Forbidden City Cop (1996) - full transcript

On a full moon night.

On the roof top of the Forbidden City.

A sword from the west.

Flying fairy.

You Fa Moon-lau and me, Luk Siu Fung...

would be so glad to watch the duel
of 2 great swordsmen.

Yes.

Sai Mun Tsui-suet & Yip Koo-shing's swords
haven't been shown yet,

but we can smell it.

This sword is made by finest steel,

its length is 3 feet 3 inches,
weight 6 catties and 4 taels.



This sword is very sharp.

Its length is 3 feet 7 inches,
weight 7 catties & 1 3 taels.

Sai Mun Tsui-suet,

do you have confidence to face my stance?

Mr. Yip, I'm ready.

Fly...

Flying...

Fa...

Fairy!

Who are you?

How dare you fight on the roof top
of the Emperor's house?

Tell me your name.

I'm Yip Koo-shing,
Master of the White Cloud Castle.

Yip Koo-ching?



And...

I'm a cool swordsman, Sai Mun Tsui-suet.

And me, Fa Moon-lau, the Blind Superman.

And me, a lovely hero with 4 eye-brows.

Luk Siu-fung!

What?

Luk Siu-fung?

Lovely hero?

You know you're bothering 2 great swordsmen
to have their duel?

Who are you?

Secret Agent Ling Ling Fat.

I'm responsible to protect His Majesty...

and his properties.

Listen,

you old folks!

You are charged of breach of close.

You're charged of illegal gathering, too.

And haven't behaved yourselves in public area.

Hey, don't call us old folks!

Great swordsmen may not always be handsome.

Handsome heroes are just the expectations. . .

of ordinary people.

Yes.

Heroes will have bald head too.

But not as ugly as your are!

Please give us a chance!

This is a precious secret scroll of Kung-fu.

Take it.

Uncuff us at once.

You want to exchange your freedam
with such poor book?

Stop dreaming.

Haven't you heard of my name?

Of course not! You're not that famous.

Get lost.

Young man, better give us face.

I'm Sai. . .

I don't care.

I won't give you face, anyway.

Bastard! You'd respect the blind.

Since you're blind, don't climb up!

Or, you'll fall to death, old man.

You've gone too far! Once I attack
with my Wonder Fingers...

Wonder Finger? I have one too.

Got it?

Better learn it.

All of you, on the floor,
put your hands on your heads,

you're now under arrest.

I think you'll be put to jail not less
than 1 0 years.

I won't let you go this time.

What a shame!

Pals, let's forget this ignorant guy.

Let's choose another day for the fight.

So powerful!

Members of the Secret Agent.

Ling Ling Kung.

Ling Ling Hei.

Ling Ling Fat.

Ling Ling Choi.

We'll be your Majesty's loyal servants forever.

Iron Clothe!

It breaks.

Yes. . .

Great!

Unbreakable Armor.

Five Shapes Fists.

Dragon

Snake

Tiger

Panther

Crane.

Bravo!

What's up?

These 2 stones are found in the very North.

There are 2 sides, with amazing power.

If positive side face the positive side,
they'll reject each other.

They can't stick together.

If the positve side faces the negative side,
they'll stick together.

Very amazing!

It's a great discovery.

I'd like to devote it to you.

What's the use of it?

Girls,

you need not sway the fan so hardly from now on.

That two aren't attractive, how about this?

Put these 2 leaves together,

and move it with great speed.

So a strong wind will be created.

If the weather is hot,

this new product would be wonderful!

Is Your Majesty interested...

in being a sole agent of my product?

Your Majesty, I've not given
my subordinates good guidance.

I'd be blamed!

Ling Ling Fat, behave yourself.

I've got a way to defeat your Iron Clothe.

Fat-yan.

I'm coming.

I've discovered that,

if I put carbon,
Nitre and sulphur in a small space,

say, inside one's mouth.

And, one tiny steel ball is put in.

When an explosion is happened inside,

solid becomes gas form,
and the expansion create great power.

So the steel ball will be pushed out.

The power is so great
that it can break stone and metal.

Iron clothe will become a mess.

What did you say?

Great! Come here.

Fat-yan, are you ready?

The only demerit of this weapon is. . .

High temperature will be caused.

So Fat-yan's mouth must be under series
of special training

say, eat hot dumplings. . .

as training step no. one.

Or, drink very hot soup.

Now, Fat-yan's mouth can
stand temperature of 1 00 Celsius.

I tell you,

he can eat hot shark-fin soup faster
than anyone else,

so, he can eat much more than us.

But. . .

Kids should not learn this.

Make it or not?

It's almost successful.

I feel that my mouth has had gone.

No, it becomes bigger only.

How big is it?

Very big, don't worry.

It's almost done!

Give me some time to amend it,

I think I can...

Shut up!

Please don't get angry.

Fat, what are you doing?

Some inventions.

I am asking you, what are you doing?

Just some inventions.

Say! What're you doing?

Tell us now.

What the hell are you doing?

- What're you doing?
- Say!

I just want to make new inventions.

Come up! I want you to come up and tell me.

Hurry up...

I'm coming soon.

If your post wasn't herited,

I would have fired you!

Now, get lost!

I let you cover yourself by acting as a doctor.

But he chose to be a gynecologist!

What a shame!

You seldom practise Kung-fu.

I don't know what you're doing at all.

He didn't come for a meeting last night.

Where were you last night?

I caught thieves on the roof top.

What thieves?

I caught Yip Koo-shing,
Sai Mun Tsui-suet and Luk Siu-fung.

Although they escaped,

I got a secret scroll of Kung-fu instead.

What's that?

A stance named "Flying Fairy".

Have you practised?

Yes, I did a bit.

Show me now.

This is called "Flying Fairy".

He is fooling you, Your Majesty.

Come up? Now! Come up.

I'm coming...

Hurry up...

Right away.

Coming.

Come up!

Coming...

I tell you.

I don't want to see you again.

Get lost!

Secret agent...

Great!

Doctor, I. . .

Let me give you some medicine?

Wait,

let me tell you my symptoms first.

You have to take medicine anyway,

right?

Take the medicine.

Pay now.

Show her to the door.

Doctor, I've come a long way here.

Please listen to me first.

Come on, please!

I'll let you say anything you like...

on your way home.

Next.

Doctor, I'm sick.

Let me give you some medicine.

My hands and legs are cold, I feel dizzy too.

Sometimes when I stand up after a squat,

I'll feel dizzy.

Well, no medicine is needed.

Go home and prepare for your funeral.

Are you kidding me? Isn't it...

because of woman's period?

Or hormone changed after delivery?

What make you think so?

Well, you can tell it...

from the color of tongue.

Well, how to cure you then?

It's simple.

Use 1/2 tael of Tin Nam Sing, 0. 1 5 tael of Lily.

0.2 tael of To Chow Sing, 0.08 tael
of Si Kwan Chi, one teal of Ha Fu Tsoi.

Plus winter flower, cook with light fire.

Here they are, boil with eight bowls of water.

Drink it, then you'll recover soon.

Thank you, doctor.

Show doctor to the door.

Ne...

Next?

Doctor, my heart aches!

Let me give you some medicine.

My nasty husband has a concubine.

He always beats me up!

I've suffered enough!

Although a rude man brings extra excitement.

I couldn't stand any more!

Doctor, are you rude?

It depends.

Sometimes, I can be rude.

Alright, my husband fools around,
I want to have a secret affair too.

Come on!

Let me see how rude are you!

Honey!

What's the matter, honey?

This lady...

she wants my help.

You know, I am a kind-hearted doctor.

She comes a long way here, just give her a hand.

Miss, are you tired?

Do you want some noodle?

I am fine!

Honey, am I a good husband?

I have arrived, that's why you behaved!

If I am not present,
will you accept the temptation?

I swear!

I will!

You bastard!

Once again,

- will you take the temptation! Tell me.
- Yes.

Great.

I am not afraid of it! You nuts!

I will not play with you if you bite!

Alright.

I surrender! I surrender!

Hands off!

No! Or you will jump over!

I won't! I surrender!

My hand breaks! Honey, hands off me please.

It really breaks!

Sorry, hubby.

You woman!

You are really good at Kung-fu.

Master is so pleased!

I won't feel unhappy.

- What?
- Do you know. . .

what's in my mind?

I have present for you.

Remember you cut the onion few days ago,

you chopped and chopped. . .

At last, you cut your finger.

Now, I will give you this hand.

So, you can use your own hand to catch this hand.

And use this hand to hold the onion.

Even you cut your hand, it'll be a fake hand.

Your own hand won't be hurt!

How can you make it?

Thank you, hubby!

Alright.

Honey!

Alright.

Honey!

You said, it's tough to clean the floor.

Yes.

Take this pair of shoes.

After wearing it,

your legs will help you a lot.
See, your legs will become groom & dust pan.

And you can clean the floor while you are walking.

Open your mouth.

Put all the rubbish inside your mouth.

No!

Wait.

How do you feel?

Hubby, I think you are a great inventor.

What else?

And...

I love you very much!

So. . .

Let's sleep.

But I want to try this!

No, try this.

It's rat!

This time, I'll use rat's movement
to release power.

And it will push the wheel to increase the power,

then, it's powerful enough to move this!

It can support weight over 200 catties.

How about the steam machine we used last time?

It's good, but when it is dried,

it will stop at once.

Isn't this better?

You are right.

But, something is missing.

And this is the greatest breakthrough
I've ever made.

Now, we can choose different grade of speed
for different needs.

Look!

Honey, am I wonderful?

You are so cheap!

Sure!

Honey, what does that "Rear" mean?

That's backward!

Let me try.

No!

Does it work?

Sure, I cook with this super turning shovel.

Not even a drop of oil can dirty me.

Sure,

but I mean the air system machine!

That machine?

Show me once.

It works,

this is effective.

And you can take this as practice.

Yeah, it's good to health.

- Hubby.
- Honey.

Hubby.

I'll let you play.

Great.

The one who is like a ghost has arrived.

What's wrong with you?

Doctor. . .

Just between you and me!

It's enough for you to disguise as woman.

It's not necessary for you to talk like a woman!

Being a member of the Forbidden City Cops,

I should try my very best to cover my identity.

Better be careful.

Doctor. . .

Am I pregnant?

Yes, eat this for abortion.

What else do you want to say?

Fat-yan said. . .

Don't talk like a woman.

Fat-yan said. . .

Lie down, don't let me see your face.

There is an important mission for you,

go back to the Headquarters.

Better say earlier!

Fat, be smart.

This important mission is counted on you.

We have had banquets in the headquarters
in these nights,

if you can't clean all the dishes tonight,

you will be put to jail.

Here comes His Majesty.

I've got a message that,
inside the territory of Gum Kingdom,

Something mysterious happened last month,

that is a creature called "Flying Fairy"
fell down from heaven.

Thus, they called a meeting
for all famous doctors in our country.

In order to dissect the Flying Fairy.

Dissect Flying Fairy?

Under the great leadership of Your Majesty,

how come such ridiculous thing happens?

I am sure this is the trick of the cheaters.

Do you still want to go?

Only the fool will be cheated!

I do want to take a look.

You know it is ridiculous,

but Your Majesty still want to face it,

you are so brave, so courageous!

Only under the leadership of such brave...

and smart emperor,

our country will be prosperous and stable.

Long life to Your Majesty.

The people of Gum Kingdom are always cunning,
it may be a trap.

If you go, it may be dangerous.

Forget it.

If you don't finish washing these dishes,
you'll be more dangerous.

But I have duty to remind Your Majesty.

Long life to Your Majesty.

Bravo.

Kung Hei Choi, you will protect me.

we will set out tomorrow.

Yes.

Long life Your Majesty.

Fat, cut the crap,

His Majesty doesn't want to hear your voice.

If you say anything nonsense,
your head will be chopped off.

Wash the dishes...

Thank God, you are saved!

You wash my dishes.

There must be conspiracy!

China is stable and prosperous.

The beautiful women are specially beautiful.

The handsome men are specially handsome.

I do hope that our flag of Gum Sect,

will be found on their soil.

The Chinese soldiers are poor in health.

The dissection of Flying Fairy
is to gather the Chinese doctors,

then, we will launch an attack
to the Chinese troops.

Since they have no doctors,

our troops can march from the North to South
with ease.

It'll be a piece of cake for us
to conquer China.

You bastard, you look like a dummy,

especially when you smile!

I don't know why you are so dummy looking!

Stop it!

I am like a dummy whenever I see you.

When I see daddy, I seem to be more foolish!

Don't you like my look?

Your dad ruined his face,

because of practising "No Face's Stance"!

- A 2.
- A 2.

- I four.
- I four.

Got it?

Bingo.

- D 4 and 7.
- D 4 and 7.

- H 2 5.
- H 2 5.

Got it?

- Two Six.
- Two Six.

Try Two Five again.

Two Five.

Go back to 2 6.

2 & 6.

- Got it?
- Yes.

Where do you feel itchy?

C 1 3 4 6 8 plus D 1 .

And, A 2, E 4.

Got it?

You are so stupid! You won't make it like this!

I am stupid, that's why you look smart.

Please don't say I am smart.

But your inventions are really wonderful.

Who said so?

I said it.

What's your name?

Lau.

Who are you?

I am your wife.

- Shit!
- Shit!

Come on, don't scold me.

You scolded me first.

You are the only one who praises me,
but what's the use of it?

I don't care!

I think you are really great.

You are great, that's why I praise you!

Don't you understand my words?

What do you want to say?

Don't you know it?

I have had a difficult job.

But you will never know it.

I don't know how hard your job is.

But I believe that you are doing something good.

Just scold whoever offended you.

But never blame me as scapegoat.

Since you are familiar with me.

That's why I should be blamed?

I tell you!

Yes.

So, you...

You can blame me instead? Yeah!

So what? Why not leave home?

How do you know I am hiding under the table?

You always hide under the table.

That's why. . .

I know you must be hiding under the table.

Please use your brain to think!

Think a new place to hide!

So, I will have new excitement.

But if I don't hide under the table,

I am afraid you can't find me.

I can't stand it any more.

Please don't! I beg you!

Honey, please don't do it again.

I am a woman only, but you always scold me,

I am afraid I can't tolerate it any more.

If you can't tolerate it, just leave me.

I am going to bath.

I ask you to leave me alone!

Are you hungry?

I will do you some noodle.

Sorry, it's my fault.

I lose my mind.

Forget it.

But why do you lose your temper?

There is an important medical meeting held
in Gum Kingdom.

But I am not qualified to join it.

Who said so?

I said, you are qualified.

I don't mind others disqualifying me.

According to what you said,

I can go now!

Stop!

What's the matter?

Some woodmen appear in such remote place,

be careful of trick!

Who are you?

We're woodmen.

Don't block my way.

I am the Emperor.

Get lost!

Don't disclose our identities on the way.

I don't. . .

want others to know I am the Emperor.

Got it?

Yes, Your Majesty.

Let's go.

The leading guy is having long and soft breath.

He must be a Kung-fu master who is good
at Air Stance.

The one with whip is having stable steps.

He must be a great Kung-fu fighter.

And the one, with strong arms.

He must be a great Kung-fu fighter too.

I think they must be
the famous Forbidden City Cops.

Iron Clothe, Unbreakable Armor
and Five Shapes Fists.

Three Forbidden City Cops are all here,

the one inside the sedan chair
must be the emperor.

We do want to arrest some stupid doctors.

God knows, here comes a king!

How lucky are we. . .

to have such good chance!

So what?

Protect me.

It's great.

So disgusting!

The participants can go into the hall now.

Honey, the meeting is going to start.

Let's go.

I can't miss this chance!

First, cut the belly.

Tear its skin.

Pull the intestines out.

Then, its shit spitted out...

So exciting!

Honey, there are new clothes for sale,

I am going to buy some.

How to meet you later?

After the meeting, just go there to look for me.

Alright.

Don't wander off.

Invitation card?

Invitation card.

This kind of invitation card.

Please let me go, I am a doctor too.

Are you a doctor?

Yes, I am a famous doctor.

Alright, go in.

Thank you, buddy.

He doesn't know he is dying!

What?

Doctor.

Doctor. . .

Doctor.

I've discovered that,

I can make a medicine with plolycodonis and honey.

This liquor is best for chain smokers.

It cures sore throat.

You will get rich!

I've discovered a new kind of plant.

After eating it, you will laugh and cry,

the natives call this grass.

You will get rich too.

You can tell it's drug which harm people.

Better keep it yourself.

Don't take too much!

You are right.

Do you have any now?

Give me some.

Later...

This doctor... I haven't seen you before.

Your hat is so interesting!

Where do you work?

I am a gynecologist in the capital.

To treat women?

You are rich!

Ladies and gentlemen.

How are you.

Welcome here to watch. . .

the dissection of the Flying Fairy.

This is a very precious chance.

Now, this is solely shown to you.

Where is His Majesty?

In order to let you see clearly.

In five consecutive nights, we will repeat,
repeat and repeat. . .

to show you the process of the dissection.

To let you...

see it clearly.

And, we have invited the farmers

who discovered it to this meeting.

Let me now interview. . .

someone who witnessed the discovery
of the fairy first,

that's a dog.

Its eye is so big.

Will it be clearer?

Where is its wing? How can it fly then?

It's really weird!

Kidding! It is small or less the same as me.

Right, as ugly as you.

What are you doing?

I am checking its sex.

It must be a girl.

It is a girl.

I know she is pregnant.

What are you doing?

I am checking it's a man or a womam.

Don't mess up!

Any gynecologist here?

He is.

Move, move now.

Why not give her some medicine?

Do you know dissection?

I know.

Take this cutter and start working.

I won't give it a damn.

But, may I use this?

Don't move.

Do you know how to dissect?

Cut from the throat,
let the blood drain out first.

I know it already.

Come on.

In fact, I am not a doctor.

I am a butcher.

You coward, you needn't find excuse.

Let me do it.

Have you fixed yet?

Good question, I've just fixed it.

Wait.

What's up?

His Majesty!

I know it's you!

Who chopped me?

Someone chopped you?

That's him!

But that is his sword.

You bastard!

I want to chop you twice.

What's wrong?

Why do you hold the sword?

Stay calm.

Yes! There is conspiracy!

Conspiracy?

Your Majesty.

I, Ling Ling Fat will protect you.

My sword is sucked away, so powerful.

Come on, one for each one.

No, that's mine.

Wait.

Don't despise us.

We earn our living by holding swords too.

Don't get angry, drink some water first.

All dead!

What kind of monster is it?

Try my Lo Chiu's Sword Stance.

I wanna kill you!

This is my sword!

Let's attack from both sides.

So great!

Stop!

Are you kidding?

Why do you always beat me?

Boss.

Your feet betrayed you.

Don't you think I am a fool?

Hurry. . .

Watch me!

I know, same sex will reject each other.

Fat, how are you?

This magnet is really great.

Shit!

Different sex attracts each other.

Are you kidding?

Yeah!

Fat, you are really something.

Thank you, Your Majesty, we'd better leave.

Let's go!

Leave now.

Honey.

Your wife has come too.

Introduce her to me.

Go back first, here is so dangerous.

Why there is one living?

Is there any accident happened to my son?

Where is my wife!

Search! Many people are lying on the floor!

Cut the crap, kill him.

No matter where you are hidding,
you have to be killed.

Kill him.

What the hell is it?

Kidding?

Hubby.

Same costume! Why?

Honey.

Hubby.

Where have you been?

I met a friend who lives in the next village,

There is a crazy sale in next village,
so I went for shopping with her.

What are you doing here?

I am. . . looking for you.

Is there a fire?

We have had barbecue here.

Barbecue?

Yes, roast chicken wings.

Why do they lie on the floor?

They are full, it's nice to have a rest.

What's wrong with you?

You ate with violence, didn't you?

What the hell is it?

All people fought for one chicken wing!

I fought with all my might, that's the result.

Don't you think I am nuts?

You...

Honey.

You...

Where do you get this?

This?

If you like it, just take it.

I don't mean it,

and I don't want to take your advantage.

If I want it,

I will ask my husband to buy me one.

He is damn rich.

I want to tell you that, this doesn't match you.

The color is no good.

You have a big belly,

this kind of clothes doesn't fit you.

We may have a look in the shops
of the nearby village.

Let's go, let's have a look.

My wife.

She has fashion sense.

Yes, she is nice.

Brother Fat.

Hubby, you have laughed since you are back.

What make you feel so happy?

This morning, I saw a fat woman fall
into water ditch.

A fat woman fell into water ditch?
What is so funny?

Fat woman!

Water ditch!

Honey.

In all these years. . .

Listen to me.

Go ahead.

We have had poor living.

Don't you mind it?

It depends on you.

If you don't mind eating the food I cooked,

I don't mind too.

In all these years,

other than great inventions,

I haven't sent anything, say diamond to you.

Why don't you complain against me?

Sure. I have complaints.

That super groom.

I have to clean the floor with two legs.

My hands are free.

So, I have to clean the window with one hand,

another hand to wash clothes.

It's so troublesome!

You've discovered that!

Yeah...

And your air system.

What's wrong?

I don't want to waste time to complain,
it drives me crazy.

Sure it will.

What diamond have you hidden?

Take it out now.

Honey.

How are you?

Did you rob?

No, I didn't.

I cured a man who is damn rich.

He paid much money as medical fee.

That's why I bought it to you.

Honey!

Don't come over, forget about me.

Are you alright?

I am too happy, I can't control myself.

So pretty.

I love you, honey.

I love you too.

Forever.

Fat,

I heard that in the biggest prostitute in town,

there is a new girl called Gum Tso
who came from Gum Kingdom.

Her name is so beautiful! It fancies me!

Go and check her background.

If she is OK, take her to me.

Are you kidding, Your Majesty?

How can you let me carry such nice mission?

You are the fellow I trust most, you know?

And, everyone knows you are a good husband.

You won't take my woman.

So, you are the appropriate person
to take this job.

May I be frank,

Your Majesty, you have many concubines already.

Why do you still want an affair?

- You...
- The beauties have arrived.

Now, you understand?

Sure!

Your Majesty, please tolerate.

I...

I will fix it as soon as possible.

Get lost.

Take enough money if you want to join our club.

Damn it, I've fooled around for years.

I haven't experienced such embarrassing moment.

Let's ask someone to ruin this place.

Shut up.

Damn it!

I am the procuress.

Granny, do you want to sell your daughter to us?

Let me take a look at her first.

She is beautiful.

Look.

So?

I want to beat someone up.

Can I slap her heavily?

Don't be so mean,

you have to give others face anyway.

You want to beat me,

I do want to hit you hardly with rod too.

Damn it, how can you talk to me in this way?

The girls here are all as pretty as angels.

Especially the girls from Gum Kingdom.

You won't believe it.

ig eyes, tall nose, little mouth.

Ask them to come out for a comparison.

She is...

much more beautiful than you!

Get lost now!

Or, I will slap you! I mean it.

She is coming out.

The beauty from Gum Kingdom is coming out.

So sex appealing!

Miss.

May I?

What's up?

You stand here without making a noise!

Don't you know dancing, or don't you know talking?

I don't know you.

I am Gum Tso.

Fat, so many women around!

Fat...

Honey!

Hubby, you are back!

Hubby,

I've made a clothe for my birthday party.

Isn't it pretty.

It's good looking!

I invite many relatives
and friends to have dinner with us!

Remember to come home earlier!

Remember?

Hubby, I can smell fragrance from your body.

Wonderful nose you have!

I bought you cosmetics!

Why do you buy me cosmetics?

For your birthday!

Good boy!

Have a bath first!

Alright, let's bath together!

I have bathed. Go bathing now.

Better bath again.

You go alone.

I am the procuress,

welcome to be our new member.

Seeing you...

I have something,

very, very...

Strange feeling that...

Say, you feel like slapping me.

Right...

Correct.

Is Miss Gum Tso here?

Sure!

I want to see her at once.

Do you want to see her?

They are wishing to see Miss Gum Tso too.

Line up, don't you think a handsome & smart guy...

need not line up?

How can you tell I am smart?

I can tell you are sincere,

and kind-hearted, too!

It's lucky to have a friend like you.

Shit! You can tell it too.

I have to treat you dinner!

Sure you have to.

Line up!

This bastard doesn't want to line up!

Miss Gum Tso, I've waited you for ages!

Stay calm. . .

Miss Gum Tso wishes to treat you a drink.

Take a glass over there.

Miss Gum Tso, a toast to you.

Good wine!

What a nice wine, it makes one lose his mind!

This must be an old wine...

of over 1 00 years old.

I believe that this is tribute
from foreign country.

Pal, isn't it so precious?

Are you exaggerating?

You are totally wrong!

You drink it without tasting it.

Even it isn't wine,

you can never tell its taste!

Wine is like woman,
you have to try it by some means.

Can anyone lend me his tongue?

Any longer one?

Right.

The taste buds are on the surface of our tongues.

Not under.

The sweet taste buds are in front.

The bitter taste buds are near the throat.

Don't make it too deep.

Alright, I'll place it in front.

The sour taste bud is on both sides of the tongue.

So, when we taste good wine,

roll the tongue,

you need more practice.

So, you can stop the wine meeting
the sour taste bud.

And let the wine floats between bitter
and sweet taste buds.

Sweet first, and then bitter...

Just like...

the sense of first love.

Congratulation, Gum Tso would like to meet you
in the sitting room.

Miss Gum Tso...

Don't be anxious.

Why don't you...

You seem to have sore throat.

Are you missing your wife?

How do you know that?

Chinese people usually have early marriage.

You seem to be mature and trustable.

I guess, you must have married for years.

You are flattering me.

You don't seem to be Chinese.

I come from Gum Kingdom.

Do you have racial discrimination?

No way, don't be silly.

Miss, you seem...

You are fat, and you are thin.

You are bored.

Give me a surprise.

Do you want any surprise?

Do you have any?

Don't despise me.

Take it out.

Do you want me to take it out?

Come on.

This is for you.

So pretty! Thank you.

You are really different!

Usually, when the girls see such precious pearl,

either they will scream,

or, some will die because of too much excitement.

You don't value material life at all,
you are really. . .

Really different!

Mister, do you have time to stay?

To have a long talk?

My wife has prepared dinner,
I don't think it's good for me to stay.

Why do you come then?

Even cats will be motivated by such atmosphere!

Do you know what the cat is talking?

That cat said,

"Don't bother me, mom will scold me".

Why do you hurt yourself?

It brings excitement!

So amazing!

There are many amazing things,
you haven't tried that before.

If you stay,

I will try my very best,

to make your all eyes.

I can't do that.

I am married, I love my wife.

Although I wish to do it,
I have to control myself.

Well, I won't give it a damn!

Come on. . .

A good husband is hard to find in the world.

Since you are thinking of your wife,

I won't push you.

- Send Mister to the door.
- Yes.

- Wait. . .
- Please leave.

No, I've just made up my mind. . .

Please go back.

So bad! I have halfly undressed!

Give me a chance!

Forget it, Mister.

Miss Gum Tso.

Hubby, what's wrong with you?

I haven't been that smart.

There isn't any rice in your bowl.

Hubby,

I've discovered that,
the cosmetic you sent me that night,

doesn't smell like those found from your body.

Didn't I tell you?

That's made by a thing called Magic Musk.

The smell will change according
to different timings.

At night, it stinks.

No, it doesn't stink.

It's coming.

On that day, you sent me a very big pearl,

I do want to show off tonight.

But I couldn't find it out at all.

Do you know where is it?

This is life.

If you want to find something anxiously,

you can never find it.

If you are smart, you need not find it,

cause it will show up later.

Father-in-law, have the chicken ass.

Great...

I remember.

Why did you go to the prostitute house
on that day?

Prostitute house?

Yes, prostitute house.

What did you say?

I saw him visiting hookers.

Listen to me.

Wait.

Don't lie to me.

I can tell it's true or not easily.

Hooker is woman, she will get sick.

As a gynecologist,

I went there for treatment.

It's nothing weird.

Daughter, is his heart beating fast?

No.

That's good.

Sorry, hubby.

You are too bad for you don't trust me at all.

It's fragrant! Can you smell it?

Miss, who are you looking for?

I come here to buy herb.

Do you have any chiretta
(means home coming in Chinese)?

Are you in urgent need? Come later.

I love a man very much.

He hasn't come to me for many days.

I come to buy chiretta
which means home coming in Chinese,

for I really want him to come back this night.

Miss, I suggest you to buy "Tu-wo"
(means living alone)

Living alone, don't bother others.

You have a kind of special smell, I smelt once!

Yes, this perfume is called "Hooking Soul".

Only I have this kind of special perfume in town.

It is an amazing perfume to seduce man, right?

But I can't hook the man I love.

No matter how hard I torture myself,

he just brushes me off and comes
here to have dinner with his wife.

So, I come here to see his wife.

Today is my daughter's birthday.

Don't mess up here.

You have seen what you want now.

So pretty.

Prettier than you.

Send her to the door.

Madam.

Today is your birthday!

I haven't any present.

But, why not take this little thing as my present?

Are you kidding?

Right, when you don't want to find it,

it will show up itself.

Are you kidding? You sent it to her?

This is your present to me,
how I can send it to others?

What is your relationship? Tell me.

By the way, it seems to be clear!

You bastard!

How can you treat my daughter like this?
Are you a man?

Granny, don't be angry.

Give me back the pearl.

Madam, don't be excited!

You bitch, I wanna kill you!

No.

If you hurt her, I will kill you.

If you hurt me, I will kill him.

None of my business, lady!

Stop her now.

Bitch!

Drop the horse down.

What did you say, honey?

Drop the horse.

You scared my friend.

You lied.

You said you would love me forever.

You lied too.

You said you were born in the year of rabbit,
but you were born in the year of tiger,

you are older than me.

You lied, you lied!

Drop the horse.

Don't throw me while I am not paying attention.

I can tell your trick.

Drop it, now!

Are you alright?

I am fine.

Sorry to ruin your party.

All because I wish to see you very much.

I am too bad, I am leaving.

I will go with you.

It's nonsense for me to stay
in such nonsense family.

Go.

Hubby.

Are you hungry? Let me cook noodle for you.

Wait.

What a shame!

Don't get angry, let's go back to my place.

I will do that with you.

That?

That's what you want.

You are inhumane!

Oh my God!

We have become a couple at last.

On this stormy night, we will enjoy ourselves!

You look cheap.

You haven't seen my cheaper look.

Alright, listen to me.

I have had hard feeling.

Your wife felt so sad.

For you, I can sacrifice my wife
as well as my life.

Don't say anything nonsense.

I don't want to cheat you,

I am a Forbidden City Cop,

my duty is to protect His Majesty.

I came here for His Majesty is fond of you.

He wants me to check your background.

You don't check me, you just want to screw me.

You are betraying His Majesty.

But I can't help loving you.

Forget about him!

Ling Ling Fat!

Your Majesty.

Luckily you have come on time.

Did you hear everything?

You!

If she didn't write to His Majesty,

we wouldn't have known that you. . .

betrayed His Majesty.

You...

In order to trap him,

I don't mind risking my virginity.

Your Majesty, if you come a bit late,

I don't know what will happen!

You...

Ling Ling Fat, your family
will have capital punishment, you know?

Your Majesty.

Catch him.

Your Majesty, why do you cuff me?

Your trap is really great!

You want me to break my family.

Then you make His Majesty kill me.

You will kidnap him to blackmail the government.

Then your troop will move from the North
to take over our country.

It seem to be a piece of cake.

Damn!

But, you remember the pearl...

which fancies all women in the world?

When you received that pearl,

you didn't feel excited, that's why I know,

you are not a woman.

Who is my foe?

And who will undergo
such fantastic plastic surgery?

Only a faceless old folk will do it.

King of no face, you bastard!

I hate others to cheat me by pretending as woman!

Especially disguising as such pretty woman
to seduce me!

Luckily Fat is so smart!
He disclosed your secret.

Your Majesty.

Don't move.

Don't trust him!

He wanted to screw me so he brushed his wife off,

and he even beated his wife up in front of me.

He isn't a man at all.

In order to trap you,

my family performed a show in front of you.

Dear audience.

The best actress.

In this play, she acted. . .

very well that,

no matter judging from her eyes, or movement,

she could express how a sad wife feels.

Especially when she threw the horse,

it shows. . .

a strong protest originated from post modernism.

Let us see how she threw the horse again.

Watch! Watch!

Mrs. Fat, congratulation...

Thank you.

First of all, I have to thank my parents.

Since they have been supporting me.

And I have to thank my husband.

He gave me chance to act.

We had rehearsed many many times.

So, this award is yours too.

Hubby, thank you.

Alright, let's present the final award
of this night.

I believe that, you can guess it. Right.

The best actor is. . .

At Fat's father-in-law.

Wonderful!

This award should go to me.

I did see him visiting the prostitute house!

Wait.

I am sorry.

I am the leading man!

You can tell I have done a great job.

Why do you present the award to him?

Your acting is quite good, but not mature.

Say, when your wife heard your heart beat,

your expression was a bit exaggerated.

That's the point of view of ordinary audiences!

You won't be that ignorant?

No, when I heard your heart beat,

I couldn't feel any response from you.

I felt that, you couldn't concentrate in acting.

You didn't act well indeed.

You...

Be fair.

Just one word.

You don't know acting.

Shut up! Gum Tso's sex is still
a doubtful question.

How can you present awards here?

It's a mess.

Your Majesty, I. . .

Be careful of your nostral hair.

I am a person who is willing to die for you.

Let me use my body,

to check whether Gum Tso is a woman or not.

Get lost.

Be careful!

Ling Ling Fat, you killed my son and wife.

Even I can't kill your family,

I want to kill you too.

Neither of you can go.

Protect His Majesty.

Fat-yan, take the Box of Treasure to me.

Catch it.

Are you kidding?

Why did you ask me to throw it to you?

Game over!

I am sorry.

It doesn't hurt!

But the one next to you is in bad luck.

That's No-face Stance.

It can transfer energy.

Pal, are you alright?

I am scared.

But I am fine.

I feel comfortable.

It's not painful at all.

So, I won't give it a damn.

Let me do it.

Pal, didn't you say comfortable?

It's really comfortable.

Forget it.

You'd better beat that guy.

I have to think something else.

Forget it, please hit me.

It's not predictable.

No color, no face,

long life to stay!

I am the supreme of the world!

Who is it?

My dear sister.

We all rely on you!

Soul Changing Stance.

I feel dizzy, I can't stand it anymore.

It's cheap! Who do you want to scare?

Don't you think such chain can lock me up?

It's not for locking you,

it's used to connect the lightning-rod.

You said, we will enjoy ourselves...

on a stormy night.

I'll let you try a wonderful thunder storm.

Yeah.

Yeah...

Don't move!

Fly...

Flying...

Fa...

Fairy

The thunder hit Fat.

So it transform his cells.

During the process, he gained extra power.

So, he can release the power of Flying Fairy.

At that moment, it seems that...

there was a flying fairy in the sky.

Isn't it illusion caused by air crash,

or am I drunk?

Of course you are drunk.

So, you have drunk much more than me.

I am drunk everyday.

It's strange, why hasn't Fat come to work today?

Brother Fat, where are you?

We can't live without you.

Brother Fat, where are you?

Hubby, it's so great!

Your new invention. . .

can let us fly freely in the sky.

Let us name it. . .

Helicopter, isn't it nice?

No, this isn't a good name.

Why not name it...

Air air air air air O Plane?

You are so smart, honey.

If not, how can I be your honey?

Hubby, let's fly again.

So romantic!

I want to have a baby with you.

- Really
- Really

Alright, let's go home and make love.

No way, I can't wait.

Let's do it here!

Oh no!