Found Footage 3D (2016) - full transcript

So, what do you think?

It's good, it's a little cliche,
don't you think?

No, that's not cliche.

That's how every found
footage movie starts.

I know,
that's why I called it cliche.

Yeah, that or a fake police
evidence tag.

Yeah, and plus,
if the bodies were never recovered

you know,
how did they find the footage?

Yeah, no, of course,
I'm saying this looks good..

Oh, no this looks great!

Yeah, the text and everything,



it's very impressive.
Thank you.

Yeah, no, absolutely,
but again, in this first part,

it doesn't say anything about why

they were filming in the
first place,

it just says that the
footage was found.

What footage?
The vacation video footage?

No, I know that, but the
audience needs to know that.

Yeah.

Right.

No, of course they do.
Right.

Right, no, I'm saying, yeah,
we should put that in there.

I agree, that's a great idea.

Obviously, but it looks
good and we should add that.

It looks great,
and we should put that in there.



There it is then, it's happening,
we're making movies.

This guy right here comin'
up with good ideas,

that's why I hired him as director.

Let's put it in, Rock Star.
Terrific.

It's not gonna fit dude.
We got everything?

This is it man.

It's everything.
This'll fit in there.

Is this the new PA?

Yep.

Oh good, he can give us a hand.
We need it.

Hey! There she is!

I'm good, how are you?

I'm good too.

Lily, I want you to meet Andrew.

This is our director.

Hi Andrew, Lily.

This is my brother Mark.

Hey Mark.

Mark, this is Lily, our new PA.

I'd shake your hand, but..

you're filming.

Yeah.

It is very expensive sound gear.

Good stuff, top shelf stuff here,

probably seen these, you know,
on set, people do that.

This is my boom stick.

Shop smart, shop s-mart.

Okay, good point, except
that's not gonna be enough.

Hundreds, thousands of
movies get made every year,

never seen the light of day
because they don't have

a huge movie star or
big special effects,

which we don't have the budget for,

so we have to find a way to
make people pay attention to us.

We need to generate free publicity.

Okay.

But how do you do that?

How do you make free press?

Well, the way I see it,
there are two ways to do it.

One, create controversy, right.

You piss the right people off,

they will write about you.

So, I got to thinking,
you know what,

let's write in like a
pedophile catholic priest,

that'll get the catholics all
riled up.

Don't do that though.
I'm not going to.

Oh my god.

Because there is another
way to get free press,

and that is to be the
first at something.

Okay

Sharknado! Yes? Right?

Deadly aquatic life forms,
deadly weather patterns,

first movie to combine them,

total piece of shit as a film,

but it sold at afm last
year based on the concept..

Wait, I know, but again,
I feel like

"Piece of shit" is not
what we're goin' for.

Of course not, but what if we
make a kick ass scary movie,

and we are also the first
at something noteworthy.

That would be like the
best of both worlds.

Right? Come for the concept,
stay for the great film.

Okay, so what are we gonna be
the first to do?

Get ready to have your minds blown.

Hold onto your knickers, because

as of this morning we are
no longer just shooting

the greatest found footage
horror movie ever made.

We are shooting...

Drum roll.

Drum roll, can I get a drum roll?

I don't do sound effects.

He's not gonna stop
until you drum roll.

Trust me you are going to
want to be doing a drum roll

when you find out.

Okay, okay. Very good.

We are shooting the first ever

found footage horror movie...

In 3D.

What?

We're shooting in 3D.

We're shooting in 3D?
We are shooting in 3D.

How are we shooting in 3D?

That's what I'm showing you.

Check it out,
this is the camera, look at it.

No, I'm sorry... right lens,
left lens.

Just like in reality.

I mean, how does that even
make sense in the story?

Why would your character film
in 3D?

Why wouldn't he film in 3D?

Well, because in the premise
of Spectre Of Death..

Spectre Of Death 3D.

That's very good, okay,
in the premise of the film,

it's a vacation video.

So, who shoots their
vacation videos in 3D?

I don't know...
Japanese people?

He's probably accurate.

No, okay, whatever,
my character is now a filmmaker.

I'm not a documentarian.
I shoot everything in 3D,

I'm a 3D enthusiast.

That's not a thing.
It is now.

Look at this.

Ah, that's pretty cool.

The monitor's in 3D too,
look at this, mark.

Look, watch.

What?

Do somethin'.

That's terrific.

Because not only are we
shooting the first ever

found footage horror movie in 3D.

We are also shooting the first ever

behind the scenes documentary...
also in 3D.

How much did you spend on this thing?

Doesn't matter.
We can return it.

Do you have enough batteries
for this thing?

Dude, quit pissing in the pool,

and just get into it already.

Look at that, you're hanging
onto a goldmine right there.

It's beautiful, don't get me wrong.

This is a very impressive gimmick.

I wish you would've told
me about this sooner.

I wish I had thought of it sooner.

I still vote for the pedophile priest.

We're not doing the pedophile priest

Ahh.

It's like I can touch you.

I feel like, you know,, it's...

Alright, so apparently we're shooting

the first ever found footage
horror film in 3D,

and I've got about 12 hours

to figure out how this thing works,

and to rearrange my whole plan

for how I'm gonna shoot it...
in 3D.

Hey Carl.

3D.

That has absolutely
no effect on sound.

Derek?

Yo.

It's gettin' a little late.

Yeah, it is.

Well, we still don't
have our lead actress.

Yeah, no shit, tell me somethin' new.

Do you want me to call her?

Do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

What does that even mean?

I'll call her.

Can you? Thank you.

It's just gonna be a little tough

to do the film without her.

It's gonna be a lot tough

to do the film with her,
trust me.

Derek and Amy,
I've worked with several times.

The last time we worked together

was probably about six months ago

on the indiegogo campaign.

Right around the time
that their marriage

was finally, um...

How do I put it delicately?

It's appropriate that we
are filming a horror movie.

Andrew, hi, sorry I'm late.

No worries, you're fine,
you're here.

Can we get you anything?
You want water?

You want something to eat?

No, I'm okay.
I'm sorry, I'm just late.

You're fine, no worries.

What's this? The behind the scenes?

A little bit, yeah.

Yeah.

What?

Mark!

Hi! Is that you?

Oh, it's so good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

How's it goin'?

Good.

Andrew.

Okay, so are you excited to
be here?

Yes, yeah, it feels
really good to be here.

I'm excited to be working
with Derek again,

and Andrew's a wonderful director,

and just glad to be
on a feature again.

I've been doing a lot of..

Hold on, sorry,
I need to adjust your mic.

I wasn't really expecting

to be doing this right now anyway.

I'm not really made up.

It's fine, you look fine.

You look...

You look b-b-...

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Can I ask you a question?

Mmm-hmm.

Did Derek say anything to
you about me, or us at all?

I'm just trying to piece out why

he asked me to still do this.

After everything, it just
seemed a little strange.

And I don't know, I thought
maybe... you guys are close,

and he said something.

Did he?
Nope.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Here we go! En route!

Is he sleeping?

Yeah.

Lily, do you have the forks?
The forks?

Don't.

Awe, leg cramp, oh god.

Here director.
Hey.

How long till we actually make
it to the actual location?

About an hour and a half.

Where did you find this place anyway?

Amy's family owns it.

Her uncle or somethin' built
it during the depression.

She's asleep.

Very funny, Derek, hilarious.

Is this good?

Yeah.

Okay.

So basically,
just talk about how you

became involved with
the Spectre Of Death.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I met Derek at
a party last week,

and he asked me if I wanted
to come help out on the film,

and told me that it was
gonna be a horror film,

and I absolutely love horror films,

so I couldn't pass it up.

And yeah, I don't really
know what I'm doing,

but I'm learning a lot,

so that's really really cool.

I've done YouTube stuff,

but I don't think that counts,

and this is like lights, and every..

check this shit out. There's a couple of
old dudes back there sittin on the porch

straight out of fuckin' deliverance.

Get the camera.
For the behind the scenes?

No, we're gonna shoot em'.
We're gonna shoot the movie.

Wait, really?
Yeah, yeah, dude go.

You've got nothin' to lose..
they're not actors.

It's gonna awesome, dude.
Wait'll you see these guys.

Get the camera.
Alright.

So, this is how this is gonna happen.

I'm gonna call action,

and then Derek here
is going to ask you

for directions to a farm nearby,

and we need you to tell us
to stay away from the farm.

It's a bad place and bad
things happen.

Just tell us to stay away.

Sound good?

Yeah.
Is this candid camera?

No, no Sir,

that show hasn't been
around for a long time.

We just want that ominous
dark feeling like,

"Oh, we're goin' into a
bad place, stay away."

Right, sound good?
Yeah, okay.

Alright, here we go,
we're gonna give this a shot.

And action.

Hey, we're lookin',
do you guys know

how to get to like the old
Buford Farm out there?

Yeah I do, you go down this
way to the y,

and you take a left..

Cut, cut!

Okay, thank you.

So... we need you to tell
us to stay away from there.

You don't really want the directions.

That's right, that's right.

We want it to be like a warning.

We say, "How do you get there?"

And you're like,
"You stay away from there."

Yeah, I got you now.

Alrighty, we still slated,
speed, and... action.

Good afternoon.
Yeah, howdy.

Do you guys know how to get
out to the..

You don't wanna go out there,
it's scar..

Cut, cut!

I'm sorry, he just needs to be
able to get the question out.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, alright,
so we'll take this again.

All set, and action.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon.

Do you know how to get,

we're trying to find old man
Buford's Place,

I think, that's out there?

Yeah, I know how to find it.

It's out there.

And you don't wanna go out there.

Woooooo!
Why not?

Why not go out there?
I'll tell you why not...

Bad things happen out there.

Yeah, bad things.

Alrighty, and cut.

Thank you guys.

That is what we like to call awesome.

Thank you gentlemen.

That was fantastic.

You guys are amazing.
One in a million.

Happy to help.
Thank you guys.

Thank you.
Sign the release form.

What kind of movie did you
say this was?

It's a horror film.

Oh really, and one of them,
what do they call them?

Torture porns? Like Saw?

No, it's a ghost story.

Yeah, it's found footage.

And you're filming here in Gonzales?

A little ways away.

It's an old place off of
Route 12.

You're not talking about
old Rufus Mitchell's Place

up there on the lake, are you?

Yeah, I guess, I think so.

No, no, no.

You don't go to that place.

No.

Okay, thank you.

Have a great day.

That was weird.

Wait a second,
are you saying that the place

we're actually going to is haunted?

No, it's not actually haunted.

Stories, what stories?

Okay, so then it is haunted.

I mean... that's how a
haunted place gets..

No, it's just like old family

superstition bullshit or whatever.

Everything you're saying
makes it sound worse.

I'm just saying, you know,
you've got young people

who have never been on a movie set,

and you're bringing them out...

You don't bring a film
crew to a haunted house

to film a horror movie.

Have you not seen, like...
Every horror movie ever?

Dude, it's just old local kid
scary stories

that they try to spook
themselves with.

Kids? Those are the oldest kids
I've ever seen in my life.

Those were not kids
telling us a story.

The fucking cast of Cocoon is
freaked out

by this place, right?
So it's just not cool

is all I'm saying, because you
know, she's freaked out now,

and it's just not cool to do that.

That's it.

Not cool.

Yep.

This is us?

This is us, I believe.

Mark, you're getting all this, yeah?

Oh shit, there it is.

Holy shit.

Are you serious?

Oh, it looks so cool.

Holy shit.

Wow.

You first.

Whoa.

This is crazy!

Wow, this is great.

Nope.

Nothing?

We have status zero on the
electricity at the moment.

Look at this old piano.

Oh my god, no way.

Whoo!

That's cool.

No, I don't think so.

Wow, it's just like somebody...
left it.

Ugh, look at this fridge.

Oh god, oh.

It smells bad.

That smells horrible.

Oh shit.

Wow.

Amy, well done.

What's that?

Hmm?

What's that?

What's what?

What is that?

Oh Jesus.

Maybe it's just, they spilled something?

That's disturbing.

It's not a spill.

Whoa, we got light.

Found the breaker!

What, the chair?

No no no.

No, the stain.

What? I mean, it's an old place.

It's gonna have some stains
and stuff.

Nothing.

There's a bunch of weird
stuff around, look,

there's water stains there.

Carl?

Hey Carl?

Carl?

What? What?

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

Shh. Listen.

What the fuck is that?

I don't know, but where's your
sound gear?

It's moving.

Whatever it is, it's fucking moving.

Moving?

What are you guys doing?

Shh.

What are you doing?

Shh, listen.

What's goin' on?

Some creepy fuckin' sounds is
what's goin' on.

That's fine, shit,
it's country noises,

just go back to sleep.

That was not a fuckin'
country noise!

No, no it wasn't.

What are you doing, Andrew?

Hey, what are you doin'?

It's fine, don't worry about it.

You don't go investigate!

Have fun out there.

Mark.

Shh, you guys aren't seriously

going out there are you?

Yeah, I guess he wants me to film

our last moments for posterity.

Stay close.

Fuck, fuck!

What?

Was that a deer?
It was a deer, dude.

Awe man.

Dude, Jesus,
what the fuck was that?

Awe fuck, man.

What was that?

Hello?!

Andrew?

Okay, okay, okay, shh, shh.

Jesus.

Oh no.

Oh come on, fuck.

Oh come on, man, come on.

What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?

Aww!

Shit!

What the fuck? Derek?

Ow. Damnit.

Oh fuck, you broke it.

We broke it?

Yeah, look at it.

Jesus Christ.

Did you guys hear those creepy sounds?

That's very cute,

that's very cute.

Hey, don't tell anybody else, okay?

This is our little creepy
secret, alright?

I just wanna set the
vibe for the shoot.

Get the tone right, okay?

That's terrific, cute.

Hey, the first scare is
always a false scare, right?.

Did that come out

It sure did.

A little maple syrup stain.

Hi mark.

My arm's about to fall off.

It doesn't feel heavy at first,
does it, but then...?

Uh-uh.

There it is.

Okay, good, you guys getting
the editing bay set up?

These are so gross.

Jesus!

So, basically, the script was
written by myself and Derek.

Uh..
What?

Nope, nothin', nevermind.

No, what?

No, it's just, I mean,
you came up with

the back story for your character.

I wrote several finished scenes.

You tweaked some of what
I had already written.

Can we not do this on camera please?

Anyway, so yes,
we play a husband and wife

who come out to this
cabin in central Texas

that she inherited
from her Great Uncle..

and my character is a
documentarian, a 3D enthusiast,

and I work too hard so my
wife resents me for it,

and with our relationship on
the verge of disintegrating

we come out here to reconnect.

But of course, they find more
than they bargained for.

Really, the way I see it,

it's as much about the deterioration

of their relationship as
it is about anything,

you know, supernatural.

The ghost, or the monster,

whatever you wanna call it,
is a metaphor, although,

there are rumors that the
house is actually haunted.

Haunted by what?

So, apparently, the previous
owner of the house, who's..

my character's Great Uncle.

Yes, he murdered his wife,

and then dumped the body in
the lake behind the cabin.

So, there's a hint that maybe there's..

Wait, wait a second.

This is a true story, isn't it?

For real? Seriously guys,

you brought us to a
cabin that's haunted

in the middle of the woods

where a husband murdered his wife

to shoot a movie about a
husband murdering his wife

at a haunted cabin in the woods?

Yep, yep.

For reals?

Yeah.

Do you mind if we actually
do the interview, Carl?

Sure, no, go ahead.

Pull up your pants.

Seriously, though... am I
being a big wuss about all this?

Um...

I actually believe in all that stuff.

I've seen a ghost.

For real?
Yeah.

When I was a little kid.

Right hand to god.

That's something you don't
ever really forget, you know?

And what is this by the way?

Are we suddenly a British production?

The Spectre Of Death.

Are we gonna see this
movie in the the-atre?

Yeah, it's terrifying actually.

I was reading it at night,

which is a big mistake, and yeah,

I had nightmares,
really really awful nightmares.

So I guess it's doing what
it's supposed to be doing.

Because we want them
to establish morning,

so I think the natural
light works here.

I think this will be great.

Carl, does it work for you?

Hmm, the fridge is
gonna be a problem.

Why?

The hum. We'll have to
unplug it during shooting.

So, in every found footage film,

we have to answer two questions,

the first of which is
"Why are we filming?"

"What excuse do we have for having

a camera document everything?"

That's usually answered
pretty early in the movie,

usually the first scene,

which we're actually
about to do right now.

And the second question?

The second question
is exactly the same

as the first question
but for the third act.

It's usually "Why the fuck
haven't you put the camera down,

and run the hell away?"

If you answer that one wrong,

the whole third act just
completely falls apart.

So, can you give us a preview
to the answer?

Actually no, not at the moment.

Why not?

There's no ending.

It actually stops dead on page 71

in the middle of a scene.

I don't know if he has
an ending in mind,

you know, if he's just
trying to keep it secret

like they do in the
big tentpole movies,

the ones that people actually
give a shit about seeing.

Yeah, no, we don't have
an ending right now,

but that's okay.

I mean, hey, worked on
apocalypse now, right?

What?

Really?

Coppola?
Yeah.

You're comparing yourself to Coppola?

He doesn't have an ending.

It's great, no, it's good,
it's good.

I don't mind, I do, well, hmm.

Oh, oh, yeah,
that makes sense now.

I'm gonna do it like this
so you can see my profile.

Here we go, Spectre Of Death,

we're about to shoot the very
first scene of our movie.

Scene one, take one.

Action!

That's good, right?

Oh, she loves it.

This woman loves cleaning,

she can't stop cleaning.

Thank you Derek,
for bringing me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

Thank you Derek for bringing
me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

You're welcome, anytime.

Babe?

Yes.

You promised you weren't
going to bring

that stupid camera.

Whoopsy.

We're supposed to be on vacation.

I know, we are on vacation though.

This is in fact our vacation video.

This is you, this is
the sink, this is us.

It has absolutely nothing to do

with that stupid ghost..

Sorry, wait, cut for a second.

Yeah, we dropped that.

What?

We don't have that.

Did you not get the changes?

No, what changes?

Lily gave you the pages
yesterday, no?

I left them on your sleeping bag.

Well, you don't just leave
a script laying around,

and hope that people see it.

I'm sorry.

You hand them to the actor personally.

Fair enough, that's okay,

we can solve it now, we have 'em.

I didn't wanna wake you up.

It's fine, it's fine.

Well, I didn't get them.

Can you just look over it
real fast?

Sure, sure, sure.

We are rebooting scene one.
We'll do a reboot,

and then take it from the top.

Hmm.

No, this is no good.

Okay, what's the matter?

Well, the writing sucks, for one.

Eh, Amy, what are you?

There's nothin' wrong with
the scene.

Well, I wrote the scene the way

that I wrote it for a reason.

Structurally, we need to
establish the

"Before" of their relationship..

I know, but we also need to show

that there's a little bit of conflict..

We need to show that we're in love.

I know, and in that
love there is conflict.

That is part of what's
gonna happen later.

Okay, well, you have us
screaming at each other

for two solid pages.

I don't have us screaming at
each other,

I just have us butting
heads a little bit.

A little bit?
We have exclamation points

at the end of every sentence.

Exclamation points are just emphasis

for the conflict that's coming.

It's the soul of drama, that's all.

The soul of drama?
That's super cute, Derek.

Did you get that out of one
of your

$12 Internet screening
writing courses?

You know, I don't exactly
need to take a course

to write a scene where you
act like a total bitch, do I?

Guys, guys, guys.
Hmm, this is typical,

this is so typical, Derek James.

You can't even pretend to be
in love with me, can you?

Well, I did it for four years.

You gonna cry now?

Yeah, okay, I did it,
I stepped on a landmine,

here come the crocodile tears.
Everybody give her attention.

How could you even say that
to me?

Oh what, now it's all my
fuckin' fault.

Is this the same bullshit we
go to?

D-D-Derek.

Du-du-du! If you got
somethin' to say mark,

why don't you spit
it the fuck out?!

No?

Okay, let's all take a deep
breath, it's hot.

Let's just cool off here.

Amy, it's a few small changes.

If you could just look
it over real fast,

and just, we'll give you two minutes.

You know what, fuck it.

Nevermind, we will shoot it
her way.

Alright, are you sure?

Yes, I am absolutely positive.

Okay.

My wife says we are in love,
we are in love.

Three, two, one, action.

Hey sweetheart, see my new camera?

You are in 3D.

Reach for the camera,
do it like this, whoo.

Day one.

It's been awhile since I've
been on a set like this.

What do you mean?

Well, normally, I work on bigger,

more professional productions.

I turned down a Ben Affleck
movie to be here.

Really?

Mmm-hmm, really.

Why?

Well, Derek helped me out a
few years ago

financially when I needed that,

and I'm returning the favor, so...

Plus, I fuckin' hate Ben Affleck.

There's a definite short hand,
I think,

when you're working with
someone so closely

that you know so well.

There's a chemistry and a history

that sort of lends itself
to the script, I think.

Are you worried about all the fighting

you're going to have to
do later on in the shoot?

No, no, absolutely not.

We're both professionals.

This is acting, it's just pretending.

Okay, thank you,
I think we got it.

Great.

Ah, Mr. Mark here.

Mark, do you ever put that
thing down?

Yes.

Do you?

Yeah, I do. To sleep.

There's peanut butter jelly sandwich,

peanut butter jelly sandwich,
I wanted to die.

Peanut butter's good.

Yeah, have it fuckin' 35 times
in two weeks.

I have it for breakfast every morning.

Okay, are you a peasant?

Running for their lives
from whatever it is,

not just start beating
whatever is chasing

them to death with the camera.

It's like war journalists,

they stay there while
the bombs are going off,

while bullets are flying over
their head,

and they keep filming,

they keep filming in the moment.

Why don't they just run?

Because they gotta keep filming.

Yeah, they're also well paid.

Why do we keep watching?

Why do we keep watching?

And between the two mediums,
found footage,

and you know, war, in both scenarios,

it's fucked up, but in both scenarios

I know a majority of them
aren't coming home.

I know that those guys very
well might die in the war,

and we know that everyone's
dying in found footage.

Okay...

Hey, Spectre Of Death fans.

I don't have Wi-Fi or Internet,

so I won't be able to upload
this anytime soon.

Maybe when we go into town.

But I just wanted to document
something a little weird

that I found in some of
the footage from today.

I'm not making this up,
this is real,

it's not part of the movie,

at least not as far as I know.

I did it, I stepped on the land mine,

here come the crocodile tears.

There.

See that?

It's sort of in the...

I don't know maybe it's nothing,

but I definitely don't
remember anything or anyone

being there this afternoon
when we were shooting.

Plus.. and this is the
weirdest part..

whatever it is..

again?

Jesus, Derek. Give it a rest.

I guess that was a real animal
that time

because Derek's still in his
sleeping bag in the other...

O-Kay...

That's super weird.

Guys, please be careful of snakes.

Snakes?

Mark's how's this all showing
up lighting wise?

This is good, right?

Yeah, the lighting's great.

In the trees, you know,
boom boom boom boom.

Oh yeah, that's great.

Yeah, you see that?

So, she's like, "Fuck you!"

Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.

Spectre flashes.

Okay, okay.

So, today we have the first
appearance of the Spectre.

Which is?

The villain of the movie,
the ghost, or entity,

or whatever that inhabits the cabin.

How do you plan on doing the Spectre?

Well, I wanted to do
it as a practical effect

because I think..

a guy in a Spectre Suit
would look retarded.

Yes, well bad CG will
look more retarded.

Who says it's gonna be bad CG?

We can't afford good CG.

We'll find out.

I'm sorry, I kicked it in the river.

You kicked it in the river?

I didn't mean to kick it in
the river,

it just fell in the river.

It fell in the river when
I was trying to get lunch.

So, we don't have a map?
We don't have a map,

we're a little bit lost right now,

but it can't be that hard..

I'll just lead the way, don't worry.

You can't lead the way if you
don't know

where you're going.
Oh my god!

How was that?

Um...

What would you say the Spectre is?

I don't know,
and I don't think I wanna know.

I mean, I have my ideas.

I think everybody's gonna have
their ideas,

but I kind of hope that they
don't wrap it up neatly.

I would say that the
Spectre is probably

the fictional couple's
own negative energy

that's physically manifested,

like maybe their relationship dysfunction

is so big and horrible
for everyone around them

that it has actually
ripped open a hole

to the Gateway Of Hell.

So I think if we put it here...

What do you think?

Absolutely, yeah, because
we wanna be able to have

people come through the door,
and the fridge will block that,

and I think that's good.

The only problem here is that
I think

this is where the whole 3D
part kind of

falls apart a little bit.

What do you mean the
3D thing falls apart?

Well, when the audience is
watching the

surveillance footage it's
not gonna make sense

to them if it's not in 3D.

Yeah, but why wouldn't it be
in 3D?

What do you mean it's not in 3D?

Well, I mean, that won't make sense.

What won't make sense?

There's no such thing as
a 3D surveillance camera.

We don't know that.

No, I do, I looked it up.

Okay, well, there should be.

Agreed, but there's not.

Okay, you know what,
do you have two GoPros?

I have several.

Great, take two, stick em' together,

left eye, right eye, stereo,
3D, boom,

that's your problem solved.

I mean, I get it,
I just think you're

missing the point a little bit.

What I think you're doing
is pissing in the pool again,

don't over think it.

Audiences, stupid, you,
making it happen, 3D.

Okay, fair enough,
I'll give it a shot.

This might actually work.

It's a ridiculous idea,

but it might actually work.

Sweet.

Just talk about what makes shooting

a found footage movie
different from shooting..

a real movie?

Basically, the task in
a found footage movie

is to take really good sound,

and make it sound as
shitty as possible.

And just job well done on that.

I mean, that's the thing right,

with found footage you don't
need to worry about

lights, and grips,
and all that crap.

You can just go out in the
woods, shoot the movie,

and it's brilliant because
you get away with it,

and it makes you look
like the genius.

Oh, we're just running
around with a camera,

we don't know what we're doing,

and so it's like, "Well,
the light's crap,

"And the sound's crap."

Be like, "Exactly, but guess
who's paying for it? Boom."

We shouldn't use that one.

It is different, definitely,

but I think ultimately
all acting is about

finding the truth in the moment.

Whether that's improving
for a found footage film

or belting out a Broadway musical,
I..

Okay, let's take that again.

Oh, okay, yeah, sure.

Whenever you're ready.

Yes, it is different
I will say that..

Hey guys, we're doing an interview.

Awesome, keep it up.

You know what, sweetheart,

why don't we just do
this another time.

Yeah, sure.

So, Amy and I come in,
she's talking about her uncle,

though she's being cagey and evasive,

not telling me the whole story,

then she hints at the ominous
back story of it.

We get to like right over there,

I think right where Lily is,

and that's when the shovel falls,

almost hits Amy in the head.

Audience jumps out of their seat.

Nice.

I love it when things do that.

Like a cat? Is it a "Pop Scare"?

It's called a Jump Scare!

It's called a Jump Scare,

and I think it's probably one
of the most

over used cliches in horror movies.

That's why we're using it.

You might as well just have a cat.

We don't have a fuckin' cat,
we have a shovel.

No, I think it's lazy filmmaking,

Andrew, I think you would agree.

It's bad writing done by hacks

who can't even write a script

that unsettles on a deeper level.

You know what, actually,
it's meant to appease

audience members who are just
too stupid to know better.

Okay.

I don't think it's worth it.

We need to have some kind of

moment where it snaps.

That's not really,
that's not a fair thing

for you to say to me, okay.
I mean, what did I ever..

Jesus! Shit, oh my god!

Lily? Lily?
Oh my god, Lily?

Is she okay?
No, no, don't.

Lily are you okay?
Hey, answer Lily.

Do you hear us?
Do you hear us?

Okay, okay.

No, no, don't move your head around.

Don't move your head around.

Listen, who am I?
Who am I?

It's okay, it's just a little blood,

don't worry about it.

She's bleeding.

Hey, how many fingers do I
have up?

Two.

Okay, what's your name?
Lily.

Okay, what's my name?
Carl.

Do you know where you are?

Yeah.

Okay, look, let's get you up slow.

Sit up real slow, okay,
how's your neck?

Here, go real slow,
let me hold your neck for you.

Oh Jesus.

Okay, you dizzy?

No, you're not dizzy?

Okay, okay,
put your arm around me, come on.

Give me your other arm.

That's good.

I hope she's okay.

Derek, I don't care, if she
needs to go to the hospital..

I would take her.

Are you..

Lily, hey Lil.

Look at you, hey, should we
take you to the hospital?

Lily, be honest.

I'll take you,
we'll jump in the car right now

if you need to go.
No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Yeah?

She's...

You're a big trooper?

Alright, there we go.

She's fine,
it's just a bump on the head.

You sure you okay?

You're okay?
I mean, do you have a headache?

Why don't you get some water?

Huh?

Why don't you get some water?

Okay.

Please.

I don't know, I just,
I hope she's okay.

She seems like a really nice girl.

That was definitely weird.

Not just me freakin'
out about nothing.

That was, you know.

These things do happen.

I mean, you talk to any
of the big directors,

you know, you watch their
director's cuts like,

shit happens people get hurt,

they get banged up.

The important thing is she's okay,

and we can keep moving forward.

And, you know, not over react.

That's terrible.
It's true though.

It's just I don't know if it's
worth us stopping the flow

of the story for a full minute

while you deliver the third
act exposition.

I'm not stopping the flow of
the story,

I'm telling them what's happening.

We're letting the audience
know what's happened,

so they're not confused when
they leave the theater.

I was hoping for something

a little bit more ambiguous,

let them have something
to talk about..

they're gonna be talking
about how great the movie is,

not oh my god, I don't know
what the hell just happened.

We should be letting them
decide for themselves

what the Spectre is instead
of telling them.

Blair Witch.

People are gonna think we
don't know

what it is if we don't tell them.

"They don't even know their
own movie."

If we leave it vague,

we can add to the mythology
of it.

We can build on it in a sequel.

Charge them another ten bucks?

Sure.

Thirteen bucks, 3D.
3D, that's right.

Imax. 15, fuck it, go big.
Exactly.

Alright, I get it.

Yes, okay, I will bring it in,

make it a little more vague.

Okay, just do it quickly, Derek,

we have very little time left.

Oh, okay, thank you.

You still awake too?

Yeah, just cutting together

some footage for the Facebook page.

Mmm-hmm.

Please don't.

No, come on.

It's only fair...
Watching the watcher.

Nice, it's very... meta.

So Mark, how are you?

You working on anything?

No, just this.

I think you should make
another short.

We should make a short,
you and me.

Uh, mmm, yeah.

Okay, well don't sound so enthusiastic.

No, no, no, that's not..

Sweetheart, I'm teasing, I know.

It beats working with Derek, anyway.

I mean, I don't know, I think,

I know there's been
a lot of friction,

but I don't know, maybe
there's something more.

I think Derek and I are finally

understanding each other a
little bit.

Well, we still don't have our
lead actress.

What's this?

Turn it up.
That's nothing.

No, turn it up, turn it up.

Amy.

No, come on, what is it?

I wanna see it.

Please.

Do you want me to call her?

Do whatever the fuck you wanna do.

What does that even mean?

I'll call her.

Can you? Thank you.

It's just gonna be a little tough

to do the film without her.

It's gonna be a lot tough

to do the film with her,
trust me.

Should have my head examined

for casting her in the first place.

Is that it?

Amy.

Is that all he said?

I don't think that this is something...

Just play it.

Amy.

Play it.

Mark, play it.

Just make sure you erase that
file, okay.

Yes, when I dump the cards.

Alright.

So, why did you anyway?

Why did I what?

Cast Amy.

Because I'm a fuckin' idiot.

I signed a contract before we
were separated,

and no thank you,
I do not want another lawsuit.

So, you're not trying to get

back together with her?

No, sweet Jesus Christ,

I am not trying to get back together.

Speaking of Satan Incarnate.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

I don't know why I'm surprised.

I mean, I'm being an idiot right?

It's over.

Is it?

What?

What?

I...

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Nevermind, I probably
don't wanna know anyway.

Good night.

You are a fucking liar.
I am not a liar, Amy!

I live in the truth.

It's you that makes up shit..

excuse me, if you could
keep it in your pants

we would not even be here!

Oh really, you know why
I can't keep my pants,

it's because you are
such a frigid bitch

that I have no fuckin' place..
Fuck you!

Oh my god, I'm so sorry,
are you okay?

I'm so sorry, oh my god.

Amy, what are you fuckin' doing?

I'm sorry..

Guys, guys, do it again,
take it again.

I know we got the fuckin' take.

Amy, we're right in the
middle of the scene!

Do you not know how to
commit to the moment?

Take it again.
No, I can't do this right now.

No, Amy please, use this
to fuel your emotions.

Yes, definitely,
actually acting, you know.

Derek, Derek..

Mark, shut the fuck up!

Oh my god, listen, you guys,
thank you all

for your help and suggestions,

but please keep your opinions
to yourself

unless you are asked, okay.

Thank you, alright, fine,
let's go again.

No, I can't do this right now,
I just..

oh come on Amy,
will you grow the fuck up?

This is the problem every god
damn time!

It's an emotional fucking
roller coaster

because you are not willing
to do it you fucking cunt!

Every time we..

Fuck!

You okay?

Andrew, what...?

What just, what the fuck happened?

I don't know, I have no idea.

Did you arm the gag?

No, no, no,
I turned it off before we,

right when we said cut.

I think I did.

I mean, why the fuck is it?

No, dude it's...

It's not even fucking plugged in.

What do you mean it's not
plugged in? It just went off.

It has to be fucking
plugged in, it just...

Well then, how did it fucking..

I don't know, I don't know.

It's off and I unplugged it.

Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.

Where's Amy?

Seriously, that was fuckin' creepy.

Seriously.

It was a malfunction, it happens.

What? No...

You cannot say it was
a malfunction now

because you just told us
that there was no way

in hell it was a fuckin' malfunction.

Well, clearly it happened,

so let's please just make sure

it doesn't happen again, alright.

At the same time Amy lost her shit.

You think that's a coincidence
that it fuckin' happened.

It wasn't a ghost if that's
what you're saying,

I mean, I don't know man,
maybe the sound

of her voice triggered the wiring.

Right, the sound of her voice.

What do you want me to say?

The house is haunted,
we're all gonna die.

I just want you to admit
that it was fuckin' creepy.

Creepy?

Creepy.
Yeah.

Yes, it was very fuckin' creepy.

Thank you.

Shit, fuckin' again, Derek?

I'm never gonna sleep normal.

That is Amy.
Yeah, yeah.

Kill it, kill it.

Motherfucker.

Son of a bitch, he's raping her!

He is not.

Why the fuck did you stop?

Asshole, fuck you.

Fuck you!

Let's go. Come on.

Mark, come on.

Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hey.

Good morning, everybody.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I mean, should I smear,
or should I just pat?

Just dab it on a little bit.

Does that hurt when I touch?

No, it's fine.

It's too dark?

Hmm. Should we try this one?

Sure, try that one.

This may not even work.

We'll just write it into the script.

Amy?

Babe, are you out here?

Amy?

Amy!?

Oh shit.

Amy.

Amy?

Babe?

Shit, oh god. Baby, I think
you're sleepwalking again.

Oh shit,
what happened to your face?

You must've hit something.

Your eye's all banged up, here,
come inside.

Oh yeah.

See that?

It's good.

It's good, it'll work.

Alright.

You're amazing, you know that?

You're gonna scare everybody.

Listen...

I know that it's been a stressful
couple days out here.

It's been a little bit trying

with the conditions as they are,

and we don't wanna get caught
up in the blame game

pointing fingers because we are
all in this together, okay?

So, in the interest of keeping
that collegial spirit

I say that we all get cleaned up,

and head out onto the road,
Route 4,

there's a little bar there,

and let's go get ourselves
sloppy drunk.

On my dime.
Alright, what do you say?

I'll be in the Van.

I'm gonna hit my head!

You're only gonna hit your
head if you do it wrong.

Look out, look out, look out!

Oh!

I've already hit it before.

Mark, come on!
Put the camera down for once.

Come have a drink, have some fun.

Derek James, bitch!

Yes yes yes.

No thanks.

Mark, as director, you're
giving me the camera.

Give me the camera.

To the man behind the camera!

To the man behind the scenes.

And to all of you for an amazing

week and a half of shooting.

Well, I have some rather big news

to share with everyone at the table.

The illustrious and very
influential Scott Weinberg

is coming to do a story on
the film.

Scott Weinberg from Fearnet?

This film? Our film?
Our film.

How in the hell did you swing that?

Oh, I have my ways.
He's a swinger.

You lied to him...

No, no, I told him the
god's honest truth, I swear.

Well, maybe not all of it.

The last time he said
that I got herpes.

What was that?

It's gonna be a long day,

I'm just warning you.

No, that's okay, I don't mind,
but I think that...

If you're talking about production

in that kind of way then it's..

no, you made me miss! Derek!

Carl, you saw it, it was there..

That didn't last very long now,
did it?

What the fuck is this?

What the fuck?

Oh my god, oh no.

Did we get robbed?

Oh my god.

Animals?

I don't know,
it tore everything up.

Something must've got in.

Look at my gear, man!

What the fuck!?

Awe, it's just like somebody fuckin'

just trashed everything.

Everything's here.

What the fuck is that?

Ugh.

What is this?

Somebody must have broken in.

Should we call the cops?

We don't have cell service

how the fuck are we
gonna call the cops?

There's nobody out here.

Nobody comes out.

Is anything missing?

I don't know.

No, nothing of mine is missing

from what I can tell.

I don't know.

This is your bullshit, right?

No, it's not my fuckin'
bullshit man.

Of course not.

Of course not, of course not!

Why would it be my bullshit?

Why is none of your stuff
even touched?

I was at the bar
the same as you!

I don't know why that's..

it's coincidence, just
like all the other

crazy fuckin' shit, right!?

I'm out of here tomorrow, I can't..

Oh great, oh yeah,
who are you kidding man?

You've been looking for an
excuse ever since day one.

That's because you took us
to a fuckin' haunted house!

Oh my god.

All this fuckin' weird
shit has been happening

ever since we fuckin' got here!

Since day one.
You had the crazy shit

with the dishes, with that!

Fuckin' Lily almost died!

And now all my shit
is covered in slime!

God knows what the fuck is
out there

making all those creepy
noises at night.

Hey, shut up, Andrew.

Hey, what did you say?

No no Andrew, don't shut up, what?

Nothing, nevermind, nevermind.

Okay, okay, so yeah,
that was you, great.

Fine, you know...
good luck with your movie.

I'm gonna go tomorrow,
and you know, god bless you.

Have fun. Well, you know what!

Good luck with your
Ben Affleck movie

when you don't have
your fuckin' gear!

What are you...
I own your gear Carl!

You gave me a fuckin' loan.

Right, and you didn't
pay that loan back,

so if you read the small
print in your contract

you would know that I
own your fuckin' gear,

and maybe you should wake
up and open your eyes

next time. That gear is mine.

You're a fuckin' asshole, man.

Yeah, I'm a fuckin' asshole?
Yeah.

You're a fucking asshole!

Guys, let's just all go to sleep,
shall we?

Where is he gonna go?

Mark, are you kidding me.

I told you not to film that stuff.

Sorry.

Mark!
Just turn it the fuck off dude.

Yeah.

He's a big boy.

He didn't have a car is the
only thing.

I know, I know.

Maybe he hitchhiked,
maybe he called a friend.

I'm sure he's halfway
to El Paso by now. I...

It sucks, it really fuckin' sucks.

Well, this part is on.

He always had these on too.

Do they each go on individually?

No, he would hit a button,
is it this?

Oh, okay!

Look at that, you're a natural.

Lily Pad, the sound woman.

Alright, well shit,
how hard can it be?

You just gotta hit record,

and point the microphone
at whoever's talkin'.

Yeah.

Good Amy, you ran, okay.

No, no, it's gotta be on her shoulder.

No, why would it be on her shoulder?

It's bouncing all over
the god damn place,

you can't even watch it.
That'll look too planned.

No one who's running for their life

will ever worry about getting..

are you personally gonna
go into the theater,

and clean up all the puke because

that's what's gonna happen
if you show it like that.

Especially in 3D, it's
gonna be barf city.

I don't even understand
why she's still

holding the fuckin' camera.
Why hasn't she thrown it away?

Because the movie would be over

if she puts the camera down!

Fine, well,
we need to come up with

a halfway decent excuse as to
why she's still recording.

She needs the light.

No, why is she still recording?

The light doesn't work
if she's not recording.

Yes it does.

That audience doesn't know that.

Yes they do!

Oh, thank you, oh I wondered!

The queen has spoken!

Now we know, oh good!

How about you Mark!

Do you have something
you wanna add to this?

Christ, I don't know what
everybody here started to think

this was some sort of democracy,

but we're doing it my way,
end of discussion!

I'm fuckin' sick of this!

Alright, Amy get the camera.

We're putting it on your shoulder,

and it's going to be stable there.

Carl, roll sound!

Let's go!

Action.

Honestly, why did your
brother even hire me?

I don't even understand
at this point.

He obviously wants to direct
the fuckin' thing himself.

I mean, what is the point

of making the first 3D
found footage horror movie

if it's just gonna suck?

If it's just...

Yeah, tensions are high on
any set,

but art, good art,

is never easy, and so yeah,

the long days do wear on you,

but I wouldn't trade my job
for any job in the world.

Ok, thanks.

That was total horse shit.

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

What what what?!

Oh shit, shit, shit, shit.

What the fuck happened?

She's bleeding, she's bleeding!

Derek, Derek, Derek.

Awe fuck!

What the hell happened?

Sorry, I don't know, I don't know.

Did an animal get her?

I don't know, god damn it.

Are you bleeding anywhere else?

I don't know!

It's okay, put pressure on,
put pressure on.

Amy, we're taking you to the hospital.

Yeah, oh my god!

Amy, Amy, Amy, it's okay.

Andrew!

Yeah?

Get her ID.

Got it!

Take your time, take your time.

Take it slow. You alright?

Jesus Christ,
you're just giving her

the negative attention she's after.

What is that supposed to mean?

Why do you think people cut themselves?

She didn't cut herself.

Right.

And she's never done it before either.

Kid, you do not know my wife nearly

as well as you think you do.

Do you ever sleep?

Again?

What are you watching this time?

An interview with my mother about

what a massive disappointment
i turned out to be?

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I should have never let you..

It's fine, I'm sorry I said that.

How's your arm?

It's okay.

The doc gave me some pretty
bad ass pain killers,

so I think I'll be fine.

What's that?

Make it bigger.

Did you film us sleeping?

No.

Mark, that's super creepy.

No, this wasn't me.

Somebody must have taken my camera.

There, see?

Oh my god, this is last night.

Do you think Derek did this?

I don't know.

I don't know, but this shit
is not funny anymore.

Okay, then it must've been Lily.

Right?

Or you.

It's not me.

It's not.

It's not me, Mark.

Who else could it be?

I don't know!

What?

Oh my god.

Who is doing this?

Why is someone filming me?

What the fuck?

Oh my god!

What is that?

That's that mirror back there.

He doesn't have a camera!
How is he.. Holy fuck!

What?!

Wave your arm again,
wave your arm again!

Turn it off,
just turn this shit off.

Turn it off, Mark!

It won't stop, it won't stop!

Shh, shh, shh.

Do you hear that?

I think it's saying something.

What the fuck?
What's going on?

I don't know.
It just came..

What the fuck?
Jesus Christ, are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.
It just flew at me.

Mark, are you okay?
What going on?

We were watching some weird
footage and..

You guys are screaming.

It just flew at me, just now.
It came in the room.

Amy, it's okay.

Amy, Amy, Amy, calm down.

Okay, Mark, what's happening?

We were watching some footage
from last night,

but I didn't take it..
Just show them.

You're watching new footage?

No it was something else..

Just show them! Please.

Okay. Here here here.

We were watching this interview,

and then it...

What are we watching?

It was right here.

Where'd it go?

Mark, where'd it go?

I don't know.

Just show them!

Just show them,
we just saw the video!

It cut my arm!

What cut your arm?

It just came in here,
in the room, and it flew.

What came in here in the room, Amy?

I don't know, I don't know,
it was big, it was black.

Amy please, Mark, Mark?

Was there anything in the room.

No, nothing..

You saw it!
You just saw it!

It was just in here.

No.

Yes, it just came at me!

Come on, it's on the camera,
just show them, please.

Amy, calm down!

It just flew..

Turn the camera off.

I'm not turning anything off.

Turn the fuckin' camera off!

I'm not talking about that Harpie

with the fuckin' camera on!

Don't!

Don't call her that.

Look, I will call her whatever
the fuck I want to.

She's my wife.

Okay? Mine, not yours, my wife!

Oh yeah, you think that's
fuckin' funny?

You know what, go home,
you're fired.

Good.

Go home Mark!
I am.

And I'm taking Amy with me.

No, she stays.

She stays,
she's got two more days of filming,

we got Weinberg coming tomorrow,
she stays!

No, she doesn't.

I'm taking her away.

You're the big man?

You think she needs
you to protect her?

That whore can take
care of herself, Mark.

She's got you wrapped
around her little finger,

but let me tell you something,

she is not who you think she is,

she's the fuckin' Devil!

Right, oh yeah, you want that!

There's my tough guy,
huh, you little shit?!

You like that?!

She's fuckin' bat shit, Mark.

You watched the tape,
there's nothin' there,

she's fuckin' crazy!

Fuck off. I know what I saw!

Something really fucked up
going on here,

and I don't know of you're
behind it or not or what, but...

I'm taking Amy away from
here before she gets hurt.

Oh.

Alright.

Look at Mr. Finally Grew-A-Pair.

Okay.

Just, ask her.

Ask her to choose between
you and her film career.

If she wants to go, you can go.

Good riddance to both of you.

Wouldn't hold your breath though.

Please, don't.

Please.

I'm gonna record everything,
okay, to protect you.

You're gonna need a better
excuse than that.

What?

To keep the camera running in
the third act, you're gonna...

We'll have to come up with something.

Please, just don't point at
me like an interview, then.

I told Derek we were leaving.

I'm gonna stay.

Amy.

Amy..
I have to.

Why?

I just do.

I just have to.

Okay.

Then I'm staying too.

No.

Yes.

I'm not leaving you here
by yourself, I'm not.

No, please.

You have to go.

Your brother is right,
I'm bad news,

and I don't deserve your help.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not.

I'm not going anywhere.

We got wheels guys, we got wheels.

Alright, game face time.

You got this Mark?

Let's go everybody!

Scott Weinberg, here we go!

How you doin'?
Scott, good to meet you.

Andrew Reed, nice to meet you.

Everybody, the legendary
Scott Weinberg!

Here on set!
Scott, and you are?

Lily.
Lily, great.

Really good to meet you.

How was the ride in, alright?

It was long, it was good..
bumpy, right?

Is this an off day, or...?

Heck no, we're just
about to get shootin'.

We've got everything
set up in there.

So, this is your crew?

Yeah, this is my crew.
Oh okay.

You think this is
high-budget Hollywood

in terms of how decrepit,
and dusty..

did you add the cobwebs?

Or did they come with this?

A little of Column A,
a little of Column B.

Four people making a feature film?

We had a little bit of
a bigger crew originally,

but things,
I just I think we just decided

to thin it out a bit.

You decided you didn't need props,
set, design, makeup..

Well, I mean,
look at what we got. This is...

Yeah, you can't fake this.

This is the real deal.

Would you like to see some of what

we've been working on actually?

Okay.

I think then you'll get a
better sense

of what we're trying to do here.

You out here?

Amy?

Amy.

Christ!

Hmm, let's do those interviews
why don't we.

Great, great, yes, perfect.

I'm so glad you came out,
thank you.

Yeah, thank you for inviting me.

What's with the eye?

What happened?
It's makeup.

Really!
Mmm-hmm.

That is impressive, and that too?

Of course.

Why don't you tell me what
you're shooting tonight

because I'm excited
to see you on set.

Mmm-hmm, well, this is
kind of the peak of drama,

I don't wanna give away the plot,

but you know, the marriage
between Derek and Amy

is sort of crumbling
and falling apart,

and this is a moment of recompense.

See, that's amazing that
you guys can pull that off

because you're clearly
crazy in love, you know.

It comes across if you can
play that you hate each other,

that's good acting.
Yes.

Yeah, I think that works
better than an argument,

we see the scene, and then
I turn into the demon,

and I kill you.

That's just a bit of
an abrupt ending, no?

Well, it's the nature of the genre.

I understand that,
but it's just so..

Wait a minute, why does my
character have to die at all?

No, of course you die, that's silly.

Why? Why can't I escape?

Well, because that's what
makes it "Found footage".

It's the one hard and fast
rule of found footage

is that everybody dies.

Otherwise Derek, it's just...
footage.

Yeah, no,
I'm not sure because I think

it might be more original if
I got away.

Look, everybody dies..

I'm all for originality,

but that doesn't make sense,
you both die,

so she's right.

Okay, if we just change a few things..

What we could do is...
I need to live.

Okay, whatever, that's good,

just figure it out
by tonight because

we're running out of script
by tomorrow, so.

I knew it man.

I knew this was gonna happen,

I knew it was gonna fuckin' happen,

and I didn't listen
and here I am,

and I'm sorry,
I know it's your brother,

but what fuckin' year does
he think it is, 2005?

I mean, fuck, this genre has
had two halfway decent films,

two halfway decent films,

one of which was 15 fuckin'
years ago.

And every other found
footage film since then

has been complete bullshit.

I mean, why people waste
their fuckin' money

on this vomit-inducing
amateur-hour bullshit

is fuckin' beyond me, and yet,

here I am trying to make
something halfway decent,

a halfway decent found
footage horror film

that's different than
every other asshole

who's got a fuckin' iPhone,

and every fuckin' step of the way,

your fuckin' brother
cock blocks me! Fuck!

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Please delete that.

Umm, I...

No, fuck it, I don't care.

Alright, so this is it.

We are about to shoot
the climax of the movie,

and if you look carefully
over there,

you will see, boom, hey,
Scott Weinberg from Fearnet,

who's joining us on
the set here today.

I should warn you that he
has been sworn to secrecy

about what he sees here today.

We told him that if
he spills the beans,

the Spectre will tear his
face off.

So, if you want to
find out how it ends,

you'll have to come see it in theatres.

We'll see you there.

I am Derek James signing off.

Let's shoot.

Alright, scene 50, take two.

I'm sorry.

I am too.

I just, umm...

I don't know, I thought
coming out here

would fix us, somehow.

It's just been really hard.

I know.

I thought so too.

And I didn't realize how
hard this was gonna be.

I've missed you.

I love you.

I love you too.

Why don't you turn the camera off,

and come to bed.

Okay.

The fuck?

Amy, no!!

Derek! Derek! No!

You okay, Lily?

Yeah, I'm okay.

What the fuck was that?

Mark, Mark, oh my god your feet!

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

What the..?

So, is this a joke?

What?

You guys are trying to get
me into the film because..

Ahh! Fuck!

Oh shit!

Scott?

Jesus Christ, oh my god, Scott?

Scott?

Mark!

Ah, fuck!

Ahh!

Lily?
Mark, Mark, Mark.

It's okay, it's okay,
it's just me, it's okay.

What the hell is happening?

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

She killed him, Mark.
She killed him.

Oh my god.

What are you doing?

I'm cranking up the iso so I
can see better.

Why do you still have the
stupid thing?

Just put it down!

I think it's the only way you
can see it.

What are you talking about,
see what?

Did you see what happened to Andrew?

His chest exploded.

Yeah, but you didn't see the smoke?

The Demon? The Specter?
Whatever it is.

What the hell are you talking about?

It was there,
I could see it on the camera,

but when it came out of the cabin,

I couldn't see it with my eyes.

What?

And last night,
Amy could see it too,

but I couldn't because she was
looking through the camera.

Jesus, are you sure?

I think it's making us film it.

I think it wants us to
keep the camera rolling.

Are you saying that this
thing is alive or something?

Oh my god.

Shh, Lily.

Just turn the light on!

No, I can't,
it'll draw it right to us.

Then what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I think we need to try
and make it to the Van.

No, no, no, no, no,
I'm not going back there.

Lily, we have to.
These woods go for miles.

I don't care, I can't go back there.

Okay, okay, stay here,
you stay here,

I'll go to the Van, and
I'll come back for you.

No, Mark, wait!

I'll come back.

Okay, okay, okay, Mark, I'm coming.

Lily? Lily, what happened,
are you okay?

Mark, turn on the light.

Shh.

Mark, turn on the light, please!

Turn on the light Mark!

Oh god!

Lily, be quiet.

Mark! Mark, it's Carl!

Lily please, shh.

Help.

Somebody.

Please help me.

Amy?

Amy!

Mark?
Andrew? Is that you?

Amy!

Hello, oh!
I can hear someone honking.

Please, you have to come find me.

I'm in the woods somewhere,
I don't know.

The camera, I have the other camera.

Oh, go back inside,
find the other wireless mic.

I think I'll be able to hear
you through the camera.

Please, please,
honk twice if you can hear me.

Oh, thank god.

Okay, I'm turning on the camera.

I don't know what happened.

The last thing I remember was
that thing

just coming at me in the room,

and then I just, I woke up,
I'm in the woods,

and I'm just covered in blood.

Where the fuck?

I think I know where I am!

I think I'm by the lake.

I'm gonna try to get back to
the cabin.

Fuck, where is it!?

Where is it?

Oh shit.

Derek.

No, no.

Okay.

Here we go.

Okay.

Come on, come on, work, fuck.

Oh god, Mark, I'm lost again.

I don't know where I am.

God, where am I?

Scott?

Scott?

Scott?

Oh, oh, I see the house!!

I see the house!

Okay, okay.

Amy?

Amy, can you hear me?

Mark?

Amy?

Amy.

Mark, is that you?

Yeah.

Oh my god, Mark!

I can hear you, oh my god.

Are you okay?

Oh, I don't know, I don't know.

I am so scared.

It's okay, it's okay,
everything's gonna be okay.

What the hell is going on?

Let's just find each other, okay?

Okay, okay.

Where are you?

I don't know.

I think I'm in front of
the house, somewhere.

Okay, good.

I just saw lights.

Meet me at the Van, okay?

Okay.

Where are you?

I don't see you.

I'm at the edge of the woods.

Straight ahead.

Where?

I can see you.

I see your camera light.

Can you see me now?

Is that you?

Yeah.

Yes.

It's me, I'm here.

Okay, stay there,
I'm gonna come get you.

Alright.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Amy!

Amy!! No!!

Amy, no, no.

Come on, get up, we gotta go.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Get up, get up, get inside.

Alright, let's go.

You're gonna be okay,
everything's gonna be okay.

Okay? Okay?

Okay, okay, okay.

Amy?

Don't do that.

Amy, please, please don't.

Please don't, Amy!

Amy, no, no.

Amy?

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no.

God damnit, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no!

Mark.

Mark.

Oh my god, Amy, are you okay?

I don't think so.

I can't get the car started again,

I don't know what to do.

It doesn't matter.

What do you mean?

It doesn't matter anymore.

I need you to do something.

No, I have to get you out of here,

I have to get you help.

Get the camera.

What?

Get the camera.

Amy.

Do it.

Point it at me.

How do I look?

You look beautiful.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.

I wanted him dead.

I know.

He deserved it.

For everything he
put you through.

And you...

Thank you.

For what?

For coming back for me.

Of course I came back for you.

Of course I came back.

I wish you hadn't.

Why?

I hoped you would remember
the rule.

What?

The one rule of found footage movies.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.