From the Hip (1987) Movie Script

Come on, Jo Ann. Let's get up.

Come on.

No.

Yes. Wake up.

You said to use guerrilla

tactics if necessary.

You said to use guerrilla

tactics if necessary.

Ok.

This is phase one,

escalating every 60 seconds.

Let's go.

Get up!

Ok, Jo Ann.

Here comes phase two.

You said you wouldn't marry me

if I let you oversleep.

Just remember,

this one's for love, babe.

Aah! Oh!

You said that the morning

was hypercritical.

Your words.

I was drunk.

You don't drink.

I must drink.

How else could I feel

this way in the morning?

Jo Ann.

Ok. Phase 3.

60 seconds to phase 3.

You won't like phase 3.

Come on, Jo Ann.

I've got something important

to talk to you about anyway.

Seriously. I'm about to

compromise my values...

Seriously. I'm about to

compromise my values...

I think.

I'm gonna do something that some

people might construe as unethical.

Well, sort of a little

bit unethical.

I mean, not unethical

really--just opportunistic.

Self-promoting

more than unethical.

I just can't stand this waiting.

I want to get at it.

I want to practice law.

It's what I've wanted

all my life.

When other kids were playing

cowboys and Indians,

I was playing plaintiff

and defendant.

I was playing plaintiff

and defendant.

I want to go to trial. I want

to object and be sustained.

I want to pace up and down

and wave my arms

and bang on tables and be overruled

and all that lawyer stuff.

Are you listening?

Hmm?

You know what we

always talked about--

You as earth mother between

your acting and modeling jobs,

looking after crippled

kids and the homeless

and abandoned old folks;

Me defending migrant farm workers--you

know, fruit pickers and stuff.

Are there any fruit

pickers in Massachusetts?

Are you listening? Jo Ann.

Mmm.

Jo Ann. Mmm.

You haven't heard

a word I've said, have you?

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm? Oh, well, uh,

are you listening now?

Hmm?

Oh. Oh, good,

because I got a phone

call this morning,

and, well, it seems that I've been awarded

the nobel prize for jurisprudence,

and, well, the Harvard law

school wants to have me bronzed

and hung out over

the law library.

Do you think I should do it?

Hmm.

Mm-hmm. And a big

dinosaur came down

mm-hmm. And a big

dinosaur came down

and jumped on my head,

and I caught on fire,

and I was running around naked

with feathers in my ears.

Should I do that?

Mmm.

Oh.

Hypercritical, you said.

Oh! Oh!

Robin! Oh, god!

Come back here, you coward!

Oh, god. Oh. 7 A.M. why

didn't you wake me?

Hi!

Oh, Jesus. Steve,

what are you doing?

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just seeing

if Duncan was in.

How come you're here so early?

Uh, catching up.

You know, filing,

proofreading, the usual.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Are we still on for lunch?

Yeah. We got to be back for

Roberta's birthday party

at 1:30.

Half an hour to eat. We better

order ahead for that pork tartare.

How many of those things

are you gonna eat?

What? They're good for you.

Staying power.

You mean oysters, Steve.

Those are clams.

Oh. Well, they're wet and slimy.

What's the difference?

You know, you should

really try some of these.

You know, you should

really try some of these.

What for? I can't get a date.

What, no.

Are you kidding?

I can't get near a girl.

I can't get near anyone.

If I were a tree, dogs

wouldn't piss on me.

I had an imaginary

playmate once.

Well, he liked you.

Nah. He used to beat

the shit out of me.

What's the matter with you?

I just can't take it anymore.

Every day it's the same--

Research, file,

proofread, research--

Robin, don't start again.

Nobody tries cases their first

year out of law school.

Look, Steve, we work harder

than anyone in that firm.

Nobody notices.

I got to do something

to get their attention.

I got to do something

to get their attention.

Hey, you guys, let's go. Roberta's

birthday party. Let's move.

No, I can't make it.

I got to work.

That's a great way

to get their attention.

Ignore a senior partner's

birthday party.

Yeah. We're going, babe.

You know, Roberta hates me.

Roberta hates everybody.

All women hate me.

Yeah. They're right.

♪ The old gray mare ♪

♪ She ain't what

she used to be ♪

♪ Ain't what she used to be,

ain't what she used to be ♪

♪ The old gray mare, she ain't

what she used to be ♪

♪ Many long years ago ♪

Speech! Speech!

God, it looks like

the Chicago fire.

I know meticulousness

is a virtue for lawyers,

but do we have to be quite so

unerring in the candle count?

Make a wish.

It's never too late.

No!

Now, you listen to me,

you roach!

You tell that client of yours

that if he's not off the

premises by noon tomorrow,

that if he's not off the

premises by noon tomorrow,

I will not only sue him,

but I will send a 300-pound

thumb-breaker down there

to buff-dry the vaseline plastered

to the little greaseball's head.

Baloney! The guy is greasier

than Zorro's hatband.

So you tell that little hangnail

to scribble out a check,

and it better be good,

because the only thing

that I want to see bounce

because the only thing

that I want to see bounce

is that little weasel's butt

right out of the building!

Bye!

Cindy, would you get me a--

Oh, I'm sorry.

Could you hear that?

Hear it? You blew

the candles out.

What was that?

That was a tenant.

He won't vacate.

My god. You haven't had

him guillotined yet?

My god. You haven't had

him guillotined yet?

I'm really sorry. I guess I

was a little bit overzealous.

Happy birthday.

Not at all. We enjoyed it--

Particularly the part

about Zorro's hatband.

That's a very original

term in jurisprudence.

It's negotiation as art form.

I'm very sorry.

It was very industrious.

All right, cake for everyone,

and noses back in your briefs.

You'll forgive the expression.

And thank you all very much.

Sir.

All right, who's the

hungriest person here?

Cindy. She carried the cake.

You slick son of a bitch.

Zorro's hatband?

It just came to me.

Roberta's nostrils actually flared.

I swear to god.

Desperation is my middle name.

Weathers!

Come on.

Weathers, damn it!

You want me?

The torkenson trial

is on for tomorrow.

Why wasn't I notified?

I sent you a memo last week.

No, you didn't. I never got it.

Sir, did you check your box?

Of course I checked my box.

You didn't send it

to me, that's what.

Sir, I did.

No, you didn't.

All right, find it.

I know I sent it.

It has to be here.

I know I sent it.

It has to be here.

You never sent it.

What about these files

over here?

Keep your nose out of that.

That's another case.

I've been through that 50 times.

Maybe it's all mixed up on

that stuff on your desk.

You're the one that's mixed up.

Why don't you just

admit you never sent it?

What's this?

Here it is. See?

Dated June 12--last week.

How did that get down there?

Trial June 19.

No continuance. We're

screwed, totally screwed.

What's the matter?

The torkenson trial

is on for tomorrow.

The torkenson trial

is on for tomorrow.

There's no continuance, and

I've never seen the files.

I can try it. What's it about?

You can try it?

What's it about?

Our client punched someone,

and he's being sued

for $50,000.

I know the case. I can try it.

It's a pimple. Let him try it.

What choice do we have?

Our client is

the president of a bank.

I can do it.

He can do it.

Phil, be serious. He's a kid.

Go with him and hold his hand.

You can do it.

Yes, sir.

Good boy.

Good god.

Thank you, sir.

Good luck.

Ha ha hah!

You didn't. Tell me you didn't.

Ok, I didn't.

You did.

You stonewalled Duncan

on his own court date.

Robin, you're either gonna

wind up on the supreme court

or in San Quentin.

Maybe I shouldn't have done it.

Maybe I shouldn't have.

It was unethical, wasn't it?

Are you serious?

Robin, you're kidding, right?

You heard ames. It's a pimple.

I'm sorry I didn't

think of it myself.

You're right. It's a great case.

I got a great game plan,

and I can't lose.

I'm gonna call Jo Ann.

Are you guys jumping again?

Are you?

Hi, sweetheart.

Mrs. jamison, would you take

the kids for a few minutes?

The kids for a few minutes?

I'd appreciate it. Silly, isn't he?

Silly.

Would you believe

some of these kids

couldn't talk when we got them.

And they're closing

this program down.

More of the right wing's war against

wasteful social programming.

Sometimes I think you'd

like to give up the acting

and do this stuff full time.

No. I can only have

my heart broken

a few hours a day.

I got something for you.

What?

It's for your collection.

It's a new don Wright.

Mm-hmm.

Ha ha ha!

You like it?

Oh, yeah. This is an original.

Oh, man.

Duncan. Yup.

You happy?

Oh, yeah.

I'm gonna get it framed.

So tell me all about the case.

Can't. I don't want to be late

for my first meeting

with my first client.

Ok.

Your place or mine?

Mine. There's a slight

problem with your bed.

Well, your side of the bed.

What did you do to my bed?

You didn't think I was

gonna let you get away

with this morning, did you?

I was just following orders.

Yeah, that's what

Hitler's boys said.

What did you do

to my side of the bed?

What did you do

to my side of the bed?

I, uh, kind of tarred

and feathered it.

You tarred and feathered my bed?

With honey and saltines.

You're sick. You're sick.

I'll undo it. I promise.

Now that you're a

litigator, you get a break.

I love you.

I'll see you.

I get to pace up and down

and wave my arms

and pound on tables.

Robin?

Ok, we don't

have very much time,

Ok, we don't

have very much time,

so let's go over your testimony

and discuss your defense.

There's no defense,

and I struck the man.

Excuse me?

It's a loser. Just drag it out.

Uh, I'm not sure that I follow.

Well, I want at least a 3-day

trial, run up his fees.

He may get 50, but I

want it to cost him 20.

3 days? It's a one-day case.

Just stretch it out.

That's all I ask.

Sir, shouldn't we try to win?

I like your spirit, kid.

God knows I love a fight.

But, sir, I can win it.

You can't win it, son. Trust me.

I hit people

all the time. I know.

I hit people

all the time. I know.

See you in court.

Great.

It's just because of tomorrow.

Probably. Will you

still marry me?

What?

This could be serious.

Robin, you're just preoccupied.

I'm a lawyer. What kind of

marriage are we going to have

I'm a lawyer. What kind of

marriage are we going to have

if trials make me impotent?

I think you'll recover.

Do you think I was wrong,

how I got the case?

Uh, it's a close call.

Some people would

call it initiative.

What would you call it?

Creative sneakiness.

Oh, god.

I got to make

my own breaks, Jo Ann.

I didn't exactly finish

at the top of my class.

You never even met your class.

You went to 3

lectures in 3 years,

and you still finished

in the top 10%.

You're gonna be great

tomorrow, just great.

But the point is,

I'm supposed to be

calm, collected, and commanding.

I am a lawyer.

Here I am lying in bed,

scared completely stiff.

Well, not completely.

Jerk.

Ha ha ha!

Oh, god. Laugh. Go ahead. Laugh.

It's a really funny joke.

Objection!

He's groping, your honor.

Well, a little grope

never hurt anybody.

Overruled. Continue,

Mr. weathers.

No further questions

at this time, your honor.

How's he doing?

I don't know, but he's

having a great time.

Good.

What are you doing?

I don't want Duncan to see me.

I should be working.

Mr. cowens, if we're

not bothering you.

Yes, sir. So let me

get this straight.

The plaintiff, a trustee,

criticized your bank's

lending policy

after a board meeting.

That's correct.

So...

So you punched him.

I struck him

because he was rude.

He called me an idiot.

But he never physically

threatened you, did he?

Nope.

And there was no

skirmish of any kind

preceding your act

of violence, was there?

No.

Do you mind?

No, sir.

You just felt like hitting

him right out of the blue,

so you did.

Isn't that right?

I suppose so.

No further questions,

your honor.

Redirect, Mr. weathers?

Yes, your honor.

Mr. torkenson, how long have you

known the plaintiff Mr. wilby?

Oh, approximately 12 years.

And over that duration, did

you have an opportunity

to form an opinion as to the

character of the plaintiff?

I did, yeah.

Could you please state

that opinion for the court.

You mean what I

really think of him?

Your honest opinion, sir.

He's an asshole.

Objection!

You bet. Sustained.

The answer will be stricken.

Sidebar, your honor.

Sidebar? What for?

Because I want a sidebar.

Uh.

I respectfully

request, your honor,

that the answer be allowed.

What?

It should stand. It is relevant.

And it's offensive. Don't

compound it, counselor.

Your honor, if I may--

Tell the witness

to rephrase the answer.

Well, that's just it, your honor.

He can't.

The word has a very

distinct connotation.

There's nothing else

that quite captures it.

I object. Are you saying

the president of a bank

can't articulate his thoughts

without using profanity?

What I am saying, sir, is

that there aren't many words

to describe the particular slime

that your client oozes.

Objection.

Mr. weathers, just where

in the name of god

do you think you are?

I think, your honor,

that I'm in a place

where every citizen

can have his say.

Where every citizen

can have his say.

Yes, yes, but not in

any way he wants to say it.

Tell him to pick another word.

Like what? Deceitful? Dishonest?

Conniving? They're all close--

Objection!

But asshole really fits.

It's the only word that

accurately describes the man,

and we can demonstrate

just that.

Everybody thinks

he's an asshole.

Son of a bitch.

That's good, too.

Shut up!

What the hell?

Court's adjourned.

In my chambers, now!

Duncan. Fuff fuff

fuff fuff fuff.

Duncan. Fuff fuff

fuff fuff fuff.

All right, now what kind

of horseshit is this?

I'm sorry, your honor.

I can't tell you how--

Excuse me, sir, but, your honor,

you know as well as I do that

the word has a unique meaning,

and my client has a first

amendment right to expression.

Give me a break.

Change the word.

Fine. Give me the replacement.

Give me one word that

captures the same inference.

One word. You name it,

and I will use it.

Sure.

Can you come up with a word?

Sure. Uh, antagonistic.

Antagonistic?

With all due respect, counselor,

you're making defense's

point for him.

I still object.

Oh, come on. I move for a

hearing on the matter.

What?

You want me to have

a special motion

on the admissibility

of the word asshole?

Well, let me have "ass," then.

That's close enough.

What law school did you go to?

I'll agree to it, your honor.

You will? Why?

I don't want any

interlocutory appeals.

What are you, a comedy team?

All right. We'll

hear it tomorrow.

Just "ass," though.

We'll bring the jury

back on Thursday.

That's OK with me.

Oh, good!

What's this snot-nose

doing in my courtroom anyway?

You were scheduled for

this trial, Duncan.

You were scheduled for

this trial, Duncan.

We had a trial

run over, your honor.

Mm-hmm. I'll tell you what.

I'm holding you

personally responsible

for his behavior.

He steps out of line again,

I'm gonna hold you in contempt.

Me? Yeah, you!

It's going on your record.

Any questions? Good.

Get out.

Uh, w-wait a minute. I, uh--

Get out!

Lunatic. Moron. Cretin.

We'll have to change

the name of the firm

to sleaze, sleaze, and panda.

Balls!

Well, you got your 3 days.

I love it.

Ha ha hee hee!

He's screaming at

the judge, yelling,

fighting, and I'm gonna

be charged with contempt.

And they're really

going to have that motion?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

They're going to argue

over the word "ass."

Can you imagine such

language in a court of law?

Well, that boy's got balls.

I'll have to give him that much.

No brains, but

industrial-sized...

Then geld him.

Relax. Give the kid some credit.

He's parlayed a little tort case

into a first amendment battle.

He's demonstrated a willingness

to embarrass this firm.

There's no telling

how low he'll stoop.

Oh, I know how low he'll stoop.

Robin, what are you doing now?

Steve, just the man I need.

We got to get Larry. We've

got to collect some books.

The word appears

in all kinds of literature,

from dictionaries to sonnets.

Look at these books.

Shakespeare, dickens, Hemingway,

George Bernard Shaw,

James Joyce,

Lawrence, both d.H. And t.E.

Freud, faulkner, chaucer.

But it's not good enough

for Mr. cowens.

He doesn't like it.

Too harsh.

Mr. weathers, please come out.

And face unpleasantries?

Oh, I'll bruise.

And face unpleasantries?

Oh, I'll bruise.

Mr. weathers,

this court orders you

to come out.

I'll come out, your honor,

to face reality,

but I won't stay out if you

let plaintiff's counsel

turn this courtroom into a

fortress of censorship.

The swell of obscenity

is everywhere.

Vulgarity has permeated

almost every walk of life.

But here, the courtroom

of America,

has stood to stem the filthy

tide of manmade decadence.

This place, the place where years of

integrity, honesty, and dedication

culminate for the few who earn the

right to wear that black robe

culminate for the few who earn the

right to wear that black robe

and be addressed as your honor.

Pffffft.

Objection!

I object to this

groveling drivel.

First he objects

to the word ass,

and now, your honor,

he's kissing yours.

This is grounds for disbarment!

Your honor, how can you

stand this clown?

Yeah? Yeah.

Why don't you grow up?

Mr. weathers. Mr. weathers.

Hey!

That's it, counselor.

That gets him a contempt order.

Be sure you spell

his name right--

D-u-n-c-a-n.

Ha ha.

In my chambers.

Weathers. Weathers,

you're fired.

You're finished, do you understand?

You're through.

Let me tell you something.

If you fire him, you'll

not only lose our bank,

you'll lose our 3 subsidiaries,

and I'll personally see

that you never represent

another lending institution

in this state.

He's great.

Great? Are you serious?

You bet... Asshole.

Attorneys

Robin "stormy" weathers

and Matt cowens almost

came to fisticuffs

in what some insiders

have described

as the most brilliant legal

engagement in recent years.

The only question now, Ted, is,

will the two lawyers

kill each other

before we get a verdict?

Before we get a verdict?

If we fire him,

we'll lose the bank.

We have to fire him.

We have our reputation,

our dignity.

Neither of which means

anything without our clients.

We need that bank,

not to mention that

we've had inquiries

from 4 major firms directly due to Mr.

Weathers.

What?

One client cannot be worth

an institution's integrity.

For the love of god,

Craig, control him.

I can't. He's not afraid of me.

Little shit.

I don't know why the

judge puts up with it.

He loves it. Loves it.

He's been sitting in civil

court for 30 dull years.

He gets off on it.

I won't have it, Phil.

It cannot continue.

Wait a minute.

Aren't--aren't we

losing sight of something?

This cowens kid is good.

He's very good.

Weathers has a no-win case.

He'll lose.

After he loses, torkenson's

passions will cool,

after he loses, torkenson's

passions will cool,

and then we'll quietly

can the little bastard.

Hmm?

Now, Mr. wilby,

do you recall saying

anything to the defendant

on the morning

of the day in question?

I, uh--I don't remember.

But you did speak to him.

Probably. I speak

to him every morning.

About what?

I don't know. It could

be most anything.

Well, did you tell him

that you want to have

a sexual encounter

with his grandmother?

A sexual encounter

with his grandmother?

Objection!

He said it could be anything.

Ah, that's contempt

order number two.

Charge it to him.

Mr. weathers,

do you desire another?

Sure. What does he care?

Your honor, why is it

that he can remember

the afternoon conversation

word for bloody word,

but for the morning,

he's stuck for a topic?

Because I wrote it down.

What?

I wrote the afternoon

conversation down.

Where?

In my journal.

Is that how you remember?

Yes, it is.

Do you have that book here?

It's right over there.

Your honor, I want that book.

Objection!

The law is clear, Mr. cowens.

Present recollection refreshed.

Produce the book.

What? You mean he can read it?

All of it?

Every smut-filled page,

you disgusting worm.

Objection! Objection!

Oh, that's novel. Objection

in two-part harmony.

Nope. Too late.

That's it, counselor.

Contempt order number 3.

He keeps this up,

maybe I can give you life.

I move for

a suppression hearing.

I move for

a suppression hearing.

Denied.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

What did Duncan say?

Duncan has stopped

talking to me.

He had his eyes closed

the whole time.

You know, I think

that we should just

take all this

circumstantial material

and just create whatever

inferences we can.

And just create whatever

inferences we can.

Sure. Truth be damned.

Truth? What is this

woman talking about?

This is law. Are you

really going to marry

this rabble-rouser?

Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh.

Jo Ann.

There's something

I've got to ask you.

If I win this trial, try

not to embarrass me.

What do you mean?

Remember in law school

when I won that mock trial,

you started screaming and

whistling and turning cartwheels?

One. One cartwheel.

And you mooned

the prosecuting attorney.

I did not.

One cheek perhaps, maybe.

This is the big-time,

so would you please

try and temper your emotions?

I'm gonna boo and hiss,

and then I'm gonna moon

the attorney for the defense.

Moon me later, OK?

Isn't he cute?

Shut up. Shut up, shut up,

shut up, shut up, shut up!

Shut up!

The question's closed.

He can use the book to impeach,

but, Mr. weathers,

you better damn well

but, Mr. weathers,

you better damn well

stick to the facts of this case.

Nothing--I repeat, nothing--

That doesn't concern

the facts of this case

is admissible.

If you so much as breathe

one irrelevant excerpt

from that book, I'll throw

you ijail until you rot!

You got that, mister? Rot!

Yes, your honor.

You're positive?

Positive, sir.

You're absolutely positive?

Absolutely positive, sir.

Very well. Proceed.

Now, Mr. wilby,

I've read your journal.

Tell me, do you enjoy

molesting little girls?

Tell me, do you enjoy

molesting little girls?

What?!

Lock him up! Duncan. Right now.

And muzzle him. Get one

of those dog things.

Put it on his face. Aah.

Your honor, I have cause.

You'd better damn well have

a good-faith basis

for this question,

or this trial is over.

I'll direct a verdict

for the plaintiff,

and you'll never practice law

in the commonwealth again!

But, your honor--

In my chambers!

But, your honor--

Now!

How would you like this gavel

tattooed to your forehead?

Your honor, please read

this top paragraph.

I don't want to read it.

You have to read it. Please.

"I think I pressured her

"into doing something

she wasn't ready to do.

I forced her. August 1956"?

That's teenage sex,

for god's sakes.

Those statements suggest

the elements of rape.

You're out of your mind!

He says he forced

a girl to have sex.

He may have committed a crime,

and if he was

convicted of that crime,

then it is relevant because

the rules of evidence state

that every conviction

bears relevance

upon the credibility of any

witness who takes the stand.

That is the law.

I'll be damned. Hmm.

Snot-nose grows up, huh?

Violence begets violence,

so I say to you make him pay.

Show him and everyone

else like him

that unprovoked violence

has a price.

And that price is justice.

That's all I ask--justice.

Thank you.

Counselor?

This is stupid.

All of this because one

banker guy hits another.

It's called battery, defined

as an offensive touching.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

you have to decide

what's offensive.

A man calls you an idiot

in front of your peers.

That's offensive.

A man gets slapped,

doesn't even get a scratch,

and he wants a $50,000 band-aid.

That's offensive.

Now, think about susie Walker,

a little girl whose

whole body was burned

when a boiler exploded.

Think about a little

8-year-old girl

who never got one penny

for her crippling injuries

because she died before

her case came to trial.

The man is totally without shame.

Yeah.

Then think of all the

frivolous, meaningless cases

in which nobody gets hurt

that fill up the courts

in which nobody gets hurt

that fill up the courts

so that the susie walkers

never get there.

Objection!

The man got slapped,

and he wants 50,000 bucks!

That's offensive!

You're the one that

should get slapped.

For that kind of money, beat me.

Susie Walker got nothing.

Who the hell is susie Walker?

That's his attitude.

Who the hell is susie Walker?

Who the hell gives

a damn about her?

Who the hell gives a damn

who the hell gives a damn

about crippled, dying children?

That is offensive.

Now think about it.

That man did not get hurt.

He has wasted the court's time.

He has taken up

a week of your life.

Now, everyone always says how

terrible the court system is

because it takes literally

years to get a trial date.

Well, you wonder why.

He wants $50,000, and he can't

even show you a bruise!

He wants $50,000, and he can't

even show you a bruise!

I say don't give it to him!

Tell this guy no, and maybe

the next guy won't try it.

Send a message because

there's a long line of guys

just like him waiting

for their chance

to roll the dice.

Well, you tell them that their

place is in Atlantic city,

not in the courtrooms

of America!

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Yes, your honor, we have.

And what say you, madam foreman?

Your honor, we, the jury,

acting in accordance

with the laws

of the commonwealth

of Massachusetts,

find for the defendant,

Raymond torkenson.

Ah-hoo!

Son of a bitch.

Somebody just said that I'm

gonna be on national TV.

Well, don't squint,

because your eyes disappear

when you squint,

and you'll be eyeless

on national television.

You're nuts.

Was that spectacular?

I think you're gonna

have to give

some serious thought to

making that boy a partner.

It'd be good for business.

Just thought you might

want to think about it.

They were wrong.

You're the asshole.

They were wrong.

You're the asshole.

Double time!

Hee hee hee!

And backwards!

It's your client's party.

It's in your honor.

Have a little dignity.

What is that?

♪ Da da da da ♪

And they said the

man couldn't dance.

And they were right. Sir. Sir.

Where's your date?

Oh, she couldn't make it.

Ahem.

He got stood up.

I got stood up.

Ohh.

Told you I was a lonely guy.

Hey, is that cowens?

What's he doing here?

I invited him.

Hey, you're both good lawyers.

You did yourself proud.

He's got as much cause

to celebrate as you do.

Anyhow, I know

you're both professionals.

You won't let your differences

affect a social gathering.

On the other hand,

maybe they'll slug it out.

Welcome. There's

a friend of yours.

Are you lost?

It's a party. I was invited.

I don't know if

you realize this,

I don't know if

you realize this,

but this party is in honor

of you being whipped.

The only thing whipped around

here is your reputation.

Your client used you.

He'll hire me next, as

soon as you get disbarred.

Yeah?

Robin.

Why don't you tell the

bimbo here to take a hike?

Oh, that's it.

Bimbo? Let's go.

You got it.

It's not worth it, Robin!

Robin!

Stay back. It's between us.

In the boathouse.

Robin? We have to stop them.

Let them get it

out of their system.

They won't hurt each other.

Well?

Well, what?

Wipe this, you windbag.

We did it. We did it.

We did it. We did it. We did it.

We did it. We did it!

Did you see the look

on the judge's face

did you see the look

on the judge's face

when I asked for a hearing

on the admissibility

of the word "asshole"?

Wait. We're supposed

to be fighting.

Make some noise.

Ha ha ha!

What are they doing?

They're probably talking it out.

Maybe not.

Let them figure that one out.

I can't believe this.

This isn't Robin.

We fixed a trial.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We did not fix a trial.

All we did was stage

the presentation.

We gave the jury the true facts,

and they could have

gone either way.

Man, all we did

was tell each other

what we were gonna

do and say, hmm?

You're right.

They think we're

the fastest-talking,

quickest-thinking, baddest-ass

lawyers in the world!

Awoo!

Destruction.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

I love this kind of

human interaction.

Ha ha ha!

Are you ready for this?

I got an interview Monday...

Ha ha ha!

What? What?

For the assistant d.A. Job!

Whoo!

I'm going down there.

They're coming.

Cowens!

You asshole!

It's OK. It's OK. He gave up.

You son of a bitch.

He put up a hell

of a fight, though.

You're nuts.

All right, kid.

You kicked his ass twice.

I love it.

Does that guy know how to swim?

I told you that boy

was partner material.

Partner?

I thought we were gonna

wax the little bastard's ass.

We agreed to fire him.

That's what we voted to do.

Famous or not,

the man is a blight

on our very existence.

I, for one, will no longer allow

a born-again punk to degrade

the reputation of this firm.

He's finished.

We shall not waiver

from the only sound decision

to waft from these walls

in the past month.

Warren, tell them.

Based upon projections

from the new clients

that Robin weathers

has brought in to date,

the average earnings

of each partner

will increase this year

by $28,000 to $32,000.

I'm delighted.

Thank you, sir.

I'm sure you can imagine

how excited we all are

to have you as a partner.

I appreciate that, Roberta,

and I hope that I can live

up to your expectation.

I palpitate at the thought.

Thank you. Um,

if you'll excuse me now,

I have to meet the decorator.

He's here about the new office.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Thank god he's dead.

Who?

Oliver Wendell Holmes,

who founded this firm.

Roberta, he's

been dead 50 years.

The longer, the better.

Let's not get carried away.

He's a partner now,

and that's that.

Stormy weathers.

Couldn't we at least put an

asterisk beside his name?

You have

a great deal to answer for.

My dear, a great litigator

is never without an answer.

Ms. Jensen, bring it in, please.

And this is?

The benoit case.

The benoit case?

We decided to turn down

the benoit case.

Oh, yes, we did. Why?

Unwinnable. The man was caught

with the murder weapon

and the victim's

blood-stained clothes

under the seat of his car.

Exactly. Unwinnable.

Diabolical.

It stinks.

Yes, it does.

And not only that,

but at the prospect

of being represented

by the incendiary Mr. weathers,

professor benoit

was easily induced

to plunking down a

retainer of $75,000.

Craig, have you any idea

how cynical this is?

What about our obligation

to the client?

Oh, yes.

Well, actually, I've

taken a bit more credit

than I deserve.

Benoit wants him. He

doesn't want anybody else.

Benoit wants him. He

doesn't want anybody else.

You told him the boy is one

year out of law school

with one trial?

All right. If the little

weasel starts to sink,

I'll bail him out.

Well, I still don't like it.

What none of you wants to admit

is that the kid is good.

We'll see.

You know the benoit case?

The b.U. Doctor?

I am defending him!

What?

You heard it. Me.

Why?

The bastards are setting me up!

It's a complete no-win.

But it's a great chance.

You should be thrilled.

Thrilled? There could be

a death penalty.

Not for the lawyer.

Oh, funny. Maybe

I can get him to confess

or plead guilty.

Now, wouldn't that be

somewhat in violation

of his mandate

as a defense attorney?

So what?

Jesus.

Why you?

How strange you should ask that.

Let me explain something

to you, Mr. weathers.

Through the vicissitudes of wholly

gratuitous genetic accidents,

through the vicissitudes of wholly

gratuitous genetic accidents,

I was visited with

extremely high intelligence.

I was further blessed,

or burdened, as it were,

with certain physical traits

that would suggest,

shall we say, good breeding.

Now, in this proletarian stew which

today we laughingly call society,

these attributes are not

always advantageous.

You, on the other hand, are the

current messiah of the blue collar,

you, on the other hand, are the

current messiah of the blue collar,

the people's choice, a sort

of pissed-off Abe Lincoln.

My story, which

by the way is true,

will be better served

if you tell it.

You have to realize that I'm

a creation of the media.

I've only tried one case

in my entire career,

and a murder case is

a very complex beast.

Modesty is a banal

and self-serving device.

It really doesn't become you.

And don't patronize me.

I have no tolerance for it.

Say what you mean.

This case can't be won.

I said what I meant.

I don't have

the years of experience

needed to recognize

the traps and tricks

that can sway a verdict

either way.

Scott Murray is acting

for the prosecution.

I'm not being modest

when I say that

I may be in over my head.

Nonsense.

I was there.

It was very impressive.

There?

Come, come, come.

Don't be so slow.

Come, come, come.

Don't be so slow.

The torkenson case.

Yes.

You were remarkably intuitive.

That was a simple assault case.

If you analyze it unemotionally,

this is just a simple

assault case

with somewhat more dire results.

If you equate a bloody nose

with a hammer claw

through the brain.

A matter of degree only,

Mr. weathers.

You have the gift.

It was uncanny how you

anticipated every move,

turned every subtlety

to your advantage.

Turned every subtlety

to your advantage.

But most important of all,

they liked you.

You have the common touch.

They wanted you to win,

and they were looking

for any reason

to give you that win.

Well, that is what I need.

That is what I have paid for.

And according to your superiors,

that is what I will get.

Oh, what a sweetheart--

Sort of a cross

between Charles manson

and William Buckley.

My god. I can hear my

opening statement now.

My god. I can hear my

opening statement now.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know

my client had a motive,

had opportunity, was caught

with the murder weapon

and the victim's

blood-stained clothes

and is a superior,

obnoxious, elitist swine

who makes you want to throw up,

but you're going to

have to overlook all that.

Oh, now, don't

underestimate yourself.

I mean, based on your work

on the torkenson trial,

I'd say benoit's life

is in good hands.

Let's go. We got to

get back to work.

Jo Ann?

I'm in a bit of trouble.

I don't know how to tell you.

That's why I'm telling

you while you're asleep.

You know how I got the trial,

but what you don't know

is that cowens and I

set up the trial, too.

I don't want to

exaggerate what we did.

I mean, we didn't bribe

the judge or the jury

or rig the trial,

but we conspired to make

ourselves look good.

Conspired. Ooh.

I mean, that wasn't what

we thought we were doing,

but anyway, we set each other up

so we could both be heroes.

I'm not excusing anything,

but I thought it was more of a

misdemeanor than a felony--

No harm, no foul, you know?

Are you still asleep?

Anyway...

Afterwards, I felt really low,

mostly because I knew that you

would be disappointed in me.

Mostly because I knew that you

would be disappointed in me.

But I thought I'd just go on,

be a good guy, and everything

would be all right.

But now I've been

given a murder trial.

And you know why?

Because the client saw me

in the torkenson case,

and he wants me because

I was so brilliant.

I just feel like such a fraud

because the torkenson trial,

it... Seemed like a game show.

High theater, high jinks.

Now this thing comes along.

It's almost biblical.

But, Jo Ann, I got to tell you,

I love it.

The limelight, the attention,

being on national TV.

Being on national TV.

I'm shocked. I'm a junkie.

Now, I don't have to take

the case, not really,

but I just want to.

I always thought of

myself as an idealist,

but maybe I love glory more.

Well...

It's been nice talking to you.

You're a good listener.

Oh, Robin.

Unfortunately, it doesn't matter

unfortunately, it doesn't matter

that her body was never found.

Brain tissue was

all over her jacket.

Somebody's dead, and the jury

will be perfectly willing

to believe that

it's Liza Williams.

Now please, let's go over

your story one more time.

Shall I say it

in hebraic this time

or maybe Latin?

They do still teach Latin

in law school these days?

Actually, yeah. Steve, tell him

the Latin for pain in the ass.

Uh, boxima ridem.

Very good.

That plebian wit will serve us well.

Keep it up.

All right. Again.

Liza Williams was

a call girl in my employ.

She was blackmailing me.

She disappeared.

Her blood-stained clothes and

the murder weapon, a hammer,

were found in my car.

I have no alibi, and...

We were heard arguing on the

night that she disappeared.

Do you ever listen to yourself?

What does this add up to?

I'm telling you this

for the last time.

Don't play peripatetic with me.

You're talking about

a guilty plea.

You're talking about

a guilty plea.

To manslaughter.

There's a reduced--

Don't waste my time!

Listen, Doug,

you don't seem to--

Understand.

Is that what you were

about to say, Mr. weathers?

Yes.

I understand

every fiber of every

little twitch

of every little neuron in that

sly little mind of yours.

Don't ever tell me

that I don't understand.

I know what you're thinking

before you think it.

I understand

the ultimate conclusion

to every one of these

little legal peregrinations.

Did you think that I hadn't

thought all this out?

Did you think I was going

to leave it all to you?

Don't make me laugh.

I know that this case can't

be won on the evidence.

Substance is not on our

side despite my innocence.

Style is what

will win this case.

And that is why you are here.

Do you know what you're like, Mr.

Weathers?

You're like one of those

cute little performing seals

that plays little

tunes on horns.

They're adorable.

Everybody loves them.

But do you think anybody

cares what tunes they play?

No. They just love to see

them blow their little horns.

Well, you go out and start blowing

your little horns, Mr. weathers.

Is this your version

of a pep talk?

Very good. I'm impressed.

I am impressed.

Understand one thing, and

we'll get along very well.

When I say something, I

don't want an argument.

Just do it.

There will be no plea bargain.

Who is Luther Moses?

Liza's pimp.

He's disappeared.

Ah. Yes, now you're thinking.

He knew that she was blackmailing

others as well as me.

He used to accuse her

of holding out.

He had motive and opportunity.

Yes, demonstrate to the jury

yes, demonstrate to the jury

that he's just as likely

a suspect as I am.

Why else has he disappeared?

You tell me.

And what does that mean?

Isn't it true that you

had several altercations

with Moses?

We had an argument--

Oh, you had a bloody fistfight,

and he beat you senseless!

That is ridiculous.

He humiliated you,

and you hated his guts!

What are you talking about?

Nobody ever beat me in my life.

Two people saw that beating--

Liza Williams and her mother!

He beat you, benoit.

He humbled you in front of them,

and you hated him,

and you killed him,

and that's why he's disappeared!

I presume you were taking

the part of the prosecutor.

Of course.

Your point is well taken.

Since we cannot use

Mr. Moses' disappearance,

you will never mention

Mr. Moses to me again.

Never.

What a warm guy.

He'll make a great witness.

Not thinking of jumping, are we?

Nah. There's a celtics

game tomorrow night.

I'll jump Friday.

Tough day, huh?

Tough life.

Ooh. That's heavy.

You want to talk?

If I knew where to start.

Wait a sec. I can help.

Ok. Go ahead. Talk.

You heard it all, didn't you?

Yes, I did.

What do you think?

I think this is a revolutionary

therapeutic technique

that we've developed here.

I mean, this kind of

counseling ain't cheap.

All right.

Give me a quarter's worth.

A quarter's worth?

Well, yeah. Don't I get

some kind of a discount?

Yeah. For a quarter's worth,

my advice is you should jump.

Well, what did you

want for a quarter?

I wanted you to tell me

I'm right.

Can't do that.

I can tell you that I love you.

I can tell you

that I understand.

I can tell you that

you're one of a kind

and that you got a good heart,

but I can't tell you

that you're right.

You think I'm wrong?

Of course you were wrong, Robin.

Don't come to me for

absolution, all right?

I'm not your mother or a priest.

I'm your lover.

I mean, you'd have to come

up just short of murder

for me not to support you,

but you can't ask me

to make it right.

Just go out there

and be a good guy.

It's all that I can tell you.

Fair?

Fair.

We gonna take the case?

Yes.

Is he guilty?

He says not.

They all say not.

That's why they all

have to be defended.

That's justice.

Yeah. With all the justice

there is in our legal system,

you might as well

play spin the bottle.

You might as well

play spin the bottle.

Whoever it points to wins.

Ha ha ha! Sorry.

Ohh!

That's great. You've just

invalidated my entire existence.

I think I'll jump.

No. There's a celtics

game tomorrow night.

Look. All I'm saying is,

I mean, look at all

that we've got.

I just--I just feel like

we should be giving

some of it back,

and I'm not saying that we

should be saints or martyrs.

I would just like

to land somewhere

between mother Teresa

and imelda marcos.

Between mother Teresa

and imelda marcos.

Sorry.

All right. You're right.

We'll be the first

yuppie missionaries

with all the shoes we can eat.

Queer. I know. It's queer.

It's really dumb.

I love you, you know?

I know.

It keeps me going.

Candy mead,

benoit's former mistress.

Can't find her. She's

married and relocated.

You've got to find her.

We can't allow

the jury to believe

for a fraction of a second

that benoit's capable

of that kind of violence.

If he ever hit this candy mead,

that's it, we're through.

Put another detective on it.

All right.

Now did you talk

to benoit's wife?

Gave her the whole litany--

Smile, hold his hand,

be understanding.

She's actually very

supportive of him.

And how was benoit?

It was one of his good

days-- warm, charming.

You could actually

put him on the stand

if he showed this

side of himself.

Yeah? The guy's a chameleon.

I cannot get a fix on him.

Do I have your attention?

Sit down.

I found him. Who?

A pathologist, Dr. c.R. Peckham.

Now he's willing to state

that based on the blood

sample from her jacket

that Liza Williams

died more than a week

after she was seen with benoit.

That is great! Peckham's

one of the best.

He's gonna be good

on the stand, too.

He's firm, feisty,

sense of humor.

That blows Murray's pathologist

right out of the water.

Now all we got to do is keep

Murray from painting benoit

now all we got to do is keep

Murray from painting benoit

as a violent womanizer.

Is there anything we missed?

I don't see how.

We've empanelled a good jury.

We've been over

everything 10 times.

I think we're ready.

We're ready. We're ready.

We're ready.

All rise!

All rise.

Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye.

Lions and tigers

and bears, oh, my.

All ye who have business

before the superior court

in and of the county of Suffolk

in the commonwealth of

Massachusetts draw near.

In the commonwealth of

Massachusetts draw near.

Give your attention,

and you shall be heard.

Be seated.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have a long way to go,

so let's get to it.

Mr. Murray, Mr. weathers,

we had reasonable decorum

in the pretrial hearings.

I'd like to see that continue.

Bring the jury in, please.

Is the commonwealth

ready to open?

We are, your honor.

And the defendant's

counsel, are you ready?

Yes, your honor.

Very well. Mr. Murray, proceed.

Good morning. Good morning.

How are you?

Ladies and gentlemen

of the jury,

let me begin

by saying I'm sorry.

I'm sorry because what I'm

about to do is not very kind.

I'm going to take

12 very fine people,

most of you leading good, happy

lives with lovely families.

Most of you leading good, happy

lives with lovely families.

I'm going to make you live through

the ultimate sin of man--murder.

You see, it's my job to make you feel

the horror little Lisa Williams faced.

I'm going to ask you

to close your eyes

and hear the sick sound

of crushing bone

as the defendant

repeatedly bludgeoned

a helpless 22-year-old girl.

It's my job to make you hear the

hollow crackle of a bashed skull

it's my job to make you hear the

hollow crackle of a bashed skull

as the defendant beat

and beat and beat his prey.

You'll almost be able to see

the spattering of blood

that must have been

all over the defendant

when he finished

this act of terror.

I'm sorry.

But it's my job

to tell you how life ended.

It's your job to decide

what to do about it.

Mr. weathers,

do you care to open?

Yes, your honor.

Evidence. Mm-hmm.

That's tagged, you know.

Hmm.

Mr. weathers.

That's how a hammer sounds.

I've never heard it hit bone

before, but neither has he.

Mr. weathers.

Mr. weathers, that's enough!

So let's skip the acoustics

and get to the question--

Who did it?

Who swung the hammer?

Mr. weathers!

Now the district attorney says,

"close your eyes and hear it."

Now the district attorney says,

"close your eyes and hear it."

Well, he has a great case as long

as you keep your eyes closed.

The defendant,

on the other hand,

says, "keep your eyes open,"

because you can't see

the truth with your eyes closed,

so keep them open.

Order! Order! Order!

That is enough!

You people in the courtroom,

this is not Fenway park.

Mr. weathers, you're not

gonna pull that in this trial.

Another stunt like that,

and you'll regret it.

And you're gonna pay

for that table.

Mr. Murray, your first witness.

The commonwealth calls Mrs.

Martha Williams to the stand.

The commonwealth calls Mrs.

Martha Williams to the stand.

Mrs. Martha Williams, please.

Robin. It's cowens.

I guess he got the assistant d.A.

Job.

That Murray's a smart

son of a bitch.

Figures cowens knows

you, knows your style.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and

nothing but the truth...

Anything unusual occurred on

the evening of November 12?

Well, Liza was extremely upset.

Do you know why

she was so upset?

Yes. She'd had a terrible

argument with Dr. benoit.

Do you know why this

particular argument

upset your daughter?

Yes. She said that Dr. benoit

had threatened to kill her.

Object, you fool.

Did she say why he

wanted to kill her?

Did she say why he

wanted to kill her?

Object!

She'd been blackmailing him.

Robin.

He said if she didn't

stop, he'd kill her.

No further questions.

Objection!

Untimely, Mr. weathers.

I move to strike, your honor.

No. I'm gonna allow it now.

Mr. weathers?

I have no questions, your honor.

The witness may step down.

The one thing they didn't

have was predisposition,

and now they've got it.

Your honor, the commonwealth calls Dr.

Charles peckham

to the stand.

What's he doing?

Check the witness list.

Here it is.

I thought it was our list.

I'm sorry, Robin.

Why is he calling our witness?

He's gonna discredit him,

our one expert.

It's the oldest trick

in the book.

It's the oldest trick

in the book.

Object. I can't.

I've already accepted

the witness list.

I'm sorry.

The whole truth,

and nothing but the truth?

But you are familiar with

the degradation propensity

of amorphous materials,

are you not?

I'm a pathologist. That's all.

Your honor, I'm

terribly embarrassed.

Ladies and gentlemen

of the jury, I'm sorry.

Unfortunately, I assumed Dr. peckham

was qualified for this case.

In light of the fact that he has no

background in polymer chemistry,

in light of the fact that he has no

background in polymer chemistry,

I'm afraid I'd be

less than honest

to hold him out as an expert.

I'm very sorry.

What's this guy

gonna do to us next?

Very well. Dr. peckham,

you're dismissed.

Would you care to bring one

of your other experts?

I counted on Dr.

Peckham's testimony

taking up the afternoon.

However, I do have a Mr.

Harvey Beals present,

who would like an early

appearance if possible.

Beals. He's not scheduled for two weeks.

What do we have on him?

Nothing. We haven't

even reviewed him yet.

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and

nothing but the truth?

Tried to leave

Dr. benoit's company?

Tried to leave

Dr. benoit's company?

Oh, yes. She'd had

enough of that fella,

that's for sure.

Mr. Beals, did

Dr. benoit get upset

at this point?

Yes, he did.

He said that he knew how

to keep whores from lying.

I have nothing further.

Good afternoon, Mr. Beals.

It's Harvey, isn't it?

And may I call you Harvey?

Thank you.

Now you just happen

to be the only person

now you just happen

to be the only person

who heard that statement.

Probably. The bar was closing,

and I think I was the

only person around them.

And had you been drinking, sir?

No. No?

You just happened to be

in a bar until closing,

and you didn't have a drink?

Come on, Harvey.

Actually, I'd just arrived.

I'm the night cleaner.

Mm-hmm. I see.

How old are you, Mr. Beals?

I'm 72.

And how's your hearing?

Fine.

Ever have any problems with it?

I'm sorry, counselor.

I didn't get that.

He asked if I had

any problems with it.

No more questions, your honor.

My hearing, I presume.

...Continues

throughout much of the midwest

with rivers cresting

near record levels

in Michigan, Indiana, Illinois,

Missouri, and Minnesota.

So far, 11 communities

along the Mississippi river

have suffered almost

complete inundation

have suffered almost

complete inundation

with dams threatening

to give way in numerous others.

On the local scene, the

prosecution has rested its case

in the benoit murder trial.

Hi.

Uh, I'm looking for a guy

named stormy weathers.

Do you know him?

Never heard of him.

Oh. Now, I heard

that he's an ace lawyer

and that he lives right here.

No. I live here.

Barney rubble. Nice to meet you.

What's that?

A present.

Actually, it's sort

of a good luck charm.

You bronzed my cartoon.

This is incredible.

Look at all that detail.

Jo Ann, this is great.

I love it.

Come here.

I think it puts the whole

thing into perspective,

don't you?

Don't you?

Yeah. Well, it does sum up the way

I've been handling this case.

You know what's

wrong, don't you?

What?

Why do you think that I

came here today looking

for stormy weathers?

Everybody is looking

for stormy weathers.

I faked my way

into a murder trial,

only this time

I don't have a blueprint.

Robin, you've got to look

at the torkenson

case objectively.

Ok. You won because you

used your imagination.

Ok. You won because you

used your imagination.

You just disguised it

as stormy weathers.

You came up with

the ass defense,

you seiz on wilby's journal

and turned it into

a credibility issue,

you invented the whole

susie Walker defense.

You were thinking on your feet.

That's what won it for you.

You were stormy weathers.

That's quite an analysis.

I don't know if it's accurate,

but it's astute.

Actually, I had some counseling.

Oh. From who?

Matt cowens.

You went to see cowens?

No. He came to see me.

I mean, he couldn't

come see you.

That would be unethical.

He thought that you

would find that ironic,

but he meant it.

He's concerned about you. Yeah.

He's also annoyed.

He says that benoit entrusted

his life to stormy weathers,

he paid for stormy weathers,

and he suggests that you

give him stormy weathers.

And he suggests that you

give him stormy weathers.

Good grief.

He says it doesn't matter.

They're gonna kick

your butt anyway.

He said that?

He said it.

They think they can

handle stormy weathers?

Well, um, how about you?

What's the news, good and bad?

Started rehearsals for the

revere wharf theater.

That's bad. That's good.

It's a good part. Yeah?

Do they have seats now?

Yes. Little ones.

Um, the sunshine school

closes in a couple of days.

That's bad. That's bad.

Get started on it right away.

Robin, this is a lot of work.

We can't start

a new case right now.

No. It's not a case.

It's a motion.

Get leavitt to write it.

He owes me a favor.

Listen. I want to

file it two days.

Go. Thanks.

Mr. weathers,

your first witness, please.

Uh, yes, your honor.

The defense calls.

Dr. Charles peckham

to the stand.

This is the same Dr. ch--

Yes, your honor.

The very same doctor

that Mr. Murray attempted

to discredit earlier

in the trial.

Doctor.

I remind you, doctor,

you're still under oath.

Yes, your honor.

Now, doctor, Mr. Murray

dismissed you as an expert

because you didn't specialize

in polymer chemistry,

is that right?

Yes.

Fine. Could you

kindly tell the court

how much yak manure

is deposited annually

how much yak manure

is deposited annually

on the plains of rapshu?

What? I object.

This is going

someplace, counselor?

Yes, your honor.

Will you try and get

there in a hurry?

Doctor?

I don't know. I'm not an

expert in yak manure.

Fine. Could you tell us, then,

the amount of bat guano

accumulated monthly

by the flapped-wing

Chilean fruit bat?

I object!

What does bat guano

and yak manure

have to do with this case?

I'll tell you what it has

to do with this case!

It has as much to do

with it as polymer chemistry.

Exactly nothing.

It is all a lot of crap!

Exactly nothing.

It is all a lot of crap!

Because, ladies and gentlemen,

this case is not

about polymer chemistry.

It is about murder and blood,

and this gentleman here has

studied blood and blood samples

for the past 18 years.

He studied the victim's blood

and the blood-stained jacket,

and he knows damn well

what those blood stains reveal!

And as for Mr. Murray's

little foray

into polymer chemistry

and the degradation propensity

of amorphous materials,

well, your honor,

we all know what that was.

That was a lot of yak manure.

Order! Order! Order!

And you concluded,

lieutenant sosha,

that since the murder weapon

and the blood-stained clothes

were found in his car,

the murder must have been

committed by Dr. benoit.

Well, that was

strong evidence, yes.

But you didn't find any

fingerprints, did you?

No.

And does it seem strange

that someone would be so careful

to wipe away every

single fingerprint

and then leave the

murder weapon in his car

for someone to find?

Well, it's a little unusual.

Unusual?

Isn't it possible

that someone else

put those items under the

defendant's car seat?

It's possible, but why

didn't he call the police?

No. He knew the stuff

was in the car.

It was right under him.

Isn't it possible

he didn't know?

He was sitting right over

it, for Pete's sake.

So it would be ridiculous

for him to have not known?

Absolutely.

Then it would be ridiculous

for someone not to know

that he was sitting

over a caged rabbit,

someone like you,

lieutenant sosha?

Someone like you,

lieutenant sosha?

What's that, a rabbit?

This is outrageous.

Is it?

No telling what we'll find

in Mr. Murray's trial bag.

Oh, my god. That boy.

Well, we will assume Mr. Murray

did not know this was in there.

Or did you?

Your honor, please!

Don't look at me. It ain't mine.

It's a monster.

Candy mead--

I found her.

Your honor, may we

have a minute, please?

Take two, Mr. weathers.

Thank you.

Lieutenant, you're dismissed.

It's great. He never

laid a hand on her.

It was the other way around.

She says she bullied him.

He was afraid of her.

Look at this.

Oh, god. That's incredible.

There's more.

He never made love to her.

He couldn't get it up.

He was Mr. limp. I knew it.

Pure pasta.

Heh heh heh.

She says he took her to all the

big functions, school events,

told everybody what a stud

he was, but get this.

She says she has a pimp

and that her pimp beat

the hell out of benoit.

Sound familiar?

This is great. Will she testify?

She says she will.

Yes!

Ha ha ha!

This--this is too funny.

The prosecution is

depicting you as a monster

who pistol whips with a hard-on.

Candy mead can defuse that.

She can make you look harmless.

Yes, but this

picture is doctored.

It isn't even me. Ha ha ha!

Doug, that's crazy.

Now, listen--

No. You listen to me.

You can't possibly ask this

poor, little psychotic girl

to recite these lies.

She can help our case.

No. She can't help it.

She's lying.

No. She can't help it.

She's lying.

I broke off the liaison.

It's a very sad attempt

to humiliate me.

Doug, impotence is

a common problem.

Robin, we got to go.

Guy should be weaving

baskets somewhere.

Robin, come on.

And during the course

of your 12-year friendship,

did you have an

opportunity to observe

the behavioral patterns of Dr.

Benoit?

I did.

And are those

behavioral patterns

consistent with the

type of behavior

that Dr. benoit is being

charged with today?

They are not. Doug

benoit may be mercurial,

but he doesn't have a

violent bone in his body.

Anybody who's ever

met him knows that.

Anybody who's ever

met him knows that.

Thank you, sir. Your witness.

No questions.

The witness may step down.

Mr. weathers.

Your honor, we are

going to bring this trial

to a rapid conclusion.

The defense would like to

call our next witness,

the victim Liza Williams!

Objection. I object!

Do you, Mr. Murray?

Well, you can object

to the girl's face

because she is on her way up.

Because she is on her way up.

Counselor.

The reason a body

was never found

is because Liza Williams

never died.

She is on her way

up these stairs,

and in 15 seconds,

Liza Williams is going to

walk through those doors.

Sorry. Traffic.

I guess I was wrong.

Liza Williams is not

coming through that door,

but every one of you looked.

You all watched that door,

an if you looked, you must have

thought for a split second

that she just might,

and if you thought

for the slightest fraction

that she could come

through that door,

then you have

a reasonable doubt,

and if you have

a reasonable doubt,

you must find

the defendant not guilty!

Now you remember, when you

go back into that room

now you remember, when you

go back into that room

to decide my client's fate,

remember to ask yourself

one hard, honest question--

Did you look?

Well, he does have

a certain flair.

Well, he does have

a certain flair.

This court is adjourned

until tomorrow morning.

Robin! Robin!

I think he did it.

He never looked at the door.

That's not good enough, Doug.

It's good enough for me.

Every person

in that courtroom looked,

every single person.

They couldn't help but look.

It was compelling.

I've told you before.

Your thought processes

are so transparent,

they're laughable.

Look. Not that it

wasn't a good trick.

It was quite clever.

In fact, it's just the

kind of cheap theatrics

that might win it for us.

Indeed, I may not

even have to testify.

Rubbish. You n get yourself

another lawyer, pal.

Robin, take it easy.

On what basis will you

justify withdrawal

at this point in a trial?

Lack of disclosure.

You told me that

you were innocent.

If I had known that

you were guilty,

I would have chosen

a different course

or refused the cas

but I am innocent.

I have never concealed anything,

have I, gentlemen?

Oh, well, speak up.

I have maintained my

innocence from day one,

and I still maintain it.

No one here has heard me say

anything to the contrary.

Robin, he's right.

Go ahead. Withdraw. Gohead.

I will get a mistrial,

and you, my dear sir,

will get a disbarment.

I guarantee it.

You really are bloated

with self-importance,

aren't you?

Don't provoke me.

Other people have provoked me.

Like Liza Williams

and Luther Moses?

I was about to say,

"and lived to regret it."

Do you seriously think that you

can prod me into a confession?

Oh, you really are amusing.

I'm sick of you, benoit.

I'm sick of seeing

you prance around

I'm sick of seeing

you prance around

like some ridiculous peacock.

Have you any idea what it takes

to kill a human being,

Mr. weathers?

I don't mean one brute bashing

another brute's skull out

of primitive passion.

I mean, the kind of measured,

dispassionate action

that comes from absolute

clarity of mind,

transcends rational thought.

Thkind of action that Springs

from absolute necessity,

unclouded by the

restraints of conscience,

mercy, pity.

The kind of action

that allows one to take

a common, ordinary hammer

and with clinical precision

split a skull so cleanly that the cranium

cracks right through the medulla,

allowing the claw

of the hammer to be used

to pry back the skull cleanly,

exposing the brain while

the subject remains alive,

even aware.

Even aware.

Such a man is to be

envied, revered,

and much feared.

Never paralyzed

by impotence of will.

Luther Moses may well have

encountered such a man,

and Liza Williams,

and Liza Williams' mother

must fear such a man.

And Liza Williams' mother

must fear such a man.

Even you may encounter

su a man someday.

Do not involve yourself

in betrayal, Mr. weathers.

But if you imagine

that I am such a man...

Then your judgment

is clouded indeed.

Then your judgment

is clouded indeed.

Oh. I merely tell you

this so that you know

the sort of man

you're looking for.

I am a professor of

English literature.

In short, a somewhat

disagreeable

but benign English teacher,

a perceptive but innocent man.

So do let's get on

with it, gentlemen.

Good day to you all.

Oh, my god.

That was quite a show.

Show? What are you

talking about?

He ripped her skull open.

God knows what he did to Moses,

and god knows what he's

gonna do to Liza's mother.

He didn't say that.

Robin, I think he

wants a mistrial.

The acquittal ratio goes up

dramatically in second trials.

You know that. He knows that.

Now you have absolutely

no basis whatsoever

for withdrawal.

He admitted nothing.

He threatened

Mrs. Williams' life.

Listen. We're representatives

of the court.

Listen. We're representatives

of the court.

We're obligated to reveal that.

It was a hypothetical statement,

a veiled threat at best.

Maybe he wants to be guilty.

I mean, it happens.

All this implied violence

is contradictory to his

established behavior.

That's the weak link

for the prosecution.

The guy hasn't shown the

slightest tendency to violence.

The truth is, we don't

know what the truth is,

which is exactly what he wants.

Well, what are we gonna do?

I'm going home.

This isn't fun anymore.

I'm sorry, Robin, but theories

don't mean that much to me.

I just keep seeing

that poor woman.

God. You shouldn't

have told me all that.

You're right. I shouldn't have.

Yeah. You should have.

Why can't you make him

plead insanity?

That's what he is.

I mean, anyone who can even

think of such a thing.

I can't make him do anything.

I can either defend

him or withdraw

and probably be disbarred.

Then be disbarred.

I'd rather see you be disbarred

than have anything to do

with letting this man go.

Is that really what

you want me to do?

No. What good will that do?

There will only be a mistrial,

and he'll probably

get off anyway.

They may find him guilty.

It's still very close.

And he may be innocent.

You believe that?

No.

Jo Ann, Charlie's

getting really hot.

Come on!

I'm coming. Two minutes, OK?

I got to go.

I'll see you later?

I don't think so.

I think I--I just

got to let you do

what you have to do.

I can't help, and I

can't deal with that.

I can't help, and I

can't deal with that.

It sounds serious.

It's not.

I mean, it's-- it's

not serious for us.

I'll see you when it's all over.

Meaning you're not

coming tomorrow.

No. I don't think so.

Just promise me one thing--

That you'll try your best

to let the truth come out.

I mean, that's what it's

supposed to be about, isn't it?

I mean, that's what it's

supposed to be about, isn't it?

In fairy tales.

So make this one come true.

You can do it.

You're stormy weathers.

I'll see you.

Yeah. Here you go, Mr. weathers.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Thank you, sir.

Heh heh. Heh heh heh!

Nyeeehhhh.

Nyeeehhhh!

The vibrator.

Yeah. That's right.

Ha ha ha!

I'll tell you, Mr. weathers.

You are good.

You know, I been here

nearly 20 years,

you know, I been here

nearly 20 years,

you're the slipperiest

one I ever seen.

I mean, rabbits, missing

bodies, yak shit. Ha!

You're gonna get this guy off,

I'm telling you right now.

You got this jury snowed.

Well, I'm out of here.

I'll see you.

Oh, god.

Mr. weathers!

You look like hell.

I'm gonna go wash up.

You turned gruel

into chocolate mousse.

You should be exultant.

What's happened?

I think I'm about to get

a psychotic acquitted.

Go clean up and

come to my office.

Yes, ma'am.

You're as naive as the

day you walked in here.

They're almost always guilty.

But almost always convicted.

Benoit may walk.

So you've done a good job.

You've upheld your oath.

I know. The code

of legal ethics say

that I must do everything I can

within the boundaries of the law

to get an acquittal.

And the dilemma is?

My sense of right and wrong

say that I shouldn't.

How can the ethical

thing not be moral?

Because that's the way it is,

and even stormy

weathers can't do

anything about that.

Would this be that easy for you?

No. This is about as

brutal as it ever gets.

No. This is about as

brutal as it ever gets.

Actually, I had

a similar situation

early on in my career.

It wasn't life-involving

but important,

and I followed the code.

The results were

somewhat tragic.

I've never forgotten it.

The wounds pile up.

After a while, you are afraid

you're nothing but scar tissue.

Well, enough homilies

from aunt Roberta.

I understand he did

not admit his guilt.

No.

And he did not tell you directly

that he was going to harm Mrs.

Williams.

No.

Well, then as far as I can see,

your choices are quite simple.

Your choices are quite simple.

You do your best to get him off,

or you get him to confess.

What?

That's within your mandate.

Get him to admit his guilt.

Let the truth come out.

That's what it's

all about, right?

Right.

I still believe that.

Dr. benoit.

Mr. weathers, we're not

going to take chisels

to one another again, are we?

It's getting wearisome.

No, we're not.

We have to decide whether or not

you're going to testify.

I will decide whether

or not I testify.

Do we have it won?

You know better than that.

You never know what

a jury's gonna do.

You never know what

a jury's gonna do.

It could go either way.

You're going to get me

if you can, aren't you?

Or maybe I shouldn't testify.

I don't think you should.

You won't be a good witness.

I'll be as good as I need to be.

Is that your decision?

Yes.

Yes. I think so.

All right, but I must warn you

all right, but I must warn you

that Murray is brilliant, truly.

The emphasis, for my

benefit, on "truly"?

You're pushing the right

buttons now, Mr. weathers.

Congratulations.

But I am brilliant, too,

or hadn't I told you?

Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and

nothing but the truth?

I do.

Be seated.

Would you please state

your name for the record?

My name is Douglas benoit.

And your occupation.

I am a professor of English

literature at Boston university.

And how long have you

been so employed?

14 years.

Are you married, Dr. benoit?

Yes. I have been

married for 19 years.

Yes. I have been

married for 19 years.

That is my wife

sitting right over there,

and I thank god that through

all this she still loves me.

Your marriage is

important to you, then?

It is the most important

thing in my life.

Sir, did you have an

affair with Liza Williams?

Yes. I am ashamed

to admit that I did.

I am a vain man, Mr. weathers.

I have trouble in resisting

the attention of women,

but despite the contradiction,

I love my wife.

I always have.

Dr. benoit, where were you

on the night of November 12?

I was at my home.

With your wife?

No. She was away

visiting her sister.

You are aware, sir, are you not,

that this was the night of

Liza Williams' disappearance?

Yes, I am.

And do you have any information

pertaining to the disappearance

of Liza Williams?

I swear I don't.

I saw her the evening

she disappeared,

but I have never seen

her again since then.

You are also aware that the murder

weapon was found in your car?

I have no idea how it got there.

Someone had to have

put it there,

someone who wanted the

girl's death linked to me.

Someone who wanted the

girl's death linked to me.

Obviously, he or she

did an excellent job.

Sir, did you kill Liza Williams?

No, I did not.

I know that I was at home alone.

I have no alibis or anything,

but if you didn't do anything,

then you don't need an alibi.

I am innocent.

All I have is my word,

all I have is my word,

but I am innocent.

Thank you, Dr. benoit.

Thank you.

Your witness.

Your honor, one moment, please.

Bring that book to Jo Ann.

Mr. Murray?

Dr. benoit,

I take it by your testimony

you're a man with

a rather heavy libido.

Objection.

He testified as to his sexual

encounters with Liza Williams.

His sex drive or lack of it

have nothing to do

with this case.

I want to know why the defendant

spent time with the victim.

I'll allow it.

Doctor?

I do not deny having had sexual

relations with the girl.

Nor do I deny

other indiscretions

which similarly bear upon

my sense of fidelity.

But I did not murder anybody.

I could not even imagine

that kind of violence.

I see.

And during the course

of your marriage, sir,

how many other women

have you slept with?

Objection!

Sustained.

He unwilling to defend

is honor is not a man.

He unwilling to defend

is honor is not a man.

Henry David Thoreau said that.

Yabba-dabba-doo.

Frederick flintstone

said that. So what?

Ask questions, Mr. Murray.

A man should defend his honor,

shouldn't he, Dr. benoit?

Yes, I think he should.

And...

If you were wronged, sir,

would you passively accept it?

I would like to think not.

And in fact, when Luther

Moses wronged you,

you didn't lie down

for that, did you?

Objection.

You physically attacked

him, didn't you?

Objection. Prior acts

are inadmissible.

Sustained.

Sorry.

He's badgering him.

That's what benoit wants.

He's blowing it.

Liza Williams

wronged you, didn't she?

I suppose.

You suppose?

She blackmailed you,

exploited you,

taunted you.

What's he doing?

He's making benoit

look sympathetic, damn it.

Can you identify this?

It's the hammer that

was found in my car.

Ever see it before this trial?

No.

Ever hold it comfortably

in your hand

the way you're

holding it right now?

Objection! This is outrageous!

He's put the hammer in his hands

to facilitate

the picture for the jury,

and when he asks them later

to close their eyes

and imagine it,

they'll be better able to imagine

it, your honor, because--

Save your speech!

You made your objection!

My objection is just beginning!

Sidebar--

No, your honor, on the record.

This man has committed

gross misconduct

to get me to move for a mistrial

because he knows he can't win!

What in god's name--

He has introduced evidence

that he knows to be false!

He knows--

Counselor, this is

a serious charge.

He knows my client

is not a violent man!

The state psychiatrist told him.

He called the defendant

"timid, submissive."

He knows my client did

not attack Luther Moses.

He knows my client did

not attack Luther Moses.

You have two eyewitnesses who saw

him cower from the confrontation!

I did not cower!

He tells the jury how

comfortable the hammer looks

in his hands.

But does he tell them about

the trace of vomit on it?

Does he mention

that when the police first

showed the blood-stained hammer

to the defendant,

he became so queasy

that he threw up?

Your honor, he's testifying!

You testified, too,

and you lied!

I move for--

Mr. weathers.

...false implications!

This is a last-minute

grope to depict my client

as a violent womanizer

when he knows that just

the opposite is true!

Don't presume what I know!

It is in your own files!

Attack Luther Moses?

He begged him for mercy.

He crawled away like a frightened

puppy, and you know it!

He crawled away like a frightened

puppy, and you know it!

Mr. weathers?

Heavy libido? Ha!

You have a signed statement

saying that he was

sexually inadequate!

You want to hear

about his sex drive?

Let's ask his wife!

Mr. weathers.

They tried to save their

marriage by having a child,

but he couldn't come through!

This is a man who is

a sex-driven killer?

Mr. weathers.

Look at the adjectives

used to describe him

in your own files.

That is enough.

A scared man, a weak man.

Mr. weathers,

you are in contempt.

Afraid...

Impotent!

Mr. weathers!

Impotent!

Mr. weathers!

Shut up!

Impotent!

Doctor.

Dr. benoit?

Dr. benoit,

you may step down now.

What's he done?

My god, he's gotten

him to confess.

My god, he's gotten

him to confess.

Doctor.

May have gotten himself

a disbarment.

We can continue at a later date.

Possibly.

Dr. benoit?

Playyy ball!

Obviously, we cannot proceed.

Mr. Murray and Mr. weathers,

in my chambers, please.

Your honor?

The prosecution

has no further questions.

There are times when one wishes

one had the wisdom of Solomon.

Mr. weathers?

Your honor...

In light of what we have seen

in this courtroom today,

in light of what we have seen

in this courtroom today,

I move that these proceedings

be declared a mistrial

and the attorneys for Dr. benoit

be allowed to prepare

an appropriate defense.

Lacking the wisdom of Solomon,

I must rely upon

my own judgment.

The question of

guilt or innocence

has not been impeached

by Dr. benoit's outburst.

The question of

his state of mind

can be addressed by an appeal.

This trial will continue.

Exception.

Noted.

Do you wish a recess

at this time?

Mr. weathers?

The defense rests.

I note for the record

that Dr. benoit has waived

his rights to be present

at the reading of the verdict.

Madam foreman,

ladies and gentlemen

of the jury,

hearken now to your verdict.

Hearken now to your verdict.

"We, the jury, find the

defendant, Douglas benoit,

guilty of murder

in the first degree."

So say you all?

Aye.

So be it.

Sentencing will take place

two weeks from today.

Mr. weathers, I shudder

to think of the implications

of what has happened

in this courtroom,

though I must confess

I am not entirely without

sympathy for your actions.

Nonetheless, for your contempt,

nonetheless, for your contempt,

I order you to serve 10 days

in the county detention,

commencement of sentence

to be delayed pending appeal.

This jury is dismissed.

This court is adjourned.

All rise.

What would you have done?

I would have gotten him off.

You'd really have let

that man walk the street?

You'd really have let

that man walk the street?

I'm a lawyer!

Robin, you did the right thing.

Anything else would

have been wrong.

I hope so.

I wouldn't want you as my

lawyer, you understand.

Ha ha ha!

Hmm.

Why are you crying?

I don't have the slightest idea.

We're suing the president

of the United States.

Well, it's a class action

on behalf of brigitte

and all the kids

at the sunshine school.

They got rights.

But the president...

And the U.S. congress.

I don't mess around.

I'm gonna cry.

You are crying.

No, I'm not.

Look. You said

you needed a good lawyer.

Well, you got an ex-hotshot

criminal attorney,

fresh out of the limelight.

Robin...

Yeah, I know.

I'm a hell of a guy.

From the Hip (1987) - full transcript

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