G.I. Joe: Valor vs. Venom (2004) Movie Script

...yet, once again,

only adults disappeared,

leaving children behind.

Around the world, this is

the fifth mysterious abduction

in the past three weeks.

Missing adults,

abandoned children,

in Alaska, Mexico, Siberia,

Canada and Australia.

In Washington, sources

close to the White...

Who's there?!

Show yourself.

Now!

Good eye, Hawk.

I nearly took out

my own men.

Duke, in this kind

of combat,

sometimes it's hard

to tell the difference

between your enemy

and your friend.

I know who my friends are.

Heavy Duty, Dusty!

What you find?

The enemy's cooked up

a mess of trouble for us.

They're gonna come at us

from two directions,

get us in the crossfire.

Then we'll have

to outflank them first.

Uh, might be too late for that.

Huh?

No!

Hawk!

Ah, now, this is just

plain embarrassing.

They got me.

Hey, I got him!

I got the general!

Wanna guess who's next?

You are!

I'm a goner, Dusty!

Save yourself!

Eat paint, you little varmints!

Mama!

Good flanking maneuver, men.

Good thing I loaned you

my old sergeant's jacket.

Yup, those kids are good.

We might want to recruit

a couple of them someday.

Good timing, though.

Now, I got to get ready

for the awards ceremony,

but you jokers

go play the next round,

and make sure

those kids have fun!

That's an order.

Yes, sir!

Humm?!

Mmm, it is so inspiring

to see all you busy G.I. Joes

playing games

with the children today.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

What was that you said?

G.I. what?

G.I. Joes.

The top-secret team

of America's best

Special Forces soldiers,

operating under

the direct authority

of the President himself.

Sorry, ma'am,

I've never heard.

Oh, I knew you would

say that, sonny.

The G.I. Joes

are so top-secret,

everyone who's a member

has to pretend

they've never heard

of them.

Now, ma'am, if that's true,

how do you know about them?

I have a secret of my own.

Is that so?

The Baroness!

Good afternoon, General.

Though I suppose

it is better for me

than it is for you.

Destro! What 're

you doing here?

Mmm, why, darling, it's simple.

Cobra wishes

to offer you a job.

I'm done, Dusty.

You can have the soap now.

Why? I'm done, too.

Hey, you guys.

Where's Hawk?

He's supposed to be handing out

the awards to the kids.

Mmm, haven't

seen him, Duke.

We can't disappoint

those kids.

So, let's go find him

on the double.

Hold on, Duke.

What's that?

These are Hawk's.

Hey, Duke.

Get a load of this.

You think

Hawk was snatched?

Heads up, Joes!

We got Level One

priority flash traffic.

Hawk's gotta take it ASAP.

"Priority One flash traffic,

please pick up."

Sorry, Hi-Tech,

Hawk's... not available.

Then you got to take the call.

That's Hawk's gauntlet.

It's the only one

with the crypto circuits

for taking calls from the top.

Scarlett, Dusty, you

bring Hi-Tech up to speed.

Heavy Duty, you make sure

those kids get their awards.

Then get back here

on the double.

We start the search

for Hawk now.

Good afternoon, Mr. President.

Duke, where's General Hawk?

We think he might be

in trouble, sir.

If my National Security

Advisors are correct,

Hawk could be in bigger

trouble than you think.

What 're your orders, sir?

Duke, when was the last time

you went to the zoo?

I can't tell you

what I don't know.

I never saw what hit me.

Too bad that security tape

doesn't show anything.

You mean... not yet.

Cool, a U.C.O.-

Unidentified Creepy Object.

It looks like some

kind of big bug.

Smells more like some

kind of snake to me.

Something's wrong

in the bear enclosure.

Let's check it out.

Tranquilizer darts?

We gotta get rid of them,

or he's gonna

hurt himself bad.

Okay, not our usual

line of work,

but let's see

what we can do.

Hold it right there,

Soldier Boy.

You go anywhere

near my bear,

and I'll feed you to

him piece by piece.

Your bear?!

I'm Dr. Lincoln Talbot,

the zoo's chief veterinarian

and animal behaviorist,

and I look after my

animals my way.

Everyone can use

some backup.

You're right.

Hold my coat!

Hey, now, Teddy,

it's me, Link.

That's right, you know me.

I'm your friend,

and I won't let

anybody hurt you.

Whoa. Don't try that

at home, kids.

There. You'll be

better now.

What's that?

This is for taking blood

and tissue samples...

but why?

Doc! Look out!

Ted! Here! Here!

I could've handled it.

Yeah. I'm sure.

What's the verdict,

Hi-Tech?

Bad design,

shoddy workmanship

and a really ugly color.

Which means

it's another hunk of junk

built by Dr. Mindbender.

Huh, what a hack.

So, Cobra was behind

the assault on the zoo.

The President was right.

The President?!

Right about what?

Break out the new Gauntlets.

There's something

we all have to see.

Everyone's synched up?

In the past three weeks,

there have been five mass

kidnappings around the world.

In each case,

the target was

a small isolated

town or village,

and each time, no children

were taken-only adults.

The missing adults

around the world,

the tranqued animals

at this zoo,

and Hawk's capture:

there's a good chance

they're all connected

to the same Cobra operation.

But what's

Cobra up to?

That's what we have to

find out... and fast.

Something bad's going on here,

and if my animals are involved,

those military misfits

are gonna have to deal with me.

Ah, there is such beauty

in destruction.

Wouldn't you agree,

General Hawk?

What is this place?

This is the Viper Pit,

General -

your new home.

And I am your

new commander.

I gotta stop eating

those spicy burritos

before bedtime.

Hugh!

I'm having

the craziest dream.

Oh, I think "nightmare"

would be a better word

for what you're

about to witness.

Over Kill!

Commence

the demonstration!

Not my job,

not my job.

Mindbender's job,

not my job.

It's Mindbender's obsession

with organics

that's holding back Cobra.

Get over it,

you biomechanical dolt!

Just get Mindbender in here!

Uh, Cobra Commander,

apologies.

I didn't think Hawk

would recover so quickly.

Prepare the source material.

Oh, oh and uh...

General,

uh, when Mindbender

says "source material,"

he means "victim".

Over Kill, have...

have me the Fangblade.

I don't think so.

My Venomized Troops are

genetically programmed

to obey

whoever wields the Fangblade.

And that's me!

Which species

do you wish to use?

Surprise me!

You see, General,

all life on Earth is

based on DNA,

and my genius has now

made it possible to...

Yadda-yadda-yadda!

Actions speak louder

than words, Mindbender!

What have you done

to that poor devil?

I've given his

life purpose.

With a single commander...

And the ability to venomize

civilians by the thousands...

Cobra can create

an entire unstoppable army...

...anywhere we choose.

Isn't that right,

Cobra Commander?

No, like this!

Cobra Commander!

Oh, what is it now?

The demonstration is over.

So, executive recap.

Spray the green

gas over a city,

turn useless civilians

into Venomized Troopers,

crush freedom and democracy,

and Cobra

rules the world.

Any questions?

Yeah... you getting enough

oxygen through that mask?

Prepare the general

for the maximum treatment.

But that process

it's not perfected.

Oh, is that all?

Over Kill, hook the general up

to your new Brain Wave Scanner

and download

his memory.

Download his memory.

Download memory.

My pleasure.

Download memory.

Tunnel Rat, report.

Copy that, Flint.

Payload is go, go, go.

A real work of art,

if I said so myself.

Copy that, Tunnel Rat.

This is G.I. Joe

Citadel Launch Control.

We are go for

linear induction launch

of Test Payload Number One.

Five...

Four...

Three...

Two...

One. Induction!

And payload is on course.

We're on target.

Ocean Recon One,

do you copy?

This is Ocean Recon One.

Torpedo here, copy that.

Shipwreck, Wetsuit!

Look sharp, men!

We've got incoming.

Here it comes.

Wait for it, wait for it...

All right! It worked!

The rain generator

worked perfectly!

We'll be able to put an end

to drought around the world!

Well, we've got a few more tests

to run first, gentlemen.

Stay on station for next launch

in eight hours!

Copy that.

This is Ocean Recon One,

standing by.

My dear friend, Slash.

Yes, friend Slice?

Do you know

what time it is?

- Time to call Cobra Commander!

- You read my mind!

Yada, yada, yada...

Oh, get on with it, Destro!

...and so, given the time

it will take

to construct a

suitable delivery system,

my company will be able

to implement

the full venomization program

in three years.

No!

I'm not waiting three years

to control the world!

Not three months!

Not three weeks!

Hold that thought.

Slice, Slash, tell me

you have good news.

Mm-hmm.

So it is fully functional?

Huh?! With only four Joes to

defend the whole installation?

Perfect. You may commence

Operation Cobra Landgrab

at once.

Three years to implement

my master plan, Destro?!

I don't think so.

Ya think grenades

blow up better

if they're polished,

do ya, Gung-Ho?

Ooh...

You look after

these bad boys,

and when the gumbo

hit the fan,

they look after you.

Hey, what was that?

Slash, please,

I insist,

the honor of initiating

the electromagnetic pulse

must be yours.

Slice, no,

I couldn't...

unless...

- We push it together!

Fortunately, our equipment

is perfectly shielded.

But those Joes will

never know what hit them.

Hey!

What was that?!

We've been hit by an

electromagnetic pulse!

Electronics are fried!

Including our lasers!

Yo, Tunnel Rat,

I think you'll all be glad

they're good

and polished now, huh?

Battle Android Troopers...

Razor troopers...

- Sand Scorpions, attack!

- ...Scorpions, attack!

We've go to make

every one of these count!

Beach Head, get the BTR!

Gung Ho, we've got

to hold the fort

while Tunnel Rat

sets the C4!

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

Flint, Gung-Ho,

we got to pull out!

There's a second wave

attacking from the rear,

and they're something

I've never seen before!

Tunnel Rat better get

a move on

with those

self-destruct charges!

Gangway! Coming through!

Now all we need is

Rat Boy to get out here.

Perfect timing.

Is anything broken?

Yeah... about a zillion

of those BATs.

But me?

I'm fine.

Then hold on to your holsters.

Whoa! I think Betsy

just sprung a leak.

- BATs!

- Sand Scorpions!

- Razor Troopers!

Pursue it.

Pulverize them!

That's it for

this buggy!

This is where

I get off, boys.

I'm just the guy

to head back for recon.

But yous gotta

keep going.

Yeah, something's funky

with the satellite com grid.

I can't uplink to HQ.

We got to report in person.

But as soon as we report,

we're coming back for you, huh?

That's a promise.

Geez-Louise, Gung-Ho!

I'm chokin' on the mush here.

I got it under control.

Exemplary news,

Cobra Commander.

Despite this sloppy joe jumble,

we will be able

to piece together

a working launch computer.

But to operate their launcher...

...we will still need

the top-secret G.I. Joe codes.

Fortunately, I know exactly

where to get them,

don't I, General Hawk?

You have no choice

but to surrender.

Really, Jinx,

the end result is inevitable.

Kamakura,

you talk to much.

- How did you...?

- The way of the ninja

is to misdirect,

outthink and evade.

Hmm. You'd better work

on that last one.

Sensei!

Did you see my victory?

Hey, pal, I was blindfolded

and it still took you 20

minutes to take me down.

Ah, sword training!

Now we'll have some real fun.

What's the matter, Kamakura?

Did I wear you out?

"Tatsu Ashi"!

That's Japanese for

"Dragon's Tooth."

The Tatsu Ashi was forged

from the cooled breath

of a dragon that fell

to Earth on Mount Fuji.

That sounds like a legend

about a meteorite.

It is a sword that can only

be used by a warrior

with ultimate skill

and selfless focus.

Well, you're certainly focused

on yourself, that's for sure.

Prepare for defeat.

Against the Tatsu Ashi,

there can be no defense.

I'm not fighting your sword,

Kamakura.

I'm fighting you.

Well, this is different.

Now hear this.

All personnel report

to the Briefing Room ASAP.

This is not a drill.

Space Com has just confirmed

that our most advanced

surveillance satellite

has been blasted out of orbit

somewhere over Antarctica.

So far, it's been their game.

But starting now, we're taking

this battle to Cobra.

Yo, Joe!

Scramble the jets!

Looks like we got company.

This is Flight Team One.

Ready for takeoff.

We need more firepower!

Let's hope the Thunder Wings

get here fast.

Heavy Duty, Scarlett,

stick with me.

Duke, bogey

at ten o'clock!

It's Wild Weasel.

Mayday, Mayday!

I'm hit!

The great Storm Shadow...

...has grown careless.

Put that quantum-code card

back in Hawk's safe!

And if I do not?

I have been trained

by Snake Eyes.

And I and the entire

Arashikage clan

have been betrayed

by him.

You are a child

in the way of the ninja,

but if I must end your life,

then end it I shall.

You can try.

But I'm the master

of the Tatsu Ashi.

The owner, yes.

The master?

Never!

Listen, carefully!

The only reason you live

is to pass this message

to your sensei.

Annihilation... soon...

at my hands...

You wanna

say something

to Snake Eyes?

You say it yourself.

He heard what was said.

He stole Hawk's

quantum-code card.

Engine's out!

I'm going in!

Say it again, Joe!

It's music to my ears.

Faked you out.

Tag! You're hit!

Mayday!

Mayday...

Great save, Duke!

Cobra reinforcements!

We're outnumbered!

It's Wild Bill

and the Thunder Wings!

Slip Stream's in the house!

And Ace is here to

baby-sit these rookies!

Wild Bill don't need

no baby-sitter.

Just watch me powder

them bogeys!

Ya-hoo!

Next stop Vegas, boys!

Wild Bill is on a roll!

Them Night Adders

is splitting up.

Go get 'em, boys.

I hear smoked snakes

is tasty this time of year.

Time to subtract some Adders!

Those Night Adders are here

to pick up Storm Shadow!

You help Snake Eyes!

I'll stop those jets!

I know you, Snake Eyes.

You have to save her.

Even if it means

I escape.

Whoa!

Initiating retrieval procedure.

It's over.

Cobra's pulling out.

What do you say, Duke?

Do we go after them?

Negative, Wild Bill.

We can't risk leaving

this base undefended.

Copy that, Duke.

Me and the boys'll

stay on patrol.

Sensei!

Jinx!

Did you see what I did?

I'm probably the greatest

ninja ever to...

- to...

- Oh, Kamakura,

you're still talking too much.

Hey, Kamakura, Jinx,

wanna have some fun?

I'm gonna see if this robot

has any tasty data to download.

May... day...

That's it, we'll have

to walk from here.

I don't know about that.

Hi-Tech designed this

with reconfigurable technology.

You think we can rebuild this

vehicle into something else?

Mmm, I think we'd

better have to.

Listen...

Something's following us,

bros, and...

I don't think it's a parade.

Let's just hope Hi-Tech

knew what he was doing.

There's our answer, Duke.

That Cobra attack was

launched from Antarctica.

Right below the coordinates

where we lost our satellite.

If that's Cobra's new base,

then that's where they're

holding Hawk prisoner.

We're bringing Hawk home.

Hi-Tech, how come

a smart guy like you

doesn't know the difference

between noise

and music?

Driver picks the

station, dude.

Whoever's eating up bandwidth

with that racket is

better give it a rest!

Much better.

Deploy Articulated Rocket Pods

on my mark.

Mark!

Hey, roll up the window,

will you?

No way! I'm boiling!

Well, I'm freezing!

Ice Sabre Three,

what's the holdup?

Uh, just adjusting

cabin temperature.

Rocket Pods are deployed.

The Joes have found us!

I advise we abandon

this facility now.

Sit down!

No one's going anywhere!

This is Cobra Commander

to Mantis Sub Control.

Send out the Snow Wolves.

Now, this should be a real howl.

Come on, Frostbite.

My lungs are icing up here!

Aw, keep your long johns on.

A little fresh air

never hurt nobody.

Duke! We're under attack!

New Cobra Troopers!

Like animals!

Hi-Tech!

Heavy Duty!

You with Frostbite and Dusty,

keep those troopers off our six!

Buy us ten minutes!

Snake Eyes! Jinx!

We're going in!

We gotta keep

those creeps on ice

till Duke can bust

into Cobra's base!

Then let's get down and dirty!

There's got to be hundreds

of those things out there!

And here I was

starting to feel left out.

We do this fast

and clean, people.

Ten minutes: in and out.

Synchronize Gauntlets!

Mark!

Cobra's right on schedule.

Snake Eyes, start the diversion!

I'd call that diverting.

I have prepared Hawk

for his procedure.

Like I do everything

else in this lab.

Mindbender, the bioextractors

from the National Zoo!

All of them!

But... I've never put that much

venom into a single subject.

He might become too powerful,

even for the Fangblade!

I said all of them!

Now!

Let's try a little of this,

a little of that,

uh, some of this...

and all of this!

Ha-ha!

Oh, I love science!

Over Kill, open the cylinder!

Now, General Hawk,

prepare for

maximum venomization!

Drop it! Now!

Now! Now!

Coil Crushers!

Crush those Joes like

the insects they are!

See what's possible

when I venomize

ordinary civilians

with a touch of

boa constrictor DNA?

That's why you came after

the zoo animals?

To take their DNA?!

They weren't ordinary

animals, Duke.

They were Alphas,

the best of the best.

And when I venomize a

born leader like General Hawk

with DNA from

all the alpha animals,

Cobra will have the ultimate

leader for the ultimate army.

Army?!

You mean the civilians

you've kidnapped!

Oh, they're merely

unimportant test subjects.

To prove we can create

a venomized army

wherever we need one.

You're taking people

from their homes,

parents from their children!

You're a...

...a monster!

If it's a monster you want,

then a monster you will get!

Over Kill, open the cylinder!

Open the cylinder.

Consider it done!

For all the good

it'll do you...

Mindbender,

nothing happened!

I... I told you, I've

never attempted

a transformation

like this.

Mindbender never attempted,

never attempted,

never attempted.

As usual, Mindbender,

you put too much faith...

too much faith,

in organics... eh, eh,

eh, organics...

...when what is needed

is a mechanical solution!

Like my supercharged

magnetic induction fields!

Induction!

What's he doing to Hawk?

Magnetic, magnet

induction fields. Ah, ah!

Over Kill's gone mad!

Oh, at least

he isn't boring.

Now that's

more like it.

Meet Cobra's newest general,

Venomous Maximus!

Hawk?!

Is that you?

Duke?

Help me!

Stop me before I...

No!

You are my general,

and I say...

attack!

I do not need your orders

to lead my venomized forces

against G.I. Joe.

Release the prisoners!

It will make for a

more interesting game.

Duke, what do we do?

We fight for our lives.

Kamakura!

Get out of there!

Well done, General.

Now bring victory to Cobra by...

Victory is mine.

Keep firing into the snow!

We can lose these guys

in the steam cloud.

Hey, guys!

That's ten minutes.

Time to get our man Duke.

And I was just

getting warmed up.

You are weak, Duke.

You have no chance against me.

Just as your pathetic forces

will have no chance

against my venomized troops.

His venomized troops?!

Hmm...

Duke, Kamakura! Time's up.

Have you found Hawk?

This is Duke.

Cobra's mutated Hawk, venomized

him into some kind of monster!

We're on our way!

Negative!

I say again, negative!

It's too dangerous.

All personnel withdraw!

That's an order.

Oh, how disappointing.

We missed the floor show.

I'll dispose of this one,

free of charge.

This one is mine.

No, no, no!

Duke is mine,

and l will deal with

him my way.

Is that understood,

General?

Very well.

Understood... for now.

Thanks for the fast evac,

Wild Bill.

This operational command center

is a total write-off.

Only thing we can do is chop

everything back to Joe H.Q.

ASAP.

Copy that, Scarlett.

Wild Bill out.

See anything

interesting?

Maybe. I think that... Aah!

You're using a

kung fu grip on me?!

If you wanna keep

that arm, Doc,

you've got some

questions to answer.

Copy?

Copy!

Question number one:

What's a veterinarian from

the National Zoo doing in an

abandoned army base?

I bet whoever

tranqued my animals

were the same ones

who trashed your secret base.

I don't know anything

about a "secret base," Doc.

Look, I don't give

a flying fish

about the military or your

classified G.I. Joe unit.

I did two tours

as a Navy SEAL

and that was plenty.

The only reason I'm here

is to find out

why someone stole

DNA samples from my animals.

DNA samples?!

If you've been holding back

vital information about...

Holding back?!

I'm here, aren't I?

It's amazing you could

convert that wreck

into this hover craft

so fast, Gung-Ho.

Thanks to Hi-Tech's design

and the proper motivation, eh?

Hang on, Joes!

We're hitting the water.

They've stopped firing?!

Yeah, like they're

afraid of water...

Or something in it.

Heads up!

It's Flint and the launch team.

Not the whole team.

Tunnel Rat's missing.

Ahoy, Flint!

Ahoy, yourself.

You swabbies got

a working radio?

Sure do, but our satellite

hookups are spotty.

I think we lost one.

We lost more than

a satellite, bros.

Cobra captured our

launch facility.

But the weird thing is,

they gave up following us

when we hit the water.

Well, then at least we don't

have to worry about...

Chief!

Break out the re-breathers!

Off the boat, Fish Face!

Hey, don't touch those things.

They're like electric eels.

Shocking! Shocking!

Gung-Ho, you're a genius!

Get some metal between them

and they'll

short-circuit each other!

Gung-Ho, get the Chief!

I'll get Wetsuit.

Yo, Flint!

We could use some of that

electrical wire out here!

Hey, Polly! Wanna cracker?

Cracker?!

Cracker, cracker!

Cracker.

Come on, Polly.

You can do it.

Ahh!

Bird overboard!

Okay, Shipwreck, your turn!

Way to go, Polly.

Polly's gone.

Ooh! What is taking

so long, Mindbender?!

I need more venom

to make more troopers!

We lost too many BATs

in Antarctica.

I need

more lab workers.

Venomous Maximus, I order

you to assist Mindbender!

Understood?

I command my army.

I "assist" no one.

As of now, our fight

is with G.I. Joe,

but remember, the Venom

Troops answer only to me.

Don't you ever...

After Cobra has dealt

with G.I. Joe,

I will deal with you.

He's too powerful.

I warned you

this would happen.

Quiet!

We'll use your monstrosity

to destroy G.I. Joe,

and then Venomous Maximus

will face my wrath.

Too powerful...

too powerful.

I heard everything, General,

and I know this

organization will benefit

from a change of command.

There's no base out here.

Link, I said it was a...

"secret base".

That's everything

we have, Link.

What's your

professional opinion?

I don't know how

it's possible,

but those enemy soldiers...

I believe they're humans

enhanced with animal DNA.

In this case,

from what's on the tape,

I'd say Arctic wolf.

Can you reverse the process?

Technically, yes,

but I doubt those things

will stand in line

for a shot of the antidote.

Hey, Doc, you invent the cure,

I'll invent

the delivery system.

There is no door.

Good move, Kamakura!

They've taken Hawk...

and everything else.

This is Duke, calling

any G.I. Joe station!

Any station, come back.

Duke! You're alive!

Calling all G.I. Joes!

Oh, it's time to tune

to the Cobra Channel.

Oh, hello.

Today, for your

viewing pleasure,

we present the first

and last episode

of a brand-new

reality show I call

...No Survivors!

Run!

And like all good shows,

it ends with a bang.

Over there!

That one!

Kamakura!

No use! I'm stuck!

Leave me.

You still have a chance.

This team stays together.

Duke!

I was supposed

to watch his back.

You didn't let him down.

I say again, this is Duke

to any G.I. Joe station.

Come back!

- Duke!

- So what's going on down there?

You guys having

a party or something?

We are now!

Then another chunk

of concrete

knocked the pipe

off Kamakura,

and we were able to get

to the Night Adder

before the whole base caved in.

'Course, Kamakura isn't

the only thing that needs

to be patched up.

I got a new gauntlet

for you.

Good. Because this one

I'm giving back to Hawk.

In person.

Now, what's the latest?

Flint and Shipwreck reported

in from South America.

Cobra's overrun our

South American launch facility.

So that's their second base.

With our launcher,

Cobra can deliver

their venom anywhere

in the world -

transform whole cities into

mind-controlled

armies overnight!

Even if I find

an antidote,

there's no way

to make enough

to save everyone

in the world.

Which means it's up to us.

We have to stop Cobra

once and for all.

Before they use that launcher.

You are cleared

for vector grid 000.

So, what you

bring me?

Your present's in

the back seat,

wrapped up all nice and pretty,

compliments of Flint 'n

Shipwreck and the boys.

Brilliant genetic engineering,

but there's one critical flaw.

Looks like a simple

amino acid substitution

will make it easy to

separate the animal DNA

from the original human DNA.

Odd that somebody would

make such a basic mistake.

Hey, ask me if I'm surprised.

Dr. Mindburger

is a couple of circuits

short of a motherboard,

if you know what I mean.

Pow!

Let's hope this does the trick.

It worked!

Leave the rest to me.

Cobra Commander,

the launch computers

have been reprogrammed

for our venom payloads.

We can launch within the hour.

You landed

two hours ago.

What kept you?

We caught a spy -

a G.I. Joe code

named Tunnel Rat.

He's been hiding

in the jungle

trying to find out

what we want

with this launcher.

Then let's give the little

rodent a front-row seat

for our very first launch.

Listen up!

Flint's gonna

bring us up to speed.

We've scouted the Citadel,

and this is where

Cobra Commander

has set up his command post.

So, we figure that's where

the big guys will be -

including Hawk.

This is the launcher.

Cobra BATs have

already loaded it

with venomization payloads.

Snake Eyes, you and your team

will target the launcher.

I know it'd be a lot easier

if we could just

blow up the launcher,

but we can't.

That base is full

of innocent civilians

that Cobra's venomized

into troops,

and we can't risk

hurting any of them.

So, our mission is first:

Shut down the launcher.

Second: Get Link's antidote

to those venomized civilians.

And third: Get Cobra

Commander by the shorts

and give him a twist

he won't forget.

Give him a twist!

Okay, team, lock and load!

Go... Joe!

Stand by for primary

launch sequence

in 11 minutes on my mark.

"Launch sequence initiated."

Somebody'd better tell me

that isn't...

G.I. Joe!

First wave.

follow me!

A rain forest?

In Siberia?

They have an antidote.

And you call yourself a genius?!

Storm Shadow,

we must make sure

the payloads launch.

Destro! How much time?

Nine minutes.

Hope you don't mind

we just let ourselves in.

We need Venomous Maximus!

Where is he?!

Let G.I. Joe

and the old Cobra

destroy each other.

Then there will be

nothing to stop me...

and to stop us.

When I rule Cobra,

you shall be rewarded.

Poor, poor Mr. Rat.

It hurts just to look.

- Tighter!

Very funny, guys,

but let's see

who's laughin' in the end.

One G.I. Joe...

against both of us?!

Uh-oh!

This time, nothing

can save you!

Hey!

This BAT makes a

darn good bat!

Get away from that!

Make me!

Let's see

how you handle

asynchronous phase inversion,

you two-bit hacker!

It's that the best

you can do?!

Double asynchronous phase

inversion back at you,

Mindloser!

The antidote only worked

on the hybrids

exposed to it at the

highest concentration.

The rest we're gonna have

to cure one at a time.

You heard the man!

Make every shot...

paint ball count!

Yo Joe!

Now, where was I...?

On the endangered species

list...

where all organics

belong.

Whatever that thing is,

the bigger they are,

the harder they fall.

Heavy Duty!

Venomous Maximus!

For the glory of Cobra -

we have to work together!

I do not need you!

I created you to serve me!

To serve Cobra!

You will be

the servant now.

I shall command Cobra!

No! I-I control

the Fangblade.

And now I control you.

Over Kill,

help Cobra Commander!

That's close enough!

Close enough...

You're right.

It is, close enough!

What are you doing?

What I should have done

long ago: clean house!

Clean house!

Prepare the lab for

maximum venomization

of all remaining

source material.

Yes, yes, yes!

What about him?

I will be at the

launch platform,

cleaning up his mess.

All right!

Now I can scratch

where it itches!

Incoming!

Whoa!

Iron filings?!

How come they're

stuck on me?

Ow! Hey, I'm some kind

of super-magnet!

Ow!

Hey, guys!

Cuttin' edge woik, kid.

Mama Rat always

said to recycle!

Wot's dat?

Nobody want to laugh

at "poor Mr. Rat" no more?

"Clear the launch ramp!"

We're too late!

"Five... four... three..."

"two... one... launch."

The missile.

It just stopped.

This is G.I. Joe

Citadel Launch Control.

This launch is scrubbed.

Mindbelcher, haven't you ever

heard of an "off" switch?

You simple-minded

techno-geek.

The battle's not over.

Venomous Maximus

has turned against you.

The venomized armies

won't be under Cobra's control.

At least under Cobra,

humanity would survive,

but if those two creatures

conquer the world

we're all doomed.

Hi-Tech, you warn

the team on the platform

that the payloads are still live!

Heavy Duty,

watch Mindbender!

Scarlett, you're with me!

Worthless humans.

You know nothing.

Those are the last venom

troopers. Get 'em!

All available personnel

report at once

to the launch platform!

The launcher is still active.

You'll be all right now.

I'll take you

to the medical tent.

Okay Bendminder,

you don't want Venomous and

Over Kill to run the world...

and I want my general back.

So what do you say

we figure out

how to shut down

that launcher from here

together?

When you put it that way,

how can I refuse?

Hold it right there!

Nothing's getting

launched today.

Guys...

you gotta help me.

I'm a walking trash can.

How did it happen?

I got sucked into

a wind generator. Ow!

It charged me like a magnet.

No big deal, Dusty.

Best way

to demagnetize anything

is to reverse the polarity.

Ow!

Duke, Snake Eyes!

Get Hawk to the center

of the first ring!

Hey! What about me?!

Ow!

Dusty, stay back!

It's your magnetic field.

We don't know

what it will do

to the one in the launcher!

Ow!

Hurry it up, okay?

And now the world will see how

a true scientific genius...

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

It's on.

Uh, guys!

We gotcha!

That junk from Dusty -

it's blowing right through him.

What's wrong

with my uniform?

What happened?

I'm so clean!

I hate being clean.

Flint! We need the antidote.

All you've got.

Looks like we're

just ticking him off.

That's all we have, Duke.

Is it enough?

Hawk, you have

to help us now.

Fight it!

Any way you can.

I know you're inside.

We need you, Hawk.

Duke.

That's it, Hawk.

You can do it.

I do not need you

to tell me that.

All my enemies lined up

on the launch ramp?!

So, if I just

press one button,

I can create my first

venomized army

and rid myself of Duke

and Venomous Maximus,

all at once.

I win!

Hawk! Hawk,

are you all right?

You're back.

Thanks to my friends.

Uh-oh.

What happened to

the holding headquarters?

Ah! It's launching

the missiles backwards!

What happened?!

- We reversed the polarity.

It's just gonna keep launching

those things, isn't it?

Talk to Brainbender.

He's your Employee

of the Month.

No "off" switch!

Loser.

♪ But you won't know my name ♪

♪ While you're sleeping,

midnight dreaming ♪

♪ Waking up to a new day ♪

♪ I will never leave you

to fend for yourself ♪

♪ Trust me to stand behind you ♪

No, no, no! The organics

are destroying everything!

They no longer deserve

to rule this world!

♪ I will lead you,

you will lead me ♪

♪ Lead each other to victory ♪

♪ Courage will last

in the face of the enemy ♪

That's the last planeload

of civilians.

Gonna be a lot of happy kids

getting their parents back today.

Mission accomplished.

Ooh...

Looking sharp.

Felt good being

back in action.

Wouldn't mind a chance

to help out and do it again.

Welcome aboard,

Dr. Talbot.

See? I told ya so.

When we get back to HQ,

I'll fit you for

your own Gauntlet.

Speaking of Gauntlets...

You keep that one.

You earned it, Duke.

Guess there'll be no living

with him now, right, Snake Eyes?

Snake Eyes?

♪ I'll stand right by you,

I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ Glory unseen. ♪

Keep walking!

Justice is served.

I, uh, um...

Well, let's not be

too hasty eh, Joes?

Would a substantial bribe

be out of the question?

Yes!

Yo Joe!

♪ I will save you,

but you won't know my name ♪

♪ While you're sleeping,

midnight dreaming ♪

♪ Waking up to a new day ♪

♪ I'll be your hero,

no matter who you are ♪

♪ Now my honor never falter ♪

♪ Protect freedom for us all ♪

♪ I will never leave you

to fend for yourself ♪

♪ Trust me to stand behind you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I will know you

and I will be your friend ♪

♪ Loyalty protects us ♪

♪ It's a bond

that'll never end ♪

♪ I will lead you,

you will lead me ♪

♪ Lead each other to victory ♪

♪ We are steadfast,

courage will last ♪

♪ In the face of the enemy ♪

♪ I will never leave you

to fend for yourself ♪

♪ Trust me to stand behind you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ I could never betray you ♪

♪ You fall, but I save you ♪

♪ I'll stand right by you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ Strength now failing ♪

♪ Skies grow darker ♪

♪ Armor holding ♪

♪ We're surrounded ♪

♪ Constant with me ♪

♪ We won't cower ♪

♪ Battle's closer ♪

♪ We can win this ♪

♪ I will never leave you

to fend for yourself ♪

♪ Trust me to stand behind you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ I could never betray you ♪

♪ You fall, but I save you ♪

♪ I'll stand right by you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen ♪

♪ I will never leave you

to fend for yourself ♪

♪ Trust me to stand behind you ♪

♪ I'm your glory unseen. ♪

Yo Joe!

G.I. Joe: Valor vs. Venom (2004) - full transcript