Funny Pets 2 (2018) - full transcript

(upbeat music)

♪ I am me ♪

♪ And you are you ♪

♪ Doesn't matter just what you do ♪

♪ Just get on down ♪

♪ Get in the groove ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

♪ Make your body move ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

♪ Make your body move ♪

♪ Make your body move ♪



♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

(whimsical music)

- Oh shucks.

It's Monday, guys.

And the humans are gone all day.

What in the world are we gonna do?

- Get totally bored.

- There's gotta be something fun to do!

- Oh, I know!

How about we order a large pizza

with a heaping extra dose of anchovies.

- Yeah!

And sunflower seeds.

- And old shoes!



- Ew!

Oh, never mind.

- Hey, guys.

What about we go for a
spin around the city?

Stretch our wings a little.

(Mandy growls)

- That sounds very exciting, Frank.

But you seem to forget.

Jerry and I don't have wings!

- Oh yeah, I forgot.

- Ooh, guys, I got it!

(both) What?

Guess what's on TV?

- What is it?

- Funny Pets!

- (yowls) My favorite show!

- Mine too!

- How can you not love

- Watching Funny Pets

- Having fun.

- Turn it on!

(bells ding)

♪ I am me ♪

♪ And you are you ♪

♪ Doesn't matter just what you do ♪

♪ Just get on down ♪

♪ Get in the groove ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

♪ Make your body move ♪

♪ Make your body move ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

(bell dings)

(funky music)

♪ I am me ♪

♪ And you are you ♪

♪ Doesn't matter just what you do ♪

♪ Just get on down ♪

♪ Get in the groove ♪

♪ All you gotta do is
just make your body move ♪

- (laughs) Hey, that cat is
showing that pooch what's what.

(laughing)

- Oh, cats are always beating us dogs up.

They have no respect for our
great intelligence and size.

(Mandy laughs)

- Of course we do.

Tons of respect!

- That's not the impression
I got the other day, Mandy,

when you were talking
about Jerry's breath.

- Uh, (growls), Frank!

Never mind your squawking.

Let's watch Funny Pets!

- Hey, what about my breath?

- Nothing!

I didn't say a thing about your breath.

(coughs) Stinks!

- Hey!

I heard that.

- Heard what?

I just (coughs) coughed
up a (coughs) hairball.

- No you didn't.

- Ssssh, guys.

I'm trying to watch Funny Pets.

(upbeat rock music)

- Cats beat dogs anytime.

- No way.

- Cats are smarter.

- Dogs are bigger (chuckles).

- Say that to the chihuahua.

- Hey, who's talking to you?

- (squawks) Never mind.

You two are too lazy to get in a fight.

- I'm not lazy.

Jerry is lazy.

- Hey!

Who are you calling lazy?

- (squawk laughing) Cats and dogs fights

are the best, don't you think, guys?

- I called you lazy, Lazy.

- Hey!

Both of you, stop fighting
likes cats and dogs.

I'm trying to watch Funny Pets.

(upbeat music)

♪ This is my ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Day dream ♪

♪ Won't you come ♪

♪ Right with me ♪

♪ To the scene ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

- Hey!

Cuddling cats and dogs.

- Oh! Cute!

- Eh, the fights are more fun.

- Sorry about what I said about
your breath earlier, Jerry.

- That's okay, Mandy.

I should keep up with
my oral hygiene more.

(upbeat music)
♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ Give me a beat ♪

♪ I wanna see you people
dancin' in the street ♪

♪ I don't wanna be some kind of toy ♪

♪ I'm not a killjoy ♪

♪ Just have a little faith in me. ♪

♪ I'll make you see ♪

♪ I see a little skeptic in your eyes ♪

♪ And you don't even care to compromise ♪

♪ So let me show you what I mean ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ Give me a beat ♪

♪ I wanna see you people
dancin' in the streets ♪

♪ Let me see your smiling faces ♪

♪ In all of the places ♪

♪ If you want to feel the way I do ♪

♪ Be true ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ And I would do it all for you ♪

♪ Let's make a run for it tonight ♪

♪ Hold on tight ♪

♪ 'Cause it might be a funky ride ♪

♪ Side by side ♪

♪ We can always make believe ♪

♪ A fairy tale will not deceive ♪

♪ So let me show you what I mean ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪
(squawks)

- Hey!

I guess it's true.

Dogs and cats can get along.

- Yeah.

I suppose we can.

I do love you, Jerry.

- I love you too, Mandy.

- (squawks) Hey, what about me?

(both) We love you too, Frank.

- (squawks) You guys are the best.

- Hey!

What's up next on Funny Pets?

- [Jerry] Wet cats! (laughs)

- [Frank] (laughing) Wet cats.

I love it!

- Hey!

What about we watch wet dogs instead?

- No way.

Wet cats is way funnier.

- (squawks) Yeah!

Have you seen the face on a wet cat?

Priceless.

- Not funny, guys.

Give me that remote, Jerry!

- Over my body playing dead, Mandy.

We're watching wet cats video.

Isn't that right, Frank?

- Totally.

(squawk laughing)

Wet cats, wet cats!

- (growling) Give me that remote!

- [Jerry] No way.

Don't you know what time it is?

- [Frank] (squawk) Yeah,
it's time for Funny Pets.

(laughing)

(squawks) That's so funny.

- Hey!
- What?

- There is nothing
funny about any of that.

- Actually there's a lot funny

about a lot of that.

- What do you know, Frank?

You're a bird.

- Sure am.

And we fly in the rain all the time.

- Well flying in the
rain's a lot different

than lying in the rain.

- Who would lie down in the rain?

- A dog.

- Excuse me, Mandy.

I never lie down in the rain.

But you cats are a different story.

Always curled up and relaxing.

(Jerry and Frank laughing)

- Look at that cat.

What a riot!

- [Mandy] Well I don't think it's funny.

I don't think it's funny at all.

(playful music)

(music intensifies)

- (squawk laughing) What a great show.

I love this stuff.

- Well good for you.

- Hey, give Mandy a break why don't ya?

- You want Frank to give me a break?

You just called me lazy!

- No I didn't.

I called cats lazy.

- Um, hello?

- Sssh (squawk), quiet down, you guys.

Funny Pets is back on.

- [Mandy] Oh, look.

Wet dog!

(upbeat music)

♪ This is my ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Day dream ♪

♪ Won't you come ♪

♪ Right with me ♪

♪ To the scene ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da-Da-Da-Dum ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ This is my ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Day dream ♪

♪ Won't you come ♪

♪ Right with me ♪

♪ To the scene ♪

♪ My beautiful day dream ♪

♪ My beautiful day dream ♪

♪ My beautiful day dream ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da-Da-Dum ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ This is my ♪

♪ Beautiful ♪

♪ Day dream ♪

♪ Won't you come ♪

♪ Right with me ♪

♪ To the scene ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da-Da-Da-Dum ♪

♪ Da-Do-Da-Da-Do-Da-Da ♪

- (squawk laughing)

I can't!

(squawk laughing)

I can't breathe.

(squawk laughing)

- (lauging) I haven't
seen videos that funny

since I don't know when!

Dogs are way funnier than
cats when they get wet.

- I'm glad you think so, Mandy.

- Oh come on.

You're not mad are you?

Really?

Really?

- All right, you two.

Kiss and make up, huh?

We're all friends here.

- Yeah.

As long as you guys are
laughing at me apparently.

When the joke's on Jerry, he doesn't seem

to find it quite as funny.

- Oh come on, Jer, cheer up.

Funny Pets is a great show.

No matter who we're laughing at.

Being able to laugh at ourselves

and not take ourselves so seriously

is part of getting along.

- I know.

I just don't like water any
more than you do, Mandy.

Rain's no fun.

And baths, (shudders).

- It's okay, buddy.

Trust me.

I don't enjoy a bathtub full of water

any more than you do.

- Right.

I mean, where does that
stuff even come from?

Outside the water just disappears

into the ground when it rains.

- Well I can tell you, Jerry,

from years of curious feline
investigation and study,

that the water you see
in the bathtubs and sinks

is the same water we get
in our drinking bowls!

- (gasps) Really?

- Oh, boy.

- And all of it is the same water

that rains down from the sky outside.

And the same water that
flows in the rivers

and fills the lakes and oceans.

- Get out.

- Mm-hmm.

The humans distill all of it

and run it through dams
and filters to purify it

so it's clean and okay for
us drink and wash with.

- That's amazing, Mandy!

- Isn't it?

Guess us cats aren't
so lazy after all, huh?

In fact, we're pretty smart.

- You sure are.

- [Mandy] Don't mention it.

(upbeat music)

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ Give me a beat ♪

♪ I wanna you see people
dancin' in the streets ♪

♪ I don't wanna be some kind of toy ♪

♪ I'm not a killjoy ♪

♪ Just have a little faith in me ♪

♪ I'll make you see ♪

♪ I see a little skeptic in your eyes ♪

♪ And you don't even care to compromise ♪

♪ But let me show you what I feel ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ Give me a beat ♪

♪ I wanna see you people
dancin' in the streets ♪

♪ Let me see your smiling faces ♪

♪ In all of the places ♪

♪ If you want to feel the way I do ♪

♪ Be true ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ And I would do it all for you ♪

♪ Let's make a run for it tonight ♪

♪ Hold on tight ♪

♪ 'Cause it might be a funky ride ♪

♪ Side by side ♪

♪ We can always make believe ♪

♪ A fairy tale will not deceive ♪

♪ So let me show you what I mean ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ Give me a beat ♪

♪ I wanna see you people
dancin' in the streets ♪

♪ Let me see your smiling faces ♪

♪ In all of the places ♪

♪ If you want to feel the way I do ♪

♪ Be true ♪

♪ Play me the music ♪

♪ And I would do it all for you ♪

- So the same water we
drink when we're thirsty

is the same water we don't
want on us when it rains

or when our owners give us a bath?

- One and the same, Jerry.

- Wow.

- Fascinating isn't it?

- It sure is!

- And hey, you know what?

I bet those lazy cats
did a lot of lying around

while they studied that water. (laughs)

- They sure are lazy.

- And cats are the coolest animals

you can have in your house.

I mean, think about it.

We're clean, we're smart, we're quiet.

So people can relax around us.

Did you know that simply
being around a cat

has been proven to lower
a person's blood pressure?

We're even good for your health!

- How do I keep finding myself
stuck in these conversations?

- Well, Frank, it's probably
because you know I'm right

and you want to learn a thing or two.

As the sole cat of the house,

I'm naturally the most level-headed

and smartest animal of the three of us.

- More like, nobody's accidentally left

the window open in awhile.

If only I could fly away.

- Don't do that, Frank.

You're my friend.

- Oh, don't worry.

These new windows they installed

have screens outside the glass.

I couldn't escape if I wanted to.

Like now.

- Okay, okay.

I'll end today's lesson with this.

Cats aren't just super cool.

They're the bestest house pets ever!

And don't even get me started on kittens.

- Hey you two!

Funny Pets is coming on.

- Oh, thank goodness.

Turn it up would ya?

- Look!

This episode's all about cats.

- Ooh!

Yeah, turn it up.

- What did I do to deserve this?

- [Mandy] (laughing) Look at that!

This is great.

- I know, right?

They look like aliens.

Just look!

- [Mandy] Aliens?

I think they're cute.

♪ Nothing's gonna bring me down ♪

♪ I'm feeling great ♪

♪ This feeling inside my
heart is telling me to take ♪

♪ The chance of my life ♪

♪ And not to be afraid ♪

♪ I'm singing, oh, oh, ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ I woke up in the morning ♪

♪ A smile was on my face ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna bring me down ♪

♪ I'm feeling great ♪

♪ This feeling inside my
heart is telling me to take ♪

♪ The chance of my life ♪

♪ And not to be afraid ♪

♪ I'm singing, oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

(kitten meows)

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

- (squawk laughing) Oh you know,

you guys are right.

(laughing) Cats are worth watching.

That's ridiculous.

(Jerry and Frank laughing)

- I know, right?

- I don't know.

I've seen dogs that were more ridiculous.

- Sure, dogs are silly.

But nothing like cats.

I think it's their superiority complexes

that make it so funny
when they do goofy stuff.

- Pfft.

Well kittens don't have
superiority complexes.

Kittens are just soft and cute and cuddly.

Like these ones.

Awww, look at those darlings!

(soft piano music)

(kitten meowing)

(soft piano music)

Awwwwww!

- Awwww.

- [Mandy] Told ya so.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, kid's cute.

I'm not gonna argue with ya.

But even though these kittens

might be cute as all get out,

they all lead to one thing.

- What's that?

- Trouble!

(upbeat country music)

- Well you know what they say.

- What's that?

- Nothing worth having comes easy.

Kittens are still the cutest,
most rewarding pets around.

- What about puppies?

- Puppies, schmuppies.

Have you ever seen a puppy
operate a TV remote control?

- Well, no.

But I use the remote all the time.

- That's different.

You're a full grown dog.

- But I used to be a puppy.

- That's true, Mandy.

Every big dog started out a puppy.

- And how old were you
when you figured out

how to use the remote control, Jerry?

- Mmmmmm.

I was three!

- Three's an adult in dog years.

I was one.

- Oh (blows raspberry).

- One year old kitten's a cat.

- Pfft.

Whatever.

- I know how to turn off a house alarm.

- And you know how to turn it on.

Do you have any idea how shrill

that sound is to a parrot's ear?

- Yes I do.

Us dogs hear everything.

- Then why do you continue to do it?

- (chuckles) Because he's a dog.

Overenthusiastic, overactive, and simple.

- Simple?

I don't know any pets that are

all that great with technology.

- Hmmmmm.

- Hmmmmm.

(all) Hmmmmmm.

(playful music)

- Well, looks like
we're alone for the day.

You guys wanna do something?

- Meh, like what?

- Why do we have to do anything?

Why can't we just be lazy?

- (groans) You'd know all about that.

- What's that supposed to mean?

She's the cat!

- Pfft.

Whatever.

- See what I mean?

- Hey!

I took a walk outside earlier.

It's the purrfect kind of day

for curling up with a good ball of yarn.

Or just curling up.

- Yeah, well, I'm a parrot.

We don't curl up, okay?

So I've been sitting here all
day watching you two yawn.

- You've been doing your
share of yawning too, Frank.

- That's because yawning is infectious.

- Huh?

- Infectious.

Catchy.

You watch someone yawn, it makes you yawn.

- Oh!

Right.

- Oh, quadrupeds.

- Huh?

- Never mind.

- Hey look!

They're even being lazy on Funny Pets!

- [Frank] Well would you look at that?

Lazy dogs.

(soft acoustic guitar music)

I don't think all dogs
are as lazy as those dogs.

- Have you looked in the
mirror lately, Jerry?

- (laughing) Seriously?

- Well, I'm usually way more active

than either of you guys.

I play with my toys.

I play with the neighbor dogs.

I play with the humans.

I play with the garden hose.

I chase the squirrels.

Heck, I even run in my sleep.

- Well I don't recall
seeing any of that lately.

- That's because you usually
sleep through all of it.

- (laughs) That's right.

You sleep right through the day.

Every day.

- (huffs) I do not!

- No, he's pretty right
on with that, Mandy.

I mean, everyone knows cats
are even lazier than dogs.

- They sure are.

(laughs)

Look at that!

Speaking of lazy cats.

(playful classical music)

- You guys look like
you're enjoying yourselves.

- Yep.

Funny Pets gets me every time.

- Me too.

What a great show!

- You guys really have no problem

doing nothing all day long?

- Nope.

- Not a problem.

- Oh, joy.

I've got nothing to do but
watch a lazy cat and dog

have fun watching other
lazy cats and dogs.

(groans)

I ought to call the guys
back at the pet store

and let them know they're
not missing a thing.

("Fur Elise" by Beethoven plays)

- I feel great now.

We should go outside and play.

- Ssssh.

Don't wake Frank up.

He'll only complain.

- You know, the power
of laughter's amazing.

I've been lethargic all day.

But now I feel like a kitten!

- You feel annoying with sharp claws?

- I was thinking more like cute, cuddly,

and full of boundless energy.

- [Jerry] Oh.

- Doesn't it seem like it takes them

longer to clean the house lately?

- Tell me about it.

Feels like all day.

- That's not the problem.

If they didn't vacuum
and dust and whatnot,

this place would be covered
in all that icky fur

that you two shed.

The problem is technology.

- Uh, what's that?

- Technology is machinery
or equipment developed

through the use of scientific knowledge.

Like that vacuum there.

- Oh.

Technology.

What is it good for?

- Nothing, huh!

- Say it again.

- What is it good for?

- It's funny how they designed something

to make life easier and more convenient,

but sometimes it just ends
up being a big nuisance.

I was sound asleep when she
started running that vacuum.

- And I love chasing the vacuum.

But then whenever I do, I get scolded.

I just don't get it.

- Well, you wouldn't.

- Hey, at least the
vacuum's not running now.

You know what time it is?

It's time for Funny Pets!

(upbeat music)

- Hey, we're not the only ones
who go crazy over that stuff.

Did you see that one dog?

He was out of control!

- You dogs usually are.

- True that.

I agree.

Vacuums are annoying.

But you know what really
drives me up the curtains?

Cell phones.

- Ugh.

You and me both.

- They have like, a hundred
different ring tones.

- A thousand!

And some of them are scary.

One time I heard a screeching hawk.

- And they're loud.

- Oh, I'd rather they
be loud that on vibrate.

The worst is when I find
a comfy spot on the couch

and somebody's phone starts
vibrating under the cushion.

- (shudders) Even the
thought of it makes me itchy.

- It's the same thing every time.

The phone vibrates, I think
there's a mouse in the couch,

I claw at the upholstery,
I get in trouble!

- You know, the definition of insanity

is doing the same action over and over

and expecting a different result.

- Zip it, Frank.

(Frank squawks)

- Guys, look!

He's messing with his owner's phone.

(playful music)

- I just don't get those iPads.

They're like phones, but not.

- They're like computers, but phones too.

- Right.

- Oh, boy.

What did I ever do to deserve this?

- And they're like little TVs.

I saw one propped up, playing a movie.

- That's it.

Hey, do either of you see a
phone lying around anywhere?

- No, why?

- I want to call the pet store
and see if they take returns.

- What are you returning, Frank?

- Myself!

It might be the only way
to get away from you two.

- Very funny.

- I'm not kidding.

- Don't leave, Frank.

We might see some things different,

but we're buddies.

And part of friendship is appreciating

the differences with each other.

- You know the weirdest thing of all?

Sometimes you make perfect sense.

- (gasps) Guys, look!

- [Jerry] What is that?

- [Mandy] It's one of those things!

- It's not rocket science, Mandy.

It's just a laser light pen.

- A what?

- [Mandy] Never mind.

Just know it's my enemy.

(dramatic music)

(playful music)

(lasers shooting)

- Wow.

You gonna be okay, Mandy?

- I'll be fine.

I just need a minute.

- Well if you need anything, just ask.

I'm here for you.

- That's awfully nice of you, Jerry.

Why are you being so sweet?

- I'm always this sweet, Frank.

I'm a dog.

And a dog's the natural companion animal.

We're the best friends anyone could have.

We love unconditionally forever and ever.

I love you too, buddy.

(Frank stammers)

It's okay.

You don't have to say it back.

I know you feel the same way about us.

- [Frank] It's okay, Mandy.

I know about those laser lights.

I'll tell you all about them sometime.

- [Jerry] This is a
great episode, you guys.

Sometimes it's just nice
to see dogs and cats

loving on each other and their humans.

- Yeah, it sure makes me feel
all warm and fuzzy inside.

- Oh, you're not fooling anyone, Frank.

We know there's a nice parrot

under all those ruffled feathers.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You know what?

I love you guys

and I love our humans too!

They're the best.

- Thanks, Jerry.

- Don't mention it.

I know we're a different species and all,

but I look at you as a sister.

- Awww.

Isn't that sweet, Frank?

- Mm-hmm.

Sickly sweet.

Does anyone have a Wet-Nap?

(gentle acoustic guitar)

- That was so sweet!

Jerry, I just wanna say,

you're the best dog in
the whole wide world.

- Oh, for the love of high tree branches.

- Right back at ya, Mandy.

Except you'd be the best cat.

'Cause you're not a dog.

But I think of you as one.

- (laughs) Thanks.

I think.

- What I mean to say is,

I care about you like I
care for one of my own.

- You mean I'm an honorary dog?

- Um, yeah.

Whatever that means.

- (laughs) It's good.

Don't worry.

And so are you, Jerry.

You're a good boy.

- Blegh!

I'm definitely gonna need a barf bag.

- And to think, they say dogs
and cats don't get along.

- Yet here we are.

Dogs and cats, living together.

Just like family.

- You're awesome, Mandy.

- So are you, Jerry.

- [Frank] Oh no.

No, you two just talk amongst yourselves.

I'm good, really.

(pleasant music)

- Makes you wonder how that
rumor about dogs and cats

not getting along ever got started anyway.

- It sure does.

We're proof positive they can and do!

- We both love to eat.

- And we both love to sleep.

- And we both love to play.

- Well, I mean, sometimes.

If there's catnip.

Otherwise, sleeping's wonderful.

- Oh yeah.

Definitely.

There's nothing like a nice, long nap.

- Mmmm, a 12-hour nap.

- (sighs) Yeah.

- (clears throat)
Speaking of getting along,

while you two were all
lovey dovey over there,

I decided to put together a little video

to show you how much I care.

- Really?

Hey, no kidding, Frank?

- Oh. Okay.

How nice of you, Frank.

- (chuckles) Don't mention it.

I already uploaded it.

You guys want to watch?

- (excitedly) Yeah, let's watch!

- [Frank] I was hoping you'd say that.

(upbeat music)

(laughing) Wasn't that a riot?

(laughing)

Hilarious!

- I don't know that
hilarious is a word I'd use,

but I'm happy that you're happy, Frank.

- (laughs) That's why
we're such good friends.

- Yeah, sure is.

- I think my video's better
than the show itself today.

Maybe I should send
something in to Funny Pets

and see if they want to
hire me as a producer.

- Hey, yeah!

You're always talking about wanting

to get out of the house more often, Frank.

That'll sure do it.

- Oooh, that's right!

I think it sounds like a great idea.

Why don't I call and see about
scheduling you an interview?

- Want me to find us a phone?

- Now hold on there, guys.

You don't have to jump all over it.

It was (squawks) just an idea.

- But it's a fantastic idea!

We need to get you out of the house.

- Yeah!

There's no time like the present.

- You only live once!

Find a phone, Jerry.

- Wait, wait, wait!

Why don't I put together
a few more funny videos

and really hone my craft before

we see if they're interested?

Maybe something with cute
little kittens or puppies?

Yeah, everybody loves puppies.

(laughing nervously)

You guys know I love you, right?

(squawking)

Oh, my aching wings!

I remember when I was young
and I could fly circles

around my tree for hours.

- How old are you anyway, Frank?

- Too old for this, I'll tell you that.

- Too old to sit on the couch?

That's pretty old.

- Yeah?

Just you wait, Jerry.

You're not far behind.

You're no spring puppy.

- I have a little while.

My snout's not white yet.

- Hey!

You guys want to watch Funny Pets?

- Seniors first.

Frank?

- If it'll muzzle you,
I'll watch anything.

Turn it up!

- You sure you don't want me to turn it up

because you're hard of hearing, old man?

- [Frank] Why I ought to.

(gentle music)

- I used to love slippers
when I was a puppy.

Just the smell of a pair of new slippers

would drive me wild, and the taste!

I'll tell ya, I could chew on those

soft, rubber soles all day long.

- Oh yeah.

(squawks) Sounds delicious.

- Oh you have no idea.

- You're right.

I don't.

- Now, Frank, there are plenty of things

you used to chew on when
you were a young parrot

if I remember correctly.

- Well I've never gnawed
on a human's slippers

in all my life.

- No, but I do recall you
chewing up the door jams

not long after they brought you home.

- I was little.

I didn't know no better.

- That's my point!

In fact, you chewed up
every door jam in the house.

I didn't mean you were any
less a member of our household.

- Hey!

Those door jams were made out of cedar.

The smell was irresistible.

And the taste reminded me of the forest.

- I guess the base boards reminded you

of the forest then too, huh?

- And the window sills.

- And the table edges.

- And the chair legs.

- You chewed up a lot of things, Frank.

- Okay, you know what?

Young pets chew stuff up.

It happens!

The difference is I no
longer chew on wood.

Whereas, if the humans leave
their slippers lying around,

you'll still eat them!

- What's your point?

- My point is, Jerry,

you were an idiot back then

and you're an idiot now!

Now if you'll both excuse
me, Funny Pets is on!

(upbeat music)

- Good call on Funny Pets, Frank.

This show just gets better and better!

Aren't puppies just the
cutest things on Earth?

- Eh, they're not kittens,

but they are cute.

I'll give you that.

- Eh, they're cute in
an annoying kind of way.

- That's okay, guys.

You don't have to admit it.

I know you know the truth.

The whole world loves a puppy.

Even humans will tell you,

puppies are the cutest.

- (squawks) And that highlights
another truth, Jerry.

Humans can't be trusted.

- Ugh, you are unbelievable.

- Oh, look at that one!

Look how cute.

Oh, (laughing) I can't take it.

I just can't.

(gentle music)

Awww, this show really takes
me back to my youth, I tell ya.

- Uh oh.

I'll hide the footwear.

- Back when life was carefree

and the possibilities were limitless.

- As opposed to now where
you work tooth and nail

just to make ends meet?

- You are so wrong sometimes.

- Hey, life's all about perspective.

- It was all about having fun.

Playing all day and playing all night.

(sighs)

(playful music)

- Ooh, how you doing over there, Frank?

You don't look so good.

(Frank groaning)

- I think I'm gonna be sick

from all those shameless displays of cute.

Can someone please open a window?

(Mandy laughing)

- Another episode of Lucky
Pets is coming up next!

- Oh, awesome!

It's pets around the world!

I bet there are some pets
we don't even know about.

- I wonder what they look like!

- Oh, guys.

I really need to go outside.

- But I don't have opposable thumbs.

I can't use the doorknob.

- And I'm too short to reach the window!

- Somebody call the pet store.

Ask about sick bird remedies.

- We don't have a phone!

- [Frank] What did I do to deserve this?

(birds chirping)

(playful music)