I don't think it's right
to cause pain and suffering

to other creatures.

Why? They think it's fine
to cause pain

and suffering to you.

Someday they'll realize
that I'm they're friend

and I only want peace
in the valley

for all forms of life.

They're dinosaurs,
for crying out loud!

They have brains.
They can think.

Benj you don't look
so hot.

I don't feel so hot.

Probably all that raw meat
he ate.

He's probably got worms crawling
around inside of his intestines

the size of ropes.
Seeing how everything's

big around here.

[VOMITING]

[SQUEAKING NOISE]

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMS]

That was Benj!

Geting, bring the laser!
Come on.

You're coming with
us this time...

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[STAMPEDING]

It won't work!

I thought you fixed that.

So did I.

Run Benj!

[STAMPEDING]

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

That did it.

Shoot it!

[LASER GUN FIRING]

[SCREAMING]

You missed!
I can't believe you missed.

Gimme that thing.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

Oh, now look what you've done.

[RUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

Whoa.

[BENJ EXCLAIMS]

[STABBING NOISE]

Oh, I can't believe this.

Did you have any part of this?

Don't be stupid.
He was with us!

There could be more of them,
liar that he is.

How can we be sure?

All the meat's gone.
Not a bone left.

It was here.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

All I know is that somebody
better keep watch tonight.

I will.

I don't think so.

Kronik!

I still don't trust him.
I'll do it.

You guys get some sleep.

No that's okay.

I wanted to work on
my notebooks anyhow.

Alright that's fine by me.

Here, use mine.
I won't be needing it.

It's a portable sleep chamber.

Oh, I get it.

[SNORING]

Too dark to write anymore.

[SIGHS]

[ZIPPER OPENS]

[EXCLAIMING IN RELIEF]

[GROWLING]

Huh?

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING]

[SCREECHING]

What was that?

It's back. Run for it.

Hey wait. Help.
Get me outta here.

[GRUNTING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

wait! Wait! Help. Help!

Help. Wait wait wait. Help!

Help. [GROANING]

[SCREAMS]

Giant maggots!

Die! Die! Die!

It's Bob the caveman
not maggots.

Oh, I killed him!

I killed him.
I killed him!

Aah!
Shocked me.

Something's not right here.

Somebody's playing games
with us.

I'm sick of it.

You better stop playing games
with us. I'm sick of it.

I don't know who you are.
Where you are. I'm sick of it.

You hear me? I'm sick of it.

[LAUGHS CUNNINGLY]

Where are you?
Where are you!

Alright, I got this idea.

What?

We dig this hole.
A really huge hole.

And we lure the dinosaur
out of its cave.

- Yeah.
- And we let it chase us
until we get to the hole.

Then we'll let it drop in.

How? Push it?

I don't know. I haven't thought
about that part yet.

And how are we going to dig
a hole anyway? With our hands?

Listen it's just an idea.
You got a better idea?

No.

Then stop cutting down
everything I come up with.

I admit I have a lot
of idiotic ideas.

But at least they're ideas.
At least I'm trying.

What are you doing?
Anything? Huh?

How'd you get this job anyway?

What do you mean?

How did you get
to be the captain

of an intergalactic mission?
You can't even think your way

out of a wet sack of crap.
How? I don't get it.

I...

slept with someone.

What?

I slept with someone.
There, you happy?

Now you know the ugly truth.
I slept with somebody

to get this job.

And who was it?
Queen Carlotta?

I can't tell.

Why? We're never gonna get
off this planet.

Who am I gonna tell, anyway?
The dinosaurs?

"Captain Kronik slept
with the Queen!"

I did not!

Who was it, then?
The Emperor's daughter?

You slept with Blanchley,
the Emperor's daughter?

I'm not telling.

Let it rest.

Man's gotta have some pride.

You call sleeping with
Blanchley...

the biggest space slut
in the Universe

pride? Ha!

You probably caught a
case of the crotch
craters from her.

Will you just drop it.

I'm sorry.

I guess I just wanted
to hurt you since...

you rejected me.

Well, it's not you. Believe me.
It's not you.

And now for the grand finale.

This is going to be...

delicious.

[LAUGHS]

But I do think
you're beautiful.

Then why don't you love me?

I do love you.

You're just like
a sister to me.

Don't start that speech.
I've heard it a million times.

You know, it doesn't matter
what planet you land on,

all men are the same.

Morda... wait!

I hate you.
I hate you.

[GROWLING]

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm not gonna run
from you anymore

you cheap Godzilla rip-off.

[TOSSES SPEAR]

Ha, how does that feel? Huh?

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

Uh oh.

[DINOSAUR GROWLS]

Come on, let's go.
Go, go!

[CHASE MUSIC,
DINOSAUR GROWLS]

Down here!

[CHASE MUSIC,
DINOSAUR GROWLS]

[LOUD SWISH]

It worked.

[GROWLS]

[DINOSAUR ROARS IN PAIN]

[DINOSAUR ROARS IN PAIN]

[DINOSAUR ROARS IN PAIN]

That was convenient.

That's it. Everything
we own in one bag.

Well, let's go.

Which way?

Think it matters?

That's true.

[SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING]

Let's stop here. This looks
like a good place to make camp.

Yeah we got everything we need.
We got water, berries

and tree to relieve ourselves.

I'm gonna go get some wood
for a fire.

Alright, that sounds good.
I'll go ahead

and clear us a spot
on the ground.

If you hear anything,
you scream.

Gotcha.

[EXCLAIMS]

Graft!

Miss me?

We thought you were dead.

I may smell like it
but I'm far from dead.

Yeah, but how did you
get off the shuttle?

That's a funny story, man.

I'm all set to die right.
Then I start thinking hey,

if I connect this wire
to that wire

would so and so happen?
And it worked.

I was able to transmit myself
from the shuttle

before the ship blew.

But did you ever figure out
what went wrong, Graft?

How did somebody get on the ship
and just rearrange everything?

And why? Why does someone
want us here anyway?

You know, I think I got
that part down, too.

Someone did want us here.
Someone on your ship.

On the ship?

Yeah. Someone on your crew,
captain, got into computer

when no one was looking

and they switched the
coordinates all around.

When we thought we were staring
into the Milky Way,

we were actually millions
of light-years away.

Yeah, but why would somebody
want us here anyway?

That's what I can't figure out.

An experiment.

A what?

An experiment.

Someone built this place.
It's not real.

It's all artificial.

Someone dragged life
from other planets

scattered them around
and let them repopulate

until a brave new world
was built.

The only thing that was
missing was people.

They needed people to see
if they could survive

in a situation like this.

If they were strong enough,
smart enough to beat

the terrible beasts
that ruled this world.

I think it's more of a game
than a scientific experiment.

To tell you the truth.
I think your absolutely right.

And I think that you're the one
that's controlling it.

Ladies and gentlemen...
we have a winner!

Gurtorius Gonimus!

I thought you were dead.

That, my friend, was only
wishful thinking.

Why?
Why would you do this?

Because he's sick and perverted
and deserves to die.

That's only part of the reason.

The truth is, Zyrox used me
as a scapegoat.

This was all the Emperor's
idea, not mine.

But the Emperor wanted
to use this place

as a vacation resort.
[LAUGHS]

At least that's what he told
the ministry

of public officials.

Truth is, this is to be a
gulag, a prison planet

for the dregs of society.

Whores, thieves, murderers...
anyone who didn't abide

by the rules set by society.

Men, women, children...
it didn't matter.

You broke the law
you landed on Gurgon.

Gurgon?

Yes Gurgon, named after
myself, of course.

Gur-torius Gon-imus?
Gurgon!

Like that? I built the place.
I might as well

name it after myself.

But who would want
a prison named after them?

Who would want a disease
named after them?

Scientists do it all the time.

Anything to live on
in the annals of history.

Yeah, but...
why this planet?

It had the perfect atmosphere
to sustain our race.

Besides the inhabitants
were so nearly extinct

[WHISPERS] I just had to finish
the job.

You killed them?

No. Didn't touch 'em. I let my
monsters do it for me.

Then I got a little lonely.
So I built myself a friend

out of a freshly killed corpse
of the last remaining native.

Carved him out and filled
him full of machinery.

I'm a whiz at that, you know.

The caveman.

Bob, please...
caveman sounds so...

primitive.

You say the Emperor
used you as a scapegoat.

But how?

A friend of yours got his nose
wet sniffing around

where it ought not have been.

He opened up the wrong computer
at the wrong time and found

the real reasons behind Gurgon.

Graft.

Alas, poor Graft... but only a
shell of his former self.

If he had kept his big
mouth shut

you two would be sitting
comfortably on the Odyssey

digesting a horrible little meal
from planet Earth.

But no... Graft had
to tell two friends

and they told two freeings
and so on and so on and so on.

Pretty soon a rumor got started.

The Emperor was building
a prison planet

to hide all dissidents.
Ban them from Zyrox

so he could kill the queen
and rule the world

under his strict
and horrible hand.

Which really wasn't far
from the truth, you know.

You were blamed for it, though.
You brainwashed the Emperor.

Made him do bad bad things.
They said it was all your doing.

Yeah, you planted an electrode
in his head

to control his thoughts.

You believe that?
You believe anything

a politician tells you?

They made up those rumors
so the Emperor's

blossoming political career
wouldn't wilt.

By saying I did all those
nasty things

they made him to be
the sympathetic hero.

While I, the villain.
Some melodrama, eh?

They planned to silence me,
too. I had to leave.

No one knew of Graft's death.
We sent a double in his place

so his mission could go on
as planned.

Originally, this ship
was suppose to explode

before it left
our solar system.

But I changed all that.

You killed Graft's double
and took his place?

Then you reprogrammed
everything in the computer.

which veered us off course
and brought us here.

You're good, Morda.
Very good.

I'm gonna enjoy spending
the rest of my life with you.

What do you mean by that?

He means he's gonna kill you
and make me

his cheap little sex slave.

You are good!

And you're dreaming!
There's no way I'd spend

any time with a shriveled-up
piece of shit like you.

And there's no way
that I'd let her.

This is no time for cheap
heroics, Captain Kronik...

I believe you have no
choice in the matter.

Could you please
step aside, my dear?

I don't want to scorch
your pretty little jumpsuit.

Not that you'll be needing it
much for what I have planned.

[SCREAMS]

Oh, stop the theatrics.
You can't save him now.

You try to run...

and I'll burn you both.

[GROWLING]

It's me, your master!
You wouldn't dare!

[SCREAMING]

[BREAKING BONES, CHEWING]

Help me. Help me.
I won't kill you. I promise.

[DINOSAUR ROARS]

[BREAKING BONES, CHEWING]

[DINOSAUR ROARS]

[PLEASANT MUSIC PLAYING]

We have no choice now.

What do you mean?

We're the last people
on the planet...

the only survivors.

Yeah?

Well, don't you get it?
It's up to us.

What are you talking about?

You and me. What Benj was saying
earlier was right.

We have to reproduce,
raise a huge family

and populate this planet.

Morda, don't.

I don't get it, Kronik.
We have to do this

whether you like it or not.

The future of this planet
depends upon it

and we depend upon it.

And now is not the time to
dig up all those old

repressed emotions.

It's the new world Kronik.
A new chapter of history

and it's up to us.

I love you.

I'm gay.

Excuse me...?

I can't love you.

I'm gay.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING]

MORDA: Kronik!

I can't believe it.

I can't believe they did that.

We've been on Earth
this whole time.

They blew it up.

They blew up the planet Earth!

Those bastards!

Bastards! Bastards!

[SIGHS]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]

* Just outside these
Prison bars

* A hanging tree is waiting

* Tomorrow I'll meet sunrise
And death will say hello

* Darling press your lips
To mine

* And tell me that you love me

* And promise me again
Before you go

* Will you visit me on Sundays

* Will you bring me
Pretty flowers

* Will your big blue eyes
Be misty

* Will you brush away a tear

* A grave lies in silence

* But if a sleeping man
Could hear

* Darling will I hear
your footsteps up there?

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]