Frankie and Johnny (1991) - full transcript

♪ Frankie and Johnny, ha
were lovers, all right

♪ A man and a woman

♪ Toughened
by the weight of Time

♪ But not quite
as hard as they seem

♪ Because they both
have hearts

♪ Awaitin' dreams

It's really good for that, but other
than that Penn is the place to be.

I like Northwestern.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we should be arriving
in Altoona in 15 minutes.

By the way,
off to your right



is Rockview
Correctional Institution,

one of the largest prisons
in Pennsylvania.

Yeah, but today I think you
need a B.A. and a master's degree.

♪ Oh, but a gentle breeze

♪ takes lovin' liberties

♪ When a breath of air
blows your heart a pair

♪ Of kisses where
you wait for her

Altoona.

Altoona, Pennsylvania.

Get out your baggage tags,
please, for Altoona.

♪ Frankie and Johnny
were lovers, all right

♪ Frankie and Johnny, ha
were lovers, all right

♪ Frankie and Johnny
were lovers, all right ♪

And the final
obligation



of placing in his home
the holy scriptures,

and provide him
with instructions

in the Christian faith.

And as Thomas
grows in years,

do you, Frankie,
as godmother,

and you, William,
as godfather,

do you promise to fulfill
these obligations?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Then by the power
vested in me,

I baptize you,
Thomas,

in the name
of the father,

of the son...

Michael, stop shooting,
for heaven's sake.

You're making
the minister crazy.

And the holy spirit.

By the power
vested in me

by the state
of Pennsylvania,

I declare you
released from custody.

You're
a free man.

Thank you,
Master Lincoln.

Try to stay out a least a year,
huh, Lester?

Good luck,
Johnny.

Thank you, Mr. Rosen.

You were the best cook
in the cell block.

I sincerely plan on
never seeing you again.

And I'll miss
your western omelets, too.

I'll send you
the recipe.

Hey, Johnny,

New York City can be a real dangerous,
hostile place.

It will be
a nice change.

A new beginning
for you, men.

Make the most of it.

Come back
and cook for us, Johnny.

Hey, Delaney!

I'm in. I'm out.
I'm in. I'm out.

I'm out. I'm out.

I'm out.
I'm out.

Nice start, Lester.

Look at this,
fresh air.

I can really breathe!

Check this!

Oh, it was a beautiful christening,
Aunt Connie.

Thank you so much for
lending us your house.

Oh, I love babies.

Now, I don't have
any grandchildren.

Don't start, Mom.

Would you stop
cleaning and sit down?

Come on and visit with us,
come on.

♪ Down came the rain

♪ And washed
the spider out ♪

This is the way
people live, Francis.

Real people.

What time's
your bus?

Uh, late.

I want to spend
some time with her.

Oh, now it's
all my fault.

Nothing's your fault.

It was a lovely
ceremony, Roy.

Oh.

- Want to try it again, Mary?
- One more time, Mary?

No. No!
Please.

Oh, yes,
one more time.

Got to go.

Bye, Aunt Connie.
Bye, Frankie.

I, uh...
I better get going.

Baby, I worry about you
in New York.

I'm fine, Mom.

Mom...

Maybe I'm not the happiest
person who ever lived,

but that's
not your fault.

Okay?

Welcome to New York,
you sinners.

This city is filled
with sinners.

We don't need
any more,

but you can be saved

if you follow
the word of the Lord.

Will you follow?

The Lord can save you.

Do you want
to be saved?

Do you?

You must choose your way today,
brothers and sisters.

Do you hear me?
You must choo...

Leo! Leo!

Meet me
at the corner.

Thank you.

Hey, cabbie!
Yo, taxi! Taxi!

Yo! Yo! Yo!

Yo!

Taxi!

What are you doing?

Helen's sick inside.
They're sending her home.

I don't know what's
the matter with her.

Yo, cabbie!

Helen, you want water?

Nedda, get me
some water, please.

It's going to be okay.
Jorge's coming with the cab.

I'm fine.

- I'm fine.
- I'll tell you when you're fine.

What's wrong?

Uh-huh. He's making me go home.

Twice in one week...
Dizzy spells.

It's the medication
they've got me on.

Nick, I got a cab.

Okay, good.

Here's $10 for the cab.
You take Helen home.

What about for me
to get back?

You take
the bus back.

I'll call you this afternoon
and see how you're doing.

The woman at table five
stiffed me last week.

Okay.
Thanks for telling me.

I'll burn her toast.

I tell her to stop
working so hard.

She tells me
that she's fine.

She doesn't look
so fine to me.

You know,
she's been waiting on me for 10 years.

Well, no wonder
she's sick.

Look, don't
talk to me about that.

Good morning.
Apollo restaurant.

Hey, not
so much butter.

I say this much,
why you use that much?

Get off the phone.

In a minute, Tino.

Pendejo.

Listen, baby,
as soon as I get out...

Hey, don't go tying
that thing up all day.

Luther, who's
going to call you, huh?

Yeah, I need scrambled with sausage,
home fries, and a gun.

I'm going to shoot
that bitch on three.

How was your weekend?

It was great.

I saw my mom.

Where's my bacon?

Hey, I'm all backed up.

Help me and get lover boy
off the telephone, please.

You know, that little
underwear set I bought you?

Jorge.
Hide. Immigration.

Oh. No, I was kidding.

I was just kidding.

Okay.

Here we go.

Good morning,
Frankie.

When did you
sneak in?

Here you go, Elizabeth.
I'm sorry it took so long.

But Tino, he's real
backed up in the kitchen.

Is that okay?

Hey, Frankie,
Walt learned to juggle oranges.

He thinks it
gives him vitamin C.

Okay, hi.

We have two specials
this morning.

We have a feta cheese
omelet for $3.95

and we have a western
omelet for $2.95.

I'll take
the pancake special.

No, no. There are no
special pancakes.

There's the feta cheese
and the western.

I'll have the French toast
special with double syrup.

Oh, my goodness.
Did you see that?

I'm all right.
Don't worry.

You're all right?
Look what you did!

Look what you did!

My father had to work
very hard for this.

Poke him
in the eye!

They give you 10.

Then, when you
gonna give them change,

they say,
"No, I give you 20."

They rob you blind
this country.

I bring you all the way from Greece
to teach you business, Artemis.

Concentrate.

I try,
uncle Nick.

You can sit anywhere. We don't have
maitre d'. Go ahead, take any table.

- Again, once again.
- No. Wait, uh...

This says you're looking
for a short-order cook?

Well, we're always
looking for cooks.

But they come, and they go,
you know.

Well, I'm not a come-and-go guy.
I'll stick with you if you hire me

I like your hair
like that.

You don't think
it's too young?

Mmm-mm.
No. It's perfect.

See the guy on two?

- Oh, the cop?
- Uh-huh.

- Wants chopsticks.
- Oh jeez.

Where's my bacon?

My references, signed by the
governor. More like a diploma.

Oh. Excuse me.

Sorry.

Peter, phone call.

This chopstick
has tape on it.

You can't be
that cheap.

The other one
is good.

One chopstick?

Want me to sharpen a point
on it and have him stab the food?

Good idea.

Hey, so what do
you think, Pookie?

Think I should
hire him? Hmm?

Yes.

Why?

I like his face.

Me, too. You're hired.

Oh. Thank you, sir.

Really, thank you.

Okay, now,
you want to know why? Ask me why.

Why?

Because I believe in giving man
another chance... Close your ears, Pookie.

Until he fucks up.

Now, this country of yours
gave me another chance.

Close your ears, Pookie.

I didn't fuck up.

This is between us.

Thank you.

I won't...

Could you close
your ears, Pookie?

I won't fuck up.

Okay.
Okay, here.

Fill this out.
You bring back tomorrow, all right?

You start
tomorrow 6 a.m.

I could start now.

No, no. Tomorrow's good.
I'm here at five.

- My name is Nick. You're Johnny?
- Johnny.

How did you
hurt your hand?

Soccer. I love soccer.
You play soccer?

No. I play handball,
though.

- Okay, tomorrow.
- Nice meeting you, Pookie.

I'll see you
at 6:00.

♪ Camptown ladies
sing this song

♪ Doo-dah, doo-dah

Got a job today.

Who gives
a shit?

♪ Doo-dah
da-da dah ♪

The head is ten points.
Head ten points.

Yo, so wow much for
the bellybutton, holmes?

Yo, yo,
yo. Hit the arm. You know what I'm sayin'?

Man, winner, winner, winner.
All right.

One more,
one more. You know what I'm sayin'?

Stop playing and get
out of here. Come on!

I'm running a business.

Yo, you took away
our playgrounds, man.

Now you take away
our stiffs?

The guy comes walking
out of the garage,

he goes to get in his car,
and they shot him.

♪ Kickin' the house rhythm
with your feet

♪ Twist, turn,
jump all around

♪ Hold your feet
pinned down to the ground

♪ Get up

♪ He came from some place
back in her long ago

♪ Sentimental fool
don't see

♪ Trying hard
to recreate

♪ What has yet
to be created... ♪

Hello!

How are my shelves?

Hello!

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I'm a friend
of Tim's.

I'm Bobby.

Where's Tim?

Oh, he's at his place,
across the hall. You were out of beer.

Nice elephant
collection.

Thanks.

He asked me to give him a hand
with your shelves You like them?

A little crooked,
but... yeah.

The shelves aren't
crooked. It's your floor.

There she is.

There's
the little godmother.

Welcome home.

Mmm-hmm.
Have you met Bobby?

Frankie, Bobby.
Bobby, Frankie.

We met at
a Dr. Pepper audition.

He was the big pepper.
I was the little pepper.

Hands on buzzers.

Acrophobia is the fear
of high places.

Agoraphobia is the fear
of open spaces.

What are you afraid of

if you suffer
from xenophobia?

Foreigners.

Foreigners.

Foreigners or strangers.
Correct.

Lucy, this
is our new friend, Bobby.

He's gonna be taking you
for your walk.

Now be careful.
She likes to chase limos.

She has delusions
of grandeur.

Tim, I know how
to walk a dog.

We do have these
in Kentucky, you know.

Kentucky. Do you believe this?
I'm dating Huck Finn.

Nice to meet you,
Frankie.

Nice to meet you,
big pepper.

So? Have I found Shangri-La?
What do you think?

He's nice.

Now that's
a rotten thing to say.

He's very nice.

What do you
want me to say?

When did all this
happen?

Jeez, I leave you alone
for two seconds...

I know. I know. I said
I'd never fall in love again.

Where did that get me?

Don't
get dramatic now.

It's an
occupational hazard.

Frankie, don't get me wrong.

I love watching
television with you.

I hope we'll be best friends
the rest of our lives,

but, I mean, there's
a whole world out there.

And there's no use
pretending there's not

just because
our feelings got hurt

or there's
some god damn virus.

I know. I know.

But I'm going
for a VCR.

A VCR.

I hope it comes with
a lot of attachments.

Is that a life?

Yeah, sure, send out for pizza,
rent a film...

That's dinner
and a movie,

and I don't have to
deal with some schmuck

trying to put his
tongue in my ear.

What is the main
topic of discussion

when two lepidopterists
get together?

Butterflies.

Um, gems?

- No!
- No, ma'am.

Butterflies
or moths.

What's the matter
with you?

Have you been to college?
You should know that.

You still have control
of the game.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Give her a kiss.

Give her
a nice kiss.

Want some bran?

May as well
just eat rope

and yank it through.

Come on, come on.

You have feet.
You have shoes.

Run. Don't...

Run like you got... aah!

Papa, what's
the matter?

Are you okay?

Don't poke me.
Please, don't touch.

Hi. You buying?
I'm on sale.

I'll pay you
Thursday.

How you doing?

Hi. Looking
for company?

I don't know. What's the
going rate these days?

$100 cash.

I appreciate the offer,

but that's a little
out of my...

It's slow tonight.
We can talk.

Oh, you want to talk?

- Okay, let's, uh...
- So what do you like?

Well, uh...

What about
the spoon position?

So what you going
to do to me

in the spoon position?

Party time.

Oh, um, Celeste, no...

Christine.

Oh, yeah. Well,
clothes on.

You know
what I mean?

Clothes on.
Spoon position.

Certainly, I will go on
with dynamite,

but television people got to
be able to see as well as hear.

Watch this.
I'll do Bette Davis...

Phillip!

Hey, you
all right, man.

Yeah,
that cat can move, hey.

Ha-ha! All right.

Chop that celery, boy.

That's a good way
of losing a finger, my man.

Do it, baby.

You know, I had a cousin. He
lost two fingers at his last job.

Boy can't even
tie his own shoes now.

Oh, come on!

I wear loafers anyway.

Frankie, come here.

Look at this guy.
He's a hot dog.

He's cute, though.

He's got a cute little ass,
hasn't he?

Why don't
you tell him?

I think I will.
Hey, Zoro.

Anybody ever
tell you you got a cute ass?

Last job I had.

Are you blushing?

Cora, Cora,
stop bothering the new guy.

Let him work. Everybody
get to work for a change here.

I need scrambled
with bacon,

two easy-overs
with sausage,

and a Belgian waffle.

I'm Johnny.
Hi. Um...

Who are you?

Frankie. These eggs
don't look runny.

Mr. Deleon
likes them runny.

They look runny to me.
They're pretty runny.

He's a regular.

Who can argue
with that?

And who can argue
with you?

"Thy head
is full of quarrel

"like an egg
is full of meat."

William Shakespeare. Romeo
and Juliet. I'm reading it now.

Act three, scene one.

I can't find it now.
Okay.

Raw eggs coming up.

Not raw.

Runny.

Hey, wait a minute.
Hey, stop.

Nick, the pie machine's
gone berserk.

Whoa.

Look, if he jumps,
he jumps,

but they
never do.

I got to go.

I'll call you
later. Yeah, bye.

Hai!

Ho! Ha!

Who? So what do
you think of him?

The guy, the guy.
The new guy.

He just started,
Cora.

I've been
checking him out.

Something about him
I don't like.

Yeah, I know what you mean
Something wise guy.

No. It's not that.
It's the headband.

He's kinda cute, though.

You see
something cute in every guy.

Yeah. I know.
I'm lucky like that.

Is Helen still out?

Nick thinks she'll
be back tomorrow.

You know what your
problem is? You're too picky.

Women like that
always have opinions

about women like us.

How do those look?

Perfect.

You girls take such
good care of me.

I know, I should have
said ladies.

No. You should
have said women.

Frankie, you're looking
at a very, very old dog.

In my time,
I said

tootsies, dolls,
gals, chicks, babes.

Sometimes even broads,
that's when I was a young lad.

When I was a young man,

the wonder drug
was Mercurochrome.

Did I tell you my daughter-in-law
wants me to call her Ms.?

I know what
I'd like to call her.

But I put up with her
because of my grandchildren.

Have I shown you
pictures of my grandchildren?

Want to see them again?
Some of them are out of focus.

Peter, telephone.

How can VCRs
be so complicated?

Hey,
what's the story?

Ask Cora.

She after him already?
She's fast.

She's like a bullet,
huh?

Maybe Jorge
knows about VCRs.

That boy, all he got
on his mind is pussy.

Yeah, you open up his head,

I bet you find
little hairy triangles.

Frankie,
come here.

The professor
from the college

just stuck his hand
up my skirt again.

Okay, you pour.
I'll bump.

Let me freshen that
up for you, sir.

I always like more.

Ohh!

Oh, I am so sorry!

Are you all right?

I am so sorry.

Um, Helen's
in the hospital.

Her neighbor just called.

She thinks this is it.

Fifteen years she works here.

It's long time.

Yeah?

You think she
knows we're here?

I don't know.

Helen!

Cora,
it's a hospital.

Helen, honey.

It's Cora. Can you hear me?

Excuse me, ladies.
Could you leave now?

Helen
has another visitor.

Okay, we're leaving.

Helen, we're
going to go now.

We'll be back
tomorrow, okay?

You think we're going
to end up like this...

Alone?

She's not alone.

Yeah...

She's alone.

Aah!

We're going to need
something under his head.

Let me have your jacket.

Back off, okay?

Just give him
a little room.

Kacelnick and Paussi
we're gonna be here, but...

- What's goin' on. What's going on?
- I'm not watching, I don't know

Where's Nick?

He's at the hospital.

What... what's wrong?

- He's having a fit or something.
- Call an ambulance.

Maria, Maria,
you know I love you, baby.

What's the matter
with you?

What are you doing?
That's my girlfriend!

I don't know.
The guy's sitting there.

He falls down
like a ton of bricks.

You're stepping
on the guy. Stand back.

Uh, yeah. We need
an ambulance, please.

Uh, the Apollo Restaurant,
23rd and 9th.

Is there a doctor here?

A doctor?

Is there a doctor?
Anybody a doctor here?

You, miss. You're dressed
like a nurse. Are you a nurse?

- No. I'm a dental technician.
- All right.

We're going to need
an ambulance.

They're on the way.

No... You got to get him,
you got to get him on his side

so he can
breathe right.

- Where'd you learn that?
- Uh, Campfire Girls, uh...

I... I don't remember.
What is he, epileptic?

Uh, yeah. I think.

Are you sure?
Could be drugs.

- Drugs?
- Yeah.

Now, this guy don't look
like a drug addict to me.

- No.
- What is it?

- Epilepsy.
- Epilepsy.

Yeah. He's epileptic.
Uh, uh...

Why doesn't everybody
go back to their tables?

He's fine, really.
The ambulance is coming. He's...

Thank you. Thanks.
Thanks for cooperating.

Free coffee
for everyone.

Cora, why don't you just...
Give everybody...

Free coffee!
Nick's gonna to kill you.

Yeah. You can make
that phone call now, Jorge.

- Your name is Frankie, right?
- Yeah.

- I'm Johnny.
- Yeah. I know.

Frankie and Johnny,
the song.

Yeah. I've, I've heard of it.

- Is, is he breathing all right?
- Yeah.

"Frankie and Johnny
were sweethearts."

- Are you... Are you sure?
- Is that a coincidence?

- I don't think he's breathing right.
- He's breathing, yes.

Why don't you
go out with me tonight?

What?

I'm asking you out with me tonight,
on a date.

He just
asked her out.

- I don't believe this.
- What's hard to believe?

- I really want to go out with you, that's all...
- No.

Keep him company.
I'll go wait for the ambulance.

Oh... Oh!

Hey, chum, welcome to the world.

What happened?

Nothing much. I just got
turned down by some woman.

No, you're
going to be fine.

Hey, Lucy.

Oh!

I'm actually
in Rego Park.

Look
who's here.

Look who's here.

What's he
doing here?

He didn't even
know her.

Sure, he did. His first day was her last,
I think.

Helen can use all the
mourners she can get.

- Nedda!
- I didn't mean it unkindly.

I'm just glad we didn't
book St. Patrick's.

Tino and Luther
were here earlier.

- Nick sprung big for the flowers.
- They're nice.

- I got to go.
- I think I'm going to go with you.

Yeah, funerals
give me the willies.

- You're gonna come or what?
- We just got here.

It's the thought.

I don't want
to leave her alone.

Yeah. Sure.

Come on, Nedda. We don't
need a brick wall to fall on us.

Shut up.
Don't be ridiculous.

You're picking up a
guy in a funeral parlor

in front of
a frickin' stiff!

In my wildest
dreams,

I didn't do
anything like that.

Oh, blow it
out your ass!

Charming.

Sorry, Helen.

Tino,
who do I have to fuck to get a waffle?

Forget about the waffle.

Thank you, Tino.
Oscar's a lot better.

Hot plates.
Look out.

Here's another
present for you, Luther.

Can I ask you
something?

Oh, yeah.

Shoot.

Oh, Tino. Give me
a moment here. Thank you.

I'll clean
that later.

Did you know Helen?

I mean,
it looked like you were crying today.

Death is very sad.

But you didn't
even know her.

Well, you don't have to know
someone to feel sad for them.

They call it empathy.

Yeah.

- Empathy. Yeah.
- Empathy...

The sympathetic vibrations
of two human beings...

- No, yeah. I know what empathy means.
- No, you don't know what it means.

That's okay. I didn't
know what it means either

till I looked it up.

See, every day
when I'm shaving,

I look up a new word.

There was a little piece of turkey,
that's all.

How can you empathy with
someone you've never met?

I didn't have to meet her,
you see.

I just looked at her
picture on the casket,

and I knew.

I knew she lived alone.
I knew she had these dreams

that weren't quite enough
to keep her heart beating,

So she kept...
she kept it going

by putting a bottle
of four roses

under her pillow every night,
nobody knew about.

Vodka.

You know, you should
get yourself a crystal ball

and one of those turbans. You'd
make a lot more money than you do here.

Oh, no, I'm no
fortuneteller.

I just tell it
the way I see it.

She had that look,
you know?

My mother had that look her
whole life while she was alive.

Disappointed.

I need a blood sausage
and hash browns.

Nedda, what are you doing?
She was just asking me out.

I am not asking...
I am not asking you out.

Oh, I'm sorry
I'm interrupting.

And you know what? You're
slicing the turkey too thin.

Oh, that's okay.
I'll wait.

Baby, you know how
I feel about you, right?

Hey, don't monopolize
the phone.

Oh, thank you, Cora.

Did you come?

I'm sorry.

I usually can hold it
longer than that.

Sorry.

But it didn't seem
like you came.

I came.

I did.

Oh, it was
terrific.

Are you sure?

Are you kidding?
Of course I... I did.

Yeah, but...

Usually, a guy will moan,
or yell or something.

You didn't even
clear your throat.

I trained myself
to do it quietly.

Why?

Well, let's just say
I've been in places where

a full-throated orgasm
would be highly inappropriate.

What do you mean,
like a monastery?

Yeah, sorta.

Hmm.

I'm dizzy.

Ooh.

Maybe the... Maybe the
shoes was too much for you.

Oh, could have been.

Or position maybe?

Oh, position. Yes. Oh.

I like that position. Woman astride.
Oh, yes.

Yeah, well, why didn't you say
something? I would have done it.

You... you did it.

That's what this is.
Astride.

What, on top?

Yeah.
On top, like this.

Oh.

Oh, Cora...

Though my lips
were sealed...

My mind and my body were
just shooting off fireworks.

Oh, yeah?

Ah, so it wasn't
exactly perfect.

Don't worry
about it.

I wasn't
exactly 100%.

These shoes, they're cute,
but they kill my feet.

Can I stay over?

No.

Why not?

Because, if you stay over,
the two of us are just gonna

lie here, all night,
awake.

Pretending to be asleep,

and wondering why we
didn't hit it off. That's why.

Johnny,
you're just lonely.

I'm just lonely.

We don't have to be
Romeo and Juliet.

Lonely.

Yeah.

You got a boyfriend,
you said.

Got two boyfriends.

I'm looking for one
Mr. Right.

I'll see you
tomorrow.

See you
at the salt mines.

Bye.

Good night.

Johnny?

It's not the end
of the world.

Oh, I know.

I've seen the end
of the world.

"But look,

"the morn, in russet
mantle clad,

"Walks o'er the dew
of yon high eastward hill."

"The morn", see?

What the hell
does it mean?

It means the
son-of-a-bitch sun is up.

Why doesn't this
dickhead just say so,

instead of all this
"russet mantle" bullshit?

Because he's
William Shakespeare, Jorge,

the greatest poet
that ever lived.

So, what're you tellin' me,
you don't respect me anymore?

Oh, I could care less.

I don't respect you anymore.

Who asked you?

I think you're both
a couple of tramps.

Look, I did
you both a favor.

I tried him out.

Did he really...

- Oh...
- Two minutes...

- Tops.
- Oh, I hate that.

And so quiet,
like a mouse.

I mean,
Marcel Marceau

comes louder
than this guy.

Yeah, maybe you
scared him, you know.

I mean, that isn't out
of the question.

Well, maybe so,
but I don't read poetry.

And as I see it,
you need two words to make it in this town.

Fuck, and you.

Somebody didn't
get laid last night.

What are you talking about?
I get laid every night.

Oh, I bet you do.

Yeah.
Opa. Opa!

No. Not the wig.

No, I knew not
to use the wig.

But you know those gold
pumps I got? The stilettos?

So, I put them on.

Things are looking good,
but then I...

I know what you two
are talking about.

You do?

Of course I do.

What are we
talking about, Nedda?

Come on.
Say the word.

- Say the word. Oh,
- Come on, leave her alone.

- One time.
- Cut it out.

Just for me.
Come on.

C-c-copulate.
Say it.

Cora,
leave her alone!

Once in your life.

- Set yourself free.
- You are so mean.

Come on, you can do it!

On the count of three.
One, two, three!

I watch Dr. Ruth.

Peter, telephone.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

How much?

Whoo-hoo!

What the hell's
with you?

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!

Ladies and gentlemen,
staff,

I have an announcement.

- Crazy busboy.
- What's he talking?

I sold my first script.

They're flying me
first class to sunny L.A.,

to begin shooting Bloods
on the Moon this summer.

Good for you, Peter!

I'll give you one last day,
and I'm off to Hollywood.

Yay, Peter!

♪ Frankie And Johnny
were sweethearts

♪ Oh, lordy, how they
could love

♪ Swore they'd be true
to each other

Son of a bitch!
Pardon my French.

♪ He was her man

♪ But he was doin'
her wrong... ♪

OK,
serving for the game.

♪ I ain't gonna tell you
no stories... ♪

Aw, I got you now.

Shit!
Pardon my French.

♪ I saw your man Johnny
about an hour ago ♪

Out!

So it is. Good game,
good game.

- Good one, Joe.
- I got to go catch criminals.

♪ But he was doin' you wrong ♪

So why won't you go to Peter's
going-away party with me?

Because
I don't want to.

Come on,
I'll pick you up at 7:00.

You know, sometimes
you're really obnoxious.

I'm not obnoxious. I'm just
eager to go out with you.

That's a big
difference.

545, West 54th street.

How'd you know that?

Come on, it's on
your punch card.

What are you doing,
looking at my punch card?

- Enjoying myself...
- You stay away from my punch card!

What's your
apartment number?

Six-A.

Oh...
I don't believe you.

Six-B. Three-F.
Am I close?

- What am I doing, talking to myself over here?
- I'll be with you in a minute.

Okay, what am I going to do
to make you respond?

What, can I start
writing you little notes?

I don't respond to little notes.
Don't start writing me notes.

What about presents?
What if I start giving you presents?

I mean,
would that help?

You can afford that?

You know,
I'm saying little.

I don't like presents
and little things.

I know, I know, I'm gonna back off.
But I got to tell you something.

I got a crush
on you.

Burger deluxe!
Pick up!

Why do you want
to go out with me?

Because the heart
does things for reasons...

That reason
cannot understand.

Does Nick know
about this?

I'm going to
tell Nick.

You got her jealous,
you see?

- I'm serious.
- You got her all riled up now.

I'm serious. I really wanna know
why you want to go out with me.

We're going to go to the party,
we're gonna walk in alone?

What're we gonna do?
That's just...

Our whole life we
spend alone at parties.

So we walk in together.
It's not so bad. So bad?

No!

No, it's not.
So we can do it.

- Frankie.
- What? Do what?

What's the matter?

I don't even remember
what my order was.

One meat loaf platter
and two chef's salads.

See that?
I never forget an order.

Johnny, cancel the tuna melt.
The customer just died of malnutrition.

I'm giving his
lawyer your number, okay?

Uh, try something
a little more festive.

You need these?

No. Not yet.

I'm too old
for this shit.

Aw, come on.

I don't think so.
You look like an Italian widow.

Oh, god.
I wish you'd just come with me.

I'm sorry. I can't. I canceled
this dinner three times already.

I hate going
to parties alone.

I mean, I... I always feel
like everybody's staring at me.

Hmm. Dressed in that,
they probably are.

What time is
the bullfight?

Let me weave
my magic spell.

Ah, ooh! The land
of lost dresses.

And the winner is...

There. Now, that is a party
dress. I feel prettier already.

If you don't want to go to parties alone,
then start dating again.

She hasn't had a real date in three years,
not since Phillip...

Whoops.
I said the "P-H" word.

That's not true. What about that
Welshman? I dated him that whole summer.

Oh, please. I don't
count him. I didn't like him.

What are you talking about?
He asked me to marry him.

That's probably why I didn't like him.
I knew he wasn't gonna leave his wife.

Sure.
They never do.

What do you know
about those things?

More than you do,
obviously.

Tim, if she doesn't wanna date,
she doesn't have to.

I don't date by choice.

Too bad, because
I love your choices.

We went from Mr. Abuse-You,
to Mr. Use-You.

Plus, a Christmas fling
with a cross-dresser

that I blew the whistle on,
thank you very much.

Um... no.

Yes! Ooh, mama.
The pumps!

Definitely the pumps.
Bobby, what do you think?

Leave me
out of it.

I'm giving it
six weeks.

- Are you expecting someone?
- No.

Hello? Who is it?

Frankie?

Johnny?

Ooh, I just got
goose bumps.

Do you know that song?
♪ Frankie And Johnny...

Four weeks.

It says your name, but it doesn't
say the apartment number next to it.

I want to come up.

Six-A!

- No, no, no, no, no.
- What?

That's the new guy at work.
The new cook.

Is he cute?

Yeah. Sort of.

Wait a minute, do you have a date with him,
or did you order sandwiches?

No! He asked me to go out with him,
and I told him, no.

And then he asked me to go to
Peter's party, with him and I said no.

I think. Oh, no, what did I say?

How should I know?

Who cares?
It's a gentleman caller.

- God!
- What'd he do, run up?

This guy means business.
Should I get it?

Wait, wait!
Wait.

Who are you going
to tell him you are?

The man who shot
Liberty Valance.

What's the matter with you?
How do I look?

I'm supposed
to say that.

Yeah, but you
never do.

♪ Frankie and Johnny...

Oh, my god. I look like
the Breck girl!

Oh, hi.

- This is 6-A, right?
- 6-A.

Welcome.

Hello.

- Are you...
- Oh, my god!

You okay?

Whoo!

- Can I get you something?
- Oh, I'm fine.

I just ran up five flights.

I don't know
what got into me.

I just
had to run up.

Wanted to get here,
I guess.

You didn't have
to do that.

Oh, no, it was
my pleasure.

My pleasure.

So, are you ready?

- Yes, she is.
- Yeah, almost.

Good.

Nice apartment.
Big for a studio.

Okay, sit.

I guess there's, uh,
not an empty chair in the house, huh?

Oh...
Um...

Oh, man. I couldn't figure
out what to wear, either.

Uh, this is
Tim and Bobby.

They're, uh,
hooking up my VCR.

Oh, great.

Whew!

I'm Tim. He's Bobby.

I live across
the hall, and, uh,

Bobby lives with
the von Trapp family.

So I guess this is
your first date.

Yeah.

We just started dating,
ourselves.

Each other?

Yes.

Oh, that's interesting.

You'd never know it,
you know?

That's, uh...

So, this is really, uh,
nice and homey, isn't it?

Oh, elephants.

Oh, yeah. She's been collecting
those since she was a kid.

When the trunks are up,
it's supposed to mean good luck.

Yeah, it does,
but they got to face the window.

Oh.

Otherwise, it's bad luck.
I read that somewhere.

That explains a lot.

Uh, I think I could help you
with that wire there.

I think I got it.
If I could just...

You sure you know
what you're doing?

The last time
I worked on one of these...

OK, yeah, I think that one goes
right there. Yeah, no, I'm sure.

Okay.

Johnny, are you
an electrician?

Uh, no, I'm a cook.

This is so exciting.
I feel like your big sister.

Well, what do you think?

He's... nice.

Oh, that's
a rotten thing to say.

He's very nice.

Look, we've both
done worse.

Of course, he could be a mass murderer
or a psycho. You never know these days.

Thank you for
sharing that with me.

Come on, you look great. Hurry
up before he changes his mind.

I think it's better
the way I had it.

Yeah,
I think you're right.

Maybe I should just learn
to leave well enough alone.

Oh.
Let me help you. Here.

Try this.

You know, I have a cousin who's gay,
by the way.

Oh.

Most people do.

Um, ready?

He's really a great guy.

I'm sure.

You know he just found out he
was gay a couple of months ago.

Well, I'll look him up
in the directory.

Under the new listings.

Let's go.

Good one.

Nice meeting you, huh?
Nice meeting you, Bobby.

Um, sorry about the TV.

That's OK.
Don't worry about it.

Nice meeting you.

Sure you don't
want to come?

Next week, we'll double. Okay.

Bye.

Oh, I hope it works out.

There's a lot
of reasons. For instance,

at work,
all the little things you do that I watch.

I love the way you swig.

You don't think
we fit, do you?

We fit, Frankie.

We fit.

Like...

Peas in a pod.

Like a lock
and a key.

I'm not so sure I like
where your key's been.

You mean Cora,
right?

Okay. You think
that was something, huh?

Come on. You know what that was.

It was a band-aid
on loneliness.

So, how old are you?

None of your business.

How old are you?

What do you think?

Late forties.

Oh. Oh, no. God.

What? Then...
then don't ask.

Don't ask.

But before I go
any further,

I'd like to introduce you all to my heart,
Cheryl.

Cheryl!

The man this couldn't have happened
without, my agent, Mutzie Kalish.

Mutzie!

And finally, to all of you who
helped me when I was a nobody.

I'd like to thank you all now,
because I'm sure

I will forget you when I'm big
and in Hollywood.

I have something
to say. Okay.

I wish to make salute
to Peter,

who used to work for me at the Apollo Cafe,
23rd and 9th.

In honor of Peter,
my cousins will play some Greek music.

Yeah, let's break
some plates.

Would you like
some cake?

So, want to dance?

No. No. No. Ask Nedda.
That's her thing.

Nedda?

I mean, if something
happens between us,

I hope you're
not going to...

- You can handle it.
- I'll deal with it.

Nedda?

What?

Would you like
to go Greek with me?

Oh, yeah. Hang on a second,
though. My bra snapped.

For old times' sake.

Aah!

Ow!

Me and three of the guys
tightened that up.

Hey, Johnny! Johnny's teaching
me how to be a cook. This is Maria.

Great party.

Confession time.

On my first day,
I stole some of your tips.

I know,
but you put it back the next day.

I was broke.

I was really broke.

I'm really glad
things are working out

for you, Peter,
you know?

I wish you all the best.

Thanks.

- Come on. Let's get something to eat.
- Hey, baby, let's cut a rug.

Are you braless?

Let's go, Niko!
Come on, dance!

All right,
let's go!

It's not Greek,
but it's good.

Party! Party!

Johnny!
Let's go, johnny!

Hey, latest step!

Yes, bravo, bravo.

- Come on. There must be a reason.
- Dumbo.

- Dumbo? The movie?
- Yep. No deep hidden meaning.

- No...
- Plain Dumbo the elephant.

Just before my father
left when I was seven,

he took me
to see Dumbo.

And I liked the movie,
so I save elephants.

I like that movie, too.

The flower market.
It's my secret place.

Only me and 3,000
florists know about it.

Hey, how about a lovely corsage
for the lady?

Oh, good.

Which one?

Uh, the one on
the bottom. The third one in.

- This one?
- Yeah.

Okay, I got it.

You want me to do it?

You never went
to the prom, did you?

No.

Did you?

I wish you'd stop
looking at me like that.

Like what?

Like that.
It's too intense.

You don't look.
You stare.

It makes me nervous.

Oh, thank god
you finally got here.

Sorry I'm late.
Get off my back!

I... I think we should
go to your place.

I think so.

Johnny, I...
I really like you,

but does it have
to be tonight?

Yeah.

Who says?

Frankie...

I may not make it
till tomorrow.

Aah!

Oh, oh, oh.

I'm okay.

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm fine.

You got something?

- You mean rubbers?
- Yeah.

Oh, talk about
a mood changer.

- Well, do you?
- Oh!

The truth is that
I didn't think

this was going to happen
on a first date.

I just didn't
think this was...

Well, the truth is,
it's not going to.

- Oh, no.
- It's okay.

I don't know, you know?
I just...

I was thinking if I had brought something,
what would that look like?

That would look like I was
planning to do it with you.

- Wouldn't it?
- No, it's okay. It's okay.

Maybe this is just not
such a good idea anyway.

Oh, come on.
Now, this is...

I'm being penalized
for respecting you.

You're not
being penalized.

You're just
not getting laid.

Wait a minute. Now, is this...
Is this about getting laid?

- All right, let's just talk.
- No, come on.

How about... How about
I make us a sandwich?

- You want a sandwich?
- A sandwich.

I hate wearing
God damn rubbers.

Pardon my French,
but I know you got to do it.

I never thought
I would even contemplate

sleeping with a man who said
"Pardon my French" all the time.

Well...
Done. Finished.

I will never say
those words again.

I mean, where do you pick up
an expression like that?

- This is good. Mmm.
- Mmm?

- You made this?
- No, my Mom...

Ow! Shit.

- Let me see that.
- It's all right.

- It's all right.
- I'll get you something.

Just keep pressure on it.
I'm gonna get something.

Don't let any blood
spill on the meat loaf.

Look, I don't think this is
going to work out.

I can't hear
what you're saying!

I'm a BLT down
sort of person,

and I think you are looking
for someone a little more...

pheasant under glass.

What are you
doing in there?

Nothing. I'm just
looking for Band-Aids.

What are you doing?
Come on in. Sit down.

First Aid.

Give me your finger.

Give me your thumb.

Okay...

Mmm!

I'm 42.

I'm 32.

Really? You don't look it.

I'm 44.

Honest?

I'll be 46 this year.

What do you want
for your birthday?

I want to stop bullshitting
about things like my age.

I'll be 35
on the 11th of November.

- You're a Scorpio.
- Mmm-hmm.

Look in the medicine cabinet.
I... I have some.

I didn't want you to get
the wrong impression.

- They're behind the blue box.
- I got 'em.

Is it on?

Well, not yet, you know.
You can't just put it on until it's...

No, I know.

You know,

I wouldn't have gotten
the wrong impression.

Let me hear you.
I want to hear you.

Come on, baby.

Let it go.
Let it go! Come on.

Let it go. Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

- Come on.
- Ahhh!

Ohhh!

Ah!

I need eggs over easy
and a roast chicken.

♪ It must be love
It must be love ♪

You wear bandanna.
I wear bandanna.

The baby's coming soon?
You know what it is yet?

Yeah, twin boys.

- Twins you got?
- Yeah.

- Can I touch?
- Oh, yeah. Be my guest.

I think this one just
kicked the other one.

Cora,
I never see you like this.

People think I'm a tough bitch,
but it ain't true.

Shit like this
chokes me up.

Frankie!

- Come here. Touch the babies.
- Ah, no, that's okay.

My hands are dirty.
Um, next time.

Yeah, this is
your last chance, Frankie.

I am never getting
pregnant again.

Oh, sure.
That's what you said last time.

Flora, honey, no.
The blue. Remember?

The blue is for the morning,
and then the red one is for the evening.

- Thank you, Frankie.
- You're welcome. You're welcome.

Eggs over easy twice,
scramble three with nova.

Hello to you, too.

I see you made it home
all right.

Oh, yes. I made it here
this morning.

- I had time enough to put this together.
- Nice.

I slept like a babe.

So, I saw you talking over here.
You like kids?

- They're okay.
- You know, you look like someone who likes kids.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.

So did my father. What does
somebody who likes kids look like?

I need an order
of liver and onions...

Captain Ahab.

Hey, thanks for loaning me the car,
Nick.

He's lending me
his car.

I got an errand to run.

He's lending you his car?

He likes my cooking.

How about we take a little
walk? I think we should.

Look, I got to eat.

We all got to eat.

We'll eat.

How about I make
a little picnic for us?

What's the menu?

Whatever you like,
you know.

You like tuna fish?

Tino tells me you like tuna fish.
I'll make tuna casserole.

Oh, no, not casserole. No.

Tuna fish sandwich.

I am defined
by my tuna sandwich.

I take the tuna
out of the can,

and I work it between my
fingers until it gets real soft.

I'm back.

It is kind of scary.

You got to admit, two people
coming together is scary.

But, you know,
you can't deny that it's happening.

You know how I feel?
I'll tell you how I really feel.

I feel like you're
too needy for me.

- Oh, come on. What's that? What does that mean?
- It means...

I feel like you want everything
that I am, you know?

Yes, I do. Why not?

Nick tells me guys ask you
out and you just keep saying no.

Why is that?

- I'm retired from dating.
- What does that mean?

Something happen to you when
you were a kid? What happened?

No.

Why is it that anytime
a woman doesn't want to

get involved
in a relationship,

men think it's because they
were messed with as a kid?

Wrong. They were
messed with as a woman.

I'm not going to
mess with you.

You like my tuna?

Yeah. It's good.

So you didn't graduate
high school. So what?

- So you can go back.
- Go back?

- Yeah.
- No, I don't think so. No.

I had one highlight
in high school. One.

What was that?

I played Sister Sarah in our
production of Guys and Dolls.

No kidding?

Frankie and Johnny.

Yeah.
I've heard the song.

We were a couple
before we met.

Didn't they end up
killing each other?

No, she killed him.
You got the edge there.

Come on, let's go.

Yes!

Yes, yes. Go ahead.

So, what are you
doing tonight?

Bowling.
It's my bowling night.

Bowling? Great.
I love bowling.

No, no, no.
It's a league

and besides,
you have your errand.

- After my errand.
- No.

Johnny, I need a night
to get over you.

I mean, last night...

Okay, so I'm on
meadowbrook.

Fourteen...

Meadowbrook...
Meadowbrook...

Where's 111?
Where is 111?

Oh, Meadowbrook.

Am I close?

Here it is.

- Let's bowl.
- Okay.

Okay, now,
concentrate, Cora.

All right, Cora!

Yes. Bring 'em in.

Here we go, Frankie.
Here we go.

We need this spare, honey.

She knows how to
roll spares. Watch this.

Watch this.
Watch this.

Yes!

Oh, hell.

Great, Nedda.

Great?
It was terrible.

It was better
than last time.

Wow! Did you see that?

Hey, where'd you learn
to bowl like that?

Altoona, PA.
That's about all I learned there.

Hi.

You're from Altoona?
Yeah.

I... I think I'm going to
have some kind of fit.

I... I was born in Altoona.

- Very funny. Very funny. He makes things up.
- No, are you kidding?

No! I was born in
St. Stephen's hospital.

We lived
on Martell Street.

And I suppose you went to
Moody High School, too.

No, I didn't go to
Moody High School

because we left when I was
eight years old.

I went to Park Lane
elementary, though.

Are you really
from Altoona?

Well, why would anyone
pretend they were from Altoona?

So they could keep up this
cockamamie coincidence theory.

Don't encourage him.

Listen, my mother ran off with
a guy she met at an AA meeting.

My father took us to Baltimore,
to his sister, my aunt.

Cora, it's your turn.

No. This is better than
Old Yeller. Go on.

She couldn't cope with us,
so they put us in foster homes.

Now I'm 18 years old,
and I'm with the carnival.

This guy Mr. Memory,
he's 85 years old.

He's got a memory,

instant recall, so he's
got things in his head.

He's got entire
books in his head,

- Palindromes, speeches...
- What's that?

Palindromes, um, something you can
spell backwards and forwards the same way.

- You know, like...
- Madam.

- Otto.
- Boob.

B-O-O-B.

Puppy.

Close enough.

Anyway, the old
guy says to me, "Johnny..."

Are we bowling
or what?

Sorry.

Shall we bowl?

That's why he has
such a good memory.

Tell him he can't
bowl in those shoes.

Hey, what is
the matter with him?

Okay, I'm going to use
my own little ball here.

Come on, Frankie!
She's not on my side.

How you doing?

Okay.

- You all right?
- Mmm-hmm.

I know I wasn't supposed
to come here tonight.

I don't know how you
feel about me coming here.

- It's okay.
- It's okay?

Yeah.

Babe?
Yeah.

Frankie, you're up.

Okay, we need a strike.

They're ahead by four.

What are you talking
about, they're ahead?

Let me look at this.

That's 92 and 8 is a hundred.

It's not 96.

No, no. That was
a happy face I drew.

If you're going to doctor
somebody's scores, doctor mine.

Okay, okay.

I'm going all over
the place with you.

- I don't know what you're talking about.
- I'm talking about this.

I'm in love with
you. I love you.

I am totally,
completely mad for you.

My heart stops every
time I look at you.

Personally, I think
we should be married.

I definitely want
to have kids.

Four or five,
if possible.

There, I said it.
Wasn't so difficult.

You don't have
to say anything.

It's fine with me. I just
wanted to get it out, myself.

Talk about a load off.

Talk about a load off?

Talk about
a crock of shit.

Aw, don't
say that, Frankie.

That's vulgar talk. That's not
like you. You don't talk like that.

Fuck you how I talk.

I'll talk any fucking way
I fucking feel like it.

This is my fucking
bowling night.

Who the fuck are you
to fucking spoil it

by fucking telling
me you love me?

She really
likes this guy.

I told you I love you,
that makes me unlovable.

No. It makes you a creep.

No, you're not a creep. You're
sincere. That's what's so awful!

I mean, are you nuts?

Kids, for Christ's sake!

So what's wrong with kids?

I hate kids!

- I don't believe that.
- Okay, I'm too old to have kids.

No, you're not.

I can't have any.

Are you happy now?

We'll adopt.

Look, you don't
just decide

to go falling in love with people,
out of the blue.

- Why not?
- They don't like it!

Do you need help?

How would you like it if Nedda
came up to you and she said,

"I love you and I want
to have your baby"?

Nedda, I really like you.

You're a nice person.
But I love Frankie.

I'm getting help.
You don't know me.

I can't do anything.
I slept with the guy.

You slept with him?

Frankie didn't
tell you that?

She told me you slept with
everybody else, not him.

She didn't tell you
about the gold pumps?

He wore gold pumps?

You just want to believe
that just because

that makes it easier for
you to keep running away.

You don't know me.
I don't know you.

I know you.

What do you want, Frankie?

What do you want?

What do you want
from a guy?

I want a guy who will
love me no matter what.

You got him. Here. Me.

Christ, this is worse than
Looking for Mr. Goodbar.

Frankie, I am trying to
improve my life, that's all.

And I'm running out of time.

Maybe you should just
go find someone else

who's double-parked like you.

That could happen, you know.
I could meet somebody tomorrow,

Get laid,
think I was in love with her.

- Why not?
- Hey, don't let me stop you.

You're not stopping me.
I'm stopping me. I love you!

But I'm so scared, Frankie.

I'm so scared you're
going to retreat back.

You know, to that place
you're so comfortable with.

That place where
nobody can find you.

That's why I'm coming on
so strong. Can't you see it?

What's going on here?

Frankie,

chances like this
don't come along often.

You got to take them because if you don't,
they're gone forever.

And you may wind up

not only, and pardon my
French for the very last time,

screwing some other
person you meet,

thinking you're in
love with this person,

and marrying them.
It happens.

Okay, Johnny, that's enough.
You're making her cry.

Boy, are you barking
up the wrong tree.

You know, I never thought that
I could fall in love with a woman

who said,
"Barking up the wrong tree."

Let's go.

You've driven me to it!

All right. Let's calm down, shall we?
You wait outside.

Are you all right?

I never use that expression.

Ever!

If I wanted a man in my life,
I wouldn't have bought a VCR

I can't even work.

Excuse me. Um...

I live in the building
across from you,

and, uh...

I've seen how
he beats you.

Is there anything
I can do?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Shit!

Excuse me. Don't be afraid.

Let me help you.

Thanks, mister.

I can't take it anymore.
This is not fair.

You're not going to give up
your job because of this guy.

You were there first.

I'll handle him.

Now what's the problem?

He says
he's in love with me.

He wants to marry me.

That bastard!

He's talking about a family.

Boy, you can pick 'em.

Love, a home, marriage.

Screw that shit.

Can I answer this?

Tell him to go to hell.

Frankie just said something
very derogatory about you,

but I know at least
a dozen women

and quite a few men I can
put you in touch with.

Johnny, give it a rest.
She doesn't want to talk.

He wants to know
about tonight.

Saturday night.

The loneliest night
of the week.

I'm busy.
Call me in a few years.

He's singing.

♪ Saturday night is the
loneliest night of the week ♪

Johnny, I got to go.

We're expecting another
call from you any minute.

Now remember,
you're new here,

so you're easy to fire.

Okay now, keep things clean.

Over here we have
the ice for the drinks.

Remember that.

Here is the telephone.
Don't use it.

I like your ponytail. You don't
write scripts or something like that.

All dishes go here, okay?

Okay, over here all waitresses
put dirty dishes here, okay?

You keep clean.

Frankie, you're
going to kill me.

I just got here. Why?

Many people changing shifts.
This makes me dizzy.

It's not my fault, okay?

You had tonight off.

So did you.

Yeah, well, something came up.

Something
came up for me, too.

Look, I don't want to
hurt your feelings, okay?

I really don't,

but, you know,
Nick doesn't like the help messing around.

You know, so please

don't make this any more
difficult than it has to be.

I really need this job.

You think I would
jeopardize your job?

I would never
jeopardize your job.

I'd quit before I do that,
and I mean that,

and I need
this job, too.

Okay, all right. Well, then let's
just both go about our business.

I need
a chicken sand,

and it's birthday
time at table eight.

This is brand-new cashier,
and she's my grandmother.

Now you give her check
when you finish, okay?

♪ For he's a jolly good
fellow Have good time.

♪ Which nobody can deny

Happy birthday, Uncle Lou.

- You look great.
- Blow. Blow it out.

Watch yourself.

Thank you.

A grilled cheese
and an order of skins.

I got a little carried
away at the bowling alley.

You know, my errand
didn't turn out too good.

So, I just want you to
know I'm sorry. I apologize.

Well, you certainly
made an impression.

You want something
to drink?

I'm on a break, too, so...

Talk, don't talk.
It's up to you.

Are you keeping some
big secret from me?

- Like what?
- Like, I don't know. Like, you tell me.

Uh...

I'm not married.

Were you?

Yes.

- How many times?
- Once.

That it?

Were you in jail?

Yes.

Served 18 months
in the slammer.

What for?

Signing somebody else's name
to somebody else's check.

A forger?

Well, I'd call it
a failed forger.

I mean, I just did
it once. I was...

Is that where you did
all your reading, prison?

Yeah, most of it.

I got most of my books from
a fella named Henry Hank Hill.

I don't know him.

Nobody did. He was
executed two months ago.

I cooked him
his last meal.

Andreas,
this lettuce is limp.

I'm sorry.
You're right.

- I'm going to the john, Frankie.
- Okay.

So, how about you?

Were you ever married?

No.

Uh, chef's salad, chicken salad,
and a side of slaw.

Anyone serious?

Try terminal.

Who's this serious person?
Who is that?

Uh, well, he got
more serious with

who I thought was
my best friend.

Oh, really?

How long ago
was that?

Three years.

I was divorced
three years ago.

Now, is that
a coincidence?

Really?

I cross my heart
and hope to die.

- Waitress!
- I'll be right with you, ma'am.

You got any kids?

Two.

I thought so.

You see them?

Yesterday.
First time in two years.

- Yeah?
- That's what the errand was about.

My wife remarried.
She lives in the suburbs now.

I hate the suburbs.

No, it's not bad.
Beautiful house.

Nice. I could have never provided
them with anything like that.

So I got there.

There were my kids,
playing on the lawn.

I bet they were
glad to see you, huh.

Well,

I didn't get out of the car.

I just couldn't, uh...

They looked so
happy, you know.

They got so big. They...

Looked like somebody
else's kids, so...

I just drove away.

It's like I lost them,
you know?

That's how I feel.

Waitress!

Hello! Can we get
some service?

No, you haven't
lost them.

You're just not ready.

Finally.

What's
safe to eat here?

I'm sorry. We're closed.

What?

What kind
of a place is this?

Okay, hurry up.
Let's go.

Good night, Frankie.

- Good night, Andreas.
- Good night, Ari.

Here's yours, Frankie.

You can come back
here any Saturday night.

Thanks, Maxine.

- Good night, Maxine.
- Good night.

- Was she home?
- Yeah.

- Did you talk to her?
- Yeah.

What did she say?

I'm going to see
the kids next weekend.

Good.

Thank you.

What is that?

It's a rose.

It grew in the kitchen.

Okay, good night.
Closing up.

Everything finished.

Okay, is good.

What's that?

It's a potato.

It's a rose.

Johnny made it.

On my break.

It's nice.

That potato.

Very romantic.

Okay, Frankie, you
want lift home?

It's okay.

Thanks.

Okay, you know how
to close up. Huh?

Bring back fork.

- Good night.
- Good night, Nick.

Good night.

Come on, grandma. We go home,
watch wrestling. Come.

Come on.
I'll walk you home.

So, how about you?

Do you ever want to
kill yourself sometime?

Uh... well, yeah.

Everybody wants to kill
themselves sometime.

Can we change
the subject?

Okay. Want me
to buy you that?

Yeah.

If you had any wish,

what would you
wish to be?

You won't laugh?

No.

Teacher. You know,
teaching little kids.

That's good.

What about you? I mean did
you always dream of being a cook?

No. Prison did it.

When I went in and I heard that clank,
you know, boom.

I died.

Then they put me in
the kitchen with the food,

and, I don't know,
suddenly I was born again.

I started to feel like
I could breathe again.

You know, it was like
I had aspirations.

Aspiration?

- Aspiration, yeah.
- Have you been shaving again?

So what about
this terminal

relationship you had with
this guy? What was that?

The guy who left you
for your best friend?

Phillip? You know,
the main thing I felt was? Dumb.

I even introduced them.

I lent them money.

I gave her my old television.

They're probably watching it
together at this very moment.

I hope it explodes and
blows their faces off.

What about before Phillip?

Anybody else?

I don't want
to talk about that.

Okay, but you can't
spend the night.

Aw!

You know, I know there's got
to be something in this world

better than watching
you do that,

but I'll be damned
if I know what it is.

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, sure.

No, I put it up there,

it's a vision.

It's inspired spectacle.

I put it up there with
the Grand Canyon,

a mother nursing her child,

triumphant facts of nature.

You been to the Grand Canyon?

I have not, no.

Yeah. Me either.

I'd like to go there
someday. Hawaii, too.

Open your robe.

No. I don't want
to open my robe.

Why?

I don't know.
I just want to look at you.

No.

Fifteen seconds. That's all.

I just
want to look at...

Look at what?

Why?

I don't know.
I just...

To know that I can...

That I can look at the
woman I love and just see her,

her eyes, her breasts,

her stomach.

Don't say it.

- I wasn't going to.
- I hate that word, Johnny.

Well, I hate
both of them.

Okay, I'll look up
some new ones in my thesaurus.

I never know when you're
playing games or being serious.

I am doing both.
Serious games.

Look, why do we have
to name everything?

Say you had a pet
parakeet, right?

It was beautiful.
I'd want to look at it.

You'd let me look at it,
and we'd be on to the next thing.

I had a parakeet. I hated it.
I was glad when it died.

Okay.

Fifteen seconds.
I'm timing this.

Turn that light out.

I told my cousin I didn't want a bird.
She swore I'd love a parakeet.

What's to love?
They don't do anything

except not sing when you want
them to and sing when you don't.

Make that awful scratching
noise on the bottom of the cage.

If I ever get another
pet, it'll be a dog.

You know, something
you can hold.

The only time I got my hands
on that god damn parakeet

was the day it dropped
dead and I had to pick it up

and throw it in the garbage can.
Okay, that's enough.

That's got to
be 15 seconds.

Happy now?

That music is nice.

Makes me

think of grace.

You're listening to
Midnight with Marlon.

For information on becoming
a supporting member

of the WMYL family,
why not give me a call?

5-5-5-1-1-1-1.

What do you want to kill
yourself about sometimes?

I want to kill
myself sometimes

when I think that I'm the
only person in the world

and that part of me
that feels that way

is trapped
inside this body

that only bumps
into other bodies

without ever connecting
to the only other person

in the world trapped
inside of them.

We have to connect.

We just have to.

I feel...

Very...

Sad?

No. I don't
know what it is.

- Say it. Say it anyway.
- No.

Protective.

Good. That's very nice.
No.

I'm looking for somebody
to take care of me this time.

Aren't we all?

Why do we keep going from
one subject I don't like to another?

What is this? All of a sudden,
the armor's up.

What about your armor?

- I don't have any.
- Besides. I wasn't talking about you.

Not everybody thinks
life is a picnic, Johnny.

Some of us
have problems.

Some of us
have sorrows.

But people like you are so
busy telling us what you want,

how you feel,
you don't even notice the rest of us

who aren't exactly
jumping up and down

singing Yankee Doodle Dandy.

Hold it.

How are we
getting into this stuff.

What are you talking about?
I've done nothing but notice you.

You don't notice me.
You smother me.

I am not gonna give up everything
again for somebody I don't know

and doesn't know me.
I can't keep repeating

the same stupidity in my life.

Who's saying you
give up anything?

We're talking
about love here.

We're talking about need
and things like that.

We're not in love.

Maybe that's
what you think.

I think we are.

Just because you've
given up on that possibility,

there's no need to drag me down
to that kind of level of thinking.

I think you better leave now.

You know, I'm sorry.

I thought you were
a kindred spirit.

You know
what kindred means?

Two of a kind,
sharing a great affinity.

I know what kindred means.

Shall we go
for affinity?

You know...

That is the first
really rotten thing

you've said to me.

To make fun of somebody
else's intelligence

or education
or lack of,

that is somebody I would
be very glad not to know.

I thought you were sad, Johnny.
I thought you were weird.

I didn't know
you were cruel.

- I'm sorry.
- It's just a cruelty just waiting to happen again.

And I don't want to be there when it does.
Just get out. I want you to go.

Why do you want me to go?

I mean really.
Why do you want me to...

I want to be alone.
I want to watch my VCR.

I want to eat ice cream.
I want to go to sleep.

Aw, come on,
alone. Jeez!

Sooner or later,
you're going to have to deal with us.

I mean, that's it.
There's just no two ways about it.

Why don't we get
it over with now?

You're in the mood.

Come on. Tomorrow's
Sunday. Day off.

We'll sleep in.
Let's talk.

All right, I'm calling Tim.

No, Bobby. He's bigger.
He'll beat the shit out of you.

Not yet. Not yet.

All I have to is open up
that window and scream.

Are you kidding.
In this city?

Everybody's doing the same thing.
Who's going to hear you?

Get out!

Okay.

Okay.

I promise
I will go.

Only, I want
to make a call.

You know,

this all should be so easy.

Why is it always
so damn hard?

Hello, uh,
Midnight with Marlon?

Oh. Hello, uh, Marlon.

My name is,
uh, Johnny,

and I would like
to know the name

of that particular
piece of piano music

you were just playing
a minute ago.

So I can go out and buy the record,
present it to my lady love,

whose name happens
to be Frankie.

And is that not a coincidence?
Frankie and Johnny.

Debussy. Claude Debussy.
Right.

Clair de lune.
You got that?

Why are you
doing this?

Everything I want
is in this room.

Uh, hello, uh, Marlon.

Yeah, I know you
don't take requests,

but could you just listen
to me a second?

Now, there's
a man and a woman.

He's a cook.
She's a waitress.

Now, they meet,
and they don't connect,

only, she noticed him.

He could feel it.

And he noticed her.

And they both knew
it was going to happen.

They made love

and for maybe
one whole night,

they forgot
the ten million things

that make people think,
"I don't love this person,

"I don't like this person,
I don't know this..."

Instead, it was perfect,

and they were perfect,

and that's all there
was to know about.

Only, now she's beginning
to forget all that,

and who knows pretty soon he's going
to forget it, too, so I was just wondering

could you play an encore
for Frankie and Johnny

in the hope of something
that ought to last

and not self-destruct?

Well, why don't you
just think about it?

Okay. Thank you.

I want to show
you something.

That guy I didn't
want to talk about,

he did this
with a belt buckle.

It's gone.

It'll never go.

It's gone.
I made it go.

No, Johnny.
You can't make it go away.

Nobody can.

He's the reason
I can't have...

Kids.

Um...

He knocked me around

when I was pregnant,

and, um...

I lost the baby.

And there were
complications.

He's gone now.

I would
never hit you.

Never.

You don't have to
be afraid anymore.

I am.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid
to be alone.

I'm afraid not to be alone.

I'm afraid of what I am,
what I'm not,

what I might become,
what I might never become.

I don't want to
stay at my job

for the rest
of my life, but I...

I'm afraid to leave.

And I'm just tired,
you know?

I'm just so tired
of being afraid.

Aw, honey.
Honey, listen to me.

I know I can't make
the bad go away.

You're right. I can't.

But,

when the bad comes again,

I'm going to
be next to you.

I can't, Johnny.

I'm sorry.

This is WMYL in New York,

and you're listening to
Midnight with Marlon.

As you know, it's not my
policy to take requests,

but there's always
an exception to the rule.

I don't know if this is the most
beautiful song ever written,

Frankie and Johnny.

Oh, how I wish that
really were your names,

but I know when my
leg's being pulled.

God, how I wish you
two really existed.

Maybe I'm crazy,

but I'd still like
to believe in love.

Why the hell do you think
I work these hours?

Anyway, you two moonbeams,

whoever

and wherever you are,

whatever you're doing,

this one's for you.

Here's an encore.

You want to brush?

That means you
want me to brush.

Take the blue one.
It's never been used.

I'm not going to ask
you whose robe this is.

Good.

You should get toothpaste
with fluoride.

Shh.

Listen.

No matter what?

I'm 36.

♪ There you are

♪ Killing time

♪ So scared to
show your feelings

♪ Afraid of fallin'

♪ I won't fly

♪ Until I'm sure

♪ You won't know

♪ Until you let go

♪ The closer I get to you

♪ The more you pull away

♪ I've been trying to find

♪ The perfect words to say

♪ Let it out, let it show

♪ Let it breathe, let it grow

♪ Can't you see
I'm waiting for you

♪ Love is yours, love is mine

♪ Stand it up
and make it shine

♪ Open up

♪ Your dream could come true

♪ You could find

♪ What you need in me

♪ Here I am

♪ Hold on

♪ And let go

♪ I'm waitin' for you

♪ Waitin' for you

♪ Love is yours, love is mine

♪ Stand it up
and make it shine

♪ Open up

♪ Your dream could come true

♪ Let it out, let it show

♪ Let it breathe
and let it grow

♪ Can't you see
I'm waiting for you ♪

♪ Frankie and Johnny, ha

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ A man and a woman

♪ Toughened by
the weight of time

♪ But not quite as
hard as they seem

♪ Because they both have
hearts awaitin' dreams

♪ Frankie, a tough gal
when she needs to be

♪ Johnny,
a city-hard, street-made

♪ A softer side
seen eventually

♪ They'll both be okay

♪ Even with a heartbreak
yesterday

♪ Frankie and Johnny, ha

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ Frankie and Johnny

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ Oh, when a gentle breeze

♪ Takes lovin' liberties

♪ When a breath of air
blows your heart a pair

♪ Of kisses where
you wait for her

♪ Frankie and Johnny

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ Frankie and Johnny

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ Heeeooo

♪ Were lovers, all right

♪ Frankie and Johnny