G-Force (2009) - full transcript

The story is about a team of trained secret agent flies and a mole that takes on a mission for the US government. A specially trained squad of not guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire, who plans to taking over the world with household appliances.

Hey, slow down!

That is not cool!

Thank you for coming tonight, Darwin.

This room is secure,

so we can speak freely.

Why the secrecy?

Because the Feds are coming

tomorrow... to shut us down.

Shut us down?

Without even giving us a chance?

Yes.

And there's only one way

we can save this department,

and that's prove ourselves,

in the field.

Our target is Leonard Saber.

As you know, he is a former arms dealer

and current CEO of Saberling Industries.

The Bureau's intel shows Saber

has developed a new microchip

with possible military applications.

They suspect he has sold his technology

to the Far East under the code name...

...Clusterstorm.

Now, Darwin, we need to find out

how Saber plans to use this technology.

Your mission is to download

the Clusterstorm files

from Saber's personal computer

located in his library, right here.

Ben, we're gonna get you that evidence.

We'll prove, once and for all,

what we can do.

We'll give 'em no choice.

They'll have to keep the program

and make us special agents.

Look, I believe in you,

but ifwe fail...

...we blow a case they've been

trying to crack for two years.

Hey, I'm nine inches tall.

I only see the upside.

Right this way, sir.

Thank you.

Tick tock, we're on the clock.

Speckles, do you copy?

Ten-four. I read you, Darwin.

Five-by-five.

All communication systems are online.

Status report.

I have a visual on Saber.

He's wearing a $6,000 suit,

$50,000 watch,

and, according to my infrared scope,

Hanes size 36 tighty whiteys.

Saber's about to start his speech.

Remember, the clock is ticking, dude.

Blaster, Juarez, what's your twenty?

Juarez here.

Approaching first objective.

We're ten seconds ahead of schedule

because Blaster is a little hyped-up.

Of course I am.

This is what I live for.

Time to get this party started.

- Talk to me, do we have any activity?

- Southbound is secure.

OK, we're clear.

Darwin, you're behind schedule.

You all right?

- First mission jitters, I guess.

- Do you want to abort?

No, no, it's OK.

I've been trained to do this.

I'd follow you

into a snarling pack of Dobermans!

Oh, wait. I already have.

Now, get your fuzzy hind end moving.

Hold on. There's a civilian

passing through the perimeter.

What are you looking at?

Move along, pal.

Don't worry. I just spotted my way in.

Juarez...

- Blaster, don't drop a pellet.

- Too late.

I'm cool.

Speckles to Mooch. Getting no visual.

Over.

The fly is in the ointment.

Darwin, do you copy?

Yeah, you're right.

Holy foxes.

- What's your twenty?

- I'm in the morgue.

Don't you wish your blowtorch

was hot like mine

Good thing I took shop.

Welcome to my home.

I want you to know how grateful I am

to all of you for, once again, making us

the number one consumer

electronics brand in the world!

Yeah, yeah.

These things are so popular,

I can't get one.

Mooch, focus. Come on, honey.

You're not here for the sweets.

Get back on mission.

For years,

we've been putting a secret...

...into the heart of every member

of the Saberling family,

be it the cryogenic refrigerator or

the new microwave-heated coffeemaker.

A secret which is at the core of

any successful family: communication.

- Hey, Juarez. Race you to the top!

- OK. On your mark, get set, go!

That's cold.

Darwin, the table's set. You are clear

to infiltrate Saber's study.

OK, I'm in.

Clearing exfil route.

- Hey, it worked!

- Of course it worked.

Nothing happens in this house

that I don't know about. Trust me.

In 48 hours, when I press this button,

it will activate a wireless system

we call "Sabersense,"

which will awaken the chips

already in the logic boards

of all Saberling appliances

allowing this coffee machine

to know how much coffee's been used,

communicate with your home computer,

and add coffee to your shopping list.

Now, in addition, Sabersense will link

every old and new Saberling

appliance in existence,

and create one big family!

And nothing will be the same.

Why did they put the Q

so far away from the O?

- OK, I'm in.

- Roger. I'm tracking it.

So what about it, Juarez?

You and me, I mean, you know...

Sorry, Blaster. You know

I've got my eye on someone else.

- No. In fact, I didn't know. Who?

- Darwin.

Why Darwin?

Because he's so...

so not interested in me.

Copy that, Juarez.

- Oh, shoot!

- Keep the comm line clear, please.

- OK, Speckles, I think I found it.

- Thank you, and good night.

Saber wrapped his speech.

Mooch, give me an eyeball.

Christa, I'm going upstairs for a drink.

Darwin, Saber's heading up.

ETA: about 50 seconds.

Copy that.

I'm into the Clusterstorm file.

- Speckles, are you seeing this?

- I see it.

This isn't about selling weapons.

It's about global extermination.

I'm downloading now.

Whatjust happened?

Encryption. Hands off the keys.

- I'm setting up a worm to decipher.

- Mooch.

You have to stop Saber.

Execute delay strategy B.

I'm back in. Commencing download.

- Speckles, you're a genius!

- I'm a mole. I got a thing for worms.

Switching to wireless download.

Come on. Come on!

Darwin. Get out of there, now!

I can't.

The chimney will block the signal.

Come on, baby, come on.

If he doesn't make it,

are you free Thursday night?

He'll make it.

- OK, drop the line.

- Here we go.

Now, Blaster!

Ouch!

Darwin! Your butt's on fire!

Stop, drop and roll!

- We got it. Speckles, exfil.

- Way ahead of you.

I'll be waiting at the entrance

of the... Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

Speckles reports

a large canine at exfil.

No escape. Repeat: no escape.

Hang on, Speckles.

We leave no rodent behind.

- I'm going after the dog!

- Wait, Blaster! Think it through!

There's no time for thinking.

Juarez, Blaster's gonna need backup.

- Got it.

- I'll rescue Speckles.

Hey, meathead!

Oh, did you see that?

Let's go, old buddy.

- Mayday! Mayday!

- Heads up, boys!

Yeah, Juarez! You get him, girl!

We're out of here. Let's go.

Something spooked the dog.

Let's check it out.

Blaster, Juarez, exfil.

By the way, in case you missed it,

I just saved your fuzzy behind.

We should celebrate over dinner.

Hang on, Speckles.

We're going off-road.

Gas!

OK. We're clear.

That was a little heavy

on the smoke, Ben.

Yo, Juarez, did you catch the little

leg twitch at the end of my "death?"

That was acting, baby. I was feeling it!

Yes, amazing.

Tell me you are not part possum.

OK, you can laugh now, but some of

those people back there were crying.

It was like the end of Old Yeller.

Mooch! You made it. Good.

How'd it go in there, guys?

The game's over for Saber. It's all

there. Clusterstorm, everything.

Our training finally paid off.

I knew you could do this.

This is great.

- G-Force!

- G-Force?

I figured we need a name. Like,

you know, Green Berets or Navy SEALs.

Come on. G-Force!

- No.

- The pose is cute.

- Is everything ready?

- Yeah, it's getting there.

Good. Feds won't be able to

shut us down with this evidence.

Does this make me look fatter?

- No. I think you look nice.

- How much longer, Speckles?

Just a few more touches to decode

Saber's crypto-system.

To access the information

on Darwin's PDA,

I have to factor a univariate

polynomial over a finite field.

OK. Hey, do I look fat in this?

I haven't worn a jacket since the prom.

You look very... sharp.

"Because he's so not interested. "

- What does that mean?

- Men are like government bonds.

They take way too long to mature.

But if you're a woman

trying to make it in a man's world,

you have to learn to think

like they do and keep them guessing.

Candygram.

Juarez?

I heard over the wire

that you're interested.

I'm not interested.

That's not what you told Blaster.

Don't you get it?

I want him interested in me.

And he'll only be interested

if he thinks I'm not.

But you are interested?

- Of course.

- But not in me.

No, no, no. Because you know

you could have me,

which makes you not interested,

and that means I wouldn't be

interested in you even if I were.

OK, everybody, they're here.

G-Force, in your positions.

It's showtime.

Hello.

Director Killian?

I'm Ben.

Congratulations on becoming the

new task force director. That's neat.

Let's save the chitchat.

Time is money.

OK.

Many people don't know

that since the Civil War

animals have been used

to gather strategic intelligence.

Now, our work focuses on

developing communication

between humans and animals. Now, these

cockroaches right here have been trained

to carry microcameras

into surveillance zones,

which is, I think, really kind of neat.

Congratulations. Dr. Kendall, do you

mean to tell me that Homeland Security

is financing a roach motel?

This is a rodent.

Guinea pig, sir. Don't say that.

They get highly offended.

You know their DNA is 98.7 percent

identical to humans, right?

No. How would I know that?

So you'll notice the extremely developed

sense of motor skills.

That's because their brains

have close to a billion neurons,

and a trillion synapses.

That's a thousand times stronger

than any supercomputer.

It gives them exceptional, like,

eye-hand reflexes.

It's a video game.

Yeah. And there's something over here...

OK, we'll go over here.

You're really gonna be amazed by this.

It's a language decoder.

It enables animals to talk to humans.

Without it, they sound like

normal animals. Go ahead, take a look.

You're Doctor Dolittle.

You talk to animals.

Talking to animals is the easy part.

Getting them to talk back,

that's the hard part.

- Darwin! Juarez! Blaster!

- So these guys are special agents?

Yeah, just like we're gonna be.

- Hey, how you doing?

- That's impossible.

No, no, no. Finding something that

fits me off the rack, that's impossible.

Think that's something? Check out

Speckles. He's been decrypting the file.

- Who's Speckles?

- Our mole.

Star-nosed breed. Blind as a bat.

IQ off the charts.

He's lucky I found him.

- His family was exterminated.

- We're ready.

Last night, G-Force was able to get

some intelligence regarding

Project Clusterstorm.

You ran a mission

without my authorization?

Yes. We went to Saber's mansion and...

Wait a second, you broke into

Leonard Saber's house?

We accomplished in one night what

you guys couldn't do in two years.

And without a warrant. Holla.

Blaster, cool it.

I knew we were up for review, and I

wanted to show you what we could do.

All right, then show me.

What'd you get?

Speckles, you're on.

- Darwin's PDA contains classified...

- Just open it.

What is it?

- A cappuccino machine?

- What? That's not right.

I downloaded the Clusterstorm file,

not plans for a coffee machine.

- Right computer, wrong file.

- Darwin, what happened?

Specks, show them the Clusterstorm file.

Well, this is all we have. I'm sorry.

No, that's not it! It's about

global extermination. I saw it.

That's it, Kendall. Outside... now.

What a surprise.

The guinea pig mission didn't work out.

I'm shutting you down.

- You can't do this.

- Yeah, I can.

You performed an unauthorized infil,

compromised a two-year

undercover FBI operation,

and came out with the crucial intel

that Leonard Saber,

and stand by for this,

makes coffee machines.

This means we're in big trouble now.

¡Cállate ya!

You have to admit,

I've done some amazing things

as far as animal intelligence in there.

Thanks to you, those rodents can speak.

But sadly that means they're now capable

of exposing the derelict activities

committed on my watch.

- Yeah, but I...

- No!

I'm not gonna take the heat

for this, Kendall.

I'm not going down in Washington

as the crazy gopher guy.

Dr. Kendall's coming with me.

Cage anything that moves.

- Cage? Oh, no!

- What about my team here?

Here's an idea.

Since they're guinea pigs,

why don't we use them as guinea pigs?

- What?

- Oh, no.

Guys, we've got company.

We've got to get out of here.

The document capsules. Let's move.

- Vamos.

- Leave the gear behind.

All right, we're going native.

Lock and load.

I always wanted to say that.

Let's go.

Sorry, Speckles.

Talking animal, dead giveaway.

- No! No, not my glasses.

- In you go. Let's go.

No. No.

It's OK. I'll be right behind you.

Now, Marcie.

Good luck, team.

I love my job!

No! No!

Marcie, you tell Ben

the Clusterstorm file is on that PDA.

- And you tell him this isn't over.

- OK.

What we have here

is your classic case...

- Be quiet. I'll distract them.

- ... and overspending.

- Bye, guys. Have fun in the lab.

- Hey, hey!

- Would you put that down, please?

- Put it down.

It's not working. Come on. Come on.

- It's empty.

- Stealth hamsters.

A special coating on the fur.

Light bends around them.

Renders them invisible.

That is ridiculous.

We did see hamsters talk.

- Now, let me see now.

- Step aside.

What are you doing?

Why are you letting them out?

- What?

- Oh, my God! They're everywhere!

I don't see anything.

On the floor...

Be careful not to step on them.

- What was that?

- What was what?

There's no such thing

as a stealth hamster.

Be cool if there were, though.

Juarez, what's the situation?

FBI.

They got the whole lab surrounded.

I'll need to inspect your goods.

Let's go.

Yeah, 20 bags of Falfa Cravins.

Yes, I know.

- We can hide in here. Go, go, go!

- No, not the cage!

This facility's closed.

Get this delivery truck out of here.

- I don't do cages!

- Speckles, let go!

Great. Now we are locked in.

What do you think?

Is this the frying pan or the fire?

Let's all agree right now.

None of this goes on our résumé.

This is Killian.

We're locking the building down, sir,

but the animals have all bolted.

If those animals bolted,

then I got a problem.

I want them all back,

dead or alive, zero exposure.

- Three guinea pigs and a mole. Got it?

- Yes, sir.

I've never seen

such fat animals in my life.

Don't they have a gym around here?

A Jamba Juice or something?

Lay off the nuggets, man.

All right, my furry little friends.

Welcome to your new home.

Good luck getting out.

- G-Force!

- Why did you just do that?

I thought it might cheer us up.

You can'tjust blurt it out anytime.

It ruins the effect.

Guys, guys. Cool it.

The world's at stake.

We got to get out of here.

Then what? The Feds want to

turn us into guinea pigs.

They'll never take us seriously.

Well, we did get the wrong file.

No, I downloaded the right file,

and we're gonna prove it

as soon as we find a way out of here.

Well, let's ask that guy.

He looks cute and friendly.

Excuse me,

my incarcerated little friend.

- May I ask you a question?

- Don't move!

All I'm saying is, know your place,

behind this line. That's all I'm saying.

Is he talking to us?

Did someone order a knuckle sandwich?

Because I'm about to make a delivery.

Wow. You talk a lot of smack

for a little guy, buddy.

"Buddy?" No.

For your information, it's "Bucky. "

And if you want to stay alive,

do not cross that line!

Take cover!

The horror! The horror!

I love the smell of napalm

in the morning!

Don't pay any attention to him.

He's a quarter ferret.

I have no ferret in me, Hurley.

That has never been proven.

Then why are you marked down?

I'm on sale!

Everyone goes on sale eventually.

This should come as no surprise, but

he grew up in the psych ward at UCLA.

- Mice are on sale. Everybody's on sale.

- Enough with the line already.

We agreed this was my zone.

We all agreed that, right?

- Right.

- The mice will agree to anything.

- You guys are all idiots, right?

- Right!

Oh, yeah? Fine!

- Yeah, he's very sensitive.

- Not a ferret!

- Welcome, my friends, to the family.

- Where is the bathroom?

Well, for me, this morning,

the sports page, which is

pretty much where you're standing.

- Nasty!

- Look, don't worry.

They put down newspaper every day,

there's plenty to read.

We don't have time for this.

- Locate escape options.

- OK, here we go. Stand back!

- I'm gonna break the glass.

- I wouldn't do that if I were you.

This might be a good time for a nap.

OK. The truth is my grandmother met

a ferret at the San Diego petting zoo,

but nothing happened.

They simply dated.

My papers say hamster, end of story.

Now stop looking at the line!

Darwin, please let me

pull his tongue out.

Negative. Nobody touches the ferret.

I am not a ferret!

You try to pull my tongue out,

you'll see what happens...

Let's check that lock.

G-Force, Delta formation.

You guys from the circus or something?

- The circus!

- I hate the circus.

No, we're not from the circus.

We're specially bred,

genetically altered,

- and highly trained secret agents.

- Known as G-Force!

I get it. You guys are transfers

from the Hollywood store.

Darwin, it's locked.

We need another way out.

Mooch!

Go find Ben and report our location.

Clusterstorm launch is in... 29 hours.

Wait. Who's Mooch?

- The fly.

- Oh, man. Talking to the flies.

And I thought the ferret was crazy.

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

What happened in there?

Well, I told them

we shouldn't be shut down.

And then I got to the bit

where I talk to guinea pigs,

- and then that's where I lost 'em.

- Darwin told me, before he left,

that he was positive

he downloaded the right file.

Where is the PDA?

- It's still back at the warehouse.

- Well, we gotta go get it.

Security's probably

crawling all over the place.

- That's all right. I've got an idea.

- OK, what do we do about the G-Force?

They're highly professional. They're

probably halfway back to my house.

Now, Hurley.

Blaster, why don't you

leave the tactics to me?

- OK. No problem.

- So, Farty, how do you get adopted?

It's pretty simple. Act cute,

kid picks you out, takes you home,

and bingo, you're part of the family.

Except that, well, they never pick me.

Incoming.

Huddle up. OK, bring it in.

First, we get adopted. Then we escape.

Ben's house is the rendezvous point.

Now, go act cute.

Who's acting?

Check it out. I'm chasing my butt.

How cute is that?

- Come on, Specks. You, too. Act cute.

- I don't have that kind of range.

Grandpa, what is that?

That's a hideous crime

against nature, I'd say.

I'm outta here.

- What can I help you with, young lady?

- I want a hamster.

Yes! Yes! I am out, baby!

Finally, the recognition I deserve.

- Her. With the big cheeks.

- What?

- I could put bows in her hair.

- What?

I'm the hamster. They're guinea pigs!

- Watch the hands, buddy.

- One oversized hamster. There you go.

You try to put a bow on me,

you're gonna lose a finger.

That little girl

has no idea what she's in for!

I'm gonna put nail polish

and lipstick on her and a dress.

A dress?

You're going to lose your whole hand.

Juarez, remember.

I know. Maintain my cover

until I have a chance to escape.

What about that little fur ball there?

He looks like he's full of life.

- No, no. Give me the fat one.

- I'm not fat. I'm fluffy.

Even if you forget to feed this guy

every now and then,

it wouldn't bother him.

- He's a little plump as it is.

- That's probably a good thing.

Oh, mama! This is it. This is it!

- What do these fellas eat?

- I'll show you. Follow me.

- Come on, Penny.

- See you on the outside!

Hey, guys, I can see my future!

It's all cakes and cuddles!

I think he's gonna

throw him in with the snake.

Make way. Hamster coming through.

You're lucky I'm not in there,

snake boy,

because it would've been

lights out for you!

I would've hit you so hard

you would have shed yourself.

Then I would have turned you

into a nice pair of snakeskin boots.

That kid's a monster.

He just lifted him up and...

- Come on, kid.

- Blaster, do something.

- What do you suggest I do?

- Poop in his hand. Poop in his hand.

Hey, Grandpa, changed my mind.

Oh, no, no, not upside down,

not upside down. Hold him like this.

Where did...

Where did the chubby one go?

I don't know.

All right, Specks. We have to think

of a way out of here.

There you are.

I knew you were trouble.

I can see it in your eyes.

At 0920 local time,

Saber initiated a call to the usual

recipient, Mr. Yanshu, in Beijing.

He left a message saying the launch

was on track for Project Clusterstorm.

Since then, nothing.

Kip, our FISA tap just isn't cutting it.

Sir, with respect, if you were

to authorize a search warrant...

On what grounds?

I can't authorize a search warrant

without probable cause, and he knows it.

Saber comes from

the defence supply industry.

- He knows how to cover his tracks.

- Sir...

Just give me cause,

and I can authorize. Keep listening.

- We are listening, sir.

- Son, listen harder.

Careful.

- Come here.

- No, porfavor.

No, not pink. And it stinks!

This has to be against

the Geneva Convention.

Where is Blaster?

We have to get out of here.

I think you need lipstick, too.

The tiara.

Enough already.

This is the tenth outfit.

Don't you look pretty?

Oh, my gosh.

I look like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Let me do this, Specks.

I'll come back and get you.

Relax. They told me

one of the mice died last week,

and was buried in the backyard.

Once I'm in the ground,

I can tunnel to freedom and rescue you.

Terrell! Oh, man.

- Terrell!

- Mamacita, relax.

Está muerto.

It's dead.

- Yeah, you're right. It is.

- Do something.

Wow. This woman's really abrasive.

You get it out of here before

it starts to smell up my shop. Hurry up.

- Just run, take it out back right now.

- I am. It's squishy.

Trash truck.

Let's just get it on out of here pronto.

That's not the plan.

No, no, no. Speckles, no!

Hold it.

Good luck, rest in peace and all that.

Oh, no!

Oh, my God!

No, no, no.

- Is this OK?

- Yeah, this is good.

OK, Harry.

You know what to do.

- She was way cuter than the other one.

- Definitely.

OK, he's got it. He's got the PDA.

What the hell was that?!

OK, I got him. I got him.

- Let's go. Just stay calm, OK?

- I got him. Here he is.

Look on the bright side: at least

you haven't been marked down yet.

What's that on your butt?

It's a birthmark.

Never seen a birthmark?

I have seen that birthmark.

Look at this. I got the same one.

Don't point that thing at me.

It might go off.

Seriously, just look at my butt.

You see? You see? We must be related.

No. I am a genetically

engineered super spy.

Ben spent years training us. We do

things that people only dream of doing.

Yeah. That's what they want you

to think. So you'll do tricks for them.

But you, my friend,

are a common, everyday

pet shop guinea pig just like me.

We must have been separated at birth.

But fate has brought us back together,

my brother.

- Don't say that.

- I have a brother.

- Don't say that word.

- I have a brother! Come here, brother.

Come here, brother.

All right. My brother doesn't like hugs.

I'm good with that.

I am not your brother.

Listen. Darwin,

I'm not gonna dress it up, OK?

I sit here every day

hoping to get adopted, to find family.

And now, because of you,

family has found me.

Hurley, there is no way

that we are related,

so just get that

through your head, OK?

OK. Here we go.

Darwin was right.

The file was marked "Clusterstorm. "

- Can you open this?

- I don't know.

OK, well, we've already seen that.

OK, just unplug the computer.

Unplug. Go, go, go.

- Was that a worm?

- Nope.

This PDA is infected

with an extermination virus.

Yes!

What is going on in there?

No, no, no! Not the line, not the line.

Don't cross the line.

Busted.

Can I offer you something?

A macadamia nut perhaps?

So, this is why I never saw you eat.

Not once in all these years.

All these treats and you never shared?

You think I wanted to spend my nights

sneaking out to feed myself?

Starving by day and

praying for night to come

so I could take a bite without the

threat of you eating everything I have?

You drove me to this!

My friend Speckles

got crushed in a garbage truck,

and you said nothing about this.

I'm outta here.

- Darwin? I want you to go.

- I am going.

You can't worry about me. You got a job

to do. You can'tjeopardize it for me.

- I wasn't going to.

- You're only saying that

so I won't have to feel the pain so bad

when you leave.

Keep believing that.

Whatever works for you.

Oh, what a guy. What a guy!

- OK, OK. Listen, Hurley.

- You got to go, man.

- I got to go. You got to let go.

- You got to go.

- I've got to let go.

- Let go of me.

- OK.

- OK.

Don't give up the dream.

You're gonna find the family

you're looking for someday.

So long.

So long, brother!

I miss him already.

Good luck with the climb back up,

Hurley! The cage is mine!

And it's all true.

My grandfather was a ferret!

Now who's been marked down?

So, there's the North Star,

which means Ben's is east.

OK, I need to head that way.

Go back, Hurley.

Fine!

You think I can't make it out here?

You think you're the only one

who can survive in the big bad world?

Well, the truth is, Hurley is out of

his cage, and it's time to hit the town!

Guinea pigs gone wild!

Yeah!

Darwin!

Darwin? I saw a cat.

OK, you can come with me

until we find another pet shop.

Thanks, bro. Did I mention

I'm also afraid of the dark?

Greetings, Mr. Saber.

I have a status report.

You are a brilliant business partner,

Mr. Yanshu.

But remind me why we call these things

video conferences.

As we've discussed, it's in everyone's

best interest my identity remain hidden.

Project Clusterstorm

is perfectly on course, sir.

Sabersense will activate

in about 19 hours.

Why are we spending a large amount

of money tracking space junk?

Old satellites. Booster rockets.

Four million pounds of debris.

And why do we care?

The satellites, sir.

Communication systems.

We have to protect them. Integral aspect

of the Sabersense network.

We've got a lot riding on this, Yanshu.

I've put my trust

in your engineering skills.

- Mooch, is that you?

- Yeah, yeah!

Are the others OK?

- You know where they are?

- Yeah!

You want help with that?

E... I... i...

...a...

Oh, yeah.

Oh, Mooch... You're a genius.

I was so worried about you.

I don't like when my fly is down.

Hey, Marcie?

Yeah, it's Ben. I found them.

I'll be by in ten minutes

to pick you up.

There's the delivery truck from the lab.

¿Cómo estás, gentlemen?

We're looking for some rodents.

Si, for you or for your children?

For the government.

- We're special agents.

- What? Yeah, right.

Are they fugitives

or terrorists or something?

Just answer the question.

OK, sorry. I'm just saying, you look

like a regular guinea pig to me.

Listen, I told you, I'm a commando

who just happens to be a guinea pig.

Oh, yeah?

So where's all your fancy spy gear?

Back at the lab.

Same lab where I keep

my hot Canadian guinea pig girlfriend?

That's where my stuff is, too.

I have a unicorn back there

and a dragon that I ride around.

Look, if you want to stick with me,

stop with the yapping and keep up.

No can do, bro.

I'm calling a hunger strike.

And I am not moving an inch.

Civilians. Come on, soggy.

I'm hungry, I'm wet, I'm hungry...

Dogs!

Dogs. Why does it always

have to be dogs?

All right, MacGyver,

you got any brilliant ideas?

Yeah, I got an idea.

- I think we made it.

- Great. How do we stop it?

Just keep running.

That's not how you stop it!

That's how you make it go!

- Hurley, get your butt outta my face.

- Get your face outta my butt!

So this is what spies do.

¿Cómo estás, chica?

We're looking for

three guinea pigs and a mole.

Same one as the Feds,

or are yours from a rival militia?

Wait, what Feds?

Men in Black were here

looking for the same thing.

Wanted to know who had bought them.

And did you tell them?

No, I refused and we shot it out.

What do you think? It's the Feds!

Thank you.

Mine! The cage is mine!

This is gonna be awesome.

I'm pretty sure this is

animal cruelty, but I love it!

Yeah!

This wheel doesn't work!

Strike!

- Is that all you got?

- Ready to go for the record?

Maybe this would be a good time

for you to take your medication!

I feel the need... the need for speed!

Say cheese!

Excuse me! Coming through!

- Yeah!

- Yes!

- That was off the hizz-ook!

- Connor! Take out the trash.

OK.

- Now!

- I'm coming!

What do we have here?

You, my friend, suck.

I'm coming for you, Juarez.

That's what I'm talking about!

Time for a joyride.

Yeah!

Get out the road, fool!

- Hey!

- Don't become roadkill!

I ain't used to driving stick!

- Not this time!

- Stop it. Stop it! Come back!

I'll come back when you're older

and put you in prison!

- Get over here!

- Don't go anywhere.

- I'll be right back.

- Finally!

- Juarez, Juarez! Where are you?

- Connor, get him!

I have to save his fur again?

Juarez?

Juarez!

Yeah!

I got you!

Why are you dressed like

"Guinea Pig Barbie?"

One more word and I'll turn you

into a small side of bacon.

Well, you are sizzling hot!

Connor!

Get this off of me!

Don't need that, or that, or that!

- Although, maybe this can stay.

- Juarez, you are fine china!

What exactly are we doing, anyway?

Two days ago, my team embarked on a

mission. Today, I'm gonna finish it.

My brother's a loon!

I love him, but he's...

Cake! Did I tell you I love cake?

I've heard of places like this!

They sell something called "layer cake!"

It's notjust one cake,

it's many, in layers!

Often up to six!

It is the Holy Grail of human food!

I can't believe you're getting

so excited about cake. Coffeemaker!

That's the same coffeemaker

that was on the Clusterstorm file.

Hurley, I got to check out

that coffeemaker. Stay close.

Fifty billion rodents in the world,

and I get stuck with this guy.

I hope you're keeping track

of all these parts.

Don't watch me. Watch my back.

Right now, you're my eyes and ears.

Just act natural.

- OK. Sure.

- Look, Daddy!

Hi, there. Hi.

- That wasn't very convincing.

- Hurley, do you know what this is?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure

it's called vandalism.

This is a military grade,

multiple array transceiver

developed for the military's

Unmanned Weapons Program.

Sorry, I tuned out there.

What were you saying?

I gotta get this chip back to Ben's.

OK, that's weird.

Hurley, duck!

Stay down!

I've heard coffee's bad for you,

but this is ridiculous!

Come on, move it!

- Why are we stopping?

- We're gonna fight it.

We're gonna do what?

We have to get that chip.

Good luck with that!

- Suck in your gut!

- I am!

Darwin!

Hang on, Hurley!

Yippee-ki-yay, coffeemaker!

Watch out, bro!

You want some of this,

you overgrown can opener?

Don't think the warranty

is gonna cover that.

Oh, brother. I thought I lost you there.

OK, thanks Hurley! Boundaries!

Talk about a killer cappuccino.

What is this thing?

This is Clusterstorm.

Saber must be weaponizing

his entire line of appliances.

We have to get this back to Ben's.

How are we gonna do that?

Hey, bro? You have to admit,

we make a pretty sweet team.

I could get used to all this

secret agent stuff

if you're ever looking

for a new recruit.

Hurley, just be quiet and lean right.

Look who I found out back.

- Blaster! Juarez!

- Darwin! You made it.

- Hurley, what are you doing here?

- Hey, guys!

Hurley, up high. Down low. Too slow.

Wait a minute. Where's Speckles?

Speckles didn't make it.

- What do you mean, he didn't make it?

- He was gonna break out

and engineer our escape,

but then the mission went bad.

He got crushed in a garbage truck.

- Speckles. Jeez.

- He sacrificed himself for us.

This is all my fault.

Ben, there's nothing you could've done.

No, I could've told you the truth

ofwho you really are.

Darwin, I misled you.

The truth is,

you're not genetically engineered.

Any of you.

I should've never... should've never

sent you out into the field. It's...

So we are not special at all?

No engineering? No enhancements?

We're just common, ordinary rodents?

I wanted you guys to think of yourselves

as more than just balls of fur

waiting for your next pellet.

Well, maybe you can

explain that to Speckles.

Ben, we need to know.

Tell us who we are.

OK, you guys want to know?

Juarez, we rescued you at a

roadside tapas stand in the Pyrenees.

I guess there you're some kind of,

you know, delicacy.

Blaster, we found you

at a cosmetics company.

They were testing, you know, some kind

of hair gel for allergic reactions.

And Speckles we found...

...you know, right before his

home was dug out to build a golf course.

And, Darwin, I...

I purchased you at a pet store.

Your parents abandoned you

because you were the runt of the litter.

I was a runt? What do you mean?

I never even had a chance.

This is Carter.

OK, we're on it.

Dispatch just got a report of two giant

hamsters riding a skateboard on Pacific.

Let's finish this.

You were right all along. I am just an

average, everyday pet store guinea pig.

Since when did you

start listening to me?

My parents didn't even want me.

Look, Darwin, you saved us from

the dogs, you defeated the Terminator,

read the stars like a map

and got us here.

I couldn't have done any of that.

Do you have any idea how many guinea

pigs could've done all those things?

I mean, literally, like three.

And they're all in this room.

Yeah, you're right.

I may not be genetically engineered,

but I'm no house pet, either.

Hey team, come over here. Listen up.

What Ben did was right.

He wanted us to believe in ourselves.

And we did believe.

We still have our training,

our abilities.

Blaster, you're a graduate

of West Point.

Yeah, correspondence course.

Yeah, whatever. And Juarez, how many

hours have you put in on that simulator?

Two hundred... thousand.

I helped with the tire!

We may be guinea pigs,

but we're not ordinary. We're special.

I still believe in us,

even if nobody else does.

I believe.

I've always believed.

Ben, we don't have much time.

That coffeemaker's no coffeemaker.

When I tried to disconnect this chip,

it came alive and it attacked us.

It was so gnarly!

If I hadn't been there to take

cover fire for Darwin, who knows...

The Sabersense microchip

caused it to transform.

Ben, Sabersense and Clusterstorm

are the same thing.

And if every Saber product

in the world has that chip,

that means that every appliance on Earth

is gonna be a killing machine.

Guys...

Sabersense launches in... 30 minutes.

I tried to access the

Clusterstorm file on your PDA,

but Saber, he protected it

with some nasty virus.

I mean, I'm a little bit at a loss.

Sorry to interrupt. Quick question.

If that little thingamabob

is all that, like you say it is,

why don't you just use that

to destroy Saber's mainframe?

I'll go back in the box. Oh, pepperoni!

- That could work. That could work!

- OK, let's do this!

Wait a second.

We don't have our equipment.

Well, that's not entirely true.

This is a little prototype

I've been working on

called the Rapid Deployment Vehicle.

She'll do 65

with the throttle wide open.

And, Blaster, it has a rocking stereo.

That's what's up! Pimp my ride!

All right, we got gear.

And we know our mission.

Infiltrate Saber's mansion,

locate the main network core

and dock this infected PDA.

Bring down big mama with baby disease.

I don't know what that means.

But, yeah, that's good.

Here are the keys.

- Don't scratch it.

- All right. This is for Speckles.

Dr. Kendall, we know you're in there!

Open the door!

Everybody, into the RDV!

You, too, Hurley. Move it!

Shotgun!

Open the door, or we'll open it for you!

Hold on.

Don't these fools

know we're on the same team?

- Juarez, plot us a course to Saber's.

- I'm on it.

- Go, go, go!

- I'm going, I'm going, I'm going!

Mooch, we need eyes in the sky.

Call for backup.

Tell them we're in pursuit of three

guinea pigs driving mobile spheres.

OK!

Actually, could you make that call?

My stomach doesn't do well

with action-adventure.

Hurley, don't you dare.

Yuck, Hurley. That's disgusting.

- I can't breathe.

- Roll down the window.

- These things don't have windows!

- That's real professional, guys.

Mooch, where's that recon?

- OK, here come the bad guys.

- Better have their "A" game.

- Yeah!

- Mommy!

Where's that backup?

- May I ask why we're chasing rodents?

- No, you may not.

OK, you can just

let me out at the next corner.

We got three party crashers on our tail.

- Hurry up! You're losing them!

- They're boxing us in!

- Yeah, I got 'em, I got 'em.

- Maybe they want to adopt us!

Not likely, Hurley. Hold on, guys!

- Let's just crush 'em!

- Unlock it and rock it. Now!

- Time to divide and conquer.

- See ya!

- Oh, yeah! Come and get me!

- Where'd he go?

- How low can you go?

- There he goes! Under the trailer!

Little is the new big!

Bye-bye, bipeds! Smell you later!

- I want to go back to the pet store!

- You might want to buckle up.

He paid for undercoating.

What a sucker!

Let's see if it protects him from this.

- Hey, what's that?

- This is my little friend.

- Say hello.

- Hello!

And goodbye!

Better hang on to your lunch!

Did we win?

This is Unit Two. We lost them.

How? You're driving a V-8. They're

rolling around in little plastic balls.

This one's not getting away from me!

Darwin, I need some help here.

Mooch, I need a visual on Juarez.

- I can't get these guys off my tail.

- We don't have tails.

Hang on, Juarez. Hurley, we're

going to the fair. Blaster, hard right.

All right, Juarez.

Let's take it to the house!

OK, I'm taking the lead.

- You're scaring me!

- Shut it, Carter!

Here's that box of M-80s.

Careful with these.

- You're driving angry!

- Yes, I am!

Come here, you little rodent.

Carl, look out! Look out!

Let's let 'em go,

let's let 'em go! Look out!

- This is so festive!

- This is crazy. This is crazy!

These are good seats!

I'm gonna flatten this little varmint!

Mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Look out! Look out!

How you doing?

Don't try this at home, kids!

That was great! Let's do it again.

Face it, Trigstad.

You just got out-driven by gophers.

- Guys, I'm going in.

- Hurley, suck in your gut.

Blaster, I need to

tell you something about Juarez.

You have nothing to worry about.

She's not interested in me.

- She told you that?

- Yeah. She really wants you...

She's trying to make you more interested

in her by acting disinterested.

Yeah, well maybe

she told you she wants me

in order to look not interested in you,

which makes you more interested in her.

Interesting.

Members of the Saberling inner sanctum,

my co-conspirators in this endeavour,

are we ready to dominate?

Are we ready to change the world?

- Go, go, go, go!

- Geronimo!

Hurley, this is our exfil. It's very

important that you stand guard.

Whatever you do, don't leave this spot.

We're counting on you.

OK, OK. Got it.

Hey, does this mean

I'm part of the team?

There's the network core.

Behind the glass.

Look! We can gain access

through that panel.

OK, follow me.

- Hold up, guys.

- What is it?

It's a tripwire.

It's a booby trap.

Don't touch it, or this place'll blow.

Tick, tick, boom.

I don't think anybody'll mind

if I check the perimeter.

As I press this button,

we move forward

to a brave new world order

owned and operated by Saberling.

We're too late.

We can still stop it ifwe download the

virus into Saber's computer. Let's go.

Cherries.

Cake! Oh, you're so beautiful!

Oh, come to Papa!

It's all Saber, sir.

Is this enough probable cause?

Eyewitnesses report

common household appliances

- coming to life and chasing people...

- Those are Saberling appliances!

But they're just supposed to

communicate with each other.

- Bravo, Echo! Go! Go!

- Spread out!

What is that thing?

It's heading for the tripwire.

- It's got Hurley!

- Oh, hey guys!

- What's it doing?

- Peppers. Casserole.

It's trying to figure out

how long to cook him.

Cook me? Get me out of here!

- Move it, Blaster!

- I don't want to be an appetizer!

- We got to save him!

- Get me out!

Let's go to Plan B!

- Blaster, immobilize that thing!

- I'm on it!

- Don't let it hit the tripwire!

- I want to go home!

Soup. Eggs. Beef.

- Oh, man! It's packing a toaster!

- Broccoli.

All teams, go, go!

Why is this happening?

This wasn't the plan!

- Saber, what's going on?

- Get us out of here!

Take Saber down to the command truck!

Bacon. Carrot. Soup.

- Hurley, don't be scared.

- I'm not a chicken.

Chicken. Match.

Not even close!

- Come on, Hurley!

- Just a little piece of cake!

- Didn't drop the cake.

- Hurley, let's go!

Hunk ofjunk!

It's gonna hit the tripwire!

- Run for cover!

- Darwin, jump!

No!

Are you OK? We can't get through.

I'm all right. I'm gonna keep going.

Not without us. No way.

There's no time.

I've got to take down the network core.

Hurley, I told you

stay put and guard the exfil.

Didn't I tell you that?

I thought I could depend on you.

All right. Now let's huddle up.

Come on. Here's to the team.

Good luck, Darwin.

We'll find another way through.

OK, this is good. Over there.

Marcie, let's go.

I find it hard to believe

you've got nothing to do with this.

You have to believe me.

I don't know what's going on.

I only wanted to be the biggest

appliance manufacturer in the world.

What do you want?

I got major problems here.

There's your problem. The transmission's

coming off the core of his computer.

- G-Force went in to shut it down.

- G-Force?

You sent those gophers in

without my authorization?

Sir, I'm picking up a video feed.

It's one of ours.

Let's see it.

- What in the heck is that?

- That's Darwin.

You say that like it's a good thing.

What's he gonna do,

gnaw his way out of there?

He's gonna insert a virus into

the core and take down the network.

- Hello, Darwin.

- Speckles, you're alive.

You infiltrated the bad guy's lair.

Where is he?

I am the bad guy.

What? You really think I let myself

get killed in a garbage truck?

Well, I hid in a soup can.

Rode it all the way to the city dump.

And it was stinky.

- Speckles?

- I can't believe the mole was the mole.

Actually, you may call me Mr. Yanshu.

- No.

- Business associate of Leonard Saber.

You tricked Saber

into helping you build Clusterstorm?

How could you do this to us?

I thought we were friends.

I put my life on the line for you.

Yanshu was in my basement

this whole time?

And he wasn't a man. He was a mole.

"Yanshu" is the Chinese word for mole.

Sabersense was just a cover.

I created an army of robotic appliances,

and they created an array of

giant electromagnetic nodes...

Nodes capable of pulling down all

the space junk orbiting the planet,

and driving every human underground.

- So, what do you think?

- You've betrayed us. You!

- You sabotaged our presentation.

- Extermination virus. Nasty stuff.

Speckles, why?

You ever Google the word "mole", Darwin?

Three million entries.

Not on how to care for 'em,

or love 'em, or pet 'em. No!

Three million entries

on how to exterminate them!

The humans came and destroyed

our home... destroyed our home.

Son, if you ever get the chance

to bring mankind to its knees... do it.

They showed us no mercy, Darwin.

Well, now it's my turn

to do a little pest control.

If you'll excuse me... it's showtime.

Going up!

He's created some kind of monster.

I think I'll stay here

and guard the exfil.

- What's our plan?

- Stop Speckles and save the world.

That's more of a goal than a plan.

It's working! Look out!

I'm feeling ten feet tall.

No place like home.

There's no place like home.

That'll leave a mark.

Come on! We got to

get up there and stop Speckles.

How big is this thing going to get?

You humans stole my home!

Now I will steal yours.

Look out!

Something is missing. Oh, I know!

Incoming!

Just like humans.

Bringing guns to a space junk fight.

- Darwin!

- Speckles, shut this down, now!

- No.

- Then I'll shut you down.

I have no quarrel with you, Darwin,

but mankind must pay.

You know I can't let you do that.

Then you leave me no choice, my friend.

My parachute.

The PDA!

Go get it, girl.

No!

Hurley, what are you doing?

I gotta get you back up there.

- No, Hurley! Don't do it.

- Go get him, bro! It's the only way!

Coming, Hurley!

Take that! And that!

It's no fun being the little guy, is it?

Everybody, hold on!

Fall back!

Speckles, if you keep doing this

then you're no better than the humans

who destroyed your home and your family.

Well, that's kind of the point here.

I lost my family.

No, you're wrong. We're your family.

Me and Blaster

and Juarez and Ben and Marcie.

Speckles, Ben took us in

when nobody else wanted us.

And he made us a family.

We're a family.

Oh, no! No! What have I done?

What have I done?

It's too late, Darwin! I can't stop it!

But we can.

It's working! Darwin, it's working!

Speckles, come with me.

I got you!

We've gotta find Hurley.

- Hold it right there.

- We'll take him from here.

Relax, guys. He's code four.

- What a mess.

- There you go. Easy.

- Darwin, over here!

- Hang on!

- I got him. I got him.

- I can't hold it much longer.

No, Hurley.

No, not you, Hurley.

Look, he landed next to his cake.

No.

Oh, man, Hurley.

- Hurley.

- Oh, no.

No. No. This is all my fault.

He was my man.

Hurley, wake up, pal.

Listen, I just...

I just wanted you to know you

were as good as anyone out there today.

I don't know what they call it

back in the pet shop,

but out here we...

well, we call it being a hero.

All you ever wanted was a family.

I never got to tell you this, but...

I'd be proud...

proud to call you my brother.

Hurley.

Hey, I think I saw his nose twitch.

Hurley?

Did you mean it

when you called me "brother?"

Not exactly. I was just...

That was like a figurative...

- You bet I did.

- Brother. I have a brother!

This is great!

We can spend every

Thanksgiving together,

take road trips to Vegas,

have tickle fights!

Oh, come here. Give me a hug, bro.

Oh, this is great!

So, Hurley.

You still want to be a part of the team?

Two...

Three...

Twenty-seven!

- Hurley. I'm right here watching you.

- Thirty-two.

OK, that's it.

I don't want to get too buff.

Not to worry.

Alrighty, guys.

Welcome to your new home.

OK, but I'm telling you now,

I don't do well with roommates.

- Easy there, tiger.

- Everybody, out! Everybody, out!

Jail break! Jail break!

Look, Juarez, I gotta know.

Which one of us are you interested in?

No, no, Blaster! You've gotta ask her

who she's not interested in.

Thirty, 42, 83.

As far as I can tell,

you're not interested in either of us,

which means either

you want both of us or neither of us,

which leaves us desperate

even though we don't have a clue!

And that's just how I like it.

Hey, guys? It's the Director of the FBI.

G-Force. I want you to know

that Leonard Saber

has been forced to undertake the largest

recall of consumer products in history.

And he's getting help from somebody

quite knowledgeable about the defects.

Three down, 178,000 to go.

I think I'm gonna be here awhile.

But I'm gonna rejoin the team

when I'm done. If they'll have me.

Your friend, Agent Killian, has been

reassigned. He has a few words for you.

Hello, G-Force.

Look! A frozen FBI-cicle.

I'm sorry that I doubted you.

How long do I have to stay down here?

It's really cold!

Team. As the full details

of your valour come to light,

it is an honour and a privilege to say

"thank you" on behalf of this country.

You guinea pigs pack more courage and

heart into those teensy little frames

than any agents I've ever seen.

G-Force, your funding has been restored.

Welcome to the FBI.

Guys... we got our badges.

- Yeah, boy! We're official-tishal now!

- Finally!

Not bad for a runt.

Thanks for believing in me, Ben.

Hurley, I've been thinking...

If you're gonna be out there

helping us save the world,

you're gonna need this.

You're one of us now.

My very own badge

and a new name! Rookie!

- So we're finally agents.

- No, special agents.

Let's get this party started right!

Get him on the good foot!

All right, Hurley!

G-Force in the house!

My turn! My turn!

Hey, boys!

This ferret can dance, right? Right?

Wrong!

Oh, Bucky!

Oh, yeah!

I'm a mole. I got a thing for worms.

Good thing I took shop.

Cherries.

Oh, my gosh.

I look like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Yes! Yes! I am out, baby!

Finally, the recognition I deserve.

I'm Jeff Gordon! With fur!