Funky Hat no kaidanji: Nisenman-en no ude (1961) - full transcript

TOEI COMPANY, LTD

National Championship High
School Baseball Tournament

Pitcher Kawahara has
scored 11 strike-outs so far.

Thanks to his fine pitching...

Wakaba High School of Tokai is steadily
moving toward the championship.

Scouting agents are now
showing up at the game...

with the hopes of signing
Kawahara for their teams.

Agent Yamada of the Nantetsu Kinki Socks...

Agent Noguchi of the
West Nippon Suspense...

Agent Sasaki of the Great Tokyo Towers...

Mr. Kurotani.



Huh?

It's good business for you, isn't it?

Yeah.

HEPCAT IN THE FUNKY HAT:
THE 20,000,000-YEN ARM

Shin'ichi Chiba
Hitomi Nakahara

Mamoru Ogawa Shiro Okamoto
Susumu Hajima

Directed by:
Kinji Fukasaku

Kawahara, go right on!

I'm on your side.

Please, that's enough. We're working here.

Don't lie. I heard dad complaining this
morning about how slow business is.

Chief is coming back soon. You'll be scolded.

Worrying too much gives you wrinkles.

I'll call him.



The sixth pitch is thrown.

Strike.

Alright!

Kawahara goes to my old high school.

He used to look up to me like a big brother.

He lives two houses down
from my parents' house.

And there was an empty lot nearby.

That's where I used to
train him how to pitch.

And you showed him how to throw
a fork ball that he's famous for.

How did you know?

How can't I, after hearing
the story five times?

Am I repeating myself?

Sorry. You position your fingers like
this, and rotate the ball like this...

A dead ball.

What?

Sorry. I'm letting you walk.

You fools.

It's stupid.

What's so entertaining about throwing
tiny balls and hitting them with sticks?

Even worse, you're just watching
somebody else play it and getting excited.

Turn off the TV.

But you see, dad...

This pitcher is the talk of the town.

I hear that every strike-out he scores
raises his commission by a million.

That's ridiculous.

That made it 16 million now.

What, 16 million?

4 more and it'll be 20 million.

20 million...

By the way, dad...

I'm asking only 2 thousand for my allowance.

That much?

Thanks.

Kawahara's Fine Pitching Gets
Wakaba High's First Championship

Teams Hope to Sign Kawahara

20-Million-Yen Contract?

Kawahara-kun...

You're the center of
society's attention right now.

Don't do anything rash
until a contract is signed.

Mr. Kurotani and I have been
entrusted to look after you with care.

Kawahara Arrived in Tokyo Yesterday

Kawahara called me on the phone yesterday.

He wants my advice in
making his career decisions.

Really? Hasn't he got a big trust in you?

Of course, he does.

I virtually made him what he is today.

I'm supposed to meet him here.

He should be here any minute.

Really?

Introduce him to me, will you?

Sure. You all wanna go for a
ride after we finish our talk?

Yeah!

Daddy, have you been waiting long?

Well, it's quite a noisy house.

Do you hang out in such a place a lot?

Did you want to see me to give me a lecture?

To begin with, look at what
you're wearing, that head cover.

I told you repeatedly to
wear a traditional kimono.

What does it matter? I look my best in this.

Listen, it's not a matter of
whether you look good or not.

What will they think if you wear such a...

What, are you trying to match
make me for marriage again?

I don't wanna.

What do you mean you don't wanna.

The problem is, being a sports reporter
makes a woman talk sloppy like that.

That's why I want you to quit the rough
business and become a good housewife.

Alright, alright. So, what
kind of man is he this time?

Well, he's an aspiring doctor, an in-stern.

You mean an intern.

Well, that's another way of calling it.

Anyway, I understand he has a bright future.

Tenka Private Investigation Office

Hey, who are you checking out?

At my bright future.

You're at it again.

She seems a bit too strong
a character for my taste.

She needs to have her nose and cheeks fixed.

What is the doctor's special field?

Well...

He's a cosmetic surgeon.

A cosmetic surgeon?

Daddy, do you as a parent think
I need to have cosmetic surgery?

That has nothing to do with it.

Just go and meet him.

If you don't like him, you can
always withdraw. Come on.

Hey, I'm gonna go out for a bit.

Hey, what about Kawahara?

I can catch him on TV.

Hey, wait a minute. Hey!

Hey...

What happened to Kawahara?

He is late, isn't he?

He might've stood you up.

He's staying at the Imperial
Capitol Hotel. I'm gonna call him.

Hello, this is Imperial Capitol Hotel.

What?

Mr. Kawahara?

He departed with his
entourage late last night.

He arrived yesterday and already
left by the evening? Hello?

World Folk Songs for a Million

What about you, daddy?

I'm not coming. Enjoy
it, just you young folks.

But...

Your date is sitting to your
right, in Seat H13, OK?

Excuse me, where's your seat?

You see the pretty lady there?

Oh, H13, I see.

H?

H, yes.

Then...

You don't have to show me.

I just want you to make dinner
reservations for two, me and that lady.

There's no external injury.

The cause of death is under
water suffocation, or drowning.

The estimated time of death is
between midnight to 1 am last night.

Anything else you noticed?

Not until after autopsy, but it seems
the victim was extremely drunk.

Drunk?

Yes. Even the shirt reeks of whisky.

Have you identified the victim?

No.

There's about 6000 yen in his wallet,
but no ID or document of any kind.

Chief, I found this in his shirt pocket.

Hm, this is an advance ticket for
a concert at Golden Hall today.

Special Reserved Seat, number H13.

Will you track down the
victim's identity with this?

H13

Excuse me, are you by yourself?

Yes, but I almost didn't want to come.

But you're glad you came, aren't you?

More intelligent than you
expected, don't you think?

Dear Lord. I think I'm going to leave now.

Leave?

Why don't you stay a bit longer?

I've made a dinner reservation for us.

I didn't know cosmetic surgeons
have such rough eating habits.

Cosmetic surgeons?

I guess they are.

Your knife is beginning to
look like a surgical tool.

A surgical tool?

Just to think your hands have tampered...

with the bodies of many poor
women... makes me shiver.

My hands with the bodies of poor women?

Do I look like that kind of a man?

One can't judge a book by its cover.

Excuse me.

We're from the Metropolitan PD.

You're Miss Miyako Takechi
in seat number H12, right?

Yes, I am.

And you...

I heard, were in seat number H13.

Well, yes. That's how we met.

Guess I'm found out.

What?

I see.

Ken'ichi Nishizawa, age
25, a residency intern...

at Tamakoshi Clinic of Cosmetic
Surgery in East Ginza.

So, your date to be had been dead.

You're quite unbelievable.

You have poor sensibility as a student.

Sorry. The seat was empty.

But I was going to give it up
when the ticket holder arrived.

That's common sense.

With his seat stolen, I'm sure the
victim's spirit isn't happy about it.

His ghost might come visit you tonight.

Please don't scare me.

Miyako.

Daddy.

I'm so sorry.

I'd made a wrong judgment and as a
result put you through such a hardship.

That's no problem at all.

All in all, this investigator Tenka is to blame.

Look at his report here.

It reads he excels in academy, and is
well mannered, ethical and upright.

How can a man who gets drunk
and drowns himself be upright?

I'm going to protest.

Excuse me, may I use the phone please.

Hello, Tenka Private Investigation.

Oh, Mr. Takechi, good to hear from you.

What did your daughter think about him?

He seems like quite a good catch.

What?

A con man?

A swindler?

Yes, you're a con man, a
swindler, a scam artist.

You made up a fake report
and took my money.

And you hurt my daughter.

I'm the one being hurt here.

Alright...

I'll prove to you that the report was correct.

All of you stand by.

What you ran someone over?

Yes. You said it was around
11 pm last night, right?

Yes, around that time.

And?

Well, I panicked and ran away then...

but I kept feeling guilty, so today...

But there's no report to match a victim.

What, it can't be.

I see...

It was either that you saw something there
wasn't or his injury was next to nothing.

Just be careful next time.

Hey, hey, hey. You can't fool me if you try.

I've been driving for the past 15 years.

I even got a nickname
Yosaburo the Kamikaze.

I should know when I run over somebody.

Alright, let's bring it to the legal
place and settle the dispute.

Shut up!

Let me go. Let me go, damn it!

Damn it, watch it! Idiot.

It's unbelievable.

Judging from how it felt, I doubt if he died.

But I'm sure he's pretty
seriously injured, yes.

And those traffic cops,
how can they be so dumb?

So, who was the person you ran over?

Well, he was quite a young man.

Drunk. He staggered in front
of my car out of nowhere.

He was accompanied by a few other men.

Are you sure about that?

Well, young man, you see...

I'm Yosaburo the Kamikaze, and I
have 15 years of driving experience.

I know I ran him over and for sure.

Watch out. Mr. Yosaburo,
please look straight forward.

Wow!

Looking back at the beginning of this year...

I told you all what the
goal of the year would be.

Recite it if you remember.

We shall not tell a lie.

Yes, that's it. Our reports never tell a lie.

Yet now we are being laughed at...

...scorned at and called names like
con men, swindlers, scam artists.

What are we going to do about the shame?

We must unite and rise together to prove
to him that our report was correct.

Everyone now, let's have a strategy meeting.

Hello, Tenka Private Investigation?

My name is Yamada. I'm with
the Nantetsu Kinki Socks.

I'd like to hire you for investigation.

Pops, someone wants to hire you.

What? We're too busy. Decline it.

We decline it.

Oh no, please don't. Please
put the Chief on the phone.

Chief?

Speaking.

Oh, Chief. Please take it on.

Well, money's not a problem.

I see...

Money's not a problem.

What's this job about?

We're gonna look for an arm.

What?

Yeah, the arm that you
made, the 20-million-yen arm.

What, Kawahara?

Yeah. The Nantetsu Kinki Socks is our client.

They'll give us 50 thousand
just for locating him.

50 thousand!

You said he stood you up
and disappeared, right?

Yeah, I don't get it at all.

You soon will.
Oops, make a turn here.

Hey, where are we going?

Kawahara's father is staying
at Imperial Capitol Hotel.

I'm Iwasaki, Secretary of the
benefactors' organization for Kawahara.

President Kurotani had to leave on
urgent business to take care of,

so, allow me to represent him as
the spokesperson for Kawahara-kun.

First, let me introduce to you...

...the father of Pitcher Kawahara,
Mr. Motokichi Kawahara.

Now, please all have a seat.

As a father, do you have any opinion about
which team your son should go with?

I don't know.

He hasn't yet been informed
of all possible offers.

You mean to say nothing
has been decided at all yet.

Huh?

That's why we asked him to come to Tokyo...

...so that he can negotiate
directly with each team.

Then, what about the intentions
of Pitcher Kawahara himself?

He's only a high school student.

So, he says he wants to listen
to what his father and...

...the benefactors'
organization have to say first.

Which teams are you negotiating with first?

Well, today we're meeting first with...

...Agent Sasaki of the Great Tokyo
Towers at Tokyo Restaurant.

Then, we'll meet with the president
of the Nantetsu Kinki Socks...

...at a coffee shop in Kyobashi at 4.

After that we'll meet with Agent
Noguchi of the West Nippon Suspense...

at a bistro in Akasaka at 7.

That'll be the end of our
meetings for the day.

We plan to finish our initial
meetings with the rest of...

the interested teams
within the next two days.

Any other questions?

If you didn't have any
questions, this is for today.

Uncle!

How are you?

Oh!

Kondo!

Kawahara-kun was excellent.

Where is he now?

Well, you see...

Kawahara-kun is still a high school student.

So, he's resting somewhere until
the scouting war calms down.

But he said to me something
about going to college.

Excuse me.

We're in the middle of a press conference.

Would you like to go over there to continue?

But I don't... Ouch!

Let's go.

Ouch!

Come on.

Ouch!

Now.

Ouch!

Well, nowadays...

so many people show up claiming...

they're his school friends and so on.

Both Kawahara-kun and the benefactors
are quite tired of these phonies.

Liar!

What the hell are you doing?

You're the ones ganging up on him.

You're the cowards bullying the helpless.

What?

Sorry.

Get them!

Run!

Mr. Tenka!

Hi!

Hey!

Don't distract him!

Oh...

I'm sorry.

Damn you!

Sorry about the other day.

Me too.

About what?

That I mistook you for an
aspiring cosmetic surgeon.

Damn you.

What do I look like today?

A gangster.

I'm honored.

And you yourself are an able
sports reporter, aren't you?

That's correct.

Out of a professional interest,
may I ask what you're doing here?

What you witnessed is what.

Hey...

It's the police.

Let's not get things
complicated and let's run.

May I ask you out next time?

Sure, in my professional capacity.

Fine with me.

Everyone...

The intern didn't drown
himself, he was murdered.

What?

He was forced to drink and was caged up.

How did you find out?

I found out President Tamakoshi of the clinic
disappeared right after the intern's death.

So...

This is President Tamakoshi.

That's right.

Then, it could be the president killed
his intern assistant and ran away.

Or it could be the president's already
dead by the third party killer.

Yeah, well...

What happened is not yet clear.

In any case...

The only way to prove our reports are correct
is to inform the public of this incident.

Well, well, they're looking
for the clinic president...

We're looking for Kawahara.

How come all these people are
disappearing all the sudden?

Disappearing?

There was someone else who disappeared.

Who's that?

Who is it?

I know there was someone...

That's right!

It's the one that Yosaburo
the Kamikaze ran over.

It wasn't easy finding you.

Yeah?

You're a funny man.

To seek me out when everyone
else is too afraid to ride in my car.

I want you to go to East Ginza...

where you said you ran over the man.

What did you say?

Watch out!

I think it was around here somewhere.

A few drunk men came out
from some bar over there.

Is the Tamakoshi Clinic around here?

Oh, of that incident.

It's right there, right in front of you.

What a surprise.

Excuse me.

May I go now?

Oh...

Thanks much.

Hey...

The pieces are falling into place.

Is that right?

The president's disappearance has something
to do with Yosaburo running over that man.

One more thing...

It'll be great if this is somehow
connected to Kawahara.

Kawahara?

Yeah.

Then I can connect to her.

The team that's winning now is our team.

I see.

I suggest that

your son too should join a strong
team, a champion team, yes.

Kawahara's father knows
nothing about baseball.

He's meeting with agent after agent
from all these teams every day,

but he doesn't understand anything.

So, why did he bother to come to Tokyo?

Why did Iwasaki bring him out here?

I got it,

perhaps they want to keep
the public attention on Tokyo.

I came out 'cause you said
we were going on a ride.

How far are we gonna go?

I had a change of mind and
decided to go to your hometown.

What?

My town?

Yeah, Hamano Beach,

where Kawahara's family house is.

You mean to say he's back in his hometown?

No.

I just have a hunch she'll be mine.

Hello.

Hi lady, fill it up please.

Yes.

Look.

My hunch seems to be right.

Hi.

Hi, fancy meeting you here.

Where to?

I felt like getting some fresh air,

so I'm going to Hamano just like you are.

What?

Bull's eye, right?

How do you know where I'm going?

Well,

it's called the sixth sense.

The sixth sense?

It's possible he's lying that he's a student.

He could be a newspaper reporter.

He's going there to get a scoop on Kawahara.

If so, I can't trust him.

If you're thinking of
investigating about Kawahara,

I suggest that you don't.

There could be danger.

I'm right.

Hm?

What is?

You can't scare me to back off.

Let's play it fair as
competitors in the same field.

Competitors?

For what?

Don't pretend.

I know what the scoop is.

Miss Miyako,

you're taking me for something else again.

See you and good luck.

There,

that cigarette shop is
Kawahara's family house.

I see.

Look,

someone got here first.

It's no use visiting Kawahara's house.

His sister's there but she's of no help.

Well, excuse me.

So, you don't even know where he is.

No.

Doesn't he want to go to college?

He was all enthusiastic saying he'd
go if he had to work part time.

But it became impossible.

What do you mean?

When we started this shop last year we
borrowed money from Mr. Kurotani.

Then,

suddenly, since about a month ago,

he started to pressure us
to pay it back right away.

There's no way we can make
that much money so quickly.

Seeing that we were distressed,

my brother offered to become
a pro and make money for us.

Who's Kurotani?

He's the big shot of this town and
controls the finances of Wakaba High.

Hey, what's Naval Ship Island?

It's the remains of a fortress.

You can walk to it at ebb tides.

It's popular among tourists to
ride on horsebacks in the sands.

Hm.

Kurotani has many businesses
going on, doesn't he?

Yeah.

Hey, you go around the back.

OK.

So, you won't let me see
Kawahara no matter what.

He isn't here, so what can I do?

I can't help you, can I?

Sir,

a reporter from the Baseball Times is here.

Show him in.

Yes.

Well then. I see.

So you're with the Baseball Times.

You're my worthy opponent.

How do you do?

I'm Tenka from the Baseball Times.

I'm Kurotani.

I have some place to go,

but I can spare about five minutes.

Straight to the point,
where is Kawahara now?

I leave all business about Kawahara
in the hands of Secretary Iwasaki.

You all know that.

You put Kawahara's father in
Mr. Iwasaki's hands, didn't you?

What did you say?

No sooner than you went
to Tokyo with Kawahara,

you returned here.

I suspect Kawahara traveled with you.

How did I end up having
hardheaded visitors today?

The lady you saw said
something similar to me.

Mr. Kurotani,

isn't Kawahara somewhere in this house?

Locked up.

Did you come here to
make false accusations?

Alright,

go and search every corner of the house.

But if you can't find him,
you're going to have to pay.

Let me ask you again.

What the hell were you doing here?

You'd better talk before it's too late.

Humph!

What a sissy.

Pour water on him.

Alright.

Hey!

That's enough, let him go, will ya?

You'd better do it before it's too late.

Put your hands up and turn around.

Damn it.

Hey.

Aaaghh!

What a groovy gun!

Use it well.

I can't hide Kawahara
away for too much longer.

Newspaper reporters are beginning
to turn their eyes toward me.

But...

If we leave Kawahara in
his current condition,

he won't ever be able to fully recover.

I don't care.

As long as he keeps his clothes on,

no one can tell whether or
not he can use his right arm.

They won't make him throw
a ball at the contract signing.

All we need is that he looks
like Kawahara on the outside.

You're a cosmetic surgeon.

Don't tell me you can't pull it off.

Alright?

I'm coming back to pick him
up in the next couple of days.

Strange.

What is?

They left in a car, so why did they walk back?

The car broke down.

Then, I'd think they'd hire a cab.

Wait a minute.

Hey.

One of his men was carrying a lantern, right?

Yeah.

They came back in a boat.

A boat?

If they went in a car but returned in a boat,

it means they went to an island where
you can drive to at ebb tides only.

So Kawahara must be in Naval Ship Island.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

Hey, let's go there now.

Well, there's no need to hurry now.

We can watch Kurotani's moves for a while.

Alright.

Hey...

The car returned now, it's the ebb tide.

More proof they went to Naval Ship Island.

I wonder if that lady knows this.

Don't know.

I bet she doesn't.

I'm counting on you.

OK.

Your guest has arrived.

Please.

Hello.

Sorry I'm late.

Hello. Thank you for coming.

I was waiting for you.

Where's Kurotani?

Just arrived.

Hey...

Get a bell boy.

OK.

Get one who looks the most greedy.

All ready.

Did you want me?

I've got something to ask of you.

Here are fresh flowers.

Thank you.

Here's your tip.

Thank you.

Just wait for the fruit to ripen and fall.

Fresh flowers for your room.

Thank you.

Here's your tip.

Thank you.

Just wait for the fruit to ripen and fall.

Hey...

Looks like they left.

Hm?

OK.

Go get the vase.

Damn it!

Hey it's a different vase.

This is what was there.

So...

We'll have the contract signed here
at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.

In return you'll bring 10
million for Kawahara,

and another 10 million for me.

Is it agreed upon?

It's certainly agreed.

But I wonder,

where on earth is Kawahara?

I keep telling you that I
have him hidden away...

in a secure place under my supervision.

Not that I don't trust you.

Then...

Let me tell you this much.

He's right here in this town.

I promise I'll bring him with me
at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning.

Hello?

This is Room 26.

I was forcefully taken here and
the men are about to rape me.

What?

Yes, my virginity is at stake.

Call the police.

Good afternoon.

How are you?

Oh...

It's you.

That's a welcome.

Oh, how pretty.

Did you arrange them?

Quite a unique artistic sensibility I must say.

That's enough.

You scare me.

I warned you out of my
sincere concern for you.

I commend your professional spirit,

but you'd better stay away from

the scoop on Kawahara for your own safely.

Hey, it's the police.

I wonder what happened.

I'll return your warning right back at you.

What?

I'm the winner of our
competition for the scoop.

What?

These men.

There.

What are you doing to us?

Hello?

Is this the Tokyo Headquarters?

It's Takechi.

I'm sending you an article.

Ready?

Pitcher Hiroshi Kawahara of the Wakaba
High School who had disappeared...

and kept us wondering
about his career move,

has agreed to sign a contract
with the West Nippon Suspense.

Yes, West Nippon.

The signing will take
place at 10 AM tomorrow.

What do you think?

A big scoop, isn't it?

No other paper knows anything about this.

Don't you get it?

We didn't do anything to her.

She mistook us for reporters and
called you on us for false reasons.

And I'm telling you...

We are looking for that woman.

We'll find her eventually.

Just stay still until then.

Say...

How about a game of chess to kill time?

Nothing I can do.

Send a telegraph to my pops first, will ya?

Ichiro Tenka...

was arrested in charge of attempted rape.

Please come at once.

That idiot!

I'm severing my ties with him!

We're no longer father and son.

But Chief...

There's no but's or if's.

What an outrageously lazy son.

What did you say?

There.

Send an able detective to watch you.

What time would the last
train from Tokyo arrive here?

Let's see...

about 9 tomorrow morning, I guess.

That's no good.

You see, a doctor might get killed.

It's not time for you to be so laid back.

Check mate.

Check.

What shall we do?

Don't let Kawahara see it.

I see...

You are quite skilled.

I want you to take off the
cast on the right arm.

Please take it off.

I was lost as to what to do when
he got hit by a car in Tokyo,

and got his face and arm badly injured.

Sure.

Fortunately, there was a skilled surgeon
right nearby, and he was saved.

I'm going to take Kawahara
to sign the contract.

When Iwasaki returns,
clean up the mess.

Yes.

This way, please.

Yes, thanks.

Hello.

Hey, go now.

Ichiro!

Pops!

Thanks for coming.

Catching a thief only to
find it's your own child.

Pops!

We've got no time to start
a comedy skit now. Listen.

I see!

That's my boy.

I'm counting on you.

Sure thing.

Thanks for your patience, you both.

Our job is done here.

We aren't equipped for much
hospitality around here,

but let's drink to our farewell.

Don't worry.

There's nothing weird in it.

Except if you drink too much
you may fall in water and drown.

Just like your assistant.

Did you kill Nishizawa?

Well...

He threatened to tell the
police about Kawahara.

They say only the good die young.

Hey, let me borrow this for a sec!

Thieves!

You can take our car.

No need to hurry.

Your turn next.

Stop it!

Wait for me!

Ichiro!

Watch out!

Hey, let me do it.

What's this?

You can have it.

Hey, let's run.

Hurry.

Get them.

Let's split up.

Yes.

Damn it, where did they go?

Look over there.

Here, I'll go and get more.

Hey.

Hey.

Bastards!

Sorry I'm late.

Hello, glad you came.

Well, this is Coach Ishida.

This is Mr. Tsukuda.

Thank you for coming here.

Please have seats.

Please let me see the contract first.

"Warrant for Arrest for Shusuke Kurotani"...?

You're charged with murder,

disposing the victim's body,

confinement of a person against his will,

and attempted fraud.

Kawahara-kun...

I'm told your arm hasn't fully healed yet.

We have a car waiting outside.

Let's go to the city hospital
and have you checked in.

Then...

You can then choose by your own will...

whether to go to a college or
to join a pro baseball team.

Hey...

You might fall if you go so fast.

No problem.

Halt.

You better listen to others' advice.

It happened all because I didn't.

What?

You're slow, aren't you?

I said I found a cool boyfriend as a result.

Hey!

Wait for me!

Wait for me!

My hunch was right.